The Great Egg Hunt The challenge was to write a story of humor and within the story use the word 'egg', or 'eggs', twenty-five times. Another requirement was that the phrase "I'm a good driver" had to be used seven times. RickMack (jotoma@bellsouth.net) wrote the following story: Marilyn had just downed her fourth eight-ounce glass of eggnog, when she came up with the idea that the entire group in her Writer’s Corner should hide eggs throughout the country for kids to find on Easter Sunday. Each member of the group was assigned an eggsausting amount of territory to cover. “I’m a good driver,” claimed Marilyn, so she was assigned to drive the two and a half ton canvas topped truck that would deliver bulk cartons of eggs to each person. Swampetta agreed to accompany her around the nation, while they dropped eggs. Swampy was quick to point out that she preferred scrambled eggs to dropped eggs. Marilyn snickered, but didn’t want to egg Swampy on, or no eggs would be delivered. That woman sure liked to palaver. After maneuvering the big truck a couple of miles, Marilyn managed to meander off Route 95 and landed in a ditch beside the highway. She smiled at Swampy and again said, “I’m a good driver.” Luckily, no eggs were broken in the incident. Frannie agreed to cover New York and the New England states with eggs, while Paul would scatter eggs from New Jersey south to North Carolina, sticking to rural areas around the Appalachian Trail. He’d get much help from Lynn in the citified regions, where she knew the streets only too well. Marilyn and Swampy had double duty, as they also hid a lot of eggs as they drove along through other eastern states. Swampy was totally eggsasperated by the time Marilyn went off the road for the fifth time. “Really,” said Marilyn each time, “I’m a good driver.” The pair got a good rest at Betty’s place. Betty was assigned several states around the Great Lakes as her egg hiding territory. She was also thrilled to receive two cute yellow chicks to nurture. They had hatched in the truck, during the time Marilyn and Swampy were having a heated argument over Marilyn’s driving. She had just muttered the words, “I’m a good driver,” for the umpteenth time when the two eggs cracked and peeps were heard from behind her driver’s seat. About this time Paul checked in on his cellphone to announce that he’d run out of eggs, but had hidden thousands from New Jersey to South of the Border, that garish conglomerate of businesses at the North Carolina/South Carolina line. He stopped there for a three egg omelet, but threw up when he saw the eggs on a plate. That made eggsactly three eggs too many that he’d seen in recent days. Meanwhile, from the tip of Key West to the same South of the Border destination north, Rick had scattered eggs all over the southland. Familiar with the local tastes, he, at his own expense, included a packet of microwavable grits with each egg. Starbird, way off in the Hawaiian Isles, Dreamer, Marilyn J. and other members of the Writers’ Corner were checking in from all over the country, proudly telling Marilyn how much territory they had covered with eggs. Sharon was crestfallen to report that she failed to deposit many eggs in shady places, and the Arizona sun had hard boiled a large number of eggs that were left in the open. However, California, Nevada and Colorado eggs were doing nicely, she boasted. Meanwhile, Marilyn and Swampy were desperately trying to return the truck to the road in Wyoming. A soft shoulder along a major route collapsed under the front right wheel of the truck as the two egg merchants pulled over at a likely egg hideaway. Marilyn was stomping the sunken tire yelling, “I’m a good driver!” Swampy was putting her shoulder against the back of the truck, but to no avail. She yelled to Marilyn, “Hey, how about helping me push this thing.” By now there were a dozen or more chicks running around in the back of the truck. That canvas top made the interior a perfect incubator, with the sun beating down on it. Several miles ahead, Tom and Clem were waiting for the long overdue egg delivery. Clem suggested, “What say we meander up the road a piece, Tom? P’raps we can meet them thar gals a comin’ this way.” Tom agreed, and the two climbed into a rust bucket of a pickup and headed up the highway. Well, it was a momentus occasion when they came across the egg delivery truck stuck in the soft shoulder. Tom jumped out of the pickup, ran to Marilyn’s side and queried, “How in heck did ya git yerself in this fix?” Marilyn snapped back, “I’m a good driver!” Swampy rolled her eyes for Tom’s and Clem’s benefit. “I am!” screamed Marilyn. “I’m a good driver!” She gave the tire another kick. It took quite a while, but they all managed to get the truck on the road again. Tom and Clem unloaded a lot of eggs, for they were to cover several huge northern states. It was decided that the boys would also keep the newly laid chicks, as well. It was quite a sight to see all those chicks running around Tom’s place with half-starved goats fast on their trail. Well, they’d covered a tremendous amount of territory dropping off those eggs, and come Easter Sunday, millions of youngsters were scurrying across the nation on the Great Egg Hunt, as it had been named. Kids scrambled all over the place, as did many broken eggs. The winner of the hunt turned out to be a young girl in Benedict, Oklahoma. The entire town turned out to celebrate with huge plates of eggs benedict prepared for all. Driving back to Maryland, Marilyn sighed and told Swampetta, “What an eggsperience that was. But we made it. Never could have done it if it weren’t that I’m a good driver.” Swampy looked at Marilyn and simply muttered, “Woman, whyn’t ya put an egg in your shoe and beat it!” ~ © RickMack (jotoma@bellsouth.net) ~ March 2004 BACK All poems and short stories on this website have a copyright. If you wish to use one or more on your website, contact the author for permission. If you enjoyed this page, check these out: I'm A Good Driver Desert Spring Humor Darn Cat Click the image and visit my business website. And.......for many others, click the link for HOME. Home: Writers' Early Spring 2004 Index