"Brad, please call me back. Even if you still feel the same
way...I *need* to hear
your voice..." A beep followed as Greg's voice played on
Brad's answering
machine.
Brad stared into the almost empty carton of mint-chocolate ice
cream, the tiny
tears sliding down his cheek and lingering on his chin. With a
heavy sigh he looked
to the silent Colin. "Why does it hurt so much?" he bit
into his lip and pushed aside
the ice cream. "It hurts to hear his voice...I miss him
Colin..."
"I know Brad." Colin draped his arm over the man,
"If you want to, you *can*
take him back."
"No." Brad shook his head, "I can't...not after
him cheating like that."
"Brad." Colin sighed heavily, "Not to disillusion
you or anything, but that happens
in relationships! No couple is perfect. Lovers stray, fights
happen; cheating...it
happens to everyone. But, if they come back and stay true...you
know it is still
worth a try."
"So you've cheated on Ryan?" Brad turned to his friend.
"Honestly, yes. And no, he doesn't know about all of
it." Colin replied. "And he's
cheated on me, and I'm sure he hasn't told me everything. In the
end, pardon
the pun, it always came down to us."
"Yeah, but you guys have been together forever, and
Greg..." Brad cut off his
own words.
After a pause, Colin spoke up, "What's your real problem
here Brad? Really,
what's going on with you? I know it can't be all about
Greg."
"I don't see what you mean..." Brad was only acting
puzzled; he was almost
certain what Colin meant.
"Yes, you do. Why does this bother you so much?" Colin
was sincere.
"I...I..." Brad stammered, then let it out, "It
all started because he's done so much.
I mean, I've never done anything...he was the first man I was
ever with, and
would have probably been the last. Still, I wonder what things
would be like if I
had previous experience."
Colin decided now was as good a time as any to drop the bomb
question, "Do
you really love him?"
"What kind of stupid question is that? Of course I love
him!" Brad stood, taking
on a defense.
"Be honest Brad, did you ever really love him? Or were you
just in love with the
thought of being in love?" Colin sighed, "I mean, he
was the first person to say he
loves you...it's easy to think it was really love."
"I am being honest. I did love him...I still do." Brad
was scared of the new thoughts...
maybe he didn't love Greg.
"Then why are you letting something as small as an
incident...while Greg was drunk
nonetheless...tear you apart?" Colin tried to be the voice
of reason.
Brad felt the tears coming on, then let it all spill out,
"Because I don't know! I don't
know what love *is* Colin! I know I felt very deeply for Greg and
when I saw him
on his knees confessing to me...a part of me died. Then, on the
way back I felt like
I was reborn."
"Reborn?" Colin raised an eyebrow.
"Yes." Brad was almost shouting now, "When I fell
asleep in your arms I felt like
a new man...you...you made me feel more whole than Greg ever
did." Brad was
on a roll, "And when...before I knew for sure that he was
cheating...I almost
went through with it. What does that say about me?"
"It says you're very confused Brad..." Colin stood up
and took Brad's hands, "It
says that you need some time away...away from Greg, time to
explore and find
yourself."
Brad nodded, wiping away the budding tears, "Maybe...maybe
you're right..."
"So Greg may not be the one for you, there's a whole world
out there..." Colin
smiled, then heard the slight sound of a car door closing.
"That's probably Ryan." Brad sighed, "You should
go."
"Come with us." Colin smiled.
"Are you sure?" Brad's eyes were red with tears and
green dots of ice cream
stained his white t-shirt.
Colin nodded, "We can always use a tag along."
"Thanks." Brad went to change his shirt, then went to
wherever Ryan and Colin
would lead him.
*
* *
* *
Greg sighed as he woke. The world was a blur...the last thing he
remembered
was Brad saying it was over, then the bender. He wasn't sure who
he'd ended
up in bed with...but the weight on the other side of the mattress
led him to
believe it was somebody.
Shaking, Greg slid out of bed and made his way to the balcony,
throwing on his
robe as he went. After opening the curtains to step out, he
decided the warm
California air wasn't worth the blinding sun.
"Hey Greg." A voice came out of the bedroom, "Have
you seen my pants?"
Greg groaned and tried to identify the voice, before he could
bring it up, the
person in question walked into the dimly lit living room. He saw
bare feet, thin
pale legs, briefs, a longish slightly muscular chest. Damn. Of
all people...
"I can't find my pants." Chip grinned. "Where did
they end up?"
Greg groaned in reply. It just *had* to be someone from the
show...someone
they saw on a semi-regular basis.
"I remember being in the car, then we were in the living
room..." Chip began to
relive the previous night, then ducked in front of the couch and
pulled on his
discarded jeans, "Found 'em."
Greg rubbed his eyes, "What happened?"
Chip laughed, "Good one." He made his way back to the
bedroom, then called
back, "So, you're sure Brad won't mind that we messed
around? I mean, I
know you said you two have an open relationship...but I'm a
little concerned."
The memories of the night before came back to Greg, slightly
hazy...but there.
He remembered seeing Chip at the bar, then drinking a couple
beers...then
driving back...that's where things got hazy. "I...uh...I
don't think we should tell
anyone this happened."
Chip came back into the living room and sat on the couch, putting
his shoes on,
"Well duh! That's the point of an affair...isn't it?"
He laughed, then went to where
Greg still stood, dazed, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"I'll see you at the
meeting in a week...don't worry, I won't tell."
Greg watched as Chip left, still slightly puzzled. Then, still
confused, he pushed
the button on his answering machine to get rid of the flashing
light.
"Hey Greg, it's me. I'm just calling to tell you that it's
over. I can't keep up with it
anymore." Greg wrinkled his brow; it was Brad's voice.
"I'm sick of the serious
relationship, sorry. Maybe someday when I'm ready to settle down.
I'll see you
at the meeting. Bye."
"It's really over..." Greg sank into the couch.
"He's gone..."
*****
END
*****