Crush
by
Jessica H.
You
know everything that I'm afraid of
You do everything I wish I did
Everybody wants you, everybody loves you...
***************************************
Ryan Stiles jogged up to me. "Hey
"Sure thing." I followed him to the stage,
not taking my eyes off of his hair. That's what always got me. His gorgeous blond locks, not to mention his beautiful, piercing
green eyes. The way he smiled when he heard good news, the way his nose
kind of scrunched up when he laughed, the way he would always look in your eyes
when speaking to you...it all enticed me, made me want him more each day.
We were the best of friends, had been for over 20 years now. Every time he
kissed me onstage, I could barely stand it. Having Deb and Luke walk out of my
life when they found out made me want to shoot myself. The only thing that kept
me from extreme depression was the slight chance. The one in a million chance that he would feel the same.
****************************************
I know I should tell you how I feel
I wish everyone would disappear
Every time time you call me, I'm too scared to be me
And I'm too shy to say
Ooh, I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you
A crush on you
****************************************
I thought back to a phone conversation we had had just last night. He noticed
that I wasn't acting like myself, and he called me on it. I told him it was
nothing, and luckily he believed me.
Every time we were alone, I just wanted to grab him and kiss him. But I knew
not to. I knew...I knew better.
The feeling in my heart when he looked at me was indescribable. If you took the
feeling you got from being in love, mixed it with the feeling of a newfound
crush, and added a heaping of sexual attraction, it still wouldn't equal
everything.
****************************************
You know, I'm the one that you can talk to
And sometimes you tell me things that I don't want to know
I just want to hold you
And you say exactly how you feel about her
And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way
***************************************
He was completely in love with Pat. He wouldn't risk anything for that. I had
to face facts. I was in love with someone that I couldn't have. I was in love
with someone who would never love me back, not in that way. He thought of me as
his compadre, his best bud, the one he could come to
with problems.
***************************************
Ooh, I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Ooh, I've got a crush on you
A crush on you
Ooh, I wish I could tell somebody
But there's no one to talk to, nobody knows
I've got a crush on you
A crush on you, I got a crush
You say everything that no one says
But I feel everything that you're afraid to feel
I will always want you, I will always love you
I've got a crush...
***************************************
Of course none of the others knew. Debra, Luke, and myself
were the only ones. I hoped to keep it that way, until...until that one day
when I might be able to tell him. When I just might be able to work up the
courage to say, "I love you" and not mean it in the way we always
said. I was tired of just being a brotherly friend to him. I wanted more...the
only problem was that he might not want as much as I did.
"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you too." I shrugged my shoulders, and looked at him with a
puzzled look in my face.
"I mean...I'm in love with you,
My jaw dropped to the floor, and my eyes bulged. "I knew I shouldn't have
done this, it was all wrong..." Ryan started walking out.
I put my hand on his shoulder. He turned around to look at me, and I kissed him
softly.
"Colin...I..." I silenced him with another kiss.
"I'm in love with you, too."
"I don't think I ever would have guessed, my friend, that you had a crush
on me."
Our lips came together in a passionate kiss, sealing our relationship...one
that lasted for the rest of our lives.
THE END
[Lyrics by Mandy Moore]