The Meeting
by Blue and HorseMadDreamer
Colin shut
the door quietly behind him, then leaned against it, saying
nothing. It was as if he didn't want to draw our attention — impossible,
because he was the last one to arrive. When he realized that we were all
looking at him, he just offered a weary smile, but didn't move away from the
door. He was completely soaked through from the heavy rain, and shivering
besides.
Ryan had
arrived just some ten minutes before, before the storm had broken, but he still
had his jacket on. Without saying a word, he pulled it off and went to Colin,
then draped it over his shoulders. He moved behind him, and started to put his
arms around him.
"You'll get wet." Colin murmured.
"I
don't care." Ryan said almost defiantly, and wrapped his arms around him,
pulling him to his chest. Colin was still facing us, so I saw the surprised and
pleased expression that flickered across his face. But he was also exhausted,
so I also saw it when he shut his eyes, and leaned into Ryan's embrace ...
Even in
Ryan's embrace, Colin swayed, barely able to stay on his feet, fighting the
urge to collapse. Without releasing him, Ryan pushed Colin slowly forward
towards the couch. Colin's eyes opened in surprise. As soon as he was within
range, Ryan sat, pulling Colin down to sit beside him. The embrace never
slipped. Once they were settled, Ryan reached up to Colin's chin and gently
pulled his head down. Embarrassed, Colin fought the pull briefly, but
exhaustion won over pride, and he stopped fighting with a sigh as he rested his
head on Ryan's shoulder, eyes closed. They leaned against the couch back together.
Ryan kept one arm around Colin's shoulders, holding him in place. The other
hand drifted from Colin's chin to his hair, brushing the soaked strands,
smoothing them, and tucking them behind Colin's ear.
The sound of the heavy rain quickly lulled the tired man to
sleep.
When he was
certain that Colin was sleeping, Ryan looked up at us. I could see the question
clearly in his concerned green eyes. Why was the Canadian so exhausted?
"Why
don't we move the meeting to the den?" Drew spoke softly before Ryan's
silent question became oppressive. The room rustled as we picked up our
belongings, moving quietly to keep from disturbing Colin. I was about to pick
up my drink and ashtray when Ryan whispered to me.
"Greg,
help me lay Colin down on the sofa." After I slid my hand between Ryan's
shoulder and Colin's head, Ryan slipped sideways on the couch, bracing the
sleeping man to keep him from falling. When he was clear of Colin's body, we
gently laid him on the couch. The Canadian stirred and muttered but didn't
awaken. Ryan knelt and started untying a shoelace while I worked on the other
one. We had just finished putting Colin's feet on the couch when Laura walked
back into the living room.
"I
noticed that Colin was cold, so I asked Drew for some blankets." Bless
Laura Hall's maternal instincts. She was holding two couch blankets for us.
With a small smile of thanks, Ryan reached for one and placed it over Colin's
chest while I put the other one over his legs. Laying the backside of his hand
across Colin's forehead, Ryan checked his temperature, lightly brushing his
fingers down Colin's cheek when he was finished. Ryan's eyes were still
troubled.
"He'll
be all right. Don't worry." After a reassuring pat on Ryan's arm, Laura
left to return to the den. Grabbing our things, we followed more slowly after
her. As soon as we were in the hallway, I stopped and blocked Ryan's path.
"What's up wi—"
"I
don't know, Greg. I don't remember him ever just falling asleep like that
before. Not when he was sober. And he didn't feel feverish." Ryan paused
and then spoke more to himself than to me. "I
just don't know."
Drew's
meeting had been going on in the den for nearly an hour. We had gathered to
discuss the upcoming USO trip to
Ryan bolted. As soon as the rest of us could get our legs to
move, we ran to join him.
A second scream
split the air as we skidded to a halt in the living room, unconsciously forming
a protective semi-circle behind Ryan. Ryan was leaning over Colin, hands
tightly gripping the Canadian's shoulders, shaking him, and calling Colin's
name.
"Colin,
wake up! C'mon buddy, you're having a bad dream. Colin!" The sleeping man
woke with a gasp, his eyes wide with fear and clearly unaware of his
surroundings. Brown eyes met the green ones hovering above them and lit with
recognition and relief.
"Ryan!"
With no warning, Colin sat upright and threw his arms around Ryan's neck in a
strangling embrace nearly toppling him in the process. Ryan sat abruptly on the
couch edge facing the Canadian to keep from falling over. He reached out and
enfolded Colin in a protective hug. Still not fully awake, Colin clung tightly
childlike while Ryan stroked his back reassuring him that it was all a bad
dream. Slowly, Colin woke completely, his terror subsided, and he released his
stranglehold on Ryan's neck. With a sheepish expression, the Canadian tried to
pull away and restore some self-dignity, but Ryan had been too worried for too
long to let Colin out of his protection that quickly. As Colin leaned back,
Ryan's hands shifted from Colin's waist to his shoulders, but he refused to let
go of him any further.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean—" Colin began softly.
"Sorry
for what? Having a bad dream?" Ryan's scolding was gentle and loving.
"Anyone can have a nightmare, Colin. The only reason to be sorry is for
being embarrassed about it." Blushing, Colin dipped his head. With a
slight smile, Ryan reached under Colin's chin, tilted his head back up, and
leaned in for a light kiss. Breaking apart briefly, Colin's hands wrapped
around Ryan's waist, and then Ryan pulled him back closer. They kissed again —
a more melting kiss this time.
Wanting to
give the couple some privacy, I took a sudden interest in Drew's living room
décor. Everyone else seemed to have a similar idea, but no one made a move to
leave. We all cared for Colin, and there were too many unanswered questions for
us to leave now. Bored with the drapery pattern, I shifted my gaze looking for
something else to study. I found it in Jeff Davis' expression. From the not
quite hidden look of shock, I realized that Jeff didn't know about the Stiles'
and the Mochrie's non-traditional marriage
arrangements. I made a mental note to mention it to Ryan or Colin. One of them
could decide whether or not to explain their "We're in love with our wives
and each other and our wives know" situation to him later.
"There's
no reason to be sorry," Ryan broke off the kiss and repeated for emphasis,
signaling the end of their private moment. Living room décor forgotten, we
turned our attention back to the couple on the couch. Colin's blush was even
deeper than before; the two were rarely so public about their relationship even
around us. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Drew's eyes glint with mischief. I
scrambled to say something before he could make the moment more awkward.
"If I
were you, Colin, I'd have nightmares all the time. Just for
the comfort afterwards." Ryan chuckled and glanced at Colin who
smiled despite his embarrassment. Bless Laura again. Her words and tone were
the perfect balance of understanding and teasing. The mood in the room felt instantly
lighter. Ryan's chuckle grew to a full laugh with everyone, including Colin,
joining in. Giving Ryan a playful shove to get him to stand up, Colin swung his
legs off the couch, bent down to put his shoes back on, and then stood up.
The rest of
us started to drift back to the den, but Drew headed for the wingback chair
facing the couch and sat down with a purpose, eyeing Colin. Guessing what he
planned, I headed for the chair next to it although I wasn't sitting there
earlier. Drew might need supervision to keep from getting carried away. One by
one, everyone silently claimed a seat until only Ryan and Colin were left
standing. Colin looked at Ryan, almost pleading with him not to sit, but Ryan
sat back down on the couch. Sighing lightly, Colin sat to his right. With
obvious deliberation, Ryan stretched his arm along the top of the couch back
behind Colin, not touching him but within instant reach.
His message
was unmistakable. Ryan wanted answers too, but he wasn't going to let Drew or
anyone badger them out of the shy man.
"So, Colin, what's up?" Drew's too casual tone
fooled no one.
"'Up'?
I don't know what you mean." Neither did Colin's.
"You
arrive late for the meeting. You're soaking wet when you get here." Drew's
tone hardened as he continued; his worry manifested as anger. "Then you
fall asleep while sitting on my couch. I was wondering why." Ryan's
fingers twitched, but his hand didn't move.
"It's
raining, Drew. People who walk in the rain get wet." Brad snickered at the
hint of patronization in Colin's voice.
"Shut
it, Sherwood," Drew growled. Colin's attempt to lighten the mood had
backfired. Drew felt insulted, and his anger flared first to Brad then to
Colin. "Don't you think we deserve some answers? Did it occur to you that we
might be worried about you? That we might care?"
Colin's confident stage face dissolved under Drew's tirade while Ryan's face
tightened into a mask.
"Ease up, Drew." Green eyes flashed a warning
stronger than the mild sentence implied.
"'Ease
up'? All I'm doing is trying to find out what happened! Or don't you even
care?"
"What
the hell does that mean? Of course, I care!" Ryan spat. Colin's eyes
dropped to his hands in his lap at the argument. The hand on the couch back
slipped down to Colin's shoulder. Fingers tightened with every word, acting as
a steam valve for Ryan's mounting anger. "But I'm not going to force him
to tell us if he doesn't want to! No one is!"
"Please,
it's not worth arguing over," Colin pleaded for peace. But with his eyes
focused on his twisting hands, his words lacked power. "Please," he
repeated. The atmosphere in the room grew heavy with the tension.
"Colin?"
Soft and even, Laura's voice offered a safe haven from the argument. Six pairs
of relieved eyes focused on her instantly. "Colin?" she called again.
I watched as Ryan and Drew dropped their glares and looked towards her, bodies
still tense but willing to hold a truce. Pulled by her tone, Colin slowly
looked her way. "You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to."
Drew stirred but remained quiet. "But surely you understand that we're
worried about you?"
"I didn't want to bother anyone."
"I
know. But it bothers us more not to know." I watched as Laura's near
hypnotic spell worked on more than just Colin. The tension in Drew's body
drained away. Ryan loosened his grip on Colin's shoulder and started tracing
small circles with his fingertips. "Won't you tell us? Please?" Colin
seemed almost mesmerized and nodded slowly.
"Colin?"
I matched Laura's tone and waited until I had his attention. As gently as I
could, I asked the question Drew had never quite asked, "why are you so tired?" Colin sighed, closed his eyes,
took a deep breath, and then opened them.
"Do you remember in November when we talked about my
schedule, Greg?"
"Yeah. I remember saying I thought you
were way overbooked."
"You
were right. I crisscrossed
"I
could tell," Ryan joined in, still keeping the soft tone Laura and I had
set. "You called at some strange times occasionally."
"Did I bother anyone?"
"No.
Not really." Ryan reassured him and then backpedaled under his questioning
look. "Well, once and while. But not often. No
one really minded." Ryan thought for a moment and continued in confusion.
"But that's why I didn't call you this weekend, remember? You were going
to rest up at the hotel this weekend, so we agreed not to call each other."
Colin's eyes turned inward as if he was debating what to say next.
"I
never made it to the hotel." The room stirred and muttered. Colin was
supposed to fly in from
"What happened?" Drew asked quietly.
"We were flying somewhere over the States when the
plane developed a problem."
"What kind of problem?" Ryan looked pale, and his
fingers started to clench Colin's shoulder again.
"I
don't know. Mechanical, electrical, I don't remember. We had to make an emergency..."
Colin paused, "... landing... in
"
"Ask
the FAA." He continued hesitantly. "After we ... landed ... there
were a lot of ... questions ... and ... things ... that needed to be taken care
of.
"That
doesn't make any sense," Drew interrupted. "Why wouldn't they let you
leave the room?" Colin's eyes turned inward for another moment. Then he
shrugged again.
"No
INS office maybe? Or no customs? I don't
remember." He sounded weary. "By the time they were ready to let us
... go ... bad weather had shut down the airport. We spent two ... maybe three
days ... in that room."
"When
did you arrive in LA?" Ryan's grip had loosened, but he still looked pale.
Colin looked at his watch, did some slow math, and stifled a yawn.
"About four hours ago." Exclamations and gasps
echoed through the living room.
"You
came straight here from the airport?" Drew's question sounded more like a
statement of disbelief. "Why didn't you call? I would have canceled the
meeting!"
"I
didn't come straight here. I rented a car before I came," Colin protested,
but Laura's spell that had brought him out of his shell was broken. "I
didn't call because I didn't want to bother anyone," he added shyly.
"Now you know all there is to know." Ryan lightly tapped Colin's knee
with his free hand.
"You
haven't told us about the nightmare," he gently reminded him. Colin turned
and looked Ryan full in the face. Brown eyes searched deep into the green ones,
trying to reach a decision. Ryan tilted his head and tried to look prepared to
hear whatever the Canadian didn't want to tell. Colin's head drooped. The room
grew still as he studied the weave of Ryan's shirt. In the barest of whispers,
Colin began.
"I was dreaming about the landing in
... the crash.
Some of us ...
... didn't make it.
In the nightmare ...
... I was
one of them."
All breathing
in the room stopped. Even the rain outside seemed to hold its fury. Colin
looked away from Ryan's shirt, anguish etched on his face. He stared at the
memories hovering in his mind for a moment then looked around. Eyes open wide
but unseeing, eyes clenched tightly shut faced him as he slowly scanned the
room.
Finally
Colin braved a look at the man sitting next to him. Green eyes were the only
color in the face. Ryan began to shake as twin fears — plane crash and Colin's
death — gripped his mind. Colin reached out — one arm wrapped around Ryan's waist, the other reached behind his head — and pulled Ryan
inward. Shaking harder, Ryan cinched his arms around Colin and buried his face
in crook of Colin's neck. Colin circled his hand down Ryan's back and up to his
neck repeatedly murmuring comfort not only to him but to us as well. Sightless
eyes focused; closed eyes opened under Colin's ministrations.
After a few
long minutes, Ryan raised his head until his face was level with Colin's. Their
lips met in a fierce kiss. This time no one looked away as Ryan reassured
himself — and by proxy, us — that Colin was not one of the some who didn't make
it. Still not convinced by the touch of his lips, Ryan broke off, leaned his
forehead against Colin's, and looked deep into the eyes before him. The
intimate moment dissolved into a watery vision, and I took off my glasses to
wipe my eyes. When I put them back on, I noticed that most of the others were
wiping at misty eyes themselves. Colin brushed away Ryan's tears. With one last
quick clench, the couple broke apart, and became part of us again. Ryan cleared
his throat and looked towards Drew.
"Can we finish this meeting tomorrow? I want to take
Colin home and put him to bed."
"If
you know what I mean," Brad interjected. Several people including me threw
Brad a look that would have frozen Hell. Ryan and Colin never brought their
intimate relationship into their homes out of respect for their wives. And Brad
damn well knew that.
"Sorry, habit," Brad muttered an apology. But the
damage had been done. Colin looked worried.
"No,
Ryan, I'll just check into another hotel," Colin protested. "I don't
want to bother anyone." Ryan glared at Brad before turning back to Colin.
"You
will not be a bother. You know that." His mouth flicked into a crooked
smile. "Besides, if I checked you into a hotel, I'd just have to come
fetch you again when I told her what happened. She'd want to see for herself
that you're alright." Ryan paled a little and his smile disappeared.
"But don't mention the ..." Ryan swallowed, "... crash ... in
front of the kids. They're still nervous about nine-eleven." Colin nodded.
Ryan turned back to Drew. "How about it, Drew, is Monday okay?"
"It's fine with me, if it's okay with everyone
else."
"Why not
make it Tuesday instead?" I suggested. "Colin could probably use two
full days of rest. I know I could." Drew shook his head.
"We
can't; the Drew Carey Show tapes Tuesday night. Is Wednesday okay?" A
chorus of nods almost settled the issue.
"I can
make it on Monday!" Colin exclaimed. "You don't have to move the
meeting all the way to Wednesday just for me. I don't want t—"
"—to bother anyone." Jeff finished for him and then raised an eyebrow at the
surprised faces looking at him. "Fast learner," he offered by way of
explanation. When the laughter died down, Drew took another poll for a
Wednesday night meeting. This time Colin stayed quiet. Meeting time settled, Ryan stood up to leave.
"Drew,
would you bring my stuff to the set tomorrow for me?" After Drew nodded,
Ryan turned to Colin who was still sitting. "Give me a moment to unlock
the car doors then come on out. No sense in you getting soaked again tonight.
We'll pick up your car Wednesday." Colin opened his mouth to speak.
"And if you say that you want to drive yourself because 'you don't want to
bother anyone', I'll tie you up and stuff you in the trunk!" he added
hastily. Colin threw his hands up in front of him, palms outward in defense.
"I was
only going to ask if you wanted your jacket back. It's still raining. But nooo, you have to be all melodramatic about it."
Bemused,
Ryan shook his head, took the offered jacket, and put it on. With a general
goodbye to everyone, he headed out the front door into the rain. Colin rose and
headed for the door as well. His trip through Drew's living room was much
slower than Ryan's was. Everyone stopped him for a heartfelt handshake or an
occasional kiss on the cheek before they returned to the den to collect their
belongings. Finally he made it to the open door where the last of the group —
Drew, Laura, and me — were waiting. Drew and I shook his hand silently. Neither
of us trusted our voices to remain steady right then. Laura stood on tiptoe,
and Colin bent down so that she could give him a quick peck on the cheek. As he
straightened up, Laura put a hand on his arm.
"Promise
me that the next time you don't want to bother us, you'll bother us."
Colin looked out the door when twin headlights stabbed the night and then back
to Laura.
"I promise," he answered sincerely. With that,
Colin turned and ran through the rain towards the lights.
"Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I heard
that," Drew boomed as he watched the departing figure.
"You wouldn't need two TV shows," I offered. Drew
laughed and clapped me on back.
"You
got that right, buddy! You got that right." Laughing, Laura closed the
door. We turned and headed towards the den to help the others clean up before
going home.
--- End ---