Colin awoke to the familiar feeling of the empty bed. Ryan had
always been an early
riser, but this morning things felt particularly empty. After
sniffing the air for the usual
Columbian roast Ryan was prone to making, he found only their
mingled scent of the
previous night's lovemaking in the sheets.
Over the last year, things had been tense between all of them.
Ryan's wife was
threatening with divorce, but Ryan didn't want to let her go.
Slowly, they'd become
more estranged until he didn't even know if Ryan even loved him
anymore. Some
mornings it felt so empty, but this morning was worse. Not
shocked or even surprised
at his leaving, Colin went to the short task of packing what was
left of Ryan's things in
his house.
The love they shared had never been enough to make something
permanent, he now
knew this. It had always been about Ryan...even in the beginning.
It was only a matter
of time before things fell apart.
It even felt good to a degree to finally have it all over with.
Ryan was gone, and it hurt
deep inside...but it was time to say goodbye.
He watched the pensive glace of his next door neighbor as he
calmly set the twin
suitcases on the porch.
When he saw Ryan's car pull up, he'd been confused, then even
more so when Ryan
seemed shocked to see the suitcases and pounded on the door.
"Colin? Colin??" Ryan's voice was both angry and
confused.
Slowly, Colin opened the door, his eyes deep with understanding.
"I know, we're
through. I thought I'd make it easy."
"What?" Ryan felt his voice choke as Colin pushed him
the bags.
"You left for good this time, I see. I suppose the wifey
can't be ignored." Colin tried to
be angry, but just couldn't with the crystalline tears surfacing
in Ryan's eyes.
"What are you talking about?"
"I woke up to an empty bed for the last time, Ryan. I can't
take this anymore."
"I...didn't you get my note?" Ryan pushed through Colin
and into the kitchen where
he'd taped his note to the fridge.
"Note?" Colin followed, confused.
"Yes." Ryan peeled off the short note and handed it to
his lover.
Colin felt his stomach lurch as he read the note.
--Sweetie,
Went to the store to pick up
some groceries and
smokes, be back in half an hour.
--Ry
He felt like a big mouth bass as his jaw opened and closed with
no words filtering out.
"The groceries are in the car." Ryan didn't know what
to say.
Obviously, some talking about this situation was in order.
*****
END
*****
We made love last night
Wasn't good wasn't bad
Intimate strangers made me kinda sad
Now when I woke up this morning
Coffee wasn't on
It slowly dawned on me that my baby is gone
My baby's gone
Guess I shouldn't be so shocked
I guess I shouldn't be so surprised
Guess I sorta noticed the sadness in your eyes
All this time together
And I still feel so alone
Two of us together couldn't make this house a home
My baby's gone
My baby's gone
Oh so long
Um maybe I'm a little bit relieved
Maybe even a little bit glad
Now that you're gone maybe I won't feel so sad
So I'm packing your things and
Leaving them outside and
Neighbours can talk themselves up into a storm I'll
survive
My baby's gone
My baby's gone
Oh ... so long
Did you forget something my love
I see you're back outside
Looking at your suitcases looking oh so surprised
Hain't it funny
One of life's little jokes
Thought you'd gone for good
But you'd only gone ... for smokes