I Thought That I Loved You

I thought we cared for each other
I guess I did something very bad
To make you oh so very mad.
My friends say "No it wasn't your fault. No not at all."
Then I said to them "Then why did he leave me here all alone to fall?"
They always tell me and proceed to "It wasn't your fault."
Then why did he make that choice to degrade me? I must have done something wrong.
He told me that everything would be alright.
I talked it over with him, but not that night.
Then we started to fight.
Was it my fault that he kept it from me for oh so long?
He told me "I would have told I wasn't going to wait that long."
Well days felt like months and months felt like years
Whenever I am sitting with him my eyes fill up with tears.
He was my first love I can truly say
He really did hurt me each and every way
You'll never know the pain I went and go through each day
Until one day you give your heart away.
And then you get played,
It feels like they had ripped it out and threw it away
After months that, that day has happened I am still trying to be strong
I know you're probably thinking you are so wrong.
I am still with him.
Are people right?
Once a cheater,
Always a cheater?
I will truly never know
I will only try to let my happiness show
It will be so hard to see him go
I know it may be better for me to say goodbye
But deep within my heart I will never know just why.
I stay up at night crying my heart out
I always try to convince myself that it was his fault without a doubt
But then I start to think if I only kept him happy,
Then I wouldn't be sitting here getting all sappy.
I want him to go through the same pain as I
I want him to just sit at home and cry.
I can guarantee you that the pain will most definitely never come from me.
I want him to come running back
Then I will say to him "Get out of here you dirty rat."
I know it sounds cold for everything I feel
But that's how I truly do feel
Nothing I said is anything but real
Even though I love him I really do
I feel as if there is nothing, nothing I can do.
I've heard him say "I'm sorry"
It seems like it's just one big old story.
I've heard it once
I've heard it twice
I've heard it a million times
Nothing he ever says or does will take away the pain
That I received that tragic day.