Chapter 1:  The Visits

“I feel old, wife. She should not be getting married.”  I say as I look lovingly at my Trudy trying on her dress for the wedding.  “Not so old my husband.  Patsy is only 18.”  My beautiful Trudy tells me.  With a hint of remembering in my voice I say “It seems like it was yesterday that she was that little girl who swapped dares with Cloe to sneak into my room at night.”  “Yours and Ebony’s room as I remember.” Trudy says.  I reply “I don’t recall, wife.”  “Liar”  We share a laugh and I pull her to me.  As we’re kissing each other, our twins, Ghany and Lianla start fussing for our attention.  “We need a vacation away from Ghany and the girls for a few days.”  I say to her.  “You remember what happened the last time we took a trip don’t you?”  “I remember asking you to marry me.” I say to Trudy.  She replies “I remember getting captured and almost losing you.”  I tell her everything worked out fine, then ask if she can handle the babies for a little while.  She says yes and I tell her I’m going for a walk.

As I go for my walk I see my extended family, Lex is the first one I see, sitting on the steps spending time with his little daughter, the light of his life.  “Hey Lex!”  “Jaymes, what’s going on mate?” he asks.  “Just out for a walk.” I tell him, then ask about his lovely wife.  “Ah, you know how she is, out gatherin’ herbs and stuff.  I look to little Zan and say “Hi there little one, how’s the prettiest member of the tribe doing today?”  Lex, in his always joking way says “I’m fine, thanks for asking mate.”  “Good one, Lex.  Well, see you two later.”

Jack and Ellie are together, their love has grown for each other, even though they have no clue how to show it.  I think its fun to watch them bumble through romance.  At the rate they go, they’ll probably be the next wedding we gather for.

Next I go to check Salene and baby Ryan.  Salene has grown up a lot since the baby was born,  and a lot more since Ryan passed on.  Fate is so cruel sometimes and this situation proves it.  Ryan wanted nothing in life but Salene and a baby, and as soon as he got his life’s wish, he was taken in a war with my sister Moz and her tribe.  Salene blamed me for that for a while.  Our strong friendship suffered, but now we are back on good terms again.  Its here I find my other daughter, little Brady.  “Hi Daddy!”  Brady says, as I stand outside the door.  “Hi baby.” I respond to her and then I say “Hi Salene, how’s little Ryan?”  “He’s fine,”  she tells me “Brady’s been helping me take care of him, haven’t you baby?”  Brady smiles big and says “Uh-huh.  Salene says I’m a good helper daddy.”  I smile at her and say “That’s good baby.” Then I ask Salene “You want me to take her with me?”  Salene tells me I don’t have to, but Brady wants to go.

As Brady and I walk, the next person we see is Ebony sitting under the old statue looking sad.  Well, she has a right.  After the events that led to Ebony and I parting ways, she changed herself around a lot.  Changed to the point that she was finally able to prove her love for Bray and they were married.  Just a few months ago, they had a baby, but complications from the birth took Martin a few days after he was born.  Ebony is hurting so much because she thinks her past caused the baby to die.  Brady perks up and says “Aunt Ebony!  Hi.”  I say to Brady “Quiet baby, I think Aunt Ebony wants to be alone.”  Brady doesn’t listen, and she breaks away and walks over to Ebony and sits down beside her.  “Hi Aunt Ebony.”  Ebony brightens up a little and says “Hi Brady.  How are you?”  “Fine.  I love you Aunt Ebbie.”  I sit with them “Where’s Bray?” I ask.  Ebony holds Brady and replies “Emergency leader meeting.  There’s rumors that The Guardian has been sighted outside the city.”  I nod and ask “How are you holding together Eb?”  She shakes her head back and forth.  “Well Brady, we better leave aunt Ebony alone.”  Ebony says “Can I spend some time with her?”  I ask Brady if she wants to spend some time with Ebony and she says yes, so I leave the two of them with each other.

I stop for a moment at the memorial for those lost in the battle with Moz.  Only two names, Ryan and Danni, are on it.  Valiant fighters and dear friends.  I allow a bit of sadness for them now, but perhaps it was to quell that sadness at the time that I reacted as strongly as I did.  Two nights after Ryan and Danni were killed I put my wife and children to bed and I quietly slipped away.  I went to the old factory where I keep my weapons hidden now and I loaded up, and then I went to a ‘friend’ who owed me a favor and convinced him to give me one hundred pounds of his best stuff.  I moved in silently on my sister’s headquarters and silently killed her guards, 14 of them, then I wired the place and destroyed it.  They never identified my sister, so she may or may not have been in there.

“What are you doing Jaymes?”  Cloe’s voice asks.  “Wondering if some choices were the right ones.”  Wise little Cloe says “You can’t be lost in it, Jaymes.  If the choice has been made you have to live with it.”  I hug her and ask “How did you manage to get so smart little girl?”  “I had good teachers.” She smiles.  “Where you off to Cloe?”  she tells me that she’s going to go see Patsy and then she’s going to go see a friend.  “How about you Jaymes?”  I tell her that I’m probably going to visit Amber then maybe head out to the farm.  “I feel like a good day’s work.”  “Trudy won’t like that much.” Cloe says. “Well then, we’ll just have to keep it to ourselves, huh?”

“Come in.”  Amber says as I knock on her door.  “What’s happening Jaymes?”  I tell her it’s such a nice day I thought I’d come out and say hi to everyone.  “Oh, okay” Amber says.  “Why aren’t you at the Leader’s meeting with Bray?”  she grunts and says “He won’t let me go!  How am I supposed to be a tribe leader when Bray won’t let me in on anything?  I mean, you’ve been to more meetings than me Jaymes, and you hate tribe leader meetings.”  After a few more minutes I leave Amber to her irritation.

I’m not going to the farm today.  I don’t feel like it.  Dal’s got all the people he needs, and Alice has that guy of hers living out there.  That guys a jerk, she can do better.
“Jaymes!, join me for a drink?  HAHA.”  “How are you today May?”  I ask.  May.  I can’t believe she’s a Mallrat.  I got drunk once several years ago and started screaming at her, now she won’t let it go.  “Is that anyway to talk to me lover?”  “Shut up May, you know I wouldn’t touch you.  You weren’t even that cute when I was drunk.”  She slaps me “JERK!”  “Come on babe.” I say “You know I’m just joking.”

The last person I go see is little Patsy, the tribe’s next bride.  “Hi Pats.”  “Jaymes!”  Patsy says.  “What are you into Patsy?”  she tells me she’s just checking on some wedding details.  I’m looking at her as she says “Earth to Jaymes…Jaymes?”  I shake my head a little “Zoned out.  what do you need?”  “What were you looking at Jaymes?”  I tell her I’m trying to figure out how the little girl that was scared to death of me got old enough to be married.  “You just haven’t been paying attention, Jaymes.”  “Just another week, huh sweetie?”  I say.  “Yeah.”

I go back to our room to find Trudy tending to Li-Li, our little Lianla.  Ghany’s been put down and is sleeping soundly.  When I come in, she asks “Did you happen to see where our other daughter ran off to?”  I reply “I left her with Ebony.  They seemed to want to be around each other.”  “Okay.”

Chapter 2—Glimpse of Infinity

Brady stays with her aunt Ebony overnight, then Ebony brings her back to us when she wakes up.  When I ask Brady what they did, she says she and aunt Ebony and uncle Bray played games all night.  I shake my head back and forth and think to myself “Ebony playing children’s games…what has the world come to?”

As the week goes by before Patsy’s wedding, I barely see Trudy because she’s so busy helping Patsy with the plans and the fussing.  Ikolo, Patsy’s husband to be, has been hanging around all week.

As they sit together here today on the day before the wedding you can see that they’re so much in love.  Trudy commented to me that they look at each other the way I looked at her in school.  I tell her I didn’t realize I had a look.  She points out the way his tongue practically drags the ground and tells me that was me.  “Thanks honey.  I love you too.”  Brady says “Your tongue was on the ground daddy?”  I hold her and say “Not really baby, mommy just means that I love her so much she could see it.”  “Okay daddy.”

I find Bray sitting with Ebony having a meal and spending time with Brady.  I ask if I can join them.  “Sure Jaymes.”  Bray says.  “How’d the meeting go?”  “Its bad news Jaymes.  We have confirmed reports that the Guardian and the Chosen are back.”  “I thought he was dead.”  I say.  “Guess not.” Bray says.  I make the comment that this guy must be one heck of a guy.  Ebony chimes up and says “You remember Jaffa?”   I tell her I do.  She looks at me until I get it.  “That bumbling fool is the Guardian?  He was too dumb to open his locker right in school!  That was the guy everybody in this city freaked out about.”  “You heard what he did to Trudy, right Jaymes.”  Ebony says.  Brady asks “Who is Guardian?  What’d he do to mommy?”  I look from Bray to Ebony and say “Don’t worry sweetie, its nothing important.”  Then I say “I heard a lot what happened to Trudy.”  She stares at her drink, and Bray looks at me but stays silent.  Then Ebony says “I’ll get security on Brady quick.”  I smile and tell her “I’m grateful, but I’ll handle it myself.”  Bray finally says “That’s enough Jaymes.  You’re the one all the time makes the comment how much my wife has changed.”  “You’re right.  Brady, say bye to uncle Bray and aunt Ebony.” I reply.  Then when I leave carrying Brady he follows and whispers “Remember Jaymes, she knows what its like to lose one now.”  I tell him he’s right, then I look over at her “Ebony?  I’m sorry.”

The day is almost over when I find Amber pacing outside her room.  “What is it Amber?”  I ask her.  “Bray told me about the meeting.”  I nod to show I’m listening.  “He’s back and it scares me.  We almost didn’t defeat him before.”  I listen silently.  “I just don’t know if we can do it again.” She adds.  I look at her and tell her “It’ll be easier this time.”  She looks at me skeptically and says “Really, how do you know that?”  I raise my eyebrows and tell her “Cause you got me here now.” Amber laughs and says “Jokester.”  “Goodnight Amber”

I go back to my room to find my lovely wife reading a book and my son and youngest daughter sleeping.  Trudy sees us come in and says “There’s my little girl.  I’ve missed you baby.”  As she runs to her, Brady says “I’ve missed you too mommy.”  Then she says something that makes me remember the good old days when she couldn’t talk.  “Mommy, who’s the Guardian?”  Trudy glares at me and angry she says “Where did she hear that name?”  “Trudy, hold on a minute.” I say.  “WHERE!” Trudy screams.  I look at Brady and say “Baby, you need to go outside.  Find Patsy and tell her I asked you to come.”  Once she’s gone, Trudy starts in again, “Alright, she’s gone now, so you quit stalling and tell me how she knows about The Guardian.”  I tell her about the tribe leaders meeting.  “But Trudy, its just Jaffa, he’s just one man.”  “Just one man!  Jaymes, I know you know what the Chosen were like!  He made ME like that too.  Do you understand that Jaymes?”

The rest of the night is a nice big fight with Trudy.  I understand her position, but its not like she’s alone anymore, and the tribes that saw him didn’t see any other chosen, just Jaffa.  When morning comes I’m happy and sad.  Happy that Patsy is getting married today, but sad that I’m probably gonna get yelled at by my wife again.  There was a time when my biggest worry was if I’d be eating worms, or a real meal.

We walk out to the field, at the bridge to where Patsy’s wedding has been set up, and Trudy and I sit down.  I’ve got Brady and Li-Li in my arms and Trudy has Ghany.  Trudy isn’t talking to me.  I look around and out loud, I say to myself “Ikolo should be here by now.  If he stand’s Patsy up I’ll hunt him down.”  Trudy says “Shut up Jaymes!, Just enjoy the day like people did with ours.”

Trudy and I are sitting a few rows back and see KC walking across the field with a package, wrapped in blue ribbon and plain white paper.  KC starts to hand it to Patsy, she points like she’s telling him where to put it, he hands it to her again, more insistent and Patsy starts to motion him away again, but takes the box and opens it….
 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 3—Divine Insanity

 In the wake of Patsy’s scream, the world is dead silent as everyone watches her pass out and fall to the ground.

 Everyone who’s able runs to help her, I start to run to her, but seeing her surrounded by people I choose to grab KC, who is running off.  I grab him by the back of his shirt, saying “Where do you think you’re going?”  He responds “I’ve got places to be man, just let go.”  I look at him and let him know that right now, the most important place he can be is right here.  He starts to run off again, so I turn him around to face me, lift him off the ground and look right into his eyes “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER YOU LITTLE SNOT BALL?!”  Wide-eyed, he says “Nothin’, I swear.  Somebody just gave me that and told me to give it to her, that’s all.  I swear!”

 Behind me, I hear Cloe sobbing as she says to me “Jaymes…put him down…you should….um, you should see this.”  I throw KC down and I walk over to Patsy and the gift.  Cloe won’t walk with me.  I make my way through the crowd as several of them are gagging.  Lex looks at me and he’s actually near to crying.  I look at the box and see the head of Ikolo there with a symbol carved on the forehead.  I see a note in Bray’s hand that reads “His gift on the day of your wedding.”  Salene, Ellie and Jack are checking Patsy over.  Bray says “What is this?”  I lean over and say “The symbol on the forehead, it’s the old symbol meaning infinity.”  Lex breaks in, “How can you be so calm?”  I respond “I’ve seen more death than you can imagine.  Unfortunately, after enough times, even when it’s a friend, it’s just another body.  She needs taken back to the mall. You guys take care of that, KC and I are going to talk.”

 “KC!”  I yell.  He starts to run, but I stop him by picking him up off the ground again.  “KC, you’re going to talk to me.  We can do this the easy way, or the way that’ll get me yelled at by my wife.  The choice is yours, just remember, you make me get yelled at by Trudy, and I’m going to take THAT out on you too.”  Through eyes the size of silver dollars, he says “Okay, Okay.  Just tell me what you want.”  I nod “Good man.  Question one:  You have anything to do with the box?”  “Hey, I just delivered it, that’s all.”   “Question two:  Who gave you the box?”  “I don’t know who it was, just some girl.  I’d never seen her before.”  “Some girl gave you a box with a severed head in it, you little sack sniffer!  Don’t lie to me!”  KC freaks out “I SWEAR MAN!, IT WAS A GIRL!”  Brady’s voice asks me from behind “What’re you doing to KC daddy?”  Then Trudy comes up to me “Jaymes, put him down.  Don’t do it in front of Brady.”  I throw him on the ground again.  “You better not be lying to me KC.”

 After we get back to the mall it takes Trudy, Amber and Ebony to calm me down.  Amber says “JAYMES!  This isn’t the time, Patsy needs us all right now, you and KC included.”  “I know Amber” I tell her “I guess I’m just protective.”  Trudy says “You shouldn’t have done that in front of the baby Jaymes.”  I tell her I know.  Ebony really doesn’t say anything, she’s just there.  I tell them I’m going to sit with Patsy.

 When I get to Patsy’s room, her eyes are blank and she isn’t moving much.  She isn’t even crying.  I remember a time when I was in this state and everyone nursed me through it.  I owe Patsy no less.  I sit on the bed with her and I hold her and whisper in her ear “Come back to us baby.  I know this hurts so much, but trying to escape inside yourself won’t help.”  I know I’m in for a long battle, because it took me nearly a week to come out of my own depression when the Jaikarim took Ebony, or when she sold us out to them rather.

 I ask Tai-San to sit with her until I get back, and I go to my room to find Brady and Trudy on the bed, Trudy changing Ghany and Li-Li and Brady talking about them.  “Hi family.”  Brady smiles her usual big smile and says hi and Trudy says hello with little happiness behind it.  She’s still upset about hearing Brady talk about the Guardian and she’s sad for Patsy too.  I grab my son into my arms and I say “Big strong Ghany, future king of the tribes!”  Trudy just stares at me, then asks how Patsy is.  “Nothing from her so far, but its only been nine hours.  Took me a week, remember?”  Trudy nods and says “We did what we could.”  “I know honey.  I have an idea Trudy, can I take my big girl here to see Patsy?”  Trudy says “Do you have to ask me that?”

 I gather Brady’s things and she asks where we’re going.  I tell her “Patsy’s feeling sad Brady.  I was hoping maybe you could cheer her up.”  Brady looks at me with a little look of determination on her face and says “I’ll try daddy.”  “I know you will sweetie.”

 When we get there, I sit Brady on the bed with Patsy and I sit myself on another chair in the room.  Brady hugs Patsy but she doesn’t move.  “Hi Patsy!  Patsy, can you hear me?  She’s not listening to me daddy.”  I grab Brady and I sit her on the chair with me and I say “Patsy got hurt today baby, she may not talk to anyone for a while.  I was hoping she’d talk to you, but I guess it didn’t work.”  Brady and I sit with her for another few hours until Brady falls asleep.  Salene comes in to check Patsy and I ask her to take Brady to Trudy and tell Trudy I’m going to stay here with Patsy.

 During the night, when Patsy still doesn’t move, I try to talk to her.  “Remember that time when you and Cloe snuck outside the room I had with Ebony to listen to she and I fight?  I thought that was pretty funny.”  I recount several of my favorite things she did when she was young.  Even the time she had the whole tribe sign a certificate to “The Scariest Person Ever”.  Still she doesn’t move.

 The third night I’m there to watch over her she starts to talk to herself, saying things I don’t understand.  “To live in his followers…he lives within…he brings the chaos…the mission isn’t complete…can’t talk about mission.”  Then she says “Eagle Mountain…they all died on…”  Patsy was silent after this the rest of the night.  The next night, I ask Tai-San to stay with me to listen to it.  When she does finally hear it she’s confused “It sounds like Patsy has forgotten the last several years of her life, remembering a time when she was working with the supreme mother.”  Tai-San hesitates and says “we should get Trudy to come in.  If she would”  I just look at her.

 In the morning, when I go back to mine and Trudy’s room from watching Patsy, Trudy asks me how the night went.  “Not good honey.  Some bad things are starting.”  “What things?” she asks me.  “She’s starting to say things.  Will you come with me tonight honey?”  “If you want me to Jaymes.”  I kiss her and I look in to see that my babies are alright and I fall asleep.  A warrior in a mask haunts my sleep, but at least it’s not like the dreams I used to have.

 I wake up feeling like I’ve not slept at all and Trudy is already awake getting Brady and the twins ready to go.  “Honey, it’d be best if we got Cloe to come in and look after the kids.”  She scoffs at me.  “Trudy, do you trust me?”  “Of course I do darling.”  I look at her, then say “Get Cloe…please.”  When she returns with Cloe, she and I leave to Patsy’s room.

 Bray and Ebony are there watching her and I ask “Is she still doing it?”  They nod.  “Thanks for watching her guys.  You want to go ahead and take off?”  Bray and Ebbie show themselves out.  Patsy sees Trudy and starts to talk again.  “To live in his followers…must contact Supreme Mother…can’t tell anyone about mission…”

 Trudy is visibly hurt by this.  She hasn’t had to deal with memories of being with the Chosen for a long time.  I ask her “What is she talking about Trudy?  What was the mission?”  Trudy tells me she was grooming her to be a killer and to betray the Mallrats and Ebony.  “Why would she need to contact you?”  I ask her “She had instructions to carry out, if she failed or was held up, she was to make her way back and contact me about it.”  “Can you help her Trudy?”  “I don’t know Jaymes, I don’t know.”

 Trudy leaves and comes back dressed as the supreme mother, I have never seen this before.  She was evil, but she sure looked good doing it.  Trudy walks over to her and says “Patsy?”  no response.  “Patsy darling?”  this time, a response, spoken low “Zoot be praised Supreme Mother.”  Trudy says “And to his chosen, victory.  The mission is over now Patsy.  Its time to come home.”  Patsy looks at her, and around the room, “You’ve been compromised supreme mother.  You know the mission is never over.  He lives inside us.  He must be drawn from the unbelievers.”  She screams “WE WILL EXTERMINATE THE UNTRUE, Then she falls asleep.  “What was all that about Trudy?”  she tells me that the part about her being compromised was a security thing because I was here.  “The rest of what she was saying, I don’t know.”

 I wake up the next morning groggy.  I don’t remember falling asleep.  Patsy isn’t there, so I go to find out where she is.  “She’s not in her room?”  Lex asks.  “She was there two hours ago.”

 I search the mall over and can’t find her.  This is highly unusual.  I check my family and they’re still sleeping, all but little Li-Li, I take her with me so she won’t bother Trudy.  Where did Patsy go?

Chapter 4—Siege and Scattering

 In the many months since Patsy’s disappearance, I have searched for her everyday.  In the first weeks, Bray or Lex went with me always, but they eventually gave up the search.  Me?, I couldn’t give it up.  I don’t know if I was upset at letting down the tribe who nursed me through a similar problem, if it was the father instinct in me or what it was exactly, but Patsy being gone felt like it was my fault and I had to atone for it.  Everyone tried to get me to stop, but I couldn’t do it.  Amber even called on a lesser bond between Eagle and Wolf to try and get me to stop looking, that’s been years since we’ve mentioned those names to each other, but that didn’t stop me either.

 A month ago, a very odd group of people started attacking the city.  They fought with the violence and efficiency of the chosen, but they were not chosen.  We’ve had reports of 30 to 50 members, and these people are so feral that the chosen even run scared.  When they attack, they leave their symbol, a triangle with three lines in the middle.  Their leader has never been seen by any person living.

 I’ve started carrying my weapons with me again, because it’s as dangerous a time to be without them now as it was back in the days of the Locos and the Chosen.  Trudy doesn’t appreciate the weapons around the children, but I make a small concession and I get rid of my powders that I carried.  Trudy doesn’t know that I got rid of them cause they were old and didn’t work anymore, and she doesn’t need to know, but she feels safer and I feel like my family is safer.  The illusion of safety is a small comfort when the new enemy has destroyed a lot of the west city sector, and has the Chosen and the Jackals running scared.

 On this day which is a day of rest and family gathering for The Mallrats, as we all watch our children play together in the pen we created for them, and poor Ebony watches the children, obviously wishing her little Martin could be there, the siege begins full.  30 people all in one piece body suits from head to toe, wearing black goggles and carrying only metal staves sharpened at the end come running in.  Their leader makes a sound like a dying animal and they all stop.  The rumors are true then, they do sound like demons when they attack.  It must be a form of communication.  The leader makes a sound. Then one of these people comes forward.  “Eon, in gracious and eternal wisdom wishes you to know that the city is now closed off.  None shall be allowed in, none shall be allowed out on punishment of death.”

 Bray steps up and says “Just who is this ‘Eon’ to grace us with wisdom and tell anyone where and when they may go?”  slight growl/yelp from the leader.  “Eon will allow you your opinion this time, question again and your essence will become one with Eon.  We are aware that yours is stronger than others.”  Brays just looks and says “WHAT!”  a whine/growl from the leader, then the speaker says “Eon wishes you to know it’s a shame the essence of your child was wasted.  So close to the source flow and wasted before it could be added to Eon’s own.”  Bray becomes angry and defensive “Is your ‘Eon’ saying he or she or whatever, would have killed my child?”  like it was nothing the speaker says “Of course, Eon is the collector of the flow.  Why would Eon not destroy the child so close to the source?”  Bray runs at the leader, as all 30 of the soldiers surround the leader and begin to hit him.  Bird sounds and hissing from the leader.  The speaker says “You will be saved this time.  This city is closed, anyone found on the streets with be collected by Eon.”  The speaker nods then says “The flow shall destroy his enemies.”  Then they leave.

 A few moments pass before anyone dares to breath again and when we do, we all gather our children and return to our rooms.  I believe we’re all scared for our families after the enigmatic way of that visit.

 Cloe doesn’t have anywhere to go, so she comes with Trudy and I, and she holds Lianla close and showers her with attention the way she used to with Brady.  Trudy has Brady and I’m holding my son, little Ghany.  He is so much like his namesake, my dead baby brother.  Cloe is the first to speak among us.  “Were they Chosen?”  Trudy says “Those were no chosen I’ve ever seen.”  I say that they can’t be chosen, because the other’s treat this Eon as a god figure.  “Not even the Guardian got that kind of reaction from the Chosen.”  Brady asks just like before, “Who is the Guardian?”  nobody wants to answer, but I say “Sweetie, the Guardian is a bad person who goes around and does bad things in the name of a man that was once good.”  “How can he use this person to do bad things if the man was so good?”  I tell her its because the man isn’t around to defend himself.  “How do you know the man was so good daddy?”  she asks.  I trade babies with Trudy and sit back down with Brady and hug her “Because baby, for a time, the man was the best friend I ever had.”

Three weeks go by, and our food supply is getting bare.  There have some visits to the farm, but not many.  Lex just did manage to get away from a group of this Eon’s soldiers who found him carrying food from Dal into the mall.

 During that third week, Bray and I also make a supply run, but are chased also.  This new tribe who identifies itself as ‘Infinity’ has taken the city better than the chosen ever could have.  When we get back to the mall, we put down what supplies we have and get Lex out to help us get ready to defend the mall.  To our surprise, nothing happens.

 The following night, as we sit in our room, after asking Ebony and Bray to watch our babies, Trudy says “These ‘Infinity’, they must be very violent and dangerous.”  I look to her and ask her to continue.  “If the rumors are true, the Guardian runs in fear of these people.  I’ve seen him stand with a spear to his throat goading the attacker to kill him.  He truly believes that Martin’s spirit will protect him.”  I look at her and say “This Eon has fanatic support from people who don’t care to be violent, just like Jaffa has the Chosen.  That has to be scary to meet an enemy who is exactly like you, when before all you’ve had are sheep to the slaughter, so to speak.”  Trudy nods.  We lay down and, have a rather intimate hour together.  I kiss her gently and I say “I’d forgotten how good we were at that.”  Then I add, “Well, how good you are, and how I just manage my way through it.”  Trudy giggles and says “If that’s managing, we’ll have to stop when you get skilled.”

 “MALLRATS!  WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?  MALLRATS!”  Bray and Amber and Lex are already there when Trudy and I get there.  Jet, the leader of the Gulls is standing there holding the body of our fellow Mallrat, and her friend, Dal.  Jet is crying uncontrollably.  “Eon killed him.  Said since everyone was breaking the siege to get food, that Dal had to die.  Eon cut him, see here?  Cut his stomach, said that’s where it was located.”  Then Jet says “This Eon cut him and screamed Zoot’s name and went into strange dance.”  She lays him on the ground and says “They’re coming this way.  I heard a couple screaming about destroying the Mall.”  She says she’s sorry, then she leaves.

 I start taking charge.  “Bray, Lex get everybody together.  Everyone, start getting your families packed.”  Amber starts to protest that we should stand and fight.  Its my turn to use her old name “Eagle, you know it’s suicide.  Our families, they have to be protected.”  Trudy runs to gather up the babies and get Cloe.  While they’re gone, Ebony comes running in.  She’s focused herself, ready for a battle.  When Trudy and Cloe come back hurrying towards us, each has one of my babies in their arms.  Brady is a little ahead of them.  that is when the first explosion rocks the mall and brings down part of the roof between my Trudy and our twins and Brady and I.  Brady screams for her mommy and I start trying to move things but there’s too much, I can’t do it.  I see Lex come in and he looks over Trudy and my children.  “Jaymes, get Ebony and Brady and get out of here!  I’ll keep Trudy and your babies safe mate.”  I give Lex a symbol of respect, and  I look at Trudy and I mouth to her “I love you wife.”  She looks back to me starting to cry and says “I love you to husband.”  When the Mallrats scatter, I find myself with Brady and Ebony, Lex has my Trudy and Cloe and my little Ghany and Lianla with him.  Bray had to take Salene, little Ryan and Tai-San and baby Zan.  KC, Jack and Ellie went their own way.

 The Mallrats year of hell was just beginning.

Chapter 5—Old Friends

 First, there is a meeting at the remains of the old Chosen house.  The meeting consists of Lex, Bray and I.  Lex says “Trudy wants to know about Brady.”  I tell him to tell her that Brady is fine, Ebony’s looking after her.  Then I ask “How are Ghany and Lianla?”  He tells me that they’re fine also.  Bray tells us that little Zan is fine also.  “Okay,” Bray says.  We decide on a place to meet in a few weeks.  After discussion it’s decided that the cave where Trudy and I stayed on the trip I asked her to marry me will do.  “We need tribes.  People to help us fight.  Get anyone you can.”

For two weeks Ebony and I, with Brady in tow, run through the woods trying to get as far away from the city as possible, and meet up with any tribes we can.  We spy Alice and the love of her life, Ned moving through the woods and Ebony asks if we should maybe talk to them.  Quietly I say “I hate to be rude and leave Alice at risk, but I’d rather take this sword and ram it through my ears than listen to that orange haired moron speak, so I think we should just leave, Ebony.”  As we walk, we speak to the tribes.  The Eco-Tribe doesn’t think we repaid our debt properly after they helped with the Jaikarim, but a few, including my old friend Raven and one of his newer friends named Pride, offer to help us out where they can.

“Should we try to shelter down for the night Jaymes?”  Ebony asks.  Brady says she wants to, then I say “I guess so.  We won’t get that much further tonight anyway.”  Ebony pulls the shelter bag from her back.  I have my weapons and our food supply, and Ebony carries my sweet Brady and the tent.  I help her sit it up and then I tell them I’m going to get some wood for a fire.  Ebony nods and Brady says “Be careful daddy.”  Ebony chuckles a bit and says “Be careful daddy.”  Its nice to see her trying to joke a little again.

When the wood is collected and the fire is started, I pull some food from my bag and pass some to Ebony and I motion for her to hand me Brady so I can feed her.  “Its okay Jaymes, I can do it.  Can’t I Brady?”  Brady says uh-huh then cuddles a little to her aunt Ebony.  I don’t blame her, it’s a little cold and the sun isn’t even fully down yet.  Brady is tired, so Ebony goes and tucks her in for the night there in the tent.  While she’s tucking her in, Brady asks Ebony to sing her a song, which she does.  I listen and think that if the virus hadn’t happened she could’ve been a singer by now.  She has such a voice.  She comes and sits at the fire, directly on the other side of it from me.  “Its starting to get really cold out.” She says.  I nod and ask her if she wants my jacket.  “Won’t you be cold then?” she asks.  “Maybe,” I say “But at least you’ll be comfortable.”  She declines the offer for me to give her my jacket, so I nod then I ask her if Brady has enough covers, and she says that she thinks so.  I thank her.

Ebony is staring sadly into the fire.  “It was a cruel thing fate did to you.” I say.  “What thing?” she asks.  “Giving you a perfect son, then taking him from you like that.”  She looks at the ground and says “The things I’ve done in life, its no less than I deserve.”  I look at her and I sigh.  “Your past has nothing to do with that, Ebony.  Martin was a victim in this all and so were you and so was Bray.  No mother and no father could to anything to deserve having their child taken from them.  Especially such a caring and devoted mother as you would have been.  Watching you with Brady is an amazing sight.”  I look at her for a few moments remembering how she used to be, then I say.  “When I watch you with her, you’re not the Ebony you were in school, you’re not the Ebony hardening her heart to survive in Zoot’s world and you’re not the Ebony who’d sell out her friends to the enemy.  When I watch you with Brady.  You’re a mother who’d do anything to keep her child safe.  No child could ask for better.”  Ebony looks at me and says “Its very important for you, the way a mother acts with her child, isn’t it?”  I nod.  “Its because of the way your mother treated you, while she made Moz out to be a goddess isn’t it?”  “Yes” I respond.  Then: “My mother treated Moz like she was the only other person in the family.  Some nights she wouldn’t even cook for my father and I.  She’d say that worthless lazy trash like us didn’t deserve to eat a good cooked meal.”  Ebony just looks at me.  “The first time I heard her say that, I was four years old.”  She gasps.

I add a log to the fire and I go to check on Brady.  She’s a perfect little angel sleeping there soundly.  I come back out and I lay my head on the log I had been sitting on and I look at the stars.  “You alright Jaymes?”  Ebony asks tenderly.  “I’m wondering about Ghany and Li-Li.  They’re so young to have this thrown onto them Ebony.”  She moves around to sit with me and takes my hand and squeezes it.  “We’ll get your babies back Jaymes.”  I look to her and ask “What if we can’t get the tribes together on this.  We’ve only got seven of the Eco’s Eb.”  She comforts me and tells me that the others will be looking for people too, then she goes to lay down.  I ask her to check on Brady, that I’m going to keep watch outside.  When she goes in, I hear Brady say “Mommy?”  Ebony says “No sweetie, its aunt Ebbie.  Go on back to sleep.”  When I look in on them an hour later, Ebony has little Brady in her arms.

The morning comes, and I find Ebony and Brady already awake, with the camp broken and everything packed and ready to move on.  I laid on the ground last night, and I’m paying for it too.  I’m wet and shivering from the dew that settled on me while I was asleep.  Brady comes up and plants a little kiss on my cheek “Morning daddy.” She says, smiling.  I say to her “Morning sweetheart.  Did you sleep okay?”  she shakes her head up and down and asks “Are we going to Mommy today?”  Ebony sees my hurt, and she says “Brady?  Come here baby.”  She picks her up and says “We won’t get to see Mommy for a while honey.  We have to stay away because bad people are looking for us all and if we’re all together they’ll find us easier.  We have to stay away from mommy so that you and Ghany and Lianla don’t get hurt.  Do you understand that baby?”  Brady nods and says “Yes aunt Ebbie.”

As we walk through the woods, we look off to our right and see an airfield with a large military cargo jet sitting on it.  “That could be dangerous if anybody ever got their hands on it.” Ebony says.  I laugh and say “Kids flying military cargo planes…that’s the day I drop Trudy and marry you Ebony.”  Brady looks at me from Ebony’s arms and says “Daddy!”  I ruffle her hair and Ebony and I laugh.  “I was only kidding sweetie.”

As night falls upon us again, it’s extremely cold again, and it’s been raining so we’re fairly wet.  We get set up and all get in the tent quickly.  The temperatures are still freezing though and then Brady says “What if we all get in the big bag together?  That’ll keep us warm won’t it daddy?”  I ask “Where did you hear that baby?”  she says “I heard Jack tell Ellie that they could take a trip and they’d stay in the same bag all day long just to stay warm.  Jack was being silly though.  When he said it, the days were hot all the time.”  Ebony and I look at each other.  “No Brady, that doesn’t always work.”  Over the next three hours, Brady covers herself over and goes to sleep and Ebony just watches me.  “What is it Ebony?”  I ask.  She says “You’re going to make yourself sick, now when are you just going to admit that your stepdaughter is smarter than you and get in here?”

And so I found myself in a place I never expected…back in bed with Ebony.

Chapter 6:  Old Problems Solved and Sparks Become Flame

 Ebony and I wake around the same time, with Brady still asleep.  “hmm, this brings memories back.” Ebony purrs in that way I used to love.  “Not all happy memories.” I respond.  My thoughts travel back to nearly five years ago now.  Ebony accepting me into first her home, then as she began to trust me and we began to fall in love, she accepted me into her bed.  So many happy memories, but then the unhappy memories come.  Losing Ebony to the Jaikarim, only to find out that she was working with them.  I’m lost in thoughts and she says “Jaymes?”  I shake it off and say “Yes, Ebony?”  she asks if I’m okay, and I tell her no.  “I’m lonely, I’m scared for my wife and my babies, and my memories are horrible.  You never did explain to me how the Jaikarim torture was supposed to save everyone.”

 Ebony sits for a few moments and tears start flowing from her eyes.  I remember a time when she’d never let anyone see this.  “I’m sorry Ebony, are you okay.”  I ask.  She replies “Tears for my baby.  Sweet soul lost because of his mother’s black heart.”  I wrap my arms around her “Ebbie, your heart isn’t black.  The fact that you can feel for your son and throw this guilt at yourself is proof enough of that.”  “It is myself to blame Jaymes.  All the things I did with the Locos, then delivering your wife and this little one here to the guardian those years ago, how when she came back I helped her kidnapper, how I kidnapped her again and tortured you for Baval.  You have as much reason, or more, to hate me than most, and I got the punishment God believes I deserve.”  I look at Ebony, the one time love of my soul and I say “I have as much reason to hate you as anyone does…yet the only thing I can feel for you is sorrow that you lost your son, and hurt that you blame yourself.”

 Ebony and I are in the middle of a conversation about times before the virus.  “…No, so I remember this one food fight at school, you had this handful of mashed potatoes and you tossed them, and they hit me.  Well, I thought you’d done it on purpose Ebbie, so I picked up that piece of pie and side armed it at you.  You ducked out of the way, and the pie hit Martin right in the face.  He was so embarrassed.” I say as Ebony looks thoughtfully at the ground laughing and says “There are times when I forget there was a Martin.  All I remember is Zoot.  “After the things he did to you,” I say to her, “I’m not surprised you only remember Zoot.”  Ebony is quiet for a few minutes then she asks “Do you still hate me for delivering you to the Jaikarim?”  I hug her softly and I say “I never hated you Ebony.  That was a horrible time in my life with all the dreams and the emotional pain.  To find out that you were in with the people who caused it broke my heart.  I never told Baval, but I was bluffing.  When he showed that video of everyone dying.  I would have done anything you asked Ebony, just because you were all I had left.”  Ebony leans over and puts her arm around me, says “I’m so sorry Jaymes.”  Then “I remember when he put me in the room with you.  After everything I did you still came and comforted me and gave me clothes to wear.  Until my son was born, I’ve never loved a person more than that moment.”  She leans in and we start to kiss, just as we’re about to lay down, we hear a yawn, and then “Morning daddy.”  Ebony and I jump up and look at Brady to keep from looking at each other.  I say “Morning sleepy head, how did you sleep last night?”  she says okay, then she looks at Ebony “Aunt Ebony, have you been crying?”  Ebony holds her and says “Yes I have.”  Brady asks how come and Ebony says “Because, aunt Ebony used to be a mean person and hurt lots of people.”  Brady says “Oh no, aunt Ebbie, you’d never be mean to anybody.” Then Brady hugs her.

 After we eat, Ebony and I watch Brady run around and play.  I’m watching her very intently and Ebony says “Ghany and Lianla are fine.”  “How did you know that’s what I was thinking?” I ask.  She tells me how transparent I always was.

 For two more days we walk and we meet up with some remnants of the Locos who remember Ebony and don’t like her all that much.  There are nine of them and two of us with a baby.  I decide to try a bluff, but this isn’t KC I’m dealing with here “You, um, whatever you said your name was.  You see this baby here?”  he nods.  “Good.  Now this is my daughter.  If you attack me, or Ebony either one, I’m going to assume this child is in danger, and I promise you, I PROMISE YOU, I will kill everyone of you without laying this child on the ground.  Brady giggles right on cue.  It was great.  They start to move in, I grab my sword and Ebony looks and says “He can do it alone, but he has me here too” and she grabs for my other sword.  They all start to run like there’s no tomorrow.  After they leave I say “Shame, Locos make good recruits.”  I look to Ebony and say “Strong leaders and good training.”  She smiles.  I look at Brady and say “Isn’t she beautiful?”  Brady smiles and says “Yeah.”

 As luck would have it, we run on an Eco camp after a few more days of traveling, where we’re welcomed with open arms, after I show them I am Wolf.  “Eagle sent a messenger and said to watch for you Wolf.  Our home is the home of the woman and of your daughter.”  I offer my thanks to them, and they bring us out plates of food, more on the one plate than Ebony and I have eaten in the past week.  We’ve been rationing and giving the most to Brady.  When we finish eating, the leader of this particular group, a man named River, shows us to a large tent that they have set up and says “Comfortable rest for our honored guests for as long as you like.”

 I’m hardly able to look after my own little girl as the women come in and dote on her with attention and look after her while Ebony and I just lay there.  “I could get used to this” Ebony says.  “If I had my babies here I could see myself enjoying this” I tell her.  “What about Trudy?”  I nod “Her too of course.”

 The women of this tribe bring my daughter back to me and then I fall asleep with Ebony and Brady playing games, I again shake my head silently…Ebony playing children’s games.  When I wake Ebony is in my arms.  The husband in me freaks out at this, even though she isn’t there, I still look to see if Trudy’s around.  Brady is asleep.  My quick movements wake up Ebony.  “What’s wrong?”  she asks.  “Why were we in each other’s arms just now?”  “I cuddled up to you when I fell asleep.” She says.  I reply to her “Well don’t!”  Ebony acts like she’s going to cry.  “I’m sorry, but you know better.  We’re married folks now, and not to each other.”

 We spend two days with the Eco camp then we head out again.  On the road, we find a group of outcasts beating someone who isn’t moving.  I whisper to Ebony to take the baby and I grab a steel ball I added to my weapons shortly after Trudy and I were married and I throw it at the closest person, then I grab my swords and start running at them.  They all run off.  Then Ebony comes up me looking over the person, who is face down.  “He’s alive,” I say, then say “I’m going to move him.”  When he’s face up, a look of fear enters Ebony’s face as she says “Jaffa.”

Chapter 7:  Forces Combine and Friends Perish

 When he wakes up, Jaffa, the Guardian is tied to a tree with strong leather bindings that I have on hand.  He notices Ebony and then says “ Ebony?  Why have I been bound?”  I look at him with a sword in one hand and my last remaining sprite, my flash grenade in my hand.  I can’t find more of them, so if it has to be used, shoving down Jaffa’s throat after what he did to my wife is an acceptable use.  “You’ve been bound because we know who you are Jaffa.”  “I am the Guardian now, in the service of Zoot.  Do you think to send me to life eternal at his side?”  I hold the sword to his throat.  “I want you to know something.  Unlike the bulk of the people you’ve suckered into joining your little fools venture, I remember that Zoot was just a boy named Martin who couldn’t handle it when his parents keeled over dead, and I know that he died when he was thrown off a building and his brother set his body on fire on a boat.”  “And how is it you believe you know all these things you claim?”  I look at The Guardian and say “Because Jaffa, He was my best friend.”

 Brady is watching him intently and in awe, then she asks me “This is the Guardian daddy?”  I shake my head to her and say “Yes it is sweetie.”  She walks to him and says “What did you do to my mommy?”  He actually seems surprised by the question and a little confused.  He looks between Brady and Ebony and I, then he regards her closely.  “Is this the divine child?” he asks.  I motion to Ebony and she picks Brady up and I walk over to him.  “This is my daughter now, Trudy’s child and Martin’s.”  Then I say “and don’t you dare think that if you make her uncomfortable that I won’t kill you.”  He doesn’t show fear if he has any.  Maybe the rumors are true and he really is insane.

 Brady is down for a nap, and Ebony and I are ignoring The Guardian.  “What are we going to do about them Jaymes?” she asks me referencing the Infinity Tribe.  “I don’t know Ebony, these infinity are tough to deal with.  They don’t seem to have any motivation other than to kill.”  The Guardian speaks “Infinity!  Animals, infidels, demons.”  I look at him.  “So, the Chosen don’t like the Infinity eh?”  He speaks again “These creatures kill indiscriminately!  Men, women, babies even!”  “Oh, and you didn’t” I say.  “I’ve never ordered a baby murdered.  Zoot has a special place in his eternal love for a baby because he was never to know his own.”  This manages to shock me and disturb Ebony.  She looks at me and whispers “He did love babies.  He was evil, but he’d become as soft as those he terrorized if there was a baby in the room.”

 Over the next several hours, Jaffa tells us how The infinity capture everyone they meet, only to let the leader kill them.  “I’ve been able to place spies in the group.  I am told this leader does not believe that Zoot is a god.”  I interrupt “But there are reports that when the leader kills that there is screaming of Zoot’s name and a wild ritual dance involved.”  Jaffa continues “I said the leader does not believe my master to be a god.  This leader appears to believe that Zoot is a type of living force within us all, that killing a person in a ritual way adds that persons living Zoot force to the leaders own.”  Then he says “We’ve also been able to confirm that the leader is a woman.”

 “Why would she only allow herself to kill” Ebony asks.  The Guardian responds “She has visions of Godhead about her.  She believes that once you kill everyone that you will ascend to a higher existence, that she will be made strong.”  I ask him “Do you know anything else?”  “I know she has support so much more than I and people who will die to protect her.  Not even I am that powerful anymore.”

 “Jaymes.  Where are you at?”  I look at Ebony.  “Just lost in a very dangerous line of thought Ebony.”  She asks me “What is it Jaymes?”  I look at her and I look at The Guardian, and loud enough for them both to hear I say “I’ve been considering that the Mallrats and the Chosen have a common problem and a common enemy that neither can defeat in these infinity.  Perhaps if we’d work together.”  Ebony practically loses it. “You can’t be serious Jaymes.  After what he did to your wife, after what he did to Brady.”  Jaffa looks up and says “So, you married the Supreme Mother.  I had heard that someone had”  Then he asks “Is the rumor that Moz was your sister true?”  Ebony looks at me softly, she knows that this is a sore spot.  I reply to the Guardian “Maybe once.”

 A few more hours of talking, then the Guardian says “So, my Chosen and your Mallrats join together, and we gather other tribes together to try and help us to defeat Eon and her Infinity Tribe?”  I nod and say “That’s the deal, of course you have to do it the right way.  None of this thing of heads on spears or fear tactics, understand?”  The Guardian nods.  “Good, and if you attempt to double cross us, I will cut your face off and feed it to the Mallrats dog.”  Again with a nod.  As I release him, he’s actually stupid enough to try and grab Brady.  I take one of my throwing knifes and throw it at his throat, it hits its mark.  I tend to the wound, and he says “Zoot protected me, you did not kill me.”  I look in his eyes and I say “You tell yourself that, cause that’ll get you through the day better than the reality that I hit exactly where I was aiming, and another half inch left you’d be dead now.  You tell yourself that Zoot protected you and that I didn’t keep you alive because it pleased me.”  His eyes are a little wide, and I add “And you remember this, you touch my daughter again and I will cut off every one of your fingers and toes and, of this there is no doubt, I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A DEER!”  I actually scare Ebony who is comforting Brady.  “Now you leave, and if you try anything stupid I will kill you.”  I tell him where to be and on what day, then he leaves.

 A few more days and we meet up with an old friend of mine.  “Tic!  Hey sweetie!  She always hated it when I called her Tic.  Everyone else called her Ticia.  Ebony asks “Another on your growing list of lovers Jaymes?”  “No,” I tell Ebony “This is a good friend.  Back in the first days after my sister left and I lost my little brother Ticia here stayed with me, walked with me.  We were never with each other, but we know each other better than even Trudy and I.”  Ticia breaks in “What are you doing out here Jaymes?”  I tell her that Ebony, Brady and I are on the run from Eon and her people.  “That’s a hard place to be Jaymes, but at least you’re not a Mallrat.  She’s after those real heavy.”  I show her my hand and she laughs “Joined the Mallrats Jaymes.  I don’t believe it.”  I tell her about Trudy and Ghany and Lianla.  Brady speaks up “Don’t forget about me!”  I take her from Ebony and hug her “and of course my little Brady here.  Brady, say hi to my friend Ticia.”  Brady smiles and says Hi.  I hand the baby back to Ebony and say “I’ll be back.”

 Ticia and I walk through the woods and I remember the old times with her at my side just like this.  I think we both knew we’d never be with one another, but maybe we both wanted to be.  Or at least I did.  She fills me in on her adventures, loves and losses, good times and bad, and I fill her in on my own.  She expresses sorrow at my time with the Jaikarim.  “Can I still trust you Ticia?”  she gives me a fake sad look and says “you wound me Jaymes.”  I tell her I need a favor.  “Anything, you need, just ask it.”  I tell her that I want her to take Brady and find Bray, then I tell her where they plan to go, then where we plan to go.  “If you can’t find them, turn around and come back and find us.” I tell her.  If you do find him, give him this message:  We’ve made a pact with a man who uses the memory of brothers to achieve his ends.  He should understand that, and Ticia, tell him I’ve asked that you be given a place among them.  Tell him to remember a battle five years ago and the debt he said he owed.  Ticia says “I will.”  Then I say “Take care of her, she’s my daughter, Tic”

We find Ebony and Brady picking flowers and putting them in each others hair.  “Come here you two.”  Ebony takes Brady by the hand and they walk over.”  I ask Brady if she trusts her daddy and she says “Yes, daddy.”  “I’m going to send you with Ticia, you and she are going to find uncle Bray.  Is that okay.”  She hugs me around the leg and says “If you say so daddy.”  Ebony protests a lot.  I doubt she’ll ever lose that thing of not trusting people completely.  I calm her fears and tell her “In the days when everyone was fighting each other for food, for clothes, for anything of value, this was my first friend.  I love her in a way I love nobody else.  The kind of love that goes deeper than just physical love.  The kind of love where you want to protect that person from all pain and where you trust that person to watch after you.  Brady will be as safe with Ticia as she is with me.”  She scoffs, but she says she trusts me.  But, I think her pride and the mother wanting to come out makes her say to Ticia “But if you hurt that little girl, I swear…”  I stop her.  “Ebony, it’ll be fine.”

We come to the last few nights before meeting back up with our friends and our family and I’m laying by the fire crying silent tears.  I’ve been in a bad way ever since Ticia took Brady with her.  It’s the first time in almost six years I’ve been without a family and I’ve been horribly depressed.  Ebony sits beside me and asks “Can I do anything Jaymes?”  sadly, I turn to her and say “I’m so lonely Ebbie.  Just hold me, please.”  She leans over and places her arms around me, and whispers “Everything will be alright Jaymes.  We’ll be home soon and you can see Trudy and your children.”  I hold her and memories of the old days come rushing back.  Maybe I just missed Trudy and my kids, or I needed a friend, or maybe somewhere I’d never really stopped loving her, but that night Ebony and I were together and it was so wonderful.

I wake in the morning hurting a little bit.  I’d forgotten how Ebony enjoyed her work when it came to the bed.  I walk outside and leave her sleeping.  The fire has died, but even though it’s mid morning and the sun is out, I’m still shivering, though in my mind I know I’m not cold.  “Oh Trudy…what have I done?”

When Ebony wakes up she comes over and kisses me on my cheek and says “Good morning you.”  all I can manage is a grunt.  “Its perfectly alright Jaymes.  She isn’t here.”  I look at her.  “That’s the same thing she said when she first came to me when you were taken.”  Ebony just looks at me, then I say “It was a moment of weakness Ebony, it will not happen again.”

Finally we meet with the other tribe members at the old Chosen base and there are reunions and hugs and kisses and happiness enough to last a hundred lifetimes.  After what Ebony and I did, I am somewhat distant from Trudy.  I find it hard to face her.  She and Ticia are talking as I spend my time with my three wonderful children.  I look to her and say “Thank you for taking good care of Brady for me Tic.”  She smiles.  Trudy walks up to me.  “You seem happy, my husband, but I’ve known you too long.  You have hard thoughts on your mind.  Tell them to me.”  I catch a small glimpse of Ebony, happy to be returned to Bray and I say “Ask me later, my wife.”

“Has anybody seen Cloe?” Salene asks.  Everyone shakes their heads and says no.  Lex says “a few days ago we ran across a band of Infinity.  She saw something and said she had to go to them.  Wouldn’t explain.  Said she had to be sure.”  Several hours go by as we wonder about Cloe, Amber comes in and says “Trudy, what is this?”  Trudy looks and says she doesn’t know, and asks why.  Amber tells her that it has her name on it.  Trudy cuts the box open and with Salene, Amber and I standing there she opens it to find Cloe…or most of the pieces that used to be Cloe.  Trudy screams as the smell hits us all and I find an envelope addressed to the Supreme Mother.  I read it and I can only gasp and say “Oh god.”  I pass the letter to Lex and Bray and they read what I did.  The letter said:  ‘Supreme Mother, the mission is proceeding according to the will of Zoot.  Cloe’s Zoot-force is now one with my own.  Hail the Supreme Mother.’  The note was signed Patsy and had the symbol of the infinity tribe on it.  We’re all well aware that if Patsy is claiming to have killed Cloe, that means that she is the one called Eon.  Because according to Jet, only Eon is allowed to kill.  A roar fills our ears and we look out a window to see nearly 200 Chosen marching on us.  Between finding out about Patsy and my thoughts of the mistake with Ebony and everything else, The chosen symbolize a march to a dying future to me.

Chapter 8: Heroic Sacrifice

 The sound brings everyone to the windows and we all look out.  Everyone starts to freak out and I say “Wait guys, wait.  After everything that happened with Cloe, I forgot to tell you.  These are the people I had Ticia to warn Bray about.”  I look between she and Bray, they did indeed talk to each other.  I see Trudy ask Ticia to watch the children and Trudy comes to the window with me.  She tenses up when she sees the Chosen.  “How could you bring them here?”  I tell her that everything is okay, that the Guardian and I have an understanding.

 When he arrives, The guardian is visibly uncomfortable.  He left his troops outside, and he’s here alone.  Trudy is cuddled to me closely in fear.  I have my arms wrapped around her.  Trudy insisted that we move close to the children, so we did and she’s holding Brady close and Ticia is sitting on the floor beside us watching over Ghany and Lianla.  They’ve taken to her well, a lot better than they take to a lot of folks.  Ticia is very good with children, and very caring too.  She’d never even met Cloe, except to see her out walking a few times, but she is as torn up about her death as any of us.  The Guardian see the box containing Cloe’s remains and says “May her spirit dwell with Zoot in the hereafter.”  Many are shaken by this, but I take it in the nice manner it seems to be given.

 The Guardian walks around looking at everyone and Trudy gets defensive when he comes near us.  “You stay away from us!  Keep away from my babies.”  I let her go and I boldly walk up beside him, “You’re not gonna mess with my children are you Jaffa?”  rasping a little he says “No”.  I yank the covering he has on his throat, and show it to Trudy, and I say “Stealing Brady didn’t work out for him the second time.”

 Everyone tries talking over one another asking what he can do for us, finally the guardian yells “SILENCE!”  then says “My apologies, but you must listen.  You ask what I can do for you.  Bray, Lex, Jaymes, please walk with me.”  As we walk, the guardian says “I know that we all have history together.  Bray, Lex, you have reason to hate me, and Jaymes, you are defensive against me because of what I did to your wife and your child.  I do not ask to be forgiven, and I do not even expect that when this is over, we will remain allies, however for now we must put aside our differences aside and work for the will of Zoot.”  When Bray, Lex and I don’t speak, then the guardian continues.  “As I promised after our encounter Jaymes, I have sent my Chosen in search of others for the cause.  This is what they found.”  As the guardian waves his hand to direct our attention we see something that would have made the Jaikarim tremble.  Nine hundred people, two hundred of which are fully trained and disciplined Chosen.

 Lex, Bray and I make battle plans with the guardian and when that’s done, we return with the others.  While Bray and Lex talk with the Guardian, I talk to Trudy and tell her we should get Ticia to watch the kids and we should spend a night alone.  “No, we can’t.  Not with everything happening so fast.  Besides, the babies could be in danger, what about security.  The Guardian hears us and snaps his fingers and 5 of his people come to his side.  “You are assigned to these people for the night.  You are to exactly as they ask.  Anger them in any way and you’ll die.”  The five says “Yes Guardian”, then “Hail the Supreme Mother.”  The guardian speaks again.  “You will address her as Trudy.”  “Yes Guardian.”  I whisper to Trudy “That’s strange.”  She says it is indeed “A chosen I had classes with in school called me by name once and he put the boy’s head on a pole and made them all stand one by one under it and apologize to me for their disrespect.”

 I assign the Chosen to Ticia and my children and I lay with Trudy for the first time in a long while and it’s like a dream.  I lay silently for a long time “Is everything alright my husband?”  she asks me.  “I was counting my blessings wife, that I was able to see you again.  I did not think it would happen.”  Trudy kisses me softly, over and over and I start to kiss her as well.  Over the next few hours Trudy and I show each other how much we missed our time together.  Trudy smiles at me and says “Again?”  I look at her and ask “didn’t we just get done?”  she nods.  “Well then what do you think?”  Trudy looks at me funny.  I look at her and say “Just give me a minute.”  After the third time I realize Trudy missed me a lot.

 When Trudy and I wake up in the morning we walk arm in arm to see our children.  Ticia is watching over them just like she promised.  She tells us she’s been awake for an hour or so, she went and got Brady some food and came back.  Ghany and Li-Li didn’t cause much trouble at all last night, she says.  Trudy thanks her and I thank her as well.

 The guardian returns to us and says its time to get the battle started, so we get ourselves together we start out.  I, of course, have my weapons primed and ready.

 It takes us 4 full days to reach the enemy and when we do, we find them not nearly ready for us.  We actually manage to fight them back quickly.  The reports are wrong, there aren’t just 50 of them, there’s more like 300, but with all the noise, then can’t hear Eon, the girl who was sweet innocent Patsy, and they fall into Chaos.  Eon is indeed a great fighter, she’s taking people left and right.  She is fighting and fighting.  She comes to me and I’m holding her off.  Fair, since most of the moves she’s using seem to be ones she picked up from me.  I don’t want to kill her, so I knock her out.  Thankfully there doesn’t seem to be anyone noticing, so I run with her away from the battle, the battle which runs its course quickly.

 When the battle is over, we stand in victory.  Bray, Lex and The Guardian come and find me.  “Is that…” Lex starts.  “Yeah Lex, its Patsy.  I couldn’t bring myself to kill her.”

 Patsy starts to wake up and looks around.  She’s making the animal noises, but she soon realizes that there’s no one to hear.  She lays there not moving.  “Patsy?”, I ask “Can you hear me?”  “Jaymes?”  she replies.  “Yeah sweetie, its Jaymes.”  Pained, she says “I missed my wedding day.”  I smile at her and say “Its okay.  We’ll go home and maybe you can try it again.”  I stand her up and start to walk away and she screams a sound like a wounded bear and as I turn I see her with a knife running at Bray, then I see the Guardian run in her path and as the knife sinks into his heart, he crushes little Patsy’s skull with a rock.  We check Patsy to find her dead already, then we check the guardian.  “Zoot…he’s speaking to me.  He says I will stand beside him in the kingdom for defending his name…and he has a message.”  Guardian looks at me and says “He thanks you for defending his daughter and wishes you to continue.”  As he dies, Jaffa says “Yes master, I’m coming home.”

Chapter 9—Coming Home and Facing Consequences

 We Mallrats, stinging from the loss of three more of our family make our way back to our home that we haven’t seen since the night Jet brought Dal back home to us.  Talking wasn’t something we wanted to do at all.  Cloe, it turns out found a clue that Patsy was Eon and tried to go talk to her.  Something went wrong and she killed Cloe.  Then Patsy dying.  It is eating away inside that I couldn’t save her.  After the Mallrats did everything in their power to save me and I let our little princesses fall by the side of the road.  Trudy would comfort me, but she has her own hurt over it.  She believes that it’s her fault since Patsy inferred that she was acting on orders from the Supreme Mother.  I should be comforting her, but I’m not.  I’m staring up ahead where Ticia is taking care of Brady and the twins.  Bray offered to let her stay with the Mallrats if she’d like.  She hasn’t made a decision yet.

 Further ahead, I see some of the Chosen.  They are carrying the bodies of Cloe and Patsy, as well as the body of the guardian.  I had to fight hard for that one, even with Trudy who usually supports me.  They didn’t want his body coming back with us, but I mentioned that he saved Bray’s life.  They made mention several times that I don’t know what he did to the Mallrats.  I say I don’t care what he did in the past, I care what he did this time.  He committed fighters to our cause, he died saving Bray’s life.  That’s all that matters to me.  I told them that if they didn’t take his body for a proper hero’s burial, that I’d go off somewhere and do it myself.  There was opposition, but they all humor me from time to time.

 The mall comes into view and is a welcome sight.  I notice that Ebony looks tired and a little sick.  That’s been happening for awhile now.  Trudy grasps my hand and says “Its good to be back home again, isn’t it?”  I squeeze her hand and say “Yes wife, its good to be home again.”

 When we walk in the mall it looks like we’ve been looted.  Everything is in shambles.  “It looks like it did when we found it.”  Salene says cradling Ryan Jr. in her arms.  I look to Ticia and I say “Welcome to our lovely home, you’ll have to excuse the mess, we’re redecorating.”  I manage to get a smile from most people.  Trudy says she’s going to get something to eat.  “I’m going to show Ticia our room so she can put the babies down, then I’m going to show her the guest room.” I tell Trudy.

 I take Ticia up to Trudy and my room to put down Ghany and Lianla.  I sit on the bed and Brady comes up to me and, half sleepy asks “Why is everyone so sad daddy?”  I have to fight back the tears.  How will this little one ever understand what’s happened here?  “Bad things happened here today Brady.  Good friends left us today sweetie.”  “Maybe they’ll be back daddy.”  I cry as I hug this innocent little girl close and I think about Cloe and Patsy, not as the adults they died being, but as the little girls I remember them as.  “How I wish that were true baby…how I wish that were true.”  Ticia surprises me by crying with me.  Such a sweet caring person, as she always was.
 

 After a nights rest we take care of our dead.  The Guardian gets a similar send off to the one that Zoot got.  Bray thought it seemed fair.  I figure he thought it was easier that way too.  For the tribe’s little princesses, we bury them next to an old loyal friend who died a while back.  We bury them beside Bob.  They loved him when they were little.  I guess that we all want to remember them as those sweet little girls who could make a bad day turn around just by smiling.

 We never did figure out who sent Ikolo’s head to Patsy, although from some things we found in Patsy’s room as we were cleaning it out, some of us actually believe that her insanity came on long before Ikolo’s death, and that Patsy actually killed him by herself and paid someone to bring the package.

The next few days entail cleaning up and trying to figure out what all we were looted out of.  Trudy and I did alright.  The good thing about a room full of baby items is that they’re only useful if you have a baby.  Ticia has been set up in her room, and has decided that she wants to be a Mallrat if we’ll have her.  There’ll be a meeting when we have time, but not now.  She watches over Brady and Ghany and Li-Li wonderfully.

 I walk through the mall to find Ebony and Bray talking and laughing.  Bray invites me to join them.  “No thanks Bray, I have places I need to be.”  Then I think to myself that it’s more accurate to say that I need to be somewhere Ebony isn’t.  So many things go through my mind.  I should tell Trudy.  No, do I really want to tell the Supreme Mother that Ebony stole another man from her?  No, it was a one time thing because I was lonely.  Trudy doesn’t need to know, and Ebony won’t tell.  She’s got as much to lose as me really.  So, I’ll keep this to myself.  I’ll teach myself all over again how not to love Ebony.  When I return to my room, Trudy is there in a revealing little outfit.  “Wife, what if our little girl wakes up?” I say to her in a musing tone.  “Then she’ll be in Ticia’s room.” Trudy says.  “She offered to watch them tonight.”  Trudy and I spend the night ever so passionately celebrating our love for one another.  She falls asleep, but I’m just not tired.  Too many hard thoughts, and I’m missing Cloe and Patsy so much.  Their deaths are my fault.  I couldn’t save Patsy.

 Two days later, Ebony finds me leaned against the statue taking a nap.  “We should talk.”  She says.  “Okay.”  “Not here, somewhere else.”  We go to the sewers and I ask her what’s going on.  She hesitates and I ask her again, then I say “Did something happen with you and Bray.”  She shakes her head and practically falls into my arms as she says “I think I’m pregnant.”

Chapter 10—Complications

 Ebony is in my arms, and I don’t quite know what to say to her.  “You’re going to have a baby?  That’s great Ebony.”  She lifts her head up and says “THAT’S GREAT? How can you say that?  Do you have any idea what this means?”  I look at her not quite understanding why she’s angry.  “I’d hope it means you and Bray can put the memory of little Martin behind you and move on with this new child.”  She looks at me with a mix of disbelief and disgust and says “Bray’s been too busy…there’s only one person I’ve been with lately.”  I’m still a little slow on the uptake, but I finally do get it.  “Oh my god.” I say, then not sure, I look at her and I say “I’m so sorry Ebony.”  She pulls away and asks “Why are you sorry?”  I take her hand and say “Because, you’ve always wanted Bray and now you have him.  Who knows what you and I having a baby will do to him, who knows if you’ll lose him.”  Ebony says “What about you?  You’ve already got two children of your own and you’re taking care of Brady like she was your own.  You lose more than I do.”  I hug her, because it’s the only thing I can think of, then I say “Just because I lose more doesn’t mean you hurt less.”

 I take her to a little place on the outskirts of town I know of, it’s a little dive, but you can usually talk in peace there.  “So, do we tell them right away, or do we wait?”  I ask.  She looks at me and scoffs, “Oh we wait.  I’m not even sure I am yet.  I don’t think either of us want to admit to something we might not have to.”  I think to myself that I may not have the luxury of learning not to love her again.  It took me two years to get over her before.  Even after I was married, there were mornings when I woke up wishing it was Ebony in my bed with me.  I didn’t love Trudy less, but being with Ebony felt somehow right.  I had to learn a way not to love her so much it affected Trudy and I.  Especially after Ghany and Lianla were born.

 I slide around to Ebony’s side of the table and I take her in my arms.  “I’ll be a father to our baby, Eb.  I swear I will.”  She’s crying again and says “I know you will, and a good one too.”  She doesn’t want to talk much anymore, so I just look at her and silently I run through my own thoughts on what all this means.

 The next days are long as Ebony and I avoid each other as much as possible.  I’m doing my best to avoid Bray too.  This is going to kill him.  He’s defended me, been my friend.  Then there’s Trudy.  Everyone she’s ever loved has let her down somehow.  I thought I could be different, thought I’d be able to be the one who’d be with her forever.  I walk through the mall and I think about all the times I watched Trudy at school, wishing Martin wasn’t my friend, wishing I could’ve made my move to win sweet Trudy’s heart.  How at that time, none of what’s happened these past several years was even conceivable.  I stop at the memorial for Ryan and Danni and I stare at it.  “I could use your advice right now Danni.  You’d know what to do.”  Tai-San walks up beside me and says “Danni isn’t the only one who can give advice Jaymes.”  I turn to see Tai-San holding little Zan in her arms, I look at her and say “I know ‘San, I’m just not ready to talk to the living yet.”  “Are you sure?” she asks.  “It might help if you talk about it.”  I shake my head no and as I walk away I whisper “Why does love have to hurt ‘San.”  I didn’t intend her to hear, but she does.  “Love is a very powerful, yet delicate force, Jaymes.  I have found that once you feel love for a person, it rarely goes away no matter how you grow apart in life.”  I kiss Zan on the forehead and say “You’ve got quite the mother little girl.”  I thank ‘San and I leave.  A few hours later, I see Ebony walk into Tai-San’s room and I sneak up to listen.

 “…so, I think I may be having a baby.” Ebony finishes as I get to the room.  “Ebony, congratulations.  Bray must be very happy.” Tai-San says.  “I haven’t told him yet.  I was hoping you could help me figure out if I really was or not first.”  I hear bottles and things being moved in her room and Tai-San starts doing, well doing whatever it is that she does.  I don’t think anyone actually understands it.  As I’m listening to the goings on, little Brady comes walking up.  I look at her and hold my finger to my lips and whisper.  “Quiet baby, daddy’s trying to listen to aunt Ebony and Tai-San.”  I listen as Tai-San says “You are pregnant Ebony.”  Ebony thanks her and starts to walk out, I gather Brady and I walk the other way, thinking about Brady and what all this will mean for her.

 More days go by where Ebony and I barely pay mind to each other.  I find myself at the café to get a sandwich and a drink and Bray is there alone and again he asks me to sit with him.  I decline again and he says “You haven’t hung out for a while now, so sit down.  Leader’s orders Jaymes.”  I sit, I guess I should to keep him from getting suspicious.  When I don’t talk, he takes it upon himself to start the conversation “What happened with you and Ebony out there while we were all scattered?”  Barely containing my shock I say “What do you mean?”  Bray says, “You think I haven’t noticed?”  Almost ready to confess, I say “Noticed what?”  “You two have been avoiding each other, even talking about each other.  Did you two have a fight about something while you were running?”  mentally I release a sigh of relief.  “No, not really, why?”  Bray says he was just wondering.  He was wanting to try to get the problem solved since there was a baby involved.  “What?  A baby?  What do you mean, Bray?”  He replies “Brady.  She’s your stepdaughter and Ebony’s niece.  If you’re fighting, it could affect her.”  I nod and tell him he’s right.

 I walk in to our room to find Trudy with her head over a bucket, and Ticia watching the children and trying to take care of Trudy at the same time.  I hurry over to her and I ask “Trudy, are you okay honey?”  As she releases another round of vomit, she wipes her mouth and says “I will be.  It’ll be fine.”  I sit on the bed beside her and wrap my arm around her and I kiss her cheek.  “What can I do to help Trud?”  she says I just need to let it run its course.  “It upsets me when I can’t do anything to help you wife.”  She looks at me tenderly, and, I notice, with just a little bit where she missed cleaning her lips, and says “I know.  That’s why I love you husband.”  I lean to her and finish cleaning her mouth for her, then I kiss her.  “Jaymes!  I haven’t even washed my mouth, that’s disgusting.” Trudy says.  “If you complain much more wife, I’ll kiss you again.”  I tell her.  Trudy smiles just in time to get sick again.

 I tell Ticia she can leave the children and go, then I watch them and try to help Trudy at the same time.  When she lays down after her sick spell, I ask if it was something she ate “Did somebody cook you a rat Trudy?”  she laughs at me and says “No, I think there’s going to be another addition to the family.  Hearing this makes me afraid for a moment.  Then I shake it off, I have to say something.  “Another one?  What are we going to do?  This room is starting to get crowded.”  I kiss her and I make up a bunch of happy stuff to say off the top of my head.  All the while I’m scared to death.  Ebony and Trudy both pregnant, and both by me.  How do I handle this?  I ask myself.  I come up with an answer that very moment, but I’m still a few days away from actually doing it.

 It’s very early on a Tuesday morning when I decide that today’s the day.  There’s no other way to save everyone, Ebony, Trudy, Bray, my children from the pain of my mistakes and weakness.  I gather the things I need.  I sit in the café for a long time staring at the paper, then finally I start to write.

To The Mallrats:
  For years now, you’ve all been my friends and my family.  Making me a member in the midst of the hardest time in my life and helping me through it.  So it hurts me all the more that I have to do this to you all.

  By the time this letter is found I’ll have been gone a while.  There are problems now, that will become evident to you all soon, that I don’t know how to handle.

  I couldn’t save Patsy from her pain, and that cost us Dal and Cloe.  I’ve made mistakes since then that will destroy more lives than my own, and I’m so sorry for that.

  Trudy, sell my weapons, they’re in good condition and should bring a good price.  Ebony, I’m so sorry for everything.  I love all you Mallrats.

  P.S.:  If my vote counts, I think Ticia should be a member.

 When I fold the note and seal it, I hear little footsteps behind me.  “Why are you alone daddy?”  I pick up little Brady.  “Sometimes you just want to be alone baby.”  She kisses me and says “You don’t have to be alone daddy.  I’ll stay with you.”  “I wish you could my big girl, but you have to be with mommy.  She’ll need you soon.”  As I set in the chair here at the Café, Brady is standing on my legs, and she wraps her arms around my neck and says “I can help mommy.”  “I know you can baby.  Right now, you need to go back to bed, so come on.”  I wrap my arms around her and carry her back to my and Trudy’s room.  Before I walk in to put her back down I ask her “Brady, you know I love you don’t you?”  “Yes daddy, and I love you too.”  I tell her I know, and I put her down.  “When mommy wakes up tell her I love her baby.”  Brady nods.

 I go back to the café, and seal the note, then I grab my bag and walk out.  I look back to the mall and then off to my right.  The sun is just starting to rise as I do the only thing I can think to save Ebony and Trudy pain and I walk away.

Chapter 11—On The Edge

 Two months have passed since that morning when I walked away from the Mallrats and my children.  Not a day of those two months has passed that I wonder if I’ve taken the cowards way out.  Wondered if I should have stayed and faced my weakness at sleeping with Ebony, and the mistake of giving her a baby.  A mistake made all the more painful by knowing that my Trudy, my wife, my lover, my life is now with child again.  How did it all go so wrong?  I was finally happy and I had to ruin it.

 A night of recollection about everything in my life that brought me to this point does nothing for my mood.  I still hurt over them both, I hurt for Patsy and Cloe.  I walk aimlessly.  The father in me tells me I should be going home.  But the Jaymes in me that’s had so much hurt in life is telling me something else entirely.  I’m having a hard time separating the two, but I’m listening not to the father, but the one who was always told what weak, pathetic trash he was.  The one who wants to get away.

 I fall asleep deep into regrets.  I fall into a dream.  Even in sleep I feel it, and think to myself “No more dreams!  Jaymes has dreamed enough for a hundred lifetimes.  The voice I hear is the voice of Patsy.  “Just one more Jaymes.”  She says.  “Patsy?” I say, then “Where are you.”  I turn to see her, see her as the little girl I first met all those years ago.  “You’re traveling a dangerous road Jaymes.” She tells me.  “I don’t know what you mean.” I say.  “Yes you do.  You know what you plan to do.  You haven’t made the decision yet, but you know you will.”  Patsy says.  “What will I do?” I ask her.  “You know.”  I look at this ghost, this vision, or whatever it is and I say “I tried to save you little girl.”  This little dream child says “I know you did, and I thank you for that, but it was my time.  But you’ve others to watch after that your decision will affect.  You have to go to them.”  As I wake up, I say to the fading vision “I miss you Patsy.”  That sweet little voice says “I miss you, too.”

 I find myself at the place where I asked Trudy to marry me, and the place where, two days later, Trudy, Cloe and myself stayed for a night while running home to tell the others about the Jaikarim.  The same place where I first pledged my life to Trudy forever.  Look like forever is a little shorter than we expected.

 The little stone circle is still there.  Right over there is where Ryan stood with me, and over here.  This is where little Patsy stood for Trudy.  Our friends are gone and its because I was weak.  I fall asleep in the circle after carving into the dirt the words ‘Here on this spot, Jaymes of the Mallrats was married to his only love, the beautiful Trudy.  Five years later he sits here, having not eaten in nearly 8 days…and having betrayed his one true love and their children in weak moment  with an affair of loneliness.  The path is nearly at an end.  To those who read these words, I beg you find your love and never let her go.’

 I go to find Raven and when I finally do I ask him if I can stay with the tribe for a while, and they let me.  I’m fast becoming friends with Pride.  We have a lot in common.  “Why have you come here Wolf?” Pride asks.  “The last time you were here, you had a good life.  Your family was strong and you were in love with your wife.”  “I’m running away from mistakes.”  Pride asks what mistakes those are.  “When the Mallrats were scattered, I was afraid, and lonely for my wife.  I had an affair with the woman I was with and she’s with child now.”  Pride says “Eagle speaks very highly of you Jaymes.  The Mallrats, especially your wife and your children, miss you very much.”  “You know my name eh?  When was Eagle here?”  I ask him.  “Three days ago.  You need to go to them Jaymes.  The situation is not at all what you believe it to be.”  “Where was I while they were here?”  “You were taking a meal.”  I thank him for not telling them I was here.  “It was against my judgment, Wolf.  Raven was the one who made that happen.”

 On the day of my second week with the Eco’s, I thank them and tell them its time I was moving on.  I thank them for their hospitality, and I leave.

 My time with Raven and Pride really does nothing to help my mood, and I walk in a depressed daze.  I walk to find the bridge to the ranges.  I remember something Salene told me once.  Many years ago it seems, Ryan was going to jump off this bridge.  I look at the river far below.  It’s a good way to go I suppose.  I start to climb.  Yes, this is the way.  Everyone’s pain will end this way.  Was this what Ryan thought when he was going to jump?  Did he see that all pain could be ended this way?  As he gazed down into the rage below did he see the peace that jumping would bring?

 Just as I’m about to make the jump, I hear the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.  “Daddy, will you come home now?”  I look down at my sweet daughter, standing there alone, then I look up to find all the Mallrats there.  Trudy holding our twins, and crying.  Bray and Ebony are standing together, Lex and Tai-San are there, Tai-San carrying little Zan close in her arms.  Salene and little Ryan.  Salene is crying.  I guess from the memories this brings back.  May is there, they even brought Alice and Ned.  In my mind I hear Danni’s voice from a long time ago.  “You should have trusted us to help you through it.”  Out loud, as Bray comes and picks up Brady I say “Yes Danni, I should have trusted you.”

Chapter 12—Homecoming

 “We had no idea you’d react that way Jaymes.” Tai-San says to me at the tribe gathering that wasn’t so much called as just happened when we got back to the mall.  Ticia wanted to be here, but she’s watching the tribe’s children.  She’s so great with kids that everyone trusts her to watch them.  Tai-San continues “You’ve changed so much over these years with us that we didn’t think you’d do that.”  I look at them all, hurt beyond words after I found out.  Trudy says “When I found out what you did, I was mad at first, even hit Ebony a couple of times.”  Ebony laughs and says “I miss the days before the chosen when I probably could’ve taken her.”  I just glare at her.  Trudy continues “After a while, I got over my anger, especially after she explained it.”

I’ve had enough finally after what they all did, they were all in on it.  They admitted it.  I look at them all and I say “The thing that I don’t understand is what made you, all of you…The people who’ve been my family and my friends to do that.  What was supposed to be the joke in Ebony telling me she was pregnant when she really wasn’t!”  I look at them all and slam my fists on the table “Did you think it would be funny!”  Salene starts to say something “NO! Shut up!  There’s nobody in this room that doesn’t know how much I love Trudy!  How could you people!”  They all try their best to apologize, but I’m not ready to hear it yet.  “If I were equipped to handle the twins on my own I’d take them both right now and leave and never come back.  I’d leave you all where I found you!”  Trudy says “We wouldn’t leave over this Jaymes.”  “DID I SAY YOU AND BRADY WOULD BE GOING WITH US?”  Trudy is horrified by that.  I continue, “Pride tried to tell me, but I didn’t get it.”  I look to Amber and I say “You!  You should’ve known better than this!  Eagle…HA!  My friends!”  they start to protest and I interrupt again “WORTHLESS TRASH!  ALL OF YOU!”  In my anger I say something to Ebony that I regret.  “You don’t take them seriously!  THAT’S why Martin was taken from you!”  then I whisper “After what happened to my brother, you all know how important babies are to me.”  Then after letting my rage cool just a touch, I say “Now, if nobody minds, it’s been a trying few weeks.  I’m going to the sewers to sleep.”  Trudy says “Jaymes, what about bugs and rats?”  I look at her, to the rest and say “At least in the sewers I know I can trust the motives of the rats I find.”

I make my way to the sewers and I lay down.  I fall asleep much quicker than I would’ve expected to, when Bray wakes me up.  “We need to talk.”  “Why did you wake me up.  I was dreaming about Kris.  Remember her?  Thin in the right places and large in all the right places.”  Bray ignores the comment and says “That thing you said to my wife.  That was wrong.  She hasn’t stopped crying.”  I look at him and say “Well, maybe you should think about comforting her rather than being down here giving me guff.”  He gives me a hard look and says “You owe a lot of people some apologies.”  I look at him with a look that’s just as hard.  “This may surprise you, fearless leader, but Tai-San was right, I’ve changed a lot, and believe me when I say Zoot will run naked through this mall before I apologize to any of you for you almost making me kill myself over a baby that didn’t exist!  You and anybody else that thinks I will can go straight to hell!”  As Bray walks away he says “It was my idea…I didn’t know you’d do that.”  Then says “Go sleep in your bed Jaymes.”  I think to myself that he’s right, I could use a night in a real bed, guess I’ll just have to fight off Trudy wanting to talk about this.

“Do you mind if I come in?” I ask her in a voice that sounds old and tired.  “Its your home too Jaymes.  You don’t have to ask me that.”  “Ticia has our babies?”  I ask her.  “All except one.”  She tells me.  “Which one?” I ask, then she grasps my hand and rubs her belly with it.  “This one.”  I almost tell her I’m sorry for leaving but I stop myself.  “I’m sorry for what we did to you husband.  We didn’t know it would hurt you so.”  Nothing from me.  “Jaymes, will you tell me what you’re feeling?”  still nothing.  “Darling, please, don’t shut me out, I beg you.”  to myself I think “Why does she have to call me darling.  She knows I love the way it sounds when she says that word.”  “Okay then,” she says “maybe later you’ll feel like talking.  I love you husband.”  I don’t say anything, but when she turns away from me, I can’t stop myself mouthing the words “I love you too wife.  I’m sorry.”

As we lay there, I start to feel lonely and hurt, and I wrap my arms around my wife and hold her.  That always helps when I feel this way.  When I wrap her up in my arms, she stirs a little and almost wakes up, but resumes her steady breathing.  Softly I say to her “I hope we have another daughter, so she can be a little beauty like her mother.”  I softly kiss the back of her neck.  “I was hoping for another son, so you could teach him to grow up strong and caring like you, Jaymes.”  Trudy says.  “So, you weren’t asleep.”  She says no, but she was enjoying having my arms around her again and didn’t want to spoil it.  “Are you ready to talk, Jaymes?”  “No.” I say.  “Okay then.” My Trudy says, “But I will” I tell her.

“Bray says the idea was his.”  I say.  Trudy responds, “He made the original comment that started it all, the idea was Ebony’s, and mine.”  “Why did you do it Trudy?  With Patsy, Cloe and Dal dying, and everything that’s happened, why did you do it?”   Trudy smiles and says “I’m sorry Jaymes, I swear we just thought it’d be a little joke.  We thought you’d try to talk to her about it after you found out about our baby and we’d all spring it on you.  God it was so horrible.  I’m so sorry.”  “I know you are Trudy, I was just so frightened the whole time we were gone that I’d never see you again, that when we came back and she said she was having a baby and you did too.”  then I add “I was scared I was going to lose you.  I have loved you for so much of my life that I don’t want to remember a time before I did.  I couldn’t bear that you or our children might not be in my life.  I’d rather be dead than have to live with you hating me and never getting to see our babies.”  She is in awe at hearing me say these things, and she says “Just like in school.”  I look at her and ask what that means.  “Just like in school, I find now that I never fully appreciated how deep your love was.”

“I suppose that I need to apologize to Ebony.”  I say.  Trudy smiles as she looks into my eyes and says “You said a lot of things at the gathering.  That was the worst, I think.”  I kiss my Trudy’s forehead and say “No wife, the worst thing I said was that I’d take our babies and never let you see them again.”  She starts to cry at this “I didn’t have any kind of mother.  I’ll never do that to my children.”

Chapter 13—Making Amends

 Before I go to find Ebony and apologize, I decide to eat something, so I stop in the café, where I find Salene and her sweet baby.  “Mind if I sit down Salene?”  she shakes her head.  “I owe you an apology Salene, for the way I talked to you.  You didn’t deserve it.”  Salene smiles and says “No Jaymes, I think we got just what we had coming to us.  We needed that put into perspective for us.  It’s not right to toy with people’s emotions…especially when it comes to children.  I learned that before Ryan died.”  “Still Salene, it’s not right to scream at everyone.  Especially what I said to Ebony.”  Salene nods and says “Yeah, last time I looked she was still curled up in a ball crying.”

 When I get to their room, Bray is sitting with Ebony, just watching her.  I lean against the door for a minute before he notices me.  Ebony is turned away from the door, so she doesn’t notice.  I motion for him to leave, and he quietly does.  I walk in and sit in the chair for a few minutes, wondering how I’m going to apologize to her.  How does one apologize to their former lover for telling her that god took her baby from her because she wasn’t responsible enough to have one?  Ebony speaks, still thinking that Bray is in the room.  “You know what’s going to hurt the most Bray?  Is seeing him everyday and not being able to tell him.”  She starts to cry so much, more than about any person I’ve ever heard.  “Children are so important to Jaymes, Bray.  I don’t like what we’re doing.”  I look at her with a puzzled look.  To myself I think “What is she talking about.”  She continues, still unaware of my presence.  “But the two of you are right Bray, he loves Trudy so much.  We have to do this for them.  Bray?”  I sneak out of the room fast as she starts to turn.  “What did she mean by all that?” I say under my breath.  My suspicion is raised, so I’m a man on a mission.

 The longer it takes to find him, the angrier I become.  I find him talking to Alice and that fool Ned, and Ellie who they’ve come to visit.  I grab him by the collar on his jacket and, dragging him, I say “Tell them bye Bray, you and me got business.”

 I drag Bray to the sewers and throw him against the wall.  “WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU KEEPING FROM ME?” I yell at him.  “I don’t know what you mean Jaymes”  I quote Ebony word for word to him and I say “Is she having my baby Bray?”  “I have no idea what you mean!”  I look at him with rage on my face and I say “She was talking to you like you knew, so don’t you dare lie to me!  It’s a simple question.  When I did your wife out there when we were scattered, DID…I…GET…HER…PREGNANT?”  I catch Bray looking behind me and I drop him and turn to find Ebony and Trudy standing there.  Why are they here together?  “Jaymes, you need to calm down.”  Trudy tells me.  “I don’t think right now’s a very calm time for me Trudy.”  I say containing rage.  Ebony breaks in and says “Just listen.”  I look at them.  “The next few words out of each of you better be friggin’ GREAT.” I say.  Trudy comes up to me and hugs me.  “Jaymes, just let us talk.”  Ebony says “When we were out there, I was already getting sick.  The weather was getting to me.  Then we did what we did and I thought I was having a baby.  When we got to the Chosen base, Bray and I….well, you know, and I…I just don’t know if it’s yours or not.  I’m almost sure its Brays, but I can’t be sure.”  I let out a yell and hit the brick wall of the sewer, then I say “Oh great.”  “What is it Jaymes?” Trudy asks.  “I hope Tai-San remembers how to make that pain killing drink.”  Then I say “I’m confused here.  Trudy?  Are you actually pregnant?”  she nods yes.  “Okay, we didn’t all do some weird wife swap did we?  This new baby of Trudy’s is mine?”  Everyone says yes.  “Okay, fine.  Now, is there any way to find out if the baby Eb’s having is mine?”  heads hang at this and they all sort of say no.  “and you were all going to keep this from me?  You were going to pass the baby off as Bray’s whether or not it was.  Fine, just great.  I haven’t been this confused since Ebony tortured me with the Jaikarim to save everyone.  Wonderful.”  They all look at me.  I am taking this with a little more calm sarcasm than I really should be.  “Jaymes, aren’t you angry?”  Ebony asks me.  “Jesus, Ebony…its all so very confusing, I’m just not even sure if I should be or not.”  The three of them are staring at me waiting to find out what I’m going to do.  Then I say “Well, I guess we just wait a few years.  If it jumps on tables screaming ‘Power and Chaos’, good chance the baby is Brays…if it has weird dreams and gets depressed a lot, its probably mine.”  They all look at me strange for a minute, then I say “You know, at least Brady laughs at my jokes, I hope Ghany and Li-Li do to.”  Then I say “Look guys, I don’t like what we’re doing here, but I’m glad you didn’t keep it from me.  That would’ve been so much worse.”

 “Trudy, Bray, if you’d leave Eb and I alone please.”  I ask.  “Remember last time you guys were alone?” Trudy says joking.  Joking myself I say, “We weren’t alone.  Brady was beside us asleep.”  Trudy and Bray leave.  Now I get to see if the words are good enough.  We look at each other silently for a while, then I start crying and I just hug her, I wrap her tight in my arms and I say “I’m so sorry Ebony.  God didn’t take Martin from you because you couldn’t handle it.  God took Martin because he’s cruel and unjust.  I love you Eb, you know I do.  In a different world, the son would have been mine…well, I guess it still could be.”  I release the hug and I put my hands on her shoulders.  Crying still I say.  “Our child would be beautiful.”  As we walk slowly back to the mall, Ebony asks “The Jaikarim, Jaymes. The torture never would have saved everyone.  I thought you’d end up dying.  I didn’t want you to die hating me.  I wanted you to love me for trying to help everyone.”  She’s waiting for a response, but I just say “I need to go and find Tai-San.”

 When I find Tai-San she’s sitting on her bed, taking a break and playing with little Zan.  I stand and watch her.  ‘San is such a great mother.  “Hi Jaymes, what can we do for you?”  I hold up my hand and show it to her.  “You didn’t hear somebody that sounded like Zoot again did you?”  I tell her no, that I had a fight with a wall and it won with flying colors.  “You need something to drink, don’t you?”  I nod and say “Whenever you have time, just spend time with your little girl and get to it when you can.”  Tai-San says “It won’t take long, here, hold Zan for me.”  I take ‘San and Lex’s little girl and I cradle her and bounce her.  I say “You’re a big girl aren’t you baby?”  then I say “Pretty as your mom and mean as your daddy.  You’re going make all the boys crumble won’t you?”  Tai-San smiles at me.  “Fatherhood agrees with you Jaymes.”  “I can’t believe I’ve got another se…sweet baby on the way”  I almost said ‘set of babies’, have to remember that as far as anyone else knows, Ebony isn’t pregnant yet.  “Well, Jaymes…at least you don’t have the added complication of a child by Ebony in the mix.  We never meant to hurt you with that joke Jaymes.”  I look to her, taking it a lot better now that I know why they were ‘joking’ with me.  “All is forgiven.  Now that I think of it, its pretty funny.”  She finishes a bottle of the pain drink and hands it to me.  I hand her back her little girl and ask “What do I owe you?”  she tells me it’s on the house.  “That’s why I love you ‘San.”

 I get back to my and Trudy’s room just as Ticia is leaving.  She pulls me aside and asks “How are you today?  I didn’t get to talk to you last night, I’m sorry.”  I tell her I’m doing alright.  “I don’t know what I needed last night, but it’s all better now.”  Ticia smiles and says she’s glad and then goes to her room.  I go in and I hug my little twins.  Brady says “Hi daddy.”  I hug my big girl and I ask how her day was.  She tells me about drawing pictures with Ticia, and talking about everything that came to mind, and going and picking flowers in the field with mommy.  Then she hands me a rock, a piece of quartz from the look of it.  “I found this for you daddy.  Mommy said you’d like it.”  I pick her up, and look at Trudy and I say “I do like it sweetie.  Thank you.”  I kiss her cheek and sit her down.  “Daddy needs to sleep for a while now sweetie.  I’ll see you when I get up, okay?”  “Uh-huh.”  I drink some of the remedy, and I gag a little “Eh, I’d forgotten what that tasted like.  I need to stop getting my hands hurt.”  I lay on the bed, my wife there with me, back turned to me and I wrap my left arm over her and I rub her belly.  “We’ll see you soon little one.”

Chapter 14—Painful Decisions

 The months roll by quickly at first for me, then slower as the time draws near for my wife to give birth to our third child.  Ebony is also nearly ready to give birth.  The two of them have grown a lot closer, at Ebony’s subtle urging.  She’s tried to hang around Trudy whenever possible.  She doesn’t say it when asked, but I know Ebony pretty well, she’s scared about the baby and Trudy’s done this twice already, so Ebony is trying to get her help with what to do and all.  Trudy won’t ever tell me what they talk about.

 As the time gets closer when both Ebony and my wife will have their children, I am consumed more and more by the idea that Ebony’s baby might be mine and I won’t get to be a father to it.  Bray will be a wonderful father to the baby, it’ll grow up to be a good person, but it’s not the same.  How will I get through the rest of my life with the question everyday in the back of my mind of whether or not the child is mine?

 Bray and Ebony are wanting to take a trip, and they invite Amber, Trudy and I to go with them.  I’m very much against it, but Trudy wants to go.  She’s been doing nothing with herself recently other than sitting around the mall and she’s going crazy.  So, after a lot of convincing, I make arrangements to have Salene watch the babies, Ticia is off somewhere with an old friend of ours.  I wish she were here.  I’d like to talk to her about the situation.  She would try to help me.  I don’t know if she could, but she would try.  That’s why our friendship has and will be a great one.

 “Where are we going?” I ask, still very upset at this trip.  I can’t believe that Bray agreed to bring his wife out like this.  The rate they’re going, Ebony and Trudy are going to go into labor any day now.  They’ve even managed to have a case of false labor less than an hour apart from each other.  No one has answered my question yet, so I ask again “Where are we going?”  Trudy says “We’re going to the Chosen base where we stayed after we came back together from the scattering.”  “Why?”  I ask.  Trudy responds “They have better facilities there for delivering babies, and Ebony and I both are about to go into labor.”  I ask how they know that.  “Tai-San hasn’t been wrong yet.” Bray says.  I think to myself that he’s got a point.

 So we get there and we all sit around talking, or they talk and I just really sit around and laugh sometimes.  They’re talking about old tribe memories, so I don’t know about those.  I get involved when they talk about times from school, Amber is just the opposite, talking about the tribe stuff and feeling left out of the school stuff.  I’m more focused on Trudy.  She isn’t looking well at all.  “Are you okay sweetie?”  I ask her.  “Yeah Jaymes, I’ll be fine, I’m about to have a baby remember.”  I nod to her.

 We stay there for a week when Trudy’s water breaks.  Bray and Amber jump right in.  The Chosen birthing room is small, so I have to wait outside with Ebony.  “Any time now.” She says.  I respond “Soon now.”

 After 4 hours, I’m alone.  Not long after Trudy started her labor, Ebony started hers.  I’m scared for them both because I can’t be there with them.  I’m helpless to control the situation.  I wait and wait and wait.

 After what seems an eternity, Amber comes out and shows me a baby “Ebony and Bray have a daughter.”  I ask “Is she…”  Amber says “She’s fine, the birth was flawless this time.”  She takes her back in to clean her and wrap her up.  I still hear my Trudy struggling with her baby.  After what seems like another eternity, I hear Trudy stop struggling.  It takes a while for Amber to come out this time.  She isn’t carrying a baby this time.  When she comes out, she puts her forehead on my chest and she’s crying.  “You had a daughter Wolf.  She was stillborn.  There was nothing we could do.”  I fall to the floor and start to cry.  “Eagle…oh Eagle.  She was my little girl.”  I cry for a long time.  Amber sits in the floor and cries with me.  “Wolf, I’m so sorry.  I wish I could…”  she trails off, knowing there’s nothing she can do.  “I want to see them.”

 Amber takes my hand and leads me in to the room where Trudy is holding our little girl, a life taken before she had a chance to live.  When I walk over to her, Trudy starts to cry even harder than she already was.  “I’m sorry Jaymes.  I’m so sorry.”  I lean over and I kiss my dead little girl and I say “I’m sorry I never got to meet you little beauty.”  Then I kiss Trudy, but I don’t say anything.  I can’t think of any words to describe this hurt or to even make it bearable.  Amber says we need to give her our little girl so they can get her ready to be buried.  Ebony and Bray are discussing something quietly, but I’m not listening to them, then Ebony says “Are you sure Bray?”  he nods and Ebony says “Jaymes.”  I look at her and she continues.  “I just told Bray…you were the father.  We want you and Trudy to raise her.  You can do it better than we can.”  I don’t know what to say, but Trudy starts crying and takes Ebony’s child in her arms and kisses it and looks to Ebony and says “We’ll do our best.”

 Once Trudy and Ebony are on their feet again, we prepare to bury our daughter, who Trudy and I agreed to name Fire, because love for her burns in both our souls.  I ask for us to bury her in a special place.  We take her and in a ceremony that Amber oversees, we bury Fire beside Patsy.  “I love you little daughter, I say.  Then I kneel at Patsy grave and say “I’m counting on you to keep her safe Patsy.”  I almost swear I hear Patsy’s voice in the wind say “I promise.”  After a while we start walking back to the mall.  Ebony is walking with us watching Trudy hold the daughter that she gave up, an ultimate sacrifice, to us to watch over and raise.  During discussions, we decide that we should name the baby Precious.  I playfully poke at her as we walk  Everyone agrees that Precious is a good name.  I fall a little behind and Ebony slows down to walk with me.  She takes my arm to comfort me over the loss of my daughter.  I don’t say anything for a while, then as I watch Trudy hold the little girl, I say “I know you very well Ebony.”  “I don’t understand.” She responds.  Softly, to make sure none of the others hear I say “Bray won’t be happy if he ever finds out you gave us his daughter.”  Ebony gives me a knowing look and says again “I don’t know what you mean.”