--Wonderview Football has two plays: Flying Fitzgerald and KILL!
--The leading cause of death in Arkansas is playing football versus Wonderview.
--We don't go out to play, we go out to slaughter.
--When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Wonderview Football players.
--Wonderview Football is the reason Waldo is hiding.
--Spiders are Wonderviewaphobic.
--Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it's a Wonderview Footballocracy.
--Peyton Manning's favorite football team is Wonderview.
--The original title for Rambo III was Rambo vs. Wonderview Football. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long. As of today, Rambo has recovered quite wonderfully, he's just not able to make any more movies.
--Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off bats. Wonderview Football players bite the heads off Siberian tigers, for warmup.
--Wonderview's football team was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.
--Wonderview's football team does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because a defeat is a dish best served cold.
--If Wonderview's football team was gay, Chuck Norris would play.
--We could block a Chuck Norris Roundhouse kick Field Goal, and then run it in for a touchdown.
--The wind from one of Jimmie DuVall's kicks once broke a neck.
--There are two types of people in this world...those who suck and those who play football at Wonderview.
--The last thing you hear before playing football against Wonderview? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
--If at first you don't succeed, you obviously don't play football at Wonderview.
--Wonderview Football was what Willis was talkin' about.
--Wonderview Football uses Tabasco sauce for eyedrops.
--Wonderview Football stared evil in the eyes, and it backed down.
--Wonderview Football puts the laughter in manslaughter.
--Wonderview Football is undefeated for 73 straight years...seriously.