Trouble Removing Name From Mormon Records

They ignore one's personal desire

Name removal can be more trying than one might imagine..."


I was living with my husband in the foothills of CO just north of the Air Force Academy. He was an active Mormon and I had been inactive since 1979.

It was now 1990 and time to have my name removed from the church records because I found out that as long as I was still on the books, members were praying for me to come back to the fold. Besides, my visiting teachers had to visit me every month and I was still expected to be present when our home teachers came to call. I phoned the bishop of our ward to request he proceed to do what needed to be done for me to be officially removed from the church records. He said he would get back to me when he had all the paperwork.

The following Sunday my husband came home from church very upset. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me that the bishop called him into his office. I asked what for. He replied that the bishop told him about my request to be removed from the church records and was it okay with him.

I was outraged that behind my back the bishop had asked my husband if it was okay with him that his wife wanted out of the church. As if I was a child needing my parent's permission.

The following Sunday the bishop came to the house with the papers for me to sign. They were simple and straight forward and I signed all three. Then he started asking me if I had found another religion. I said I was following a path, which I had been studying for six years. He wanted to know about it and began asking questions like, "Does your religion believe in God?", "Do you believe in Christ as your Savior?"

I knew where this was going so I offered him a book and a video explaining my belief system and said if he was really interested in my path then he could read or watch the video about it. As he was getting ready to leave, I asked him if I was now officially off the church records. He said no, that it would next have to go to a higher authority in the church to decide. Keeping my anger under control, I said, "You mean some other man will decide whether my name will be removed or not when it is my decision to make?" The bishop assured me that I would get my wish.

When I thought this fiasco was finally over, my husband asked the bishop, "Bishop, what about me?" I'll never forget word for word his response. "Don't worry, M..., a woman will be provided for you in the eternities."

I was too stunned to come up with a sarcastic reply like, "And will she or they all be virgins?" I sat still not wanting them to know how disgusted I was with their words, which were deliberately thrown in my face. The bishop walked out the door without the book and video I offered to him to borrow.

Three days later I received a letter from the LDS Church informing me that my name was no longer on the church's records.

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Page Modified: August 7, 2003