Obviously, this was not written by yours truly... I just thought it
was interesting so I posted it.  On a serious note, if you are feeling
suicidal PLEASE call your friendly neighborhood suicide prevention
hotline.  Remember that any situation, no matter how bleak, is only
temporary.  If you are in a situation where suicide seems like a solution,
please get help.  I was in that dark state a few times, and thank God that
I did not succeed in my attempts....

	This has been a public service message courtesy of 'Dragon's Lair'...





	This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the
Punk Rock 101 Courses over the years, it's my first introduction to the,
shall we say ethics involved with independence and the embracement of our
community has been proven to be very true.  I haven't felt the excite- ment
of listening to, as well as creating music, along with really writing
something for too many years now.  I feel guilty beyond words about these
things, for example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the
manic roar of the crowd begins.  It doesn't affect me in the way which it
did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love and relish the love and
admiration from the crowd, which is something I totally admire and envy. 
The fact is, I can't fool you, any of you.  It simply isn't fair to you, or
to me.  The worst crime I can think of would be to pull people off by
faking it, pretending as if I'm having one hundred percent fun.  Sometimes
I feel as though I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out
on-stage.  I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I
do, God believe me, I do, but it's not enough.  I appreciate the fact that
I, and we, have affected, and entertained a lot of people.  I must be one
of the narcisists who only appreciate things when they're alone.  I'm too
sensitive, I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm. 
But, what's sad is our child.  On our last three tours, I've had a much
better appreciation of all the people that I have known personally, and as
fans of our music.  But I still can't get out the frustration, the guilt,
and the sympathy I have for everybody.  There is good in all of us, and I
simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad.
 The sad little sensitive unappreciative pisces Jesus man.  I have it good,
very good, and I'm grateful.  But since the age of 7, I've become hateful
towards all humans in general.  Only because it seems so easy for people to
get along and have empathy.  Empathy only because I love and feel for
people too much I guess. Thank you from the pit of my burning nauseas
stomach for your letters and concern during the last years.  I'm too much
of a neurotic moody person and I don't have the passion anymore, so
remember, it's "Better to burn out, than fade away."  Peace, love, empathy,
Kurt Cobain. 
  	
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