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Buzz - vocals, nasal sounds, knee slaps
Born and raised on the Island of Kentucky, "Buzz" is the mystery man of Wounded Bea. What is his secret? What does he have up his nose? Does he actually play an instrument? Why the hell did we let him in the band? The answers to these questions may never be answered and more are likely to be posed. "Buzz" can often be found standing outside of Virgin Records in Times Square, where he'll let you get your picture taken with his snake with the purchase of Wounded Bea's latest single. "Buzz" is rumored to be the latest rock star to have caught the eye of Pamela Anderson-Lee. Stay tuned for the video.
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Skunk Morris -
vocals, guitar, vibes
Coming a long way from his days as a chain saw repairman, this wanna-be day trader has his sights set on the stars: playing a sold-out gig at Apollo, opening for a double-bill of James Brown and Puff Daddy. He comes from a family of fur trappers on the outskirts of Butte, Montana. He spends his days contemplating whether or not to shave, while his nights are often spent running one-block wind sprints in preparation for the 2008 Olympics, which might be held in Harlem. Little known fact: he is a direct descendant of John Crapper, the inventor of the modern toilet and pillar of English society. |
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Jeanie Bean - vocals, ear muffs, tanbourine
Jeanie Bean was born and raised on the mean streets of Detroit, MI a.k.a., the Motor City or Motown. She once emulated the sounds of Diana Ross, Stevie Wonder, and the Jackson 5 for many of the inner city communities while living homeless on the barren, abandoned streets like the Northwestern highway and Woodward Avenue. She played to not only feed herself, but also her twin brother, her other five brothers and sisters, her handicapped uncle and her ten cats. Jeanie bean played anything she could get her hands on. She can proficiently play the cheese grater, maracas, pots and pans, the skin flute, and the dumpster lids. Jeanie Bean's innate talent was serendipitously discovered by the band's founder, Skunk Morris, who stumbled upon one of her many alley gigs as her mean tambourine skills captured his ears and heart. Jeanie Bean owes her millionaire status, success, and her family's fortuitous move off the cruel streets of Detroit to Skunk and the band. |
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The Gimp - whistle, cacciatore, vocals
Conceived by in vitro fertilization in the high security labs of Los Alamos, New Mexico, The Gimp is the product of the sperm of Roger Whitaker, Kenny G, and Janet Reno's egg. While at his desk at the internet porn company, Whitehouse.com, he was spotted by Skunk Morris and asked to join the band for his connections in the industry. (Skunk apparently thought that he was going to get free porn!) He now enjoys unprecedented fame and fortune and can be spotted driving his hovercraft on the campus of Columbia University. Many people know him affectionately as "That Guy Who Drives the Hovercraft". |
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Poop McGraw -
harmonica, vocals, pit hair
Poop H. McGraw was born into an affluent family on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. He is the only member of the band with over 39 years of education, including such degrees as an MD, PhD (2), Law, M.A., M.S., M.F.A., M.O.P, and B.S. (4) from such top institutions as Stanford University, University of California Berkley, Princeton University, University of Chicago, Grand Lakes University, Harvard University, Faber College (PA), and MIT. Poop first picked up the harmonica on his typical summer get-a-ways to Central West Virginia (his father insisted he should get more accustomed to non-city-life, and grass). There, his Uncle Tooth introduced and taught the complicated sucks and blows of the instrument. After four summers of farming and growing mushrooms off manure, Poop began playing local Russian taverns and transvestite clubs in the NYC and NJ area. He then brought his talents to such bands as Jefferson Starship, Yellow Snow, and The Doyle McCree Band, and later got his big break with Wounded Bea. |
