On the lighter side: ECONOMICS – What they don’t teach you in
Micro or Macro |
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TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS You
have two cows. You
sell one and buy a bull. The
herd multiplies; the economy grows. You
retire on the income. FRENCH ECONOMICS You
have two cows. You
go on strike because you want three cows. BRITISH ECONOMICS You
have two cows. They
are both mad cows. ITALIAN ECONOMICS You
have two cows. You
don’t know where they are. You
break for lunch. GERMAN ECONOMICS You
have two cows. You
re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years,
eat once a month and can milk themselves. SWISS ECONOMICS You
have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
charge others for storing them. JAPANESE ECONOMICS You
have two cows. You
re-design them so they are 1/10th the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20
times the milk. RUSSIAN ECONOMICS You
have two cows. You
count them again and learn you have 5 cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You
give up counting and drink more vodka. CHINESE ECONOMICS You
have two cows. You
have 300 people milking them. You
claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone who reports
the actual numbers. |
IRANIAN ECONOMICS You
have two cows. You
don’t know your economy. You
choose one as prime minister and the other as president. AMERICAN ECONOMICS You
have two cows. You
sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You
then profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You
put the blame on some nation with cows and declare that nation a threat to
mankind. You
wage war to save the world and grab the cows. SAUDI ECONOMICS You
have two cows. You
get foreign loans so you can hire foreign nationals to milk the cows. You
sell the milk to pay back the loans. INDIAN ECONOMICS You
have two Cows. You
worship Them. PAKISTANI ECONOMICS You
don’t have any cows. You
claim the Indian cows belong to you. You
ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for warplanes,
Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for submarines, the Swiss
for loans, Russia for drugs, Japan for equipment and
the Arabs for oil. You
use all this to wrest the cows from India and then claim exploitation by the
world. |