11 May 1974
"Hey, Colin, wait up!" a delicate voice called out.
Colin turned, and
noticed a tall, willowy girl rushing up to meet him. Her hazel
eyes
looked shy beneath the thin lashes, and her long, flowing amber
hair,
whipped around her. She matched paces with him, diverting her
gaze to
the ground. Colin did his best to hide his sudden giddy feeling.
"Hey Christine, how's it goin?" he asked weakly, hoping
he didn't
sound as nervous as he thought he did. He'd had a major crush on
Christine Hamilton for over a year, but he knew a popular girl
like
her would never go for a guy like him.
"I'm worried out this final coming up," she answered,
sounding
genuinely concerned. "I wanted to know if you could help me
study."
Colin stopped short, looking at her with a mix of shock and
delight.
He immediately tried to act as if it made no difference to him
either
way.
"Sure, no problem. Want to come over to my place?" he
asked
nonchalantly. She smiled as they started walking again.
"Well, I was hoping you'd come to my house, this
evening," she
answered in a hushed tone. Colin turned to look at her, a glimmer
in
his eyes that was unmistakable. He turned his head, clearing his
throat. "I mean, if you can. I have to go out with some
friends
before dinner, but I need to study. Tonight's the best time for
me."
"Sure, all right then. Tonight. I'll come over around
6:30?" At her
nod, Colin smiled. She waved good-bye as she ran off to join a
group
of girls who had gathered at the corner. Colin turned off to head
toward home, beaming with excitement.
*******************************************************
Present
Ryan sat at the kitchen table, picking at a piece of toast he
didn't
want to eat. Colin came into the room, walking slowly through the
doorway with his crutches. It had only been a week since they
came
back to Colin's home in Toronto, but he was doing quite well.
Ryan thought back on the past couple of weeks with a mix of
emotions.
He'd come to a realization that he had feelings for his friend;
the
divorce from his wife had finalized it for him. He felt more
comfort
and security with Colin than he ever had with his wife, and even
now,
in the tense atmosphere that pervaded his stay, he felt that
added
warmth. It was something he hadn't even known was missing until
it
was almost gone.
But ever since they had returned to Toronto, the situation had
only
gotten worse. There was a thick apprehension in the air, almost
palpable to Ryan. Colin seemed ever more withdrawn, and it was
beginning to strain their friendship. He didn't want to leave
until
his friend had recovered, but Ryan thought maybe they needed some
time apart.
What bothered him was that he wasn't sure why Colin was so upset.
He
did his best to keep his feelings to a minimum until the right
moment, but there was an ever present sinking feeling that maybe
Ryan
had underestimated Colin's knack for reading people. There was a
fear
in him, distant as he tried to make it, that believed their
friendship could be over at any minute, should Colin discover
him.
But Ryan had done his best to push that fear aside.
Still, the tension was almost unbearable as Colin sat down at the
table, sipping on the coffee Ryan had made for him. He couldn't
meet
Ryan's eyes, and his expression was tired and anxious.
"I'm going to go out to the store, run a few errands. You
need
anything, Col?" Ryan asked politely, the concern only
appearing in
his eyes.
"Nah, I'm all set," Colin answered quietly. Ryan stood,
reaching for
his coat in the hallway. He stopped, noting that Colin was
looking
out the kitchen window, a distant look in his eyes.
"You gonna be okay while I'm gone?" Ryan asked
worriedly. Colin
turned, forcing a smile he obviously didn't feel.
"Yeah, you go ahead."
Ryan shook his head, but decided it might be better for his
friend to
be alone. He opened the door, glancing back for a second. In that
moment, he was almost certain there was a tear on Colin's face.
But
when he blinked, it was gone.
*I must be seeing things,* Ryan thought as he walked out.
*******************************************************
"Never again, isn't that what you said?
You've been through this before and
you swore this time you'd think with your head."
"No one would ever have you again.
And if takin' was gonna get done
you'd decide where and when."
*******************************************************
11 May 1974
Colin sat on Christine's soft bed, book open as he searched for
the
section they'd agreed to study on. Christine sat next to him,
very
closely, leaning over his shoulder as he looked.
"Here it is, Shakespeare. Now which play was it that you
wanted to go
over?" he asked, turning to look at her. She smiled, those
hazel eyes
drawing him into them. With each passing moment he felt all the
more
uncomfortable. He would have given anything to be in this
situation
before, but now that he was here, the anxiety was making him
shake.
"Um, it was 'Romeo and Juliet' I think. I just needed some
help on
the ideas of the play," she responded in a breathy voice.
Colin noted
she had gotten closer; he could feel her hair across his
shoulder.
Several minutes had passed as he explained the plot to Christine.
She
had begun to run her fingertips lightly along the nape of his
neck,
and the feeling was relaxing him. Maybe, when thinking upon it
years
later, if he had been paying even the slightest bit of attention,
he
would have seen what was coming. But instead, it caught him by
surprise.
He lifted his head to look up at her. She caught his eyes with
her
own and held them there. Hours could have passed, for all he
knew,
but eventually Christine reached up a hand to Colin's cheek. In
the
next breath she touched her lips to his in a light kiss. He
stiffened
immediately, almost drawing away, but she held firm, her other
hand
wrapping around the back of his head to hold him there.
She worked her mobile lips over his, flicking her tongue along
the
closed mouth, demanding access. Her patience was rewarded when he
finally began to respond. That first taste was something he knew
he'd
never forget, no matter how hard he tried. That kiss was quickly
followed by another, and another as he finally relaxed and let
her do
what she wanted.
She ran her fingers along his back, reaching beneath the shirt to
caress his bare skin beneath. He wrapped his arms around her,
unsure
of what to do with them. As it was, he could barely maintain
awareness of where he was, let alone what he was doing. She
continued
to make out with him for several minutes, exploring his body at
her
leisure all the while.
It took very little to have him eating out of her hands, and
Christine showed him things that night that Colin wasn't even
aware
of. If it hadn't been for her parents downstairs, they may have
gone
all the way, but when she was through with him, Colin was unsure
if
he could have taken anymore. All the ice in the arctic couldn't
have
cooled him off, as he practically staggered home to a sink of
cold
water.
He couldn't wait to see her again, his heart beating fast with
anticipation. But she said her next week would be booked solid
with
all the exams. He didn't mind. It would be worth the wait to
spend
even a little time with her. The next couple of weeks were filled
with several sleepless nights, and the constant aching for her
touch.
*******************************************************
Present
A few days later, Ryan found himself sitting on the couch,
watching
TV. There wasn't much on, never was, but he hoped to get lucky
this
time. Colin was sitting in the recliner, reading a newspaper.
When
Ryan looked over, he noted the discomfort on his friend's face.
Colin
stretched his neck, rolling his shoulder in an attempt to relieve
the
cramp.
Without really thinking about it, Ryan got up and padded over to
the
chair, standing behind the back and leaning over. He placed his
large
hands on Colin's shoulders, surprised for a moment at the tremble
he
felt. He began to work his fingers into the tense muscles of the
older man's neck, trying to work away the stress that was so
clearly
there.
Colin finally relaxed under the ministering hands, loosing
himself in
the comforting feeling of Ryan's fingers as they eased away the
pain.
He sighed, feeling better for the first time in over a week.
Maybe he
was going to recover afterall.
"You're very tense. Nothing's bothering you, is it?"
Ryan asked, too
casually, as he worked. Colin's eyes flew open, but he didn't
move.
"No, just stiff. I guess I've been sitting in the same
position too
long," he answered. Ryan was not satisfied.
"Now don't give me that. I know something's bothering you.
You don't
have to tell me now, but at least don't lie to me," he
responded
quietly, moving his thumbs to work over Colin's upper spine.
"No, I'd prefer not to talk about it, if that's all
right." Colin was
sure Ryan used this moment to ask. With the magic his hands were
doing, he almost could have relaxed the answer out of him. As it
was,
even the tension he felt at the question was melting away. Ryan
sighed heavily.
"Just remember, I'm here for you. I've got an ear whenever
you want
to use it."
"Yeah, thanks," Colin answered, quietly. "Thank
you."
*******************************************************
10 July 1974
Colin was too in love to notice much else. Anything Christine
wanted,
he gave her. He would go out when she asked, cancel plans if she
wanted, leave when her friends came around. She treated him with
a
polite consideration, but when it came right down to it, he was
right
where she wanted him.
So it came as no surprise when she called to cancel their date
for
that evening.
"I'm sorry, sweetie, but I have to go to this party.
Everyone who's
anyone will be there. I have my reputation to maintain." Her
voice
sounded like saccharin on the other end, a little too sweet.
"But couldn't I come with you?" he asked sadly, not
wanting wait yet
another day see her.
"You know how these things are. You just wouldn't fit in
there," she
answered. He could almost here the unspoken 'because you're a
nobody.' But he didn't want to hurt her, so he accepted her
reasons.
He'd find something to do to pass the time.
Such was the routine the entire summer. His junior year would see
more separation between them. He still saw her, usually in the
evenings. He'd help her with her classes, settle for a few kisses
and
glances. But he knew it was the way things would be. After
school,
she'd promised to spend more time with him.
He believed her.
*******************************************************
Present
"Hey Colin, how're you doing?" It was Pat Stiles,
Ryan's ex-wife.
She'd called to check up on Colin once before, at the hospital,
but
this call was unexpected, and pleasant. It was nice to have
someone
else to talk with for a while. Even though she and Ryan were no
longer married, Colin had still managed to remain friends with
her.
"I'm getting better, so I guess I can't complain. How about
you?" He
noted an odd tone in her voice, and wondered if maybe this call
wasn't for him afterall.
"Well, I guess I'm all right. Actually, I called to see if
Ryan is
there," she answered in a hesitant voice.
"Sure, I can get him for you," he began, but was cut
off by her quick
response.
"No, that's okay, wait a few minutes. I wanted to ask you
something."
She sighed heavily into the receiver, and Colin straightened
himself,
prepared to listen. "How has he been? I mean, how's he
holding up?"
The undercurrent of concern in her voice struck a nerve with
Colin.
"He's been doing pretty well. You know, he's been up here,
away from
the house, so he hasn't had to think about it much. Why do you
ask?"
Colin's curiosity was getting the best of him, but Pat didn't
seem to
mind the inquiry.
"I just wanted to be sure. I guess... I feel a little guilty
about
everything that's happened between us. I thought things were so
great, and then suddenly, it seemed like he wasn't happy
anymore."
There was sadness in the words, but no bitterness. If she was
angry
at all, Colin couldn't tell. "I just wanted to see if that's
changed
at all. All I ever really wanted was for him to be happy."
"I know that's all he wanted for you, too, Pat. I don't
pretend to
know why things changed between the two of you. It certainly
isn't my
place to get involved." Colin wanted to be supportive, but
he always
tried not to butt into his friends' affairs. "I'm sorry, I
know
that's not the answer you were looking for."
"Yeah, I guess I just hoped you knew something I didn't. He
always
could tell you more than he could me," she answered lightly.
She
wasn't jealous, the words merely matter-of-fact. "I just
know I'm
ready to move on now. I think I can be happy, but only if I know
he
is too."
"Well, maybe you should talk to him about that, Pat. I'd
hate to see
it end like this, with neither of you knowing. I think maybe he
wants
to move on too...but he might be waiting for you." He
remained silent
for a moment while the words digested. Finally, she replied, her
voice hitching with barely contained crying.
"Let me talk to him."
Colin called Ryan in, and went into the next room to let them
talk
alone. He hoped things would settle between them, and that they
could
both move on with their lives. And he believed they would; Pat
and
Ryan were both strong. They could make it through this. They both
could even be happy again with their lives.
Colin closed his eyes and tried not to think about how much he
envied
them both; how much he wished for their strength. Instead, he
smiled
when Ryan returned several minutes later, relieved that it was
all
over. He could move on now. Colin patted his back and offered his
support. Perhaps it was the only thing he had left to offer.
*******************************************************
13 August 1975
Christine's eighteenth birthday was a whole town affair. She'd
politely allowed him to come; afterall, they had been dating for
over
a year. If you could call after school homework sessions and the
occasional dinner and a movie dating.
But Colin was very proud. He'd gotten her a wonderful gift for
her
birthday. It had cost him all of the money he'd earned from his
odd
jobs and part time job busing tables at a local diner for the
past
year. But it would be worth it, he was sure. She'd see how much
he
really loved her, and that would finalize everything.
He'd waited to give his gift to her after the party had begun to
wind
down. People mingled around the yard, in and out of the house. He
waded trough the crowd, searching or Christine. He saw her
bedroom
door was opened, and slid past chattering guests and up the
stairs.
He reached into his pocket, pulling out the small box and
readying it
in his palm. He rounded the corner into her room.
"Christine, I wanted to give you--" He stopped short,
his voice dying
in his throat as his smile turned into a look of shock. Christine
was
on her bed, her dress sleeve halfway down her arm, in the arms of
another man. She looked up in horror, pulling her dress around
her.
The boy, a senior football player, merely stared.
Colin's hands shook with a mix of anger and fear. He dropped the
box,
running from the room, and disappeared, dashing home. Christine
sat
up, walking to the door. He was long gone, and she made no
attempt to
follow him. Instead, she turned, bending down to retrieve the
box.
Inside was a gold chain with a pendant; a heart of gold and a
small
diamond in the center. The card read simply 'For Christine, My
Love.'
She looked up at the boy, who was waiting impatiently on the be.
Finally, she pulled the necklace out, sliding it over her head,
and
tossed the box away, returning to the jock's waiting arms.
*******
TBC
*******