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**5:24 P.M.; The Los Angeles Luxury Hotel - Room 602.**
Cher was still crying as Jamie said, "You've got to get a hold of yourself. Let's go downstairs and rent that car we've been talking about. Gail's coming soon and we have to go pick her up, remember?" Cher nodded and stood up. Jamie passed her a tissue. "Thanks," Cher said.
Five minutes later, both girls were approaching the lobby's front desk. When they arrived, Jamie spoke to the woman at the desk because Cher was still teary. "Hi, We'd like to rent a car, please."
"Great, for how long?" The receptionist said pleasantly.
"Till Sunday." Jamie answered this and the rest of her questions as clearly and as accurately as possible. A moment later, she had a couple of shiny metal pieces attached to a dainty silver ring cupped in her hand.
"Come on, Cherry. I know what will make you feel better. Let's go and have some dinner." She had to literally drag Cher along with her because she did not want to go.
"Jamie, we should go back to our room. I mean, what if Gail calls again? Shouldn't we call her back?"
"Hello, we've got our cell phones with us, and you've already memorized Gail's number…let's just go."
"Alright." Cher sighed, and reluctantly followed Jamie towards the hotel's only restaurant, The Palm Terrace. After dinner, she'd be forced to call Gail with the bad news. The thought made her deeply depressed.
**5:35 P.M.; The George Burns Memorial Hospital**
Colin pulled up to the hospital and parked his car a few feet away. Ryan got out of the car and stared up at the building that stood broad and tall in front of him.
He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. I don't know how I'm going to react to this. What if Diedrich is…dead? No, I shouldn't think about that. I must be optimistic. Be optimistic, Ryan. We didn't mean to leave the girls behind…but we all thought it was best that they stay at the hotel because Jamie had to get settled… Secretly, Ryan hoped that Cher would insist on coming to the hospital to comfort him - but he knew that wouldn't happen.
Colin patted his friend on the back. "Aww, Ry, it'll be okay. We've been through this type of thing before. Try to loosen up a bit, will ya? It'll be alright." He looked sympathetically at Ryan as he took another deep breath.
Inside the hospital, the sound of laughing somewhat comforted Ryan. Others were sharing his pain and were also scared, but he was sure their reasons were vastly different from his own. Still, it was nice to know he wasn't alone. He wondered how serious Diedrich's stab wounds were.
The pair stepped up to the front desk. "May I help you gentlemen? Excuse me," The receptionist paused and blushed. Then she said, "What can I do for you today, Mr. Stiles, Mr. Mochrie?"
Colin and Ryan gave her and uneasy smile. Before they could speak, the receptionist said, "Oh I know, Mr. Bader is on the second floor. His recovery room number is 223."
"Thanks," Ryan said. They turned away and speed walked to the elevator.
On the second floor, Drew, Christa, Kathy, Craig, and many other Drew Carey Show/Whose Line is it Anyway? Cast members gathered in the private waiting room to show their support for each other, and Diedrich. Diedrich's parents were in their son's room. He had just received some stitches. Just stitches because the damage from the wounds was minimal.
Christa looked up. "Jeez! What took you guys so long?" Her hands were holding Drew's. Both of the casts had gotten so close over the past few years that they were practically family.
Before Ryan had a chance to speak, the doctor walked in along with Mr. And Mrs. Bader. "Okay, you can go and see Diedrich now, but only two of you can visit him at a time."
"Thank you, Doc." Drew said. He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Oh.." Mr. Bader spoke up. "Diedrich wants to speak to Ryan first." Everyone smiled and exchanged glances, thinking that it was just some "Lewis & Ozwald" thing.
"Me?" Ryan was a little surprised. He had just gotten to the hospital. "I'm not sure I'm ready to see him. Hospitals give me the creeps." Ryan said quietly.
Colin knew exactly how his best friend was feeling. The pair had been friends for over a decade and had developed a near psychic connection during that period of time. "Go on." Colin gave him an encouraging push toward Diedrich's room.
Ryan swallowed hard as he walked in. Diedrich was peacefully resting in his hospital bed. He noticed his pal's entry, looked up and smiled.
"Hey Buddy, what happened to you?" Ryan's voice was very shaky.
Diedrich didn't seem to notice. "Well, uh…I was walking down the street and the next thing I knew, I passed out and woke up here."
"Sounds bad. Hey, wasn't there something you wanted to tell me?"
"Oh yeah," Diedrich paused. "Did you notice that Kaili wasn't in the waiting room?" Ryan shook his head. "I asked my parents to tell her to stay home. They don't really care for her all that much so they didn't mind." Ryan pondered Diedrich's mini speech and said, "She must have been worried. Why didn't you want her to be here? I mean, you are still a couple, right?"
"Actually, to tell you the truth, I was on my way to…uh, break up with her when I was stabbed." Diedrich smiled sheepishly.
Ryan relaxed a bit and pulled up a chair close to Diedrich's bed. "Were you having problems…or was it another girl?" Ryan took on a "Lewis" expression that lit up his entire face. "Oh…" Diedrich blushed.
"You sly dog, you." Ryan winked.
The door flew open, it was Christa and Drew. Ryan got up from the chair and said, "I'll talk to ya later. Get some rest."
When he had shut the door, Christa began to speak, "We were really worried about you. The doctor said…"
Drew cut in, "The doctor said that you were losing a hell of a lotta blood."
"Naw…they must have been exaggerating," Diedrich grinned.
**6:41 P.M. PST; Cleveland, Ohio**
Ring, ring…ring, ring… A muffled sleepy voice said, "Hello?"
"Gail, I didn't wake you up did I?"
"Who is this?"
"It's me, Cher. Did I wake you?"
"Not really, I was just resting. It's still early. Too early to sleep."
"Good, what time does your flight arrive in LA?"
"Supposedly, 10:35 A.M."
"Supposedly," Cher giggled. "Flights almost never leave or arrive on time."
"You've got that right! So what did you guys do today?"
"Let's see…Jamie met everyone today at lunch and nearly fainted when she met Colin." Gail laughed. Cher continued, "Um…Colin drove us to the hotel after work and Ryan had to come along," She grinned.
"Well, wherever Ryan goes, Colin goes too, and vice versa, right?"
"Yeah, it looks that way. All the guys are such sweethearts! I wish that you and all of the other girls could go and watch the filming. I'd hook you all up with backstage stuff." She giggled. Then a moment passed. Cher started to speak again, and with every word she spoke, her voice became faster and squeakier, "Well, Christa called the hotel with some bad news…Ryan and Colin went to the hospital, Jamie and I settled in, and ate dinner, and…"
"Whoa, Cher. I cannot understand what you're saying. Try again, nice and slow."
"Never mind. I'll tell you when you get here, okay?" She was still talking fast, and her pulse was still racing.
"Come on, what's this about a hospital?" Gail sounded concerned.
"Nothing serious. Don't worry about it. Just don't mention the 'hospital' part to the girls, okay? I don't want them to worry much, and I'm sure he doesn't want them to worry either."
"He? Cher, did someone get seriously hurt? Oh my gosh?! Please tell me it wasn't Drew!!!" Gail tensed, and Cher could almost hear her heart thumping over the phone.
"No, it wasn't Drew, alright? I hope the press doesn't find out about this yet. It's kind of a private matter, and NO ONE deserves to have the press up in their faces while they are trying to recover."
"Recover?!" Gail squeaked, "This sounds very serious, Cher. But, I won't say anything. I promise. Still, I'd like to know who, and what happened."
"Gail, You know I'd tell you if I could, but in my heart, I don't feel like I should tell anyone what's happening or what has happened..yet. When you come down to LA, you'll see or find out for yourself."
"Alright, Cher. But, you know this is going to bug me."
"Yeah. So…are you all packed?" Cher desperately wanted to change the touchy subject.
"Yup, I just have to ask my neighbors if they can take care of my puppy, water my plants and get my mail for me while I'm gone."
"Uh-huh. So," Cher started to speak again. "Jamie and I are going to meet you at the airport tomorrow…oh shoot! I have to work tomorrow. I need to help build up the 'surprise' that Jamie and I thought up."
"Doesn't Jamie have to be there too?"
"Not yet."
"What's the surprise?"
"I can't say," Cher said seriously. "But, eventually, you'll get to witness it first hand."
"Lucky me!" Gail said playfully. "Gosh! I'm going to meet Drew. Does he know I'm coming?"
"Nope," Cher shook her head. "That's another surprise..maybe you can lay low tomorrow at the studio, and we can arrange for you two to have lunch or something…"
"Oh jeez! I wouldn't know what to say…"
"Well, for starters, you do have that webpage you've been working on."
"Oh yeah, I can't believe I forgot."
"Well, now you can show him in person!" Cher smiled broadly, "Anyway, Ry said he'd call from the hospital, so I'd better get off the phone now. Talk to you later. Jamie'll pick you up tomorrow morning, okay?"
"Alright, See you at the studio."
"Just try not to run into Drew, alright?"
Gail laughed, "That's going to be hard, considering it is his show."
Cher giggled, "Ciao!" They hung up.
Ring, Ring. "Hello?" Cher picked up the receiver."
"Cher? It's me. I'm sorry we got interrupted today, I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"Ryan, that's okay. That call was important." Cher tensed. "So, how are you holding up, I know you don't really care for hospitals. How's Diedrich? Is he? Is he…?"
"Calm down. We're both fine." Ryan laughed. "In fact, I just finished talking to him. He received some stitches that's all. Nothing major."
"That's great. I was so worried. Drew left a message at the hotel. He made Diedrich's condition out to be way serious, possibly even life threatening!"
"That's how Christa sounded when she called the hotel. But, rest assured, everything is fine. Hey, when is Gail coming?"
"Gail is coming tomorrow morning. Jamie's going to pick her up and stop at the studio after she settles in at the hotel."
"Well, I have an idea. How about we introduce Gail and Drew tomorrow, but at dinner. He doesn't have any idea that Gail is coming…but since she does know, wouldn't it be cool if she was also in on this?"
"Yeah, I was just thinking about arranging something surprisingly similar to your idea. That was weird. Anyway, I could tell Jamie to fill her in and maybe keep her out of Drew's sight as much as possible…Although Drew doesn't know what she looks like anyway…I hope she doesn't have too much jet lag." Cher was rambling and she knew it.
"She's flying in from Cleveland, right?"
"Wow! You really did your homework." They both chuckled for a few seconds.
"Well Cher, leave the details to me." Ryan smirked. "You should get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Yes Daddy." Cher giggled and brushed a chocolate colored lock of hair behind her ear.
"Oh shush, you. Hey, Can you put Jamie on the phone?"
"Alrighty." Cher put the receiver down and motioned for Jamie to go to the phone and take her place. "Jamie, Ryan wants to talk to you."
"Um, okay." Jamie picked up the receiver while Cher went over to her laptop computer.
"Hello?" Jamie said softly.
"Hey Jamie." That was not Ryan's voice.
"Colin?!"
"How'd you guess?"
"You have a very distinct voice. I could pick it out of a million Scots men's."
He laughed, "So how are you guys? Did you get settled in okay?"
Meanwhile, Cher sat at the coffee table typing away. She was at her favorite webpage: The Ryan Stiles "Giraffe" Message Board. She went there so often it had become the homepage for her internet browser.
"Hey Guttergirls!" Cher typed into the subject line of her post. "Guttergirls" is the term fondly used for the many female fans of Ryan Stiles. One of the Guttergirls, StylinShrimp, even made up an 'official' song for them. Usually directed towards the adult female fans, the term 'Guttergirl' would arise when they take one look at Ryan, and their minds go straight to the gutter. Other names for Ryan's fans include: "Giraffettes," "Patients of Ryanitis," "Ryanaholics," or simply, "Fans of Ryan."
In the body of her message, she wrote, "Hey Galz! I'm just checking in on all of you. Jamie's on the phone talking to "Ryan" but by the look on her face, I assume that he put Colin on the phone. I wish you all could be here. Gail's coming tomorrow morning. Every minute of being on "vacation" has been a total trip!!! Reply soon, Cherry - the Hollywood Star (Just Kidding…)"
She pressed submit and refresh. A few minutes later, she already had a reply to her message. It was from Jessica, the author of one of her favorite fan fiction stories.
The body of Jessica's reply read, "Hey Cher and Jamie! I'm so jealous. I wish I could get some tickets to the tapings and fly down to see you guys! Take lots of pictures and take care. - Jess"
As soon as she finished reading, she heard a click. The phone receiver. Cher turned around and saw a beaming Jamie, who looked almost ready to faint. "Sooo…what did you and 'Ryan' talk about?"
Jamie knew that Cher had discovered that she hadn't been talking to Ryan. "Ryan" and I are going out one day after work. He suggested that we all go out together. "Ryan" and I, "Colin" and yourself, you know, a double date."
Cher giggled, "You go girl! Did you ask, or did he?"
Jamie blushed, "Actually, we kinda asked at the same time."
"Really? Wow! That's great." She was genuinely happy for her friend.
"Oh Jeez! I forgot about Gail." Jamie slapped her forehead.
"No problem," Cher winked.
**9:03 P.M.; Back at the hospital - Ryan had pulled Drew aside**
"What is it, Ry? Is something wrong?" Drew asked worriedly.
"No," Ryan shook his head. "Well, I know how you feel about being set up, but someone desperately wants to meet you."
Drew rolled his eyes, "God Ry, when is this going to stop?"
"This woman isn't gonna be like the others. I promise. Give her a chance. Do it for me, please?"
Drew pondered the idea for a second. "Alright, where and when, and who is she?"
"Well, I promised I wouldn't say who she was," Ryan lied. "But, she's not a psycho, and she's not like Mimi. Plus, she is very polite and sweet from what I've heard. Also, she's a fan."
"How do you know this?"
"Just trust me on this one. Okay, you gotta be at that Italian restaurant, Zia's, at about 8-tomorrow night. She'll meet you there."
"Okay, I'll take your word for it. So, should I take her for a night on the town, Drew Carey style?"
"That's up to you, buddy." Ryan grinned, "Just get through dinner first, okay?" Ryan's plan had worked. He'd tell Cher the details at work the next morning.

Part Six