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From The Heart | |
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From The Heart | |
eyes of fire
heart of ice
hurt me once
hurt me twice
run away
run on back
take it all
give nothing back
weak enough
to still believe
not strong enough
to ever leave
Your eyes see through me
As if I don't exist.
Don't blame me for your regrets
Because things aren't what you wished.
It takes more than one to play
This game that has no rules.
You had to know in the end
We'd both come out as fools.
Neither of us wants anymore.
What happened was a one time thing.
But when we're together now,
I feel the resentment that you bring.
So why do I feel guilty?
Why are we pointing blame?
There's no need to cast your eyes away.
There's no need to be ashamed.
The phone rings
You answer, greeted by silence
I hear your fear
I hear your frustration
You hear my soft breathing
You hear my tears
We say more
Without ever saying a word.
I thought you were different.
I should have known better.
But you made me feel special.
You made me feel wanted.
And I wanted you.
From the first time you gave
me that sideways glance,
I’ve wanted you.
And I had you.
It never felt more right.
You were so perfect,
so sensitive and charming.
I didn’t want it to end,
but I knew it would.
And then we’d have to figure
out where to go from here.
But you left me.
You left me alone, to
deal with whatever consequences
may come with our unspoken deal.
Not a day went by that
I didn’t think of you.
I actually missed you,
and I don’t even know you.
So why is it so hard?
I can’t forget about you,
even if I wanted to.
Lemon-lime, thirty-three, Creed…
Every day, things remind me.
And when I see you,
You act as if nothing happened,
yet I sense your discomfort.
I have so many questions.
I want to tell you so much.
But you look right through me,
like I’m no one special.
I wonder what it would be like
to be with you every day.
But I’ll never know.
Things were over before they even began.
Our song comes on the radio.
I think back to everything we did.
The good times.
The bad times.
Our little walks in the park.
Memories of you flood my mind
and warm my heart.
The love we shared makes me wonder:
Will I love anyone as much as I loved you?
If I were to say I'm completely over you
it would be a lie.
If I said I was still in love with you
I'd only be telling half the truth.
I long for your touch.
I want you to hold me,
to tell me it was all a nightmare.
Then reality hits.
I realize you will always be a part of me.
No matter what I tell myself,
I know I will always love you in some way.
But I also know we will never
be together again.
We are not meant to be.
Sometimes I cry.
Sometimes I smile and even laugh.
I still wish you to be by my side.
I talk about you still,
but not often.
In a way, I'm glad it's over.
I feel lighter,
as if a huge weight has been lifted from me.
I wish you love and happiness.
Just not with me anymore.
Picking my clothes up
from the floor from which
they've been strewn,
I come across
a broken promise.
Lies written on
a piece of paper,
meant to make me smile,
meant to make me
feel secure and happy.
The scrawled words bring
nothing but tears,
the misspelled words
fill me with loathing.
I run my finger over
the signature at the bottom
and come to a realization.
The words always and forever
obviously hold different
meanings to different people.
Once, I believed in love.
I was in love with you.
Once, I had faith.
I had faith in our love.
Once, I was happy.
I thought nothing was wrong.
Once, I was betrayed.
I was betrayed by the love
I once had faith in.
Now I have nothing
broken
promises
without
remorse
bring
only
tears
of
sorrow
weary
heart
will
never
trust
itself
to
love
again
pieces
of
what
once
was
love
now
lay
broken
Velvety swirls
illustrate unquenched
desires.
A dizzying array
of colors
delight the eyes
but fool the mind.
Reason vacates.
Delirium resides.
Illusion becomes reality.
Why do I waste
time sitting here
by myself thinking
of you when
I know you aren’t
thinking of me?
Why do I cry
myself to sleep
every night,
thinking I’ve
done something
to turn you away?
How can you
see my tears
and look away
as if you don’t
care about me
or my feelings?
How can you
expect me to
go on with life
as usual and
pretend I never
loved you?
He looks at the clock
And knows she will be mad.
He’s late getting home again.
But this time it will be bad.
She’ll ask questions,
And he won’t be able to say
The things she wants to hear.
He has to tell her today.
He has to tell her
He doesn’t love her anymore,
That his heart belongs to another.
And then he’ll walk out the door.
He’ll leave everything
He’s worked to achieve
In a haze of anger and tears
So he can once again believe.
He had never thought
That another could compete
for his affection and his love.
But now his heart and soul are complete.
She sits in her car
in front of his house
knowing she should go.
He is not hers,
she is not his,
no one can know.
She is bound to another,
a promise she made
with no doubt and no fear.
She looks at the house,
turns the key
and wipes away a tear.
Her heart tells her
to go in and be with him.
The feeling is so strong.
Her mind tells her
to go back home.
This is all wrong.
He looks out the
window as the engine
turns in the night.
He knew she couldn't
stay. It just
wouldn't be right.
My heart skips a beat
every time you look my way.
My whole being melts
when you tell me to stay.
I've never felt like this
for anyone before.
The love we've shared
has opened a new door.
When you say, "I love you,"
you can almost see me glow.
And even when you don't say it,
deep inside I know
I'm the only one for you,
and you're the one I adore.
I'd spent my life searching.
I don't have to look anymore.
I smile secretly when they tell me
what you've been saying.
It's as if you spin these stories,
knowing they'll get back to me and
just maybe you can get under my skin.
Or is your goal to get me back again?
Are you trying to make me jealous
by dropping names of other girls?
Trying to make me pity you by spilling
the pathetic details of your life?
I know you well enough to know you
are good at talking the talk.
But when it comes time to walk the walk,
your bluff is called.
I overlooked it before, thinking maybe
you'd be able to straighten out.
But you didn't, and we're finished, and
I have moved on this time.
My stories aren't fake,
and they aren't told with the intention
to fall on your ears.
I hear you're green with envy.
But it doens't really matter.
I'm happier without your lies.
And that's the truth.
My emotions are haywire.
My heart is on the floor.
Tonight you told me
you don't love me anymore.
My eyes filled with tears
as I heard your voice shake.
The painful words kept coming
and I felt my heart break.
I'm trying to understand
just why you had to leave.
I find the reasons you gave
quite difficult to believe.
Now I sit here by myself
trying to understand.
Is it really over?
This isn't what we planned.
I know how you
sit and laugh at me.
I was blinded by your
charms, thinking you
were as true to me
as I was to you.
But alas, your actions
and harsh words opened
my eyes to who,
and what,
you really are.
I may have been
naive, too trusting...
an unseeing fool.
But now I know better.
I learn from my mistakes.
And that's exactly
what you are to me now.
raisins on the floor
in the dark
no desire to have light
in the room
stuck in the carpet
shift in the chair
to avoid squashing them more
thinking of you
stomp on the raisins
smashing them and you
into oblivion
Back against the wall,
flesh against flesh,
hearts racing,
you steal my soul
with one passionate kiss.
My mind explodes;
I am yours.
Locked in this chamber,
Lonely and dark,
I wait for your love
To come set me free
From this pain,
This agony,
This depression
That holds me prisoner
A sacred trust has been broken.
You act like you are so much better
Than me and everyone around you.
But you are nothing but a liar.
Your hypocrisy scars my mind,
Like the searing lies you spill unto me.
You treat people as if they were put
On this earth for your disposal
To use and abuse as you wish.
Just remember next time you start
Preaching about the horrible person
I am, or she is, or he is...
You remember that secret you are harboring
From the people who trust and care
About you the most.
It would be a shame if you were to
Fall off of the pedestal you've placed yourself
My love for you swims
in waters of uncertainty.
Your words tell me one thing,
while your eyes hold other truths.
We both resist,
afraid to allow ourselves
to drown in the overwhelming
emotions we make each other feel.
Yet we don't want to let go,
knowing full well
if this ends,
so will we.
Once again
Hope has faded.
I sit here and
Reflect upon who
I am and why
You can't love me.
Or why you WON'T.
I can never tell
The difference
I sit alone in front of my TV.
The images flash before my eyes,
yet I see only you.
Just the other day we were together,
laughing and smiling
and kissing and loving.
From the beginning it all seemed too
good to be true, we were so happy.
But, unlike TV, our problems couldn't
be fixed in less than half an hour,
and they tore you from my arms
and ejected me from your life.
Now I'm alone on my couch
wondering if you're missing me,
remembering me, loving me, thinking of me...
as much as I am of you.
You intoxicate me.
I am not myself with you.
I stumble over my words,
My heart pounds,
My soul aches.
Yet I am invincible.
You fill me with freedom
And I can fly.
waves crashing
words flowing
hearts pounding
palms sweating
eyes meeting
desire churning...
kiss me
Alone in my room
I am haunted
By thoughts of you
The image of your face
The echo of your laugh
The softness of your touch
All play in my mind
Teasing, tormenting me
Making me realize I will
Never experience them again
Making me realize I will
Never experience you again
hop on back to my pad