| DOLEMITE |
| copyright 1975 |
| Rudy Ray Moore is the baddest motherfucker the world has ever known. Well, the part of the world that watches shitty 70's blaxploitation movies. Naturally, I'm included in that group, and Rudy is my hero. Moore plays Dolemite, a pimp who is released from prison because the crime rate has gone up after he got arrested, so he's obviously not the problem. It's a good thing the system really doesn't work like that. This is confirmed when two minutes after getting out of prison, Dolemite shoots some guys who interrupted him while he was getting road head. Rudy finds out that while he was incarcerated he lost the nightclub to rival pimp, Willie Green. Dolemite is able to get the club back easy enough, but ol' Willie don't play that shit so he shows up with some thugs to take care of Dolemite. Of course, Willie didn't count on the Nell Carter-esque Queen Bee and loyal army of kung-fu hookers! This movie is probably one of the crappiest ever made, but you have to love it! I thinks it's hilarious and it is one of my favorites. For the uninitiated, here's a few things you'll be seeing in this film-- Dolemite talking in rhyme, a bad white guy named Mr. White, a crackhead named the Creeper that hangs out at Hamburger stands, black titty, horrible editing, lots of boom mikes, tons of polyester, poorly choreographed fights, filthy language, a hairy white guy's ass, a sex scene that shows the woman's perspective of Dolemite on top of her, gratuitous keeping down of the black man by The Man, and much, much more! If you want some funky good shit, this is the ticket. I'd always enjoyed Dolemite, but recently I watched it and Petey Wheatstraw while drunk off my white ass (meh, I'm almost 21). They are even better when you're under the influence! I give Dolemite the highest recommendation possible and urge everyone to see it. If you don't, you're part of the problem. Tell the Man to fuck off and discover the badness that is Rudy Ray Moore, mother fucker! |
| 2 out of 5. If you like bad movies, see this, you rat soup eatin' honky mother fucker. You shan't be disappointed. |
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