| "You know they have the Internet on computer now? -Homer Simpson |
| "Clean mind, clean body, choose one." -Ray Edelman |
| "How can a party that's inclusive of everyone be appealing to anyone?" -Stephen Colbert |
| "What do you call someone who is convinced that everyone is out to get them? Perceptive." -Woody Allen |
| "I bent my Wookie." -Ralph Wiggum |
| "People, did you know that Herb Albert owns half of Hawaii?" -Ray Eubanks |
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| "I'm a teenager. I eat rejection for breakfast." |
| "Man cannot live on peanut butter alone, but I'm willing to give it my best shot."-Me |
| "I wasn't exactly pretty and popular in high school, I was more like pretty unpopular." -Me |
| 1. Je suis un grand pamplemousse. |
| (I am a large grapefruit). |
| 2. Donde esta la biblioteca? |
| (Where is the library?) |
| 3. El tuyo es el cochinillo más bonito. |
| (Yours is the prettiest piglet.) |
| 4.Wo ist mein Schaumgummiring? |
| (Where's my donut?) |
| 5. Lo credo ho ordinato il grande cappacino. |
| (I believe I ordered the large cappacino.) |
| 6. Ich kann nicht mir glauben verlor meinen Taktmesser in der Unterlegscheibe wieder! |
| (I can't believe I lost my metronome in the washer again!) |
| 7. Anche i miei boogers sono piccanti! |
| (Even my boogers are spicy!) |
| 8. Luft Hockey ist eine Form der Unterhaltung! |
| 9. Intente encendido estos pantalones de la muerte, por favor. |
| (Air hockey is a form of entertainment!) |
| (Try on these pants of death, please.) |
| 10. Doblé mi Wookie. |
| (I bent my Wookie) |
| 11. Hasselhoff! |
| (Hasselhoff!) |
| 12. Kann ich stare an Ihrem Speck? |
| (Can I stare at your bacon?) |
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| (Get your bitch-ass in the kitchen and bake me a pie.) |
| 13. Erhalten Sie Ihren Weibchenesel in der Küche und backen Sie mich eine Pie-Chart. |
 How MEXICAN are you? Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com. |
| "We share the pants in this relationship. That way one of us is bare-assed at any given time." -Andy Scaggs |