Pat Tells the World about Grossology!
Back in August 2001 we lived in simpler times, back when the World Trade Center was still around. It was on August 22, 2001 I decided to visit an exhibit at the science museum in St. Paul called Grossology. Yes, we were living in simpler times back on August 22, 2001, but the weather was too fucking hot that day with temperatures in the upper 80s and the dew point was 69, which was pretty horrible. The good news is the science museum was air-conditioned.
Anyway, if you didn’t make it to the Grossology exhibit, it involves most of the disgusting things about being human, which includes snot, boogers, bowel movements, vomiting, urinating, burping and blowing farts. I went to the library to get the book Grossology and it even has fake vomit on the front cover. I find this kind of hard to believe, but the book with the fake vomit on it is recommended for kids age 9-13. I sure wish that there was a book with fake vomit at the library when I was a kid! I learned quite a few things that I didn’t know before at the Grossology exhibit. 1 of the displays they talked about was boogers and snot. They had a display that said that there was a survey on nose picking and 70% of the people surveyed admitted to picking boogers from their nose, while 3% of them admitted to eating their boogers and then they went on to say "YUCK". I would say that whoever wrote that was rather opinionated! I used to eat my boogers when I was a kid and thought they tasted kind of good. My mother told me that eating boogers was not very healthy and I actually listened to her, but I don’t know why.
In that survey, 70% of people admitted to picking boogers from their nose. Here’s my question: What about the 30% of the people who don’t pick boogers from their nose? What do they do with them? Do they just keep the crusted boogers their nose and wait for them to fall out on their own or are the 30% of the people who don’t pick boogers from their nose really superior to the rest of us and is it possible that they never get boogers in their nose? I strongly suspect that the 30% of those who deny picking boogers from their nose are lying. For those who deny ever having boogers form in their nose, I want them to prove it. I want to be able to watch the inside of the noses of those people 24 hours a day for a couple of days at least a couple of days, so they can prove that they never get boogers in their nose. If that’s not all, I want those people to pay me for the time that I will spend monitoring their nose to make sure that they never have boogers in them, so they can prove that they are better than everyone else.
I would like to say that I am 1 of the 30% of the people who never pick my nose. I do however scratch my nose because it gets itchy and sometimes boogers come out. I remember 1 time I was scratching my nose when a booger came out and I showed it to my cat and he ate it. That cat really enjoyed eating boogers too, especially if there was a piece of snot at the end of it. I am afraid that cat has since died and that was the only cat I ever had who enjoyed eating my boogers. I know what some of you are thinking. "Ooh, he fed boogers to his cat, ooh that’s sick, ooh that’s so gross". Here’s what I have to say. He or she who never had a booger come out their nose, cast the 1st stone. I have reason to suspect that boogers come out of everyone’s nose, so deal with it! I remember watching Jay Leno when he was doing "Headlines" and he showed a picture of a fairly good looking woman in a magazine for models and he zoomed in on her nose and their was a booger in there. Even bimbos get boogers in their nose!
Another thing they talked about at the Grossology is farts and poop and even had drawings of turds. They talked about how the skin around the anus vibrates when people take a dump and blow farts. I was hoping that I would have run into Beavis and Butt-Head at the Grossology exhibit, but they weren’t there. Butt-Head would probably say "hey Beavis do you know that just before you take a dump the skin around your anus vibrates huh huh huh."
Another display they had at Grossology was a display about vomiting. Vomiting is more disgusting than anything. They mentioned that people have a vomit center in their brain. Can’t they get rid of that? Vomiting sucks. If they can put a man on the moon, I don’t know why someone can’t do something so people don’t have to throw up anymore. Another thing they mentioned about vomiting is a lot of pregnant women get morning sickness and puke in the morning. If I was a woman and if I was pregnant, I would not put up with that morning sickness bullshit! As soon as a fetus causes me to throw up, it’s off to the abortion clinic I go! No fetus is going to cause me to puke my guts out and keep in mind that morning sickness is only the tip of the iceberg of a life sentence of pure hell for those who choose to breed! For those who do decide to have kids, they should be at least open minded enough to let their kids eat their boogers. 1st of all, boogers are brain food and there is a special enzyme in boogers that cause people to grow up to be cool. I used to eat my boogers when I was a kid and I grew up to be cool, but it’s not just me, so I can prove that eating boogers cause people to grow up to be cool. I haven’t talked about my friend Joon in a while, but she told me that she ate her boogers when she was a little kid and she turned out to be the coolest person I know. Also, Joon turned out to be intelligent because she knows how to save money by stealing toilet paper.
1 subject they did not talk about at Grossology is menstrual blood, even though menstrual blood is pretty gross, but considering they talked about the other things at Grossology does give me hope that people in this country are starting to lighten up. I sure wish they had something like Grossology when I was a kid! If you want to see the Grossology exhibit at the science museum, I am afraid that you are shit out of luck, no pun intended because the exhibit closed on Labor Day. I took a lot of pictures at Grossology and posted them on the webpage with my stories, if anyone is interested. The reason I decided to talk about this subject is because for so much of my life, I have had a hard time dealing with being human. If people would lighten up and stop ridiculing people because of their boogers or the smell of their farts, we will have world peace at last.
The Aftermath of Pat's talk on Grossology:
I was brave enough to go up on stage to talk about my boogers and feeding boogers to the cat I had that died. A lot of people were cool and enjoyed what I had to say, but there was 1 person who did react in horror with some of the things I said, especially when I mentioned that I would run off to the abortion clinic if the fetus caused me to puke. Well, anyone with some intelligence would realize that abortion is really the best thing to do. Anyway, here is my other page on Grossology, with all the pictures I took, including the picture of the cat who ate my boogers and click here to get to my vision of the world page.