My Testimony

Caution: You will be asked to pray at the end.

My Mother has been a Christian all of my life, and my Dad became a Christian later in life. But he also showed us many Christian thing and Christian ways about him. I grew up next door to my Mother's, Mother & Dad, and they made sure that I went to her church; I thanked God for that, and my Grand Dad being so dedicated to making sure that we were taught, about, God and the Bible.

I learned to converse in the Christian way, while I was at church, and entirely different way, when I thought I was not around Christian people. This was very confusing to me, much less to the other people in my life.

At about 12 years of age I knew I needed help, keeping the Christian separate from the non church going people. I knew that I was living a double life, but it was the only way I knew how to survive. A preacher came to visit me one day and talked to me about accepting Jesus in my life as my savior and Lord. Tears flowed as he was talking to me. I wanted to go live with Jesus, in Heaven, so I would not have to face the pain of living on Earth anymore. I was trying as best as I knew how to be good, do what my parents and my grandparents, wanted, me to be. I could not be a Christian in the house hold that I was living, I thought. There were too many double standards As I write this, I see that I am still torn between the world with its reality, and Jesus, and the unseen hope that he offers. (Ephesians 2:1-3)

Require a child to give up reality, and the real world, as he or she perceives it, is one of the cruelest things that Christianity has implied on me many times. Here is an example: Pull off your belt and tell a child that they should come to you.

What kind of results did you get? Why? Jesus said we should come to him as little children. Why? Take a Bible and try to beat someone over the head with it. What kind of results did you get? Why? Where is it stated by Jesus that we must give up all our possessions to be some believers in him? I have tried many time to do just that thing giving up my hopes, and dreams, to place Jesus first in my life, let Jesus care for me. He has not forsaken me, but I have suffered greatly in this life, because of the not ever knowing, if I over looked something, and not completely given everything to him. (Ephesians 2:4-5, 1 John 1:9).

I was in an accident at the age of 5. I fell into a feed grinder and lost 3 toes on my right foot. My pain has been great, learning to walk again. My parents, God Bless them, never did discourage me from doing anything. They believed in my ability to compensate for the missing toes on my right foot.

I had many other problems, growing up. I often wonder, if ether that was given to me had an effect on me. I know that I was very different after the surgery.

Jesus had taken my place! This is what I did not understand for many years.

He was setting down in Heaven, if you were a part of his company, or group, or party, your(my) fate was out of my(our) hands. If Jesus says he knows me, I am saved from the wrath of His Father, and judgement for the works of my life. I was sick with worry, as I am setting waiting on the out come of my fate. Will Jesus remember the things I said about him will he want me to be out of his group? Will he say that I was not in his group? (Ephesians 2:5-7)

Now I cannot see God, but I can hear him, he is saying, "I created man for good works. What good works has he done?"

Long pause, silence. Then God says,

"I want to see my Son."

Jesus is taken out of our group to his father the judge. Before he departs he says to part of the group some words. But I could not hear, there was to much noise, and I was distracted, the people that heard the words Jesus spoke were showing signs of relief they were whispering to each other. Laughing and calm, kicking back . . .

What was it he said? Why are they so calm? (Ephesians 2:8-10)

This was a sort of a dream that I had maybe it was a vision, but I hope that it helps you to understand who I am, and who my Lord is.

While I was searching for what was said to the group ahead of me I could not see the group gathering behind me . . . more were gathering behind me than head of me. Then when I looked again the people in front of me had gone, they were not here anymore; just gone away, out of sight. Only a written trace of their autobiography, about the way they heard about what Jesus said that day. So, as I see it, there is only a few ways to find out about what Jesus said that day that stirred up the people after he left to be with his Father.

1)Read what they wrote about what they said.(Bible)

2)Ask God to reveal to you (me) what was said.

3) Ask Jesus, what he said.

I started to read what was said, from the Bible. I just could not understand how a great person like Jesus, could go to his death believing fiction, a hoax, or a rummer. How his closest followers were willing to give their lives believing that Jesus was the Christ. Then I thought I would find more answers in the history of the world and science. There must be way more information about Jesus written by other people. What I was doing was trying to find how all of this got started. What I found is that people would believe what they wanted to believe. There is less written about his departure from Earth than there was about his birth. Every person would have an opinion about Jesus based on their life experience. The writings of the Dead Sea Scrolls were found in 1947giving more proof of what happened to Jesus. Documented proof the truth of the world.

I remember, a new girl came to our fourth grade class and revealed she knew that the world was flat. The teacher disagreed with the young girl from a different country. She and my teacher began a great debate. The young girl was convincing, in her point of view also. This was so hard for the teacher to teach, a fourth grader; That had never seen the planets or our solar system charts. It is very logical to assume that the world is flat . . . But I am saying that we must trust the ones that have come before us to reveal the truth about what they perceived about the creation. Today the Holocaust is so hard for some to understand or believe that humanity could be so cruel to other humans. (Mat 8:12, Acts 7:54)

Being right about what I believed and finding proof became almost an obsession. I have asked God many times to reveal the truth to me. I want to praise God for not turning me away, for revealing himself to me when I was seeking him. (Philippians 3:15)

God will save those that are setting with his son, Jesus. The first will be last. I have tried to reveal some of what I have learned about God to you, and explain to you how he has dealt with me. Say a prayer with me now:

God, continue to reveal your self to me. I am asking for the truth from you, the truth about your plan for me and my life. Christ Jesus, your Son, gave his life for me on the cross that day. I put my faith in Jesus to save me. Amen.

If you prayed the prayer, you may e-mail me and we can rejoice together.

mail to:wpool1@yahoo.com

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