Disclaimer: Again, not mine. Don't know. Didn't happen.
Sigh of relief, anyone still reading? It's over.
Coffee was starting to become Justin's best friend, he mused, as he poured himself a cup. He needed it with all the time Lance spent out of it, and he wanted to be awake while Lance was out. He needed to, so that when Lance woke up he could reassure both of them that Lance was all right.
Justin sighed and gazed down at the mug in his hand. It was one the one that Lance always used when they went to his house, and for some reason, it always reminded him of Lance. It was actually a funny little Garfield picture, and Garfield was in a robe holding a steaming cup of coffee and he was a total mess and it said, "Don't tell me it's Monday." Lance liked the mug, so Justin liked the mug. Simple.
Justin made a face as he slung back the burning liquid, tears coming to his eyes as he gasped for air. His tongue had gone numb, and his entire throat was on fire. It was dumb and he knew it before he did it, but it helped him stay awake, even if his taste buds hated him for it. He'd calm down in a few minutes, he knew that much from experience.
When the tear stopped filling his eyes, he carried the mug to the bedroom and slowly opened the door, peeking in at the sleeping boy. Lance's face was screwed up in a frown and he was clutching the blankets, which meant that he was having a nightmare. Justin had watched him enough to figure out what Lance's patterns were, and hopefully, if Justin knew him as well as he thought, Lance would cry out softly and less than ten minutes later he'd be awake.
Justin set his mug on the table on his side of the bed, then crawled under the covers and slid to the middle, where Lance was. He reached an arm around Lance, who shuddered but curled into him anyway. He liked to think that even in his nightmares, Lance knew that it was Justin holding him. He was never sure, and he would never ask Lance, so he allowed ignorance to be bliss. At least, in that aspect.
Justin sighed as he rested his chin on the top of Lance's head. He and Lance had left the hallway together and they'd gone back into the studio, where everyone was staring at them. Justin hadn't been able to even try to smile at them. His heart ached too badly to pay any attention to them. He knew that Lance needed time, and he needed to give it to him, but he really didn't want to. He wanted Lance to curl up in his arms and need him. Hell, he was resentful that he finally got Lance and Lance was being abused so Lance was scared. That made him feel guilty, and he instantly berated himself, but he couldn't help the way he felt. He knew that Lance needed him to be strong and take care of him, but damn it, why couldn't the man he loved just be normal? Why did this all have to be so fucking complicated?!
Lance uttered a soft cry and dug his nails into Justin's arm. Justin winced against the pain and tried to detach his arm. Lance got violent when he had nightmares, and Justin had learned it was best to pin his arms down so he couldn't smack Justin. So that was what he did, and a few minutes later, Lance's eyes flew open as he gasped in horror, trembling and shaking and sweating.
Lance's eyes were wild as they settled on Justin's. Justin watched as the look slowly died out of Lance's eyes, replaced with slight panic and then recognition. His body slumped under Justin's, and then he let out a soft breath. "Sorry," Lance whispered. "I don't mean to--"
"I know," Justin soothed immediately, feeling his heart starting to split. He did know. He knew that it wasn't Lance's fault. It was that bastard Parker's fault that Lance was like this. Though Justin knew that, sometimes he still blamed Lance. Lance should have gone straight to the police. He should be there, now, god damn it, turning that fucker in. But no, Lance wanted to try and save a career that wasn't half as important as he was.
Lance let out a long sigh, his body going limp. Justin released his grip on him and pulled away to look into Lance's eyes. "You okay?" Justin asked him worriedly, lightly pushing Lance's sweat-soaked hair back. He knew he should be disgusted by how wet his hand got, but he couldn't be. He loved Lance too much to be disgusted by anything having to do with him.
Lance smiled weakly. "I suppose." His eyes trailed up to the ceiling, and he stared at it. "How long have I been out for?"
Justin glanced at the clock. "About 6 hours."
Lance's eyes closed. "Sometimes it feels like the nights just aren't long enough, you know?" he asked softly. "It feels like I blink at the night is gone and I'm back in the studio, facing Parker again."
Justin nodded understandingly. He knew exactly what Lance was talking about. He always felt like the time they had together was fleeting at best, somehow always slipping through his fingers and disappearing before he could actually hold onto it. "I love you," Justin whispered softly, resting his forehead against Lance's chest, over his heart.
He felt Lance's body stiffen in shock, and then two strong arms were around Justin's back. "I love you, too," Lance assured him quietly. His fingers stroked Justin's back lazily. If Justin was a cat, he'd have purred, he was certain he would have.
After a minute, Justin sighed softly and sat up, rolling off of Lance and urging him to sit up. "C'mon," he instructed, getting up off the bed and going for his dresser for a clean shirt. "Take that off." He opened his drawer and rummaged through it for something light and long sleeved. All he saw were sweaters, and after making a face at them, he turned to the next drawer. Those were long sleeved, but they were tight, and Lance needed something big. One more sigh and one more drawer later, Justin finally found what he was looking for, and pulled out his favorite light blue, long sleeved, cotton shirt with a white stripe across the front and down the sleeves. He pulled it out of the drawer and turned around, immediately dropping the shirt as his jaw fell.
Lance was georgeous.
The moonlight was filtering in through the window, casting a silver shadow across the whole room. Specifically, on Lance. Lance was laying down on the top of the covers, his shirt discarded beside him, his track pants low slung on his hips. He was still wet with sweat, giving him a glistening look, and with his eyes closed and his hands folded over his stomach, he was beautiful. Justin had never seen anyone more beautiful in his entire life. Forget all the guys who thought that Britney Spears were beautiful... They hadn't seen anything. Justin was convinced that even the straightest man could walk into the room, take one look at Lance, and fall in love with him instantly.
Justin was utterly speechless, unable to look away and yet knowing that Lance would want a shirt. Lance was going to open his eyes any second and catch Justin staring, but really, was that such a bad thing? Lance knew how Justin felt about him. Justin couldn't really be blamed, could he?
As he continued to stare at Lance, Lance's bruises came into focus. At first they had seemed like shadows across his body, but with a knot in his stomach, Justin realized that those weren't shadows. They were actually where Parker had beat Lance up. Beautiful, perfect Lance. It brought tears to his eyes, and he knelt down, retrieving the shirt, and crawled back onto the bed, beside Lance. Lance's eyes opened at the weight, and Justin settled himself beside him, gazing down into Lance's green eyes, which were glowing. Lance offered him a weak, timid, reassuring smile. Justin's jaw clenched. That was his smile. Lance gave it to him, and god damn it, he wanted it.
He leaned down and pressed his lips against Lance's, taking that smile with him.
Lance moaned softly, already opening his mouth to the kiss. The sound vibrated through out Justin's body, sending tingles down his stomach and his heart into his throat. He lightly cupped Lance's cheek, wanting to lose himself in Lance. And when Lance's arms came around his body, pulling them together, Justin moaned. He ran his fingers through Lance's hair, trying to feel all of him without touching him. He couldn't, he vaguely recalled, because Lance was hurt. But Jesus, Lance's arms around him was the most wonderful thing that he'd ever felt before in his entire life.
Justin whimpered when Lance pulled away, not understanding why he'd want to break their perfect little existance, until Lance shivered and reached for the shirt beside Justin. Justin immediately sat up, flushing with embarassment, and quickly helped Lance with it. As Justin's hands were resettling the shirt around Lance's waist, Lance's arms came out and grabbed him again, pulling him in for another kiss.
Justin grunted, wanting to pull Lance to him, but he couldn't without hurting him, so he had to content himself with running his hands through Lance's hair and squeezing his arms and hands and any other place he could. He felt Lance laugh slightly as Justin kissed at his neck, and reluctantly he pulled away to find out what Lance thought was so funny.
"Don't you think it's a little odd," Lance began slowly, a smile playing across his lips. "That you and I are here in bed together, when last month we were throwing things at each other?"
Justin cringed at the memory. "Yeah," he said sheepishly. "Sorry about the whole 'sock' thing." Lance hadn't really deserved it. He'd said something to piss Justin off, and Justin threw the only thing near his head at Lance. It just turned out to be a pair of Joey's socks. Lance had thrown a pillow back, Justin had thrown a magazine, and soon they were throwing everything they could at each other. It had ended when JC got in the middle of it and ended up being smacked in the stomach with a hard back book from Justin, and an empty Coke can by Lance.
Lance smiled. "It was fun," he protested, the small circles he was making on Justin's back maddening on Justin's pleasure scale. "Until you threw that watch and it hit me in the arm. That hurt."
Justin had to defend himself. "You threw a cassette tape at my head!"
Lance snickered. "Yeah. It was fun."
Justin howled in mock-protest, glad that Lance was smiling. He quickly kissed him, a quick, playful kiss. "Yes, it was," he agreed, grinning.
Lance sighed contentedly, tightening his hold on Justin. "But I think this is much better," he continued, his fingers finding their way to Justin's hair. He began playfully tugging on the curls and wrapping his fingers around them. "Anyone ever tell you how warm you are?"
Justin blushed. "Can't say that they have. But I haven't ever... I mean... I haven't exactly had a lot of experience sleeping with people..."
Lance eyes widened in surprise. "Really? You wouldn't know it to listen to Britney."
Justin felt like someone had punched him. His jaw fell and he stared at Lance. "Please tell me you're kidding," he monotoned. Lance frowned slightly, shaking his head. "Jesus. Do you mean that she's out running around telling people that we're sleeping together?"
Lance shrugged slightly, his eyes darkening with... Was that fear? "She's mentioned it a few times."
Justin wanted to break something. Namely his girlfriends' neck. "No," he growled through gritted teeth. "We've slept in the same bed exactly three times. We've had sex once. It was terrible." He shuddered at the memory. "She's a beautiful girl, but damn it she's a slut. I was terrified that I was going to catch something. That was how come I went to the doctor every six months," he explained. "I was scared I caught something, or was going to catch something, but I'm clean. Still, I haven't touched her since." He gazed down into Lance's perfect features and traced over them lightly with his finger. "I don't want her."
Lance's eyes closed, and then slowly reopened, meeting Justin's. Justin's finger trailed over Lance's perfect, pink lips, which he circled a few times before trailing his finger down Lance's throat. He felt, and heard, Lance's breath catch in his throat, and lightly he kissed the hollow of it before trailing his mouth up Lance's throat, kissing his chin, and then seeking out Lance's mouth with his own. Justin could have sworn that they decided not to be together, but here, in the safety and security of the bedroom, it didn't feel like a world outside of them existed. They were together, and they were perfect, and Justin was completely happy in Lance's arms.
The kiss lasted so long that when they finally did break apart, they were both left gasping for air. Lance was in Justin's arms, curled up to him urgently, their limbs intertwined almost desperately.
"I'm sorry about not trusting you."
The soft whisper almost didn't sound like Lance's voice, and for a moment, Justin frowned as he tried to figure out who said it. When it dawned on Justin that it was Lance, he gave a start and looked down at him, but Lance was purposefully staring at the wall.
"Lance, it's okay, man. I understand." Well, he could understand why... "It's okay. I told you. We'll wait until you're ready. All of this is about you."
Lance shuddered. "Don't say that," he begged, his voice low. "That's a lot of pressure."
Justin kissed Lance's forehead lightly. "No pressure," he soothed softly. "Just you and me and one week 'til total bliss." He smiled against Lance's ear, already able to picture it. "We'll get booked in separate hotel rooms, and then when everyone splits for the night I'll sneak over to your room, and I'll pull you into my arms, and we'll fall asleep and refuse to wake up until we absolutely have to. We'll be late for everything because we don't want to get out of bed, and we'll enjoy our lives and each other and take solace in the fact that we're not going to be as high as we are forever, and some day, it's all going to slow down. And then we'll be two crotchety old men taking mindless jabs at each other, but always, and I do mean always," Justin leaned down and lightly kissed Lance's cheek, "I'll love you."
Lance smiled genuinely. "Sounds lovely," he sighed happily, curling up in Justin's arms. He settled himself in the crook of Justin's neck, which seemed to be becoming a favorite spot for Lance. "I can't wait."
Justin smiled tightly. "Neither can I," he whispered softly. "Neither can I."
Lance sat between JC and Chris on the couch in the studio, his eyes narrowed as he watched Parker working with Justin. Justin looked like he was debating punching the choreographer, and Parker looked like he was debating touching Justin to see what he could get away with. Silently Lance pleaded with Parker to not try it. Justin wouldn't hesitate to break Parker's arm, and as it was, Justin looked to be having an internal struggle to keep his cool.
"Lance, man," Chris asked, patting him lightly on the shoulder. "You doing good in there? Justin's not gonna disappear if you look away."
Lance blushed and sheepishly met Chris' eyes, smiling weakly. He turned his attention back to the center of the studio, startled to find that Justin had stopped working and was glaring at Chris. Was it possible that Justin had heard Chris' quiet teasing? From the looks of it, it was. Lance shook his head at Justin, who reluctantly resumed his dancing.
Joey burst through the door a minute later, carrying the cold pops he'd been sent out for. "Coke, Coke, Sprite, Justin, Coke!" Joey called, setting it down on the ground. "Me, Coke, Parker, Sprite." Joey made a face at Chris as he plopped down beside him. "Baby, how do you drink that sparkling water?" Joey asked, arching an eyebrow at the green bottle Chris was putting to his lips.
Chris paused mid drink and turned to look at him, the bottle still in the air. Slowly he lowered it and eyed Joey. "How do you put that nasty brown crap into your body?" he countered. "I swear, Joseph, that one of these days I'm going to kiss you and your teeth are going to be rotted."
Lance smiled slightly. He'd missed hearing Joey and Chris' playful, flirty teasing. They always joked about sex together, but Lance had been so out of it lately that he'd missed it completely. But with only one week to go before they would be on tour and Parker would be out of their lives, Lance was slowly returning to the real world. Even if Parker was being especially brutal because Lance was leaving.
Justin came over, sweaty and breathless, and dropped into Lance's lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he reached out and took Lance's drink, which he was already holding open for Justin. Justin guzzled half of it, then was panting even harder when he finally stopped drinking and grinned at Lance. Lance smiled back happily. He knew Justin knew what he was thinking. Justin was just really good at figuring out what Lance was thinking. It was uncanny almost, sometimes.
"How my people ova here?" Justin panted, kicking his feet up onto Joey and Chris' laps before leaning back over JC and resting against the arm rest. His hand remained possessively on Lance's leg, and Lance knew that the other guys not only took note of the apparently casual but very pointed gesture, but so did Parker.
And Lance didn't care.
Lance made sure that Parker was watching before sliding his hand up onto Justin's leg, resting it on Justin's inner thigh. Parker glared at him and he returned the look evenly before looking back at Justin, who was smirking at Parker and "casually" stroking Lance's leg for Parker to see. Luckily this was a gesture that went unnoticed by the other guys.
"You losin' weight, Curls?" JC asked critically, poking at Justin's stomach. Lance immediately followed JC's gaze and frowned as for the first time he realized JC was right. Justin was losing weight. Badly. God, he must have dropped about ten pounds, maybe more. Lance met Justin's eyes worriedly, but Justin just shrugged.
"Not really," Justin objected. "It's just all this extra work. No biggie."
"Yeah, Skinny," Lance teased, purposefully poking JC in the ribs to get everyone's attention off of Justin. JC couldn't help but laugh, as he always did, and grinned down at Lance. Lance knew that the guys were probably thinking that they were getting their friends back, only better because now Lance and Justin weren't attacking each other, and Lance had to agree. Things were going to be a lot better, now. Lance blew on JC. "Well, you don't float away yet. But I think I saw you wavering."
JC's jaw fell in incredulous disbelief, and he wrapped a playful arm around Lance's shoulders. Lance's hand on Justin's leg squeezed briefly, but he settled into JC's arms after a moment, relaxing and smiling reassuringly at Justin, who looked a little alarmed. Justin returned the smile with dazzling force and relaxed himself. "Me!" JC howled in protest. "You're the one who looks like they're trying to compete with a bean pole!"
"Me?" Lance gasped in mock protest. "JC, your audacity astounds me!"
"As your wit does me," JC teased back. Lance grinned up at him and they grinned at each other, pausing as they heard Joey.
"Blow me."
"Bite me."
"Tonight?"
"You're on."
In unison, Justin, JC, and Lance all turned to look at Joey and Chris, who were calmly drinking away at their bottles. But for some reason, Chris had Joey's Coke, and Joey had Chris' Sprite. Lance tried not to laugh as he slowly looked back to JC and Justin. Justin was grinning at the other two, and when his eyes met Lance's, he winked. Lance shocked himself by blushing, which caused Justin to laugh so hard he actually had to sit up--on Lance's lap--and wipe tears from his eyes.
"What's so funny?" Joey whined for the fifth time. Lance, meanwhile, was patting Justin on the back to try and stop his laughs, make sure he didn't choke, and try to hide any further embarassment.
Justin just laughed helplessly. He actually ended up across all of their laps, curled up on his side, laughing. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and even though no one else knew what was going on, they couldn't help but laugh as well. Justin just had that infectious laugh.
Somewhere, under the cover of Justin's body, Justin's hand found Lance's, and squeezed.
Lance couldn't stop the shy, happy smile from spreading across his lips.
"Well you and Justin are awfully cozy," Parker drawled darkly in Lance's ear as Lance sat on the blankets. He was still fully clothed, a first, and he was nervously waiting for the inevitable punishment for having fun and what he and Justin had done on the couch. Still, it was worth it. He would not give up that moment with the five of them all laughing and having fun again for anything.
Lance didn't answer as he stared straight ahead, allowing his mind to escape to a place far away. He pictured them on tour, and himself alone in the cold, deserted hotel room as he stared at glowing red numbers, waiting for a particular time to come. When the numbers clicked to 11:00 p.m., he would sit up expectantly and wait. Sure enough, a few seconds later, there would be a key in the door and it would be unlocked, and Justin would stand there, smiling at him. And of course Lance would smile back and Justin would crawl into the bed with him and hold him tight. Together they would drift off into a world where only they existed. Their little secret, together, just the two of them. They would be perfect together.
"Get up!" Parker spat. Lance blinked, startled to discover that Parker was shoving off of him and he was naked. He winced as he tried to sit up, horrified to discover that his limbs were not only stiff and painful, but that his back felt like one giant... Exposed wound. Parker glared hatefully at him as he painfully pulled on his clothes, hardly able to move. He nearly cried out when his shirt touched his back. He could feel some stickiness, which meant that Parker had left him bleeding again. He was sure his back was scratched up, and in some places, the knife had gone deeper than normal, which was the reason behind the blood.
Lance gritted his teeth as he redressed, staggering to the door. He was relieved that Justin had grabbed his bag, because that was just one less thing on his back. His sore, painful, bleeding back. He wasn't sure how he was going to make it out to the car, but he knew he needed to get to Justin. Justin would take care of him, as long as he got out there.
He was almost to the door when Parker spun him around and pressed their lips together brutally. He was a terrible kisser, all pressure and tongue, and Lance was so glad when it was over that he almost cried. Out of all the things Parker could do to his body, when he kissed Lance, it was the worst.
Lance hurried out of the studio, hardly managing to make his way along the hallways to the parking lot. He was never sure how he managed to make it out there to Justin night after night, but he did it somehow, and tonight was no different. Justin was out there, pacing nervously back and forth in front of the car. When he caught sight of Lance pushing through the doors, he hurried forward.
"Oh god," Justin breathed softly. "Lance?"
Lance closed his eyes and let out a breath of pained air. "Let's go home," he managed to get out, then clutched tightly to the arm Justin offered.
"Okay," Justin agreed quickly. Lance could tell that Justin wanted to put his arm around him, but didn't want to hurt Lance, so Justin just held his arm tightly and supported him to the car. He helped Lance in, and when Justin himself was inside the car, Lance locked the door several times, double and triple checking. Justin glanced at him but said nothing, just sped out of the parking lot as he always did.
"You're bleeding," Justin commented, sounding scared. "How bad is it?"
Lance shook his head. "I don't know." He was resting his chin on his knees, closing his eyes and trying to picture himself and Justin in a hotel room far far away, where Lance had no wounds anyplace.
Justin pulled up to a stop light, and Lance sat up, glanced at the light, looked over at Justin, and kissed him. Hard. The memories of Parker's disgusting kiss were wiped out completely of Lance's mind as Justin kissed him back almost desperately. Lance wasn't sure how long it lasted, but when they finally broke apart, the light was red again. They were both panting, and Justin was looking a little bewildered. His hand tightly held Lance's, which Lance claimed as his own as he hugged it to his chest.
When they reached Justin's house, Lance carefully climbed out, taking his time. He couldn't rush. It hurt too badly when he rushed. Justin stood by his side the whole time, holding him up by the arm, the only place Lance wasn't too sore for Justin to touch and help him at the same time. Lance stood on the doorstep waiting for Justin to open the door when he paused and studied the house thoughtfully.
"I think I should move some of my stuff in here," Lance mused quietly, more to himself than Justin. He'd been thinking about it for quite some time. He was tired of borrowing all of Justin's clothes, and he was sure that Justin couldn't be too thrilled about it, either. He missed all of his stuff. His real stuff.
Justin dropped his keys and then haistly picked them up again, his eyes wide. "Really?" he asked hopefully. "I-I mean, I'd really like it. If you did that. I mean."
Lance smiled at him. Justin was so cute flustered. He grunted in pain as he tried to take the step up from the porch to the house, and Justin was there again, helping him. He leaned against the railing and then slowly crawled up the stairs on his hands and knees while Justin relocked the door. He knew that he looked pathetic, but he could not handle stairs on his rubbery legs. He was sore enough as it was. He didn't need to hurt any more than he already did. Falling down the stairs would not be fun.
"Let me look at your back," Justin instructed gently as Lance crawled into the bathroom. Lance dragged himself up onto the toilet seat and slumped there with his head on his knees again, his hands dragging listlessly on the ground. "Can you get your shirt off, babe?"
Lance could do anything if Justin called him endearing terms like that. He slowly sat up while Justin reached for the first aid kit. Justin had gone out and replenished the supply while he'd gone out the other day. He was gone no longer than an hour, because he claimed that he didn't want Lance to be left alone for too long, and Lance hadn't wanted to go. Lance thought it was sweet.
When his shirt was off and he was slumped on his legs again, exhausted from the exertion, he heard Justin hiss. "He really did it this time, didn't he?" Justin asked softly, his voice low and pained. Lance was vaguely aware of Justin kneeling beside him. "Lance?"
"Yeah?" Lance asked tiredly, turning his face to look at Justin.
"Can you skip the shower tonight? You're back--"
"No!" Lance exclaimed, sitting up so quickly he got nausious and clutched onto Justin's arm, which was already out to help him. He couldn't skip his shower. He had to shower. He was dirty. Parker made him dirty. Parker made him disgusting. He had to get it off. He had to. It never came off completely but it helped. And Justin helped. But he couldn't live without his shower.
"Okay," Justin soothed softly, lightly caressing his cheek. "Then take a bath tonight, okay? And only fill it up to your waist. Your back..." He paled and shuddered, squeezing Lance's hands. "It's bad, Lance. There's some cuts in there that I..." he trailed off and a moment later he kissed Lance fiercely. Lance immediately wrapped his arms around Justin's neck tightly, pulling him close. Lance loved Justin. He loved everything about Justin, from the way he kissed to the way he tasted to the way that he knew all the right things to say. Justin pulled away after a few minutes, his eyes closed. When he reopened them, they were full of tears. "Lance, I need to take you to the hospital. I can't treat those. They're too bad. I don't know what the fuck Parker was thinking, but I can't do anything about those."
Lance profusely shook his head. "No, Justin. I can't. No. I'm okay. I just need a shower and sleep."
"Lance, please," Justin begged, his voice cracking. "I'm scared, Lance. I'm terrified. I've never been this scared before in my entire life. I can't help you. I don't even know where to begin. I love you! I don't want you to get hurt in any way. But these cuts... They're too deep. I can't help them."
Lance shook his head again. "Forget the shower," he mumbled, suddenly so exhausted he knew he was going to pass out. "Take me to bed."
"I can't," Justin sobbed. "I can't even pick you up. I'll hurt you."
Watching the man he loved reduced to tears made Lance strong, and he stood shakily, somehow pulling Justin up with him. "I love you," Lance whispered against his lips, then sealed it with a kiss.
Justin didn't stop crying for hours.
"We need to talk." Justin yanked Parker up by his arm from where he sat talking to Chris on the couch. Lance gaped in horror at Justin, who ignored him and dragged Parker out into the hallway. When Lance tried to follow, Justin shot him a whithering glare that not even Lance was willing to mess with. Justin dismissed the body guards, who just stared at him until he threatened their jobs and their lives, and then warily they backed off enough that they could have some semblance of privacy.
"What?" Parker asked, his tone cold.
"Leave him alone," Justin ordered. He'd been thinking about this all night, and while he was terrified, he knew this had to be done. For Lance's sake. "Leave him alone, and I'll give you me in return."
Parker's eyes widened, then he smiled.
"What? No!" Lance's eyes were wide and stricken with horror as Parker dismissed Lance. Justin was still in the studio, and he knew that Lance would know what was going on immediately. He was right. "Justin!" Lance howled, in a voice that actually made Justin tremble. "Justin, no!" But Parker was pushing Lance out the door and locking it, bolting it behind Lance. "Justin!" Lance begged wildly, pounding on the door. "Justin, no! No no no no no! Justin! Justin, don't do this! Justin, please! Please, Justin!"
Justin stiffened, tears filling his eyes at the raw terror and pain in Lance's voice. Parker was spreading those god damn blankets again, and Justin was scared, but he knew it had to be done. He would sacrifice anything for Lance, including himself.
"Justin, no!" Lance screamed, pounding on the door. "Parker, I swear to god, I will call the fucking media myself if you lay a god damn hand on him, and I don't care who the fuck sees those pictures!"
Justin and Parker both froze.
"Don't believe me?" Lance shouted. "Fine! Let's see how you like it when the media finds out about this! Son of Jive ceo fucks boy band members, big ass lawsuits follow!" There were beeping sounds, and Justin and Parker were both running for the door, throwing it open. Parker snatched the phone away from Lance, threw it against the ground, and smacked him across the cheek.
"Fucking son of a bitch!" Justin screamed, grabbing Parker and smacking him. Parker lifted his hand to smack Justin back, but it was caught by a very furious, very dangerous pale hand.
"You fucking lay your finger on him and I swear to god I will make you regret it."
Justin and Parker both looked at Lance, who had never looked more dangerous in his life.
"Call my bluff," Lance growled darkly. "I dare you, Parker." He took a step towards him. "But don't you dare touch Justin."
Parker glared between the two of them. "Well, boys, we have a problem here. What are we going to do about it?"
Lance pointed to the studio. "I've already agreed to be your fuck doll," he snapped. "Justin never entered into the equation."
"He's not touching you again," Justin objected, grabbing Lance's arm. Lance turned angry, mistrustful eyes on him. "You can't handle it, Lance. Your body physically cannot handle it. You are going to fucking die." Justin turned livid, dark eyes on Parker. "And don't think I won't call the police."
Parker sneered at Justin. "Please. He's not going to die. Scar, absolutely. Die? Not hardly."
Justin clenched his fists to keep from punching him. "You have no fucking clue," he spat. "You're a rapist, not a doctor."
"I'm going to be nice," Parker suddenly decided conversationally, looking thoughtful. "I'll stop fucking you until you guys leave," he told Lance. "If you two fuck for me again. That was fun."
"Fuck you!" Justin spat, the idea of raping Lance again making his stomach churn. There was no way. No possible way that he could even--
"Promise?" Lance asked.
Justin's jaw dropped and he stared in horror at Lance. "You can't be serious!" he hissed. "I am not raping you--"
"We went over this," Lance reminded quietly, then slowly looked up at him. "And it won't be like last time." He smirked at Parker. "It'll be like making a porno movie, and Parker is the director."
Parker grinned. "I like that."
"Bet you do," Lance agreed. "Especially since I know there's a camera in there someplace. You knew exactly what I was going to do, and you knew exactly what we were going to do." Lance smiled sweetly. "So we're going into another room."
Parker's face fell.
Lance nodded, while Justin simply gaped at him. "You promised, Parker. You never specified where."
Parker glared at him.
"Parker?" Lance prompted. "You promised."
Parker glared darkly at him. "I promised. You're right."
Lance smiled. "Good. This way, then." He took Justin's hand between his and held it tightly, showing just how scared he was, as he led the way to an office. "No camera's in here," Lance announced, pushing the office open. Justin frowned in confusion while Parker gasped in horror. There was actually a couch in this room, along with a kitchen and a large desk and... It looked like someone's apartment! Where were they? "Parker, you recognize your father's office, of course," Lance assured him conversationally, his hand still tight on Justin's. Justin had never admired anyone more in his entire life, and when he got Lance home, he was going to lavish Lance's body with kisses and love him until the sun exploded.
Parker glared at him.
"Great. So, here works?" Lance asked Parker innocently.
"Get the fuck out," Parker ordered coldly. "You win, Bass. But only the battle, not the war."
Lance smiled sweetly. "Thanks, Parker." He turned and strode calmly out of the office, sagging as soon as the door was shut. Justin held his hand as tightly as he could, until they were out in the parking lot. Then Lance pulled away, looked at Justin, and a second later, there was a stinging against Justin's cheek. Justin gasped and stepped back, holding his hand to his burning cheek as he tried to blink the stars and tears of pain away.
"What the hell was that for?" Justin asked in disbelief, staring at his best friend in hurt confusion. Lance had slapped him. Lance had slapped him!
"What the fuck were you trying to do?" Lance hissed at him. "Do you even know what you almost got yourself into, Justin? No, of course you don't! You have no concept of what it's like to wish you were dead, to wish that you were anyplace besides where you are. You don't know what it's like to feel like someone is splitting your body in fucking half! You don't know what it's like to feel your flesh being cut open and exposed and have every little touch make you throb for hours! You have no clue what it's like to feel unpure, and unclean, and disgusting and revolting and used and pathetic. What the fuck were you trying to do? And don't you dare fucking say save me, because I need you to stay clean for me more than I need you to take my blows." Angry tears were flowing down his face by this time, and Justin was backed against the car. "I hate what you did tonight," Lance told him furiously, choking on his tears. "I hate that you would dare even think about sacrificing yourself for me, when what I need most is you to be able to hold me at night. Two fucked up people aren't better than one, Justin." His expression crumbled. "I love you. I don't ever want to think of you hurting. I want you to be there to help me when I need you. Because I do need you to take care of me, Justin. I am useless now. You have no clue what that's like, and I don't want you to!" He collappsed against Justin, clutching Justin's shirt. "I love you," he whispered almost pleadingly. "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you." He continued to whisper it, again and again and again, until Justin was able to gather some form of consciousness and get Lance into the car and them out of there.
The whole ride home they were silent. Justin clutched Lance's hand furiously, and when they reached the house and the doors were locked and they were both inside, he attacked Lance with a vengance, kissing him brutally. They somehow staggered up the stairs, and while in the back of his mind Justin knew he had to be careful because of Lance's back, his mind had pretty much lost all control. He just wanted Lance. He wanted every part of Lance. But he knew that it couldn't go too far. Lance couldn't handle it.
"Justin, don't," Lance breathed, when Justin started to pull away, to slow things down. "No," Lance whimpered, clutching him tightly. "Love me. Please, Justin. You promised that you would show me what it was supposed to be like. Show me."
"I don't want to hurt you," Justin objected, feeling his heart being torn in two.
"You won't," Lance promised softly.
"I can't promise that," Justin protested, all the while wanting nothing more than to feel every part of Lance.
"I can," Lance whispered. "I love you. Love doesn't hurt."
Justin let out a strangled sob. "I love you," he swore softly, claiming Lance's mouth as his own.
They became lost in a tangle of limbs and blankets and sheets and whispered "I love you's."
"Are you okay?" Justin asked Lance softly, his voice just a mere breath as he held himself propped up on his elbows on either side of Lance.
Lance kissed him softly, somehow finding the strength to nod as he arched his body in rhythm to Justin's. "Yeah," he whispered back, kissing Justin's sweaty chest. Justin's hands sought his, moaning when Lance kissed his neck. After a few minutes, Justin could take no more and demanded Lance's mouth, the passion stirred up between them more than evident. It was everywhere: in the bed, in the air, in them... In the dawn that was starting to show. Everywhere Justin looked he could feel and see their love. It consumed everything and everyone, until he was swallowed whole by it.
The air around them crackled with life.
"Are you okay?" Justin asked the man laying beside him. He'd been asking that question all night, but he couldn't stop. He had to make sure.
Lance was on his stomach gazing at Justin with wide, innocent green eyes sufficed with so much love that it made Justin's heart ache just thinking about it.
Lance smiled gently at him. "Yeah. Are you?"
Justin lightly kissed his cheek. "I love you."
Lance's smile widened slightly in amusement as he blinked slowly. "That's avoiding the question."
"I'm okay," Justin assured him, smiling back softly. "I do love you."
Lance kissed Justin's hand, which was between them, before settling onto his stomach again. "I love you, too."
Justin smiled at him, then paused, unsure of how to word what he was thinking. "I... Feel different," he admitted slowly, a bit nervously. "D-do you feel that, too?"
Lance suddenly smiled, his green eyes bright. "That feeling that the air around you is alive and sparkling?"
Justin's jaw fell and his eyes widened in surprise and happiness. "Then you do feel it!"
Lance nodded slowly, still smiling. "I feel it."
"D'you think that it's always going to be like this?"
Lance shrugged, then closed his eyes against the pain. Justin winced, feeling it in his own bones, but only a second later, Lance reopened his eyes and smiled gently at Justin. "I don't know. I hope so."
Justin lightly kissed his arm. "Me too." He reached out and stroked Lance's hair. "I think this is what they call the afterglow."
Lance sighed contentedly, smiling. "I can see why."
"Me too," Justin assured him. And he could. He felt like he could do anything, conquer anything, survive anything. The air was alive and buzzing and he was full of life, feeling like sparkling sunshine was radiating through his veins. He was perfect and he was complete because he had Lance and Lance had him, and he would never be alone again.
"I love you," Lance whispered softly, his green eyes gazing into Justin's. "And thank you."
Justin frowned briefly in confusion. "For what?"
"Showing me what it's supposed to be like," Lance explained softly, blinking slowly. "For showing me that it's not always bad." He smiled slightly in amusement. "For making me scream in pitches I didn't know I had."
Justin laughed out loud. "You're going to be competing with me for the lead, soon," he teased happily.
Lance flashed a grin. "No thanks. You keep it. I get to stare at you all I want if I'm behind you."
Justin kissed him lightly. "You can stare at me all you want whenever you want," he promised adoringly. "I'm going to go put on some hot water. Coffee? Tea? Champagne?"
"You're too young to drink," Lance reminded automatically.
Justin burst out laughing, laughing so hard that his stomach ached. "Maybe, my love, but I'm old enough to do everything else."
"Can't gamble," Lance objected, even as Justin climbed out of the bed.
Justin laughed again. "Tell you what. On my 21st, you can take me to Las Vegas and we'll go gamble half of our fortunes away."
"Reno's better."
Justin kissed him. "I'll take you wherever you want to go," he promised softly. "Now stay right there. I'll be right back."
"Okay."
Justin walked backwards to the door, staring at Lance for a couple more minutes, before Lance smiled at him and Justin laughed, only slightly embarassed. He turned and went into the kitchen, humming happily to himself. He put on the hot water and decided that Lance would probably like tea. Lance liked tea. And orange juice. Wait, did he have orange juice? He opened the refridgerator and checked, happily discovering that he did have orange juice. He poured them each a glass and carried it back to the bedroom, humming "It's Gonna Be Me."
Lance was sitting on the bed crying when Justin entered.
Two glasses of orange juice went falling to the ground, splashing the carpet and surrounding objects with orange.
"It's not you, Justin," Lance tried desperately. "It wasn't you at all!"
Justin, however, was inconsolable. "I knew I pushed you too fast!" he sobbed. "I knew it!"
"Justin, no!" Lance exclaimed. "No, you didn't! I pushed you, remember? No, no. I was just really happy and freaked out and scared that I was just trying to prove that I could actually have sex without it being brutal, but Justin, that isn't it at all!" Lance grasped Justin's hands. "Justin, you have to listen to me, baby. I have never been happier in my entire life than when I was with you last night and this morning. You make me happy. It was just a moment of temporary panic. It won't ever happen again!"
"I don't want to hurt you," Justin whimpered.
"You didn't, baby," Lance promised soothingly. "Not last night, and not this morning. Just right now, because I see you hurting and it hurts me, too." He hugged Justin as tightly as he could from where he sat on the couch in the living room beside him. "I love you, Justin. Please, please believe that. I don't regret anything except crying after you left. Really, Justin. I don't. I love you."
"I just..." Justin trailed off brokenly, wiping at his tears. "I feel like I took advantage of you."
"Justin, no--"
"You say that now," Justin interrupted, choking on his tears. "But you don't know. Two months, two years, two decades... You may look back and think differently!"
"No, baby..." Lance objected softly. "No, I won't." He took a deep breath. "Justin, when we first got together, I freaked out, remember? A-and I was flirting with JC, and Parker, and ignoring you."
Justin sniffed and met Lance's eyes with watery blue ones. "Are you trying to make me feel better? 'Cause it's not working."
Lance couldn't help but laugh as he hugged Justin tightly. "I just mean that I have a habit of doing dumb things and screwing up really good things. Don't let my moments of temporary insanity ruin this, Justin. Please." He knew he was starting to tear up, but he needed Justin. He loved Justin, and because he had been stupid for a few minutes, he was going to lose everything. He couldn't. He had to keep Justin. "I love you." He had to tell Justin... Show Justin... Make Justin understand... But he didn't know how.
Justin turned watery eyes on him and smiled weakly. "I love you too. And you don't do dumb things. Just... scary ones." He leaned forward and lightly kissed Lance, resting their foreheads together. Lance had never been more relieved in his entire life as he was in that moment, not even when Parker agreed to stop raping him. Justin was Lance's everything... Justin made the world go round, and without him, Lance didn't want it.
Lance sagged against Justin in relief. "I love you," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I love you."
"It's okay, baby," Justin assured him softly, and that's when Lance knew everything would be okay. He sighed in relief and hugged Justin as tightly as he could. He loved Justin so much. Justin kept him safe, Justin protected him... Justin was his center. Thank god for Justin.
"Hey guys, welcome to the world of the living," JC drawled as Justin and Lance entered the studio. Justin sighed softly, rubbing his eyes tiredly, while Lance muttered something under his breath that resembled an apology. "Where were you two?"
"Sleeping," Justin answered tiredly, slipping his hands in his back pockets. "We're not that late. What? An hour?"
"Try two and a half," Joey spoke up, smiling tightly at them.
"Sorry," Lance sighed.
Chris eyed them warily, but Justin and Lance were being very careful. They had agreed not to tell the guys anything yet. It was their life, theirs alone, and the guys didn't need to know. Not yet, anyway.
Plus, what if someone slipped to Parker?
Unnecessary risk, they had decided together. The other guys would live without knowing, and they could keep their hands off of each other. They were grown adults.
And no, they weren't just telling themselves that!
"You guys look like hell," Chris commented dryly.
"Fuck off," Justin muttered. He knew that he and Lance shouldn't be so exhausted, but he couldn't help it. They'd been up most of the night doing the most exhausting thing imaginable, and then after their little cry fest on the couch, they'd just been too tired to go in when they were supposed to. Not to mention that Justin was sort of sore in places he didn't know existed, and Lance had been gentle. Justin shuddered imagining Lance's first time and Parker not being careful. The thoughts made Justin want to rip Parker's dick off even more. Or at least stick some very thick, heavy, painful object up Parker's ass.
"Lance? Are you okay?" Justin glanced over as JC patted Lance on the back. Lance stiffened painfully, his hands clenching at his sides as he gasped and tried to control the pain. Justin felt it radiating down his own back, and longed to make Lance's pain go away.
"Fine," Lance assured JC brightly, and even Justin was impressed with his acting skills. "You?"
JC frowned at him. "Okay."
Something unspoken went between JC and Lance. Even Justin saw that, and from the looks of it, Joey and Chris and even Parker did, too. And then, suddenly, JC was kissing Lance while they all gaped in astonishment, Justin in horror.
Lance squirmed out of JC's arms in disbelief, his jaw open, while Justin angrily strode forward and stood beside him, tempted to just deck JC then and there.
"So what's wrong with your back?" JC asked conversationally, as if he hadn't just kissed Lance.
They all stared at him. "What?" Lance asked, obviously stunned. Justin felt Lance step closer to him, and Justin straightened, fully prepared to attack anyone that came after Lance.
"I said, what happened to your back?" JC repeated. "Come on Lance, don't make us strip you." JC's eyes trailed to Justin. "You two get rough last night?"
"You son of a bitch!" Justin shouted, starting towards JC immediately. Lance caught him and held him at bay while Justin struggled against him. "Let me go, Lance! Come here you wimpy piece of shit! I'm going to kill you!"
"Why?" JC demanded. "Because you know I'm right!"
"Fuck you! You actually think I'd hurt Lance?" Justin shouted furiously. "Lance, let go!"
"Justin," Lance soothed softly. Justin felt the fire leaving him, and reluctantly he slumped, glaring at JC over Lance's shoulder. Slowly Lance turned around to face JC. "Justin didn't touch me, Jace. You know that."
JC nodded slowly. "That's what I thought." JC studied Lance. "So who is?"
"No one," Lance lied. "I'm fine. Just a kink."
"Then why did I feel bandages, Lance?" JC sighed, rubbing his eyes. "We can do this all day or you can just tell me. You've been hiding this long enough." He glanced at Justin. "I was hoping you two were just... Well... Into that. But you're right. I can't see you hurting Lance." His eyes narrowed. "But you know who is." JC clasped his hands behind his back. "So!" he began brightly, starting a slow pace back and forth. "We have some choices, boys. You could tell us what's going on peacefully and we discuss this like adults. You could not tell us and make us strip Lance, but I'm really not eager to hurt you, Lansten, so that's not my favorite option. You could walk out, which you won't do because we'll simply come after you and go back to option two, or, you could just sit there in stoic silence until you crack." JC's eyes pointedly met Justin's. "Either way, Lance is the only one getting hurt."
"JC..." Lance breathed softly. JC's eyes met his, and they stared at each other.
Justin, however, was already full of anger. "You're so lucky, JC," he began dangerously. "That Lance is right here and your best friend, because otherwise I swear to god I'd kill you where you stand."
JC looked from Lance to Justin. "If you're such a good friend to him, then why are you letting this happen, Justin? Does he need you, now? Does it make you feel big and strong to protect him at night? Do you feel good about yourself because Lance comes crawling to you? Do you go on some big ego trip because Lance is helpless and looks to you to determine whether he can breathe or not?"
"Fuck you!"
The animalistic cry of rage resonated through out the studio, and before anyone could react, Lance was on top of JC. They were all so stunned that no one could react for a moment, and then everyone was reacting at once, Justin trying to pull Lance up before Lance hurt himself, and Joey and Chris trying to push Lance away and get JC up. Parker just stood there with wide eyes.
"Let go!" Lance howled, struggling against Justin's arms. "Let me go! JC, I'm going to fucking kill you! Get your hands off of me!"
"Lance!" Justin exclaimed, horrified. He'd never seen Lance like this before, and it scared him. "Lance, stop it before you hurt yourself!"
"Come here!" Lance barked at JC, still fighting Justin's grip. As weak as Lance was, he was struggling very well, and soon Justin was going to lose his grip. "You fucking son of a bitch! I'm going to fucking kill you!"
JC, meanwhile, was being held up by Joey and Chris, his eyes wide and astonished, not to mention hurt. His face crumbled and he sagged against Joey and Chris, covering his face with his hands as he cried.
Something went through Lance, and he stopped fighting Justin. Justin slowly let him go, watching Lance's face fall. The second that he did, Lance dove straight for JC, gathering JC into his arms and hugging him, rocking him gently back and forth and soothing him. The sight broke Justin's heart, and he had to swallow and move his eyes to try and keep the tears at bay.
Lance's yelp of surprise and horror brought Justin's attention back to the two on the ground, and he gaped for only an instant at the sight of JC and Joey both holding Lance down and ripping up his shirt before surging forward to stop them. Chris caught Justin, however, and Justin practically decked him to try and get to Lance.
But it was too late.
"Oh fuck," Joey breathed, horrified. JC was crying again, harder this time, and sank to his knees while Lance struggled weakly.
"Get the fuck off of him!" Justin howled, finally pulling back and popping Chris in the stomach. Chris staggered and nearly collappsed, but Justin ignored him and dropped to Lance's side, gathering a crying, nearly hysterical Lance into his arms and glaring hatefully at Joey and JC.
"Did you do that?" JC asked Justin, his voice a mere breath of horror.
"Fuck you!" Justin spat.
"Do you know who did it?" JC demanded, his voice growing louder. "Do you, Justin? Do you know who the fuck is messing with Lance?" Suddenly JC threw himself at Justin. Justin pushed Lance out of the way quickly, and they went rolling around on the ground. JC and Justin were still taking blows at each other when Justin heard Lance's cry of pain. In a burst of adrenaline, Justin threw JC off and quickly tried to get to Lance, who was being held too tightly by Joey and Chris.
"Let go," Lance begged, tears of pain streaming down his cheeks. "Justin!"
That was it.
Justin lunged at the three of them, knowing that he would hurt Lance. Lance cried out in pain again, but Joey and Chris were down, and in one instant, Justin had himself and Lance up, and Lance between himself and the wall, guarding Lance and glaring at his friends hatefully.
JC pulled his knees to his chest and began sobbing. Joey and Chris were trying to pick each other up, holding their heads. Justin sensed Lance falling to his knees behind him, but he didn't care as long as no one was touching Lance, who was crying.
When Justin had a feeling that no one was going to be getting up to touch Lance, he knelt down beside him. "C'mon," he instructed softly, gazing seriously at Lance's bowed head. "Let's get out of--"
Lance cried out when Justin fell against him. Parker stood behind him, his foot resetting on the ground as Lance looked up at him, horrified. Parker had kicked Justin in the head?!
"Are you all alright?" Parker asked them, winking at Lance and then turning a worried, concerned face at them.
They were all gaping at him in disbelief. "You just kicked Justin!" Joey gasped. "Lance, is he okay?"
Lance, meanwhile, was lightly stroking Justin's hair, begging him to open his eyes before looking up hatefully at Parker's back. JC noticed his look, and JC did a double take, slowly looking between Lance and Parker. Lance met JC's eyes and then closed them, tears trickling down his cheeks before he could stop them.
Everything happened at once.
JC lunged for Parker's throat, Joey and Chris jumped to their feet and went for the rest of him, and Lance hugged Justin's limp body to him as tightly as he could, trying to shield him.
"You hurt Justin," Lance finally whispered, raising his eyes and looking up at Parker. The other guys stopped in the middle of their attacks, and everyone looked at him. Slowly Lance stood, gently setting Justin down, caressing his cheek, before he went to go stand above Parker. Parker was shaking, bleeding, and scared, and Lance knew it. "You promised you wouldn't if I did everything you said. You swore. Give me those negatives."
"Ha," Parker panted. "Forget it!"
"Wrong answer, baby," Lance told him, smiling sweetly. He brought his foot crashing into Parker's ribcage, listening with satisfaction as they all heard a crunching, shattering sound, followed by Parker's scream. "Negatives?"
"F-fuck you!"
Lance kicked him again. "Negatives!" he barked. "You lost, Parker. I don't care anymore. I don't fucking care! Whether you give me those god damn negatives now is irrelevant, but it will determine whether I kill you myself, or I let Justin wake up and torture you!"
Parker was sobbing in hysterical pain and shaking horribly. "You'll pay for this," Parker warned. "You'll fucking pay!"
"Yeah, I know baby, 'cause you're daddy's the head of Jive and all that shit, right?" Lance kicked Parker one more time, listening to Parker's loud howls of pain. "I don't give a fuck! I tried to be good, Parker. I tried to do everything you fucking asked me! You raped me, I let you. You beat me, I let you. You cut me, and I let you!" He knelt down and soothingly touched Parker's cheek. "Now you have a choice. You can either give me those negatives and promise that we'll never speak of this again, or I can wake Justin up to kick your ass."
Parker's eyes lifted above Lance's head in terror, and Lance smiled inwardly to himself as he felt the presense behind him. He purposefully kept his eyes on Parker, showing unquestioning, unshakible trust in the person behind him.
"Oh, can I?" Justin breathed in dangerous delight, his eyes lit up maliciously.
Lance smirked at Parker. "I'm not quite as weak when you fuck with my friends," he told Parker sweetly. "Especially one that I happen to be in love with."
Justin smiled down at Parker. "That'd be me, babe," he clarified. "And actually, I'd love it if you didn't give Lance those negatives, 'cause then he'll let me have my way with you. But if you give them to him, I have a feeling that he'll stop me. So by all means, keep the negatives to yourself."
Parker whimpered softly.
Lance smiled warmly at him. "Come on, honey. I'm only asking one more time. Where are the negatives of you raping me?"
Chris, Joey, and JC immediately pounced on Parker's already battered body while Lance tried to stop them and Justin held him back.
"I've got them!"
They all turned simultaneously to the entrance of the studio, where Ace stood, his eyes wide and terrified. "I've got it all," Ace told them, looking pale and sick to his stomach. "I-I can't... I just can't..."
"Ace," Parker hissed furiously, his teeth gritted and laced with blood.
"Oh Parker," Ace breathed. "I-I never thought you would go this far."
"You knew about this?" Justin demanded, his hands tightening painfully on Lance's arms.
"No," Ace whispered, shaking his head. "Not until yesterday, when he promised that it wouldn't happen again... I came in to see him and he was pretty messed up. Today, I started searching." Ace held up a folder. "It's all in here." His eyes turned to Parker. "Oh baby. Why?"
"Because I could," Parker spat. "Fucking backstabber!"
Ace calmly stepped forward, holding the envelope out for Lance to take. Lance's fingers trembled as he took it, fumbling with it until it opened. He looked inside, at the negatives and pictures, and then shut the envelope. He handed it to Justin, and hugged Ace tightly.
Ace hugged him back, which hurt, and he couldn't stop the small whimper that escaped his lips. Ace pulled away quickly. "I'm sorry about all of this," Ace whispered. "Parker and I... We've always had a pretty open relationship. A-and I told you that I was seeing someone..." He shook his head and swallowed thickly, his eyes full of tears. "Parker, I'm sorry."
Parker glared at him.
Ace closed his eyes, then opened them and pulled out his cell phone. "I'm not going to tell them about you, Lance, unless you want me to," Ace told him gently. "You have all the proof in your hands. If you deny it, no one will know. Parker won't say anything, I won't say anything. If you want people to know, that's your choice, too."
Lance closed his eyes, letting the tears of relief and anger slip out. He opened them slowly. "No one will know," Lance repeated. He turned to his friends. "We're leaving."
"Lance--" Justin protested.
"Wait!" JC argued.
"Don't be--" Joey admonished.
"But Lance--" Chris started.
"No," Lance stated firmly. He looked down at the pathetic, quivering mass that Parker had become, and slowly looked back up at Ace. "Thank you."
Ace's eyes flooded with tears. "I'm sorry, Lance."
"Me too." Lance reached out and took Justin's hand. "Guys?" he prompted. "There's a lot we've got to talk about."
Justin nodded. "There is," he agreed, tugging his hand loose. "But one thing I have to do first." He knelt down beside Parker, who trembled at the sight of Justin. Justin smiled and lightly kissed Parker's forehead. "Thank you for giving him to me," he whispered softly, then pulled back his fist and punched Parker straight in the eye. Parker slumped unconscious, and Justin stood, grimacing and flexing his hand. "Well that hurt like a bitch," he muttered, reaching out with his good hand and taking Lance's. "Anyone up for something to eat?"
"So Parker was raping you this whole time?" Joey asked in disbelief. "And you never told any of us?"
Justin watched as Lance fidgeted nervously. "No," he answered honestly. "I was scared. I didn't want anything to hurt our careers or our lives, and I knew this would."
Justin gazed out at the fireplace in Lance's house, where every shred of blackmail on Lance was now burning to ashes. Lance was okay. Parker was hopefully dead, or at least broken. Ace was just a punk kid. JC, Joey, and Chris were being supportive. Everything would be okay.
"So you knew?" JC asked Justin, drawing Justin out of his thoughts. "You knew this whole time?"
Justin set his jaw. "Yeah, I knew, Josh," he agreed slowly.
"And you didn't try to go to the police?"
"It wasn't my decision. It was Lance's." Justin glanced down at the boy beside him, who placed a hand on his leg where he sat in front of Justin's arm, which was along the back of the couch. Lance was trying to tell him to calm down, but Justin couldn't help it. He just got defensive whenever he spoke to JC about Lance. JC was bitter at him and he knew it.
JC nodded slowly. "I know. I would have done the same thing." Justin detensed while JC looked to Lance. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Shame," Lance answered honestly, immediately. "At first I thought it was my fault, and then I was too scared... I didn't tell Justin, he actually walked in on it." Lance shuddered and looked up at him. "I'm sorry about that, by the--"
Justin silenced him with a finger over his lips. Lance smiled at him gently and kissed his finger, taking Justin's hand and holding it between his on their legs.
"And Justin took care of me," Lance told them simply. "When I was cut, he dressed it, when I was bleeding he held the towel... When I cried he held me. I would not have made it through this without Justin." He smiled up at Justin, then out at his friends. "But it's not what you may be thinking... It's not a matter of, 'Oh, I'm grateful to you so I love you.' It's not like that at all."
"We know, Lance," Chris broke in, his voice still thick with tears. Joey held him even tighter. "We always knew there was something between you and Justin. You two argued too much and yet you always... I don't know... Looked out for each other. It's just... We always pretty much knew that something was up."
"Do you need to... See someone?" Joey asked slowly.
"Like a shrink?" Lance asked understandingly. Joey hesitated, then nodded. "I'm thinking about it, Joe. I think I'm pretty fucked up, no pun intended." He sighed and Justin couldn't resist kissing his temple. When he pulled away, Lance was smiling and his eyes were closed. He opened them slowly and looked up at Justin. "You okay?" he asked softly. "You got pretty fucked up, too."
Justin winced. "Well other than not liking the fact that you're using that word, I'm fine."
Lance smiled gently at him. "Sorry."
Justin sighed and kissed his forehead softly, resting his cheek on the top of Lance's head and closing his eyes when Lance leaned against him. He knew the other guys were staring at them, but he just wanted to touch Lance--hold him for just a moment.
"Wow," JC breathed softly. Justin opened his eyes and looked over at him. He was smiling, and tears were shining in his eyes. "Pay up, Joe. I told you they'd be perfect together."
Joey reached into his wallet while Justin and Lance pulled apart. "Wha...?" Lance asked, and Justin didn't blame his confusion one bit.
JC snagged the twenty from Joey's hand and grinned at them. "Come on, Lance. You and I have been best friends for forever. I know what you're like when you want something. And you've wanted Mr. Timberlake here since I can remember."
Justin released Lance, watching as Lance crossed to JC and hugged him tightly. He smiled at them, then over at Joey and Chris, who were holding each other, and was fairly certain that everything was going to be okay.
Especially when Lance smiled at him.
~~~~END~~~~