firstvote

      I have come to the end of a journey that nearly all of us have traveled. It began approximately one year ago. It has been an exciting, intellectual journey through worlds with which I thought I was familiar but instead found that they were fresh, exciting, and slightly exotic. Throughout the journey I was searching for an answer; needing to make a decision about a question I had never before encountered. This lead me to places far and near, new and mundane, in both the physical and idealistic realms. A great number of people were on a journey similar to mine. Some were also new to it, but some had made it several times before. Many no longer even bothered to pursue the search as they had already decided on their preferred outcome. A few ignored it altogether, but none will be unaffected by the consequences of my journey. I was deciding who to vote for the in United States Presidential election.
      This will be my first Presidential vote. I turned 18 only a year and a half ago. It was last year around this time that I began taking notice of the candidates and what they were saying. I soon discovered a fondness for Bill Bradley, the former Democratic Senator in New Jersey who had played basketball for the Knicks. I was familiar with his reputation in Congress for being someone who thought for himself. I became so interested in Mr. Bradley that I borrowed his most recent book from my local library. I read all about his excellent academic history as a Princeton standout and Rhodes Scholar. I was fascinated by the stories of his successes in professional sports and in the harsh world of the Senate. I felt myself being swept up in the excitement of my first Presidential decision.
      By February of this year I had signed up to take a 12 hour bus ride from Washington D.C.(where I go to school) to New Hampshire to campaign for Bradley before that state's highly important Democratic primary. I felt that I was working on something important and it was exhilarating. But, what creates the most emotion does not necessarily generate the most votes. Bill Bradley's hope of gaining the Democratic nomination for President was squashed and I was left without a candidate to believe in.
      This disappointment was short-lived, however, because I soon discovered the power and dignity of Senator John McCain's attempt to get the Republican nomination. I was awed by tales of McCain's five years in a Vietnamese Prisoner of War camp and of how he stood out from the crowd of stuffy politicians to blaze his own trail toward the White House. In a small flurry of emotion I changed my registration from independent to Republican and ordered an absentee ballot for the Republican primary in my home state of Connecticut. Because of this late decision it cost me $7.50 to get my ballot delivered overnight to be counted on time - no insignificant burden for my college budget. McCain did win Connecticut, but that was not enough. He gracefully bowed out of the race and put his support to Governor George W. Bush of Texas. This created a problem for me.
      I really disliked George W. Bush. More than most any other public official, I disliked GW Bush. I was strongly against some of his specific stances on issues, and I had more general concerns about his background. I thought that I could never, under any circumstances, cast a vote for GW Bush for President.
      The only other option I saw at the time was Democratic nominee, Vice President Al Gore. I didn't have any reason to be against Gore, I simply had no reason to be in favor of his presidency. This was not satisfactory for me. I needed something more.
      The search became more urgent for me. I explored the web sites of the candidates. I gave full attention to their three televised debates. I took the issues and debated them myself with friends and acquaintances. In doing all of this, I did gain some progress: My distaste for GW Bush softened. His excellent performance in the debates smoothed out many of my small differences with him, and my research showed that Al Gore shared some of the most distasteful characteristics that I found in Bush. But, there were still a couple large issues that I could not reconcile in the face of my differences with Bush. And, I still had no special reason to favor Gore. I grew worried.
      Then, as my strides along this difficult trail were growing weaker, directionless, and apparently pointless, I found a new path. I had come to realize that I could not cast a vote that I felt would have a positive influence on deciding our Presidential election. So, I turned to other goals. I gave my consideration to Green Party candidate Ralph Nader. I liked him. I liked the way he raises difficult questions and tackles ignored issues. I did not like him so much I would want him to be President. I do not think he would make a good President. But, I found that my journey did not have to be unsuccessful simply because the destination I had set out for turned out to be a mirage. I could find success by changing my sought after destination.
      A vote for Ralph Nader, I realized, would lend credibility and support for new ways of thinking. His efforts to inject new perspective and concerns into the political world would be rewarded with a small donation of my consideration. Ideally, 5% of all other voters would see it this way as well and collectively we would have the effect of causing the Green Party to get additional funds from the government in future elections. But, regardless of the outcome I knew that my journey had been successful. My search had lead me to the ability to lend support for a cause that I believed in and felt good about. I would not choose the next President, but I would have an effect on the world which he would govern. And, it felt good.

Back to Autobiographical page

Back to History page

Ryan's Writings main page