“Get undressed.”
As Ryan Stiles reached out and grabbed
hold of his left arm above the elbow, pulling him
forward with a gentle tug, Colin Mochrie couldn’t
restrain the giggle that slipped past his defenses.
He stepped forward and snickered again as Ryan took
several steps ahead of him, then turned around to
watch, his large hands clasped loosely in front of his
waist.
Colin glanced up at Ryan’s eyes, and their
eyes locked for a second. Although Colin looked
titillated, Ryan returned his gaze with a bland look
and patiently waited for his friend to obey the
command. In that silent understanding that had taken
twenty years to develop, the two men sent an unspoken
message to one another. Ryan lifted his head
slightly, not smiling or looking the least bit amused.
Colin sobered up and his face smoothed out, and his
hands came up to the collar of his red shirt.
Colin’s fingers moved deftly over the
buttons of the shirt, and as he reached the bottom
button he tossed his arms back in a casting-off
motion. He lowered his hands towards his belt, still
staring at Ryan with a blank expression. His hands
roamed over the belt and zipper of his khaki pants,
then he stood in place and wiggled his hips in an
up-and-down rocking motion, simultaneously drawing his
fists down over his hips. He took a step sideways and
threw his left arm out to the side, then stood there
and looked balefully at Ryan, his hands limp at his
sides and his chin lowered.
Ryan paused and studied his friend’s
posture for a second. Colin looked so vulnerable,
open and uncertain in that moment (naked, his brain
echoed) that Ryan almost felt guilty for asking him to
do it. He drew in a deep breath and looked down at
his friend’s crotch, curling his right hand slightly…
Then he mimed throwing a ring onto Colin’s
“erect” penis several times. Colin stood there and
watched as Ryan made one tossing motion after another
towards him. The audience broke into laughter as Brad
Sherwood hit the buzzer, a smirk of familiarity on his
face. Finally, Colin released his suppressed grin and
took a step back onto the “World’s Worst” step with
Ryan by his side.
“Oh, man,” he said in a low voice.
Ryan smiled. “Hey, it worked,” he replied
as he cupped his hand over the microphone on his
chest.
The two men watched as Drew Carey stepped
forward from beside Colin and made the standard
announcement before the commercial break, deliberately
ignoring the looks that Wayne Brady and Brad Sherwood
(not to mention the rest of the crew and the audience
members) tossed in their direction.
“Oh, man,” Colin repeated with a shake of
his head.
“Hey, it could’ve been worse,” Ryan
mumbled. “I thought about using you like a mechanical
bull and riding you.”
“Oh, man.”