Forget Me Not

Author: Laura H
Synopsis: Pairing: CJ/Toby. Sequel to "One Memorable Day". CJ deals
with her father's struggle with Alzheimers, whilst news of Toby and
CJ's relationship gets out.
Rating: A

Part 1

Josh appears at CJ's office door on the following Monday morning
after the State Dinner.

CJ looks up from her reading material and notices Josh. " Hey, what's
up?"

Josh sighs. " I, uh, wanted to apologize for Saturday morning."

CJ smiles at the memory of only 48 hours ago. The next morning after
the night she and Toby had made love was a pleasant and even humorous
one for CJ. Instead of being able to peacefully wake up entwined in
each other, CJ and Toby had been quickly awoken by a rapid knocking
on her bed room door....

"CJ, CJ, you in there?" A voice calls from the other side of the door.

CJ groans, not recognizing the voice.

Josh gives up knocking and just opens the door. When he walks into
CJ's room he is absolutely shocked to see an apparently nude CJ
curled up in the arms of a nude Toby. Josh literally screams and
covers his eyes with his hand.

At this point, both CJ and Toby have awaken and turned to look at the
door. CJ pulls the sheets higher up over herself and Toby.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Toby asks Josh, rubbing the sleep
out of his eyes.

Josh is facing the door, deliberately not looking at the couple. "I,
I, I came to see if CJ was here. She, uh, you, uh, didn't show up
this morning and there was no answer when Carol called here several
times. " Josh attempts to explain the awkward situation.

CJ laughs, sitting up in bed." We were sleeping, Josh. We must not
have heard the phone ring. Sorry. Hey, what time is it, anyway?" CJ
glances at her nightstand and the alarm clock sitting on it: 12.30. "
Shit!" CJ exclaims. "Looks like our fun is over." She says, smiling
at Toby to comfort him in his state of embarrassment.

Toby looks at Josh who is looking ridiculous facing the door." Josh,
you can turn around and talk to us like human beings."

"Yeah, Josh. We're completely covered. " CJ smiles, widely, thinking
that the whole situation was more humorous than embarrassing.

Josh slowly turns around and uncovers his eyes." So, nice night?
Sorry I spoiled the ending." He seemed genuinely apologetic.

CJ shrugs. "No big deal. But, we really have to get to work now."

Josh nods, looking from CJ to Toby, just trying to comprehend exactly
what he saw. In the brief second he had seen them, they had appeared
very relaxed and comfortable-very intimate. Not something he would
have imagined. In fact, seeing them together at all was not how he
had anticipated starting his day." So, is anyone going to explain why
the two of you are in bed together? Or, more importantly, why you're
obviously keeping whatever kind of relationship you have a secret
from all of us?"

CJ looks at Toby, no amusement in her eyes this time.

"We, uh, we're...together, now. That is, I,I love CJ. We're, uh..."
Toby smiles at CJ and notices the sleep-induced blush on her cheeks.
He was temporarily distracted as the memories of the previous night
came flashing through his brain. He took CJ's hands in his. "We're in
love."

Josh pinches the flesh of skin on the bridge of his nose. "Man, I
should have taken that coffee this morning."

CJ begins, slowly. " The truth is that this is new for both of us and
we'd appreciate as much privacy as possible."

"Yes, so please, no word of this to anyone." Toby says calmly.

Josh rolls his eyes and smiles. "Yeah, because I'm really going to go
back to the West Wing and tell everybody that I walked in on Toby and
CJ sleeping together."

CJ sighs, softly. " I'm sorry, Josh. I know you must have a lot of
questions and..."

Josh interrupts her. "It's, it's fine. Look, uh, I better get back.
No need to go to Toby's apartment now. I'll, uh, see you at the
office."

CJ lets out a small breath. " Thanks for looking out for me, Josh."

Josh shrugs, placing his hand on the door knob. " No problem. I
didn't want Leo to be pissed at you guys for being late. Anyway,
sorry for walking in on you. At least now I know why you guys rushed
home so early last night." He winks and goes to leave.

"Wait, Josh, how did you get in here, anyway?" Toby suddenly wonders.

"CJ's landlord remembered me from another time I was over here and
let me in." Josh explains, quickly.

And that was how it happened. How the first person found out about
their relationship. After Josh left, Toby and CJ didn't lie around
cuddling like they would have liked to. They got up and went to work.
But there was one thing that CJ just couldn't get out of her head for
the remainder of the day: Toby had told her he loved her. She had
wanted to discuss it, maybe even convince him that he needed to think
more about how he really felt about her before coming to that
conclusion. She knew what they had together was irreplaceable, and
that after last night there was no way she could live without him,
but it was just too early to be talking about love. Maybe things had
never been casual for them. Maybe they were destined to have been
deprived for all the previous years and then suddenly receive
everything they had ever wanted-Each other. She knew they both knew
this wasn't casual, but was it love?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"CJ." Josh's voice brought CJ back from reminiscing.

She shakes her head, snapping out of the daze. "Yes?"

"I said I apologize." Josh looks at her, expectantly.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Okay, thanks, Josh. But it's alright. No harm done."

"Speak for yourself. Now I've got this image of you and Toby together
imprinted permanently." Josh half snorts.




"Josh, I'm sorry, but it was an accident. Can we please just drop
it?" CJ didn't think this was so amusing anymore.

Josh sighs. " Okay, sorry. I better get back, anyway. Donna's taking
pleasure in teasing Toby about Team US hockey losing this weekend.
It's kind of amusing, actually. Toby gets all pissed and Donna starts
to sing Paul Brandt's `Team Canada Song' . You should come watch."

CJ looks up and rolls her eyes. " I swear, sometimes I wonder if
we're really leading a country here"

Josh shrugs. " It's all in fun, CJ. I think Toby thinks it's
funny ,too."

"Well, if you come between Toby and his sports." She smiles. " Never
mind, get out of here. I`ve got a Press gaggle in ten minutes."

Josh smiles and leaves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby walks up to Donna in her "office.", later that day. " Is Josh
back, yet?" He asks emotionlessly.

Donna smiles, picking up a couple of folders from a near by surface.
She starts to sing the words to Team Canada Song ,out of tune and
monotone. "Strong and free, led by our fearless hero Gretzsky. He
should be the Prime Minister if you ask me. Oh, thank you Team
Canada.."

Toby glares. " Donna…" He says strictly. "If you don't stop singing
that God forsaken song…"

Donna continues, not looking at Toby. " He shoots he scores and all
of Canada roars from the warmth of our igloos." She brushes past Toby
and walks into Josh's office, Toby on her trail.

"Donna! It was two years ago, for Goodness' sake. You can stop
rubbing it in. I know Canada beat us in hockey at the Olympics."
Toby's getting frustrated.

Donna smiles as she sets something on Josh's desk while continuing
her obnoxious singing. " Sorry, eh? We put the hurt on you Team USA.
And showed the whole world that it's still our game. Oh, three cheers
for Team Canada. You slide, you glide. Skate over any line, red or
white or blue." She exits Josh's office.

Toby follows, he looks expectantly at the random people passing by in
the hallway. " This is the Whitehouse, will somebody get me a large
gun of some kind?" He calls to no one in particular.

Donna enters her office and peacefully goes back to her previous
work. "And what makes it nice is that we did it twice, `cause our
women beat you tooooo!" She sings loudly as Toby storms off. She
smiles, thinking how wonderful it is that she worked with the people
she did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby walks into CJ's office later that night. He sighs, drops his
briefcase on the floor and rests in the doorframe. " Hey," He smiles
widely, watching the women he loves setting down the phone after what
must have been a stressful call.

CJ sighs dramatically and sits down in her chair. " Hey, what you up
to?" She goes right back to checking something on her computer.

"Well, it's 6.30, I was thinking about heading out of here.
Naturally, I assumed you'd join me."

CJ looks at Toby. " I don't know if we should be leaving together
every night. People are starting to catch on."

Toby shrugs. " We told them you were staying with me until you found
a new place. No one knows anything different except Josh, and he's
been away at meetings all day. "

"I just don't know, Toby. I honestly think people are starting to
wonder. Anyway, heard you and Donna were having a bit of a tiff this
morning." She smiles widely.

Toby rolls his eyes as he walks to CJ`s desk. " She's teasing me
because my team lost this weekend. She's been constantly reminding
me of the little incident that happened at the Olympics. All in all,
I think for Donna's next birthday we should all pitch in and get her
voice lessons. She needs them. Either that or something to
permanently keep her mouth shut." Toby acted dry, but CJ smiled. He
wasn't really being mean.

CJ laughs. " I'm sure it was all in fun. Sometimes we need a few
jokes around here, just as long as it doesn't interfere with
productivity. And speaking of birthdays, you still haven't given me
any suggestions for yours."

"She had to pick on me. Me? Josh likes hockey. Leo likes hockey. That
guy that guards the Oval office likes hockey. Hell, the President
likes hockey. Why me?" Apparently Toby was thinking about their
previous conversation topic.

CJ rolls her eyes. " Toby, give it up. She was just having a little
fun. You know things have been a little edgy since last weekend,
she's probably just as upset as we are."

Toby shakes his head, coming out of a daze. " Yeah, you're right.
Anyway, you ready to go home, now?"

CJ nods, thinking how nice it was to hear Toby refer to his place as
home. Not that he meant that it was her home too, just that it was
nice. She knew it would be hard when she finally did find a place and
she wouldn't have an excuse to go home with him. " Yeah, I guess we
haven't had much time along since Friday night, save for moving some
of my stuff to your apartment."

Toby nods. " Well, maybe tonight will be different. You want to go
out for dinner?"

CJ stands and he can see a displeasured look on her. " Oh, Toby, not
tonight. I'm just too tied. Can we just go home and find something to
eat?"

"Yeah, I guess. I just really wanted us to go out on a real date."
Toby says honestly.

"What, the State Dinner was a real date. Anyway, I don't know if we
should be dating publicly yet. Maybe eventually, but not now." CJ
stands up, gathering her stuff. " It could be kinda fun sneaking
around, don't you think?"

Toby shakes his head, leading CJ out of the office. " No, I want to
be able to take you out and indulge you without having to worry about
other people."

CJ turns around and smiles warmly. " We'll be able to do that one
day, I promise. Now, let's go home and enjoy an indulgent night
together."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2

About two hours later, Toby and CJ are back at his apartment, done
dinner and relaxing on the couch. CJ has opted for wearing her own
pajamas and they're sitting watching t.v . CJ picks the converter off
the coffee table and shuts the t.v off.

Toby turns to her. " What'd you do that for?"

CJ smiles coyly before proceeding to climb on top of Toby. She cups
the sides of his face before drawing him into her. Toby lies back and
pulls CJ with him, continuing to pick up the pace.

Only a few seconds into their kiss, the phone rings .

Toby pulls his lips away from CJ's. "Shit."

A little out of breath, CJ shrugs and leans back into Toby. " Let the
machine get it." She concludes as they continue to make out.

But the sound of the ringing was distracting, and as soon as CJ
recognizes the sound of the strained voice attempting to leave a
message, she jumps away from Toby and picks up the phone.

Toby groans, letting his arms fall back to his side. He watches CJ
carefully as she answers the phone.

CJ sits back on the couch. " Yes, daddy, it's me… Yes, I'm here, this
is Claudia… I know, I know. …Yes, this is not my home number… I know
that… Daddy…" She turns to look at Toby. " I'm staying at a friend's,
daddy… Yes, I told you that. I called you yesterday and gave you this
this number to reach me at… Yes, it was very good of you to remember
to call it." She smiles, turning to Toby.

Toby looks at CJ. He knew that she wanted to be able to be with her
father so much. The first thing she had done when she moved in with
him was call her father to give him his number. She hadn't wanted her
father to worry about her if she didn't answer the phone at her
apartment. He watches as her face drops, and wonders what's wrong.

"Yes… I know, daddy. I miss you, too."

Toby can see a tiny tear forming in her right eye. Another thing he
knew was that she had a real soft spot for her elderly father. He
wants to reach out and hold her, but he simply takes her hand. She
doesn't appear to notice.

CJ continues, listening carefully to her father's strained voice. "
Daddy, I can't just come see you any time I want to. I, I have to
work…. I work at the Whitehouse, daddy, you know that…. No, I have to
work weekends, too…. I know you think that's wrong to do…Well, why
don't you get the nurse to do that for you?…No, daddy, she isn't
stealing your underwear… Daddy, if you need somebody there now, why
don't you call Donnie?… Yes, maybe he'll come… I know you want me to
come, but I can't right now… Yes, maybe soon…. I know, daddy. I miss
you, too." She felt like a broken record. She had this same
conversation with her father a dozen times. She was too far way, he'd
say. " Okay, daddy… Good night. Sweet dreams…. I love you, too. Bye
for now."

CJ takes a second to set the phone down. She's solemn and silent.

When she leans back into the couch after setting the receiver down,
Toby gathers her into his arms. CJ's expression hasn't changed. Every
so often a tear would fall, leaving a slick trail down her cheek.

"You okay?" Toby asks, brushing a lock of hair away from her face.

CJ nods, sighs, and collects herself, moving out of Toby's embrace. "
He, he just wants me there. He's lonely. I told him to call my
brother, Donnie, but they're just not as close. He wants me to come
see him, soon." To her, it seemed futile. After everything that had
been going on, how could she ever fit a trip to Ohio on her agenda?

"Well, why don't we take a trip to Ohio this weekend?" Toby asks,
thinking that it was simple. If she wanted to see her father, which
he knew she did, why couldn't she just take some time off work?

CJ looks at Toby like he's crazy. " You want us to go to Ohio?"

Toby shrugs. " Sure, why not? We could make a weekend out of it."

CJ shakes her head. " Toby, it just won't work. I've taken enough
time off work, lately. Plus, I don't think I'm exactly on Leo's list
of fabulous employees right now."

"To hell with him. CJ…" Toby begins

"No, Toby. Look, I'll, uh, think of something." CJ stands up and
starts to head toward the bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Toby asks, following her and knowing exactly
where she was headed.

CJ turns around. " I'm sorry, Toby, but suddenly I don't feel like
having a romantic night, now." She enters the dark bedroom and climbs
into Toby's bed, savouring the familiarity. She pulls the dark green
sheets up to her neck and closes her eyes.

Toby crawls in beside her on the other opposite side of the bed. He
bends down to kiss her cheek and rest his hand gently against her
face.

CJ curls into the softness of Toby's sweater. She buries her head in
his chest and wraps her arms around his midsection.

"Don't worry, baby. We're going to sort this out. We'll find a way to
put both you and your father's minds at ease." Toby soothes, rubbing
his hands up and down her back.

CJ opens her eyes. " I can never really be at ease. Not when he's so
far away, sick and lonely. I know we've sort of drifted away over the
years, but he's always been the one constant in my life. Now, now
it's like I don't even know him anymore-he doesn't even know me. A
couple of weeks ago he was going on and on asking me where my mother
had gone. He honestly thought my mother was still alive. And, and,
Toby, it was so hard. It was so hard to explain. It was like I was
telling him for the first time. That's the worst thing about
Alzheimers, it destroys person's personality, they're ability to
remember and rationalize. I sometimes feel like I'm his parent." CJ
hadn't stopped holding onto Toby.

Toby ran his fingers through he dark hair. " I know, I know." He
begins to pull loose and sit up. " I'm going to go clean up the
kitchen and come right back. Why don't you get ready for bed?"

CJ nods and stares at the bed.
Toby places his hands on the side of CJ's face and kisses her
forehead. " We'll think of something, I promise. It won't always feel
this way."

CJ sighs. " Yeah, I'm fine, anyway. You need any help?"

Toby shakes his head, climbing off the bed. " No, you just get ready.
I'll come in in a minute."

I have to do something, Toby thinks to himself. This affects her more
than she'd ever let on. Just, what can I do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 3

"I'm sorry, Toby, what were you saying?" Leo asks, obviously
uninterested as he leafs through some files on his desk.

Toby kind of paces the room. " I said that I was wondering if it
would be possible for CJ and I to have this coming weekend off." He
stops in front of Leo's desk.

Leo stops what he's doing and stares Toby directly in the eyes. "
You've got to be kidding me."

Toby takes in a deep breath, looking the Chief of Staff back in the
eyes. " Unfortunately, no."

"Toby, you can not seriously be asking me to give you yet another
break." Leo apparently thought he was joking, because he forgets
about Toby and goes back to his work.

It was the next morning, and Toby had come to Leo's office for one
purpose.

"It's not for me, Leo. It's for CJ. You see, her father is sick and
stuck in a nursing home in Ohio. It's been months since she's seen
him and she misses him greatly."

When Leo comes back to look at Toby, Toby continues.

" She, she got a phone call from her father last night. He really
wanted to see her, and had to tell him that she couldn't see him
right now. I, I thought maybe it'd be nice for her to take a couple
days and go see him. She cares for him so much and I think she's
really upset over not being close to him." Toby was being open and
honest. He also didn't want it to appear like he had a relationship
other than casual with her. There weren't many times when they came
to see Leo about anything personal, but Toby hoped he'd have some
compassion. CJ needed this, and it was worth confronting Leo about.

Leo sighs, sitting down in his chair. " She really wants this, does
she?"

Toby nods. " Yes."

"Okay, then why do you want the weekend off?" Leo asks, snapping out
of the shock that he had temporarily (but not noticeably) been in
when Toby had talked about CJ and her father.

Toby takes another deep breath. " I, I thought I'd go with her. You
know, so she isn't driving up there alone." He rests his hand on the
edge of Leo's desk.

"Well, that's very kind of you, but I don't think so. We're over
stressed and under staffed as it is, we need you guys. CJ will have
to wait until it's a little more convenient."

"He may be dead by then." Toby raises his voice. "Look, Leo, you, you
didn't see the look in her eyes last night. He's very sick, and he
wants his daughter. I'm sure if it were you, you'd want Mallory to
visit you." Toby makes it more personal by putting Leo's daughter in
CJ's position.

Leo is silent. Eventually he nods his head. "Fine, you can go. But
there better not be one impending task sitting on either of your
desks Thursday evening or you're staying here. Get all the work you
have done by Thursday, and you can go."

Toby almost smiles. " Okay, great, thanks."

CJ walks into Leo's office, reading something in a folder she's
carrying. She doesn't look up or take her eyes off the paper. Leo and
Toby look at her expectantly.

"Can I help you?" Leo asks, wondering what had CJ in a daze.

CJ looks up from the folder as if she hadn't realized they were
there. " Oh, uh, yeah. Here's that memo on the new treaty for you to
look over." CJ composes herself and walks over to hand it to Leo.

Leo takes the folder and nods. "Alright, thanks. Oh, and you have my
permission to take a little vacation this weekend." He begins to read
the memo.

CJ stares. " I beg your pardon?"

Toby steps to CJ and takes her arm. " Uh, come on, I need you for a
sec'. See you later, Leo."

Leo merely nods, not looking up from the interesting memo.

Toby leads a confused CJ out of Leo's office.

"What was he talking about, a vacation?" CJ asks when they're safely
out of Margaret's ear shot.

Toby lets go of CJ's arms. " I, uh, I asked Leo if we could have the
weekend off to go visit your father. So, we don't have to come in
Friday or Saturday.

"Oh, please tell me you didn't. Oh, Toby, why did you do that? I told
you it couldn't happen." CJ exhales and physically shrinks.

"But, it did happen." Toby defends. " I thought you'd be happy. You
get to see your father."

CJ shakes her head. " But, I really didn't want to ask Leo for
another favour. Did, did you say we were both going?" CJ begins to
head back to her office.

"Yeah."

"Why are you going?" CJ asks as they turn a corner.

" I thought I'd enjoy a weekend off. Plus, I didn't want to be
without you for three days." Toby smiles warmly, something CJ was
growing way too fond of. The reason Toby gave was not why he wanted
to go. He just didn't want CJ to be alone. He knew that seeing her
father would evoke some new emotions in her, and he wanted to be
there to comfort her. Plus, it was probably a good idea to get on her
father's good side, anyway, considering they were now a couple.

CJ turns around to quickly look at Toby before she silently sighs. "
I just don't know, Toby. I don't think we should be asking for this
time off."

"Well, it's done now. " Toby offers.

They approach CJ's office and she grabs a folder from Carol on the
way in. CJ walks behind her desk and slumps into her chair. "Okay,
well, if we're going to do this, I better get working."

" Yeah, and Josh and I have to meet with one of the California
senators, I've just forgotten his name. Hey, do you know we've
dropped six percent since the President's heart attack?"

CJ puts on her glasses and picks up a pen. " Yeah, I know. The people
don't like the idea of him running the country from the Residence,
under all that medication." CJ sighs like she's heard it a hundred
times. She begins to read something from the folder Carol handed her.

"Well, he's still doing fine. He'll be back in the office, soon.
Meanwhile, we're handling it. Anyway, I better get going because
after the meeting I've got to interview this new guy for Deputy
Communications Director."

CJ nods and looks up from her reading. " Okay. And Toby, I appreciate
your thoughtfulness in getting me Friday and Saturday off, but
please, next time ask me first if I want the time off. Right now is
not a good time for the two of us to be missing work. I know Josh
won't care, but I really hate asking Leo for this time off."

Toby nods. " But really, how much vacation time have you taken
lately? It'll be okay for two days. We'll be back Monday."

"Who's going to give the briefing?" CJ suddenly wonders.

Toby shrugs. " Maybe Josh. Although, the last time he gave a briefing
it didn't go over so well. Either way, don't worry about it,
Friday's `Take out the trash' day."

CJ smiles, shaking her head affectionately at Toby. " Okay, you
really sure you want to come?"

"Positive." Toby smiles back. It had gone over well, and now he could
say that he was finally doing something nice for CJ.

Part 4

"Okay, just keep in mind that he's old and the disease tends to make
him forget things. So, he may repeat a lot of things." CJ was just
warning Toby before he saw her father.

They continued down the long hallway in the nursing home, looking for
her father's room.

"I know. I understand it all, CJ." Toby assures her.

CJ sighs and stops in front of her father's room. " I know you do.
He, he just hasn't been the same since my step-mother died and we had
to move him into this place. I always feel guilty, but none of us can
ever see him. Donnie tries hard, but he works shift, and even though
he's close, he can't always come and visit Daddy. And, well, Art's in
D.C, too, so it's almost as hard for him to get here as it is for me."

Toby puts an arm around CJ's shoulder. " I know, and don't feel
guilty. You're here now, so let's just go in."

CJ tries the door and is surprised to see it open. She steps inside
and sees her father sitting on the edge of his bed, watching
television. Toby follows her inside and CJ smiles.

Tal Cregg turns around and his eyes light up when he sees his
daughter. " Claudia, what are you doing here?" He stands up and
smiles, confusedly.

CJ steps more into the room to allow Toby to stand beside her. " I
came to see you, Daddy. I called and told you I'd be coming,
remember?" She shifts her purse on her shoulder.

Tal nods, but it is obvious he is still confused. " Yes, yes, of
course. Come in. It's so good to see you." He walks over and wraps
his long arms around his only daughter.

Toby watches the two with pride and happiness. Seeing them together
reminded him of how much CJ was like her father. She had obviously
gotten her height and brains from him.

"It's good to see you, too, Daddy. You look good." She takes his
hands in hers after they break off. She smiles, noticing that for an
over 70 year-old, he looked remarkably handsome, and even the disease
couldn't erase the look of sophistication he wore.

Tal blushes, slightly, and leads CJ away from the door. " You do too,
sweetheart. You look a little tired, but not quite as stressed as I
remember." He turns the t.v off.

CJ rolls her eyes, slightly. "It's just been a long day."

"You seem to get taller every time I see you. You can't possibly
still be growing, right?" Tal asks, seemingly honest.

CJ rolls her eyes. " No, Daddy, I haven't grown in about twenty-five
years."

Tal shrugs. " Last year at your 30th birthday your Aunt Clair said
to me that one day you were going to surpass me."

CJ sighs, not wanting to embarrass her father. " I'm 43, Daddy."

"Oh, that's right. Your mother used to always tell me I was bad with
numbers."

Tal turns to look at Toby who is standing close to the door,
watching CJ and her father and taking in the tiny room. Tal steps
away from CJ and extends his hand to Toby. " Tal Cregg." He
introduces himself in a professional manner.

Toby steps forward and shakes the man's hand. "Toby Zieglar."

"Oh, I know you." Tal smiles as he releases Toby's hand. " I've seen
and read about you before. You do good work."

Toby smiles in genuine surprise at the compliment. " Well, thank you,
sir."

CJ smiles at the two, glad that they were already getting along
well. "So, Daddy," CJ puts her hands on her father's shoulders
affectionately and guides him to sit down on the bed. " How are you
feeling?"

Tal shrugs. " Fine, I suppose. I just took all my medication and I
was just about to sit down and watch my show before I go to bed."

CJ thinks about a time where her father's day wasn't quite so planned
and boring. The man sitting here beside her may not have changed much
appearance wise (with the exception of his significant weight loss),
but his mind was slowly being eaten away at by the disease he had
been diagnosed with years ago. Ever since her father had been
diagnosed with Alzheimers, it seemed that every aspect of his health
was being affected. He had a bad heart, high blood pressure, diabetes
and an overactive thyroid.

CJ walks the few feet to sit on the couch that was seated along the
wall opposite the front door. "Well, we won't keep you long, then."
CJ suggests, motioning for Toby to sit on the couch beside her.

Tal shrugs. " I'll be fine. So, how's work? You still at that PR
place in California, right?" He reaches for his robe that was lying
on the pillow on his bed and puts it on over his flannel pajamas.

Even though CJ knew her father had a bad memory, she was still a
little affected by his last question. "Umm, no Daddy, I was fired
years ago."

Tal looks at CJ and cocks his head to one side. " Really? Well, then
where do you work now?"

CJ looks to Toby for a second before answering her father. How was it
that he could remember reading about Toby, but he couldn't remember
that she worked for the President of his country. " I,I work at the
Whitehouse, Daddy. I work for the President."

Tal nods his head. " Right. President Bush?"

CJ takes a deep breath after glancing at Toby. " No, Daddy, Bush has
been out office for many years. I work for the current President,
President Bartlet."

"Right, right, of course. He's a good man." Tal states with
conviction.

CJ sighs and leans into the old couch.
Toby shifts uncomfortably. " Uh, may I use your restroom?"

"Yes, it's the only other door in this room." He points over his
shoulder to the bathroom door.

Toby excuses himself and heads to the bathroom.

Once he hears the door shut, Tal asks CJ a question. " So, you work
with this Toby guy?"

CJ nods, finding it difficult to deal with her father's
absentmindedness. She just wished he could be back to normal. She
hated this. It was always so difficult. She had assumed that seeing
her would help his memory and bring him more back to the present, but
it hadn't.

Tal looks carefully at his daughter. " Why'd you bring him?"

CJ looks up from staring at the beige couch. She had always hated
her father's bland taste in future. Even though his room looked
comfortable and lived it, it also looked too clean and organized. "
For the company, I guess." CJ offers him. Truth be told, she didn't
even know why she had let Toby come along. Maybe she just needed the
support to deal with seeing her father again.

"Have you seen my slippers? I think that damn nurse stole them." Tal
suddenly says.

CJ shakes her head, affectionately, remembering that this was still
her father and that he loved her very much. " No, Daddy, I haven't.
And, I don't think the nurses here have stolen anything from you.
This is a very reputable facility."

"According to you. I hate this place."

CJ notices that her father wasn't lying-he was completely
serious. "Daddy…"

Tal shakes his head. "Never mind me. What's your relationship with
Toby?"

"Excuse me?" CJ whispers.

"Your relationship. He your boyfriend?" Tal asks.

CJ considers how to answer this question. " Sort of." She knew she
was being vague, but no matter how old she was, he was still her
overprotective father.

Tal pauses a moment. "Is he good to you?"

CJ has to smile at the embarrassed look on her father's face. " Yes,
he is."

"Are you going to get married?"

"I beg your pardon?" CJ's eyes shoot up. He had just re-met Toby, why
would assume they were going to get married.

Tal shrugs again. " You're my little girl, I was just checking. It's
my job to see that you're taken care of. I worry about you."
CJ smiles warmly and moves to sit beside her father on his bed ,and
wraps one arm around her father's neck. " Daddy, I'm fine, really."

"So, is this one the one?" He asks, using an uncharacteristic modern
phrase.

CJ pauses. " I think so." She smiles, just thinking about how
wonderful Toby was.

Tal smiles, too, watching his daughter's eyes shine . " I can see
that. So, how's his family? He Catholic?"

The light in her eyes immediately goes out. " No." She says,
regretfully.

"Christian?"

CJ shakes her head.

"Then, what is he?" Her father asks in all seriousness.

CJ moves back to her spot on the couch, delaying her response. "He's,
he's Jewish." CJ didn't have a problem with their religious
differences, but she knew her father would.

"Oh." Was all Tal could say.

Just then, Toby emerges from the bathroom. " Hey, what are we talking
about?" He smiles as he returns to his seat beside CJ.

"You." Tal says simply.

Toby looks from CJ to Tal. "All good, I hope." He smiles.

"No." CJ whispers, looking at the couch.

Toby watches her carefully until Tal interrupts his concerned
thought.

"Are you Jewish…uh, Toby?" For a second he had forgotten Toby's name.

Toby again looks from Tal to CJ, his eyes asking her whether or not
he should respond honestly. She looked away from him. "Uh, yes, yes,
sir.

Tal bites his bottom lip. " Claudia's Catholic, ya know."

Toby sits back, knowing where this was probably going. Her father was
a patriotic Catholic who probably wouldn't approve of his daughter
dating a Jewish man. " Yes, I am aware of that."

"Do you intend to marry her some day?" Tal asks, bluntly.

CJ sits up quickly. " Daddy…."

"It's okay." Toby places a hand gently on CJ's shoulder. " Well, sir,
we haven't really discussed that thus far. Perhaps in the future me
might…"

Tal cuts the younger man off. " Do you intend on marrying her?" He
repeats.

Toby takes a deep breath and looks into CJ's eyes. He takes her hand
in his and turns back to Tal. " Yes, sir, I guess I do."

CJ smiles warmly back at Toby. It was the first time either of them
had considered marriage. It seemed like such a far-fetched idea given
their ages and the fact that they weren't even dating publicly yet.

"How are you going to get married? Are you willing to convert?" Tal
asks.

CJ silently wishes her father wasn't bringing this up. Perhaps his
mind was sharp tonight.

Toby looks carefully at Tal. "Well, sir, I don't feel that would be
necessary. My Rabbi would gladly marry us in my church if we so
choose to get married, without either of us having to convert."

Tal appeared to be considering Toby's answer. " Really? But, if that
didn't work out, would you be willing to convert?"

" I don't believe that our religious differences ought to be problem,
but in the event that they are, yes, I would become Catholic if
that's what it took to be able to be with CJ."

Tal seemed satisfied. He yawns and sits back against the wall his bed
was parallel to.

Toby and CJ just watch him. CJ looks at Toby. " Maybe we better be
going." She suggests.

"You have a place to stay?" Tal asks as he closes his eyes.

"Yes, we have reservations at a hotel." CJ answers, standing up and
going to sit beside her father. "Can I get you anything before we
go?" She rubs her father's arm up and down.

Tal smiles and opens his eyes. " Your mother?"

CJ's heart aches at his sincerity. " I wish." Was all she could
whisper.

"I miss her." Tal says, falling back into that childish neediness. "
And I miss you too, honey. I want you here more often. I promise I
won't grill your boyfriend anymore if you come back."

CJ laughs softly, resting her head on her father's shoulder. "Okay,
I'll certainly try to do whatever I can. I'll come back tomorrow
morning, for sure."

Tal nods then looks at Toby watching the two of them. " Son, you ever
needed a woman?"

Toby smiles lightly. " Every day of my life."

Tal nods, satisfied with his answer. " We can't live without `em, can
we?"

"Most certainly not." Toby replies seriously. " Especially not this
one." He smiles at CJ.

"That's right. She's wonderful, isn't she? Spitting image of her
mother, too." He winks at CJ. " You'd probably be able to fit into
her wedding dress, too, honey. You're 33 years old, honey, I think
it's time you started thinking about things like that."

CJ sighs, sitting up, but not bothering to correct her father. It
didn't matter, he wouldn't remember in the morning , anyway.

"Don't go yet, sweets. I've missed you. Your brothers don't visit
me." Tal's back to being desperate.

CJ turns back to look at her father. " I'll come back tomorrow, I
promise. We've had a long drive and you need to get some sleep."

Tal nods, sitting up more. " I know. Toby, I'm sorry if I was hard on
you. But, this is my only daughter and I'm not going to be around
much longer. I just want to know that she's taken care of."

"She is, I assure you." Toby smiles.

CJ stands up and turns to face her father. " I'm fine Daddy, you
don't have to worry."

"But I do, darling. You know, when your mother died, she told me to
never take my eyes off the three of you. Guess I didn't really keep
that promise." He looks remorseful.

"Daddy…"

"No matter. I know you're a big, strong girl. Sure you may have a
stressful job and not enough time for your family, and I know I'm too
hard on you, but I know you're okay, and I only do it because I love
you." Tal stands up.

"I love you too, Daddy." CJ wraps her father in a tight hug. " Don't
worry, I think we're going to be seeing a lot more of each other in
the future. Can I do anything for you before you go to bed?"

Tal shakes his head. "No, go on. Have fun. You kids play safe, now.
Hey, Toby, you look after my little girl." He winks at Toby.

Toby places an arm around CJ. " I will , sir. We'll see you tomorrow,
then."

"Take care." Tal shakes Toby's hand. Then he turns and pecks CJ on
the cheek.

"See you in the morning, Daddy. Sleep tight." She reaches for the
door handle.

"You, too." Tal says, holding back tears. "Bye…"

Toby and CJ step into the hall. CJ lets out a loud sigh.

"Glad we did that?" Toby asks, reaching for her hand.

CJ nods, even though she isn't sure. Seeing him again made her miss
him more. How could she tell Toby that right now she was considering
quitting her job to move to Ohio?

Part 5

"Hey, you okay?" Toby asks, taking his attention away from driving
briefly.

CJ nods, looking out her car window. Dayton Ohio was certainly not as
well lit as Washington D.C is, CJ notices.

Toby looks back at CJ, adjusting his hands on the wheel. " It's just,
you haven' t said much since we left the nursing home."

"There's nothing to say. We talked all afternoon."

"Okay, I was just concerned." Toby surrenders.

"I'm fine, Toby. Just tired. Oh, I think this is the street we're
looking for." CJ points out her window.

Toby nods, easing them into a different lane so they could turn. "
Was it good to see your father? He hasn't changed much since I last
saw him before the campaign started."

CJ shrugs. " He's actually changed a lot. Sometimes it's hard to
think of him as the man who raised me. I can still see him as the
father I knew when I was like five. The one whose lap I always
crawled into when I was sick, or scared, or hurt. But it's hard to
picture him as the man who drove me to all those leadership camps and
Young Democrats meetings. The one who would prep me before an exam….
I don't know. He's changed."

Toby once again glances at her. She's staring out the passenger
window again. "Maybe so, but he loves you so much. I could tell that
much."

CJ turns to Toby and smiles lightly. " Yeah. I'm sorry he was so hard
on you."

"No harm done."

"But, he was being totally out of line, and I have no idea where he
got it from. He mentioned stuff we've never even considered." CJ
watches as Toby finds them a parking place at the hotel.

"Like…marriage?" Toby asks, reaching into the back seat and grabbing
their bags.

CJ can't look him in the eye when he resurfaces. " Yeah." She merely
says, reaching for the door handle and jumping out of the car.

Toby has to skip to catch up to her. "Hey, CJ, wait up. Have, haven't
you ever thought about us getting married? " He asks as he falls into
line with her.

CJ doesn't stop walking. " Well, not exactly."

Toby watches her carefully. "Oh." He says as he opens the Entrance
door for her. It kind of hurt him to hear her say that she had never
thought of marrying him. Maybe she just didn't think about the future
as much as he did.

They approach the Front Desk and Toby loses his train of thought as
he checks them in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~

As soon as they enter their room, CJ takes her suitcase to the
bathroom to get changed. She didn't even bother to ask Toby how he
had gotten them such an extravagant suite on such short notice. She
shuts the bathroom door and locks it, slumping down onto the toilet.
She feels nauseated and tired and very confused.

"CJ, you okay?" Toby knocks softly on the door. When CJ doesn't
respond, he continues. " Honey, can you come out here and talk?"

"No," CJ calls back, beginning to compose herself and open the
suitcase. " I'm getting ready for bed."

So, Toby went on to put his stuff in the chest of drawers. After he
finished, he sat on the bed, put CNN on and sat and waited for CJ to
emerge from the bathroom.

Thirty minutes later she finally steps out of the bathroom, showered
and dressed.

Toby turns at the sound of the door closing. "Hey, feel better?"

CJ nods, coming and sitting chastely beside Toby. "Uh, Toby, I think
I'm just going to go to bed now."

Toby looks at her questioningly. " Okay, but don't you want to talk
first?" He flicks the t.v off.

CJ shakes her head. " I just want to sleep."

Toby nods. "Okay, Well, come on, get into bed then." He begins to
pull back the covers for her to slide under, but the scent of her
perfume is flooding from the bathroom to the main room and he's
already transfixed.

CJ climbs in and pulls the covers up high around her. " Toby, why
didn't you get us two beds?" She asks, almost feeling guilty for
having asked.

Toby looks puzzled. " Well, because we've been sharing the same bed
for almost two weeks now, I wasn't anticipating changing."

CJ looks at the comforter. " Well, I just don't know if it's right
anymore. We're acting like we're a couple of lovesick teenagers.
Maybe, maybe we should slow down." She hates suggesting this, but she
really needed to be alone and get some personal insight as to what
she was feeling right now.

Toby sits back down on the edge of the bed, close to CJ's side. "
Hey, we always go at your pace. But, are you okay?" He drags his
finger down her forearm, wondering where she was coming from. All he
wanted to do was take her into his arms and just absorb.

CJ closes her eyes. " I don't know. Seeing my father again has sort
of…upset me. And, I don't know what to do anymore. I think I want to
move back here, so I can take care of him."

"CJ," Toby exhales. " I know how much your father means to you. But,
you can't just move."

CJ nods, not opening her eyes to see the concerned look in Toby's
eyes. " I, I think we should spend some time apart, Toby. We're not
young anymore, we can't be doing this. We have our jobs and other
things to think of."

Toby's heart skipped a beat. It was like a verbal dagger. He needed
her so much all the time, and the only time they really got together
was there time at night. He couldn't lose that. It was the one thing
keeping him from going mad during the day when he couldn't just pull
her into his arms and kiss her. "CJ, we're not having an affair.
We're in love. That's never going to change." Toby crawls in beside
her, barely able to fit on the bed since she's so close to the edge.
He draws her into his arms, hoping that she'll feel more secure there.

"I think I need to be with my father, Toby. He's not going to be
around for much longer. Today reminded me of that." She still isn't
opening her eyes. " He was such a good father, Toby. He always
encouraged me. If I made a mistake he wouldn't yell or anything, he'd
just make me own up to it and work to correct it. I wasn't a failure,
in his mind, as long as I learned from my mistakes and did the best I
could. He was never too macho or anything. He used to be able to curl
my hair for me. The first time I ever had sex I went and told him.
Since my mother wasn't around, we grew so close. But, he never let us
forget her." Tears were beginning to form in CJ's eyes as the
memories came flooding back, making her feel her heart beat in her
ears.

Toby guides her head to his chest. " It's okay, baby. We'll find a
way for you to see him more often."

CJ doesn't really hear Toby. She's transfixed with the sound of his
beating heart. It was steady and reassuring, just like him. "My
father used to say that listening to someone's heart was a good way
to calm down. He said the rhythmic beating makes you feel more
grounded. So, whenever I was scared or stressed, I'd crawl into his
arms and just sit and listen for a while." She looks up briefly to
see Toby watching her. She smiles. "And, now I do that with you."

Toby runs his fingers through her damp hair. " I don't mind in the
least." He whispers.

CJ rests her face in Toby's chest and takes a deep breath, the fabric
of his shirt reminding her off the sexy roughness of his beard. "
Maybe once I get my own place I could bring him home to stay with me.
That way I'd always be able to care for him."

Toby shakes his head. "CJ, you work like 16 hour days. You would
never have time for him. You'd come home at like nine o' clock and be
too tired to care for him. I know you'd like to do that, but it's
just not possible."

"Then what do I do?" CJ's tone was begging and said that she was near
tears. There had to be a way to keep the two things she cared about
most, her job and her father. Well, and Toby…

Toby sucks in a breath. " Why couldn't you look for nursing homes in
the D.C area? That way he'd be close enough for you to visit
frequently, and even Arthur would be able to see him more often. Do
you think he'd consider moving to Washington?"

CJ takes a moment to answer. " Maybe, it's a possibility. But he
loves Ohio, and Donnie would never get to see him."

"But it's a lot easier for Donnie to come to D.C than it is for you
and Arthur to come here."

CJ nods. " It would be great. If I found a place near the Whitehouse
I could go have lunch with him on some of my lunch hours." She
smiles, obviously relieved to have found a solution that could work.

Toby smiles, too. " Exactly. Why don't we talk to him about it
tomorrow?"

"Good. Thank you for helping me with all this." She unravels herself
from Toby and lays down on her back.

Toby reaches over and glides his finger down the side of her
face. "You're welcome. I'm glad you're feeling better. Now, I'm just
going to go brush my teeth and get ready for bed, but I'll be back in
a minute."

CJ yawns, realizing for the first time just how hard it is even to
keep her eyes open. A whole day of riding in a car and then seeing
her father again could really exhaust her. " Okay, but I can't
promise I'll be awake when you come back."

Toby smiles, his face hovering above hers. "Well then I'll just have
to say good night now and when I get back I'll crawl in beside you
and wrap my arms around you so we don't separate during the night."

CJ smiles and then turns serious. " Toby, about earlier. I would
never have really made you sleep on the floor. I,I like lying next to
you."

Toby smiles, sitting up. " Good, because I've got a sore enough back
from driving and if I had to sleep on the floor there would no
guarantee that I'd be able to walk tomorrow."

"But, I know that if I did ask you to, you would, wouldn't you?"

Toby pushes himself off the bed. " Of course." Toby bends to peck CJ
on the lips. "Lie back and get some rest. I'll be back in a minute."
He starts to back away from the bed.

CJ nods and yawns and closes her eyes, settling in to the bed.

Toby stops moving and just stares at the woman in the bed. "How did I
get so lucky? I have no life if I don't have her." He whispers to
himself, then turns to step into the bathroom.

A few minutes later Toby comes out of the bathroom, clean and
stripped down to his boxers. He walks over to the massive bed and
smiles when he notices CJ is indeed already sleeping. He doesn't want
to wake her, so he crawls in on the other side of the bed this time
and snuggles in beside her. She's lying on her back so he can't
really draw her into his arms a without waking her, but he turns to
lie on his stomach so he can rest his right arm on her stomach. It
was as if he had only been living for two weeks-the two weeks they
had been together.

The story of my life is very plain to read.
It starts the day you came and ends the day you leave.
The story of my life begins and ends with you.
The names are still the same, the story's still the truth.
I was alone. You found me waiting and made me your own.
I was afraid that somehow I never could be…the man that you wanted of
me.
You're the story of my life, and every word is true.
Each chapter sings your name. Each page begins with you.
It's the story of our times and never letting go.
And if I died today, I wanted you to know.
Stay with me here. Share with me, care with me.
Stay and be near.

And when it began, I'd lie awake every night,
Just knowing somewhere deep inside…that our affair just might write;
The story of my life… it's very plain to read.
It starts the day you came. It ends the day you leave.

Part 6

Toby awoke the next morning to the familiar shrill shrieking of CJ's
cell phone. He rubs his eyes and has to smile. In the past two weeks
he had heard that damn thing ring more times then he had heard it
since she got it.

When the ringing doesn't stop and CJ doesn't budge, Toby gets up
and retrieves it from her suitcase beside the entertainment
unit. "Hello," Toby practically groans. He didn't know why he
bothered to answer it, but most of the calls CJ got were important.

"Hi," An unrecognizable voice says on the other line. "I think I've
got the wrong number." The voice, obviously a male's, responds.

"That depends on who you're looking for." Toby says dryly, wanting to
go back to sleeping beside CJ.

"Uh, CJ Cregg?" The voice says hopefully.

Toby almost smiles. " Yeah, you got the right number. Can I tell her
who's calling?" Suddenly Toby feels a pinge of jealousy. Who was this
man call her at four am?

"Yes, it's Donnie." The man replies, more confident now.

"Oh, you're her brother." It takes Toby a minute to come to that
conclusion as he rubs his eyes. "Is this important, because she's
sleeping? You know, what most people do at 4 am."

The voice hesitates. " Yes, it is important. Please wake her."

"Okay, she isn't going to like this." Toby brings the phone to CJ and
sits on his side of the bed. He holdsthe phone to his chest and
gently shakes CJ's shoulder. " Honey, your brother Donnie's on the
phone. He says it's important."

It takes CJ a moment to register what's going on, and another to
drift back into consciousness and sit up to take the phone from
Toby. " Hello?" She says groggily. It had been a while since she had
talked to the younger of her two older brothers.

Donnie once again sounded nervous. "Uh, hi, CJ. Sorry to wake you. I
tried your home number, but there was no answer. Uh, I've got some
bad news. Last, last night Dad had a heart attack."

CJ's eyes shoot open and it takes her a moment to gauge her
response. " What? I was just there last night."

"What?" Donnie asks.

"I, I'm in Dayton, Donnie. I came to see Daddy yesterday. He, he was
fine, then. Oh my. Is, is he alright?"

"Not exactly." Donnie stalls. "He's, he's real sick, CJ. The doctors
think this is the last straw. I'm going to call Art and get him down
here as soon as possible. Can you come to the hospital nearest the
nursing home? I'm on my way there as soon as I get in touch with Art."

CJ nods, but realizes her brother can't see her. She looks to Toby. "
Yeah, I'm on my way. I'll see you there."

"Okay. CJ? Come fast, okay?" Donnie's voice drops.

"I will. See you soon. Bye." CJ turns off the phone.

Toby had already guessed it had something to do with her father. He
reaches out and takes the phone from her as he wraps his arm around
her back. " What's the matter?" He asks, softly.

CJ was silent. She was simply looking around at the expensive-looking
room. She noticed for the first time the door that led to what must
be a small kitchenette. Her eyes drift back to the bed. " My, my
father had a heart attack."

Toby pulls her into his chest. " I'm, I'm so sorry. Was it bad?"

CJ shrugs. " I don't know. I'm assuming yes by the way Donnie
talked." She sighs and wiggles out of Toby's hold. " I'm, I'm going
to go down to the hospital right away. If you want to stay or…"

"Not a chance. I'm coming with you. Why don't you grab a quick shower
first?" Toby suggests, following CJ's lead and getting off the bed.

CJ shakes her head, bringing her hand up to cup her forehead. " No, I
had one last night. I'll, uh, get ready now. If you want you can grab
a shower. I'll be a few minutes. But , please hurry."

"Okay, I'll be ten minutes, max. Will you be ready by then?" Toby
asks, already heading toward the bathroom.

CJ nods, trying to remember what she had to do before she left. "
Yeah, just be quick." She tries to get her mind around this. Last
night her father had looked and acted better than he had in ages. He
had known who she was (which lately was not common), and he even
seemed to know who Toby was. He had been sharp and quick and even
looked healthy. Sure just seeing him had made her sad, but he was
still her father. How could this have happened?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi, am I late?" Donnie rushes into the waiting room in the ER
department of the hospital. He had ran when he saw CJ and another man
sitting in a couple of uncomfortable chairs. He approaches them. His
sister looked tired and worn.

CJ takes her emotionless eyes off the floor and looks at her brother.
He still has a friendly, shining face and bit of a chubby tummy, but
he looked healthy. "No. The doctors haven't been able to tell us a
thing. We're still waiting." She responds.

Donnie steps over and bends to give CJ a quick peck on the cheek. "
How have you been?"

CJ shrugs. " I'm fine. Oh, Donnie, this is my friend Toby Zieglar.
Toby, this is my brother Donnie."

The men shake hands.

"You must be the one I talked to on the phone." Donnie nods as he
takes a seat opposite them.

"Yep. Sorry if I was a little rude. I'm just getting very used to the
obnoxious sound of CJ's cell phone waking me up in the morning."
Maybe that comment had been way inappropriate, Toby thinks after he
says it.

CJ, slightly embarrassed, goes back to staring at the floor.

They are saved from the awkwardness when a doctor enters from the
long hallway containing all the emergency rooms. He steps in between
the small group. "Ms. Cregg?" He wonders, looking at CJ.

CJ nods. "Yes, doctor. This is my brother, Donnie." She indicated
Donnie.

The doctor shakes their hands. " Your father had a medium grade heart
attack. It wasn't minor, or massive, but somewhere in between. He's
in Intensive Care right now, and he's stable. You can go see him in a
little while." He takes a deep breath. " I don't think he'll be able
to go home. With the combination of the attack and his current state
of health, it doesn't look like he'll have much time left." He looked
apologetic and sincere as he glanced at the three faces staring at
him in shock and fear. " I'm sorry."

" How long would you give him, `doc?" Donnie asks, after glancing at
CJ.

The doctor takes in a breath. " Any time.. I'm sorry. There's no
definite prognosis. He could have two weeks, he could have two years."

CJ rests her head in her hands. "Can we go see him, now?" She asks,
not looking at him.

The doctor nods. " Yes, but he's still unconscious. He may drift
back, but please don't expect too much right yet."

Toby doesn't take his eyes off CJ. She looked worse than she did
yesterday. In fact, she looked nothing like the Press Secretary he
knew and loved. She was a heartbroken little girl.

CJ stands up immediately. " I just want to see him. Thank you for all
your help, doctor."

The doctor nods and motions for them to follow him. Toby and Donnie
get up and follow CJ's lead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Any word from Art, yet?" CJ asks Donnie as he walks back into the
room. She entwines her hands and once again turns to glance at her
father beside her. She had been sitting in a rickety old chair beside
her father's bed for over an hour now. Toby and Donnie had opted for
leaning against the wall. Tal Cregg looked pale and sickly. His eyes
were hollow and sunken and his breathing didn't sound normal. He
hadn't so much as stirred since they came to him. CJ had tried
talking to him numerous times, but he just wasn't coming back, yet.

Donnie, hands in pockets, shakes his head. " I think maybe Hogan may
have a soccer game or something."

"At 5:45 in the morning?" Toby asks dryly, sighing as he digs his
shoulder blades into the wall.

Donnie shrugs. " He's not answering."

"Maybe he's at his new girlfriend's place." CJ says for sake of
getting her attention away from her father for a moment. " Hogan
mentioned to me a couple of weeks ago that she was spending a night a
friend's house because he had a date."

Toby sighs, wishing there was more he could do. For some reason, he
didn't trust the doctors here. He wanted to call the Whitehouse and
ask for some qualified health professionals to come and tend to CJ's
father.

The room was silent for another few minutes. There wasn't much more
to say. They were all just praying for a miracle.

Suddenly CJ looks over to see her father swallow hard. She sits up
straighter and smiles as her father slowly begins to move his face
and open his eyes.

"Daddy," She whispers, drawing the attention of the other two men in
the room. "Daddy, it's me, Claudia Jean. How are you feeling" She
smiles wider when she sees her father smile at her.

In a forced and ragged breath, Tal speaks. " I've been better. Very
crampy, though."

Donnie comes closer to the bed. " Hi, Dad. Can I get you anything?"

Tal tries to shake his head, but the various wires etc. are
preventing him from much movement. " I'm alright. Come closer, you
two." He lifts a finger to wave them closer. It is still very hard
for him to articulate. "Guess what happened to me? I just saw an
angel. A real angel. She came down and spoke to me. She's going to
take me to be with your mother soon."

CJ and Donnie both look at each other, not knowing what to make of
their father's comment.

"Daddy…" CJ begins

Tal shakes his head. " No, no protesting, honey. This is fate. I'm
finally going to get to see my only true love after almost thirty
years. I know you'll miss me, but you'll be fine. You've got each
other. Where's Arthur?"

"We've tried to get in touch with Art, but there's no answer." Donnie
says, uncomfortable with his father talking about death like this.

"If I don't get to see him, you must tell him to give my grand
daughter a kiss for me. I miss her. Why don`t you two have children,
yet?" Tal appears vague and confused, staring at the ceiling now.

CJ sighs, taking her father's cold wrinkly hands into hers. " We
haven't met the right people, yet, Daddy. And, I don't think you're
going anywhere."

Tal cracks a painful smiles. " But, I have to go, baby. There's only
enough room for so many of God's beautiful children on this earth.
That angel told me I'll be well replaced by a new family member to
come." He turns to Toby, standing at the wall and watching the
scene. "Come over here, son." He orders, looking Toby directly in the
eyes.

CJ is confused. It wasn't like her father to talk of angels and fate
like this, especially not in regards to himself.

Toby stands beside CJ. " Yes, sir?"

Tal glances from CJ to Toby. "You two might have a little secret to
share in the near future, but I won't spoil the surprise. Now,
Claudia, in the closest in my room, buried in some box, is your
mother's engagement ring. She was having it resized when she…went. I
haven't been able to let it go. I want you to keep it. It may come in
handy one day."

Now CJ is just plain scared. She had never seen her father so
delusional. " Daddy, please…"
He puts his hand up for silence. "Now, Donnie, you must always work
hard and embrace the lord. Don't hide, never hide. And don't forget
to look after your sister and your niece. They're amazing women. One
day I think you'll find one just like them. It just so happens that
today is Toby's lucky day."

Maybe he isn't so out-of-this world, CJ thinks. He remembers Toby.
But the conversation was giving her goosebumps, regardless.

Donnie merely nods, his eyes wide and a little frightened.

The room is silent for another moment. " I love both of you, so much.
And I love Arthur and Hogan, too. Never forget that. Please always
remember that. And never forget your mother. Never forget how she
raised you, how proud of you she was. Never forget her quick wit and
gorgeous smile. Never…forget." An unexpected tear finds its way down
Tal's cheek.

"Oh, Daddy." CJ is near tears, herself, wrapping her arms around her
father and practically lying on top of him.

Tal smiles, softly. " Don't cry, baby. You'll never forget like I
did. I forgot too much. Some days I couldn't even remember my own
name. You'll have plenty to make you remember, and plenty to make
you happy. You have your family, and the obvious love of the man
next to you. You won't miss me too much."

CJ is sobbing now, clutching her father and never letting him go. "
Daddy, stop talking like this, please. You're frightening me."

Toby places his hands on CJ's shoulder and gently pries her away,
rubbing her shoulders comfortingly as he does.

" I don't want you to be frightened. I've had a good, long life. I
was blessed in so many ways. I had a good job, women who loved me,
best of all your mother, and three wonderful children. I'd say I kind
of owe the world this. And like I said, there's going to be someone
to take my place. I would have liked to stay and meet him or her, but
this is my time to say goodbye." Despite his raspy breathing, his
words were articulate and meaningful.

"Dad, you can't possibly be serious." Donnie asks.

" Yes, please, Daddy." CJ practically begs, rubbing her father's
shoulder like Toby had rubbed hers.

Tal shakes his head, again. " This isn't something you can fight. I
picked my battles, and won most of them. This is one I know I can't
win, and I think it'd be much better not to even try to fight. The
world owes me nothing. It's my time."

"The world owes you your mind back, Daddy. The world ripped it out of
you and stole it. " CJ was half crying and half screaming. She
couldn't believe her father was talking like this.

Toby wrapped his arms around hers, pulling her closer into him. "It's
okay, it's okay." He soothes.

Tal smiles. " Honey, come be a good girl and give your father a kiss.
You, too, Donnie. I'm very tired, and I want to go home. I want to
see your mother." There's no more amusement in his eyes. There's
hollow fear and peace at the same time.

Toby releases his hold on CJ and she immediately melts into her
father, crying and smothering him with kisses. Donnie merely holds
his fathers hand and tries to compose his sister.
Closing his eyes, Tal smiles. " I love you ,guys, and I'll be
watching everything you do. And I'll be watching everything my
grandchild does, and all my grandchildren to come. Just, never
forget. I love you. Never forget…"

And CJ knew he was gone. She sobbed and sobbed and shook him and he
didn't budge. " Don't just stand there!" She turns and snaps at
Toby. " Get the doctor! Now!"

Toby doesn't even respond, he just rushes out the door.

Donnie attempts to pry his sister away from the limp form that
resembled their father. " CJ, come on. I, I know this hard, but
you've got to let go."

"I will never let go." CJ practically screams.

Toby comes back with a few doctors and they try the paddles, but
nothing can bring back the lifeless body. The rest of the morning was
a haze for CJ. Everybody tried to pull her away from her father. She
held on until he started to grow cold, at which point the last tear
escaped from her eyes and she crumpled into a ball on the floor,
crying and screaming and not really thinking. The aftermath….


Part 7

"Hello?"

"Hey, Leo." Toby almost sighs. He had figured it was time to call,
check in, and inform Leo about was what was going on.

Leo's voice sounded annoyed. "Toby, what's up? I can't talk long."

It was apparent to Toby that Leo was distracted. "Okay, I won't take
a lot of your time." Toby concedes.

"How are CJ and her father?" Leo asks, casually.

Toby paces the small kitchenette. "Uh, not, not good. Mr. Cregg had a
heart attack last night."

"Oh, my God. Are you serous?" Leo asks, suddenly surprised.

Toby pauses, turning the stove on. "Yeah. CJ's brother called us
down to the hospital early this morning."

"That's awful. Did she even get to see him?"

"Yeah, we visited him last night." Toby places the kettle on the
stove. It's obvious that he is upset. First of all, the father of the
woman he loved had just died the day after they saw him, and second
of all, he had never seen the woman he loved so unglued and
emotional. He was torn and finding it very hard to even talk about
all this.

"Was he alright, then?"

"Yeah, he looked well enough. He seemed to be mostly with it. It's,
it's just incredible how it happened. It doesn't seem fair." Toby's
voice held more emotion than Leo had ever heard in it.

"How's CJ?" Leo asks, taking a deep breath.

Toby takes a second to answer him. He sighs and looks out the
kitchen door and into the bedroom to see CJ curled up in the bed. "
She, she's not herself. She's completely distraught. I'm just doing
my best to be there for her in any way I can."

"May I speak to her?" Leo asks in an even tone.

"Well, she's sleeping right now. We were up early and she just
collapsed when we got here. I don't really want to wake her."

"That's fine, don't wake her. Tell her I'm sorry and I'll talk to her
soon."

Toby is still watching CJ. "Okay, uh, Leo, the funeral is probably
not going to be for a couple of days..."

"That's fine. Don't bother to come back. Stay there as long as you
need. We're doing fine here without you guys. We want you back, but
we'll survive. If there's any problems we'll give you a call."

"Okay. Leo, you'll talk to Josh?" Toby asks hopefully.
"Yeah, no problem. Hey, Toby, give CJ my condolences and ,uh, take
care of her, will ya?" Leo pauses.

Toby could sense the sympathy in Leo's tone. "Yes, I will. Thanks,
Leo."

"No problem. I'm just taking down this number in case I need to get
in touch with you. Keep in touch and take care, okay?"

"Yep, will do. I think CJ's starting to stir, I better go. Talk to
you soon." Toby slowly hangs up the phone and makes his way into the
main room-the bedroom/living room. He slowly makes his way over to
the bed as CJ rolls in her sleep.

Toby crawls in "his" side of the bed and sits down beside CJ. CJ
slowly drifts awake and immediately turns to face Toby.

Toby appraises her lovingly, taking one hand and caressing her
shoulder. " Hey, why aren't you sleeping?"

CJ smiles and shrugs as Toby plays with her hair. "I woke up."

"How are you feeling?" Toby asks sympathetically.

"I'm fine. Did anyone call for me?" CJ asks, sitting up as Toby
straightens up.

"No, not yet. But Arthur's here now. I think he's staying at
Donnie's. I'm making some tea, would you like some?"

CJ grimaces. " I don't know. My stomach feels a little uneasy."

"Well, maybe some tea will make it feel better?" Toby suggests just
as the phone rings off in the distance. "I'll get that in the
kitchen. Sit tight." Toby dashes off to the kitchenette.

"Hello," Toby whispers into receiver as he pulls the door shut behind
him and cradles the phone on his shoulder.

"Hello. Is this Mr. and Mrs. Ziegler's room?" A familiar voice laughs
on the other line.

"Good afternoon, Mr. President, how are you?" Toby replies
sarcastically.

"I'm just fine, Toby. Getting stronger and stronger every day. I
heard about CJ's father. I just feel awful. May I speak with her?"
Jed asks courteously.

"Uh, no sir, she's…"

CJ's calling from the other room interrupts Toby. " Toby, is it for
me?"

Toby sighs. "Just a second, sir." Toby steps out into the main
room. " It's the President." He almost sounded annoyed. Toby really
wanted CJ to rest.

CJ reaches over to the night stand and picks up the receiver. " Good
morning, Mr. President."

Toby hangs up the phone in the kitchen and joins CJ on the bed as she
speaks with the President.

"Well, I'd say it's well into the afternoon there, CJ." Jed tries at
humour.

"I'm sorry, sir, I've been sleeping most of the morning. You're
right, it is the afternoon. How are you?" CJ asks politely.

"I'm fine. Although I'm sure you're not. I'm so sorry to hear about
your father. Please accept Abbey's and I's deepest condolences. He
was such a good man. I had the fortuancy of meeting him a while
back, did I not?"

"Yes, sir, I believe you did. He was an avid supporter." CJ bites her
bottom lip, finding it hard to talk about her father. How was she
going to make it through these next couple of days?

"That's right. Have you arranged a funeral, yet?" Jed asks in a
business-like manner.

"We're working on it, sir. I believe my brothers are making the plans
now."

"Alright. Listen, CJ, if it's alright with you, I'd like to arrange
an Honour Guard. He deserves that much."

"Sir, I…"

"No, please, CJ. I'd really like to do this for him, and for you.
And this isn't something I'll be doing as President, this is on Jed
Bartlet's bill. It's the least I can do."

CJ has to smile. " Thank you, sir. I appreciate that. A full military
service?"

"Yes. So, please let me know when you'd like it. Abbey and I would
like to be there. And CJ, I am truly sorry. I know how close the two
of you were."

CJ has to bite back tears. Talking about it was bad enough, but with
the President being so honest and sensitive, she couldn't help but
sniffle. "Yes, we were close. I'm very grateful to have you, sir. I
appreciate all this."

Jed's smile can be heard through the phone. " It's my pleasure. After
over five years, it's about time I do something at your pleasure.
Now, is Toby there with you."

CJ tries to get control of the tears spilling down her cheek. "Yes,
yes he is."

Toby brings his forehead to rest against hers, and wipes CJ's tears
away with his thumb. He smiles at her, knowing she's more moved than
sad.

"Good." Jed states. " He'll take good care of you. You'll keep in
touch and let us know what's going on?"

"Yes, sir. But I don't want you to feel obligated to come all the way
up here."

Jed pauses for a minute. "CJ, you are like a daughter to me, as I'm
sure you are aware. I want to be there for my family when they're in
need. I thought you knew me better than that." His voice is soft and
teasing.

CJ smiles, watching Toby watching her, their gazes locked. " I do,
sir. Thank you for everything."

"Okay then. And just bare in mind, underneath that gruff exterior,
Toby really is a good man. I bet he wouldn't turn you away if you
crawled into his arms. And if he does, I'll beat him with some kind
of large stick." It was Jed's way of turning something that he
obviously felt was serious into a bit of a joke.

Her eyes never wavering from Toby's, CJ smiles. " I have no doubt you
would do that, sir. But, rest assured, you'll never need to. Toby
would never turn me away."

"And for that I'm glad. I must go now, but I'm sure I'll be seeing
you in the next couple of days. Keep us updated, please."

"I will. Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome. Bye for now."

CJ hangs up after the President does. She breaks the contact with
Toby and starts to stretch, thinking about how much her life was
changing so quickly. Everything seemed to be out of control. She
supposed she ought to call her brothers and tell them about the
President's offer of a military funeral. For a while there she had
forgotten that her father had fought in Korea. She sighs. There was
so much to do.

"So, what was all that about?" Toby had only heard bits and pieces of
the conversation from where he had sat.

CJ sighs again. " The President offered to give Daddy a full military
funeral at his expense."

Toby smiles, surprised. " You're kidding?"

CJ shakes her head. "No. I just don't know how I'm going to repay
him."

"I'm sure you don't need to. And anyway, you'll think of that later.
Can I get you anything to eat? You haven't had anything all day."
Toby rests his hands on CJ's side.

CJ shakes her head. " No, I'm not hungry. I've got to call Donnie and
see what's going on." She throws the covers off the bed and stands
up. " I should probably go shopping for something appropriate to wear
to the funeral, seeing as I hadn't anticipated that when I was
packing. And I should call Leo and see how the country's doing
without us, seeing as CNN doesn't quite seem to be able to fill me.
Man, I hate having to ask for another day off." She was speaking
quickly, trying to get control of the situation and bring her mind
back to reality. Ever since she had passed out at the hospital and
had to have Toby carry her back to the hotel, she had been filled
with this sense of lack of sensory perception. She had to keep
blinking her eyes and remind herself to keep alert. She had so much
to do, but all she wanted to do was crawl back into bed and forget
that she had just lost the most influential person her life. It was
so hard to get the image of that pale white face, smiling at her and
telling her never to forget anything. Lord, she had too much to
forget.

Toby climbs off the bed. " I already talked to Leo. He said to offer
you his condolences and take as long as you need coming back to
Washington. He really doesn't think you're slacking or abusing your
privileges, CJ."

"I know. Okay, I better give Donnie a call, then find some kind of
mall around here." CJ exhales.

Toby comes and takes her hands in his. "Breath for me, will ya,
sweetheart? It's going to be okay."

"I know it will be." CJ smiles and releases Toby's hand. " Would you
mind coming shopping with me later? I don't intend to take very long,
I just need something to wear. I'd like to stop by Donnie's, as well."

It was typical of her to jump right into action, Toby thinks. He
wants her to relax and take time to absorb everything, but he knows
he can't change her nature. " Okay, we can do all that. Any excuse to
see you try on dresses." He smiles widely.

CJ gives Toby a " don't you dare" look. " Toby, I'm not in the mood,
okay?"

Toby looks taken aback. " I was just trying to make you smile."

CJ relaxes. " I know, and I appreciate it. But, today isn't a day for
smiling."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been a busy day for CJ and Toby. They had stopped at Donnie's
to work on the funeral and legal arrangements. There hadn't been much
sentimental reflection, just business-like goal-setting. CJ and her
two brothers had sat in silence, going through the motions, calling
the people they needed to. There had been no light-hearted humour
which usually accompanied their reunions. The whole day had seemed
surreal.

After the arrangements, Toby and CJ had stopped off at the local mall
to get a couple of respectable outfits to wear to the wake and
service.

When they got back to the suite, CJ took a quick bath and jumped
right into bed.

She was silent as Toby wrapped his arms around her and pulled her
into his chest. "Tired?" He whispers into her ear, wanting to take
the sadness, fear and stress out of the day for her. His hands come
around to caress her stomach.

CJ turns around and seeks out Toby's face with hers, wanting to feel
the newly familiar feel of his prickly beard on her cheek. " Yes,
very." She sighs.

Toby slides his hands down to her hips. " Want to talk?"

"No. It's been a long day, Toby."

"I just thought you might want to talk about…"

CJ cuts him off. "No. I'm okay, Toby. Really. I'm starting to feel a
lot better. Now please, I am so tired." She shuts her heavy eyes and
gives into her senses.

Toby's voice lowers. "Okay. Sweet dreams, my love."

CJ opens her eyes again. " Toby, please stop smoking." She had no
idea where the request had come from, just something about death and
Toby's habit had made her think of her concern.

Toby tilts his head to look at CJ. "I haven't had a cigarette in over
two weeks. I am quitting, baby."

CJ rests her head back on Toby's chest. "Okay, I was just checking.
It's important to me, now more than ever. I can't lose another man I
love." She was so sincere it was heart wrenching.

Toby's heart jumps. His eyes twinkle in the darkness and he can't
contain his smile. " You love me?"

CJ blinks. " Of course, Pokey. Have I never told you that?"
Toby shakes his head. " I've told you, but you've never told me. And
don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

CJ nods, content. "Toby, I get a sense that I'm not really myself
right now-like I'm being dictated by an alternate freakish CJ. Just
make sure I don't do something stupid. Look out for me and keep me
grounded, okay? I need this. I need you."

"Okay, as long as you know that it's okay to be emotional. It's okay
to mourn and grieve. You don't always have to be strong."

"I know. It's just hard to let down your defences sometimes. When you
do, you get hurt. Toby, I was going to find Daddy a nursing home in
Washington. I was going to take care of him like I should have been
doing before. I tried to make things better, but I was too late.
That's why I told you I love you. I didn't want to wait until it's
too late."

"It's never too late. And don't be afraid to put down your ground.
Because sometimes you're your strongest when you're undefended."
Toby smiles. " I love you so much. Never feel guilty or regretful for
caring about someone. I know that it isn't fair that this had to
happen, but you can't be bitter."

CJ nods. "I'm trying my hardest not be. But sometimes fate has a
really sick sense of humour. Toby, I feel like people are going to
start to question why you're here. They're going to wonder why you
care so much about me. I, I think we're going to have to explain this
to Leo. "

Toby tried to imagine how Leo would react. Probably his first
reaction to hearing that he and CJ were a couple would be shock, then
Leo would consider the consequences from a PR/campaign standpoint.
Then, maybe eventually he could give it up and be happy for them. " I
agree. We'll talk to Leo."

CJ pauses for a few minutes. " The real problem will be telling the
President."

Toby smiles, knowingly. "He's got his eyes on me. I think he'd be
happy for us, as long as I don't screw up and get you mad. If I ever
did anything to hurt you, I'd have to relocate to an non- American
supported country and hope that he doesn't track me down and have me
imprisoned…or worse."

CJ laughs softly, thinking about how ridiculous but true that notion
was. " Nah, I think he'd just have you lynched at the alter." She
smiles. " He told me that underneath your `gruff' exterior you're a
good man… I think I'd like to see that side of you."

Toby smiles, glad CJ had lost some of the tension that plagued her
face and features. " Hey, I thought I always showed you that side of
me. Ever since you told me that you like your men `sunny side up',
I've been trying my hardest to be good and nice."

CJ shakes her head affectionately at Toby, wrapping her arms tighter
around Toby, loving that he could make her laugh even in the worst of
circumstances. She calms down and whispers seriously. " I don't know
what I'd ever do without you. I love you."

Toby, too, relaxes. " And I love you, Claudia Jean." Toby breathes in
the deep, damp, scent off CJ's neck, revelling in the warmth of her.

CJ sighs, finally letting herself experience the emotions that those
simple words evoked. She was utterly moved and she suddenly knew that
this was love, and more importantly, that it was fate. They would
have tons of challenges to face together in the near future, but they
could get through it because they were them.


Part 8

The next morning Toby awoke peacefully. He had the sensation of
having a good, sound sleep. Then it hits him like it had every
morning for the last two weeks: I'm waking up to her. The women I
love… Toby doesn't open his eyes and just reaches out to pull her
close, wondering why she wasn't in his arms. He opens his eyes when
he can't feel her body.

"CJ? Baby, where are you?" He props himself up on his elbows and
turns to the side to see the bathroom light on. He relaxes, settling
back into bed. She was just going to the bathroom.

Just then, he hears the disgusting sound of vomiting. Toby
practically launches himself off the bed, rushing to the bathroom
door. "CJ? Honey, you alright?" He knocks rapidly on the door.

"Go away!" She mumbles as the toilet flushes.

Toby slowly opens the door and pokes his head inside. When he sees CJ
crumpled over the commode, he immediately rushes to her side, rubbing
her back. " What's the matter? Are you okay?"

Closing her eyes, CJ nods. " Yes, I'm fine, Toby. I was just sick,
that's all."

Toby shakes his head, standing up. He retrieves a washcloth from the
sink and begins to soak it in warm water. " Are you feeling alright?
Are you getting sick?" He walks back over to CJ and sits back down
beside her, dabbing the cloth on her forehead and cheeks.

CJ shrugs, still looking quite pale. " No. I think it was all the
excitement of the last couple of days. I'll be fine."

"You look a little flushed, are you sure you're not coming down with
something?" Toby asks, concernedly.

"No. I'm fine. Look, I just need to get up and get ready. We have to
go and clear out Daddy's room today." She stands up but it is
apparent she's a little uneasy on her feet.

"Whoa." Toby grabs her elbow and leads her out of the room. " Just
slow down, sweetheart. We've got all day. Come lie down and I'll get
you some water and crackers."

"My two favourite things." CJ replies sarcastically as Toby helps her
back into bed.

"CJ," Toby sits down in front of CJ as he tucks her back in. "just
take some time and relax. I'll order us some breakfast and then you
can go get ready if you're feeling up to it."

"I have to call work and tell Leo that we won't be home until
Wednesday, and the President about the funeral arrangements ." She
sighs, feeling out the pillow behind her with the back of her head.


Toby sighs. "And you will do that. But right now, take a minute and
just sit still. It could do you a world of good."

"I'm fine, Toby. And there are just some things that can't wait. Time
to get up and start another day. Are you not the least concerned
about the President and everyone else in the West Wing that have to
fill in for us? Poor Josh must be just spinning having to pick up our
slack."

Toby smiles. " I know. He has a meeting about this important new bill
today. For some reason I got the impression that it hit him
personally. I guess we'll find out what it was about and whether or
not it'll be on the President's desk any time soon." For the first
time in a day or so, Toby had thought about work. He thought about
all the appointments his secretary would have had to cancel, how the
administration would function without a Communications Director and
Press Secretary for five days, and all the fresh scholars he was
supposed to interview to be his deputy. It was times like these when
he really missed having Sam around, although, Toby would never admit
it. "But don't worry, we'll be back soon enough. We have competent
assistants and little devices called pagers and cell phones that we
can be contacted through."

CJ nods. She just wished she could live through the next 72 hours and
get back to work. Her job may be overly stressful, but at least it
was a break from the mixed-up reality she was faced to deal with now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When CJ knocked on her father's old room, Donnie answered and
immediately let her and Toby in. CJ looks around the familiar room as
she walks in and smiles when she spots her eldest brother sorting
through her father's chest of drawers, obviously having begun the
gruelling process of cleaning out Tal's room.

Arthur Cregg turns around. "CJ! Glad you could make it." He exclaims,
obviously happy to see her. Art was the tallest of the three, by far,
and thinner than his brother. He also had a more serious and
sophisticated-looking face. "Pull up a seat there, Toby." Art
suggests. He still wasn't clear on his sister's relationship with
this "friend" she had brought along, but he was being civil.

CJ and Toby walk further into the room.

"Toby, why don't you help us out here, and CJ, you can go help Hogan
with the bathroom, alright?" Donnie hands CJ a box.

CJ nods. " Okay. You'll be alright here for a while?" She turns to
Toby who has already begun to examine various belongs spread out
across the bed.

Toby nods. " Yeah."

Art stands up. "Want to tackle the closet, Toby?"

CJ smiles as she takes her box and opens the bathroom door, leaving
the men behind to deal with the main room.

"Hi, sweetheart." CJ greets her niece as she walks into the bathroom.

Hogan turns around and smiles at CJ. "Hi, Aunt CJ."

CJ laughs, spotting her father's cat crawling in the cupboard Hogan
was cleaning out. " What is Archimedes doing in there?"

Hogan smiles. "He hates to be alone, and those guys won't pay her any
attention." Hogan flips her long blond hair over her shoulder and
grabs the cat and removes him from the cupboard.

CJ grabs a spot on the floor beside Hogan, trying her hardest to tuck
her knees into her lap so she doesn't get squished in the small
confinement. She starts to stroke the cat in Hogan's lap. "So, how's
school going?"

Hogan shrugs, letting the cat climb out of her lap. " It's going
well. I'm thoroughly enjoying it."

"I'm glad. You must be almost finished this year. You still majoring
in journalism?"

Hogan smiles proudly. " With an unofficial minor in Political Science
at your request. But, they don't make you choose your major yet, so,
it could change."

"And it's alright if it does, you're still very young. So," CJ clasps
her hands on her knees. "what are we doing here?"

"Well, we're basically keeping anything that could be of use, and
pitching every else, like shaving cream and toilet paper." She
giggles.

CJ smiles affectionately. "Okay, I think I can make the distinction."
CJ begins sorting through things in the cupboard.

After a moment, Hogan turns to CJ. "So, my dad said that guy out
there is your boyfriend. Is that true, Aunt CJ?" Hogan smiles widely
and mischievously.

CJ's eyes are warning. " That would be Mr. Ziegler to you, not that
guy, and it's none of you or your father's business."

Hogan look slightly hurt. " Oh, come on, CJ. I'm not a little kid.
I'm nearly 18 years- old, can't you just tell me the truth?"

CJ looks uncertainly at her niece, then she remembers all the time
over the years that they had engaged in girly chit-chat. It was true
that Hogan was the daughter she never had. She smiles. " Fine, but
you've got to promise not to tell your father or uncle or they'll
grill him like he's never seen. Toby and I are…a couple."

Hogan smiles her mischievous grin again.

"What, what's so funny?" CJ asks with a short laugh.

" You guys are having sex, aren't you?" Hogan can't contain her
childish smile.

CJ's face drops. " I beg your pardon, young lady, but what kind of
question is that?"

"A perfectly acceptable one under the circumstances. With Grandpa not
around to enforce the rules on you, someone has to, and it might as
well be me considering you don't want Dad or Uncle Donnie to find
out. So, spill, sweetheart."

Her niece's clever, if not wise-ass, remark made CJ smile. Hogan had
inherited her spirit from her grandmother, CJ noted. " You expect me
to listen to a 17 year-old college freshman? You're going to set
rules for me, regarding who I'm aloud to date and whether or not I
can have sex?"

Hogan nodded affirmatively. " Yes."

CJ shakes her head affectionately. " Oh, darling, we don't see enough
each other."

"Okay, no rules. You're a grown women. But, you've got to give me the
details. Who is Toby, and what's your relationship like?" She finally
goes back to sorting through the toiletries.

CJ no longer saw a teenager trying to be funny, but a young woman who
was interested in learning more about adult relationships. Too bad
what she and Toby did couldn't exactly be considered adult. She
sighs. "Well, we've known each other since about when you were born-
maybe before. And, we've only been going out for a little while.
He's President Bartlet's Communications Director. We haven't told
anyone at the Whitehouse about our relationship, so you've got to
promise not to let anything I tell you slip, okay? This is very
serious."


Hogan nods. " Of course, Aunt CJ. I'm not stupid. I'm not going to go
blab or anything. I'm just…interested. You rarely ever let us meet
anyone you go out with. Is Toby…different?" She almost seemed
slightly embarrassed asking the question, but CJ was the only real
female influence she had, and she was greatly interested in her life.

"Yes…" CJ declares after a moment's thought. She hadn't exactly
wanted the young girl to know too much about her secret affair with
Toby, but she suddenly realizes that it's more important that she try
to be as honest as she could be with her niece. After all, they were
family. "Yes, he is much different. He, he makes me feel.. Special.
He's romantic but not overly. He's….God, he's perfect for me."

Hogan shrugs. " And I guess he's kinda cute in that totally-the-
opposite-of- Brad Pitt- way. I mean, if that's what you go for." She
smiles to say she was joking.

"Hey, I'm not out to get your approval." Suddenly it occurred to CJ
that that was a lie. Her family's approval of the man she loved was
very important.

Hogan looks at the floor. "Is he good to you?" She practically
blushes.

CJ smiles, glad the awkwardness was over. " Yes, honey. You don't
have to worry about me."

Hogan still looks at the floor. " I have a boyfriend." She states
emotionlessly.

CJ smiles, finding it hard to believe that her little girl was in a
relationship. But, there was something in the girl's voice when she
had said that that worried CJ. " Yes, and is he good to you?"

Hogan casually clears her throat. " Yes, yes of course."

CJ watched her carefully. " Hogan, want to talk about it?"

Hogan shakes her head. " Nah, it's typical new relationship stuff.
It's fine."

"Are you sure? I'm always here to talk, you know that. You don't have
to be embarrassed."

Hogan nods. " Yeah, I know. Look, we better get back to work."

CJ nods, turning her attention back to the cupboard and the garbage
bag that had found its way into her hands.

"So… Toby's the one?" Hogan was back to her usual self.

CJ smiles at her niece, thinking just how cute she was. " I'd like
to think so, but there's no guarantee."

"Sure, but does he love you?"

CJ thinks a moment, picturing Toby in there packing up her father's
pajamas or something. " Unconditionally."


Hogan shrugs. " Then you've found the one."

CJ nods, in a bit of a trance. Her niece was right. It was that
simple. "Okay, just don't tell anyone, alright. This is our little
secret."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Here, CJ, I found something that might interest you." Donnie groaned
as he backs out of the small closet and hands CJ a dark velvet
jewellery case.

CJ gets off her place on the bed and takes the case from Donnie, ever
so slowly opening it. When she discovers what's inside, she smiles
and has to cover her mouth with two fingers to prevent her lips from
quivering. "It's, it's Mommy's engagement ring." She states, a single
tear falling from her eye lash at the thought of how much her father
had loved her mother. They had had such a good relationship, so
loving, so attentive. Just like the kind of relationship she had with
Toby.

"You ought to keep that around, in case it ever comes in handy." Art
suggests, wrapping his arm around his daughter as he sits on the
couch.

CJ nods.

Toby, leaning against the wall opposite the wall the bed was against,
smiles at CJ, glad she had something so solid to remember her mother
and father by.

"What's going to happen to Archimedes now?" Hogan asks, stroking the
feline in her arms.

"Why don't you take him home with you?" Donnie suggests, going back
into the closet to retrieve the last of Tal's possessions. Most
everything was packed away already, and everyone was tired.


"We can't. Grover would go nuts." Art looks regretfully at his
daughter, who looks pained.

Hogan's eyes light up. " I can take him to the dorm with me." She
exclaims hopefully.

Art shakes his head. " You're not aloud animals in your room."

"Well, I certainly don't have time to watch over a cat. Why don't you
take him, CJ?" Donnie's voice is muffled as he is really talking to
the back of an empty closet.

CJ looks at Toby, sitting against the wall, relaxed, and watching
her. " I, I don't have an apartment, yet. I wouldn't be able to put
him anywhere."

"Well, we can't just hand Grandpa's cat over to the Humane Society."
Hogan states desperately.

Toby shrugs, holding CJ's gaze. " Why can't you keep him at my place
until you find your own place? Lots of people in my building have
pets."

CJ looks at Toby seriously. " You would let me bring my father's
smelly old cat to your apartment?"

Toby cracks a smile. " Of course. I let you come over, don't I?" It
was Toby's way of saying he wanted her to keep her father's cat and
make it their own.

So, CJ tolerated his comment. " Watch it, Buster, or you'll be
sleeping on the couch tonight." She had said too much. She clears her
throat.

"Well, I'm famished. Why don't we go to one of our old hangouts and
grab a bite to eat before we turn in for the day?" Art suggests,
standing up off the couch.

Donnie slowly comes out of the closet. " Look what I found." He says
softly, holding up a leather-bound notebook.

CJ's eyes widen as she recognizes the warn cover. " That's Daddy's
book! Well, the one he was writing."

Art comes over to stand beside Donnie and looks at the lost
treasure. " Wow, that's incredible. I thought he had scrapped this.
Numerical Idiocy. Ha, that's brilliant."

"It looks like he finished it." Donnie says, flipping through the
pages as Toby and CJ come closer to get a look at the book.

" If it's finished, why don't you publish it for him?" Hogan asks,
gathering into the circle, as well.

Everyone looks at her as if she's crazy.

"It's not that easy to just have something published, Hogan." Toby
states to explain to her why her idea wouldn't work.

Then Art turns serious. " Hold on, maybe she's got a good idea.
There's no reason we can't, right?"

"But…" CJ begins to protest.

"Come on, why not? It'd be a way to…preserve his legacy. He was a
great man, and he worked hard on this. He should be able to share his
ideas with others. And as a professor, I can tell that you both
teachers and students would benefit from this book." Art seemed
genuinely determined. " I know someone who might be willing to help
me. Would you guys go for it?" He looks to his sister and brother.

Donnie shrugs. "It's worth a shot. For Dad's sake."

"Yeah, for Dad's sake." Art says triumphantly.

Toby can't help but smile. This was the most incredible family he had
ever met, and he had a feeling it wouldn't be the last time he'd get
to see them all.

Part 9

"So, do you think your brothers are warming up to me at all?" Toby
asks CJ the next morning. It was Monday and Toby and CJ were spending
a lazy morning in bed. After the events of the last couple of days,
CJ had let herself stay in bed a little longer, so she could lie in
Toby's arms and not have to rush as per usual.

CJ smiles, turning in Toby's arms and bringing her face close to
his. " I think you've won them over, yes."

Toby shrugs. " I don't know. I just get the feeling that they don't
like me- like I'm intruding."

CJ smiles affectionately. " They're just being protective of me. You
won Daddy over, and that's the important thing. Donnie and Art will
follow. No worries." She runs her fingers down Toby's cheek, feeling
like she's ignored him the last couple of days. For once she was
starting to forget about the pain and focusing on moving on and being
happy.

Toby smiles, relieved. "You seem much more relaxed today."

"I am. We've got a little time before we have to get ready for the
wake. What time did the President say he was going to arrive?"

Toby smiles, impressed that CJ was finally forgiving herself for not
being with her father more often and that she was starting to see the
light in the darkness. "He'll be here around quarter to three."

CJ nods. After a moment of resting her head comfortably against
Toby's chest, she starts to feel nauseous and has to sit up.

Toby watches her, sitting up, as well. "You okay, honey?"

CJ nods, covering her mouth, slightly. " I'll be right back." She
states quickly before jumping out of bed and rushing to the bathroom.

Toby sighs at the sound of the door shutting. He wishes there was
something he could do. But she hated being intruded upon, so he
waited until she came out.

CJ walks slowly back to the bed a few minutes later, slightly
embarrassed. She had no idea why her stomach was acting like
this. "I'm sorry." She says, climbing back into bed, but not cuddling
into Toby this time.

Toby, regardless of CJ's hesitation, wraps his arms around her and
sits up to face her. " Are you okay? Are you sure you're not coming
down with something?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe there's something in the water here. I'll be
fine. Really."

Toby agrees, guiding CJ to lie beneath him as he aligns their mouths
for a kiss.

CJ begins to giggle before Toby starts to kiss her.

Toby lifts his head up, surprised. " What, what's so funny?"

"Toby, I just vomited. Are you sure you want to kiss me?" CJ can't
contain her smile. Toby would probably kiss her regardless of what
she had in her mouth or on her lips.

Now Toby smiles. " Well, as long as you promise not to puke when I
kiss you, I think we're safe."

CJ smiles, but then their gazes lock and her smile drops as Toby once
again tries to kiss her, this time succeeding.

They are interrupted when Archimedes, the cat, climbs onto the bed
and starts to crawl over Toby's back.

CJ bursts into laughter at the look on Toby's face when he discovered
the cat was walking all over him.

"We had to offer to take the cat, didn't we?" Toby sighs and shifts
to lie on the bed beside CJ. Archimedes once again crawls over Toby,
but this time he settles in the small spot between CJ's shoulders and
Toby's shoulders.

CJ smiles, turning on her side to stroke the cat who was starting to
get very comfortable and sleepy. " It's a good thing you're a very
influential person or we wouldn't be allowed to keep Archimedes in
our room."

"Yeah, dumb cat..." Toby mumbles, but then undermines himself by
smiling and petting the cat, as well. " You know," He turns to face
CJ. "this is the first morning where we've actually been able to
spend more than ten minutes in bed together."

CJ smiles her agreement. " I know, it's nice."

"I don't want it to end, CJ. I want you to move in with me…
permanently."

CJ turns to Toby. " I don't think I can do that."

Toby shifts closer to CJ. "Please, CJ. I hate this feeling of missing
you. Of not getting enough time with you. I hate having to sneak
around. I just want to tell everybody at work so we can be together
without having to worry. I, I don't want you to leave in the morning."

"Toby, we can tell everyone at work, but that won't solve our
problem. As soon as we go public, we're going to have reporters
following us constantly. We have to try our best to make this seem
normal and wholesome. If anyone sees us go home together like we'd
like to, they're going to assume we're having an affair. We have to
handle this properly or it'll hurt the President more than it'll hurt
us. And, I really don't want to have to resign right now."

"Honey, we're not going to have to resign because we fell in love. We
can try to have a normal relationship."

CJ sighs. " We're not normal people, Toby. Look, we can go about this
a hundred times and nothing's going to change."

"But I want it to change. I don't want to feel guilty lying to our
friends and the President. I don't want them to think I'm anything
less than committed to you. I, I want to be able to wake up to you
every morning without wondering how we're going to sneak away from
each other without being seen. This weekend has been great in a way
that we could really be a couple, ya know?"

CJ sighs, knowing that she wanted exactly what Toby wanted.

"Please, just, just don't go looking for a new apartment. If, if you
move, I'll never get to see Archimedes."

CJ has to laugh. " Right, and since when has that been important to
you?"

"It is important. Don't leave me."

"Toby, they're going to start to get suspicious soon knowing that I
haven't found an apartment."

Toby shrugs. " So? Let them talk. Who cares? We'll be happy. I do
make you happy, don't I?"

CJ takes in a deep breath. "Yes, Toby. But it matters a great deal
how we're perceived. We're in a job of public service. They're the
only thing that matters." She says almost regretfully. She couldn't
take this. She couldn't make Toby understand, and maybe he didn't
need to. Maybe it was just her being a Press Secretary. But she knew
there was going to be countless problems for them to overcome in the
future.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby was just walking around the suite, cleaning up various things.
He was all dressed and ready for the wake and just waiting for the
President to arrive and CJ to finish getting ready.

As if on cue , there is a knock on the door. Toby makes his way from
the kitchen to answer the door. When he answers the door, Toby
expects to see the President and First Lady, but he's standing face
to with Josh.

"Hi." Toby greets as Josh, Donna, Leo, and finally the President and
Mrs. Bartlet, file into the room when he opens the door for them

Josh is wearing a goofy smile, knowing that Toby and CJ hadn't
expected them all to come.

"Good afternoon, Toby. How's CJ?" The President asks cordially.

"She's, uh, fine. She's finishing getting ready. Can I get anyone a
drink?"

Abbey smiles as she shifts the bouquet of flowers she (and almost
everyone else in the room) held. "No, thanks, Toby. We were well
stocked on Air Force One."

Donna proceeds to examine the room. " Wow, this is a great suite. Is
it yours or CJ's?"

Toby clears his throat, moving into the kitchenette. "It's actually
both of ours."

Donna's eyebrows raise.

"Uh, I could use a drink, Toby." Josh says to clear the awkward air.

"Okay. What would you like?" Toby asks from the kitchenette.

"Just a soda." Josh concludes, shoving his free hand into his pocket.

"Can you grab me my purse, honey?" CJ calls as she steps out of the
bathroom. She stops short when she notices the half-dozen faces
looking at her. She smiles awkwardly. " Hi, everyone."

"Hiya CJ." Leo wasn't the only one that picked up on what CJ had
called out. If that "honey" hadn't been directed at Toby, who was it
for?

"Uh, look who all came to support you." Toby laughs nervously as he
comes into the room and hands Josh a can of soda.

"I can see that. It's good to see you all again." CJ steps back into
he normal self as she collects herself.

The President walks over to CJ. " They all insisted upon coming.
There was no talking them out of it. We're all here for you, honey."

CJ looks from Jed to the rest of the gang. "Well, I appreciate it,
sir. Thank you"

Josh shrugs. " I just wanted a vacation, and Donna had nothing better
to do."

Donna elbows Josh in the ribs and he groans. "Here, these are for
you." Donna walks over to CJ and hands her a bouquet of flowers.

CJ smiles warmly. "Thank you, Donna. They're beautiful. I wish I had
a vase to put them in."

Leo takes a step away from the door. " Carol wanted to come, but she
had to babysit for a friend tonight."

CJ nods, still inspecting the flowers.

"Okay, we better get going if we're going to make it to the wake on
time." Toby states.

"Alright, we've got a couple of limos waiting outside." Leo nods his
head.

"We're in Dayton, Ohio, and we have a couple of limos waiting
outside?" Toby asks in disbelief as he, Josh, Donna and Mrs. Bartlet
exit the room.

"Hold on a second, CJ." The President says as CJ grabs her purse off
the bed and is about to follow the crowd out of the door.

CJ turns around. "Yes, sir?"

Jed clears his throat and retrieves a small rectangular piece of
paper from his jacket pocket. " I've got something for you. Here,
just a little something from Abbey and I to help the Alzheimers'
Association."

CJ takes the cheque from Jed and examines it carefully, noticing that
it's not the typical Presidential cheques he usually used, but a
common cheque from ` Dr. and Mrs. Josiah Bartlet.' CJ looks up to
the President in pure disbelief after reading the written figure. "
Oh, sir, I'm sorry, but I can't accept this."

"Why not?" Jed asks honestly.

"Be, because, it's, it's too much." CJ protests, still not believing
that the President would do such a nice thing like this.

"I happen to be a very wealthy man, in case you hadn't known." Jed
winks, resting his hands in his pocket.

CJ takes in a deep breath. "I, I really appreciate this, sir. But,
but why did you do it?"
Jed shrugs. " Well, I didn't get you flowers."

"Really?"

"Honest. You know how hard it is for a President to get decent
service at a flower shop? I swear, I don't know how Abbey got some. "
He laughs softly. " I wanted to do something nice for you, and that
organization could use the money a lot more than I can."

CJ sighs, happily. " Thank you, sir." She didn't think she had ever
done it before, but she reached out and pulled the President into a
hug. "Thank you, for everything."

Toby pokes his head back in the door. "You guys coming?" He asks, as
he notices the President and CJ in an embrace.

CJ lets go of Jed and he smiles. " We best be leaving now."

CJ nods as Jed walks out the door past Toby.

Then Toby steps back outside and CJ follows him out.

"What was all that about?" Toby asks, taking CJ's hand as they walk
down the hall.

"The President gave me a very large cheque to give to the Alzheimers
Association." CJ smiles, thinking about how nice it was to have all
her co-workers here to support her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night was dragging on and on. Toby and the rest of the gang were
gathered in the corner of the room by the entrance, some of them
sitting on a couch against a wall. The President, Josh, and Donna
were seated on the couch, Abbey was resting against an arm of the
couch, and Leo and Toby were standing against the wall. From where
Toby stood, he could watch CJ standing up at the back of the room
beside the coffin, greeting all the well-wishers, along with her
brothers.

Hogan starts to make her way from the back of the room where
everybody was gathered, to the front of the room where Toby stood
with a small group of people she didn't recognize. She approaches the
group and gets the feeling that everybody's looking at her. "Hi,
Toby." She says softly. She had just wanted to get away from the
depression at the back of the room, but the group of people in front
of her looked just as depressed.

"Hey, kiddo. How's it going?" Toby says nonchalantly, getting the
feeling that Hogan was uncomfortable.

"Fine, fine. Everybody's getting pretty tired though, especially CJ."
She replies, glad Toby was talking to her.

"How do you know CJ?" Josh asks conversationally.

Hogan licks her lips and adjusts the collar on her blouse. " She's my
aunt."

Josh smiles, leaning forward from his position on the couch. " Then
you must be Hogan. I'm Josh Lyman. I work with your aunt."

"It's nice to meet you. Do you all… work at the Whitehouse?" Hogan
asks carefully, smoothing a wrinkle in her green skirt.


Abbey smiles. "All except me. Well, technically…"

Hogan's eyes dilate. " You're, you're… Dr. Bartlet." She states,
looking at Abbey in surprise. Her eyes eventually drift over to the
President. "Oh, oh my." She can't manage any more.

Toby's smiling as Jed stands up and offers the young girl his hand. "
Jed Bartlet, President of just about everything in this country.
Actually, I am President of this country. It's nice to meet you,
Hogan"

Hogan nervously shakes his hand, still in compete shock. "It's a
pleasure to meet you, Mr. President." She manages to get out.

"You don't have to call him `Mr. President' when he's on personal
business, Hogan." Toby smiles, thinking how it cute it was that the
young girl could get just as flustered as her aunt.

Jed rolls his eyes. " Now, Toby, the young lady can call me whatever
she likes. But, just since your CJ's niece, why don't you stick to
Mr. Bartlet?"

Hogan nods obediently. "Thank you, sir."

Toby pushes himself up off the wall. " While we're doing
introductions, Leo McGarrey, Chief of Staff and all around bad guy,
to my right. Josh Lyman you've already met. He's Deputy Chief of
Staff, although he doesn't often act like it. His assistant, Donna
beside him. And, Mrs. Bartlet speaks for herself. She is a woman who
needs no introduction. Everybody else ,in case you haven't already
picked up on it, this is Hogan Cregg, our dear CJ's niece."

Everybody seems to be smiling at Toby's heartfelt introductions.

"So," Josh begins. "You must be like 15 or 16 now, right?"

"Going on 18." Hogan replies courteously.

"Oh." Josh's face falls. "So, you in high school now? Are you on the
debate team? If you're not on the debate team, you should be, believe
me. It's a good club to get involved with." He really was only trying
to make conversation.

"Actually, Hogan goes to George Washington. She's studying journalism
and poli-sci." Toby smiles at the girl, hoping to remove some of the
awkwardness.

No one else could imagine how Toby knew that fact, but then again he
had been here for a few days and probably talked to Hogan a couple of
times.

"Oh, so maybe we'll see you around the Whitehouse one day, too."
Donna offers.

Hogan nods. " That would be a long-term goal of mine."

Leo shifts from his position on the wall. "Well, maybe not that long-
term. We have internship programs you could probably get involved in.
Talk to CJ about it if you're interested."

Hogan nods, still obviously uncomfortable.

Toby lets out a breath. "Okay, you want to go check on CJ with me?"
He looks to Hogan who immediately nods.


"It was very nice meeting you all." She says as she and Toby begin to
depart from the crowd.

Once they're out of earshot, Hogan's nervousness subsides. "Wow! I
knew you guys knew the President, but is he really here for
Grandpa's funeral?" She asks excitedly.

Toby smiles. " Yeah. Pretty nice, huh? He seemed to like you."

"I was a total idiot. I could barely even talk. I feel like I was
star struck." She laughs as she approaches the mourners.

Toby shakes his head. " You were fine. Believe me, we've seen plenty
worse. Let's put it this way, at least you're still conscious and not
lying on the floor in shock."

Hogan giggles as they make their way past the line up of people
waiting to speak to CJ and her brothers and offer them their
condolences.

Toby manages to catch CJ's eye from a few feet away. He leads Hogan
toward CJ, who at the moment, doesn't have someone talking to
her. "Hey, how are you?" Toby asks, touching her shoulder.

CJ sighs softly. " I'm fine. This is just getting to be too much. I
wish everybody would just leave." And she meant it. Earlier she had
thought that for once she was starting to feel better. But meeting
all of her father's family and old friends who liked to talk about
the `good old days' just saddened her more. She felt emotionally
strained, something she was getting used to more and more these days.

Toby smiles comfortingly.

"How you doin', sweetheart?" CJ asks Hogan.

Hogan shrugs. "Fine, I suppose. I met the President, which may not
seem like much to you, but it is to me. I met the President!"

CJ smiles proudly, watching the excitement on her niece's face. "And
you might be able to see more of him in the future. Now, I should
probably take Art and Donnie over to introduce them to the work gang.
Okay, I think I'm going to go find the Ladies Room and when I come
back hopefully there won't be a line up and I can make the
introductions and then we'll be able to go back to the hotel."

"Wow, you're pretty tired, aren't you?" Hogan asks concernedly.

"Yes, very." CJ replies. "Now, I'll be right back." She excuses
herself.

Toby puts his hands in his pockets and looks at the coffin. "I bet
you'll miss him." He says for the sake of talking.

Hogan nods, looking at the coffin, as well. " It doesn't look like
him. I hate looking at dead bodies. They never look like the person."
She almost seemed upset.

Toby looks at her concernedly. " You okay?"

"Yeah, I just want to get out of here, as well." She turns away from
staring at her grandfather.

"Well, it won't be long." Toby offers, not knowing another way to
comfort her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little while passes and CJ hasn't returned from going to the
restroom, so Toby decides to go and find her. Someone working at the
funeral home directs him down the stairs to the restrooms. Toby sits
on a couch near the restrooms and waits patiently for CJ. He stares
around the beige-coloured, well-kept room. Another couple of minutes
pass and she emerges from the Ladies Room.

"Hey." Toby stands up when CJ comes nearer.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" CJ asks.

Toby shrugs. "You've been down here a long time, I was worried.
Everything okay?"

CJ nods and sighs. " I just feel like I'm going to collapse at any
moment."

"Just take a moment and relax." Toby steps forward and takes CJ by
the elbow and guides her to sit on the couch. He sits beside
her. "How about a foot massage?"

CJ leans her head back and smiles. "Oh, Toby, not now. I have to…"

But Toby has already begun to remove her high heel .He pushes up the
cuff of her slacks and begins to slowly rub the arch of her foot.

CJ moans and leans further into the arm of the couch. "Toby, we
should really wait until we get back to the hotel."

Toby smiles, carefully pressing his thumb into CJ's swollen
flesh. "We're not doing anything wrong."

Just as CJ is about to relax and enjoy the attention, footfalls on
the staircase catch her attention. Josh and Donna are casually coming
down the stairs.

Josh smiles when he sees the two on the couch. " Hey, guys. Good to
see you're playing nice together."

Donna looks very confused to see Toby rubbing CJ's feet in a funeral
home. What exactly was going on between those two, and why was Josh
looking so goofy?

"Shut up, Josh." Toby says bitterly as Josh and Donna approach them.
Deep down, he knew Josh would be the one to keep them out of trouble
until they were ready to go public with their relationship.

CJ pulls her foot out of Toby's grip. "My, uh, my shoes were a little
tight. So, uh, who wants to go back upstairs?" She sits up straight
and finds her shoe and puts it back on.

Toby reluctantly stands up.

"Come on, I want to introduce you both to my brothers." CJ had
recovered from the embarrassment by being caught, and decided to lead
the group back upstairs. She motions with her hands until everybody
files up the stairs.

Once upstairs, CJ went and found her brothers. The crowd had died
down so she could easily pry them away from the visitors. She leads
them to the front of the room where the West Wingers were all sitting
and standing. "Okay, I figured it was time you all met." CJ glances
at her two brothers who looked as warn and beat as she did. "
Alright, everybody these are my brothers Arthur and Donnie. Art,
Donnie…" She takes them through the group of people and everyone
shakes their hands as they are introduced. "Leo McGarrey, Chief of
Staff. Joshua Lyman, Deputy Chief of Staff. His assistant, Donna
Moss. Of course you all know Hogan. " She smiles at her niece. "Uh…
Toby Ziegler you've obviously already met. And last but certainly not
least, President Bartlet and First Lady, Dr. Abigail Bartlet."

Everybody finishes up shaking hands.

"It's an honour, sir." Art says as he shakes the President's hand.

"Well, it's always a pleasure to meet CJ's family. We're all so sorry
about your father. I know he was a good man."

Donnie looks back toward the coffin. " Yes, he was. We appreciate you
coming all the way up here."

Jed smiles. " Well, anything for our CJ. Now, it is getting late and
we must be going. But, we'll see you all tomorrow."

Everybody exchanges goodbyes and the gang heads out but Art and
Donnie stay a little longer to greet the last few guests. CJ is so
glad when Toby puts his hand on her back and leads her out of the
building.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CJ hadn't made it back to the hotel by herself. She had fallen asleep
as soon as she got in the car, and Toby had to half-carry, half-drag
her into the hotel. Eventually she started to drift back to
consciousness as they entered the foyer, but she could barely stand
up and keep her eyes open. In the foyer of the Main Entrance to the
hotel, CJ and Toby met up with the rest of the Staffers who had also
gotten rooms at the hotel.

"We're leaving via Air Force One at around nine pm tomorrow evening.
If you two would like to join us, we can arrange to have your car
driven back to Washington." Leo offers as he turns to Toby and CJ.

Toby nods, looking at CJ who had to lean on him to support her
exhausted body. He didn't know what had tired her so quickly, but it
could have been the accumulation of events of the last few
days. "Okay, sounds good. I, uh, better get her upstairs." He knew
everyone was staring at him supporting her. He also knew that it was
uncustomary for her to be this way, and that everyone was suspicious
of what was going on between himself and CJ.

"Okay. My room's on the same floor as yours, I'll follow you." Josh
says. " Good night all." He calls back.

Everyone else says good night and heads to their respective rooms.
Toby, Josh and CJ head to the elevator.

"Ya know, Toby. Everybody's starting to catch onto you and CJ." Josh
says conversationally as they wait for the elevator.

Toby sighs, letting CJ rest against the wall. " I know. It's, it's
not that easy to cover up. We're becoming so close and…and it's hard
to pretend we're not." He clears his throat, thinking that he's
confessed to much.

The elevator dings and they begin to climb into the empty elevator.

Josh helps Toby get a dozing CJ into the compartment. " I'm just
saying, they're starting to wonder. Mrs. Bartlet pointed out earlier
today that your suite had only one bed and no couch. She said that
was the way it was supposed to be." Josh laughs to himself.

Toby sighs again. " I know, I know. Look, I'm sorry you have to be in
this situation, what with not being able to tell and all."

" It is very hard to keep this a secret. But, if that's what you guys
want… All I'm saying is, you shouldn't wait. I don't think anyone
will not approve of you guys." Josh shrugs.

"I don't care whether or not they approve of us, but I would like
them to accept it. It's just, even if they did approve of us, and
even if we did go public, there's always going to people who will say
it's wrong for two senior staffers to be having a relationship."

Josh shrugs. " Don't listen to them, Toby. They have no idea what
they're talking about, and they're jealous and have nothing better
to do. And more importantly, isn't the look in her eyes when you
tell her you love her worth all the rumours and lies the press can
come up with? "

Toby looked at Josh, seeing the sincerity. All he can do is nod as
the lift stops and the doors open. He turns to CJ beside him. "Honey,
wake up. You've got to help me out here. Come on. You can go to sleep
in two minutes, I promise." Toby turns to Josh and shrugs. "It's
futile." He picks CJ up, letting the top of her body fall over his
shoulder.

Josh laughs. "Good luck, buddy. See ya in the morning."

"Yeah." Toby calls back as he moves down the hall toward his room.

Toby somehow manages to support CJ and unlock the door at the same
time. He shoves his shoulder into the door and it opens for him. He
sighs as he walks over to the bed and gently sets CJ down, moving her
up to the pillows.

"Okay, sweetheart. Here we are. Let's get you ready for bed." He
looks around the room, wondering where she had put her pajamas. He
walks over to the dresser and searches there, but can't find them. He
checks her bag and the bathroom and the pajamas are nowhere to be
found.

Toby sighs, too tired now to keep looking. He goes back to the
dresser and takes out one of his cotton button-downs. He goes back to
the bed and climbs in beside CJ. He removes her suit jacket and then
proceeds to undress her all the way. When she's down to her underwear
and hasn't moved, he slips his shirt over her and bends down to kiss
her forehead. After adjusting the blankets over her, he heads to the
bathroom to get himself ready for bed.

A few minutes pass and Toby returns from getting ready, throwing the
clothes he had worn that day on the floor, and climbing into his side
of the bed, prepared to crawl under the covers and go to sleep. But
then he looks at CJ's content face and remembers something. He sighs
and rolls his eyes.

Toby begins to gently shake CJ's shoulder. "Honey, honey, wake up for
a minute. Your contacts… you forgot to take your contacts out. CJ,
honey."

Eventually CJ scrunches up her face in displeasure and moans. " What?"

"You have to sit up a sec'. You gotta take out your contacts." Toby
explains softly, rubbing her shoulder.

CJ slowly sits up. "You woke me up for that?"

"Yes, other wise you'd wake up very uncomfortable. Now, where's your
case?"

CJ takes in a deep breath and has to think. "In my cosmetic bag."

Toby quickly retrieves the contact lens case from her cosmetic bag in
the bathroom and returns back to his spot on the bed. He hands her
the case and she proceeds to take out her contacts.

"Can I go to sleep now?" CJ half-whines as she hands Toby the case
back when she's taken the contacts out.

Toby smiles, setting the case on the night stand and crawling under
the covers beside her. " Yes, you can go to sleep right after you
kiss me good night."

"How `bout I kiss you goodbye?" CJ teases, curling into Toby and
wrapping her arms around him.

Toby fakes hurt. "Hey, that's not fair."

CJ smiles. " You're right. I don't know how I ever function without
you. You're amazing, ya know that? Carrying me upstairs when I could
barely walk and remembering to get me to take my contacts out." She
looks down and suddenly notices the shirt he put on her. "…Changing
me into something that isn't my normal night attire."

" Well, I couldn't find your pajamas. I was also going to suggest for
you to wash your face and brush your teeth, but I could see how tired
you were." Toby whispers playfully.

CJ yawns and pulls Toby closer. " I'd love to stay up and continue
this conversation, but I'm about to pass out."

Toby runs his fingers through her hair. " Okay, baby, just go to
sleep. I love you." And he knew it was true, and that nobody could
change that. And that even if after telling everyone about their
relationship, he and CJ wouldn't regret it because nothing felt
better than seeing the look in her eyes while he told her he loved
her.

Part 10

The next morning, CJ opens the door to her suite to see Donna
standing in front of her, dressed in her best dark dress.

CJ smiles. " Hey, I didn't expect you to be ready so soon." CJ
herself was ready because she had beat Toby to the bathroom. She
smiles warmly and motions for Donna to come inside.

Donna shrugs and steps inside. " I was up early. Josh snores."

CJ eyes her suspiciously. " Josh snores?"

Donna nods. " Yeah, but only when he's tired, sick or drunk… or a
combination of all three."

CJ shakes her head, not understanding this. " Have a seat." She
points to the arm chair resting against the wall the door was
on. "Uh, I didn't know you and Josh were sharing a room."

"Oh, oh we weren't…" Donna sits on the chair and places her purse in
her lap. "The hotel people gave my room to someone else. I went up to
the room that was supposed to be mine last night and, well, there
were other people occupying it. There were no extra rooms available,
so they offered to give me the night free if I could find someone to
stay with." She sighs. "So, I trudged my way up to Josh's room and
asked if I could stay with him. Luckily he had a couch."

"Wow, well, that sucks."

"What does?" Josh asks as he saunters in the open door.

CJ takes a seat on the edge of the bed. " The hotel gave Donna's room
to someone else and she had to stay on your couch." CJ explains their
conversation.

Josh puts his hand up in defence. " Hey, she didn't sleep on my
couch, she slept in my bed." Josh looks from CJ to Donna.

CJ grins mischievously.

"Hey, hey that's not what I meant!" Josh defends himself after seeing
CJ's smile.

"Good going, Josh." Donna remarks sarcastically.

Josh rolls his eyes. " Unlike some people, I was a gentleman and gave
Donna my bed in her time of need. I took the couch."

"Good going, Josh." Toby smiles teasingly as he comes out of the
bathroom, obviously having caught Josh's last explanation.

Josh takes a deep breath. "At least I didn't sleep with her."

"Right, because that would be bad." Toby teases, joining CJ on the
bed.

"A queen-sized bed is made for two, Josh." CJ smiles suggestively.

Donna sighs. " Can we please talk about anything else?"

"Where's everyone else?" Toby asks, retrieving his suit jacket and
CJ's mini-jacket from a drawer.

"I imagine they'll be up soon. We told them to meet here, right?"
Josh fold his hands together, leaning against a space on the wall
beside Donna.

CJ nods, accepting her jacket from Toby and placing it over her black
sleeveless. " But we've got to hurry up or we'll be late. I imagine
that wouldn't look too good on my part."

Jed, Abbey and Leo step into the room, in a line.

Jed smiles. " I don't anticipate we'll be late, seeing as we're all
here now."

Toby and Donna immediately rise out of their seats.

CJ stands up. "Good morning ,Mr. President. I hadn't meant to be
disrespectful by..."

Jed smiles warmly, again. " I didn't think you were disrespectful,
CJ. Now, shall we go?"

Toby nods then looks at CJ. " You ready to go?"

CJ takes in a deep breath and forces herself to nod. This would be
the last chance she had to say goodbye to her father.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby sat with CJ in the first row of pews at the church, holding her
hand comfortingly during the ceremony. He glances around the packed
church, silently wondering how all these people had known Tal. He
assumed some were his former students, maybe his former girlfriends,
as well. The ceremony was beautiful and the priest was an eloquent
orator. It was obvious he had known Tal quite well.

Toby glances to his left and sees Donnie, totally absorbed in the
eulogy the priest was giving. Toby remembered that CJ had told him
that neither her or her brothers wanted to give the eulogy for fear
of becoming too emotional. Well, that wasn't her brothers' excuse,
but it was certainly hers. Toby turns his head to the side and sees
his co-workers in a pew further back, not quite as emotional as some
of the people in the first few rows. He looks to his right, and
beside CJ, Hogan sat silently crying beside her father.




I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

The priest drones on. " Some of you will remember Tal from his days
as head of the math department at William Henry Harrison Jr. High.
And a couple of you will remember his courageous fight in Korea…"


Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

CJ thought about how her father would hold her in his lap and rock
her on the porch swing. She remembered when he used to help her with
her homework…How he used to always show them pictures of their mother
throughout various stages in her life. She remembered that whenever
the date of her mother's birth came along ,her father would make them
pray for her and spend the entire day accounting for all the things
their mother had blessed them with. CJ could still smell the Old
Spice he wore daily. She hated that she hadn't quite her job to be
with him. She hated letting him die without him knowing just how much
she loved and admired him.…

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

CJ's father had always told her never to forget the people in her
life who had went out of their way to help her. Never forget anyone
who cares about you. Never forget. Don't take life for granted, don't
dwell on the past. Never regret, and never forget.

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

She had wanted to tell him that she wanted him closer to her. She had
needed him there with his guidance and support. He had needed her
around to help him remember, to ease his weary mind…to make sure he
ate breakfast and washed behind his ears. Nobody could understand her
guilt, not unless they had been there before, so what was the use in
explaining it to someone, even if she wanted to? She was damn sick
and tired of all this. It was over, but it was only the beginning of
the grieving process.

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

She could vaguely hear the priest. "Talmidge Cregg will never be
forgotten. He'd never want us to forget. He'd want us to move on and
remember, but never dwell. He'd want us to keep on loving, like he
did."

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

She hadn't wanted to fall in love with Toby. She hadn't wanted to
have to experience the heartache it would cause her if she lost
another person she loved. But you couldn't stop loving. Her father
had lived and breathed that belief, and he had set that example for
his children. He had been her world when she was young, the very
foundation of who she was to become-the person she is today.



And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

She had to stop feeling this way. Had to stop thinking about what all
the other mourners were thinking-the memories they all shared with
her father and how they had touched his life and how he had touched
their lives. CJ vowed she was going to stop crying and start living
by the morals he had instilled in her.

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories

The priest pauses at the podium and clears his throat. " We will now
have Tal's daughter, Claudia Jean, read a poem." He gently motions
for her to come up.

CJ removes her hand from Toby's and steps over Donnie and out of the
pew as she makes her way to the front where the coffin lie, holding
in her hand a piece of paper.

She takes a deep breath as she calms her nerves. She was so afraid
she wouldn't make it through this without breaking down. She licks
her lips and begins.

"When I come to the end of the road and the sun has set for me, I
want no rites in a gloom-filled room. Why cry for a soul that is
free? Miss me a little but not too long ,and not with your head bowed
low. Remember the love that we once shared. Miss me-but let me go."
She sucks in the stale air, searching for something to dry the tears
that were plaguing her eyes and making it hard to read the poem.

After a second she goes on. " For this is a journey that we all must
take, and each must go alone .It's all a part of the master plan ,a
step on the road home. When you are lonely and sick of heart, go to
the friends we know. And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds, miss
me-but let me go." CJ brings her hand to cover her mouth as she
quickly walks back to her seat.

As soon as she is sitting, CJ breaks into tremulous sobbing. Toby
gathers her into her arms, getting the feeling that everybody was
watching them. He had wanted to be up there with her, although he
knew that was inappropriate. He had wanted to be there and tell her
that it was alright and no one expected her to be strong. He had
wanted to hold her. Needless to say, neither he or CJ heard the rest
of the speech the priest was giving, just the end part where he
dismissed them and invited everyone to the Honour Guard arranged at
the near-by cemetery.

Toby led a sobbing CJ down the aisle between the pews as everyone
began to file out. He had to support her under her elbows because she
was starting to lose the ability to walk and compose herself. Once
out of the chapel, Toby leads CJ down a hallway and then into a
smaller hallway where they could be alone. He isolated her from
everybody else and wrapped his arms around her while gently easing
her against the wall to make her feel protected. He just held her
close to him and let her cry and shake and let go of all the emotions
she was experiencing, knowing she was sheltered from any spectators.

CJ could not remember a time where she had felt so much and so little
at the same time. It was as if suddenly her brain had just stopped
all sensory sensations and she was living in a vacuum and all she
could feel were hot tears stinging her face and Toby's hands gently
rubbing her hips. Somewhere in the distance she could hear all the
other visitors…know that they would be looking for her to come to go
to the interment.

Meanwhile, standing just outside the chapel, the President, First
Lady, Josh, Donna and Leo stand around amongst the other visitors
waiting for them to be directed to go to the cemetery.

"Did anyone see where CJ and Toby went?" Josh asks, thinking that he
had just seen the two rush down the hall, but not sure.

Abbey stares down the hallway that she too had seen CJ and Toby go
down. " Yeah, I think they went that way. CJ looked pretty…unglued."

Jed sighs dramatically. "Poor thing. It's not fair. But, it was a
lovely service."

Abbey takes in a deep breath and turns to face Jed. " How about we go
see if we can find them?"

Jed looks puzzled. " Why, dear?"

"Well, we should just go get them. We have to be going soon, and they
obviously need to come. Come on, let's go. But…let's leave the detail
behind. Sorry boys." She smiles at the two guards trying to blend in
with the crowd beside them. One of them nods respectively.

Jed shrugs likes he's been defeated. "Okay. We'll be back in a
moment. Don't leave without us."

"We couldn't even if we wanted to, sir." Leo says in all seriousness.

"Watch it, Leo." The President jokes.

Abbey leads him away from the group by the arm. "Come on, dear…"

"So, why are we doing this, again?" Jed asks as they descend down the
hallway.

"Because, I'm concerned about CJ, and wondering why she and Toby are
so chummy." Abbey says bluntly. They come to the end of the hallway
and the beginning of another one. Abbey pokes her head around the
corner to see CJ pressed up against a wall with her arms around Toby
and her head buried in his neck. It is obvious she is crying and he
is trying to console her. Abbey gasps slightly.

Jed places a hand on his wife's shoulder and they slowly make their
way toward Toby and CJ.

Their footfalls catch CJ's attention and she turns her tear-drenched
face toward them. Her eyes immediately widen and she reddens in
embarrassment.

"Hi, honey. We just wanted to come check on you and tell you that
they want us to start leaving soon." Abbey walks closer to them.

CJ looks at Toby briefly who quickly realizes that she wants him to
release her given the awkward situation. He takes his hands off her
mid drift and looks at Jed and Abbey.

"Thank you, ma'am." CJ manages, not really looking at Abbey.

Jed clears his throat. " I know this is totally inappropriate and my
wife will probably severely reprimand me for asking this especially
under the circumstances, but, is, is there something going on between
the two of you that we should know about? I mean, if there was, that
would be perfectly alright. And, and don't feel that you have to give
me an answer now because I know this isn't the time or place and I
shouldn't even be asking this. But, if it makes any difference, I'm
asking as a friend, not as President or as your employer."

Abbey glares at Jed, but is secretly surprised that he had even asked
the question. It was usually her who liked to meddle in people's
lives.

Toby looks at CJ, thinking that since Josh already knew, CJ would
probably be comfortable being honest with the President. He tries to
find her glance, but it's on the floor. He takes in a small breath
and turns back to the President and Abbey. " We don't have a lot of
time to discuss this, but, yes, there is…something. That is, CJ and I
are together, and I love her very much. I hope that you will support
us, and I can assure you that our personal lives will not interfere
with our professional ones. But, but I do love her." CJ is now
looking at Toby.

Abbey is looking at CJ watching Toby. She smiles. " CJ?"

CJ's eyes now never waver from Toby's. " Yes, yes. I love him, too.

Jed smiles warmly. "Good. Because if you both weren't serious about
each other, I just may have disapproved. Now, I think they need you
to get going, CJ."

Abbey clasps her hands together and smiles excitedly. " Oh, this is
just too wonderful."

"Abbey…" Jed warns.

Abbey only has to look at the tears still on CJ's cheeks and she
remembers where she is. But none of that mattered because two people
she cared deeply about finally realized they care deeply about each
other.

Part 11

After the funeral, there had been a small reception, and after that
everyone had went their separate ways. CJ had been silent after her
emotional outburst at the service, and when she and Toby had gotten
back to their hotel suite, she had unhesitatingly opted to take a
long nap after throwing up several times in the bathroom.

But it was getting later in the evening now and they were going to be
boarding the airplane soon to head back to D.C. Toby had taken the
liberty of packing their things while she slept. It just seemed like
she was emotionally drained. He hated crawling over his side of the
bed and gently shaking her shoulder to wake her. "Honey, time to get
up and get dressed and ready to leave."

CJ mumbles inaudibly.

Toby smiles and settles in behind her. He wraps the arm he isn't
supporting himself with around her to curl around her waist and pull
her back closer into his chest.

"Do we have to go yet?" CJ whines. "Sure going home means going back
to a comfortable and welcomed routine, but it also means going back
to a place where people don't want to see us together." She places a
hand over Toby's arm so he wouldn't remove it right away.

Toby sighs softly. " Half the battle's already won, honey. Josh
knows, the President and Mrs. Bartlet know. It'll be okay. I promise
I'll find a way for us to live together even if it means having to
resign and be a freelance speechwriter and politician."

CJ had to smile at Toby's comment. She couldn't imagine him as the
starving artist type, but she guessed at one point that's what he
used to be. But, she'd never let him resign, and neither would the
President.

At that point, Josh knocks quickly on the door and opens it, Donna
filing into the room after him. Josh jumps back slightly at the sight
of CJ and Toby in an intimate pose in bed together.

"Jeez, you guys gotta stop doing that." Josh groans and turns to
face the open door.

Donna just looks speechless.

"You gotta learn how to knock louder… and wait for someone to
acknowledge the knock." Toby says in irritation, sitting up slightly.

Josh turns back around to face the bed. " I'm, I'm sorry. It's just,
we're kinda in a hurry. We need to leave very soon."

CJ begins to sit up as well, loosening Toby's hold on her. "Okay,
thanks , guys. I, I just need to get dressed. I just woke up from a
nap."

"Is that what you guys were doing?" Donna asks in all seriousness.
She had a huge feeling she was missing something, here.

Toby sighs in exasperation, sitting up completely, but hating having
to let go of CJ. " No, we were not napping. We… I was waking… Where
are we meeting?"

"In the lobby. The driver's waiting." Josh answers.

CJ nods. "Okay, we'll be down there in a few minutes."

Josh nods. "Alright. See ya, then." He and Donna leave, feeling kind
of awkward.

Once the door shuts, Toby pulls CJ back into a hug and she sighs.

"We've gotta be more careful." She states.

Toby rolls his eyes. " We've gotta start locking our doors." He
smiles. " I guess we better get ready. I left out your jeans for you
to wear on the plane ride home."

CJ nods. " Thanks. Okay, let's do this." She wiggles out of Toby's
hold.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Donna carefully closes the door to the Press room in the plane behind
her and slowly makes her way inside. CJ is sitting in one of the
seats near the front of the room, bent over a pile of papers and
folders, alone. "Hey," Donna calls softly.

CJ looks up and smiles softly. " Hey, what's up?"

Donna shrugs, coming closer to CJ. " Are you busy?"

"Just reading some material Josh brought me. God, I've missed work
these last couple of days. Too much personal reflection and not
enough solid, hard facts to learn." She smiles at the last statement,
but Donna knew it was true that CJ would rather work any day than
have to deal with inner emotions. Who wouldn't?

"Can it wait a minute?" Donna asks hopefully.

CJ looks up again and sees that Donna obviously wants to talk. "Of
course. I'm not going into the office tonight. What's on your mind?"
She adjust the papers in her lap.

Donna sits on the chair facing CJ in the row in front of her. " I was
just wondering if there was something going on between you and Toby
that I should know about. Because lately I've been sensing something,
and I'm starting to feel out of the loop, because I think other
people are sensing it too, but they're not saying anything. So, are
you and Toby like… is there..do you... ya know?"

CJ has to smile because Donna didn't feel awkward, she just couldn't
get the words right. " Yes, Toby and I are together, if that's what
you mean."

"What? For how long? Why didn't you tell me this?" Donna looks
surprised now. She had expected CJ to flatly deny everything.

CJ turns defensive. " We've only been going out for about two weeks.
And we didn't purposely not tell you, we didn't want to tell anyone
at first. We weren't sure how far this was going to go, or how the
press would react. In fact, we're still not sure how the public will
react to this. We're worried that they may spin it and say that the
President is getting sloppy and doesn't discipline his staff."

"Well, it's none on their business, and it's not the President's job
to keep his staff from having relationships." Donna says, starting to
getting her head around the idea of CJ and Toby together.

"You're right, that's Leo's job." CJ says bitterly. "Telling him will
be a whole other issue."

"Who else knows?"

"Just the President, First Lady and Josh." CJ replies, her mind not
really on the question.

Donna looks slightly hurt. " You told the President before you told
me?"

CJ rolls her eyes slightly. "Oh, please, Donna. We told the
President because it could affect him. And well, you don't want to
know how Josh found out. Although if you convinced him to tell you
the story I'd pay money to see the expression on his face as he told
it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but we weren't ready. Believe
me when I say it was nothing personal."

Donna nods. " I know. I know you didn't purposely hide anything from
me. It's just, I always thought we could tell each other these kinds
of things."

"We can, and we will continue to. But let's get one thing straight:
If I'm going to dish you out the details about Toby and I'
relationship, you've got to give me the play -by- play of you and
Josh." She smiles widely.

Donna rolls her eyes and blushes slightly. "Nothing will ever happen
between Josh and I. He thinks of me as his assistant… or little
sister."

"He so does not look at you like a little sister, or an assistant.
You're one of his most trusted friends, he cares about you so much,
and you've got him wrapped around your finger without even knowing."
CJ smiles warmly.

Donna shakes her head defensively.

CJ laughs lightly. "Come on! He looks at you like he could jump you
at any minute."

Donna gasps in shock at CJ's comment. " CJ!"

CJ gives her an innocent shrug as a knock is heard at the door.

Donna is still quite shocked so CJ yells for the caller to come in.

Leo pokes his head in the door. " Hi, guys. The President wants us
all in his room for a minute."

Donna turns around to face Leo. "Me, too?"

Leo shrugs. " Yeah, I guess so."

"Come on." CJ stands up and has to pull a still surprised Donna out
of her seat.

They travel down the elite corridors of Air Force One until they
reach the Presidential compartment. They walk into the room to see
The President and Abbey sitting in seats beside the windows and Josh
sitting lazily in a seat near them. Toby stands beside the door
against the wall.
"Ah, good to see you all again. Come on in, don't be shy." The
President makes a friendly gesture for CJ, Donna and Leo to come
inside.

Leo and Donna both casually walk over to Josh and CJ stands beside
Toby against the wall.

Jed smiles and looks around the room. "You probably all can't wait to
get back to your homes. You all look pretty tired…But not you, CJ.
You look like you're raring to go, there."

CJ smiles and notices she's still carrying the folders she had been
reading. " I'm just excited to get back to reading up for my briefing
tomorrow, sir."

"Never a day of rest, hmm?" Jed cocks an eyebrow teasingly.

"Absolutely not, sir. That Press room would turn into the death of
this administration if I wasn't there to control it." CJ says in
modest pride.

Jed shakes his head affectionately and turns to look out the window.
He pauses for a momentbefore turning back to the crowd. " Would you
all take a look out one of these windows? Just look outside, you can
barely see a thing. It's as if nothing is going on down below us. You
know, there is nothing more romantic than a plane ride at night."

Toby steps forward from his position against the wall. " Except for
maybe a boat ride in the dark…a candlelit dinner…red roses…Sinatra…"

"Think about that a lot there, Toby?" Abbey teases then turns to
smile at her husband sitting across from her.

Toby shrugs, then turns to look at CJ. She was so close and he wanted
to reach out and take her hand in his.

"So is that why you like flying at night, Mr. President? I mean,
because it's romantic?" Josh asks with a smile, sitting up in his
seat.

Jed turns to look at Abbey. " Abbey and I met on a commercial flight.
It was a very late flight, and they forgot to give Abbey a pillow.
So, I noticed that she was trying to go to sleep but just couldn't
get to sleep because she didn't have a comfortable pillow. So, I got
up out of my seat and went and offered her my pillow."

Abbey smiles mischievously. " Yeah, and when you bent to kiss me I
threw the pillow in your face."

Jed looks confused. "Really? That's not how I remember it."

"Yes, because I ended up bopping you quite hard in the nose with it
and you started to swell." Abbey smiles, remembering the memory.

Jed smiles coyly. " That's right. So you took me into the lavatory
and put water on it. And in that very enclosed space our bodies were
pushed together, and I finally did get my kiss of appreciation."

CJ looks at Toby and smiles widely, indicating that she thought it
was funny how the President and First Lady had met.

"You never told us that story before." Josh states, looking from Jed
to Abbey.

"You should feel lucky." Leo says sarcastically.

"I think it's sweet." Donna smiles and blushes a little.

"Thank you, dear." Abbey turns toward Donna.

Jed clears his throat. " You want to know the real reason why I like
late night flights? It's because I can look out this window and not
see people rushing around like their life depended on getting to
that designated place on time. I can look outside and see nothing and
therefore not have to think of anything. When we look outside at
night from an airplane, it's like looking at a world on `Pause'.
Nobody's thinking about getting that last member of congress to
approve the new bill." He looks at Josh. " Nobody's thinking about
how a new relationship will be viewed by the public." He looks toward
CJ and Toby who had unconsciously made their way closer
together. "Nobody's worrying. For one brief moment we can truly be in
the moment. We can take the time to think about what matters to us as
people, not as professionals. Maybe we're thinking about our
families, or how we'd like to get home to watch that softball match.
Maybe we're thinking about what it would be like to be curled up in
the arms of a loved one." Jed smiles to himself. " I don't think
Frank Sinatra or red roses can make you think about all that, can
they, Toby?"

Toby looks at the ground and smiles softly. "No, no sir. I digress.
Planes, planes are romantic." He doesn't want to look up and see CJ
because he's afraid he'll reach out and grab her and kiss her. It had
been so hard for him these last few days. They had been able to spend
so much time together, but he couldn't really get close to her for
fear of it being inappropriate in her time of grieving. But thinking
about looking out that still window and only wanting to hold her only
made him want her more.

Everybody seems silent.

Jed clears his throat again. He tires easier these days. " Now, I
can't remember what I wanted to discuss with all of you, but I'm sure
it wasn't romantic plane rides, so you're all welcome to go back to
wherever you were before and resume your previous activities."

CJ turns to Toby and whispers in his ear. " Come back to the Press
room with me."

Toby nods and follows CJ out of the room. When they're safely inside
the press room, CJ shuts the door and presses her back against it,
dropping her work on the floor.

"He's right, you know." CJ is breathing heavily and starts speaking
quickly. " The President's right. We spend too much time worrying
about the future, what's going to happen tomorrow… or next week. Or,
or, we dwell on things in the past that we can't change… people we
would have liked to have spent more time with. We, we don't just look
outside… We never get a sense of peace. Before you, I couldn't
remember when I'd ever experience a real moment of piece. This
weekend reiterated what I think I've always know,-that you really do
love me. God, Toby, I don't know what I ever would have done without
you this weekend. I wasn't myself, I hated myself, but somehow you
made that okay." She steps away from the door and closer to Toby who
is standing in front of the first row of seats. " These last few days
have been some of the worst of my life, but we've grown even closer.
I, I don't know how I can ever go to sleep without being in the same
bed as you." She smiles, slightly embarrassed.

Toby reaches out and takes CJ's hands in his. " We never have to
spend a night apart, you know that."

CJ takes in a deep breath. " I know, but it won't be easy. But it's
worth it. Because the nights I spend with you are like no other, and
I could never imagine going back to the way I used to be. Just
crawling into your arms makes me feel so…relaxed. It'll be difficult,
but we can do this, right?"

"Absolutely. Because I sleep so much better with you beside me, too.
We, we may not always get to wake up and enjoy a nice morning in bed
together like we had this weekend, but there'll be the occasional
Sunday morning. And in some ways, we have an advantage that a lot of
couple don't have. We work together, and even though in our case that
isn't always a good thing, at least it means we can see each other
all the time. I know we have to wake up early, and we don't get home
until late in the evening and by then we're too tired to really want
to do anything, but we still get a lot of time together. So, we can
work this out." Toby rubs her hands.

CJ nods, calming down. She then turns back to look into Toby's
eyes. " I love you. You know that, right?"

Toby smiles and huffs. " Of course. And you know that I love you and
that that'll never change."

CJ nods. "Good." She tilts her head and bends in for a kiss. Toby
readily accepts her and after a second she is guiding him on to a
seat, and after another second she is straddling him on the seat,
thinking that it's been too long since they've had a really good kiss.

But they are oblivious to the sound of the door opening and the
President walking in. Jed stands in the frame for a minute until he
finally decides this is too much for him to watch, so he clears his
throat. When neither Toby nor CJ respond to throaty noises, he
sighs. " Why is it I'm beginning to feel like I'm stuck on a sick
pornographic film set?"

That got their attention. CJ breaks off and spins around and Toby
sits up. "Mr. President," CJ mumbles in pure mortification.

Jed's knowing smile deceives what he is about to say. " I mean, come
on, you two. This isn't `One Life To Live' or `General Hospital'.
Nah, I'm just teasing. I remember what it was like to be young and in
love. Just save stuff like that for your bedroom next time, and not
the Presidential aircraft, agreed?"

Toby relaxes, relieved the President wasn't going to fire them on the
spot or something. " Yes, sir, of course. We're sorry."

CJ, sensing that she ought to get out of Toby's lap, shifts herself
onto the seat beside Toby. "Uh, sir, how do you know about `General
Hospital' and `One Life to Live'?"

Jed shrugs. " I read. Anyway, I came to tell you that you your cat
got out of its carrying cart and is now roaming Air Force One by
itself."

"Oh my God. He hasn't gotten into trouble yet, has he?" CJ stands up.

"No, he hasn't. But you should probably go look for him before he
gets hurt."

CJ nods. "Okay, uh, how did you find out that he got loose?"

Jed shifts. "One of the Secret Service Agents saw the cat running but
couldn't catch it, so he came and asked me if there was supposed to
be a cat on this flight, and I said I didn't know. So, I checked with
Leo and he said that you were taking your father's cat home with you."

CJ sighs softly. " Yeah. I'm sorry if this has caused you and sort of
inconvenience. I suppose I should have asked first before bringing
him on the plane."

"Don't worry about it. Just go find your cat." Jed smiles warmly.

"Thank you, sir." And she was grateful. She was grateful for
everything he did for her. He may not be perfect, but Josiah Bartlet
came pretty close, and when he didn't, he could certainly make up for
it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby and CJ arrive back at his apartment late that night and
immediately get ready for bed. As soon as she walks into Toby's
bedroom, CJ begins to strip off her clothes, then jump into bed. It
was just so natural now for her to think of this as her bedroom. Toby
heads toward the bathroom to get ready for bed, but CJ just crawls
under the covers, having already brushed her teeth and washed her
face on the plane. She wraps the green sheets around her and inhales
the familiarity, thinking that she was home.

Archimedes casually strolls in through the open bedroom door and
climbs on top of the bed and CJ has to laugh at him. " I guess you're
home now, aren't you?" She smiles, petting the feline.

Toby opens the bathroom door and steps into the bedroom, smiling at
CJ and her last comment. " Aren't you, too?"

CJ looks up and smiles warmly and lazily at Toby, allowing herself to
melt into the pillow. "Yes, I'm home. As long as you want this to be
my home."

Toby crawls onto his side of the bed begins to rub CJ's shoulder. "
Of course I do. Now, we're both exhausted so let's just go to sleep
and hope for a good day tomorrow, okay? I love you."

CJ nods and curls into, pushing the cat off the bed. She wraps her
arms around him and gives into the exhaustion that has been plaguing
her all weekend. She wasn't going to think about her father tonight,
just about being home….

The End.

    Source: geocities.com/ww_executive_branch