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"Geez, sounds like you had your first celebrity encounter!" my brother said as he listened closely to my story.

"Wow, Chris, this is way too much.  I really don't deserve all this," I said, looking in awe over the fancy hotel in front of us.  We pulled into the parking lot, got out of the car, and got our bags out of the trunk.

"Ah, nothing but the best for my sister- college graduation only happens once in a lifetime," Chris (my brother) said with a hug.  Walking down the sidewalk, we watched these huge stretch limos pull in and out of the pick-up/drop-off area. 

"Oh, Chris…I still can't believe- the Hilton?!"

A short man dressed in burgundy formal attire suddenly opened the big brass doors to the hotel.  "Welcome, enjoy your stay at the Hilton," said the man with a friendly smile.  "Must be the doorman," I mumbled to myself as I looked back over my shoulder. 

My brother and I walked over to the check-in counter and got our room keys- room 203.  Since our room was on the second floor, we had our choice of either taking the stairs or this beautiful glass elevator.  Both Chris and I looked at our options, looked at each other and smiled.

"Glass elevator!!" we exclaimed as we rolled our suitcases into the elevator and enjoyed the brief ride to our floor.  Our room was down the hall a ways, but we managed to find it in a small wing of rooms.  Chris inserted the key and opened the door to find two queen-sized beds with a rather large TV, bathroom with brass fixtures, a mini-bar and a small round table with two chairs.  It was absolutely breathtaking to me, since I never had the opportunity to stay in such a glamorous hotel.

We put down the bags on our beds and pulled out our trusty Fodor's travel book.  "Where should we go tomorrow?" my brother asked, leafing through the book.

I thought about the question for a minute while looking at our view from the window. Suddenly, my eyes lit up.  "Let's go hunt celebrities!" I said excitedly.  I felt like Lucy Ricardo in Hollywood. 

My brother chuckled as he saw the gleam in my eyes, "Uh…no."

LATER THAT NIGHT

"I think I'm going to go take a shower," Chris said as he got up from his bed, stretching. 

I nodded, flipping through the channels on TV.  I suddenly stopped clicking when I came across a familiar scene of WL on CC.  It happened to be one of my favorite episodes with Ryan.  The only way I knew it was my favorite was from the clothes Ryan was wearing- a yellow shirt with a brown button-down over it.  They had gotten into a game of PQ in which Tony was the host.  I happened to tune in at Ryan's turn, his famous 'finding Tony's camel' quirk. 

I watched his antics, yelling, "Whee-ah!" and jumping around the stage, riding on something Tony had trouble figuring out.  Hysterically laughing, I nearly fell off the bed.  When they went to a commercial, I decided I was hungry so I wiped the tears from my face and knocked on the bathroom door.

"I'm going out to the machines for a snack!  Be back in a few." I screamed.  I got no response, but I couldn't wait so I grabbed my key, some change, and headed out to the hallway.

Now, which way to that vending machine, I thought?  I decided to head left and walked down the hall.  As I got closer to the vending/soda machine wing, I heard this banging noise as if someone was taking his anger out on one of the machines.  When I got to the wing, sure enough, some guy was cursing, yelling as many four-letter words as he could think of.  I stood and stared at this man, thinking, "Geez, who needs chocolate this badly?" 

Even though I could only see the back of this man, he looked somewhat familiar…skinny, tall.  But who else do I know that is that skinny, that tall- no…he couldn't be…in this hotel?  I dismissed my thoughts immediately.

"I always have good luck with vending machines.  Can I help you with that?" I asked, willing to lend a hand.  The man turned around.  Oh…my…god…it was Ryan!!  I swear my heart skipped a beat.

"Oh sorry about that- wait, Lisa?!" Ryan looked surprised. 

"Ryan?  What are you doing here?  I thought you had a house in LA!"  Was he following me around town or something? Hmm…nah.

"Yeah, I do, but damn those carpenter ants in my house!  It's being exterminated, so no one can be in the house for the next 36 hours."

"Wow," I said, "Are the wife and kids with you?" I asked. Did I look too hopeful?  God, I hope not.

"No," Ryan replied sadly, "Pat took the kids to her parents' house for the next few days.  With the taping and all, Drew would kick my ass if I wasn't there, so I decided to stay around here."

I nodded understandingly.  Was this a dream or something?  I pinched myself subtly.  Nope, not a dream, thank god!  "So, do you want some help with that vending machine?"  Please say yes, please say yes!

"I'd like that, thanks."  Ryan reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled dollar bill that he had so forcefully tried to get into the machine moments ago.  He looked down at the floor as he handed me the money.  It was still warm!  ::Sigh::

"You must really want your chocolate!" I joked.  Ryan chuckled as he put his hands back into his pockets. 

We walked over to the vending machine, which was now dented from Ryan's violent abuse.  "Oh shit," Ryan mumbled, looking at the consequences of his vending rage.  "Aw, don't worry about it- it could happen to anyone," I reassured and gently touched Ryan's arm.  His head turned slowly and he stared at me for what seemed like an eternity.  What was going on here, I kept thinking.  Some time later, I broke away from the stare. 

"Ok…let's get you that chocolate," I said, trying to get back to the point.  I sighed and put his dollar into the machine only to have it come back out at me in total rejection. 

"Damn it!" I exclaimed.  Ryan laughed, "Now you know how I feel!" I shot him a sarcastic, 'thanks-a-lot' look and continued to try getting his money into that stupid machine.  With each unsuccessful try, I only swore more.  With each attempt and my developing rage, Ryan only laughed harder.  "Shut up!" I said playfully and punched him in the arm.  He had such a wonderful laugh, I thought. 

On my last try, the money went in- success!  "Woo hoo!" I yelled and jumped up and down, dancing around Ryan.  At first he gave me a 'are you okay?" look which eventually led to that sweet, sincere smile that made all his Gutter Girls swoon.

"You are too funny," Ryan said.

"I know!" I joked and winked. Oh gosh, was that too much?  Did he notice what I just did?  Whatever, it's all in good fun, I assured myself.

I got his candy out of the machine and handed it to him. 

"Who are you staying with?" he asked inquisitively, opening up his Snickers bar.

"Oh, just my older brother.  He's a big fan of the show- oh god, I must sound like some strange groupie.  Please stop me."

"Don't worry about it- it's actually kind of flattering to hear about the fans.  What room are you staying in?" Ryan questioned.

"Room 203, down the hall a ways on the left-hand side." I said matter-of-factly as I pointed down the hall.

He nodded, "Interesting.  Well, I must be heading back to my room.  I'm expecting a call from the wife.  You know how it is…" Ryan said with a wink. 

Ryan walked out of the wing, but came back moments later.  I was still standing in that awe-struck stance I was in when he left.  He pointed at me, "Same time tomorrow night?" he asked.

"Uh, sure…" I said softly as he waved and left the wing again.  I waited for him to return but he never did.  Oh well, I thought.  At least I know where he is…my celebrity hunting is already done!  My dreams come true! 

I got a grip on myself and put some spare change into the vending machine and contemplated over what to get.  "Hmm…B4" I said as I pressed the buttons and down came my weakness…M+Ms. As I walked out of the wing, I held up my bag of chocolate and kissed the bag.  Heading back to my room, I broke out in my little cowboy-giddy up dance that I do when I'm hyper.

All of a sudden, I heard this faint laughter from behind.  I quickly turned around to see this figure dive into a doorway.  I shrugged it off, figuring it was the cleaning service or something.  I then started humming the hoedown tune to myself. 

I love Ryan Stiles; he really is so cute
Today I got to meet him- my own horn I should toot.
He smiled and he winked at me, oh it was a sight
I will have many, many of those sweet dreams tonight.

I had reached my room by the end of the song, so I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone had heard me.  Way down the hall I saw that same figure who had heard me before.  It was too dark down there to see who it was.  Damn it, I thought, who is that?  As I put my key in the door, the figure stepped into the light, applauding.

Can it be?  Before I could register who exactly it was, I quickly opened and closed the door behind me, examining my own thoughts.  Oh my god, if that was Ryan…I'm so embarrassed.

My brother had already been in bed, so I quickly got into my pajamas and headed to bed.  Around midnight that night, there was a quiet knocking at the door.  I rolled over and groggily looked at the clock. "2:15? Good God, who the hell could that be?"

I put on a robe and walked over to the door only to find the person I least expected to show up at my doorstep.


Part Three