Game Over: Late Night TV A Star Ocean: Second Story fan-fic By Snow Moon Note: ............................ It was late. ANNOUNCER: It's two AM, time for the Theresa V. Gacholii show. Today's episode: Traumatized RPG characters who have been possesed by random animal-demons. Stay tuned. (cheesy music) THERESA: Hello, and welcome to my show! Today, I am interviewing RPG characters who have been possessed by random demon-animals. First, I would like to remind you-- help is only a step away! If you or a friend needs phsychiatric help but can't pay for it, please call the number on the bottom of your screen to be on our show-- absolutely free! It may not be professional Psychology, but it's the next best thing. Thank you. (smiles) Okay, and now for out first guest. This poor young man has been possessed by a demonic bird who has been known to take over his body at random times. Please give a warm welcome to Daniel Clemmons! (a man apparently in his early twenties enters the room, looking around nervously. He's wearing black armor, minus the helmet, and a bandana which his blond hair spills over. His eyes are green.) THERESA: It's so nice to see you, Daniel-- please, have a seat. DANIEL: Oh, um, thanks. (sits on the edge of a chair, his hands on his knees and looking around nervously) THERESA: Well, Daniel, when were you first possessed? DANIEL: Well, I remember it like it was yesterday...(wavy, fuzzy flashback: Daniel is climbing a tree to get at some apples. Below, his sister is waiting. He reaches for the reddest, juiciest apple on the whole tree, when he accidentally knock s a nest over. A giant red bird flies at him, shrieking the worst, most high-pitched noise ever! His sister screams.) DANIEL: ...and the next thing I knew, I was possesed! Now, whenever someone gets me mad, I transform into this huge red bird and peck at them until the scream the magic word that makes me change back, or die a horrible, bloody death! It's madness, I tell you! THERESA: ... We all feel your pain. DANIEL: But that's not the worst of it! I can always hear his terrible, shrieking voice in my mind! He talks all night and keeps me up! If this goes on much longer, I don't know WHAT I'll do! THERESA: Have you considered exorsism, dear? DANIEL: Of course, but there's no way... (sadly) I'm stuck like this... forever... THERESA: We're here for you, darling, we're here... (pats his hand comfortingly) Oh! You're very cold. Would you like some coffee, something to warm you up...? DANIEL: That's another thing! This armor, I can't take it off! Some guy gave it to me and said it would cure me, but it just sucks the heat right out of the air! And he wouldn't even give my money back! I spent 100,000 G!!! THERESA: ... I don't see how you've survived so long. DANIEL: Well, I read in a book that a certain potion would exorcise the bird, but it didn't it just made me immortal!! I'm hundreds of years old, and I still haven't died! I lost all of my family, my friends, and everyone! (sighs) My life could not suck any more... THERESA: Well, I'm sure I know someone who can share your pain. Our next guest, Mr. Ahston Anchors. (another young man with dark hair and wearing exotic RPG clothes enters. Two dragons, a red one and a blue one, are coming out of his back.) THERESA: I'm glad you could come, Ashton. ASHTON: Thank you for having me. (sits down next to Daniel) Hello. DANIEL: Hey... (glances nervously the other way) Man, I've got such a case of stage fright, I think I'm going to transform... ASHTON: Stage fright? DANIEL: Yup. I mean, just think of all the MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people who could be watching at any given second! Dude, if you mess up, you're screwed for LIFE, man. Totally not funny. ASHTON: ... (gulps) THERESA: Why, that's silly. What makes you think milions of people would be watching this show when it comes on at such an indecent time? Our rating are actually quite poor... ASHTON and DANIEL: ............. THERESA: Anyway... Ahston, about how long would you say you've been possessed? ASHTON: Well, I'm not sure... two, maybe three years? THERESA: That's quite a while. Have you considered exorsism? ASHTON: Well, once I did... But I decided I rather like Gyoro and Ururun. They're very good companions. GYORO: Awrk, awrk! URURUN: Awrooo! THERESA: I see. DANIEL: ....... You named them? I never thought of that. ASHTON: (sweatdrop) Actually, it was a friend of mine's idea... DANIEL: Hmm, I wonder if I should name-- (sweatdrop) No, NOT 8uPARhaxX0r9000000... ASHTON THERESA GYORO and URURUN: .............. (stare) DANIEL: My demon bird seems to think he's a L33T hAxXOR... Sorry 'bout that. ASHTON: But how do you TALK like that...? Isn't it just a terribly distorted way of spelling? DANIEL: Believe me, if you lived with HIM, you'd be able to talk like that, too. THERESA: Ahem. Moving right along, now... Ashton, do you ever regret your decision not to exorcise Gyoro and Ururun? ASHTON: Well, actually... not really... the only better thing I could think of is being possessed by a demon barrel! THERESA: I see. Well, how do you two feel, now that you've met and shared experiences together...? Is it better knowing you're not alone in the world of posessed RPG characters? DANIEL: Well...... ASHTON: Hmm....... DANIEL and ASHTON: Actually, yes! ASHTON: Great! DANIEL: I'm glad I met you! ASHTON: Truth be told, I only did this so that these people would leave me alone. They've been following me for months! Daniel: I know, right? Same here! They just kept following me and insisting I come. I really wasn't in need of it at all... ASHTON: Well, it looks as though we've both been backed into a corner... DANIEL: Say, wanna get out of here and go somewhere we can really talk, without MILLIONS and MILLIONS of people watching our every move? ASHTON: Certainly! That does make me a little nervous, actually... DANIEL: Well, let's go! (the two leave the studio) THERESA: But, wait! Our ratings...! Don't you want to help make this show popular!? (no answer) THERESA: ...... Well, it looks like we've run out of time for tonight! So, see you tomorrow, when we'll be giving a depressed drag queen a complete make over! See you then! Bye-bye! (Cheesy music, as "Theresa V. Gacholii" appears on the screen in big letters) CLAUDE: (switches off the TV) Why do we keep watching that show? It's really bad... RENA: Well, how could we not? Ashton was on tonight. CLAUDE: It's two AM. He was on today. RENA: ...... I think we ought to get some sleep for tomorrow. CLAUDE: Today, actually. We'll be getting sleep for... today. RENA: (doesn't hear him, is walking out of the room) CLAUDE: (sweatdrop) Okay, okay! (switches out lights and leaves the room) END This fanfic and Daniel and Theresa is copyright © 2002 Snow Moon. Star Ocean: Second Story and Ashton, Gryoro, Ururun, Rena, and Claude are copyright © 1999, 2000 Tri-Ace. All rights reserved.