|A Jamaican opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police (American) arrived at the scene, the Jamaican was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Hafficer, look whey dem do to mi bumbaclaat Bimmah!", he whined "You Jamaicans are so materialistic and show-off, you make me sick!", retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!" "Rahtid..." replied the Jamaican, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm was, "Raas claat, mi Rolex!!!!|
|For Muh Moody Ppl.. Gi Dem A Taste Of It All Eh!|
|..A Jamaican's Greed..|
|*+Citizens have to protect police from gunman.
*+You will have police cars parked at rum bars.
*+Gyals fat up themselves with fowl pill and bleach out them skin with toothpaste.
*+Country people a carry water and wood pon dem head and cell phone pon dem waist.
*+The more mess politician mek is the more pay dem get.
*+You have bicycle-by shootings.
*+Police go to arrest tief and dont have a handcuff.
*+Is the greatest tourist attraction: RENT A DREAD!
*+Traffic is so bad dat you reach work quicker walking than driving.
*+Firefighter reach di fire scene and have no water to out the fire.
|..Only In Jamaica..|
|10 Indisputable Truths Black People Know, But White People Don't Admit:
1. Elvis is dead.
2. Anything below 45 degrees is cold. You should be wearing a jacket and long pants.
3. Jesus was not White.
4. Skinny does not equal sexy.
5. Black folks do tan!
6. N' SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5
7. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
8. Bob Hope has never been funny.
9. In his prime, Joe Louis would have beat the tar out of Rocky Marciano.(So would Muhammad Ali)
10. Money isn't everything.
|10 Indisputable Truths White People Know, But Black People Don't Admit:
1. Tupac is dead.
2. Gold plating does not make everything better.
3. Having a ring on every finger is too much.
4. O.J. did it
5. Teeth should not be decorated.
6. There are some outfits that hats don't go with.
7. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
8. Larry Bird could play.
9. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.
10.Your pastor doesn't know everything.
|10 things White and Black people know but Spanish people don't admit:
1. Chicken is food, not a roommate
2. Its the Yankees not the Jankees
3. Your country's flag is not a car decoration
4. If _______(fill in the blank with your country) is so beautiful and nice, what are you doing here???
5. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family
6. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement
7. There are other foods beside Arroz con Pollo
8. Jesus is not a name for your son
9. Maria is a name but not for every other daughter
10. Despite what Rita Moreno sang...EVERYTHING IS NOT FREE IN AMERICA!!