Profiles

Name: The Great High Gaud
Alias: The Greeks called me Apollo, but Harper works.
Age: 11,474
Marital Status: Ok, fine, I admit it, due to extreme threatening. I'm married to a lovely lovely PERSON (I'm not gay, so take a guess) who doesn't really like me very much.
Educational Background: Try my hardest to avoid the stuff.
Hobbies: Numerous, but include Ghetto Games, Video Games, and Divine Justice.
Injuries (minor to serious): Also numerous. Physical injuries including being hit in the head with a lawn chair and falling into a large cactus. But the mental injuries I have suffered at school are much, much worse.
Future Goals: World domination

Name: The Ferret
Alias: Mustafa Bin Laden, Cupcake, Jesus, and Pretty Princess Ballerina, Dante Pop Ali, and My holy name: Dionysus
Age: Undecided
Marital Status: Don't get me wrong, I love poontang as much as any
non-homosexual guy, but there is no way I would ever marry a morally challenged bitch. Update: The Ferret has now been married twice, including a current one, although I doubt he'll be willing to admit to either of these. I have my proof, however, as it was I who performed the ceremonies..
Educational Background: Graduated top of my class 1990, Mrs. Flanning's Preschool. Been really down hill and fucked up since then.
Hobbies: Ghetto Games, Sleeping, Bringing justice to the world.
Injuries (minor to serious): Low self esteem, nail in my foot, dislocated arm, and I torched my right nipple with some fireworks, Now Mental, I am a narcissist with low self esteem. Figure that one out. Paranoia is big, too.

Name: Leroy Alowishious Humpernickel
Alias: Bertha, Apu Nosapaheatapetalon, Butch
Age: 420 and not a year past or under
Marital Status: Marriage? I have a hell of a time just keeping a fucking girlfriend. Why the hell would I wanna spend the rest of my life with someone when I can be out there pimpin' dem hoes!?
Educational Background: Prisoner No. 42010209 at ACHS
Hobbies: Picking my nose, playing bass, lugging around Silent Station's gear in my ghetto truck.
Injuries (minor to serious): Concussion, blue balls, broken thumb. I had huge balls at one time, thought I was blessed, just a hernia. And I currently have an ulcer.
Future Goals: Buy out K-Mart in Fr*******, fire Ph****, strap her ass to a big fucking rocket, and send that motha fucka to the moon!!