Suffered Enough...
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Bittersweet Condemnation
Summary: Tsuki's view on her life before graduation. Problems riveting through her life, with a past that's hard to leave behind and arriving new ones before grad. Things from friends left unsaid makes her future even worse. ~*~*~*~ Tsuki's POV ~*~*~*~ No light through came underneath the doors. Meaning everyone's asleep. Everything is dark. Except for the stream of light coming from the moon. I can't sleep. Removing the covers, I walk to the window and searched the sky. It was cloudless. Stars twinkled and the moon shone brightly. I wonder how the moon survives alone, surrounded by a field of stars. I sit down at my desk facing the window and still staring at the moon. Nobody to talk to. Nobody understood. Nobody I would wish to talk to. Nobody. I had tried to talk about my paranoia, but all I get was laughter at my face and behind my back. So there's no point. This has disturbed me a hell of a long time. Mind fucked up with useless shit. I hate everything. I wish all these stupid problems would come to an end. Everything's messed. "You're annoying...Stop being so stupid…. Answer me...when are you going to grow up!...This is the way people hate you! Change! " Stop this stop that...People telling me I should change. You don't think I've tried? I'm trying to. I'm just too tired to do more. I guess I should put on a façade. I'm human I make mistakes. I know the ways I've upset people mostly my fault I guess. Leaning on the edge now. Schools nothing, but piece of crap. You'll learn something in there. Of course! It's school. Go figure. Stupid grade 6 teacher is the same one for grade 8. Hooray! My ass. I fucking hate that bitch. She doesn't teach. She crams everything to the last fucking minute. "I'll try to be more organized." She says. Yeah? Well when would that happen?! Oh...and about course selection sheets for high school... "Which school are you going to?" Classmates ask each other. "Catholic High school...The one in the region...The high school that most of us are going to..." Students answer. "I'm going to an a public school." I say. Same with other friends of mine who then changed their minds. Stupid bitch started bull shitting at me. INDIRECTLY. You think I don't know what you're applying? I should go to the Catholic School because it's better??? What are you talking about? It's my life...I want a career in music. Got a problem? That new school that I'm supposed to be in doesn't have that programme! Why don't you go and b.s. at the other students that also are thinking to go to the public school? What? You think I'm musical enough to get in? You think I'm making a mistake? Well guess what? I may be damn right making one following your advice too. I'll still get an education at least. Aw...Stupid shitty life...So much crap. Learn it yourself now. Sigh......Tomorrow another day of torture...Another day to see my friend's pain. Her parents are not working out. She's crying. I want to help her. How can I with all these other problems in mine? Her crush can be an asshole. It's very awkward because his mood changes. Bad boy type. Known him for a few years. Changes? Meh...I don't know. Same old Andrew. I see. The odd thing is I feel his eyes on me. When I turn around to see who it is. It's him. I'm supposed to be trying to help my friend. Not make it worse...Stop caring for myself for now...Not the right time...And seeing that if that guy she's crushing on likes me, would be bad...Very bad...I don't want her to be even more depressed...Andrew knows she likes him...I'm not even sure he likes her back...He seems to...Hopefully... I don't really like him do I? Strange...I've known him for years. Just brush it off for now...I don't...I don't want to interfere my friend's life that is more important...I won't say I hate him...Nor like him...I'll just remain oblivious to his gaze. Graduations approaching...I want her to at least have one dance or at least a few with Andrew. I don't care...I'm not even looking forward for it...The graduation falls on the day of my music exam...How fucked can life get? One thing I'm not looking forward for is the dance. I don't know what will happen. She's going to go live in another place. Hopefully Andrew would show a sign of appreciation to her before she does leave... I'm kind of getting fucking tired of this...Still gazes...Annoy the hell out of me. Tell me why you stare...tell me why...Tell me you like my friend not me...I will be at rest...If you're staring at me to tell her you like her, come and talk to me...I'll tell her...You're damn right confusing... But...Yours to judge who you like...Time's running out... Done yet?? I kept on droning on with that...I'm screwed...her love life...My complicated problems yet cease to be solved. Thinking on how to help and resolve her problems while putting mine aside...I can't come to a conclusion...Tired...I will go to sleep now...Tired...Wish I would never wake up to see another day...Tired...I wish there were some disease that would lift me away in this life… ~*~*~*~ End of POV ~*~*~*~ R+R!! ~Anonymous REVIEW If you want to contribute, click HERE. |