Regression
by Heather
Drew Carey took another sip of his beer and leaned back,
looking at his friends through sleepy eyes.
They were all lounging around in his living room, and the party was
winding down.
“Yeah, it’s getting late, isn’t it?” Greg commented, noticing their sleeping friend. “And you’ve got that flight tomorrow,” he continued.
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Ryan groaned, his shoulders tensing. The movement brought Colin out of his light doze, and he looked up.
“Remind you of what?” Colin asked, rubbing gently at his eyes.
“That I’ve got to get on one of those damn deathtraps and go
to
“Hey, don’t blame me,” Drew countered, “I’m not the one who insisted on filming the show on location. I thought a green screen would be perfectly fine, but Bruce said no.” He was, of course, talking about Bruce Helford, his longtime friend and the executive producer of The Drew Carey Show. “Besides,” he continued, “flying in a plane is safer than driving a car—“
“Right, right,” Ryan said, cutting him off. “I’ve heard it a million times, and it doesn’t help. I know it’s stupid, but I hate flying, and I always will.” Colin ran a sympathetic hand down his back, knowing how much being in a plane scared his friend. Greg was looking at the taller man with an odd, speculative expression on his face. Seeing the look, Ryan said, “What?”
“Well...nah, you don’t want to hear it,” Greg said, looking away and shaking his head.
“Sure I do. What?” Ryan insisted, and Colin nodded in agreement.
“I could...I could get rid of that for you. Make you not scared of flying anymore.” Colin raised his eyebrows skeptically, while Ryan just snorted in disbelief.
“Right, sure you could,” Ryan answered, shaking his head.
“I could! I’ve done it before...well, sort of,” Greg added, shrugging his shoulders.
“How?” Colin asked curiously.
“Well...okay, its kind of a long story, but here goes,” Greg replied. “See, when I was in college, I was taking this course...I guess you’d call it creative psychology.” Drew sat forward in his seat—this sounded interesting. “Anyway, they taught us hypnosis, and I got pretty good at it.”
“All right, that’s enough,” Ryan said, waving a hand and shaking his head. “You can just stop right there, cause there’s no way I’m letting you screw around with my head. That shit doesn’t work anyway.”
“It does!” Greg insisted. “I used it on my friend—he was scared to death of heights. I mean, totally, he couldn’t even get on a diving board. And I hypnotized him, and told him he wasn’t scared of them anymore, and bam!”
“It worked?” Colin asked skeptically. Greg nodded, and Colin exchanged a look with Ryan. For a moment, the taller man looked tempted, but then he shook his head.
“C’mon Greg, you’re so full of it your eyes are turning brown. There’s no way you know how to hypnotize people,” Ryan said, grinning.
“Well, if you don’t believe me, let me prove it to you,” Greg said, his pride stung. “I’ll hypnotize you, and—“
“Nah, that’s okay. I’m not going to sit here while you dangle a watch in front of my eyes or something—and neither is Colin,” Ryan added, seeing Greg’s gaze turn to his friend. When Colin raised an eyebrow, giving him a ‘you’re making my decisions for me’ look, Ryan lifted his hands and said, “Hey, I just don’t want him fucking up your head.”
“Well then, let me try Drew,” Greg said, turning to look at the chubby comedian.
“Sure, fine with me,” Ryan replied, shrugging indifferently.
“Gee, thanks for your concern.” Despite the sarcasm in his voice, Drew was interested. He’d never been hypnotized before, and it sounded like it might be fun. Since he was the kind of guy who’d try anything once, he nodded at Greg’s questioning look.
“All right!” Greg said, rubbing his hands together happily. “Glad *somebody* has the guts to try something new,” he added, throwing a pointed look at Ryan. The taller man grinned wryly and scratched his cheek with his middle finger, making Colin snicker. “Let me just get set up here...”
Soon they were ready. Drew was seated in his armchair, with Greg sitting on the coffee table right in front of him. Ryan and Colin were perched together on the couch behind Greg, watching with identical expressions of bemused skepticism. Greg had turned all the lights off, and set up a flashlight to shine between him and Drew. Pulling quarter out of his pocket, he began walking it rapidly over his knuckles with the ease of long practice. It was a trick they had all seen him do before, sort of a nervous habit. The flashlight’s beam struck the silvery coin, making it shine and appear to spin as Greg shuttled it quickly back and forth.
“All right Drew, just listen to my voice, and watch the coin...you’re getting very relaxed. You can feel your body getting heavy and numb. Keep your eyes on the coin, and picture yourself going down a long, dark tunnel. You’re walking, and the light is behind you...it’s getting darker and darker.” Greg’s normally sharp voice was soft and low, and Drew could indeed feel himself getting sleepy. Maybe it was partly the drinks he had consumed, but the mellow, relaxed feeling was pleasant, and he went with it.
“Now,” Greg continued, “You come to a set of stairs leading down. There are ten steps, and with each step, you’re going a little deeper. Each step makes you more relaxed. I’m going to count them as you walk. Ten...nine...eight...” Drew pictured himself walking down the steps, and with each one, he could actually feel his limbs growing heavier. Greg’s voice began to sound echoey and faraway, and his awareness of the chair under him seemed to disappear.
“Three...two...one. You are now completely relaxed, but you can hear everything I say.” Drew didn’t respond. He was sitting perfectly still, his eyes closed and only the soft motion of his chest indicating that he was still breathing. Turning to the others, Greg indicated Drew with one hand and said, “See? He’s under, just like I said.”
Colin seemed convinced, but Ryan remained doubtful. “No way,” he said, “he’s just faking it.”
“Drew, raise your right hand.” Drew obeyed Greg’s order, lifting his hand and holding it limply in the air. Greg looked at Ryan as if this should prove something, but Ryan just shook his head.
“So? He can lift his hand. So what? You don’t have to be hypnotized to do that.”
“C’mon, Ryan, why are you so skeptical?” Colin asked, frowning slightly at his friend.
“It must be nice to always believe that people are telling you the truth,” Ryan replied, giving Colin a saccharine sweet smile. Colin gave him a ‘fuck you very much’ look and shrugged at Greg.
“I believe you, but I guess you’ll need something a little better to convince Mr. Cynical over here.” Ryan rolled his eyes slightly at the title, and poked Colin in the ribs. Giggling, Colin twisted away, grabbing Ryan’s hand before he could do any more tickling. Through all of this, Drew remained perfectly still, his hand hanging in mid-air as if attached to strings. Greg chuckled at his friends’ antics, and then noticed Drew’s still-lifted hand.
“Oh, put your hand down, Drew.” The entranced comic obeyed, not dropping the hand, but slowly returning it to its place on his lap. The motion was enough to completely convince Colin, but Ryan still wasn’t quite there.
“I have to admit, you put on quite an act, but I still think Drew’s just playing along,” Ryan said, shaking his head.
“Well, what would it take for us to convince you?” Greg asked impatiently.
Ryan paused, thinking for a moment, and Colin watched him. Then their eyes met, and Greg wondered just what communication was going on between the two men. At times like this, when they almost seemed to read each other’s mind, he always felt a bit left out. He had known them for over ten years, but he still wasn’t part of that inner circle; that bond that was Ryan and Colin against the world. He wasn’t jealous—not really. Just...wistful, sometimes.
Seeming to come to a decision, Ryan looked up and said, “Okay, you know that story that Drew’s always telling about how he lost his virginity when he was fifteen to a college girl?” Colin was nodding as if Ryan had just said what he had expected to hear. Greg nodded too, having heard the story several times himself. “Well, I really doubt it’s true, and he’s actually hypnotized, he’ll tell us the real story,” Ryan finished.
“What if it IS true?” Greg asked. Ryan and Colin just raised their eyebrows at him, and after a moment, Greg nodded in acquiescence. “Yeah, okay, you’re right. Let’s hear the real story.”
Facing Drew, Ryan asked, “Okay, Drew, how old were you the first time you had sex?” Drew didn’t respond at all, and Ryan’s brow furrowed in confusion.
“He can’t hear you,” Greg explained. “He can only hear my voice right now.”
“Well then you ask him.” Greg nodded, feeling slightly vindicated that Ryan didn’t question his claim about Drew hearing him. He thought it was probably true—it had been a long time since he’d done this, and he wasn’t sure exactly how it worked.
Turning to look at Drew, Greg asked, “Drew, how old were you the first time you had sex?”
The answer was soft and immediate. “Nine.”
Greg leaned back, and exchanged a look of confusion with Colin. Ryan snorted and shook his head, saying, “Well, now I know he’s faking it. That’s not even possible.”
“Hang on, maybe he didn’t understand the question or something,” Greg said, waving a hand at Ryan. Facing Drew again, he said, “Okay, listen carefully. Can you hear me?”
“Yes.” Drew’s voice was soft and perfectly flat, devoid of any emotion. Colin felt himself shiver involuntarily, and Ryan frowned slightly. He thought if Drew was faking it, he was doing a damn good job.
“I’m going to ask you some questions,” Greg continued, “and I want you to answer them with complete honesty. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“All right, lets start out simple. What’s your full name?”
“Drew Allison Carey.”
“How old are you?”
“Forty-two.”
“Okay, now here’s the kicker,” Greg said, glancing quickly at Ryan and Colin. “How old were you the first time you had actual sex with another person?”
“Nine.”
Blinking in perplexity, Greg lifted his hands in a ‘what the hell?’ gesture, and looked at the others. Ryan was frowning in confusion, but Colin...the look of horrified understanding on his face made Ryan put a concerned hand on his shoulder.
“
“I think I might know what Drew’s talking about,” Colin said, looking like he hoped he was wrong.
“What?” Ryan and Greg asked in unison.
“Just...ask him if he wanted to,” Colin replied.
“Huh?” Greg asked, not understanding his friend’s meaning.
“Ask him if he wanted to have sex, or if he was...you know...forced.”
Understanding dawned on the other two men’s faces, and Greg bit his lip, hoping Colin’s guess was wrong. Turning back to Drew, he asked, “This first time, when you were nine...did you want to, or did somebody make you?”
For the first time, Drew’s voice held some emotion when he replied, “Didn’t want to. He made me.”
Greg swallowed nervously, and gave his friends a helpless look. He wasn’t sure what to do next. Ryan just seemed shocked, and Colin was staring at Drew sympathetically. The hypnotized comic still had his eyes closed, but his posture had changed subtly. He seemed to be curled up a little, and his small, chubby hands were drawn close in a defensive gesture.
“Ask him who,” Ryan said, his voice soft and dangerous.
Greg nodded, understanding Ryan’s anger. “Drew, who made you do that?” he asked, looking as his friend with compassion.
Drew shook his head, his face scrunching up in agitation. “No...not supposed to tell...it’s bad.” His voice had gone up at least an octave, and Greg was alarmed at the childlike speech patterns. He vaguely remembered something about this in his class—he thought it was called regression. And if it was happening, that meant Drew was getting caught in his memories. Which was a bad thing.
“Okay, all right, Drew, I want you to calm down,” Greg said, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice. He put a soothing hand on Drew’s shoulder, but the trembling man jerked away, shaking his head violently.
“No! Don’t wanna...go ‘way! Lemme ‘lone!” Greg pulled back, looking at his friend in alarm. Ryan and Colin leaned forward, both staring at Drew in confusion.
“What’s wrong with him?” Colin asked, his expressive eyes dark with worry. Ryan nodded, looking at Greg expectantly.
“I...he’s regressed, I think. I’m not really sure—“
“You don’t know what the hell you’re doing, do you?” Ryan snapped, looking at Greg accusingly. Greg winced, knowing the taller man was right. He was playing with things he didn’t understand, and now Drew was paying for it.
“Look, just give me a minute, all right? I can bring him out of it...I think.” Ryan snorted impatiently, and Colin put a placating hand on his arm. Looking at the older man, Ryan seemed ready to argue, but subsided when he saw the pleading expression in Colin’s deep brown eyes. Greg shot Colin a grateful look before turning his attention back to Drew, who was still curled up and shaking. Sweat was popping out on his forehead, and his eyes were squeezed tightly shut.
“Okay, Drew, listen to me. Can you hear me?”
“Yes,” Drew replied, his voice high and frightened.
“Now look, it’s all right. You can tell me what happened, and then we can go past it,” Greg said, hoping he was doing this right.
“No...it’s bad. He said I better keep it a secret, or I’ll get in trouble.” Drew was still speaking in that childlike voice, but at least he was communicating.
Thinking he was on the right track, Greg continued, “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone. I promise. You can tell me, and then it’ll be all over.”
For a long moment, Drew wavered indecisively, and then nodded. Colin let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, and Ryan did the same. The two exchanged one of those communicative looks before leaning forward to listen to Drew’s story.
“I...it’s summertime, and I went to stay with my Aunty Karen on her farm. And...there’s this guy, who does work for her, and...and...” Drew trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut and wrapping his arms tightly around his body. He rocked back and forth in the chair, shaking his head and muttering. “Didn’t wanna...made me...cause I was bad...not supposed to tell...” Greg exchanged stricken looks with Ryan and Colin, and then tried again to put a hand on Drew’s shoulder. This time he accepted the contact, or maybe he was just too deep in the memories to feel it. Either way, he didn’t pull away, and Greg left his hand there, gently rubbing his shoulder and neck.
“Okay, Drew, listen to me. Can you hear me?”
“Yes...”
“Have you ever told anyone this before?” Greg asked gently.
“No! Its bad! I can’t...”
“Okay, okay, calm down. It’s not your fault, Drew. You didn’t do anything wrong. I want to make sure you’re clear on that. It’s...NOT...your...fault.” Gently squeezing Drew’s shoulder to emphasize each word, Greg watched his face for any sign of understanding. Drew only shook his head, confused.
“C’mon Greg, you’re not a therapist. Don’t worry about fixing his head right now, just bring him out of this regression thing!” Ryan said, looking worriedly at Drew. Colin nodded his agreement, and then stood and moved to Drew’s other side, touching him tentatively on his arm. When Drew didn’t flinch away, Colin took his friend’s small hand in both of his and held it gently, looking down at him with concern.
Greg nodded and took a deep breath, not quite sure how to proceed. Then, an idea occurred to him, and he asked, “Drew, how old are you right now?”
“I’m nine,” Drew replied, still in his high child-voice. Colin raised an eyebrow and looked back at Ryan, who responded by moving forward and standing behind Drew, pressing his chest and stomach against the shorter man’s back. He put both hands on Drew’s shoulders, leaving the trembling man closely surrounded on all sides by friendly support.
Taking the hand that Colin wasn’t holding, Greg leaned forward and steeled himself for a bumpy ride. “Drew, open your eyes.” The eyes flipped open obediently, but Drew didn’t focus on anyone. His eyes were faraway; staring at something only he could see.
“All right, Drew, what are you looking at?”
“Him...he’s coming for me again...I’m hiding in the barn.” Drew ducked his head, putting his arms up in a defensive posture and whimpering in fear. Colin stroked his hands over Drew’s short hair, trying to soothe the trembling man.
“Is this really necessary? I mean, do you have to make him relive it?” Ryan asked, biting his lip in worry.
“We have to move past it, and the only way out is through,” Greg replied, shooting a guilty look in Drew’s direction. “Maybe there’s another way, but this is the only way that I know of.” Ryan nodded grudgingly, and Colin gestured for him to continue, so Greg asked, “What happened next?”
“I’m in the hay...I’m trying to hide under it, and its all scratchy,” Drew said, rubbing at his arms and shrugging his shoulders uncomfortably. His nose twitched, and he surprised everyone with a sudden explosive sneeze. Then he immediately cringed, and said, “Oh no, he heard me! He’s coming! No, go away...please...” Greg’s eyes widened in alarm as Drew began thrashing back and forth in the chair, struggling with someone only he could see. Ryan and Colin tried to hold on to him, to calm him down, but that only made him fight harder.
“Let him go! He thinks you’re...you know, the guy,” Greg snapped, shooing the other two men away with a gesture. They backed up, and Drew stilled somewhat, although he was still shaking his head and muttering miserably.
“No...stop it...don’t wanna...lemme go...” Drew’s voice became choked with emotion, and his unseeing eyes welled with tears. He wasn’t fighting anymore though, and they all realized this must have been how he reacted the first time—submitting to the authority of the adult, even though he didn’t want to. Greg swallowed, sharing a look of anger and sadness with Ryan and Colin.
“Its okay, Drew...its over now. Whatever he’s doing to you, its over. All right?”
“Okay,” Drew replied, sniffling. He was hunched over in his seat, looking completely forlorn. Nodding to the other two men, Greg moved forward again and gently rubbed Drew’s shoulder. Ryan and Colin took the cue and both put their arms loosely around the hypnotized man, rocking him slowly back and forth.
“What happened next?” Greg asked, hoping the worst was over.
“He’s walking away...I’m just sitting in the hay. I...I don’t know what to do. I feel so bad...I was so bad. Not supposed to tell. Gotta keep it a secret...it’ll be okay if I just don’t tell anyone. He said. He said I was bad, so I hafta be quiet and stay here for a while. I’m being quiet. I’m bad.” Drew’s voice was still high and childlike, but the emotion was draining from it, leaving him sounding empty and shell-shocked.
Closing his eyes for a moment in silent sympathy, Greg took Drew’s hands in his and squeezed them gently. “Okay,” he said, “it’s over now. It’s all over, and we can move forward.”
“Good,” Colin said softly. He leaned down and rested his chin on Drew’s shoulder, closing his eyes sadly. Ryan modified his stance to include Colin, wrapping his long arms around both men. Greg looked at Drew apologetically, and hoped he wasn’t doing something to seriously mess his friend up.
“Okay,” Greg began, “listen to me. You’re getting older. You’re not nine anymore, you’re...um...twelve. Now, what do you see?”
Drew’s posture changed dramatically. His trembling stopped and he relaxed, leaning back against Ryan. He smiled softly and replied, “The baseball field. It’s just down the street from my house, and we’re all playing. Usually my brothers won’t let me play, but it’s my birthday, and I got a brand new glove, and I get to play with them and their friends.”
Greg nodded, relieved that his tactic had worked. Of course, Drew was still lost in a memory, but at least this time it was a pleasant one. Ryan and Colin were giving him encouraging looks, and he continued, “All right, Drew, now we’re moving forward again. Now you’re sixteen, okay?”
“Okay,” Drew answered, and Colin grinned to hear the way his voice cracked—just like a teenagers. Catching Ryan’s eye, he knew the taller man had heard it too, and Ryan returned his look with a flicker of humor in his green eyes before fixing his attention on Drew again.
“What do you see, Drew?” Greg asked.
“Becka,” Drew replied, grinning dreamily. “She’s in front of me in English, and she’s got this incredible long blonde hair...and great tits. Wow...”
Ryan and Colin chuckled, exchanging a smiling glance. “Yep, that’s our Drew all right,” Ryan said, shaking his head. Greg nodded his agreement, grinning wryly at the chubby comedian.
Deciding they didn’t need to pause at every single year, Greg kept things moving. “All right, getting older again, now you’re twenty-three. Where do you live?”
“Vegas,” Drew replied, his expression darkening. He was looking around, presumably seeing the lights and glamour in his mind again. Greg nodded, remembering that Drew had lived there off and on in his youth.
“All right, and what are you doing in Vegas,” Greg asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.
“I’m...I’m thinking about taking some pills. Some sleeping pills. I’ve tried it before, in college, and I didn’t take enough to finish the job. But this time...” Drew trailed off, his normally cheerful eyes dark and empty. Greg raised an eyebrow, sharing a worried look with the other two men.
“I remember reading about this,” Colin said, shaking his head. “I knew he’d tried it a couple times, but to hear it this way...”
“Yeah,” Ryan responded softly, putting a worried hand on Drew’s head and softly stroking the short, fuzzy hair. “It’s creepy. I guess now we know why he thought about it, huh?” Greg nodded, not liking the intense, scary look in Drew’s eyes. He decided it was time to get past this memory.
“Right, moving on then,” Greg said briskly, “now you’re thirty...”
Bringing Drew forward in this manner, Greg soon had him back at his real age of forty-two. “All right, Drew,” he said, relieved that this was almost over, “where are you now?”
“I’m in my house,” Drew replied calmly.
“Okay, I’m going to wake you up now. When I do, do you want to remember what you’ve told us today?”
“No!” The answer was immediate and emphatic, and Greg raised his eyebrows, slightly surprised.
“Are you sure?” he asked, rubbing Drew’s back encouragingly.
“I’m sure. I don’t want everyone treating me different,” Drew replied, ducking his head in embarrassment.
Greg shrugged and said, “Okay then, here we go. I’m going to say a little rhyme, and as I say it, you’re going to imagine yourself coming back up those stairs. When I get to the end, you’ll be completely awake and calm, and you won’t remember any of what you told us. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“All right.” Pausing, Greg glanced sheepishly at Ryan and Colin, and then said his little rhyme—probably one of the few things he did remember from college. “Bird and bear and hare and fish, give my love her fondest wish.” At the last word, Drew suddenly pulled in a deep breath, and his eyes focused on the men standing around him.
“Whoa! When did you guys move? Did you hypnotize me?” he asked, looking questioningly at Greg. Ryan and Colin exchanged a meaningful look over Drew’s head, and Greg just blinked at him nervously. Noticing that Colin and Greg were each holding one of his hands, and Ryan still had his arms loosely wrapped around his shoulders, Drew frowned in confusion.
“Umm...guys? What the hell is going on here? Why are you all looking at me like that?” Drew asked, pulling his hands back uncomfortably. Ryan let him go and took a quick step back, running a hand nervously through his hair. Blinking rapidly, Drew rubbed at his face, and then looked at his hands in surprise when they came away wet from his recent tears. He knew from the way his throat and sinuses felt that he’d been crying, and he looked down in embarrassment. Biting his lip, he asked, “Okay, what happened? And why am I all sweaty?”
“Uh...well...you wanna take this one, Colin?” Ryan said, looking away quickly. Colin shot him a dirty look, and then proceeded to look everywhere but at Drew, shifting nervously on his feet.
“Nothing. Nothing happened,” Greg chimed in, saving Colin, who was terrible at lying. However, at the moment, he wasn’t very good at lying either. He was still too shaken from taking Drew through his memories to fashion a reasonable story.
“Come on, don’t give me that,” Drew replied, completely failing to fall for the innocent act. “What, did you make me do a striptease or something?” Drew’s smile melted away when nobody grinned in response, and he narrowed his eyes in confusion. He looked from one man to the next, and no one would meet his gaze. “All right, knock it off. I want to know what happened,” Drew said, getting irritated.
“Um...we sorta asked you some questions,” Colin mumbled, giving him a quick, guilty look.
“What questions? What could I possibly say that would make you all look at me that way?” Drew asked, lifting his hands in confusion.
“It was—“ Ryan began.
“Don’t!” Greg snapped, cutting him off. “He said he didn’t want to remember!”
Drew looked back and forth at them, and asked, “What didn’t I want to remember? Tell me!”
Greg looked at him for a moment, and then threw his hands up in the air and shrugged, nodding at Ryan to go ahead. Glad that they could get this out in the open, Ryan said, “We were asking you about that story you always tell us...about doing it with that college girl when you were fifteen.”
“Yeah, so?” Drew replied, shrugging his shoulders. “So I made that up, so what. You wanna hear the real truth, I was a virgin till I was eighteen, okay? Big deal.” Something was tickling at the back of his mind, telling him this wasn’t quite accurate either, but he shushed it, not wanting to think about what it might mean.
Ryan exchanged a long pleading look with Colin, who took pity on the younger man and finished the explanation for him. “You actually ended up telling us about your, um...first time,” Colin said, giving Drew a meaningful look.
For a moment, he still didn’t get it, and then everything suddenly clicked and Drew pulled in a quick breath. That shaky, just got done crying feeling, the strange way they were treating him, the cold sweat still coating his body—it all made sense. Drew covered his face in embarrassment, suddenly realizing why he hadn’t wanted to remember. He’d made his peace with that long ago attack, but he wasn’t ready to talk about it with his friends, mostly because he didn’t want to be treated any differently. It had taken years for Drew to come to terms with that boyhood trauma, but he finally felt comfortable with it, and had accepted its influence on his life. Remembering it was not a problem, but his friends knowing about it definitely was. Because now, they were all giving him that cautious, pitying look that he had so dreaded seeing on their faces.
“Stop it,” Drew snapped impatiently.
“What?” Colin asked, putting a tentative hand on Drew’s shoulder.
“That!” Drew replied, shrugging the hand off and shaking his head. “Stop treating me like I’m breakable or something. I’m fine with it. I’ve dealt with it, I’m over it, I’m okay, so just don’t worry about me.”
Colin nodded, stepping back to stand at Ryan’s side, and the two old friends exchanged a knowing look. Giving Drew a sidelong glance, Ryan murmured, “He probably doesn’t want to be touched right now.”
Drew blew a frustrated breath out through his teeth. “Could you possibly do me one favor, Ryan?” he asked sweetly. When Ryan nodded, Drew continued, “Could you maybe not talk about me as if I wasn’t in the room!” Ryan blinked, leaning back slightly in reaction to Drew’s irritated tone.
Moving up behind Drew, Greg gently rubbed at his shoulders and said, “Just calm down, buddy, we’re here for you, if you want to get upset—“
“I am not upset!” Drew snapped, and then paused, realizing how he sounded. Taking a deep breath, he continued in a calmer tone of voice, “Listen to me, all right? I’ve dealt with what happened to me. It took a long time, but I’m finally okay with it, and I don’t want everyone treating me differently. I’m still the same guy I always was, you just know a little more about me, that’s all.”
Colin and Greg nodded in acceptance, but Ryan raised an eyebrow and said, “If you’re so okay with it, how come you never told anyone? Why all the secrecy?”
Drew threw his hands up in exasperation, and then, inspiration struck. Grinning wickedly up at Ryan, Drew said, “If I wasn’t okay with it, would I do this?” Then, before Ryan could react, Drew grabbed his head and kissed him firmly on the lips, holding the contact for several seconds. Ryan finally pulled away, wiping at his mouth and sputtering in confusion. Drew grinned at him, perfectly calm, and said, “So, how okay with it was that?”
There was a moment of perfect silence, and then Greg burst into laughter, shaking his head at the look on Ryan’s face. Colin was quick to join in, giggling and patting Drew on the back. Drew grinned, and then started laughing too, while Ryan stared at all of them, gaping like a fish out of water. It finally dawned on him that Drew was indeed all right with his past, and nothing had changed. He was still the same fun-loving guy he’d always been, and Ryan felt a smile stretch across his face. Slinging a friendly arm around Drew’s shoulders, he leaned in and said, “I’m glad you’re all right, but don’t ever do that again. Ever.” This just cracked everyone up more, and they all hung on each other for support—four comedians laughing their asses off in the middle of the night in a darkened house.
Finally, the laughter trailed off into giggles and the occasional hiccup from Colin, and they all sat down again, grinning at each other. Greg raised his eyebrows at Ryan and said, “So, I guess you’re next!”
The look on Ryan’s face was that of a gazelle being stalked by a lion.
* * * * *
Finis