Hello, my name is Becky and I'm really glad you stopped by.
Well since you are here, you probably have some interest in infertility. You will find that this page is not as much about my own infertility as about friendship. I will tell you though that I an my husband have been dealing with infertility for 15 years now. That is why of course, I decided to write about this subject. I hope you will use this page as a way to bless your family and friends that deal with infertility on a daily basis. I pray also it will show you how much they love you, and want you to understand them.


Infertility and Friendship

  I know you, as a friend of a couple waiting for that most special Gift
 from God, never mean to be insensitive. Sometimes though it may be hard
        for you to understand the anguish they are feeling when......Your sweet two year old, all in the five minutes you left him, methodically put all the trash you thought you had up out of his reach, in the middle of the living room, tore off his diaper and smeared all the good stuff in it on your kitchen floor and then threw up all over your clean carpet. Of course this also happens to be the time your Mother-in Law (who is a fanatic about housecleaning) is due to stop in any minute! Or when your precious little girl tells, well... everyone, that she has a boo boo on her wee wee and "do you want to see it?" Yes, but for all this, that child is still precious, and to the Couple In Waiting, those life scenes can seem out of reach and oh so heart wrenching. A beautiful song that express's alot of the feelings your friends may be dealing with if you would like to read it, is Thought You'd Be Here - by Wes King


Some Do's and Don'ts

to Say To A Childless Couple.

Please Don't Say:  "This must be the will of God for your life."-
That may be, but if you lost a loved one to death, would
you really want someone to say that to you in your grief?

        Please Do Say:  "Can I pray with you about this"?

Please Don't Say: "You can always adopt a child"- True, and adoption
  is a blessing for alot of people, but for many women they still feel the
   need to bear a child. Consider Proverbs 30:15-16,..."There are three
 things that are never satisfied, four that never say, 'enough'!: the grave,
   the barren womb, land, which is never satisfied with water, and fire,
     which never says, 'Enough!'

 Please Do Say:  "I will pray for you fervently and ask the Lord to bless
                you and give you the desire of your heart".



 Don'ts with Quotes

"You're trying too hard, it should just happen."
"You should adopt and then you'd get pregnant."
Only one percent of couples who adopt, get pregnant.
A Quote: "This always irritated me too . . . I guess because it made me feel like it was 'my fault' I couldn't get pregnant. You know, like if we would start to adopt, we would relax and 'bingo' we'd be doing it right and get pregnant!"

"Stress is causing it"
"You just need to *relax* and you'll get pregnant."
A Quote: " Infertility is not just 
a state of mind. Relaxing 
didn't make me start ovulating,
it was the Clomid"

"I'd give you mine if I could"
A Quote: "I understand that the person is just trying to say she cares, but this can be a particularly painful statement for the women with an infertility problem"

"You are so lucky not to have kids right now, because
you can just do whatever you want whenever you want"
 A Quote: "It just gets frustrating because we all want children, and it seems like people try to "comfort" me by telling me all of the negative reasons on why not to have children. Like I said it would be nice if we had the choice of being parents or not in the first place."

 " God knows what is
best for you"
 A Quote: "I know that these are very true statements but when I'm
feeling about as low as I can be and I'm balling my eyes out these words aren't very comforting coming from people that have children and have no clue as to what my husband and I are going through."

Extremely insensitive things to say to the childless women 

"Would you like one of my children?"

"So, you have to go through a little treatment, no big deal."

"So are you still trying?"

"Have a bun in the oven yet?"

"When are you going to give me a grand baby?"

"Maybe you're not doing it right."

"Isn't she/he cute...
wouldn't you like one"

Some Do's' Don'ts and Quotes, from woman
who have miscarried.

"At least it didn't have a heartbeat yet."
A Quote: " I still mourn the
loss of our children. I wonder what they would have been like. I wonder who they would have looked like, whether they were sons or
daughters. How can people be so
crass at such a heart wrenching experience?

"It was probably nature's way of resolving a deformity"
A Quote: "It isn't true
that most miscarriages are due to a problem with the development of the fetus, but many people think this is the case.  Again, it is hardly comforting".

Do Say: "I am so sorry that
you lost the baby. I know how much you loved and wanted it."

*Thank you LIW for this special list of Do's, Don'ts and quotes. I really appreciate you sending them to me*


  Me and Mine

   I would like to say as a Mother in Waiting that being a childless couple has
   been very difficult for me and my husband, but we know that to have true
      happiness (with or without a child) we must.."Be joyful always; pray
  continually; give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God's will for you
          in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18






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