~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Greg Proops leaned forward on the table.  His chin rested in his hand, his cigarette held loosely between his first two fingers.  His other hand slowly turned the half empty glass in front of him.
     "So what you're telling me," he said as he moved his hand up to adjust his glasses, "is that you could have any woman, in this place, that you wanted."  It was a statement rather than a question.
     Brad Sherwood was leaning back in his chair.  He was on his fourth beer and it was starting to show.  His eyes looked a bit glazed as he tried to focus on Greg's response.  He blinked a couple of times, not liking the way the lights of the club reflected off Greg's glasses as he spoke.  When Greg finished his statement, Brad raised his eyebrows, a confident smirk playing across his lips.  He reached for his beer.
     "That's what I'm saying," he said smugly.
     "Get real!"  Drew Carey spoke from the seat to Brad's left.  He reached up to push back the glasses that were no longer there: an old habit that would be a long time in breaking.
     Brad set his beer back on the table and reached into his shirt pocket for the pack of cigarettes there.
     "Is that a challenge?" he said, pulling a cigarette from the pack and putting it between his lips.  He searched in vain for his lighter, patting his chest and pants pockets.  A lit match suddenly presented itself in front of him.  Brad looked at the large hand and followed the long arm that it was attached to across the table to find it belonged to an amused Ryan Stiles.  "Thanks," said Brad as he lit the cigarette.  Ryan shook the match out and sat back in his chair with a nod.  He crossed his arms over his chest and focused his green eyes on Drew.
     Brad took a drag off his cigarette and blew the smoke out of a corner of his mouth.  "Are you challenging me?" he said again to Drew.  Drew took a long gulp of beer.  He moved nervously in his chair and inadvertently kicked Ryan who had his long legs stretched out under the table.
     "Will ya move your big giraffe legs?" Drew said irritably.
     "Shut up and answer the man, Drew," said Ryan, not bothering to move his legs.  He continued to look at Drew expectantly.
     "OK, fine!" Drew said, feeling cornered.  "Yes!  That's a challenge!"
     Brad smirked again as he placed his cigarette between his lips again and left it there as he reached into his pants pocket to pull out his wallet.
     "All right," he said around the cigarette, "then let's make this interesting."  Brad opened his wallet and produced a hundred dollar bill.  He waved it in the air and then placed it down in the middle of the table.  "You pick any woman in here and if I can't get her to let me buy her a drink, this is yours," he said as he gestured toward the bill.
     Drew looked at the bill thoughtfully for a moment and then looked at the other men around the table.  Their faces were neutral.
     "OK, all right, you're on, Slappy!"  Drew said as he reached for his own wallet.  "But one little change."
     "And that is..?" Brad asked, curious.
     "We pick one woman, whichever one of us buys her a drink first, wins!"  Drew said as he slapped a hundred on the table.
     "Oh, I see," Brad said, clearly amused.  "You think you can get a woman's interest before I can!"  Brad laughed and pointed a finger at Drew.  "You…are ON!"
     "I say we make this even more interesting."  Colin Mochrie had remained silent up to this point.  The group of men turned and looked at him.
     "Moooochrie speaks!" Greg exclaimed.  He and the other guys began chanting "Moochrie" over and over as if they were cows.  Colin rolled his eyes.
     "I'm beginning to think 'Captain Hair' was better," he said.
     Greg nudged Colin as the rest of the table giggled.  "You know we do it because we love you, kitten," Greg said.  "What's your idea to make this little 'game'," Greg gestured to Brad and Drew, "more interesting?"
     Colin turned to a nearby waitress.  "May I borrow your pen for a little bit?" he asked.  He smiled, showing off his dimples and she could hardly refuse.  Colin took the pen after thanking her and grabbed his cocktail napkin.  He looked at the waiting group of men around him.
     "Well?" asked Ryan.
     "Well…" began Colin, "…we each throw in a hundred bucks and then write down who we think is going to win.  Anyone with the winning name splits the cash."  Colin ended this by throwing his own hundred dollar bill in the middle of the table.  He scribbled something on his napkin and then turned it over, holding the pen toward Greg.  Greg looked at the pen a moment before taking it.
     "I'm in," he said with a sigh.  He also scribbled something on his napkin and then put the pen in front of Ryan.
     "This is ridiculous," said Ryan.
     "Oh come on!" said Greg.  What have you got to lose?"
     "A hundred bucks!" Ryan exclaimed.
     "Oh please!"  said Drew.  "Just put your money on the table!  And if you're smart you'll write my name down on that napkin!"
     "C'mon, Ryan," said Colin.  "Who knows, you might win." 
     Greg's eyes narrowed as he thought he caught one of those unspoken communications between Colin and Ryan happening.  It was over too fast for him to tell though.
     "Fine," Ryan said as he grabbed the pen.  He wrote on his napkin and then produced two fifties, which he threw on the table.  "There.  We've got five-hundred bucks now."
     "That's not much," said Drew.
     "Oh quiet, Mr. 'I've Got Two Shows'!"  Greg teased.  Drew grinned and stuck his tongue out at Greg.
     "All right," said Brad, "we've gotta pick a woman."
     "I want Ryan to do it!"  Drew said quickly.  Ryan sat up straight in his chair.
     "Why me?!"  he asked.
     "Because I trust you the most to be fair," Drew replied.
     "Well thank you for that vote of confidence," Colin said.
     "No, no!  I don't mean it like that," Drew said.  Colin raised his hand at Drew and looked toward Ryan.
     "Fine.  Ryan, pick away," he said.  Ryan leaned his head back, his mouth open, looking as if he were waiting for help from above.  He leaned back in his chair again and looked around the room.
     "Her," he finally said, pointing to a woman at the bar.  She was a tall, leggy woman with dark hair that fell to the middle of her back.  She had full lips and beautiful eyes.  She wore a halter-top that showed off her flat stomach and a pair of tight black pants.  On her feet she wore a pair of black boots. 
     "Niiiice choice," Greg said with an evil grin.
     Drew and Brad eyed her warily.  She merely glanced at their table, not showing the slightest bit of interest in anyone there.  Her gaze had lingered on Drew for just a moment longer than the others but then proceeded elsewhere.
     "This one's in the bag," Drew said as he rose from his chair.
     "You wish," Brad sneered.  He followed Drew to the bar while the others watched.
     "Who did you put down?" Greg asked Colin after Brad and Drew had left.
     "You'll find out soon enough," Colin replied with a smile.
     At the bar, Drew had taken a position to the woman's right, Brad to her left.  Drew turned to her first.
     "Hi, there," he said.  "I'm Drew Carey."  The woman glanced over at him, clearly uninterested.
      "Hi," she said, no emotion in her voice.  She was unreadable.  She put her drink to her lips and took a swallow.
     "Hey, looks like you're almost done with that," said Drew.  "Can I get you another one?"
     "Oh…" she looked at her glass, which was indeed almost empty.  "No thanks," she finally said.  Brad had a triumphant smile on his face as he leaned back and looked at Drew.  Drew's look challenged Brad to do better.
     Brad leaned forward again and looked at the woman.  "This guy hassling you?" he asked her.  The woman looked at Brad.  Again, she was unreadable.
     "No, he's fine," she said to him.  Drew smiled a Brad.  He placed his thumbs at his temples, his hands outstretched, and wiggled his fingers.  The woman caught the movement in the corner of her eye and turned to Drew.  Drew snatched his hands away from his head, but kept wiggling his fingers, trying to come up with some sort of cover.
     "Are you ok?" the woman asked, her face concerned. 
     "Uh…yeah," Drew said haltingly.  "I'm…just…limbering up my fingers."  The woman's eyes grew wide and she leaned away from Drew.  "No, no!  I don't mean…ah, screw it," Drew said.  He was defeated.  He knew it.  "Damn my improvisational skills," he muttered to himself.
     Brad, in the meantime, was laughing his fake laugh at Drew.  "Ha, ha, ha!  He's a card isn't he?" he said, attempting to be charming.  "Say, why don't you let me get you another drink, just to make up for bringing him over here."  The woman looked at her now empty glass.
     "Well…" she looked at Brad and hesitated.  "…Not just now.  Thanks."  The smile fell off Brad's face.  He was failing also.
     "Maybe later then?" he asked, smiling again.
     "I don't know, I-"  Just then a large mug of beer was set down on the bar between Brad and the woman.  They both looked at it, confused.  The woman was about to say something to the bartender when a long arm shot out and grabbed the mug.
     "Excuse me," she heard a voice say.  It was like honey and gravel all at once.  Deep, like a growl, and smooth as a purr.  She turned her head and came face to face with a pair of gorgeous green eyes.  A small smile crossed Ryan's lips.
     "Sorry," Ryan said.  "Just need to grab my beer.  Didn't mean to interrupt."
     "No problem," the woman said as she watched Ryan stand up to his full height.   "Wow, you sure are a tall drink of water," she said with a mischievous smile.  Brad and Drew watched and listened in amazement.  Ryan shrugged.
     "What's your name?" he asked.  The woman batted her eyelashes at him.
     "Andrea," she answered.
     "Andrea, could I buy your next drink?" asked Ryan.
     "Sure," the Andrea said.   Brad's mouth fell open.  Drew was face down on the bar, shaking his head.  Ryan gestured for the bartender.
     "Could you get her another, please?" he said, gesturing to Andrea.  "Just put it on my tab."  The bartender nodded and set to work on Andrea's drink.  Ryan stuck his hand out for Andrea to shake.  She took it, eagerly.  "Andrea, it was a pleasure to meet you," Ryan said with a grin.  He turned to go when Andrea stopped him.
     "Wait!  You're leaving?"  she said.  Ryan stopped and turned toward her again.  "You don't want to stay and talk, get to know eachother, maybe…" she left the thought unspoken.  A genuine smile was on Ryan's face now.
     "As tempting as that is," he began, "and believe me, it is tempting, I really can't.  I'm a married man.  The wife would kill me."
     "Oh," Andrea said, disappointed.  "Lucky wife," she added.  She was sincere when she said it.  Ryan, still smiling, turned and walked back to the table. 
     Back at the bar, Brad and Drew were both sitting with their face in their hands.  Completely defeated, they slid off their respective barstools and trudged back to the table.  When they sat down they proceeded to stare at Ryan, who was leaning back in his chair, his legs stretched out under the table again.  He was running his hand through his hair.
     "I hate you," Drew said to him.  Ryan laughed.
     "I gotcha both," said Ryan.  He took a sip of his beer.
     "How…?"  was all Brad managed to say.
     "It's all in the delivery, boys, all in the delivery," Ryan said, sounding smug.
     "Curses!"  said Drew.  "Foiled by the tall, lanky bastard!"
     "Cry me a river," Ryan shot back.  Drew chuckled as he grabbed his beer for a sip.
     "Nice goin', Ry," he said sincerely.  "Hey, who'd everyone pick?"  Everyone flipped over their napkins but Colin.  There were two Drews and two Brads. 
     "Well, that seriously bites," said Greg.  "Nobody wins that one."  Greg began to reach for his hundred dollar bill.
     "Hold it, Proops!" Colin spoke up.  Greg stopped and looked at Colin questioningly.  Colin reached and flipped his napkin over.  The name "Ryan" could be plainly seen.  Greg's mouth dropped open.
     "You bitch!" he yelled at Colin.  "You set us up!  She knew all along what was going on!"
     "No," said Colin.  "She didn't.  She was just an innocent bystander."
     "But then how…I mean…how did you know?" Greg was perplexed.
     "I'm a good guesser," Colin said as he scooped up the five-hundred dollars from the middle of the table.  He counted out two-hundred and fifty and handed it to Ryan.  "There you are, my friend.  Thank you."
     "My pleasure!"  Ryan said as he stuffed the money into his shirt pocket.  Greg, Drew and Brad were all shaking their heads.
     "Total set up," Brad murmured.   He drank what was left of his beer and set the mug down.  "Total set up," he said again.
     "It was all part of the game," Ryan said.  Colin laughed and finished up his beer as well.
     "Well, since you're both a little richer tonight," Greg said, "how 'bout you buy the next round."
     "I'll second that," Drew said, holding up his empty mug.  Colin looked at Ryan.
     "I suppose it's only fair," Ryan said. 
     "Yeah, and no more mind reading tonight, ok?"  Greg said, looking from Colin to Ryan.
     "No more mind reading," Colin said.  He looked back at Ryan and they both started laughing.
     "What did I just say?" Greg said, exasperated.  Colin and Ryan just chuckled.