Heal The Pain: D-I-V-O-R-C-E
by Taylor Jameson

Greg sighed half-heartedly and swirled what little bourbon remained in the heavy tumbler. The penetrating
silence burned thoughts into his brain.

She'd been gone almost three days, just up and walked out. His wife had sent the divorce papers and told him
she couldn't stand being with an unstable man.

"Unstable." Greg scoffed once more as he reread the papers in the dim light of one table lamp. He heard
the faint buzz of his cell phone on the table and tore himself away from the pity party to answer. "Greg Proops."

"Hey, where are you? It's like 10:30." Ryan's familiar voice was muffled by rather loud music in the
background.

"I'm...home?" Greg was confused, "Did I miss...something?"

"Yeah, Drew's party! I can't believe you forgot..."

"That's tonight?"

"Yeah, it's just getting to be a blast. Gonna show?"

"Shit, Ryan. I can't believe I forgot about that either." Greg downed the rest of his drink and rubbed
the bridge of his nose. "I suppose I'll be there in a few to make an appearance."

"Better late than never, eh?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

There was a long pause, then Ryan added, "Are you okay, buddy? You don't sound too great."

"Fine." Greg responded dryly. "See you in about half an hour." Greg turned off the phone before Ryan could
reply, then went about the task of making himself look presentable.

* * *

Brad handed Ryan a fresh mug of beer as he put down his cell. "So, is he going to show up?"

"Yeah." Ryan took a refreshing gulp, "He said he forgot...which isn't really like him, but he'll be
here soon."

"Come to think about it, I haven't seen him in like a week...maybe he's sick or something."

"Movie time!" Colin burst into the kitchen.

Ryan groaned, downing his beer and going for another. Drew was showing home movies...thankfully, Colin
volunteered to be a designated driver.

* * *

Greg stood outside the door after greeting the others in his head. He had to be ready for the onslaught. In
fact, a party was the last place he wanted to be, but he was always one to keep his commitments.

"Hey, how's it going? We were just getting ready to start up the movies." Wayne greeted Greg with a hug
and slammed the door shut behind them.

"Yeah, well, you know me. Casually late." Greg hung up his own coat and wandered to where Ryan, Colin and
Brad milled around gossiping. He was grateful when Drew joined them with a new round of brews.

* * *

"...And then the frog says 'I thought you were a *princess*!" Ryan cracked up as he finished the joke.

Quite inebriated and stumbling, Greg slung his arm around the equally drunk Brad's shoulders.
"I...sh...should...call...cab?" his words slurred and he broke into a series of giggles.

"No man, come home with me!" Ryan was talking far too loudly to be sober, "Let's stay up and have a slumber
party!"

"Can we, mom?" Brad snickered, his vision blurring slightly as he looked to Colin.

"Come on, everyone in the car." Colin sighed as the trio managed to stagger arm in arm to the big SUV.

"Thanks, ma!" Greg laughed as he piled into the back with Brad and Ryan.

* * *

Colin pulled the SUV into the garage and roused the sleeping crew, "Come on, inside...we're here..."

Ryan groaned and let Colin lead him to be tucked into bed, while Greg and Brad collapsed on the couch.

Blinking and trying to wet his mouth, Greg looked like he was about to pass out. "Wanna nother drink?"
He smiled rather drunkenly and staggered back to his feet.

Brad nodded, feeling slightly nauseous as his head bounced. "Yup." He smirked; stopping the nodding and
watching the world come back into focus. "Got it?"

"Huh?" Greg stumbled over the carpet as he brought a bottle of red wine and two glasses from the kitchen.

"How sweet..." Brad mocked feminine embarrassment as Greg set down the collection.

"Watch this." Greg let out a guffawing laugh as he tried to pour the wine and spilled it over his glass
and onto the table. "Flawless!"

Colin smiled as he tiptoed into the living room and turned off the lights. The sun was just coming up and
the pair had fallen asleep pressed against each other on the floor in front of the couch. After staring at
the rumbled, passed out men, he cleaned up their wine glasses and mostly empty bottle.

Then, inspired as he went to go back to bed, he draped a large blanket over them. "Goodnight."

* * *

Greg groaned, squeezing his eyes closed even tighter as he rolled onto his back. He tried to remember where
he was as he felt an arm draped across his chest and a warm body pressed to his side, but couldn't remember
much after breaking out a bottle of wine to share with Brad.

"Good morning, sunshine." Colin's familiar voice came from the sliding glass door.

"Col?" Greg opened one bleary eye and saw Colin coming towards him.

"Coffee?"

Greg nodded and rubbed his eyes. "Brad?"

"He's a heavy sleeper."

"Oh." Groaning again, Greg moved Brad's arm and managed to push himself up with the aid of the coffee
table. "What time is it?"

Colin smiled as he watched Greg stumble towards him. "Just after noon."

"Shit." Greg rubbed his eyes again and accepted a cup of java.

"I already called your place and left a message to let the little woman know you're okay." Colin led Greg
out to the balcony.

Shielding his eyes against the impossibly bright sun, Greg fished a cigarette out of the pack Ryan had left
out. "She doesn't care."

"Oh." Colin raised an eyebrow and knew from the way Greg had drank the night before, something was wrong.
"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Greg drew in deep and once more praised the nicotine gods.

Colin nodded to himself. Greg had never really been into talking about problems. "I'll go make some lunch.
Ryan should be up soon."

Greg turned to his friend and smiled slightly. "Thanks, Col."

* * *

"Lunch is ready..."

Brad stretched, only half hearing quiet conversation near by. "Mmm?"

"You up?" Greg's voice was soft, but nearby.

"Yeah." Brad swallowed and slowly opened his eyes to see Greg half kneeling over his legs. "Hello..."

Greg smirked at the innuendo in Brad's voice. "I'm just looking for my cell phone."

Brad groaned and felt a hard piece pressed into his side. "I think I'm laying on it..." he reached and
removed the object, then handed it to Greg.

"Gracias..." Greg stood up, then helped Brad to his feet. "Colin made some food, hungry?"

* * *

Greg relaxed on his couch and downed a pair of aspirin with some alka-seltzer. It was almost three
and the hangover headache was still tagging along.

He had to admit, the impromptu binge drinking had made him feel a little better. And, it helped him
forget about the newly signed divorce papers he'd put in the mail.

It had been a while since he drank so much he lost an entire night of memories. Smiling, he remembered what
happened the last time he'd gotten that drunk...he woke up next to an Asian stripper that spoke no English. One of

many strikes to his supposed instability.

Avoiding the alarmingly comfortable thought that something happened with Brad the previous night, he
went to set an appointment to see his chiropractor. He was definitely too old to be sleeping on the floor.

* * *

Brad sipped his coffee and swallowed another dose of Tylenol. "So, do either of you remember last night?"

Colin smiled and chuckled good-naturedly. "You and Greg managed to finish off a bottle of wine, then
zonked out." He shrugged, "As far as I know. I spent most of the night with Mr. Grabby hands." He elbowed
Ryan gently.

"I can't help it, I get inspired when I drink." Ryan tried to defend himself.

"I remember Greg tried to impress me by pouring the wine, then spilled some." He laughed, remembering
further, "Then I offered to clean it up and ended up licking it off the table."

"Ooo..." Colin shook his head, "that *isn't* suggestive."

Brad shook his head again, "I was pretty drunk already, moving into the horny stage. But I don't
think anything happened."

"He seemed pretty upset when he woke up, I think there may be something wrong with his marriage."

"Really?" Ryan wrinkled his brow. "I know they've had a few fights lately, but he hasn't said anything about it."

"He wouldn't. You know what he's like..." Brad added.

Heal The Pain: Coffee Talk

Weeks passed and became months, with work leading Greg through his life it was easy to let six months go
by while still feeling the emptiness and pain.

The holidays were wreaking havoc on shoppers and starlets alike, and it became clear that Greg was
isolating himself from those that mattered most, his friends.

He hadn't outright told anyone about the divorce, but he knew they'd all caught on. But nobody really made a
fuss over it.

* * *

"Greg Proops?" He was backstage having his daily makeup taken off when the phone rang.

"I know you'd still be around." Brad's familiar voice mocked over the line.

"What are you up to, Monkeybutt?"

"Not much, just thought I'd give you a call. Haven't heard from you in a while."

Yeah, well, you know how it is doing two shows...oh wait, you don't..."

"Bitch." Brad was laughing, so probably not as mad as the word suggested.

"*Anyway*, what are things like in your little world?"

"Well, if you aren't too busy, I got a couple passes to opening night at new coffee place and thought you
might like to come with me."

Greg thought about it a moment. He had no real commitments, but it had been a while since he'd been
out with just one other person. In fact, he was only recently going out in groups.

"You don't have to if you aren't feeling up to it...but I thought it'd be a good time..."

Greg smiled to himself and broke his silence. "Sure, I'll go. Where is it?"

"I can swing by your place and pick you up. It doesn't get underway until about 10 o'clock."

"Sure." Greg smiled at himself in the mirror. "Do you remember how to get there?"

"I couldn't forget." Brad laughed. "See you tonight, Greg."

"Later, Brad."

* * *

"Bradley, don't go getting any ideas about tonight..." Colin shook his head as Brad worked on his
hair in the bathroom. "Greg is still reeling from the divorce...he still wears the ring...he's probably in
denial..."

"Don't do this, Col." Brad stepped out, looking sharp as he finished combing his sideburns. "I told you, I'm
not going to make a move on him. I just wanted to have a good time and I know how much he needs it."

"I don't want you taking advantage of him...or worse yet, getting your heart broken. He's almost definitely
not ready for a relationship."

"Well, I'll just see what happens, okay? If the signs are there, I'll hit on him...if not, I'm sure we'll
both have fun." Brad slipped the small comb into his back pocket. "Besides, this was your idea."

"Oh, no. Don't even put this on me. I just told you that he's had relationships with men in the past, Ryan
included. I told you he could use companionship, not anything more..."

"Well, I could use some companionship too. I've been single for almost a year. *But* this is not about
hooking up. Just having fun."

"Keep it that way." Colin took Brad by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. "It hurts right after a
divorce, okay. Greg's the kind of person that keeps everything bottled up inside...so he's got a lot of
pain just hanging out in there. Just take it easy, okay? I don't mind if you want to try going out a
couple times, but don't do anything that could hurt either of you."

"Yes, *MOTHER*." Brad shook his head. He understood what Colin was saying, and even why he was

saying it, but didn't think he needed a lecture on it.

Colin sighed. "Want to go get some dinner with me and Ryan? I have to pick him up from the script reading."

* * *

Greg held a throw pillow tight to his chest as he skimmed through the TV stations for a distraction.

After leaving the set, he'd went for Chinese food and ended up taking an hour walk with his Rendezview
costar, Ellen, and talking about his divorce. He always felt better after talking with her.

It was true, he could now admit, that he was emotionally unstable. He had a tendency to be closed
off to everyone, then have everything come out all at once.

The drinking binges, all night writing sessions, frequent cheating, going between not working much and
working all the time...it was all in his control, and he was making himself unstable.

The only excuse he could find for his usual behavior was variety. When he felt like letting loose, he'd go
drinking. When he felt like being alone, he'd lock himself up in the bedroom and write for a couple days.
When he was drunk, or just in the mood, he's sleep with someone. When he felt like working, he'd sign to
do another show he didn't have time for. It was all just part of his life.

It became apparent to him, when it was obvious to everyone else, that something had to change. So,
instead of him changing...she changed. She couldn't stand it, and let him be. In retrospect, he felt like
it was the best for her.

After settling on another cut up version of Turner and Hooch, Greg went to the kitchen and poured himself
a glass of milk. "No alcohol." He gave himself an order, rather than a suggestion; "I want to see Bradley when I'm sober."

* * *

Brad sat outside the building, thinking about what Colin had said before. He was half an hour early. He
didn't completely know why, but he was really excited to be alone with Greg.

Admittedly, part of it was because he was interested in a possible relationship. But Colin did have a
point. The first night would have to be just hanging out. Just friends. Maybe a little flirting, but he
really had to be careful and make sure Greg wasn't going to help him make a mistake.

After checking his hair in the mirror and popping a breath mint, he decided it was time to get the night
underway.

* * *

"Come on up." Greg smiled into the phone as he buzzed Brad into the building.

He'd been caught off guard and not quite ready to go. While waiting for Brad to make it up to the top floor,
he changed his pants and brushed his teeth.

* * *

Brad smiled, slightly shocked when Greg opened the door shirtless with a toothbrush hanging out of his
mouth. "I'm sorry, I know I'm early."

Greg shrugged and retreated to the bathroom after locking the door. "It's okay." He replied between
rinsing. "I've just got to pick out a shirt to wear."

"No problem." Brad laughed nervously under his breath, still standing in the foyer.

"Make yourself at home!" Greg poked his head back into the living room on his way to the bedroom. "I'll
be right out."

"Sure." Brad nodded and walked over to the soft leather couch. The whole room reminded him of the
conservative rooms that nobody was supposed to actually live in. However, the couch turned out to be
rather comfortable.

He was about to comment that the room seemed more empty than it had the previous couple times he'd seen
it, but realized it was because all of her stuff was gone. Some things had been moved around, but the room
still seemed sparse.

Greg returned with a baby blue silk shirt tucked in and mostly buttoned. "Good?"

Brad turned and stood back up. "Yeah, I like it."

"I've been experimenting a little with adding new textures to my wardrobe." Greg smiled and fumbled with
a narrow black tie as he finished the buttons.

"Blue looks good on you." Brad smiled and compulsively smoothed out his own red button down.

"Thanks." The warm smile seemed to come as a surprise to him.

* * *

Greg raised an eyebrow as he sipped at his oversized cup of coffee. "I'm about sick of the rainforest theme
for coffee shops...I mean, how many millions of them have to have wooden parrots before the madness ends?"

Brad smiled, nodding in reply. "Yeah, I hear you on that. I usually go to shops that are cozier, homey,
you know? Fireplaces and couches. The themed places just seem too commercial."

"Exactly." Greg stirred his java idly with a thin red straw.

The house band came back on and went back to playing a set of mostly reggae with some beat poetry woven in.

"So, anyway..." Brad leaned in a little to make the conversation seem more intimate. "How have you been
doing? I haven't really had a chance to talk to you for a while."

"No kidding, the last time we really talked we were both drunk off our asses and passed out on Colin's floor."

"I wasn't going to go there, because it wasn't a very flattering thing for me to do, but since you brought it up..."

"Not flattering? The passing out drunk part or the licking the table part?"

"Oh, I thought your little licking episode was very resourceful." Greg let out a guffawing laugh.

"Yeah." Brad blushed, "Well, you know, you tried to impress me by actually being sober enough to pour, so
I thought I'd show you up by licking Colin's table."

"Was that how it happened? I was so blitzed I don't remember most of it."

"Yeah, well, that's the past I guess." Brad shrugged again. "What have you been up to since then?"

"Well, you know. Just hanging out with Ryan and Colin. Working two shows. Just kind of getting back
into the routine."

"Yeah, you look a lot better now than you did a couple weeks ago."

"I had a long talk with my therapist friend today. It really helped me put a lot of things in perspective,
you know?"

"Yeah."

"It's like, I'm an asshole, right?"

"Don't say that..."

"No, man, it's cool. I've come to terms with it. I'm a real asshole. I don't blame her for calling me
unstable."

Brad didn't really know how to respond, but had a feeling Greg was about to elaborate.

Greg sipped his coffee and decided he might as well roll with the punches and let Brad into his own
private life. "I mean, the biggest part would have to be the cheating."

"Oh." Brad nodded, his eyes getting just a little wider.

"I cheated on her more times than I can actually remember, probably. A lot of times I was drunk,
sometimes it was just there. I could have controlled myself, but chose not to." He finished his latte and
signaled for another. "I just didn't. I don't know why."

"Maybe she just wasn't right for you." Brad added, then instantly regretted it.

"It doesn't really matter now, does it? My own self destructive, relationship sabotage drove her away."

"Well, maybe you just need to be with someone that understands you."

"I don't know." Greg shrugged, then sat up and sighed. "I'm just not even ready for romance right
now, you know? It's like I want to start dating again...but I need someone that understands that I'm
just not really emotional. And when I am emotional, it kind of all comes out at once."

"I know how you feel, it's so hard to find good relationship material, though. It's like everyone in
LA wants to be married or just have sex." Brad felt his face grow a little warmer, but pressed on, "I
mean, I've been in the market for over a year now and can't even meet decent people."

"It's a sad, sick world, isn't it?" Greg smiled and thanked the waitress for his new latte.

"And it seems like I'll be alone forever." Brad added.

"Well, I guess that makes two of us."

* * *

Brad sighed as he pulled away from the building after dropping off Greg. Part of him had hoped for at least
a goodnight kiss, and maybe more than just their casual innuendos.

He was more attracted to Greg than ever, seeing him bare a little of his soul. Sober, even. Surprisingly,
it felt good to just sit there with him, talking and trying not to have an ulterior motive.

* * *

Greg turned on some soft jazz and sat heavily on the side of his bed. Slowly, he toed off each shoe and
took off his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.

Just spending a few hours in that gaudy coffee house felt like the best time he'd had in the last six
months. He'd even been comfortable enough to tell Brad some details of the divorce.

A soft laugh crept up on him, sounding so foreign in the empty room. Not really thinking, but perhaps
knowing it would happen hours before, he picked up the phone to call Brad.

* * *

"I was just thinking about calling you." Brad smiled as he let himself into his apartment.

"I just wanted to thank you for showing me a good time tonight. It's...uh, it's been a while." Greg's
voice sounded half asleep.

"It was nothing." Brad set his keys on the kitchen counter and proceeded to pour himself a quick glass of
juice. "I'm glad you came."

"Well, things haven't been the same since...the...you know. But, I know I can't just mourn forever, right?"

"I know you don't like talking about it." Brad sat comfortably on a blue recliner and curled his feet
underneath him. "But I really think you're taking things very well."

"Yeah, well thanks for saying that."

"I mean it." Brad sounded less sincere than he actually was. "You're holding up better than I would."

"Either way." Greg tried to gracefully change the subject. "I had a lot of fun, and wanted to know what
you're doing tomorrow night."

"Ooo. Are you asking me out?"

"I thought maybe you'd like to catch a movie or something, you know. Just have a good time."

Brad pushed back his urge to be a little dirty minded. "Sure, a movie sounds really nice."

"Okay. Um, I'll pick you up this time?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"Yeah."

Brad smiled to himself and traced the lines on the outside of his glass. "Yeah."

Heal the Pain: Holiday Cheer

"I think I'm going to make my move tonight at the cast party." Brad let the information go nonchalantly
as he helped Colin decorate his Christmas tree.

"What?" Colin stepped away, confused.

"I think tonight will be the night that Greg and I finally...you know, do it." Brad smiled, "We've been
going out for over a month...and I think he's ready..."

"Has it been a month already?"

"Yeah, a month last week. We're going to be apart for the holidays, though. He's going to visit family in
Phoenix."

"Oh, well that's too bad."

"Yeah, we're exchanging gifts tonight because he leaves in the morning..."

"Well, I'm glad you two have taken it slow. I think the last month has been good for you."

"I never thought I'd be comfortable with taking it slow, but it feels good to do it right."

"Yeah, well, speaking of tonight...you ready to hit the stores? I still have to get a new tie for the
party."

* * *

"Hey Ellen, getting ready to head out?" Greg caught his costar heading out of the building while he stood
outside waiting for his cab.

"Yeah, how you doing? We haven't really had a chance to talk lately."

"Great, actually." Greg smiled. "I never thought I'd be happy this soon, but that boy does weird things to
me."

"So, you're still seeing Brad, I take it?"

"Yeah. It's cool. I mean, at first I was sure we'd end up just falling into bed together, but he's been
really good about everything."

"It's nice to hear that." Ellen paused and noticed that Greg still wore his wedding band. "When do you
think you'll be ready to finally let her go?"

"I..." Greg looked down at his hands. "It's little things that get me, you know? Stuff like always
putting my ring back on after I shower...it's hard to forget."

"Oh. I'm sorry I brought it up, but I couldn't help but notice."

"No, it's okay. Part of the process, you know?"

"Well, I'll see you in a while, Greg." She turned and started to walk away. "And Merry Christmas."

"Thanks El, Merry Christmas to you too."

* * *

Brad smiled and met his boyfriend in a warm hug. "I've missed you." He ran a nimble hand under Greg's
tweed sport coat.

"Thanks." Greg smiled, burying his face in Brad's shoulder. "I missed you too."

"There you are!" Ryan came out of left field and squeezed into the hug. "Thanks for showing up, Greg. I
know you're leaving in the morning...go see family and all."

"Yeah, most of them don't really know about what happened with..." he paused and shrugged; everyone
knew what he was talking about.

Brad made puppy eyes as he pulled Greg aside into the kitchen. "Are you sure you have to go to Phoenix?"

"Braddy..." Greg pulled Brad's shoulders towards him. "You know I'd love to stay, but they have to
know...and well, it's not news I can break to them by e-mail.

Brad sighed heavily. "Okay, I understand." He ran a firm hand down Greg's blue silk tie. "I understand."

"Thank you." Greg pressed a kiss to Brad's smooth cheek. "You're so good to me."

"I can't help it." he smirked. "You bring out the worst in me."

Greg let a chuckle under his breath. "Well, it's nice to hear that..."

"We should go and mingle." Brad retreated from his urge to grab the man and bend him over the breakfast
nook, going to pull a tray of deviled eggs from the fridge to take in to Colin. "You know, just so nobody
gets suspicious."

"It's not like anyone on the face of the Earth doesn't know we're going out."

"Well, you know, it's not like I'm bending you over the breakfast nook or anything." Brad blushed slightly
and tried to win Greg over with another smile.

"Well, it's not such a bad idea..." Greg raised a wry eyebrow, causing Brad to turn away. "Well, aren't we a
shy little homo..." Greg came up behind his man and kissed him on the back of the ear.

Brad smiled to himself and felt a tingle run from his spine to his groin. "Greg..."

"I mean it." Greg whispered, letting his tongue slide along the small curve of his ear. "And you know that."

Brad arched his back, swallowing against the rough dryness in the back of his throat. "You shouldn't do
that to unsuspecting innocents."

"Innocent?" Greg let his hands slip into the back of Brad's loose fitting 501s. "I think we passed innocent
days ago."

"Boys?" Ryan popped his head into the kitchen at a rather bad moment. "Oh, sorry...was I interrupting?"

"Course not." Brad pulled away and ran off with the tray, turning twelve shades of red as his underwear
tightened considerably.

"Damn." Greg cursed under his breath. "He's gotten so damn skittish lately."

"He's fucking horny." Ryan laughed, handing Greg a fresh beer.

Greg snickered, stumbling in mock drunkenness. "Are you sure? I mean, we've been doing the sexual tension
dance for about a week."

"Oh, I'm convinced." Ryan shrugged, "Well, that's what he tells Colin anyway. I mean, he's a manslut."

"He's been talking to Col about us?" Greg raised a gossipy eyebrow, "Do tell, my dear."

"Oh, dishing now? I feel like such a Yenta." Ryan sat on one of his cushy barstools and drained the last of
his Heineken.

"Come on, bitch." Greg mocked femininity, fluttering his eyelashes behind the wire-rimmed specs. "Gimme the
goods."

Ryan tried not to crack up, "Damn it man, now you're getting me all hot."

Greg broke first, letting a thin laugh out. "Don't let Braddy know, he'll get all jealous and stuff."

"Well, you know how much of a whore he could be back before you two hooked up."

"I've heard the stories...but not slutty details."

"Well, he went through men like paper towels. I mean, he just couldn't keep a man." Ryan shrugged, taking on
a more serious tone. "You're his first serious guy in as long as I can remember."

"Geeze." Greg looked into his beer. "And let me guess, he's taking it slow because of the...you know,
thing."

"Fuck." Ryan stood up frustrated. "Okay, don't take this personally, but you can be a real asshole
sometimes, you know that? You refuse to take off the fucking wedding band, and can't even say the word!"

"Hey, chill man..." Greg stood up, backing away mentally.

"Come on Greg, I've been there, you know? I'm *DIVORCED*. Get the fuck over it, okay?"

Greg slammed his mug down on the polished bar. "It's not that fucking easy, okay! Damnit, Ryan." He turned
away, trying not to fume. "It's been less than a year, okay?"

"Say it." Ryan looked him square in the face. "I don't want to be the asshole in the room, but if
you're going to get as serious as he is...then you have to be able to take off the damn ring and admit
that you're a divorced man."

Greg swallowed his pride and shook his head. "You know, Ryan. You don't have to put it like that. You
could have just told me where he stands."

"He'd tell you if he thought you were over her. He doesn't want to be a rebound, Greg. I mean, honestly,
would you?"

"He's not my rebound." Greg tried to quell his surge of anger. "He just kind of came out of left field,
that's all. I mean, I've been bisexual most of my life, but it's always been one night stands." He shrugged,

"You know as well as I do that men just aren't into commitment..."

"Don't even start that with me." Ryan pulled away. "What about me and Colin?"

"Well, that's a fluke. It's different for the rest of us."

"Look, I'm not going to debate straight vs. gay in terms of romance with you, okay? I just wanted to tell
you *as a friend* that you need to at least talk to him about it."

* * *

"Hey you." Greg smiled at Brad as they met under the abandoned Christmas tree. The rest of the party had
moved to the rec room to kick back and watch Christmas specials, but they'd decided it was best to exchange
gifts alone.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I know my flirting can get a little out of hand sometimes." Brad pressed his head
against the warm shoulder as Greg took him in a hug.

"Oh, hell no." Greg laughed thinly. "It's all welcome, darling."

"Oh, really now?" Brad looked back up, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure." Greg shrugged, fumbling in his coat pocket. "By the way, I...uh...got you something."

"Oh, you didn't have to." Brad smiled and ushered Greg to sit with him next to the tree. "Here's yours."
He pulled a bigger square box out from the selection underneath.

"Oh, and the tension mounts..."

"I'll go first." Brad smiled, picking at the shiny green wrapping. His mouth hung open in a perfect 'O'
as he traced the thin gold chain. "You didn't..."

"I did." Greg smiled to himself, then helped Brad take it out of the box. "I know it's a little
dainty...but you're a little dainty yourself."

"It's perfect..." Brad's voice rose to a high-pitched whimper as Greg did the clasp. "I love it..."

"I figured that we've been dating for like a month now, and things are getting pretty serious." Greg
tried not to let a blush rise in his cheeks; he was far too refined to blush. "You mean a lot to me, Brad.
I want you to know that."

"Greg..."

"I mean it." Greg pulled the ring off his finger and held it up for Brad. "I don't know why I wear this.
And I'm taking it off now."

"Your wedding band...Greg...you don't have to..."

"I do have to. You're the most important thing that's happened to me in a long time." He rolled the gold
band in his hand. "She's out of my life, and I have to let her go."

Brad tried not to look at the hurt in Greg's eyes, "Greg..."

"Listen, Brad." He held the ring before his eyes. "This is meaningless now." He looked to his left at
the dying fire. "See." He chucked the band in and somehow managed to resist the urge to go fetch the
gold ring. "You're all that matters. Before you, I was a hollow shell of a man. You've changed my life in the
few short weeks we've been together and I'm forever in debt to all that is you."

Brad tried to process all the information, but didn't know what to do. He knew what was about to come.

"And I love you."

Brad turned away from the words and tried to find a way out of the conversation. It was too much, too soon
and not quite what he'd expected. "Greg...you know how I feel about the 'l' word...don't you dare say it without

meaning it..."

"I do." Greg's once spirited face had slunk down to his natural downcast appearance. "I do, I do, I do.
Damn it, Bradley, I've been thinking about it since our first date at the coffee house, and it's the only
way to justify how I feel. I love you, okay? I need you in my life." He looked away, the backpedaling all
too clear in Brad's eyes. "Shit, you don't think I've tried to think of another way? It hurts to be saying
this to you, okay? Is that what you want to hear? The last person to hear those words was my wife. My now
null and void marriage was the only thing I've done for love." He sighed deeply and fumbled in his jacket
for a cigarette. "If you don't believe me, I don't blame you. Fuck, I barely believe myself."

Brad toyed nervously with one of the red tinted glass ornaments on the tree as he drunk in the situation. As
it gently hit the white tree skirt, he knew what he had to do. "I...want you."

"What?" Greg turned his head back to the younger man.

Brad's eyes went from the orb on the floor to Greg's wire rimmed glasses. "I guess that's my way of saying
I...feel the same. Just like you can't say the word divorce, I can't say the 'l' word."

"Brad..." Greg slid forward on the plush carpeting and put his hands on Bradley's broad shoulders, "It's
okay."

Brad smiled and lowered his head onto Greg's arm as the man lovingly stroked his side burns. "Really?"

"Yeah." Greg pressed a soft kiss to Brad's temple. "Really."

Brad smiled and felt a relived giggle welling up in his chest. Inspired, he reached up and removed Greg's
specs, setting them safely aside. "I really do want you, you know that."

"I've been waiting for you to give me the go ahead."

"I'm always ready. I just didn't want to hurt you..."

Greg smiled and pulled away, then slid out of his jacket and loosened his tie. "It's been a while, but
I'm pretty sure you won't hurt me."

Brad tried not to be shy, it would take more than two hands to count the number of men he'd slept with in
the last three years, but this time was different. Greg wasn't like the other men...disposable men that really made no

difference in his life.

"Are you okay?" Greg snapped his fingers in front of Brad's face, drawing him out of thought. "Thought I
lost you there for a second."

"Just thinking." Brad shrugged, letting his hands fumble with the small buttons on Greg's shirt. "About
how you're different from all the other guys I've been with."

"Wait..." Greg's voice wavered a little as the air seemed to thicken. "We can't do this here."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Brad forced himself to pull away and tried to command his dick to stop
charging onward.

"I don't mean to break the mood." Greg smiled and went to fidget with his glasses, then realized he
wasn't wearing them. "It's just...you know. All the guys are upstairs..."

"And could burst in at any moment." Brad blushed, he'd forgotten all about them.

Greg looked to his still wrapped present from Brad. "Cool down time, I guess?"

"Yeah." Brad looked down at his hands, then fumbled with the gold chain around his neck, feeling a little
bad about not spending close to as much as Greg must have. "It's not much, but I thought you could use it."

"Ooo." Greg raised an eyebrow and retrieved his glasses, then made quick work of the paper. As he
pulled the top of the box, he was instantly smiling. "Oh, wow..."

"I remembered that vest you forced the wardrobe ladies to let you wear back in the old days." Brad
smirked as Greg held up the cow print jacket. "And thought a leather jacket with a cow print would be
fun."

"Awww. Geeze." Greg laughed and put it on. "Perfect fit even."

"Yeah, Missy in wardrobe helped me with a couple measurements."

"Where did you ever find this?"

"Oh, no where special. You know me, I'm attracted to the stranger side of fabrics."

"Come here." Greg collected Brad in a hug and kissed him deeply. "You know, I'm not normally the sporadic
type, but...uh...why don't you come with me tomorrow?"

"What?" Brad smiled, letting the question sink in a little.

"I know it's a little soon in the relationship, but you should come with me on this trip."

"Oh...I couldn't..."

"Oh, you could." Greg smirked, that evil look only briefly crossing his face. "You can fly out with me in
the morning, then be there in time to have an early dinner with the family..."

"Wow...uh...geeze..."

"Okay, I won't subject you to them, but please come! I'm rooming at a hotel, and you can go sightseeing or
shopping during the day, then just cuddle with me at night..."

Brad tried to sort everything out, Greg's words were coming at a mile a minute. "Wait. Wait. Are you
serious?"

"Yeah." Greg nodded, running a hand through Brad's gelled hair. "You said you didn't want me to go, so I
guess coming with is the next best thing...right?"

"Wow...this is a little impetuous, Greg." Brad could already hear the rabble from upstairs coming towards
them, it was gift time.

"Please?"

Brad melted; he was putty in the older man's hands. "Okay."

"You make me happy, you know that?" Greg smiled, hugging Brad once more and pressing fresh kisses to
his face. "You made me laugh when I thought the world was over."

"Awww...shucks." Brad blushed again and shrugged it off. "You're too kind."

Greg was about to keep the conversation going, but stopped when the crew started to enter and gather
round the tree. "Thanks, Brad."

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