THE SEARCH

I search the recesses of my mind

Searching for me, but what will I find

The mother, the wife, or the caretaker of lives

The poet, the artist, or someone who, on life just thrives

I have also tried to search my soul

But I'm afraid I have lost it, and all control

Will it matter if I have lost every part of myself

Fragmented and scattered, like books on a shelf

Somewhere I must be, but where shall I look

I'm beginning to feel like a fish on a hook

Knowing my fate lies somewhere ahead

But just like the fish I soon will be dead

As I chase fleeting shadows throughout my mind

I try to discover the meaning of mankind

Do we matter at all, is it just some cruel hoax

Is there really a God, or just a keeper of jokes

I run to and fro, and yet I can't find

The answers I seek, lost within my mind

Who would I be, if I could pick and choose

The mother, the wife, an artist, a muse

Is the real me hiding somewhere in here

Or do I know who I am, and it's the discovery I fear

For what if I found out I am not the me I would wish

But rather that caught, and soon to be dead fish

Surely God would not allow this to be

Unless, He is playing a cruel joke on me

So I scamper on through this gelatinous mess

And I hope I find me, or at least an address

Where perhaps on the door I can knock and find

The me I've been searching for in my mind

A woman who loves, and has love in return

Happy and healthy, and for nothing to yearn

Copyright 2000

CAZAM

You may see more of Cazam's work on her wonderful website at:  Cazam   http://homestead.juno.com/modzelew/index.html

I truly enjoyed her pages!