by Heather
Ryan Stiles was in a good mood. He
felt light on his feet, for once his back wasn’t hurting, and he was going to
see his best friend today. After over a month apart, Ryan had to admit he
missed Colin, and talking on the phone just wasn’t good enough. But it was time
for another few weeks of taping ‘Whose Line,’ and they would get to work
together, sharing laughter and that almost psychic bond once again. Ryan
grinned as he parked his car at Raleigh Studios and almost skipped toward the
main production building before he caught himself.
Come on, you’re an adult; quit being
so silly.
Oh, well. At least he was a
professional actor. It wouldn’t do for the rest of the cast to suspect that he
and Colin were more than friends. They were, of course, and had been for years, but so far, no one had guessed their secret. Ryan was
proud of that; it was hard to have secrets as a celebrity, especially one that
involved a gay relationship.
Feeling smug and happy, Ryan walked
down the hall and towards the Green Room. Most of the cast would already be
there, and he felt almost giddy at the prospect of greeting his friend and
lover with their customary hug.
“Hey, guys!” Ryan called as he entered
the Green Room. Drew, Greg, Brad and Dan Patterson were already there, along
with Laura Hall and some people from wardrobe. His greeting was returned, but
Ryan noticed that his fellow performers were looking at him somewhat oddly.
Shrugging it off, he leaned against the wall by the door and smiled to himself.
He would wait until Colin arrived so they could sit together. It was so routine that he never really thought about how it would
look.
“So,” Ryan asked casually, “Is Colin
here yet?”
His friends looked at each other, and
as one, burst into laughter.
“What? Hey . . . come on, what is it?”
Ryan looked down at himself, wondering if his fly was unzipped or something.
“See? I told you, didn’t I?” Greg
Proops asked, shaking his head. “It’s always the same. Whichever one of the
‘wonder twins’ gets here first stands by the door and asks for the other one.
They hug, and then sit down together. You could set you watch by them.”
Ryan felt himself getting flustered. What
the hell? Maybe we aren’t so discreet if everyone seems to know our little
tricks.
“I’ve got to hand it to you, Greg,”
Drew said. “You sure called that one. I guess I never really noticed it till
now, but they do always wait for each other.” Grinning, Drew looked at Ryan and
patted the chair next to him. “Hey, Ryan, have a seat. Or are you waiting for
someone?”
The question was both sarcastic and
falsely innocent, and Ryan bit back a scathing retort as he tried to look
unconcerned. After all, it wasn’t that big a deal. Sure, he had been really
looking forward to holding Colin again. And, yeah, he loved to squeeze onto the
small couch with his best friend, touching at every opportunity and just
generally enjoying the closeness. But, he was an adult; he could wait.
Ryan tried not to look as disappointed
as he was, and calmly walked over to the chair Drew had indicated. Dropping
into it, he said, “No, I’m not waiting for anyone. I just wondered if
Drew, Brad and Greg
all looked at each other knowingly and in sarcastic unison said, “Riiiiiiight.”
Ryan rolled his eyes
and turned to Dan Patterson, changing the subject by getting into a producer’s
discussion. He felt somehow cheated out of the comfort of being with Colin
again, but tried to concentrate on his conversation with Dan and not his
impatience to be alone with his lover.
He’ll be here soon,
Stiles, so quit acting like a baby. You can bet
* * * * *
At that moment, Colin was feeling
beyond “out of sorts.” He was, in fact, taking deep breaths and blinking
rapidly in yet another struggle not to cry. The last several hours had been
hell, and only the promise of seeing Ryan was holding him together. His mind
flashed back on what had happened earlier that day, just before his flight . .
. the angry words, the bitter accusations, the sheer helplessness . . . Colin
shook his head and tried to push the thoughts from his mind, but once again,
they refused to go.
He’d had fights with his wife before,
of course, but this was by far the worst one ever. Normally he would have
called Ryan right away, but there wasn’t time before he had to leave for the
airport; he barely made the flight in time as it was. All through the 5 hour
trip from
When Colin felt as together as he was
going to get, he stepped out of his car and walked toward the studio. Head
down, lost in thought, he was almost running by the time he reached the
building.
Come on, cool it. You can’t just rush
in there and jump on Ryan. If the others find out about us .
. .
But that thought led nowhere good, and
Colin thought instead of Ryan’s green eyes, his strong hands, and that deep,
sensual voice. As always, thinking of his lover brought a measure of peace to
Colin’s troubled mind and some of the tightness in his chest eased.
As he walked down the hallway, Colin
could see nothing beyond his reunion with Ryan. All of his plans, his emotions
. . . everything ended at that moment. Once they were together again, Ryan
would take care of everything—he always did. Taking one last calming breath,
Colin opened the door to the Green Room and quickly looked to either side,
expecting to see Ryan waiting by the door as usual, and was startled by the
laughter his action provoked.
“Looking for someone?” Greg called out
in his slightly nasal voice. For the first time, Colin actually looked over the
room, and was very confused to see Ryan in conversation with Dan Patterson and
Drew, not even looking in his direction. Ryan, sensing the sudden change in the
mood of the room, looked up to see his best friend standing in the doorway. The
puzzlement on Colin’s face changed to hurt for a moment, and then a mask of composure
slipped over his baby faced features.
“Colin! Hi, buddy!” Ryan said happily,
and leaned forward, ready to get up and pull Colin into his arms. A short laugh
from Drew and knowing looks from Greg and Brad froze him to his chair.
Dammit, why should I care what they
think? So what if they laugh at us? That’s what we get paid for, isn’t it?
But it wasn’t that simple. They just
couldn’t afford for knowledge of their affair to get out. After all, both Colin
and Ryan had wives and children to think about. If the media got hold of this,
their families would suffer for it. So Ryan stayed where he was, shooting Colin
an apologetic look.
I can make it up to him later. It’s
not really a big deal; we’ll just have to wait until after the taping.
Colin felt like he was falling. His
stomach did a lazy sort of flip, and he actually swayed slightly before pulling
himself together. Carefully keeping the calm look on his face, he returned
Ryan’s greeting with a casual, “Hey, Ryan, how’s it going?”
He was actually surprised that his
voice didn’t shake and as he sat down alone on the couch he and Ryan usually
shared, he tried to appear relaxed. Brad looked at him sympathetically and
asked how his time in
What’s happening here? Ryan is always
waiting for me by the door if he gets here first. Why is he ignoring me the one
time I really need him?
He felt silly letting such a little
thing throw him, but Colin had really been counting on the comfort of that
first welcoming hug. As he spoke to Brad and allowed the wardrobe people to
fuss over him, Colin kept shooting small glances at Ryan. Soon, their eyes met,
and Colin could see both guilt and concern on his friend’s face.
Ryan tried not to stare at him, but he
was getting more and more concerned. Colin just didn’t look right. His face was
pale, his body language was tense, and his posture fairly screamed ‘leave me
the hell alone!’. When Colin looked toward him, Ryan could
see pain and confusion in his lover’s liquid brown eyes.
What’s going on? He couldn’t be that
upset that I didn’t give him a hug, could he? There
must be something wrong.
Before Ryan had a chance to ask, it
was time to go into makeup, and then a million last minute details had to be
attended to. The next time he saw Colin, they were in their customary seats on
stage. Waiting for Dan to finish with the pick-ups, Ryan leaned over and asked,
“Are you all right,
Colin looked at him with lost eyes and
shook his head. “Not now, Ry. If I get started, I won’t be able to stop.”
Now Ryan was really worried. He had
suspected that something was wrong, but having it confirmed made him feel even
guiltier for letting peer pressure keep him from being close to Colin. His
friend obviously needed him right now, and Ryan was kicking himself for not
being there for him.
There was no time to dwell on these
issues, though, because it was time to start the show. The first few games went
all right, but Colin was slightly off. Most people wouldn’t have been able to
tell; Colin was a consummate professional and did his work despite of his
emotional turmoil. Ryan wasn’t ‘most people,’ however, and could see it easily;
the rhythm and connection the pair always seemed to have just wasn’t there
today. Ryan had resigned himself to waiting until after the taping to find out
what was wrong when Drew announced the next game—Helping Hands.
As Colin came up behind Ryan and put
his arms around the taller man, Ryan brought his own arms all the way around
Colin instead of between them like he usually did. They stood like this for a
moment as Drew explained the game and the scene, in a kind of backwards hug to
make up for the one they didn’t get earlier. Ryan could feel Colin pressing against
him, and the older man’s arms were tight around his middle. He allowed himself
a small smile, both at Colin’s closeness and at knowing that his friend could
get some comfort from this.
Colin, on the other hand, was suddenly
regretting that the game had been called. Being close to Ryan, feeling those
familiar arms around him, was bringing down his defenses and he was once again
struggling not to cry. Stop it, stop it, pull
yourself together! You’re on stage, for God’s sake!
But this time he was losing the fight.
Ryan just felt too good against him, too warm, too solid, and too real. As the
game began, Colin operated on a sort of autopilot, moving his arms and
responding to Ryan’s cues, but focusing on crying as quietly as possible. He
buried his face in Ryan’s back to muffle the sounds and tried not think about
what would happen when the game ended and he could no longer hide behind his
lover.
Ryan could feel Colin begin to shake,
and his green eyes widened as he felt Colin’s chest hitching, his breath coming
in short sobs against the back of Ryan’s neck. Oh, no, he thought, whatever
it is, it must be really bad to make Colin lose it like this. What are we going
to do? I can’t let everyone see him crying on stage . . .
“Ryan,” Colin
whispered, “do something, please. I . . . I can’t
stop.”
Ryan did the only thing he could think
of. The scene had him as a pizza chef, instructing Drew on the finer points of
pizza baking. Ryan gave Colin an extra squeeze with his arms to get his
attention and said, “Now we’ll taste the sauce. But you cannot use a spoon for
this; you must taste the sauce with your fingers to truly know if it is ready.”
Colin responded by dipping his
fingertips in the bowl of pizza sauce and bringing them to Ryan’s mouth. Ryan
carefully licked the sauce off, pulling each finger past his lips and slowly
sucking, then nibbling and flicking his tongue over the tips.
The crowd roared with laughter as Ryan
rolled his eyes in pleasure and gave an exaggerated moan. “Oh, it is divine!”
he cried in a silly Italian accent. “Would you like to try some, my student?”
Ryan asked, and Colin obediently got some more sauce on his fingers, lifting
them towards Drew.
The chubby host laughed and shook his
head, taking a step back and saying, “Nooooo, I don’t think I can put another
man’s fingers in my mouth.” The audience roared at the look on his face, but
Ryan shrugged and said “Fine; more for me.” With that, he once again licked the
sauce from Colin’s fingers, doing it as lovingly as he could.
Colin moaned under his breath as
Ryan’s skilled mouth teased his sensitive fingertips. He pressed against the
taller man’s back, unable to resist rubbing his growing erection against Ryan’s
leg. His tears forgotten in increasing arousal, it was all Colin could do just to
finish playing out the scene.
When it was over, he grabbed the towel
and removed the last bits of sauce from his hands, using that excuse to dry his
face as well. Colin leaned over to his best friend as the pair returned to
their seats and said softly “Thanks, Ry, that was a
hell of a diversion. Now I just have to deal with having a woody on national
television.”
Ryan grinned and whispered, “Well,
that’s nothing new, is it?”
That was certainly true; they tended
to make a game of teasing each other during a taping, then making explosive
love afterwards. Because of this habit, they both wore tight underwear and
loose pants to tapings so their arousal wouldn’t show.
Colin only shook his head and smiled
at Ryan, thinking how lucky he was to have him. When he saw the laughter leave
Ryan’s eyes, he knew what his friend was going to ask, and stopped him before
he could get the question out.
“Don’t ask, Ryan. If I try to talk
about it, I’ll lose it again. You just keep distracting me and we’ll get
through this taping with flying colors.”
Ryan hesitated for a second, but
finally nodded in agreement, and they were off. Their next few hours on stage
were some of the best (or worst, depending on your point of view) ever, laden
with suggestive body language, unnecessary touching and dreamy looks. The peak
came toward the end of the day with a game of ‘Let’s Make a Date.’ Greg was
choosing, as usual, and Brad, Colin, and Ryan took up their places.
Colin’s quirk was pretty standard,
‘Getting more and more drunk,’ but Ryan’s was perfect for what he wanted to do.
He leaned over and showed his quirk to Colin, who couldn’t suppress a grin as
he read, ‘Sleeping man who wakes up and falls in love with the first person he
sees.’
As the game began and Brad went into
an impression of somebody, Colin slouched on his stool, affecting a silly grin.
It wasn’t hard to do; he was feeling very loose and giggly at that point from
all of Ryan’s teasing and excitement began to build inside him as he wondered
just how far Ryan would take his quirk.
“So, bachelor number two, it’s Saturday night. Where are you taking me?” Greg asked in
his flirty bachelorette voice.
“Well, we’d start by going out for a
few drinks,” Colin replied, slurring his voice slightly and allowing a goofy
grin to cross his features. He slurred a little more he continued, “And maybe
after that we would . . . ummm . . . go for a few
more drinks!”
Colin let out a giggle and ran his
hands over his face in a scrubbing motion. He loved playing the drunk; it made
him lose his inhibitions almost as much as really being drunk.
“Oooookay
then,” Greg said, rolling his eyes. “So, number three, describe your perfect
mate to me.”
Ryan, who had been sitting with his
head down and his eyes closed, suddenly started awake and yawned. Rubbing his
eyes, he said, “My perfect mate . . . well, let’s see . . ..”
At that moment he opened his eyes—and
looked right at Colin. He froze and let his true feelings show on his face as
he stared into Colin’s sleepy eyes.
“Ohhhh, my
perfect mate would have big brown puppy dog eyes . . . a shy little smile . . .
a sweet nature, and be very funny.” The crowd cheered and there was a long
round of “Awwwwwww.”
Greg looked at Ryan oddly before
continuing to question Brad. During that interchange Colin and Ryan just stared
at each other, getting deeper and deeper into their roles.
“Right, well, number two, what do you
like to do to relax?” Greg asked, after shaking his head and laughing at Ryan
and Colin staring at each other like a couple of lovesick teenagers.
Colin was by now acting—and
feeling—very drunk. The emotional roller coaster of the past several hours
combined with Ryan’s sensual teasing and his own role as a drunk had lowered
his inhibitions to a great degree. His whole body felt loose and sort of numb,
except for his neck where Ryan was now lightly tracing his fingertips. Colin
answered with complete honesty when he said, “I don’t need to do anything to
relax, because right now I am so relaxed I feel like I’m about to fall of this
chair and into Ryan’s lap.”
The audience cracked up when Colin
suited words to action and ‘passed out,’ letting his lover catch him. Ryan, of
course, proceeded to cuddle his friend close and slowly stroke his back.
Greg, Brad, and Drew watched all this
with increasing disbelief. Ryan and Colin had done crazy things for the show
before, like the Maltese Burger kiss and the ravenous boa constrictor, but this
was above and beyond. Greg decided it was time to end this thing and quickly
asked Ryan something about his favorite color.
Ryan looked up at him with irritation
and said, “Hush! Can’t you see he’s sleeping?” Before Drew could buzz and tell
Greg to start guessing, Ryan continued. “He’s just a little sleepyhead . . . mmm . . . looks good enough to eat . . .”
Then, to the performers’ surprise and
the audience’s delight, Ryan began to kiss Colin’s neck.
This was the last
straw for Colin. All the craziness of the day caught up with him and he
completely forgot he was on stage. He forgot that it was just supposed to be a game, that they had to keep their secret, forgot everything
except for what Ryan was doing to his neck. As the taller man’s talented mouth
licked and sucked at his throat, Colin quit pretending to be unconscious and
brought his arms up around his lover, one hand clutching his back while the
other stroked his curly hair.
Ryan had years of
experience pleasuring Colin and knew just the right way to use his tongue and
teeth to drive the older man wild. He knew he was succeeding when Colin let out
an audible moan and arched his back. As the audience screamed and cheered and
the other performers looked on in shock, Ryan worked his way toward Colin’s
lips. For a single, intense moment they stared into each other’s eyes. Colin
was clearly beyond restraint and he leaned forward, lips parted, ready to be
kissed.
Ryan was close to the edge himself,
and it was only the roar of the crowd and the rather frantic buzzing from Drew
that brought him back. Pulling away from Colin’s flushed face and passionate
eyes was very hard indeed, but he did it.
“Whoops, looks like somebody got a
little too deep into their role this time,” Ryan joked, trying to get Colin to
play along.
As always, his friend seemed to read
his mind and played the part, laughing the whole thing off like it had just
been part of the act. After Greg made some half-hearted guesses, they all
returned to their seats. Drew announced the break and everyone sat back and
took a deep breath. Greg, Brad, and Drew all turned to stare at Ryan and Colin.
“Okay, so what the hell was that all
about?” Drew asked, still laughing a little. “I mean, we’re probably never
going to get that on air; you guys were practically making out!”
“Practically, my ass!”
Brad retorted. “That was nothing but neck, baby.”
Ryan and Colin laughed at the pun,
weak as it was, because they were both still feeling very giddy and would
probably laugh at anything. Looking at each other, they couldn’t seem to stop
giggling, and it was contagious. Soon the whole cast was cracking up, and when
they finally calmed down, Colin had an excuse.
“I was a little off when taping
started today. I’ve just been away too long, I guess, and I wanted to do
something crazy to get back in the swing of things.”
“Well, you certainly did do something
crazy,” Greg said, shaking his head. “I mean, man oh man, am I going have some
bad dreams tonight.”
They all laughed again, and then it
was time to finish the taping. Colin and Ryan managed to do the last few games
without anything overtly sexual, and they exchanged a look of relief when the
day’s work was finally over. After the taping there was the usual round of
autograph signing and meeting the fans, but the pair managed to slip away
fairly quickly. They went back to Ryan’s trailer, even though Colin’s was
closer. As both a performer and a producer, Ryan’s place was bigger and
something told him that they would need the space. As they stepped in together,
Ryan reached behind him and locked the door. Colin fell into his arms and they
shared a long, sweet kiss.
Sweetness soon turned to passion as
the sexual tension of the last few hours made itself
known. Colin was clearly the more desperate of the two, so Ryan quickly set
about undressing his friend. Without breaking their kiss, he unbuttoned Colin’s
shirt and slipped it off the shorter man’s shoulders. Running his long fingered
hands over Colin’s bare chest, he paused to gently rub the nipples, teasing the
sensitive buds to attention and was rewarded when Colin gasped into his mouth,
then began murmuring “Oh, Ryan, oh God, yes, don’t make me wait, Ry, I can’t
wait much longer! Please . . .”
Ryan smiled and decided not to tease
Colin anymore . . . for now. He quickly removed his own shirt while Colin
watched, rubbing a now obvious bulge in his pants.
“Why don’t you let me do that?” Ryan
asked huskily, as he undid his lover’s pants and let them drop to the floor.
Colin’s only answer was a moan as Ryan began to kiss and suckle at his neck
again while he began lightly stroking Colin’s straining hardness through his
underwear. Colin thrust helplessly at Ryan’s hands and his moans took on a
pleading tone.
Ryan, increasingly aware of his own
arousal, gave in and began kissing his way down Colin’s chest, pausing to lick
his nipples as he sank to his knees and gently mouthed Colin’s rock hard penis
through the thin material that still covered it. Looking up, Ryan was
electrified by the look on Colin’s face, the love and the desperate need all
rolled into one. Quickly removing the last piece of clothing in his way, Ryan
began licking the shaft, earning another gasp and moan from Colin. Finally, he
slipped his warm mouth over the head and began treating it with the same care
he had given Colin’s fingertips earlier that day.
Colin was beside himself with desire,
and it was all he could do to hold still and not thrust wildly into Ryan’s hot,
wet mouth.
“Ryan . . . please
. . .” was all he could get out, but his lover seemed to understand. Ryan took
him deep, all the way to the back of his throat, and began to swallow. Colin
threw his head back and buried both hands in Ryan’s golden hair, encouraging
him to go faster. The taller man complied, pulling back slightly just to quickly take him in again, running his tongue around the
sensitive head and flicking it across the tip, tasting the salty pre-cum.
“Oh, God, Ryan . . . I love you so
much . . .”
Those were the last coherent words
Colin could manage. Ryan felt his lover’s body tense and then Colin was coming
hard, thrusting carefully, making sure not to hurt him even in this extreme of
sensation. Ryan rejoiced in the sensation and eagerly took everything Colin had
to offer.
He soon got to his feet and the pair
shared a long hug, just enjoying being close again after so long apart. Colin,
always a generous lover, soon began trailing kisses down Ryan’s chest, intent
on returning the favor. Ryan let him lick at his sensitive nipples for a short
time, but his own desire was just too much and pulled Colin back up. Staring
the Canadian in the eye, he said, “I need to be in you.”
Colin smiled and led Ryan to the bed,
gently pushing him down on the mattress and pulling off the rest of his
clothes, kissing and stroking him all over as he did it. By the time Colin was
done, Ryan was whimpering with desire and looking at his friend with pleading
eyes. Colin smiled in understanding and pressed his whole body up against
Ryan’s. The full contact of skin against skin was wonderfully intimate and
Colin felt himself getting hard again. After all, it had been over a month
since they had been together, and even at their age, that was a long time to
wait.
They lay like that for a little while,
kissing and rubbing together, but Ryan couldn’t hold himself back for long. He
pulled the bottle of lube from the bedside table and Colin obligingly rolled
onto his back, smiling in lazy anticipation as Ryan coated his fingers and
gently inserted one into his friend’s body. Colin moaned at the familiar
sensation and pressed himself against Ryan’s hand, encouraging him to go
faster. He did, adding another finger and stroking Colin with his other hand,
moving both hands in rhythm. As Ryan’s fingers found the right spot inside his
friend, Colin arched his back and clenched his fists.
“Ryan, please, take
me . . .” he groaned. “I need you . . . now . . .”
Ryan was only too happy to grant his
request, and replaced his fingers with the head of his penis. He tried to go
slowly, knowing that Colin would need some time to adjust, but his lover’s
moans and almost frantic movements made Ryan thrust in quickly. Colin cried
out, and Ryan stopped, concerned. His worry was wiped away when Colin looked up
at him with passion-glazed eyes and cried, “Oh God, Ryan, do that again!”
Thrusting hard, stroking Colin in time
with his own movements, Ryan felt himself getting close. He knew that Colin was
getting close too, and leaned down to give his lover a long kiss. The light
stroking of Ryan’s tongue along his own sent Colin over the edge and he came
again, calling out Ryan’s name. Hearing his own name screamed in passion and
feeling Colin’s body clench around him was enough to finish Ryan and he seemed
to feel his heart stop as a rush of pleasure filled his body. Gasping, he fell
onto Colin and they lay there together for a while, just enjoying the
afterglow.
Now that the pressing needs of his
body had been so nicely attended to, Colin felt all his suppressed emotions
coming to bear. Everything that had happened that day: the crazy highs and
lows, the stress of keeping it all hidden . . . it all caught up to him at once
and Colin burst into tears. Ryan looked at him in alarm, and then realized he
hadn’t hurt Colin; these tears were for whatever had upset him earlier. The
taller man pulled his friend close and just held him for a while, giving the
comfort that Colin clearly needed. The tears tapered off after a while and Ryan
looked at him tenderly, stroking what remained of his hair.
“So, are you ready to talk about it?”
Ryan asked, and Colin nodded, taking a deep breath.
“Deb knows about us.”
Out of all the things that Colin could
have said, that probably ranked among the worst and Ryan felt the blood drain
from his face.
“How?” he whispered, his voice shaking
slightly. “Pat didn’t tell her, we have an arrangement . . . how did she know?”
Colin knew about Ryan’s arrangement
with his wife, naturally, and he felt a small spurt of envy. She was more
understanding than Deb, and they had told her early on in their relationship.
She had agreed to stay with Ryan for the sake of their kids, but she got to see
whomever she wanted—provided she was discreet.
Debra, on the other hand, didn’t know
about her husband’s affair with his best friend, and they had intended to keep
it that way. Deb was very homophobic, and Colin could only guess at what her
reaction would be. Well, he didn’t have to guess anymore.
“She just figured it out,” Colin
answered. “She said she had suspected for years, but one day she overheard me
talking to you on the phone, and she listened in on the extension.”
Ryan’s eyes narrowed in anger at this
invasion of their privacy, but he pushed the feeling aside for now. There was
something more going on here than Deb finding out; Colin wouldn’t fall apart
for just that.
“Okay, so what are you not telling me
here,
Colin took another shuddering breath
and looked his longtime friend in the eyes. “She left me . . . and she’s taking
Luke with her. She said she’s taking him to . . .”
Colin paused and closed his eyes,
leaning into Ryan to gather strength. “ . . . to live
with his real father.”
Ryan’s head was spinning. Colin wasn’t
Luke’s father? The implications of this were huge, but Ryan couldn’t seem to
grasp them right now. It was a little like being punched in the stomach and
trying to calculate the exact force of the blow while you were still doubled over.
“But . . . that would mean . . .”
“I know what it means, Ryan. Not only
has she been cheating on me, she’s been doing it for years. Guess I can’t blame
her; I’ve been doing the same thing after all.” Colin’s voice was bitter and
thick with resentment.
Ryan shook his head in denial and
said, “No,
“Either way I’m never going to see him
again. She’ll make sure of that. She said if I fight for custody, she'll tell
everyone about our relationship. What’s that going to do to Luke or to . . . to
Sam and Mackenzie?”
Ryan was shaken by the mention of his
own children’s names. This could affect them too, he couldn’t forget that.
“There has to be something we can do,
we can’t just let this happen!” The frustration in Ryan’s voice was countered
by the bitter resignation in Colin’s.
“There’s nothing we can do. Don’t you
think I’ve been trying to come up with something? She has us over a barrel,
using our children against us.” Colin paused, and with a rueful little laugh,
said, “Well, your children, anyway. I don’t seem to have any.”
The emptiness in Colin’s eyes was
scaring Ryan. He knew how much Colin loved his son. No wonder he had been such
a wreck all day. Pulling the shorter man close, Ryan rubbed his back and tried
to think of something comforting to say. “Deb will calm down; just give her
some time. Remember how upset Pat was when we told her? But she got used to it
and so will Deb.”
Colin looked up at him, hope showing
in his liquid brown eyes. “You really think so? I don’t know if I could handle
never seeing my son again . . . ”
“I’m sure you won’t have to,” Ryan
said reassuringly, rocking Colin back and forth. “Deb loves Luke, and she knows
he’ll miss you. She’ll let you see him for his sake, if not for yours.”
“Yeah . . . that makes sense . . .
maybe you’re right. At least, I hope you are.”
“I am, don’t worry about it. And in
the meantime . . . have you given any thought to where you’re going to live now?”
A mischievous light danced in Ryan’s green eyes as he asked.
Colin grinned at his friend and
thought, Trust Ryan to find the silver lining in all of this. Now we can
spend more time together. After all, I’m
always staying with him when I’m in town for a taping, so it won’t arouse any
suspicion...but it might arouse something else. “So, when can I move in?” Colin asked,
humor dancing in his dark eyes.
Laughing, Ryan
pulled his lover down onto the bed and began kissing all over Colin’s face.
Between kisses, he said, “The . . . sooner . . . the . . . better!”
* * *
Finis