Joy and pain reside
In my head.
A vicious mixture,
A toxic brew of
Emotional turmoil.

My life goes on day
After day, and my 
Sphere of knowledge
Grows.

But the more I think
I know, the more I
Find I have to learn.

A puzzle that is never 
Complete, endless pieces
Side by side, joined by
Experience.

I place another jigsaw
Fragment down with the
Others, and the picture
Is no more clear than

It was at the beginning,
When I knew nothing but
Fear and love.

The two ultimate
Polar opposites --
North and South on the
Magnetic emotional map.

Day and night,
Happiness and blight,
Life and death.

The question is which
Is which?

I seem to love
Fear yet fear 
Love.

Am I perverse, or
Am I simply human?

Doesn't everyone
Feel the same wide-eyed
Rush when scared?

The same giddy doubt
When free-falling in
Love?

I feel myself changing
As my life molds me into
Something I thought I'd
Never be.

How much control do I
Have over this metamorph?

Am I simply a caterpillar
Cocooned by fate -- waiting
To be set free?

And if so, will I be a
Beautiful butterfly soaring
With wings of satin,

Or a paperwhite moth
Plain as the color

Of boredom?

What will become of
Me as I grow old and
Reflect on the years
I've left behind?

Will I still have my
Friends, or will they
Have tired of my senility?

Will I still have my
Compassion, or will it
Be slowly whittled away?

Will I still have my
Dreams, or will I wake
To find them dying?

But, most of all,
After all is said
And done,

After the change is 
Complete, will I still
Be me?
  
Home