I FUCKING LOVE DRINKING!!!

Drinking fucking owns. Nothing's better than sipping on a Glenlivet Scotch after snorting an 8ball in 30 minutes. I love drinking scotch, gin, vodka, formaldehyde, and beer. Beer is pretty good, if of course you get the real European lager, not that pussy ass watered down American shit. My dad tells me if I drink Grolsch, it will put hair on my balls. Bitches fucking love nut hair. That's what my dad tells me. Gloatmiel says his pubes are as long as a fjord. I didn't believe him until he showed me the medical records of one of his boyfriends who was sent to the hospital after getting a Gloatmiel pube hairball caught in his throat.

"HE WAS NOT MY BOYFRIEND. HE WAS YOUR MOTHER! YOUR MOTHER CHUGS SO MUCH COCK SHE HAS SO MUCH PROTEIN IN HER BODY THAT SHE PUTS PEANUT BUTTER TO SHAME."

(p.s. Gloatmiel has a really bad French accent).

Don't hide it, dude. You love the taste of manseed as it glides down your esophagus.

"You are mistaken young one. I believe you've been smoking too much rock, or too much cock."

That's it. I raped your mother. There I said it.

"I will cut you, then destroy you. You fucking dissident."

Anyfarts, back to drinking. Drinking fucking rules. If it wasn't for alcohol and drugs I wouldn't have anything to live for. In retrospect, if there wasn't alcohol, we wouldn't have douchebags like Gloatmiel running around and pooping on everything. He only exists because his mom has an affliction for gin martini's and white trash man soup.

"My dad is not white trash. He's a carney!"

1 Point for Siggy.

"My dad is a pedophile."