~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Note: No, I have never been drunk before, I don't intend on getting drunk anytime in the near future, and I don't recommend it to anyone else.  Also, getting drunk is NOT the way to solve your problems, Twyla's just having a stupid moment here.  Okay, got the motherly speech out of the way, so without further ado...*steps off soapbox*)


Eugene Anderson walked into the Warsaw with only a little caution.  After all, this was not a place he tended to frequent.  He smiled with relief when he saw Twyla sitting at the bar.  They had talked quite a few times at work and had grown reasonably fond of each other.  Eugene crossed the bar quickly and sat down next to her.
"Hi Twyla."
Twyla turned to face Eugene, a silly grin growing on her face as she did.  It only took him a few seconds to realize that she was completely drunk.
"Hey...Eugene...nice man." She said with slurred speech.  Eugene made a face after getting a full whiff of her breath.
"Well, you're not quite yourself tonight are you?" he asked with a slightly patronizing tone.
"Mmmm..." was the only reply she gave.
"It's funny," The bartender said as he shook his head, "she's only had a few beers."
"A few?" Eugene asked.
"Yeah.  I think she's only had three.  She's must be new at this, or else she'd be able to hold her liquor better."
Hmm Eugene thought to himself, so she doesn't drink.  So why would she suddenly decide to get so smashed?
"Did something happen?" Eugene asked.  The silly grin quicky disappeared from Twyla's face.
"Lewis..."she muttered, "mean Lewis."
Eugene quickly wracked his brain.  Right, they were dating.
"What about Lewis?" Eugene asked. 
Twyla stuck out her lip and began to play with the beer bottle in front of her.
"Lewis was mean to me..."

******************************************************************************
(Earlier that evening...cue the flashback fog...)

"So then it turned, screamed at me, then ran out of the room." Lewis concluded his DrugCo story with a nod.  They were all sitting in Drew's living room talking.  Drew, Oswald, and Kate sat on the couch, Lewis sat in his usual chair, and Twyla sat on his lap.
"Weird.  Lewis, I will never get over how weird your job can be." Drew said.
"This from the guy who sits in a cubicle all day." Twyla jumped in.
Drew looked at her and raised his eyebrows.
"Eh tu, ye who just walks around cubicles all day instead of just sitting in one?"
Twyla rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, yeah.  All the boring qualities of your job with an added foot blister.  So we're both stuck on that point."
"Yeah, but my job's still more dangerous than his." Drew said proudly.
"Right, you've got Mimi." Oswald pipped up.
"Yeah, that's a volatile personality if I ever saw one." Twyla shook her head.
"Oh yeah?  Whatever happened to that 'I'm sure she really is a nice person deep down' crap?" Drew asked.
"Well Drew, it gets to a point where you just say 'well, she's a bitch and there's nothing to do about it'."
"Amen to that." Lewis said with a smile, "That's my girl." 
Twyla smiled warmly and gave Lewis a quick kiss before she got up.
"I'm going to get some water.  Anyone want anything while I'm up?"
"Beer!" Everyone shouted in unison.
"Why did I even ask?" Twyla said as she threw up her hands.  With that, she went into the kitchen.
"Man," Lewis said after a pause, "now my lap's all cold.  Care to change that sun-cheeks?" he said mischievously to Kate.
"Yeah Lewis, I'd love to jump into your lap with your girlfriend right in the next room.  Thanks, but I can think of better ways to die."
"Like what?"
"Oh, I don't know...anything slow and painful."
"Oh come on," Lewis pleaded, "Twy won't kill you.  Just sit for a minute, until she gets back."
"Ahem!" Twyla said from behind Lewis' chair.  Lewis turned around to see her giving him the ultimate look of death.  Silently, she handed everyone their beers and, instead of taking her place on Lewis' lap, sat on the other chair.

******************************************************************************
(Back to the present...or, at least the present in the story...is that technically the present?...my head hurts...) 
"He was mean to you?" Eugene asked with concern.
"Mmm, yeah.  He said mean things...made me cry." Twyla slurred and turned back to the bartender.
"More beer!" She ordered as harshly as she could in her intoxicated state.
"I think you've had enough hon." the bartender said.
"No!  More beer!  Don't wanna think about bad things...need beer."
"Twyla, come on." Eugene said as he took her by the arm and started to take her out of the bar.
"Hey, you take care of her all right!" The bartender yelled after them.
"I will." Eugene yelled back.
"No!"  Twyla yelled and fought back as well as she could.  People looked up to the source of the commotion and some looked like they wanted.  Most, though, had recognized Eugene and dismissed the matter because they knew he was gay.  Eventually, Twyla gave up the struggle and let Eugene take her to his car.  He put her in the passenger seat and buckled her seat belt.  He then got into the drivers side and turned to Twyla.
"So, can you tell me where you live so I can drop you off?"
Twyla turned to Eugene and glared at him.
"I don't wanna talk to you...you're mean."
"Ugh, fine.  I'll take you back to my place then 'till you sober up and tell me where you live."  Eugene sighed with frustration as he drove off.
******************************************************************************  (Earlier that evening again...where's the flashback fog?...what do you mean the machine isn't working?...)

"You know, it's amazing how well you can hear things in here from the kitchen." Twyla said, her perkiness accompanied by an obvious sharpness.  Lewis caught this, and it didn't take long to figure out that Twyla was mad and why she was mad.
"Twy, I was just joking."
Twyla looked at her drink silently.
"Come on Twy, we've joked like that for years."
She looked up slowly at Lewis.  Her expression was unreadable.
"Lewis, considering what happened with my last boyfriend, do you really think that's a good thing to joke about?"
"Man Twy, just because Greg did it doesn't mean I will.  It's not like you're an epidemic that makes your boyfriends want to date someone else."
"Greg was at least a little more discreet about it." Twyla scoffed.
Lewis sighed with frustration.
"Did you not hear a word I just said?"
"Yeah, I heard it.  I've heard it from everyone else too, including Greg for that matter."
Twyla paused for a minute, then she let her face soften and continued, "Look, could you please just be a little more sensitive about this?  Just don't joke about it."
"Oh please Twyla, just...get over it or something.  It's not your decision what I joke about with my friends.  And that's what we are, Kate and I.  Just friends." Lewis said, his tone rising.
"Just friends!" Twyla shot up and exclaimed, "Right, just friends!  Like she and Drew were 'just friends', or like she and Oswald were 'just friends'."
"Um, I think we should leave..." Drew started cautiously.
"Stay.  I need some support here.  Or at least witnesses." Lewis ordered.
"Lewis, come on," Twyla said with exasperation, "she's beautiful, she's fun, and she's got a crummy track record when it comes to keeping friendships 'just friendships'."
"She's also within earshot..." Kate popped in with a warning tone.
Twyla ignored her and continued, "Can you understand why I'm a little nervous to begin with, and why your 'joking' with her isn't helping my nerves any?"
"No!  Because I know that I won't date her, so I don't see why you should be nervous or why I should stop the joking."
"Lewis, maybe if you just did what she said..."Drew suggested cautiously.
"No Drew!  Because this is a matter of principle.  She's trying to control me and I'm trying to fight it."
"What?!  Controlling?!  You...YOU MORON!!  YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOT!!!" Twyla shouted out of pure anger as loud as she could manage.  Lewis stood still, his face tight with anger and his eyes glassed over and wide with shock.  The entire room seemed to vibrate with tension before Lewis spoke again.
"This..." he started in cold and quiet anger, "this is the girl I sang to?" he concluded with disgust.  Now it was Twyla's turn to tighten her face to hide her hurt.  His words felt like a bullet going right through her stomach, and she was bleeding to death right in Drew's living room.  Silently, she ran out of the house, sobbing the entire way.  Someone might've been calling her back, but she didn't notice, nor did she care.
  Lewis had given her the ride to Drew's house so she ended up walking to the Warsaw.  Once there, she ran in and sat right at the bar.
"What will it be?" The bartender asked.  Twyla looked up and wiped off the tears still running down her cheeks.  She took a minute to choke back her tears before replying.
"Just some..." she was about to order water, but she felt the occasion called for something else.
"Beer please.  And keep them comming."

******************************************************************************
(Back to the present...)
"Drew, it's Greg." A panicky voice greeted Drew when he answered his phone.
"Hey Greg, what's up?"
"Is Twyla there?"
"Um...no.  She and Lewis had a fight and she ran off." Drew cringed at the memory, still fresh in his mind.
"Man, now I'm worried.  I tried Lewis' place and no one was there.  I tried Kate's place and she said she didn't know.  I tried the Warsaw and they said she was there, then left with some guy.  I thought maybe she went back to your place."
"Well, I haven't seen her yet.  Maybe she's on her way home...or, did they tell you about the guy she left with?"
"I asked, and it wasn't anyone I knew.  I asked for a name and they said 'Eugene Anderson.'  Do you know him?"
"Yeah...yeah I do.  Look, I'll give him a call and I'll call you back when I'm done okay?"
"Okay."
Drew hung up the phone with a sigh and searched desperately for Eugene's number.

******************************************************************************

"Lemmie go!" Twyla shouted as she stumbled into Eugene's living room.  She ended up flopping down on the couch and folding her arms like a disobedient child.  Eugene looked at her and closed the door quietly.  He then took a seat next to her on the couch.
"Are you ready to talk to me yet?" he asked.  Twyla simply looked at him and stuck her tongue out.  Eugene rolled his eyes.
"Fine, I'm just going to have to talk to Drew.  Maybe he'll be able to help."  With that, he got up and went over to the phone.

******************************************************************************

Drew jumped as the phone rang just as he was going to take it off the hook.  He took a second to recover, then answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Drew, it's Eugene."
"Hey Eugene, I was just going to call you.  Do you know where Twyla is?  You know, my assistant from work?  We were getting kind of worried."
"Yeah, she's here.  At my place, and completely drunk."
"Drunk?  Wow, I knew that fight was bad, but god damn..."
"Yeah, I was going to mention that.  What in hell happened?  I'd ask her but...well, apparently I'm a mean man for not letting her get any more beers and now she won't talk to me."
"Man, nothing worse than a stubborn drunk.  Anyway..." So Drew managed to describe the fight in half a minute, leaving Eugene with a somber expression.
"Wow, that's rough.  No wonder she wanted to get so drunk.  I would to if I were in her place."
"Well aside from that, is she okay?"
"Well...she just passed out on my couch, but other than that she's fine."
"Great.  Well, I'll call her one of her roommates to pick her up."
"Actually Drew, I have a better idea..."




Chapter Seven