**
Drew Carey walked to the window for the fifth time in as many
minutes and looked out
the window. "Stupid snow," he grumbled.
Turning, he surveyed the room and sighed.
"There's no way we're getting out of here tonight," he
announced.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Greg Proops snorted
derisively from the table across
the room. "I think we've already established that
much." He shook his head and glanced
at the three others around the table. They said nothing,
their attentions seemingly turned
elsewhere.
"Sorry," Drew said, moving away from the window and
throwing himself disconsolately
onto the couch. "I just really wanted to get out of
here."
"We all did," Colin Mochrie said quietly.
"The question is what are we going to do now
that we can't leave?" He was seated at Greg's right,
across from Brad Sherwood, and
to the left of Ryan Stiles.
"You mean now that we're really stuck here together and cut
off from civilization?" Greg
asked. He shook his head, chuckling at the irony.
Here they were, the five of them, stuck in a comfortable mountain
cabin with no phones,
TV, or radio. It had been Drew's idea, of course.
Just the five of them, sneaking away
for a couple days of rest and relaxation, away from the rush and
pressure of performance,
away from families and obligations and responsibility.
Okay, sure, it had been a tempting offer, and Greg would have
been the first to admit that
he needed a little time away. His touring schedule seemed
to be taking more and more
out of him with each passing year. Still, the fact that
Drew had insisted on no cell phones
and hadn't specified a location should have tipped Greg off. Ryan
had mentioned that
Drew liked to be secretive about these kinds of things, and like
as not, the unexpected
cropped up.
Things had gone fine the first two days. Greg spent most of
his time either in his room or
playing chess with Brad and Drew. That got a little old
about the third time he'd beaten
Drew and the second time he'd gone stalemate with Brad, but
still, he could think of
worse ways of spending the afternoons. It really was
peaceful, he'd had to admit.
It had started to snow the second night. By the third
morning--this morning--it was a
full-on blizzard. They'd waited all day for the storm to
blow itself out, sitting in a kind
of tense silence, waiting for their ride back to
civilization. Naturally it didn't show up,
although the storm finally died down.but not after depositing
well over a foot of snow
on the ground. In some places, like the side of the cabin,
the drifts were two feet deep.
Ryan's quiet baritone brought Greg back to reality.
"It's not that big a deal," the tall man
said. "We've got plenty of food and stuff here.
Although," he added with a grimace,
"I'm sure my wife would like to know that I'm still
alive."
"Yeah, mine too," Colin agreed. "But what
can we do? No point in worrying about it."
"So what are we going to do then?" Brad asked.
"It's still pretty early."
Drew got up and wandered over to the table. "Is there
any beer left? If we're staying,
then I guess we may as well try to enjoy it."
"Good point," Brad said. He sighed, stretched out
his long, jean-clad legs, and adjusted
his red-and-black flannel pullover. "I think there's
still a couple cases in the back." He
smiled that goofy, but undeniably endearing half-smile of his,
and turned to Greg. "I've
still got the chessboard. Want to see if one of us can
actually win a game?"
Greg shook his head. "Not tonight. It's getting
boring."
"Cards?" Drew suggested. "We could play
poker or something."
It was Ryan who answered: "That's getting old, too,
Drew."
"Well what do you want to do, then?" Drew asked.
"It's not like we have a lot of
options."
"I was just going to go to bed," Colin said.
"I'm kind of tired."
"Yeah," Greg nodded. That thought hadn't been
very far from his mind, either. He'd
brought several books, just in case, and this seemed like a good
time to curl up with
one of them. "That's what I was thinking."
"I think I'm just going to hang out here," Drew
said. "Watch the snow."
Ryan pushed back his chair and stood up. "Well, if
you're all just going to go to bed,
I might as well go, too. Night, guys."
One by one, the five men stood and walked in separate directions:
Greg to his room
on the upper floor; Brad to the other end of the upper floor;
Colin to one end of the
lower hall; Ryan to the other; Drew to the kitchen. Nobody
said a word beyond a
grunt of good night.
Greg closed his door and dug into his suitcase for his blue silk
pajamas and the book
he wanted. When he had them both, he changed his clothes
and then crawled into
bed. He flicked on the lamp at his bedside, silently
thanking God for the generator
outside, and set to reading. It was a good book, one of his
old favorites, and he had
no trouble getting into it.
After ten minutes, though, his concentration began to waver, just
as his mind began
to wander. The more he tried to concentrate, the more his
thoughts turned outward.
Finally, after no more than twenty minutes, he gave up and tossed
the book down.
He thought about going to sleep, but was far too awake.
Since he didn't want to stare at his eyelids, he decided to get
up and see what Drew
was doing. Padding quietly over the hardwood floors, he
walked down the stairs
and back into the living room. To his surprise, everyone
else was up.
"I thought you were going to bed," he said, taking a
seat on the room's only empty
chair. The others, he observed idly, were all wearing their
pajamas. Colin and Brad
had pajamas similar to Greg's, while Ryan and Drew were wearing
sweats and T-shirts.
"None of us felt like sleeping," Brad admitted.
"You either, apparently."
"Guess not," Greg conceded. "So what are we
doing?"
"Just sitting here," Drew said. He shared the
couch with Colin, while Brad and Ryan
each occupied the chairs that flanked the fireplace. A
good-sized fire blazed cheerfully
between them.
A few moments of not-quite-uncomfortable silence followed.
Brad finally broke it by
smiling and saying, "I've got an idea for something to
do. A game we can play."
"What's that?" Colin asked quietly.
His smile taking on just the slightest suggestive cast, Brad
said, "Ever play Truth or
Dare?"
Ryan stared at Brad incredulously before bursting out into
surprised laughter. "You
have got to be kidding me," he said. "That's a
kids' game. My sister and her friends
always used to play it at their slumber parties. It's
stupid."
If Brad was offended by that last, he gave no sign.
Instead, he asked, "Have you got
any suggestions, Ryan?"
"Yeah," Ryan said, standing. "Here's one:
I'm going to bed."
Greg surprised himself by saying, "Sit down, Stiles.
Don't be such a spoil sport." He
hadn't been that keen on the idea, but still, it was something to
do, intelligence factor
notwithstanding.
"Really," Drew agreed. "Come on, Ryan.
This could be fun. What else do we have
to do?"
"I don't see what's so fun about a girl's game," Ryan
muttered, but he sat down.
"Colin, are you in?" Brad asked the quiet Canadian.
"Sure," Colin shrugged. "It'll pass the
time."
"Anyone want a drink before we start?" Greg asked,
popping out of his chair and
walking toward the kitchen. Brad, Colin, and Ryan all
answered in the negative, while
Drew called for a Pepsi. A moment later, Greg walked back
into the living room with
two cans of soda and reclaimed his chair.
"So who's first?" Drew asked, cracking open his soda
and pouring it into his cup.
Greg set his unopened soda down on the coffee table and glanced
at Brad. "Well,
Brad, I think it should be you, since you thought of it. Go
ahead."
"All right," Brad said. He turned and looked
squarely at Ryan. "Since you're making
such a fuss about this, I'm picking on you first. Truth or
dare?"
Ryan smiled sardonically and didn't hesitate to answer,
"Dare. Do your worst,
Sherwood."
"Okay," Brad nodded. "Here's what I want you
to do. Go into the kitchen, bring
out an egg, and then eat the whole thing. Raw. Shell
and all."
Greg wrinkled his nose, and saw that Colin and Drew had similar
expressions of
disgust on their faces. Ryan, however, didn't look
phased. He got up, walked into
the kitchen, and came out with a raw egg, a towel, and a glass.
"I've eaten worse during `Helping Hands'," he
commented, setting the towel down
and then the glass. He cracked the egg into the glass, set
the shells aside, picked up
the glass, and then drank down the contents. A look of pure
revulsion crossed his
face just the same, but he quickly grabbed one of the shell
halves and popped it into
his mouth. A minute later, he took the other one.
After swallowing the whole mess,
he picked a little piece of shell out from between his teeth and
said, "That was nasty."
"Yeah, but you did it," Brad said. "Your
turn."
"All right," Ryan mused. "Who should I pick
on? Mm...Greg. Truth or dare?"
A bit surprised by the choice, Greg thought about it for a
second. After seeing that
gross stunt with the egg, he decided to play it safe.
"Truth."
"All right. Here's something I've always wanted to
know: do you resent Dan for
making Wayne more important than you on the show?"
"A little," Greg admitted. "When I get on
the show nowadays, I do feel like I'm just
another of the so-called 'fourth seaters.' It's not much
fun to sit out for more than a
third of the show when you and Colin and Wayne hardly have to sit
out of anything."
"That's what I thought," Drew piped up.
"I'll talk to Dan about that. See if maybe
we can get you more air time."
"Well," Ryan said, "since I'm only going to be
around for half of next year, that won't
be much of a problem."
"Very true," Greg nodded. "Anyway, it's my
turn now. Mm...Colin. Truth or dare?"
The Canadian raised his eyebrows. "Uh...truth."
"Chicken," Greg teased. "Okay. If you
had a chance to kick one of the cast
members permanently off the show, who would it be and why?"
"Are we talking about the regulars or the guests?"
"The regulars."
There was a long pause as Colin thought about it.
"Don't you dare repeat this, but I
think...probably Chip. He's great, don't get me wrong, but
I think between him, you,
me, Ryan, Wayne, and Brad, he's the weakest link."
Satisfied, Greg nodded and sat back. "Your turn."
Colin chose Drew, and when Drew chose a dare, he made Drew stand
outside in the
cold for one full minute. Drew did it, and when he came
back in a minute later,
shivering and cursing, he chose Brad. Drew made Brad do a strip
tease. The game
was sure on by then.
It was funny, Greg observed about an hour later, how little
they'd actually just talked.
They found out about things they never knew about each
other. Like Colin, who
respected Wayne's singing ability, but sometimes got a little
annoyed with the young
man's explosive onstage personality. Like Brad, who had
been caught jerking off in
a school bathroom when he was seventeen. Like Drew, who had
once fallen off the
stage during a stand-up routine and broken a guy's glasses.
Like Ryan, who had
actually forgotten Drew and Colin's names when he'd met
them. And Greg himself,
who envied people like Ryan and Colin who could just go out
onstage and say or do
anything and not get embarrassed by it.
The game was starting to wind down when Brad said,
"Ah. I've got one for you,
Ryan. Truth or dare?"
"Truth," Ryan answered. He'd only answered a few
questions, sticking mostly to the
dares.
"Have you ever thought about having sex with a man, and if
so, who?"
Ryan had taken a drink of water, but spit it out into the fire
when he heard the question.
The water hissed where it contacted the burning wood. Ryan,
meanwhile, recovered
his composure and cocked an eyebrow at Brad.
"Why?" he shot back. "You offering?"
"No," Brad said. "Answer the question."
"Where the hell did you come up with that, anyway?"
"Call me curious."
"Quit stalling and answer the question, Ryan," Colin
jumped in, with a strange little
smile on his face.
Ryan looked at Colin for a moment and frowned just
slightly. He opened his mouth
to speak, but paused before finally shaking his head in
resignation. "All right, all right.
I have."
"Was it one of us?" Drew asked, grinning and licking
his lips seductively.
"Not you," Ryan said, shaking his head. "As
for who, uh," he hesitated and sighed,
cheeks red with embarrassment. "It was...Colin."
Drew burst out laughing, while Brad smiled knowingly. Greg
glanced at Colin and
saw the Canadian roll his eyes and shake his head. Well, it was
kind of funny, but
entirely too predictable. After all, it was only natural
for Colin to be the one Ryan
thought about.
"Drew, shut up," Colin said, sounding acutely
annoyed. "It's not funny."
"No, it's not," Ryan snapped.
"Yeah, it is," Drew said, but he stopped laughing just
the same. "What have you
thought about doing, Ryan?"
"I've already answered my question, thank you," Ryan
growled. "Greg, truth or
dare?"
A little startled by the defensiveness in Ryan's tone, Greg
shrugged. "Uh, truth."
"Okay," Ryan said. "You're on a deserted
island with just the four of us. Which
one do you pick to sleep with?"
Mmm....tough call. "Brad, probably," Greg
said. After a moment's consideration,
he added, "Because you and Colin would pair off, and I'd
rather have Brad than
Drew." Colin and Ryan exchanged a quick glance at
that. It wasn't much, but it
was enough to raise Greg's curiosity. "Okay,
Col. Truth or Dare?"
"Truth."
"Have you ever thought about having sex with Ryan?"
Colin's shoulders slumped and he covered his eyes with one hand.
Ryan, meanwhile,
adopted the same position. Interesting. Greg glanced
at Brad and Drew, and saw
the two of them grinning from ear to ear. It wasn't often
that anything humiliated
Ryan and Colin the way this did.
"Ah...well," Colin started hesitantly.
"Colin," Ryan interrupted, looking up sharply, eyes
wide with alarm. "Don't."
"He has to," Brad said. "Answer the
question, Colin."
Colin shrugged and smiled. "I know." His
neck and ears were pink with embarrassment.
"Uh...well...I-yeah. I have."
Brad and Drew burst out laughing. Ryan covered his face
with both hands. Greg
chuckled, although he wasn't entirely surprised. What
caught his attention was the look
in Ryan's eyes. The alarm, almost as if Ryan were afraid
Colin would give away some
piece of information. Whoa. There's no way.
"Hey, there's a second part to this," Greg said
hastily, before Colin could get his footing.
"Have you and Ryan actually had sex?"
Silence fell over the room. Colin and Ryan locked gazes,
lightly amused brown eyes
meeting with resigned green. It was almost as if they saw
nothing else. Drew and Greg
and Brad exchanged glances and watched the pair watch each other.
Ryan shook his head slightly. Colin sighed and broke the
gaze, dropping his eyes until
he was staring at the floor between his feet. "Uh, not
that it matters much anymore,"
he said, "but yes. Yes, we have. Once."
"A long time ago," Ryan added, subdued.
"What happened isn't important. What is
important is that we promised we'd never talk about it again, and
until now, we haven't."
"But obviously we've never forgotten," Colin finished.
Greg supposed he shouldn't have been surprised, but he was.
It was one thing to tease
the two of them about the way they acted, but quite another to
discover what they'd
done. "You really did it?"
"Yes," Colin nodded. "Five or six years
ago. I can't remember when, exactly, but now
that you know, we would both appreciate it if you didn't mention
it. In fact, forget you
heard us say it. It was a mistake, we're over it. No
big deal." But there was something
in his eyes just then, a trace of sadness, perhaps, that belied
his last statement. Whatever
it was, his good cheer disappeared and he stood. "I'm
going to bed."
"Yeah, me too," Ryan sighed. "Good night,
guys."
"Night," Greg called, and was echoed by Brad and Drew.
As soon as the two had gone, Drew turned to Greg and Brad and
asked, "Who would
have guessed?"
"I don't know," Greg murmured. "I really
don't."
**
Ryan and Colin walked quietly side-by-side to the hall leading
toward their rooms. As
soon as he was sure it was safe, Ryan turned to Colin with a
small smile and brushed the
Canadian's cheek with one hand. "Nice cover," he
said. "Think they bought it?"
Colin shrugged and covered Ryan's hand with his own.
"Yeah. You thought I was going
to tell them everything, didn't you?"
"Yeah," Ryan admitted. "Quick
thinking."
"I can't wait until we get away from here, so we can have a
little alone time."
"Makes two of us, buddy. Makes two of us."
THE END