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Our sweet little Darious was conceived on June 12, 2000.  He truly was a miracle from the very start.  Sheldon and I had not decided to have another child, but God had another plan in mind.  Once we got over the surprise that he was coming, we anxiously awaited his arrival.  On March 6, 2001 at 3:45pm he made a very quick and grand entrance into the world.  He was 8# 2oz. and 19 3/4" long with a head full of hair like you wouldn't believe!!  He was absolutely beautiful and had the quietest little cry.  It was truly one of the happiest days of our lives.  His 22mos. old brother Nikolas was so excited to be a big brother.  He fell in love with Darious the moment he met him.  We felt so blessed to have two healthy little boys at home.  I had decided to take 12 weeks off of work to spend time with both of them before having to go back.  How could I have possibly known that a week after going back to work my precious little angel would be going back to Heaven.

On Tuesday, June 5th, the day started out like the last few days before.  We were still trying to figure out a routine to get all of us out of the house on time.  I woke our precious little baby up at 6:15am and spent the next half hour feeding him and talking to him.  He just loved being talked to and talking back to you.  It was the sweetest sound you have ever heard.  I would love to be able to hear that sound just one more time to savor for a lifetime.  I would also give anything in the world to be able to re-live those 30 precious minutes over and over again. 

As we got to daycare, Nikolas was unusually clingy that morning.  Every morning I would spend about 15 minutes getting both of them settled in at the daycare before heading off to work.  I now believe that Nikolas knew something wasn't right and was trying to get me to stay there with both of them.  I truly believe in angels and know that a lot of them were in place on that day to take care of our family.  Unfortunately I was not able to spend any time with Darious because of the time Nikolas and I spent together.  He was so happy sitting there in his carseat looking out at the other kids.

When I got ready to leave I bent down to my little guy and said, "Mommy is so sorry that your brother took up all of the time this morning, but I promise to make it up to you tonight.  I love you and hope you have a wonderful day!".  I gave him a huge kiss and went on my way.  I wish so much that I had taken an extra minute to take him out of his car seat and hold him tight.  Who would have known that it was the last time I would see him alive.  Just to hug, kiss, cuddle, feed, rock, talk to, anything ... everything ....just one more time.

At approximately 10:45am I got a call at work from the 911 dispatcher telling me that they were on their way to an emergency call.  That my sweet little baby wasn't breathing at daycare.  We rushed as quickly as possible and made it to the daycare just as the ambulance was about to leave.  At first they were not going to let me go with them, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  The ride seemed like it was the longest 20 minutes of my life.  The whole time the EMT were continuing to perform CPR on Darious and try to revive him.  I now know that with a SIDS baby there is no way to revive them.  Once we got to the hospital I saw him laying on the guerney while they kept trying to resusitate him.  Sheldon made it to the hospital a few minutes later and just two minutes after that the Dr. came out and said how sorry she was, but they had done all that they could.

Sheldon and I will never forget that day for the rest of our lives.  How could our precious, beautiful, extremely happy and healthy baby have died at only 13 weeks old?? The guilt that I had felt because Darious was a tummy sleeper and died on his tummy was so overwhelming.  Please understand that Back to Sleep helps reduce the risk, but is not a cause of death.  My sweet little baby had a little switch in his brain that shut completely off that day.  I hope one day they can figure out why so innocent little babies will not continue to die.  I also hope that the media will realize that these babies are dying and not because of anything anyone has done.  I have learned so much during our short journey of living life after SIDS, but so many people just don't know.

Our sweet little boy had a special purpose in this Master Plan and I am so blessed to be called his Mommy.  We love him so much and live with purpose to do good according to God's plan in Darious' name.  He is so happy in Heaven and one day we will meet with him again.  Oh what a glorious day that will be!!!!