A sharp, shrill sound punctured a hole the blanket of silence
that had wrapped
Ryan Stiles in sleep. Blearily, he wiped at eyes that protested
the rude awakening.
Throwing his hand across his chest, he reached for the object the
obnoxious
noise was coming from...his telephone.
"H'llo?" he groused into the receiver. Whoever it was
better have a damn good
reason for waking him out of a sound sleep.
"Ryan, how are you, buddy?"
It took more than a couple of seconds before Ryan could actually
put a name
with the voice. "Colin?" he asked with surprise. The
surprise quickly turned to
annoyance when he glanced at the digital clock at his bedside.
"Do you have
any idea what time it is?"
There was a long pause. "Um...looks like three A.M to
me," came Colin's slightly
slurred response.
Ryan shook his head. "What do you want at this hour,
Col?"
"I...I need a ride home, can you give me one?" Colin
asked with hesitation.
Ryan frowned in concern. "What happen to your car?" The
comedian sat up
straighter in bed and switched hands as a thought occurred to
him. "You weren't
in an accident were you?" Ryan could have sworn he heard a
softly muttered 'I
only wish'.
"No, no accident," Colin Mochrie quickly assured his
long-time friend. "I...well...
it's kinda embarrassing actually."
"What Col, just tell me," Ryan demanded into the phone.
"I'm at O'Riley's and they took my keys away, said I had too
much to drink.
Can you believe that?" the Canadian asked indignantly.
Now Ryan was even more concerned. Colin wasn't the type to go
overboard
on his drinking. Something was going on. "Stay there and
I'll be there to pick you
up in about twenty minutes, all right?"
"Sure," Colin responded. "And Ryan...thanks,"
he said in a barely audible voice.
As soon as Ryan hung up the phone, he rushed around the house.
Picking up a
pair of cotton pants he'd discarded earlier, he climbed into them
and then found
a shirt that would serve the purpose. Grabbing the keys to his
car, he slammed
the door behind him.
The light early morning traffic made it easy for Ryan to maneuver
the streets and
get to the bar he wanted in more than a timely fashion, making it
there in half the
time he thought it would take him with the help of a heavy foot
on the accelerator.
Parking quickly, he made his way inside the ill-lit,
foul-smelling establishment.
Most of the time this place wasn't such a dive, but considering
the hour, only the
unsavory and hard-core drinkers seemed to be left to sporadically
fill the place.
Even with the dim lighting, it wasn't hard for Ryan to spot
Mochrie, as his friend
was one of the few filling the stools at the bar. Walking up
behind his friend, Ryan
lightly laid his hands on Colin's shoulders and was surprised
when Colin nearly
jumped at the touch.
"Ryan, I didn't see you come in," Colin explained after
turning around.
Though Ryan was greeted with a smile, he could tell it was only a
pale imitation
of the real thing. It didn't meet Colin's hazel eyes. He squeezed
the shorter man's
shoulders. "Well, I'm here, so let's go." With a quick
glance, Ryan noticed more
than a couple of shot glasses and several empty beer glasses
resting in front of
his friend. "Maybe we can stop somewhere and get some
coffee." Ryan took
out his wallet and laid a twenty next to the empties, certain it
would be enough
to cover the other comedian's tab.
Colin got up and grabbed his coat without comment and stood up.
Taking a
couple of steps, he faltered and Ryan caught him.
"Easy there, Col," Ryan murmured, slipping the leather
jacket over Colin's
shoulders. Colin shook off the hold.
The taller man followed close behind the blond as he steered
Colin towards the
car.
"I don't want to go home," Colin said, once settled
into the passenger's side.
Ryan's brow furrowed. "Why not?"
"Look, can we just not talk about it right now, all
right?" Colin asked, sinking
into the leather bucket seat.
"Hey, you're the one who called me, remember?" Ryan
snapped, jamming his
key into the ignition and throwing the car into gear.
"Well I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to call. Drew wasn't
home, so I tried
you. Didn't mean to wake you up," Colin replied, his apology
not sounding all
that sincere.
"Well...you know...for something like this, I don't mind
that much," Ryan granted,
giving the man next to him a sideways glance. "So...if you
don't want to go home,
where to then?"
"I don't know, anywhere, I don't care. Just as long as it's
not back home," Colin
declared.
Ryan noticed the moonlight casting a pale light over his friend's
wan features.
Obviously the other man needed some time to collect his thoughts
and while he
couldn't help Colin with that, at least he could offer his
long-time friend a place
of refuge. "All right, we're going to my place then."
"Ryan, I don't want to put you out. Drop me off at a hotel
or something," Colin
insisted.
Ryan glanced over at him. "You're not putting me out, you
should know that
by now. I want you to stay," he pressed, settling the issue
for good.
"What about Trisha and the kids?" Colin asked softly.
"They're spending a week at my sister's," Ryan replied.
"And you're not putting
me out," he reaffirmed.
The rest of the ride was in silence. Ryan wanted to give Colin
his space, hoping
it would bring him closer to sharing whatever had happened that
had affected
him so profoundly. Colin seemed content with the silence that was
only broken
by the sound of the radio playing a soft tune.
When Ryan reached his home again, he still said nothing as he
unlocked the door
and let Colin enter. Ryan walked past the blond and into the
kitchen to start
making some coffee. When he came back with two steaming cups, he
saw
Colin slumped on his couch, head down and arms resting on his
legs.
Ryan held one of the cups out. "So what's going on?"
When Colin looked up, his hazel eyes glistened when they met
Ryan's. "She's
left me, Ryan, she actually left me."
Ryan blinked a couple of times and sunk onto the sofa next to the
older man.
"Deb?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah," Colin choked out.
"What happened?" Ryan asked, the disbelief evident in
his voice.
"It was that damn gym she was going to," Colin spat.
"She ended up meeting
this lawyer there. Daniel Witmire...that's what she said his name
was." Colin's
voice quavered, but he went on. "Said she'd been seeing him
for four months
now. Can you believe that? Four months and I didn't have a clue.
God, I
must have been stupid or blind or... something."
Ryan stared into his friend's pain-filled eyes. He couldn't
believe what he'd
been told. Deb had always seemed like she loved Colin. They'd
been through
a lot together over the years and though times had been rocky,
they'd always
hung in there to make it work.
"She said she loves him, wants a divorce so she can marry
him," Colin said in
a voice so hushed that Ryan had to strain to hear it.
.
"Are you going to give it to her?" Ryan found himself
asking.
"Why try to fight it? If she doesn't want to be with me
anymore, I certainly can't
make her stay," Colin stated wearily. "In fact, she's
already moved in with him."
"What about Luke?" Ryan had to ask, knowing how much
Colin loved his son.
"I...I don't know yet," Colin whispered. "It's
happened so fast, we haven't
even really talked about that yet. Luke's staying with her right
now and she
said I'd have half custody and full visitation rights."
Colin's hazel eyes sought
out Ryan's. "What am I going to do?"
Without taking conscious note of it, Ryan slid his arms around
the other man's
hunched shoulders and drew him near. "For starters, you're
going to take a
shower and get a decent night's sleep." Tomorrow he'd call a
lawyer of his own
that he knew well. He'd do everything in his power to make sure
Deb's new
lover didn't try something to screw Colin out of his rights with
Luke.
Ryan left only long enough to rummage around in his bedroom
dresser and
return with a pair of black silk pajamas over his arm. He tossed
them over to
Colin.
"Here you go, they might be a little large on you, but they
should work," Ryan
said. "You know where the bathroom is."
Colin grabbed the silks. "Thanks," Colin whispered.
"For everything."
Ryan just shrugged it off and mumbled, "No problem."
After Colin disappeared into the bathroom, Ryan waited until he
heard the
sound of water running. He then changed back into his own dark
blue silk
pajamas and gathered up some blankets and a pillow for when he
pulled his
sofa out to make it into a bed.
Noticing there was a slight chill in the air, Ryan decided to put
his fireplace to
use and lit a glowing fire after making sure the flue was cleared
out. He was just
putting the cast iron gating back in front of it when a thought
occurred to him.
"Hey, Colin? When was the last time you ate?" he called
out loudly to be heard
over the rushing water. The lengthy pause that came as his answer
let Ryan
know Colin probably hadn't thought of such rudimentary things
like eating lately.
"Never mind, I'll fix us something."
Padding barefoot into the kitchen, Ryan opened the refrigerator
to see what he
could find. In amongst some old pizza, some cold fried chicken
and something
unidentifiable in foil, he managed to find some beef stew.
Pulling out the
container, he spooned some into a pan on the stove and began to
heat it up.
He also cut off a couple of hunks of Trisha's homemade bread on
the counter.
Topping off each of their coffee cups, Ryan also gave allowance
of adding a
shot of brandy in each one. He figured tonight it wouldn't hurt
to take the edge
off. Finally, he sliced a couple of apples and heated a small bowl
of honey for
them before pilling all the food onto a tray and carrying it into
the living room.
Colin was now seated in front of the sofa, knees drawn up to his
chest,
looking into the fire in front of him. He turned his head and
lifted an eyebrow
when he saw the food Ryan was bearing.
"You expecting Roseanne Barr or something?" Colin
asked, no trace of a smile.
Ryan didn't smile either. "You haven't eaten all day, have
you?" He only got a
guilty look in response. "I didn't think so. Eat up, then we
can get some sleep."
Sitting the tray on the floor near their feet, Ryan sat beside
his friend. Closing
his eyes for a moment, he let the heat from the fire warm his
skin. When he
opened them again, he found Colin, not having the energy to
protest, sipping
on a bowl of the stew. Each ate in silence.
Ryan watched with satisfaction as the soup and bread both
disappeared and
Colin began on the apple slices. He couldn't help noticing the
fine lines etched
around his friend's eyes, the shadows flickering within the
translucent glow of
the flickering flames. The older man was starting to show his
age, looking
ashen and tired. God, how he longed to see that face lit up with
that soft smile
Colin could have. He couldn't even remember the blond comedian
ever looking
like this before. Even though he made a living out of making
people laugh, he
found himself at a loss at how to comfort his friend when it
actually counted.
"Maybe it's better off this way," Colin murmured,
dunking a chunk of apple
into the honey and bringing up to his mouth to bite into.
"What? What are you talking about?" Ryan asked, sipping
on the last of his
coffee.
Colin shrugged. "Maybe she just sensed what I didn't want to
admit to."
Ryan took a chance to slide his gaze over to the other man. The
firelight cast
crimson highlights woven through what was left of Colin's hair.
"What do you
mean? What didn't you want to admit to?"
"Not being totally happy," Colin admitted, giving voice
to his thoughts.
Ryan's gaze was incredulous. "I thought you loved her."
"I did...do," Colin reassured him. "But...."
"But what?" Ryan prodded when Colin trailed off.
"But sometimes loving someone just isn't enough when...you
feel like
something's missing," Colin explained in a hushed tone.
Ryan wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer, but he found the
question
pulled from his lips anyway. "What's missing?"
Colin's hazel eyes focused fully into Ryan's. "What I
thought I found ten years
ago on New Year's Eve."
Ryan inhaled sharply, his throat tightening up. Until now, they'd
had a silent
agreement that had never been breached...an agreement not to
discuss that
New Year's Eve ten years ago...the one night they had spent in
each other's
arms as lovers.
The night had started out innocuous enough. They had started out
at a party
of a mutual friend of theirs. Rick, the same friend who had
introduced them
to each other many years ago, was holding the party. They had all
had a
good time drinking and having fun until time came for the
midnight New Year's
kiss. On a dare, Ryan pulled Colin into his arms and was laughing
as he kissed
the shorter man. The laughter didn't last long once the joking
kiss somehow
turned soft, tender, passionate, and all too very real. It had
only been the first
kiss of many that night. The year was birthed anew while they
experienced a
night of discovery and ecstasy together.
Though it had rocked both of them to their centers, the following
morning both
were unwilling to acknowledge what had happened between them.
Instead of
talking about it, they simply fell into the pattern of friendship
that was both
familiar and much more easily dealt with.
"Col, you don't know what you're saying," Ryan said,
his voice betraying him
as it came out thick and throaty.
"Why not?" Colin whispered, his voice just as low and
husky. "Ryan, when I
think about it, there's only one person who's supported me,
encouraged me
from the very beginning of my career. There's only one person
who's always
been there for me nearly half of my life. One person who wouldn't
let me give
up on my dreams and even helped them come true by encouraging the
powers
that be to hire me, not caring it might have been a risk to his
own career...."
"Colin, I...." Ryan floundered, at a complete loss for
words and suddenly
acutely aware of how close the older man was to him. He felt warm
and
flushed and somehow knew it wasn't from the close proximity of
the fireplace.
Suddenly Colin chuckled mirthlessly. "Hell, I must have had
more to drink
than I thought I did. Especially since I know you don't feel that
way about me."
"Now wait a minute," Ryan protested, trying to collect
his scattered thoughts.
"Where do you get that idea?"
"What? That you don't feel that way about me?" Colin
asked. "When you didn't
want to talk about what happened that night, it made it pretty
obvious to me.
After that, I just kept telling myself we weren't anything but
friends. I figured if
I kept saying it enough, I'd start to believe it...and I did
after awhile."
Ryan's hand stole out, fingers sliding down Colin's smooth hand
and entwining
their fingers. "Colin, I didn't realize you felt this way.
The only reason I didn't
say anything about it is because I didn't want to ruin what we
had...our friendship.
Nothing was worth risking that, but don't for one second think
that night didn't
matter to me." Ryan's voice dropped in tone. "It meant
more to me than you
know and I wanted every moment of it as much as you did."
"And what about now?" Colin whispered. "Still feel
the same way?"
The inches that separated them evaporated in the space of a
breath. Not
knowing who made the first move, the only awareness Ryan had was
the feel
of Colin's soft lips brushing against his own. Breath, hot and
sweet, mingled
with his own as Ryan teased the tender, plaint skin. The faintest
feeling of a tip
of a tongue tracing along his lips sent a shiver down the center
of his spine.
"Yeah," Ryan whispered hoarsely, his hand coming up to
cup and caress
Colin's cheek. God help him, but he couldn't deny the answer.
"Yeah, I still
feel the same way."
Ryan watched Colin move to straddle his lap, felt heat and silk
settle against
him as his hands ran up the length of Colin's back. He felt the
twisting of
muscles moving under the soft material as Colin wrapped his arms
around his
neck. Ryan's eyes were drawn to Colin's lips as they each moved
towards
the other to once more bring their mouths together.
Their lips were crushed against each other, meeting in a hard,
demanding kiss
that bespoke of need too long ignored. Colin's fingers wound in
the curls in the
back of Ryan's head, holding him immobile he licked and nibbled
at the tender
flesh. Colin's tongue probed against his and Ryan felt his own
mouth opening
up to allow him access.
Ryan moaned softly as his mouth was explored by the other man,
his own
sliding against Colin's, engaging in a slow battle...thrusting,
dueling as the taste
of the Canadian was intoxicating. It was a taste he'd nearly
forgotten, but the
memory of it came flooding back full force and he could feel
body eagerly
responding on its own accord.
As Colin's tongue teased against his inner-cheek, danced across
the enamel
of his teeth, flitted against the roof of his mouth, Ryan's hands
slid down Colin's
back and cupped the silk clad rear with both hands. He pulled
Colin hard
against him, catching his breath when he felt the firmness of
Colin's length
nestle against his own.
Ryan felt agile fingers going to work to unbutton the silk top he
was wearing.
Cool air tinged with the warmth of the fire hit his bare skin
when Colin pushed
the material off his shoulders. Colin's soft lips gently kissed
and nipped their
way down Ryan's throat, not enough to hurt, but hard enough to
leave faint
marks on the exposed skin while broad hands caressed Ryan's
chest.
Ryan buried his face in Colin's neck as the older man's
fingertips flicked against
his nipples, teasing the stiff peaks until they ached. Ryan's own
hands restlessly
kneaded Colin's rear, pressing himself tightly against Colin's
groin. Colin
pressed back against him insistently, grinding his body into
Ryan's. The double
layer of silk provided no barrier to the growing heat and only
added to their
frustration. Ryan shoved his hands down the elastic band of the
pajamas and
filled his palms with warm flesh, fingers digging into the taunt
muscles.
"You feel so good, want you so much," Ryan whispered
against Colin's mouth.
"I want you too, need you," Colin murmured, nuzzling
against Ryan's throat,
his fingers wrapped around Ryan's shoulders.
Slowly, Ryan leaned Colin back until he was lying on the soft,
gray carpeting.
He took a moment to let his eyes run appreciatively over his
lover's body
before meeting warm, wanton, soft eyes. Resting on his forearms,
Ryan
blanketed Colin's body with his own. The taller man felt Colin
shiver against
him as he purposefully rubbed their groins together, his knee
working
between Colin's to open them to fit against him even more snugly.
Ryan worked his hips, grinding against the man under while his
lips hovered
above Colin's, barely touching but letting his tongue tease the
inside of Colin's
bottom lip. Colin groaned in response. Fingers grasping and
twisting against
Ryan's pajama bottoms, Colin yanked down hard on the silk,
heedful of the
thick erection, and pulled them down Ryan's thighs, baring his
firm sex.
Ryan hissed as Colin's hand slid between them, knowing fingers
wrapped
around his manhood and stroked him in a sure rhythm. Sensations,
mini-
explosions of pleasure, cascaded through Ryan causing white light
to burst
behind closed eyelids. He moaned deep in his throat and it took
every effort
to clamp his fingers around Colin's wrist and still the
tormenting hand.
"Not yet," Ryan pleaded in a broken, thick voice.
"We've got all night, let's
make the most of it."
Dragging in a deep, shaky breath, Colin nodded his head and let
Ryan bring
his hand up to caress Ryan's cheek. Ryan turned his head and laid
a kiss in
the center of palm and pulled himself back to rest on his knees.
Ryan felt Colin's keen gaze resting on him, watching his every
movement, as he
slid the silk pants the rest of the way down his thighs and off
before reaching for
the other man. Button by button, Ryan revealed the pale skin of
Colin's torso
that looked almost golden under the flames from the hearth.
Tawny flames licked at the planes and valleys, chasing the
tenebrous shadows
and begging Ryan to taste and touch it everywhere. He let his
fingers spread
wide over Colin's chest in a light, exploratory touch, letting
his fingertips tracing
sporadic patterns across the muscles and dips. He lingered over a
nipple,
brushing it with the pad of his thumb while watching the
expression on Colin's
face.
Ryan had to smile to himself. Maybe Colin wasn't exactly what
most people
would consider exceptionally good-looking by most standards, but
with the look
in the older man's eyes...the intensity of passion mixed with
affection...Ryan
couldn't imagine anyone looking any sexier to him. Bending his
head, Ryan
tentatively licked at a nipple and was rewarded with a staggering
groan before
moving to the other, holding Colin as he squirmed when Ryan
latched onto it.
Hands and mouth worked in concert as Ryan let his fingers travel
up and down
Colin's thighs, stroking and caressing the lithe limbs under the
cumbersome cloth.
Slowly, his fingers worked closer and close to the hard column of
flesh that was
zealously pressing against its fabric confinement. The fingers in
Ryan's hair were
definitely encouraging Ryan's head down further, closer to the
growing ache that
matched Ryan's own.
"Ryan...please," Colin implored with urgency.
With a mischievous gleam in his eyes, Ryan thought of prolonging
Colin's torture,
but the honest need radiating from dazed hazel eyes tugged at his
conscience and
he knew he couldn't do that. Working his way down Colin's
stomach, twirling his
tongue inside the navel, Ryan moved until he hovered over Colin's
groin.
The black fabric clung to the evident arousal damply. Ryan took a
moment to
nuzzle against the inside of Colin's thigh before turning his
face to wetly lick at
the still-clothed manhood. One hand moved to cup Colin's
testicles, cradling
them and fondling them in his large palm, while his mouth kissed
at the length
striving to meet him. The hand on the back of his head pressed
Ryan down hard
as Colin arched up to the mouth as the younger man teased the tip
through the
fabric, able to smell and taste the leaking arousal even through
the barrier.
Colin was murmuring inarticulate endearments that Ryan could
barely make out,
amazed at how quickly he'd been able to reduce Colin to
incoherence. Gently
he hooked his fingers into the band and pulled the fabric down,
letting the
flushed, solid erection bob forth against his lips before drawing
it into his mouth.
Ryan closed his eyes, allowing himself to concentrate fully on
the taste and feel
inside of his mouth. The slick heat, the salty unique flavor he'd
only sampled once
before, filled his mouth as he steadily, rhythmically took Colin
over and over again.
His hands anchored Colin's hips, not letting him thrust up too
hard as he savored
and sampled every inch, learning all over again the patterns of
veins and teasing
the leaking crown, feeling it pulse and throb in time to the ache
at his own groin.
"Oh God, Ryan, so hot...so good," Colin groaned out.
Ryan made full use of his cheeks, tongue, and teeth to bring
Colin to the
breaking point several times, holding him on the edge and then
pulling the older
man back. The Canadian writhed and bucked against him with
growing ardor.
When it seemed to be too much, Colin grabbed the sides of Ryan's
head and
pulled him up and away to kiss him long and hard, their shafts
bumping and
rubbing against each other.
"In me...now," Colin whispered in between panting
breaths.
"Are you sure you want this?" Ryan asked, hit by a wave
of sudden uncertainty.
His body ached, knew what it wanted, but he wasn't going to do a
thing unless
he was sure Colin wanted it too.
The invasion of Colin's tongue inside his mouth hit him hard and
fast as he felt his
own shaft being stroked once more in a rhythm similar to the one
he'd taken
Colin with.
"Jesus, yes, I want this," Colin whispered fiercely.
With a lingering kiss to Colin's lips, Ryan pulled himself away
and out of Colin's
arms. "Gonna need some help," he murmured, waiting
until Colin nodded his
understanding.
Ryan didn't waste time in slipping off to the bathroom and
searching the cabinet
for something...anything...that could be used. His fingers found
and clutched a
small bottle of baby oil. Shutting the cabinet, he took a second
to focus on
the mirror. His face was flushed while his eyes were hazed and
dilated. Small
red marks led his eyes down to his heaving chest and further down
to even
more evidence of his quickly rising passion. He looked like he
was damn near
out of control.
Ryan closed his eyes and took a deep breath into his lungs, held
it and let it
escape through parted, swollen lips. He knew he had to find some
way to
balance the onslaught of emotions and sensations that threatened
to consume
him, or else there'd be a chance that in his uncurbed eagerness
to please Colin,
he might just end up hurting him. That simply wasn't an option.
He wanted it to
be good...no...better than good. He didn't want to leave Colin
with any doubts
about what this meant to him.
Ryan waited until the waves of longing ebbed a little and he
could think more
clearly. Only then did he trust himself to return to Colin again.
In his absence, Ryan had discovered that Colin had pulled out the
sofa bed
and had thrown some sheets onto it. The older man was waiting for
him with
a look of adoring anticipation on his face.
Ryan climbed into the bed and into Colin's arms, greeted with
soft, sensual
kisses. Both pairs of hands caressed and soothed, excited and
pacified. Like
tinder to a fire, they let the passion flair and smolder,
enjoying the easy loving
touches, but both longing for more.
"Ready for this?" Ryan asked, his fingers teasing the
cleft between Colin's
cheeks.
"No," Colin said with a mischievous smile. "Wasn't
ready for it ten years ago
either, but that sure didn't stop me then. Isn't going to stop me
now either."
His hand stroked up and down Ryan's chest. "I need
this."
Ryan moved in between Colin's spread knees, resting back on his
own knees as
he let some of the oil coat his fingers. His eyes locked onto
Colin's as he slowly
slid the finger past the muscular opening and into the depths of
the older man.
Colin caught his breath, Ryan feeling the immediate clamping down
against his
gently probing finger. "Relax, Col, trust me."
"You know I do," Colin responded in a strained voice.
To deflect Colin's attentions, Ryan concentrated on laying soft
kisses on every
piece of skin he could reach. Butterfly kisses rained down on
Colin's stomach,
light licks against his thigh, all while Ryan's free hand
caressed his chest, and
over his hip and leg.
Slowly Ryan could feel the easing of the tension in Colin's
muscles and used
that knowledge to not only massage and relax the incredibly tight
passage, but
to add a second and then a third finger. Patiently he worked the
muscle until it
was supple and pliant. By this time, Colin was moaning, body
shaking, and
covered in a fine sheen of perspiration.
"God, Ryan...don't make me wait...need it now," Colin
encouraged.
Ryan pulled his fingers free, forcing himself to ignore Colin's
moan of frustration.
Taking the oil in hand, he quickly coated his own erection,
anticipation tightening
in his stomach like a hard knot. Slowly he moved to position
himself against
Colin's body, the knot threatening to move up into his throat as
he pulled Colin's
legs over his own. His heart pounded, thudding loudly in his
ears, as he forced
himself to remember to breathe.
A barrage of doubts flew through his mind. Was this right? How
would it affect
their friendship? Was this the right time or was Colin's pain
over Deb still too
deep? His eyes sought out Colin's and found so much love
reflected right back
at him that it was like finding the eye of a storm. How could it
be wrong when it
felt so right?
With that one simple truth calming his mind, Ryan leaned in to
kiss Colin's
swollen lips firmly and let his body join with Colin's.
Ryan swallowed the moan torn from Colin as the older man's body
protested
against the intrusion. Ryan held himself there, just a few inches
inside, until he
felt the gradual relaxing and acceptance from the tight passage,
Colin's hands
on his hips pulling him forward. Slowly, he sunk into the
channel, feeling
lightheaded from the sensations. 'Damn, I almost forgot how hot
and tight he
was,' Ryan thought, surprised he had even that much coherency
left.
Ryan slowly merged with him, only to pull back once more and sink
in again
shallowly. Memories of a night long ago began to mingle and
coalesce with
the present as Ryan's body began to move in concert with Colin's.
The pace Ryan set at first was slow and easy, wanting Colin to
become
accustomed, but when Colin started responding with fervor, Ryan
felt it a
struggle to hold back. Colin sensed this and tried to show him
with his body
that Ryan didn't have cause to hold back. Muscles clamped down on
Ryan,
squeezing him within the constricting confines of Colin's body
while strong
hands tugged and pulled at him, urging him to go faster and
harder while
Colin's hips rocked up into his with force.
Ryan knew his own control was like a loose thread, meticulously
being
picked and threatened to unravel at any moment. He picked up
speed, his
thrusting pushing Colin deep into the mattress under them as the
springs
creaked and groaned under their combined weight in harmony.
Colin's fingers dug into his hipbones painfully, though the
sensation was
washed under all the others. Faster and faster he drove into
Colin, feeling
the edge rushing towards them full force and not knowing how to
evade it,
not even knowing if he wanted to. He wanted to take time, to love
slowly
and tenderly, but every emotion, every touch only served to
hamper that
resolve, pushing him closer and closer to the abyss.
Ryan felt the tautness coming over Colin as well, knowing they
were both on the
losing side of the battle, as the older man's ruddy length that
was being abraded
against his abdomen was firm and scorching. Forcing a hand
between them,
Ryan captured the hard length and squeezed it, pumped it as he
thrust into Colin.
"Oh, Ryan, I'm going to...."
Ryan seized Colin's mouth, capturing the explosive cry for his
own as he felt
Colin's entire body shudder and the searing liquid release
flooded across his hand
and their abdomens. The sound, the feel...it was too much and
sent Ryan into a
tailspin over the edge himself. Waves of pleasure towed Ryan
under, sight and
sound blotted out by the magnitude of the massive assault. It
crashed in around
him, threatening to break him into slivers, cutting into him to
the core and leaving
him raw and exposed as he filled Colin's body with his own
completion.
When Ryan drifted lazily back to full awareness, he didn't know
how much
time had passed. It could have been minutes or hours, he didn't
know. All he
was really aware of was Colin's arms holding him tightly to him,
as they were
now on their sides, the feel of sure hands stroking his
sweat-slicked body,
of soft lips against his own.
Ryan held Colin close, just content to look into his eyes and
stroke the body
in his hands. A sense of warmth, contentment, washed over him
bone deep.
"What are you thinking about now?" Ryan asked as a
shadow fell across his
lover's face.
Colin pulled his eyes away from Ryan's. "Just wondering why
it took us ten
years to get things figured out between us," he admitted
softly.
Ryan kissed his lover's broad forehead. "Who knows, maybe we
weren't
ready for it then. At least we know now."
"Yeah, we do," Colin sighed. There was a pause.
"Ryan?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
The words were spoken softly, reverently.
"I love you too," Ryan whispered back.
As the glowing flames in the hearth started to dim, the logs
turning into embers,
Ryan found himself unable to keep his mind still. He couldn't
help wondering
where this night with Colin was going to lead, or what it'd mean
for him and
Trisha if she found out about it. Glancing down at the older man
who had fallen
asleep in his embrace, he knew one thing was certain. His life
was bound to get
a lot more interesting with this funny, loving, man in it.
The beginning.