WRESTLING GLOBE NEWSLETTER
EDITION NUMBER 4
12TH MARCH 2001
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IN THE WRESTLING GLOBE NEWSLETTER THIS WEEK
LATEST NEWS
JAP ATTACK
THE CHOSEN COLUMN
EDDIE GILBERT CAREER PROFILE - PART TWO
T & A (Trivia and Answers)!
WRESTLING HUMOUR - GLADIATOR
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LATEST NEWS - by Matt Singh
Ken Shamrock could make his return within the next month, as there is a rumour that he will be programmed into a feud with Kurt Angle. Paul Heyman should be doing colour commentary on a few more episodes of Raw in the next few weeks, as management was happy with his first stint. Gangrel, The Big Boss Man and some of the other Jakked/Metal crew should all be given their contract releases sometime soon to make room for the pending debuts of Rhino, Jerry Lynn and Yoshihiro Taijri. Expect either the Rock or Steve Austin to turn heel at Wrestlemania, with the most likely option being The Rock. Also expect a Chris Benoit vs Eddie Guererro match at Wrestlemania, which should be a cracker. Smackdown continues to draw bad ratings, as it has done for almost a year now. The pressure of writing fresh storylines for two, two-hour shows and a monthly pay-per-view seems to be getting to the WWF bookers.
The sale of the company is far from final, and it may not go ahead any time soon if recent indications are anything to go by. Eric Bischoff has apparently two huge surprises in store if and when the sale of the company goes ahead. Chris ’Crowbar’ Ford has now been released from his WCW contract, and is free to sign wherever he chooses. Scott Steiner and Diamond Dallas Page are said to be getting along with each other a lot better now after their clash a few months back, and Brian ‘Road Dogg’ James will probably be offered a contract soon. WCW continues to draw lower and lower ratings each week, and a ‘black out’ period may be the best thing for the company right now.
The company is all but dead after Paul Heyman’s appearance on Raw, he’s expected to ink a contract with the WWF in the near future. The whole of the ECW roster have now started to seek bookings elsewhere.
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JAP ATTACK - by Martin Walton
Michinoku Pro made a rare appearance in Tokyo on 3/10 when they drew a sell out crowd of 1,800 to the Korakuen Hall. The main event of the show saw The Great Sasuke, Gran Hamada and the returning Dick Togo defeat Pentagon, Sasuke The Great and Apache. After the show The Great Sasuke was spotted at a local nightclub where he stripped off once again and danced with a couple of strippers (this guy can’t keep his clothes on).
Kensuke Sasaki VS Kazuyushi Fujita (it ain’t going to be pretty).
Riki Choshu/Shiro Koshinaka VS Masa Fuchi/Toshiaki Kawada.
Kojima/Tenzan/Chono VS Tayo/Shinzaki/Muto.
Yuji Nagata VS Manabu Nakanishi (no 1 contenders match).
Don Frye VS Scott Norton.
Jushin Liger vs Kazunari Murakami.
Kendo Ka Shin vs Brian Johnston.
Also, Naoya Ogawa is expected to work Shinya Hashimoto’s Budokan Hall show on 4/18.
New Japan’s attendance figures on the road this week were:
6/3: Tokyo Ota Gym 2,900 in a 5,000 seat building.
8/3: Tochigi 1,800 paid.
10/3 Hiratsuka 3,500 paid.
All Japan announced it’s 14/4 Budokan line up, the major matches look like this:
Toshiaki Kawada VS Keiji Muto
Taiyo Kea and Johnny Smith VS Genichirio Tenryu and Kim Duk
George Hines and Steve Williams vs Satoshi Kojima and Hiroyoshi Tenzan
Following his Budokan match against Keiji Muto, it’s expected that Kawada will take a month off to recover from some problems he’s been having with his right arm.
That’s all for this week, see you folks.
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THE CHOSEN COLUMN - by Nick Wright
Watching Raw this week made me think a lot. It wasn't why Kurt Angle finally got a mean street, or why Chris Benoit is, well, a tweener, but the Vince/Trish angle. It brought back memories, days of when there was just an angle so crappy, you just laughed (you know out of pity like when you watch WCW).
WCW has produced a fair amount of them, we all remember the debut of Fred Ottman's legendary character known as The Shockmaster. A space age character, who proved his power by falling through a wall, and showing the world his amazingly space like working boots. Certainly, part of the world success comes into mind, i.e. the suck part.
Then we have more crap angles which just make you laugh, like Sid asking to re-start a live interview or the lame OJ Simpson car chase at Wrestlemania 12 (it was, wink wink, supposed to be Roddy Piper). You see after all this dross and terd given to us by various promoters alike, it all makes everything seem so great when a cracking angle happens. I'm talking about the Terry Gordy cage door swing at Kerry Von Erich, or the Stone Cold-Pillman confrontation. These angles make a wrestler. While Stone Cold may have earned reputation as a decent worker, and decent interview, some of the angles he was in from 1996-98 made him what he is today. A good angle can make an average wrestler great. So when Rock-Austin say the story line for their match should just be a world title match, they should think that wrestling is about drama, excitement, escapism and that they should remember an angle can make something good seem great.
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EDDIE GILBERT CAREER PROFILE PART TWO - by Martin Walton
Real Name = Thomas Edward Gilbert Jr.
Legitimate Height = 5'9".
Legitimate Weight = 195lbs.
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In 1988, TV station owner Dave Woods offered Eddie the job as both head booker and top heel for the Continental Wrestling promotion in Alabama which he had just purchased from Bob Armstrong. Eddie took the job and immediately made sweeping changes to the struggling territory. He firstly brought in his wife, Missy Hyatt, as a TV announcer, split up the long-standing team of The Nightmares (Ken Wayne and Danny Davis), and brought in young upstart manager Paul E. Dangerously (Paul Heyman). These changes paid dividends as the territory picked up quickly and started producing some of the best wrestling TV programming in the country. However, things weren’t going so smoothly behind the scenes as Eddie continually argued with owner Dave Woods over money and his right to work dates outside of the promotion. In a start of somewhat of a trend, he picked up his bags and left the promotion high and dry without giving any notice. The promotion would soon dry up, going back to its pre-Gilbert days and eventually collapse in 1991. By this point, Eddie was dabbling in painkillers in order to ease the pain in his neck which was really starting to give him problems.
In the NWA in 1989, Gilbert was given the very prominent role as assistant booker to Dusty Rhodes. He also worked as a face for the first time since 1984 during his short stay with the NWA. The highlight of his NWA career was capturing the US Tag Titles with Rick Steiner, and at one point he was set to become a member of the Four Horseman. However, Gilbert developed some heat with Ric Flair and left the promotion instead of working things out. Eddie spent the rest of 1989 floating around making appearances back in Memphis and even back in WCW. Gilbert seemed to always leave a promotion the moment something didn’t go his way which resulted him developing a reputation of being an unreliable hot head. Many people blamed this on his escalating use of drugs, mainly painkillers, and the fact that he had recently divorced Missy Hyatt. He eventually went back to Memphis in 1990, and accepted the role of top heel and assistant booker. Gilbert resurrected his feud with Jerry Lawler, which included one of the most dangerous angles of all time. In September of 1990, Eddie brainstormed a crazy angle of him running Lawler down with a car in the parking lot of the Memphis TV studios. After discussing it with Lawler they both agreed that the angle was indeed possible.
The angle started with Eddie being fired by on screen promoter Eddie Marlin, which resulted in security and Jerry Lawler escorting Eddie out of the building and to his car. Eddie got into his car and started to drive away, but swerved around and hit Lawler at full force (much harder than they had worked out) which resulted in Lawler being thrown onto the windscreen and violently thrown onto the concrete (Lawler would suffer legit hip and back problems). The scene was so realistic, a handful of TV viewers called the local police to report an attempted homicide! Thinking he had seriously injured his boy hood idol, Gilbert stopped at the first phone to enquire about Lawler's condition only to find out that police were waiting at the TV studios in order to arrest him. Also during this time, Eddie ventured up to Philadelphia to work monthly shows for hardcore Indy promotion TWA. It was during his appearances in Philly that he competed in the best matches of his career with an upcoming wrestler named Cactus Jack, aka. Mick Foley. Gilbert and Foley clicked in their matches and firstly tore the house down in a falls count anywhere match. The pair then upped the ante in a barbaric barbed wire match and finally had a blow off match in a specially stipulated one-night, three match series that involved a falls count anywhere match, a stretcher match and the inclinusive cage match which went to a no contest when Doug Gilbert and Bam Bam Bigelow injected themselves into the match.
By 1991, Eddie had left Memphis once again and accepted a job as head booker for the Global Wrestling Federation, which was based in Dallas, Texas. Eddie soon brought in his brother Doug as the Dark Patriot and placed him in a feud with top face, The Patriot, and gave young rookie The Handsome Stranger (Buff Bagwell) his first ever push. Much like his previous jobs, Eddie fell out with Global owner Grey Pierson and walked out on the promotion while still being recognised as North American Champion. Also during 1991, Eddie married Madusa, but the couple only lasted a few months together. Eddie and his brother Doug soon left the States and appeared for hardcore Japanese promotion W*ING under masks as Michael Myers and Freddie Krueger respectively. The brothers relationship with W*ING promoter Mickey Ibaragi turned sour when they pulled a shoot in a promo during an event, claiming that W*ING only put Americans under horror film inspired masks in order to sell more merchandise. They were immediately fired and returned home to the States.
In 1993, with his reputation now shot, Gilbert accepted a job as head booker for tiny Indy group, Eastern Championship Wrestling, (now Extreme Championship Wrestling) which was running shows in Sports Bars in Philly and Delaware. He soon gained the group a reputation by turning the promotion into the premier hardcore group in the States by booking such hardcore legends as Terry Funk, Abdullah the Butcher and Kevin Sullivan on various shows. Of course, much like every other booking job he had, Gilbert fell out with the then owner, Tod Gordon, and left the promotion after cutting a shoot interview during his final show with the group. By now, Eddie had rightfully developed a reputation for being unable to work with and was effectively black listed by every promotion in the States and Japan apart from his home promotion in Memphis (by this time known as the USWA). Eddie returned to his old stomping ground in 1994 and yet again restarted his feud with Jerry Lawler, this time bringing in his brother Doug Gilbert which resulted in a number of Eddie/Doug Gilbert VS Jerry Lawler/Brian Christopher matches which helped pick up attendances in regular USWA cities like Nashville, Louisville and Evansville. By this time, Eddie had developed a paranoia gimmick where his goal in life was to knock Lawler off his spot as the top man in Memphis. Some say this was a little too close to reality. Despite his work generally being top class and producing some of his best in ring work since his Foley matches, the general feeling was that it was only a matter of time before Eddie would blow up again and leave the promotion. Soon enough, the inevitable happened as in the fall of 1994, local wrestler Troy Graham was pushed as top heel above Gilbert which resulted in him quitting the USWA and announcing his retirement. This retirement didn’t last long as he returned to Memphis following a disastrous run at running for office in Memphis. Soon after Eddie's re-appearance, Jerry Lawler announced that he would be spending more time with the WWF, which opened up a spot as head booker for the organisation which Gilbert naturally thought was destined to be his, but to the surprise of everybody, Lawler picked office worker Randy Hales to be head booker. This decision disgusted Gilbert and he walked out on the Memphis promotion for the second time in 5 months. At this point, Eddie was very dependent on painkillers to ease the pain in his neck and lower back which was due to his car crash back in 1983.
Eddie found work again, by travelling to Puerto Rico at the request of his close friend Dutch Mantell, for the WWC. He had a good run with the group in late 1994 and early 1995, including headlining a major show in Bayamon, which he lost to Jesus Castillo in front of almost 20,000 fans. For a change, Gilbert departed on good terms with the group in 1995 and looked for work in the States once again. By now, Eddie’s reputation was completely shot and nobody, not even the Memphis promotion would give him a another chance. After weeks of phone calls and begging, Smokey Mountain Wrestling promoter, Jim Cornette, offered Eddie a job as a manager of The Unabomb (now Kane). Not surprisingly, Gilbert walked out on the promotion after only one appearance to return to Puerto Rico where he was offered the temporary job of head booker. After re-settling in, he rented an apartment in Isla Verde and brought in long time friend Ken Wayne in as assistant booker for the WWC. Eddie immediately began to make plans for his future, firstly contacting Ric Flair to make up with him after several years of frosty relations. A deal was set, and Eddie was all set to go to WCW after he finished his short spell as booker for WWC. However, he never got the chance to go back to WCW.
On 18th February 1995, Eddie Gilbert was found dead in his apartment by his long time friend Ken Wayne. Apparently, he had suffered a heart attack during his sleep due to heart problems stemming from his car crash in 1983. Eddie was shipped back to Tennessee and buried in his hometown of Lexington, Tennessee.
From a very young age, Eddie Gilbert knew what he wanted to be. He grew up wanting to be like his heroes Jerry Lawler, Jackie Fargo and Tojo Yamamoto and he was willing to devote his entire life in order to achieve his dream. In many ways, Eddie was a pioneer as he was the first wrestler to openly associate with the underground sheets and was one of the smaller headliners in the 1980’s. Amongst his fans, Eddie Gilbert will always be remembered for his wild unpredictable interviews, his crimson soaked brawls and that natural aura of being a star that only a few are blessed with. When it’s all said and done, Eddie will simply be known as the one and only “Hot Stuff”.
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T & A (Trivia and Answers!) by Andrew Evans
1. In New Japan, who where the first two people to play Black Tiger?
2. Tiger Chung Lee came from what country?
3. Who was the first ECW WORLD Heavyweight Champion?
4. Who is the only person to hold the ECW World Heavyweight Title for a whole calender year, and what year was it?
5. Bad News Brown (Allen) won an Olympic medal in which sport?
6. Who formed the new Zero-One promotion?
7. What was the final of the year 2000's Super J-Cup?
8. The first WWF Survivor Series took place in what year?
9. Who was the only person to pin Rob Van Dam during his ECW Television Title reign?
10. Kane made his first appearance at what PPV?
ANSWERS ARE GIVEN AT THE END OF THE NEWSLETTER!
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WRESTLING HUMOUR - by Marc Lessard
Hey everybody, yours truly couldn't pull together a piece this week, but I got confirmation to use this parody that I really enjoyed.
Gladiator
by Robert Lamb
It is the year 29 AD and the Roman Empire is the most powerful force in the world. Their armies are virtually unopposed, their cities are marvels of urban planning, and their sports entertainment is the greatest on earth. The people of Rome gather every week to witness the spectacles of athleticism and showmanship in the Coliseum- these great events brought to the people by Emperor Vincidius McMahonius…
(In the Gladiator barracks beneath the Coliseum… The shadowy room is packed with gladiators and the roar of the crowd can be heard filtering down from above. They prepare for their upcoming fight.)
Faarooq: (looking under a pile of equipment) Where the hell is my funny blue helmet? I can't go out there unequipped!
Bradshaw: (sitting on a dusty stool, taping his fists) Just grab another one. It don't matter. Hell, our gimmick is just that we're beer-drinking bad-asses anyway. We don't need all those other bells and whistles.
Godfather: (with a worried look on his face) Yeah! At least you two are tough guys- the crowd loves that! All I've got to get me over with the crowd are the Hos- and I lost three more to tigers last week!
Faarooq: Tigers? That all? Sh--, boy… last week John and me had to fight six German gladiators and a pack of monkeys.
Benoit: Monkeys?
Faarooq: Damn straight, monkeys! And these weren't friendly little chimps in suits and dippers, either! These were wild-eyed, red-butted crazy monkeys!
Rock: He's right- the Rock watched that one. They were even using their crap as a weapon! They'd take it, rear back, and-
Jericho: (interrupting Rock) Oh, will you shut up about that! All you talk about is monkey crap.
Rock: Hey, the Rock saw it! (face turns red) And the Rock does not talk about monkey crap all the time.
Jericho: Oh, you do too.
Rock: Do not!
Jericho: It's like some kind of sick obsession with you. It's always "monkey crap" this and "monkey crap" that… Now if you don't mind, I'd like some quiet time to pray and reflect before we all go out there and get killed or eaten.
Rock: (scoffs) Pray? To that new god of yours? Hell, the Rock sees a new one pop up every week…
Jericho: Hey! Just who the hell do you think you are, anyway? And what's with this speaking in the third person crap?
Godfather: Yeah, Jericho's got a point about there.
Rock: Oh, IT DOESN'T MATTER what Jabronius Maximus over there has to say… The Rock is the people's champion. Out there the MILLIONS and MILLIONS of the Rock's fans are going to cheer him on against everything the emperor throws at him. The Rock even had to fight some big German guy with axes the other day.
Jericho: Oh, big deal. Hell, I got fed to lions twice last week! Do you know what kind of a pain in the ass that is?
Rock: The Rock doesn't give two monkey- (catches himself) um… tails about the little horse and pony acts you fight in!
Benoit: (to Jericho) Being a Christian and a gladiator? You're sort'a asking for it, Chris.
Jericho: I know! It's so unfair. Will the persecution ever end?
Malenko: (strapping on some sandals) Ah, you guys will get used to it after a couple of thousand years…
Benoit: (to Jericho) Besides, you get to retire from being a gladiator if you live long enough. They give you one of those wooden swords and a nice beach condo… Just look at Mick Foley.
Jericho: Yeah, just look at him! He doesn't have any frig'n legs anymore, Chris! He got them eaten off on his last day- his last day!
Bradshaw: (shakes head) Yep, yep… Damn shame that they had to hold his retirement ceremony on crocodile day.
Jericho: Man, this job sucks!
Bradshaw: (to Jericho) Don't be so negative! Might I remind you that you do get to go out and kill things with spears each week. I mean, that's gotta count for something.
Jericho: Look, to Hell with it. (puts face in hands) Just give me a few quiet moments before the fight.
Rock: Chris, you're a bit irritable today.
Jericho: Well, let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
Faarooq: (searches through the weapons rack, holds up two weapons and turns to Bradshaw) What do you think? Pool Cue or a broken beer bottle? Which should I take out there with me?
Bradshaw: Hmmm. I say go with the pool cue- but make sure you're pack'n a switchblade too.
Faarooq: Oh, you know it. What you taking out there?
Bradshaw: (in a serious tone) Well, I'm leaning towards taking out a studded leather belt and a bottle of Michelob.
Malenko: Oh, so that you can break the bottle over one guy's head and then stab another?
Bradshaw: Nah, I just thought I'd have a drink. Grab me a cold one out of the cooler, Dean.
Malenko: (opening the cooler) Sure thing.
Bradshaw: (looking over at the solemn faces of Jericho and Godfather) Come on guys- free beer! How can you bitch about that? We're living in the greatest empire the world has ever known- the most powerful nation on-
Malenko: (Looking up from cooler) All that's in here is Zima.
Bradshaw: (falling to his knees in tears) DAMN YOU, CAESAR! ARE WE NOT MEN?!? DAMN YOU!!!!
Faarooq: (patting Bradshaw on the back) It's ok, man. It'll be ok.
Bradshaw: (sobbing) Damn candy-ass liquor….
Rock: The Rock asks this: whom are we fighting today?
Malenko: I hear it's a bunch of barbarians possessing crude weapons and next to no skills…
Benoit: You mean ECW?
Malenko: The same. I think they'll be using the Retiarius weapons of the net and trident.
Rock: Well, they can come with their nets and tridents… but you know what the Rock is gonna do? He's gonna take those tridents of theirs… shine those sum'bitches up real nice… and shove 'em up their CANDY ASSES!
Benoit: (grimaces) Um… we all would rather you didn't, Rock. I mean; those trident things are forked with barbed points… That's gonna be kind'a messy.
Godfather: (shivers) Yeah, that's some sick sh--, Rock. Bear in mind we all have to watch you when you do that stuff. I mean, wouldn't it be far easier just to stab them to death instead of shoving weapons up their rectums?
Bradshaw: Wrecked-'em? Hell, damn near killed him! (laughs)
(Everyone in the room turns and stares at Bradshaw without a word)
Bradshaw: (stops laughing) Sorry. (Looks down at the floor)
Rock: Look, the crowd loves the "shoving-things-up-the-ass" bit. You heard the gladiator-trainer: the crowd loves creativity.
(A centurion enters)
Centurion: Ok guys. Five minutes and we're on. Here's the order: Benoit, Malenko, Godfather, Bradshaw, Jericho-
Jericho: (interrupting) That's Y-zero-J, if you don't mind- be sure that's mentioned by the announcers.
Centurion: (making a note on his clay tablet) Alrighty…
Rock: (to Jericho) Jabroni, don't you think you've played this Y0J thing out long enough?
Malenko: Yeah, it's 29 AD, Chris. The Y0K scare is SO over. The world didn't end and everyone's gotten used to counting the years forward instead of backwards.
Jericho: Hey! My gimmick is solid! At least I'm not like Val Venis… I swear, if Val made one more "hero will rise" joke, I would have killed him myself.
Benoit: What are you talking about? You did kill him yourself. Remember? Last weekend's big show?
Jericho: Oh yeah…
Centurion: Alright, guys. Time to head on up.
Godfather: Three Ho's? I got'a go out there with three ho's? That ain't enough to get me over with the crowd!
Twenty minutes later…
(In the center of the Coliseum, surrounded by bloodied corpses and a roaring crowd, the survivors stand bruised and battered.)
Bradshaw: (spitting out a tooth) Well, that was fun.
Faarooq: (spitting out an ear) Not bad.
Jericho: (gasping for breath) Not bad? That was amazing! I've never seen a guy beat up a tiger with a pool cue before!
Bradshaw: Well, you didn't hit the town last night with us, did ya?
Godfather: (staggering) Damn! I can't believe I lost all three Ho's during the first five minutes! I ain't got any crowd heat at all without 'em!
Rock: (with a slight cut above his eyebrow) Calm down.
Godfather: (with fear in his eyes) Man, easy for you to say! They love you- I just know I'll get the thumbs down from the Emperor without a whole bunch of fine-ass hookers surrounding me!
Jericho: (turning to Rock) Rock, what's that cut on your forehead?
Rock: The Rock… um… got cut fighting.
Jericho: You bladed!
Rock: Did not!
Jericho: Benoit is getting swarmed by barbarians, Dean is getting eaten by a damn hippo, and all you do is talk to the crowd and cut your own forehead!?!
Rock: Hey, the Rock also shoved a battle-ax up someone's ass!
(The crowd suddenly goes silent. Above, in the imperial seating area, Emperor Vincidius steps forward to speak to his people)
Emperor Vincidius: (dressed in brilliantly decorated toga) People of Rome, I give you-
Shane: (from behind) Um, Dad…
Emperor Vincidius: (irritably) Shane, for the last time, you can not marry your sister!
Shane: It's not that, Dad. I was wondering when I get to-
Foley: (peaking over the side from his seat) Man, that's quite a drop there. You know, I bet I could fall off here and land on some live bears or something- maybe a few tables on top of that and-
Emperor Vincidius: No! You're retired, Mick…. And for Jupiter's sake, your damn legs were eaten off by crocodiles months ago!
Foley: (looks down at his stumps) Oh yeah… Boy, that was a close one!
Vincidius: (turning back to address the people) As I was saying… These gladiators have fought hard for you, Romans! Let us find out their names!
Bradshaw: (steps forward) I'm Spartacus!
Faarooq: (nudges Bradshaw) Wrong movie, stupid.
Bradshaw: (steps back into line) Oh…
Emperor Vincidius: (with a confused look on his face) Um… Anyway, here are your Gladiators! Faarooq, Bradshaw, Jericho, Godfather, and- ah, it doesn't matter what the other one's name is.
Rock: Hey! I didn't really mean that last time!
Emperor Vincidius: (with a sardonic grin) Well, Well, Rock…. You DARE to defy your emperor? I should probably do something brave and stupid like fight you man to man down there!
(Crowd goes wild)
Emperor Vincidious: I am very impressed with you gladiators… (notices the Godfather) except for you. What are you doing here?
Godfather: (hysterically) I can get more Ho's! I swear! The People love the Ho's- especially the kids. The Kids love the Ho's, Caesar!
Emperor Vincidious: Godfather, you disappoint me! You're lazy, talentless, and have no charisma whatsoever. The crowd only liked you for your bevy of big-breasted hookers and you've only survived the events by running faster than your ho's when the Tigers were released! What have you to say for yourself?
Godfather: (falling on his knees to plead for the crowd's support) I admit it! I'm lazy, I don't try that hard, and I've only gotten by so far by slipping tiger-chow into the Ho's purses while they weren't looking! But have mercy on me! Please!!! Um… (glances at Jericho) Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!
(a rock zings in from the stands and thumps the Godfather right on the temple)
Godfather: AHHHHH!!!
(The Godfather looks up to see a man standing up in the crowd dressed in white with long hair and a beard.)
Godfather: (holding the side of his head) Hey! F--- you, Jesus! That was a cheap shot!
Faarooq: Jesus!
Bradshaw: (looking at the Godfather) Dude, you're right! That rock really nailed him!
Faarooq: No, I mean in the stands, stupid!
(A small "Jesus" chant starts up in the stands)
Rock: (turns to Jericho) Well, there's your savior- he's got charisma, the Rock will give him that. Of course, he's no Great One… (poses for the crowd)
Jericho: (sighs)
Godfather: (rubbing his sore temple) Damn it! I thought Jesus was dead!
Jericho: So's the Undertaker, but that isn't stopping him, is it?
Emperor Vincidious: (turning to Shane) Get this Jesus guy under contract, quick.
Permission granted by the good folks at www.scoopthis.com
Visit their site for other great parodies.
WARNING: THIS IS PURELY HUMOROUS, MEANING, A WORK OF FICTION.
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TRIVIA ANSWERS by Andrew Evans
1. Mark "Rollerball" Rocco, Eddie Guerrero. 2. Korea. 3. Shane Douglas. 4. Shane Douglas, 1998. 5. Judo. 6. Shinya Hashimoto. 7. CIMA v Jushin Liger. 8. 1987. 9. D-Von Dudley - to win the ECW Tag Team Titles in a singles match. 10. Badd Blood - In Your House 18.
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