| Okay, each of my WebFans, here it is: Sullivan's first column. No title, no real value, but hopefully a little fun to read. After perusing for hours about some terribly interesting thing to write, I have decided to tell a few jokes, just to break the ice. 1.) What do you call 36 inches in Glascow? A Scotland Yard! 2.) Walking down the street yesterday, I saw a man with wooden legs and real feet. 3.) I also saw a subliminal advertising executive, but just for a second. And so there it is. Good thing you can't copyright a joke, because my creativity is just as good as my writing. Ha ha ha. No really, I can't believe that anyone may still be reading this. Not only is it improbable that someone enter Justin's Geocities webpage, but it is almost downright nutty to think that someone might enter a link called Sully's Corner. I mean really, it sounds like I'm a child abuser. "WELCOME TO SULLY'S CORNER, kIDDIES." But really, you don't need to worry, I'm not a priest or anything. Yowzaa! Take that Pope John Paul II! Lately, it looks like the Pope-Mobile is a few gallons short of a full tank, if you know what I mean. I guess we have opened up a real can of worms, ladies and gentlemen, as I regret to inform you that I must discuss my grievances regarding the censorship and, as Bill O'Reilly may put it, Corruption of the American Child by not only the Church, but by MADD, SADD, GLAAD, and even PLAAD. No, actually, I have nothing against plaid. Rows and columns never hurt anybody, and where would society be without Tic-Tac-Toe and flannel shirts. Anyways, if you are so simpleminded that you can't handle the opinions of others than yourself or your local pastor, then you should probably leave. Okay....where was I? Oh yeah, where the hell do these people get off thinking that they can blame TV, Movies, the WWF, and other people than themselves for the tragedies and degradation of society. In the infamous words of Chris Rock: "Whatever happened to just plain CRAZY?". Self-proclaimed "righteous" people are able to blame the very things which make American Society so great only when they are unfit to see their own errors and the sad truth. The Catholic Church has been censoring things for years, not to mention that the book of fables called the Holy Bible was made up only to control society and scare people with the empty threat of eternal damnation. And look where it got THEM! Now Father Whats-his-name is off raping some young boy from his Sunday School class because Jesus simply doesn't get it up for him any more. No, wait, it's okay, they're only playing "Sit on Santa's Lap". And nobody ever simply blames the parents of the kids who bring guns into school. Too bad the kids can't just shoot them. I know that it is sad, but you are telling me that the parents of the two kids who shot-up Columbine didn't realize there was a problem??? Father says: "Well honey, little Bobby and his friend Jimmy are in the garage making bombs and sawing off the ends of shotguns." Mother says: "Okay, just make sure he is home for dinner." Idiotic, simply idiotic. I suppose that ignorance is bliss ladies and gentlemen, and unfortunately I realize that I will be unable to make a difference in the world with this one little artice. I am only one exit on the "Information Superhighway (Circa 1990)", and just like you and possibly the only other person who reads this, I won't have any effect. Are you still here? Oh, I see, you have to pay to get into porno sites now. Just remember that the government is always watching you, especially when you are online. In the words of Lloyd Christmas: "Well, see ya!" Written by Sullivan on April 18, 2002. |
| Sully's Corner- Debut Article |
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