Shards
by Bonnie H.
I see you there, hooked on machines.
I see you there, immobilized.
I see you there, your heart monitor beeping.
I see you there, in pain.
Colin
Mochrie watched, as his best friend lay there motionless. He was dying… and that
damn respirator was just making it worse. He stared at the once happy face of
his friend. He felt the tears coming again but he forced his tears back. I
don’t want him feeling pain anymore, he thought.
I sit there and wonder what you would say, if you could speak to me. Would
you say "help me child, I love you but I need to die. Please child, help
me die my life is gone and I want to die." I hear your whispered words
"I love you child."
I
can’t stand this, he thought; I don’t want him to suffer. He is already in
pain. Why does he have to suffer? I can’t take it. I’ve known him forever.
Don’t die on me Stiles! I have to do this. I need him but his suffering is so
apparent. He shouldn’t be in this pain. He shouldn’t have to live right now.
He’ll never get off this damn thing and he will never be able to do improv
again. It’ll destroy him. At least he’ll be able to breathe where he is going.
He doesn’t have anything to live for anymore. He wouldn’t be able to do improv
and Pat left. I have to let him die. He stood up and looked around. He silently
shut the door.
“
I’m sorry Ryan. But I love you too much to let you suffer anymore. Goodbye
friend. I’ll miss you greatly. I’ll throw you a beautiful funeral. It’s the
best I can do. I’ll let you rest in peace now.” Colin whispered quietly. Ryan’s
eyes fluttered open. Colin could tell he had heard what he had said and his
eyes showed that he wanted it. His eyes just said, let me die. Colin kissed
Ryan on the cheek and tasted the salt of tears. Good bye my friend, Colin
thought. With that… he turned off the respirator and took the IV’s out.
Then I hear the saddest sound.
The heart monitor stops, but now I've found,
that even though you have left this world, I hope that you're not
suffering.
I hope that you still love me.
The
heart monitor stopped shortly after. He turned the respirator on and placed the
IV’s back in. He started crying and he yelled for the nurses. The next part
went in a blur. He sat there as the nurse took off the respirator and took out
the IV’s. He smiled inside. I’ll see you later friend, Colin thought as he
walked out of the room and out of the hospital.
Then I hear another sound, the sound of breaking glass. I know that the
peace of the moment would never last. Time wont stop, but life can always fade.
But the glass is broke, I see the shards, then I think I love you forever, then
a single star floats up and becomes forever.
Colin welcomed the cold Canadian air. He walked to the
park. It was their park. It is where they had met. He remembered the day so
clearly. He was overcome with sadness. He remembered how Ryan had bumped into
him and made Colin drop his ice cream. He had bought him a new one and from
there they had become friends. They were both going to try out for