JANUARY WHITE SALES

Each year she impatiently waited for the January White sales. There was nothing she looked forward to, more than the white sales. She loved the crisp new sheets more than anything else in the world. In years past, the White Sale was just that, a white sale. She could only buy white sheets and pillowcases. But the modern sales were ever so much better. There were sheets of all colors. This year was no different. When the newspaper ads came out, touting the sale of the many colored sheets and pillowcases, she was in ecstasy. She grabbed her credit card, hopped into the car and drove to the largest department store in the city. There she filled her shopping cart with new sheets and pillowcases of all colors. Happily she paid for the purchases with the credit card and drove home to stow them away in the linen cupboard. She opened the cupboard door and the unopened packages of sheets she had bought in the past came tumbling out. She was buried beneath them.

A few weeks went by. Neighbors noticed newspapers piling up in her driveway and summoned the police to investigate. Officers knocked on her door and got no response. They broke a window and got in that way. They searched the house and found the hallway blocked by tons of sheets that had fallen from the cupboard. An odor was coming from the pile. One young rookie held his nose and said, "Oh sheet!" Or something that sounded like that. The worst was suspected. They started removing the sheets and yes, they found her lying there, crushed beneath her beloved sheets. She was laid to rest in the local cemetery. Her headstone read.....