Nobody likes me
Ev'rybody hates me
Guess I'll go eat worms

Long, thin, slimy ones
Short, fat, juicy ones
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms.

Down goes the first one
Down goes the second one
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm

Long, thin, slimy ones
Short, fat, juicy ones
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms.

Up comes the first one
Up come the second one
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm

Long, thin, slimy ones
Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms.

Sittin' on my fencepost, chewing my bubblegum (chew, chew, chew, chew) 
Playin' with my yo-yo, wee-oo! wee-oo! 
When along came Herman the worm 
And he was this big (make a motion as if measuring a tiny worm) 
And I said: "Herman? What happened?" 
"I ate my sister." 

Sittin' on my fencepost, chewing my bubblegum (chew, chew, chew, chew) 
Playin' with my yo-yo, wee-oo! wee-oo! 
When along came Herman the worm 
And he was this big (make a motion as if measuring a bigger worm) 
And I said: "Herman? What happened?" 
"I ate my brother." 

Sittin' on my fencepost, chewing my bubblegum (chew, chew, chew, chew) 
Playin' with my yo-yo, wee-oo! wee-oo! 
When along came Herman the worm 
And he was this big (make a motion as if measuring a bigger worm) 
And I said: "Herman? What happened?" 
"I ate my Mother." 

Sittin' on my fencepost, chewing my bubblegum (chew, chew, chew, chew) 
Playin' with my yo-yo, wee-oo! wee-oo! 
When along came Herman the worm 
And he was this big (make a motion as if measuring a bigger worm) 
And I said: "Herman? What happened?" 
"I ate my father." 

Sittin' on my fencepost, chewing my bubblegum (chew, chew, chew, chew) 
Playin' with my yo-yo, wee-oo! wee-oo! 
When along came Herman the worm 
And he was this big (make a motion as if measuring a tiny worm) 
And I said: "Herman? What happened?" 
"I burped." 

I guess that worm is there to stay
Unless . . .
I swallow a bird some day!

The littlest worm
(The littlest worm)
You ever saw
(You ever saw)
Got stuck inside
(Got stuck inside)
My soda straw
(My soda straw)

The littlest worm you ever saw
Got stuck inside my soda straw

He said to me
(He said to me)
"Don't take a sip
("Don't take a sip)
'Cause if you do
('Cause if you do)
You'll get real sick."
(You'll get real sick.")

He said to me, "Don't take a sip,
'Cause if you do, you'll get real sick."

I took a sip
(I took a sip)
And he went down
(And he went down)
Right through my pipe
(Right through my pipe)
He must have drowned
(He must have drowned)

I took a sip and he went down
Right through my pipe, he must have drowned

He was my pal
(He was my pal)
He was my friend
(He was my friend)
There is no more
(There is no more)
This is the end
(This is the end)

He was my pal, he was my friend
There is no more, this is the end.

Now don't you fret
(Now don't you fret)
Now don't you fear
(Now don't you fear)
That little worm
(That little worm)
Had scuba gear
(Had scuba gear)

Now don't you fret, now don't you fear,
That little worm had scuba gear. 

He said to me
don't take a sip
for it you do
I surly slip

He said to me don't take a sip, 
for if you do I surely slip.

I took a sip
and he went down
right through my pipes
he must of drown

I took a sip and he went down, 
right through my pipes he must of drown.

I coughed him up
and he was dead
I buried him
in my counselors bed (or insert a name for counselors)

I coughed him up and he was dead,
I buried him in my counselors bed

He was my pal
he was my friend
but now he's gone
and thats the end

He was my pal, he was my friend, 
but now he's gone and thats the end

That is the end
there is no more
until I meet
that worm once more.

That is the end, there is no more, 
until I meet that worm once more.
 

Every night this worm would dream
Of chocolate cake and white ice cream.
But in the morning he would hear,
"Come down and eat your apple, Dear." 

He hated apples quite a bunch,
But that is what he had for lunch.
At dinner time, to end each day,
An apple, raw, the same old way. 

He asked his mom for something new,
A big pot roast or maybe stew.
"How about a steak or flounder?
Or better yet a quarter pounder!" 

But Missus Worm was not amused.
She thought her Willie quite confused.
Apples were always a worm's delight,
They savored each and every bite. 

She said "My son, clean up you act.
Just eat your food and don't talk back."
He told his friends, "She made it clear,
If that's the deal, I'm out of here." 

He dressed up in his Sunday suit
And said, "I'm tired of eating fruit,
I crave some meat, I need some starches."
And crawled off for the golden arches. 

He inched along and sang a song,
"Come with me, you can't go wrong.
Climb aboard and get away,
Have you had your break today?" 

Willie entered with a wiggle,
Which made the people point and giggle.
He checked the menu, gave a squeal,
Then ordered up a happy meal. 

He ate the food with great delight.
He thought the fries were done just right.
When through, he said, "I think I'll try
A great big piece of that hot pie." 

He found the crust so crisp and nice
With a tiny hint of tasty spice.
But the goo inside's what made him grin.
As it trickled down his wee worm chin. 

He asked the folks at his final bite,
"Wow, what's inside of this delight?"
The manager came by to say,
"I picked those apples just today. 

"Don't be surprised, I wouldn't lie.
You just ate an apple pie."
Willie said, "How can that be?
I thought that you were kiddin' me. 

"I ate 'em raw for every meal,
In pie they're great. Wow! What a deal!
I'd crawl home a happy guy.
If I could bake an apple pie." 

The manager took him to the back,
Took a little apron off a rack.
Said, "This young worm here wants to try
To learn to bake an apple pie." 

First he had to roll the dough
So he could get the crust just so.
He mixed the filling to begin
To scoop the goop and apples in. 

His pie was great---they told him so.
Then waved good-bye ---he had to go.
"Have a nice day and you come back.
We'll share your next Big Mac Attack." 

He headed home to the apple tree
With a bag of dough and a recipe.
He inched along, his hopes sky high,
He'd bake his folks an apple pie. 

He gave a knock at the front hole.
His mother answered, "Bless my Soul.
Guess who's here?--It's little Willie!
Welcome home, we were worried silly. 

"We placed an ad in the Worm Gazette.
Put a 'Worm lost' spot on the internet.
It's really great to have you back.
Would you like an apple for a snack?" 

"No thanks," said Willie with a smile,
"May I use the kitchen for a while?"
He baked a pie---Oh! What a sight!
His family ate it with delight. 

His dad said, "Son, I'll tell you true.
We're tired of those raw apples, too.
We want you here, please join the firm.
You'll be the world's first baker worm." 

So Willie wears a tall white hat.
The worms think he's a real cool cat.
The orchard's filled with happy critters.
And Willie now bakes apple fritters. 

Smart Willie took a situation
And used his worm imagination.
Gave dull, raw apples a little twist.
Bakes fritters, pies and apple crisp. 

Sometimes when folks just can't agree
They talk it over and then may see:
They can turn apples into pies.
That's what we call a compromise.