by Charla
Chapter 1
A Teaspoon of Advice: “Things don’t always stay put the way you left ‘em.”
It was a dark and stormy night and the rain was pelting the lone rider’s back as he pushed his horse farther down the trail. He had been riding for what felt like years, but this time, his destination was within reach. With less than a day to ride, he did not want to stop, neither for the bad weather nor for the late hour.
Kid had always taken special care of his horses; he had an affinity for them, but the woman he was trying to reach was more important than horseflesh. Finally though, he decided to take pity on his poor horse and stop for the night. He had been separated from her for four years now; he guessed one more night could not hurt.
Pleased to find a small outcropping of rock, the former soldier quickly but thoroughly brushed down his four-legged friend and set up a makeshift tent. Luckily, he would be somewhat dry tonight.
In the years of the Civil War, he had spent many an uncomfortable night; he was more than used to a hard, unforgiving ground beneath him. This night, he shifted restlessly because he knew she was so close. Tomorrow, he could see her, touch her, hold her and taste her. The years yawned between them, but his love was solid and steadfast.
The number of times he had regretted leaving her so soon after their wedding more than equaled the number of nights he’d slept away from her side. Kid didn’t know whether to expect a joyous reunion or angry accusations when he reached Lou, but he was ready for either. He intended to spend the rest of his life making up for this long, unbearable separation from her.
Sometimes, on a rare night that was quiet, he imagined that she had borne him a child, and the thought warmed his heart. War was cold, without mercy and bloody as hell. The thought of having created a life with her, either before he left or in the future, filled him with a renewed purpose to survive.
Since he had already committed himself to the Confederacy, he had done his best to serve the Confederate cause well in the years of the war; he had remained steadfast in his commitment all the way to the end and even a bit beyond. Now, he was committed to Louise, for the rest of their lives.
Again, he turned on the hard ground, listening to the rain drops pummel the top of his crude shelter. His heart beat pounded within his chest and the guilt of leaving her alone for so long overwhelmed him.
Kid assumed she was still living with Rachel and Teaspoon, and he had found a certain amount of solace knowing Lou was in their trusted care. ‘If only I had never…’ - he stopped the thought in mid-sentence. He could not change the past, but only look toward the future.
Daily, Kid had prayed for his wife and friends. He had found religion, so to speak, on the battlefield. Nothing like an organized church, but an abiding relationship with the same Lord his mother had tried to teach him about as a child. Kid’s beatings at the hands of his father had made him numb to his mother’s beliefs as a child, but war had changed that. He found himself remembering and embracing her Bible teachings. If he had not had God to turn to during these last years behind him, Kid didn’t know how he would have dealt with the terror and horrors around him every day. Finally, saying a prayer for his dear wife, Kid fell asleep.
The next morning dawned bright and golden. Kid woke up with a smile on his face. Today, he would see Lou.
In a matter of minutes, he was back on the trail; Kid’s breakfast consisted of tough beef jerky as he rode on the back of his horse, but he was in too big of a hurry to cook a hardier meal.
The rest of his trip was surprisingly fast and he was soon seeing familiar scenery all around. He began to smile and hum “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” Boys on both sides of the war had embraced the stirring song and Kid was no different.
Within hours, he was approaching the homestead. He reined his horse in quickly when he saw a womanly figure in the distance. ‘Could it be her already?,’ he wondered. ‘Could I be this blessed?’
With a triumphant roar, he urged his horse forward. The closer Kid approached, the clearer the lone figure became. She was walking toward a large oak tree, a tree he remembered well. Kid could see dark auburn hair swept up on top of her head, the long slender neck and her graceful carriage.
“Lou!” he began shouting. “Louise McCloud!”
A startled pair of luminous brown eyes jerked toward the sound of the familiar voice. She turned white and looked stricken.
Kid got close enough to dismount and run toward her. He crushed her within his powerful embrace; he never intended to let go.
“Louise, my darling Lou, I am home, at last,” he mumbled the words into her hair, placing kisses on her head.”
“God, I have missed you; I love you,” he groaned. His heartfelt confession was met with her fainting in his arms.
“Lou,” he cried, as he lay her down carefully across his lap, easing them onto the soft green grass. ‘I never expected the shock to be this great,’ he worried.
After some moments, she began to stir and Kid’s relief was visible. He softly caressed her dear face, a face he remembered better than his own. Kid watched as her brown eyes fluttered open, wide and wondering, staring at him. Louise clenched them shut again. Then, she opened them quickly, as if to see if Kid’s specter would disappear. She felt his warm, strong arms on her body and she shook her head, trying to wake from the dream.
“Louise, my darling, please say something,” Kid urged.
Tears formed in her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. She swallowed with effort.
“I came back to you, just like I promised,” he told her.
She shook her head and jumped out of his lap.
“How could you?” she demanded, furiously. She shoved at his chest, so near her own.
“Oh Louise, I’m so sorry, about everything; let me,…” Kid began, but Lou wasn’t listening.
She slapped him with full force and his head jerked to the side. Tears filled his eyes for causing her this much pain. He had so much to atone for, to make up to this wonderful woman.
Jumping to her feet, she rushed over to his horse. She mounted effortlessly in one swift movement. With only a passing glance at Kid, Lou pushed the horse into a full gallop, back toward her home. Her coloring was even paler than when she had first seen Kid and shock was just setting in.
Louise rode fast into the yard. A startled Rachel rushed onto the porch.
“Goodness gracious Lou, what is wrong? And who’s horse is that?” Rachel demanded.
Lou just shook her head vehemently. Rachel immediately noticed she looked ill and became very concerned.
“Honey, what is it?” Rachel asked, as Lou brushed past her into the house.
Lou stopped abruptly, turning around. “Where’s Teaspoon and Jimmy?”
“Why, they’re still in town I would imagine. Honey, tell me what is going on.”
Lou ignored the question. Looking nauseated, she rushed up the stairs.
Annabelle, who had been playing in the main room, toddled toward the front door. Rachel automatically bent to pick her up as Lou slammed the door to her room. Rachel thought she heard Louise retching into the chamber pot, but she wasn’t sure.
“Ray-chul?” Annabelle patted her face to get her attention, but Rachel was staring up the stairs.
“Way-chul?!” the small whiny voice became insistent.
“Yes darling?” Rachel turned her attention to the two year old in her arms.
Annabelle pointed to the stairs, her chubby finger straight out. “Mommy?”
Rachel patted her softly. “Mommy isn’t feeling well honey, but she’ll be fine soon, I’m sure.”
“Hello?” a voice called from the yard. Rachel rushed back to the door. She almost dropped Annabelle when she saw Kid walking into the yard, toward the house.
He grinned seeing Rachel’s familiar face. He noted the beautiful blonde headed girl in her arms and wondered who Rachel had married.
“Rachel, it’s so good to see you,” he enthused. He jumped on the porch and grasped her in a bear hug. “And you are just precious dumpling,” he touched Annabelle’s chin.
“Is she yours Rachel?” Kid inquired.
Then, without hearing Rachel’s soft denial, he forged ahead. “It is SO good to be home, though I have a lot of mending to do with Lou.”
Rachel’s ears began to ring. Now she knew what was wrong with Lou. She heard Teaspoon and Jimmy riding into the yard.
Kid turned, beaming at his old friends, Teaspoon and Jimmy.
Annabelle let out a squeal. “Daddy!”
Jimmy was giving Kid a hard look, but his daughter’s enthusiastic greeting garnered his complete attention for a moment, as he scooped her into his arms.
“Hello pudding,” Jimmy said softly as he hugged Annabelle tight.
“What is going on here?” Kid demanded. “This isn’t exactly the welcoming greeting that I expected after four long years.”
Teaspoon and Rachel looked at each other anxiously. Jimmy just stared at Kid.
Kid was irritated and confused. He looked at the three around him completely perplexed. When no one answered him, he decided to not waste his time on them anymore.
“If ya’ll won’t talk to me, could you tell me where Lou is? She took my horse and road off – I see the horse is here, so I know Lou is around, somewhere. I think I gave my wife a big shock,” Kid laughed to ease the tension, but no one was responding.
Finally, Jimmy’s low voice rumbled between them. “Kid, we have a problem.”
“What do you mean Jimmy?” Kid asked.
“Well, you see Kid, Lou ain’t your wife no more -- she’s mine.”
Chapter 2
A Teaspoon of Advice: “A little known secret son: a woman is invariably right.”
Four Years Earlier…
They had been married nearly two months. The time had been rife with war tension, friends leaving for battle and an anger building between the young couple.
“Dammit Kid, I, at least, have the right to know your name! I don’t even know how to introduce myself,” Lou stomped her foot for effect. She was actually angry over something else, but this was a safe topic to fuss about.
“I’ve told you Lou, I’m not ever telling you my last name. When I left Virginia, I promised myself I wouldn’t take a single thing from my Pa, and that included his name. I did tell you my first name,” Kid defended himself.
“I refuse to keep being called Mrs. Kid,” Lou shouted.
Kid pursed his lips thoughtfully and moved to put his arm around her. “Why don’t we go by McCloud?” he offered.
Lou looked at him askance, sideways. “You’d take my name Kid? Aren’t you worried about the town laughing at you taking your wife’s name?’“
“That don’t worry me much Lou; I just want to make you happy.”
“Kid McCloud,” Lou tested the name. “I like it, but why don’t we start calling you Ga…”
Kid put his finger over her lips, “Now Lou, you promised me you wouldn’t ever call me that when I told you.”
Lou finally smiled a little, “Okay Kid,” she said, stressing the second word.
“That’s better,” Kid grinned, cupping her chin in his palm, turning her face toward his own. “I don’t want to leave with us fighting.”
Lou immediately turned bitter again. “I don’t want you to leave at all.” Her face was mutinous and stubborn as she stared into his eyes.
“Lou,” Kid drawled, “we’ve been over this a hundred times. I told you a long time ago, before we ever married, that if it came to war, I’d want to go back and defend Virginia.”
“Kid, why couldn’t you have left your love of that piece of dirt when you left your Pa ?”
asked Lou, frustrated.
Kid sighed heavily. This argument had been going on for two months and was always the same between them.
“You know I love you and I promise, I’m coming back.”
“You can’t make a promise like that Kid; it’s a war.“
Kid thought of a new tactic. “You didn’t get upset with Cody for signing up.”
“I ain’t married to Cody!” she yelled. Lou shrugged off Kid’s arm and stood, putting a little distance between them. She felt so betrayed by her new husband. “Besides,” she continued, “he’s mainly scouting for the Army here in the west. You are heading right into the middle of it!”
“Lou, “ Kid began, but she interrupted.
“Kid, I’m telling you, if you leave for Virginia, things won’t ever be the same between us.” Lou stated bluntly.
“What do you mean? Are you saying you ain’t gonna wait on me?“ Kid was incredulous.
“Of course not,” Lou explained in a raised voice. “I’m committed to this marriage, to you.” Lou’s tone obviously implied that she didn’t think Kid had the same commitment. She continued, “When you come back, we aren’t going to be the same people Kid. War is going to change you just like being alone is going to change me.”
“I’m not leaving you all alone Lou; Rachel and Teaspoon will be here.”
“They aren’t you, Kid,” Lou stressed. “You are my husband. Why did you ever marry me if you only intended to turn around and leave me?” The anger in her voice was fast turning to hurt. She was on the verge of tears.
Lou’s heart was breaking. She loved Kid and hated his leaving for the war. She would also hate it if he left now, only remembering her angrily harping at his decision. Lou was torn between offering her unconditional love to her husband and fighting him until the last moment on this.
Tears filled Kid’s eyes in response to her anguish. ‘God, how he loved this woman,’ he thought.
“Lou, darling, I wouldn’t be the man you know and love if I walked away from this war, something that I feel responsible for and a cause that I feel is right,” his words begged her to understand.
Lou saw his tears and her fingers wiped gently beneath his eyes. The fight went out of her and she deflated under his loving gaze. He placed his hands on both of her cheeks and bent to kiss her lips softly. He could taste her tears and he felt his own mingle with them.
They kissed like it was their last chance. The passion built between them until they found themselves naked in a clean, nearby barn stall.
“I love you,” they both repeated, over and over.
The next day, Kid left for Virginia. A week later, Lou headed for the doctor. She was expecting their first child.
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