Title: In the Early Days Author: Laura H Rating: R( for implied sex) Pairing CJ/Leo Category: Romance Spoilers: 17 People, Fall’s Gonna Kill You, 18th and Potomac, Two Cathedrals… hope I didn’t miss any Synopsis: CJ POV drabblish fluff. At a horrible time, CJ seeks comfort in a friend. Disclaimer: If I owned them, the administration wouldn’t be ending next year. Author’s note: The song is there just because it’s beautiful and appropriate. It’s by Air Supply. I know just how to whisper, and I know just how to cry; I know just where to find the answers; and I know just how to lie. I know just how to fake it, and I know just how to scheme; I know just when to face the truth, and then I know just when to dream. And I know just where to touch you, and I know just what to prove; I know when to pull you closer, and I know when to let you loose. And I know the night is fading, and I know that time's gonna fly; and I'm never gonna tell you everything I've got to tell you, but I know I've got to give it a try. And I know the roads to riches, and I know the ways to fame; I know all the rules and then I know how to break 'em and I always know the name of the game. But I don't know how to leave you, and I'll never let you fall; and I don't know how you do it, making love out of nothing at all (Making love) out of nothing at all, (making love) out of nothing at all, (making love) out of nothing at all, (making love) out of nothing at all, (making love) out of nothing at all (making love) out of nothing at all. Every time I see you all the rays of the sun are streaming through the waves in your hair; and every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes like a spotlight, The beating of my heart is a drum, and it's lost and it's looking for a rhythm like you. You can take the darkness from the pit of the night and turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright. I've got to follow it, 'cause everything I know, well it's nothing till I give it to you. I can make the run or stumble, I can make the final block; And I can make every tackle, at the sound of the whistle, I can make all the stadiums rock. I can make tonight forever, Or I can make it disappear by the dawn; And I can make you every promise that has ever been made, And I can make all your demons be gone. But I'm never gonna make it without you, Do you really want to see me crawl? And I'm never gonna make it like you do, Making love out of nothing at all. (Making love) out of nothing at all It all started with “our evenings” . Those Saturday or Sunday nights every so often, maybe every couple weeks where we’d take a couple hours off and just sit in his office and vent and enjoy each other’s company. It was a perfect opportunity for him to whine about his failed marriage and how he didn’t get to spend enough time with Mallory. And for me, well I just liked to complain about Danny and our completely unfair “conflict of interest”. We would order in pizza or Chinese or have Margaret run to the Mess if it wasn’t late and she was still working, but usually we like to wait until it was well past closing time and everyone had gone home for the night so no one would learn how we spent our weekends. It was nice to have someone to talk to so I wouldn’t have to go home to my lonely, cold apartment every night. It was nice to be able to walk into Leo’s office at eleven o’clock and ask if he wanted to talk. It might have seemed awkward at first, but pretty soon it became routine and it was something we both looked forward to. We even had this seating arrangement on the office floor, so we could be close without touching (because that would be overstepping an invisible line). We could talk about our family, our friends outside of work, local news, anything we wanted, but we usually avoided work unless it was called for. Yes, “our evenings” seemed perfect. Until that one night when everything began to change. Leo was the one who told me about the President’s MS. I could tell it was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. I remember just standing there in his office thinking about how long he has been keeping this from me and everyone else and how hard it must have been for him. I’m sure I must have cried, but I don’t remember that part, because I vaguely recall falling to the ground and Leo calling for Margaret. We were supposed to have one of “our evenings” that night. We had set it up days and days ahead, because we both needed time together. But when I came around a few minutes later, I remember someone mentioning I had to go see Babish early in the morning. I had protested to Leo, saying we had to have “our evening” and then I needed to go home and grab an hour’s sleep before I came back to the office to deal with the scandal that was coming our way. He shooed everyone out of the room and sat on his office couch next to me. He took my hands in his, which was not such an uncommon gesture anymore since we had become so close lately, and I began to blabber about Abbey and the girls and what they what must be going through. I asked him quickly in a fit of tears if I could see Abbey and the President and he shook his head, very sincerely sorry. All I could do was sigh and break down and sob that it wasn’t fair. And that was when it happened. He did the one thing that changed our little routine forever. He pressed his warm, firm lips to mine and immediately halted me of my incoherent, irrational blabbering. For him, a year’s odd worth off pent up sorrow and other emotions came pouring out as one of his hands released it’s hold on mine and came behind my neck to pull me closer. Not that I need the encouragement because the second he touched me my tears had stopped and all the lingering, built up emotions and feelings I had for him that I had had to suppress came pouring out when my hand found his chest and his found my hair. It wasn’t a long kiss, in fact, we broke off quickly, both shocked and very much out of breath. It had consumed us and made us realize that the feelings we both had weren’t unrequited at all, and that was a little scary. So I stood up and tried to get my bearings, smoothing my clothes and relaxing my breathing. “CJ?” He looked at me as he stroked his lip with his index finger. I knew I had to stop looking at the ground at some point, so I finally ventured to look at him. “ Yeah?” “I…I’m sorry. I, I shouldn’t have… I mean.. Now…I..” He was stammering like an idiot. But all I could think was that he had regretted kissing me and that now he somehow felt that he had an obligation to me or something. It hurt to have him back out and want to disregard his actions. “ You don’t have to apologize or explain, Leo.” I told him, my eyes on the ground again. “ If you didn’t want to kiss me, you shouldn’t have, but don’t regret it. I understand if you just want to forget it.” Right then he looked at me like he never had before: Like he was scared. “No, no that’s not what I meant at all. I wanted to, I really did. God, CJ, you, you have no idea. And I don’t regret kissing you, I just regret doing it under these strained circumstances. It’s going to get pretty crazy around here and the last thing we need right now is reporters talking about the chief of staff and press secretary making out in the West Wing. I just think, I think we need to discuss this and move into it slowly, and when things have settled…after we deal with all the hearings and press conferences and everything else. But, I most definitely do not want to forget it.” And so we had sealed the deal. It was okay for us to have feelings for each other, it was okay for us to tell each other about them and it was even alright for us to act upon them, just as long as we went into this slowly and didn’t do anything to damage our, or the President’s, reputation during what would inevitably be the worst crisis we’ve ever had to deal with. But I can tell you, that thing about waiting until after the hearings and press conferences were over and the dust settled didn’t last very long. In fact, it didn’t last 12 hours. When I came back from the Counsel’s office the next afternoon I was down right pissed. Babish made me feel like a stupid, inattentive, unprofessional little child who had been brought along on this little “conspiracy to defraud the public”. So, naturally I went running to Leo and just collapsed in his arms, telling him in haste and fury that we couldn’t do this, that I couldn’t even remember what I said or did but that we were gonna get our asses kicked. And again he held me in his arms and rubbed my back and let me cry it all out. I don’t know when I had cried so much as a grown woman. But when the crying was done and over with, he lied me on my back on his office couch and covered my lips with his to silence me. And for another few minutes we were lost in each other and everything else seemed trivial in comparison. If I said I didn’t know when I had cried so much as a grown woman, it was later when Leo came to me that fateful night before we were to announce to the world that the President of the United States had Multiple Sclerosis and told me that Mrs. Landingham was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Well, that was the breaking point, for both of us. For the last week or so I had seen Leo trying to hold it together for me, the President and everyone else, but this was just the last straw. The first thing he did after simply telling me what had happened was he led me over to the all familiar couch and we curled into a ball together, not moving or talking. There was simply no more to say. The last week had been spent talking too much about what we could do to save our asses and protect the President and have some chance of winning re-election (if the president was even interested) and we were just sick of it. So we just sat and held each other. I took in his deep warmth and newly familiar scent, something I had dared not get used to until that first kiss when I knew it was okay to seek comfort in him and maybe even let myself care about him in a more-than-friendly way. Eventually he started to kiss me up and down my neck, something I was thoroughly enjoying since we had begun to allow ourselves to “explore” each other. His kisses reached all the way up to my ear at which point he proceeded to take my lobe in his lips and suck on it. I’m pretty sure I began to whimper at that point, but it was a pleasureful whimper, not like I was still sobbing. But it was when he moved onto my mouth and slowly parted my unguarded lips that I got the confidence to start unbuttoning his dress shirt. He moaned when I ever so carefully exposed his skin bit-by-bit to the stale office air that seemed to be suffocating us. Or maybe the suffocation was due the fact that our tongues seemed to be melded together and we weren’t planning on coming up for oxygen anytime soon. As I finished unbuttoning his shirt and abandoned his tie on the floor, he flipped me onto my back and began to kiss his way down my chin, neck and all the way down to my collarbone. At that point he seemed to develop an obsession with my throat and chest because he wouldn’t leave me alone. I think I giggled when he slipped his hands under my blouse to caress my stomach. So, upon learning that I was ticklish, Leo decided it was fit to undo my shirt. It amazed me how skilled and gentle his hands were. He was so careful and deliberate with every button, and his mouth never left my heaving bosom. I was breathing heavily and encouraging him by running my hands through his soft sandy hair when we heard a creak coming from a door. It was the door to the Oval Office that had creaked, and inside the frame stood none other than the Leader of the Free World. I immediately scrambled to find my blouse, but apparently Leo had already thrown it on the floor in his haste to undress me. Mortified, all I could do was blush from head to toe and throw myself behind Leo in the hopes that I’d still have a job tomorrow. Highly unlikely. Leo, tieless, with his shirt unbuttoned and half off, gulped and shifted uncomfortably as he sat up. I think it was the only time I had ever seen him speechless in front of his best friend. The President did something unexpected that made me blush even redder, something so unexpected I wanted to die right then and there. “ Well it’s about damn time.” His smile was so bright and evil he could have planned the whole thing. “Uh, sir, please let me explain this.” Leo stuttered. Jed waved a hand a his best friend and smiled directly me. “ Ah, don’t worry about it. We’re gonna need to have a talk about the “No Sex In The Office Policy” we have here, that neither of you seem to know about, but we can do that in the morning. In the meantime, I’m sure you’d both rather be elsewhere right now, so why don’t you grab your bags and go home for the night? And don’t bother coming in too early tomorrow.” He winked directly at me and I physically melted into Leo in embarrassment. Leo wasn’t quite so embarrassed now, so he just shook his head and nodded. “ Okay, thank you ,sir. We’ll come talk about all this tomorrow morning. I imagine you have some questions.” Jed shook his head affectionately. “ Yeah, like how’d you hold off this long? Seriously though, I’m happy for both of you, and I want you to know you have Abbey and I’s personal support. As for the administration, well, if this were three weeks ago I would have said don’t worry about it, but for now I’m just gonna say, we’ll get through it. We’ll work everything out.” “But, sir…” I protested, finally having worked up the nerve to look him in the eye. “Don’t worry about it, CJ. Go home with Leo and just…relax. This hasn’t been an easy week, and the next few months ahead aren’t going to be easy, either. We will find a way to go public with your relationship without destroying the administration. After all, if we can make it through all this, we can certainly divert a little sex scandal.” He chuckled just then. So, Leo asked the President if there was anything else he needed to do before we took off for the night, and he told him no. So, as soon as my boss was out the room, I hurriedly rushed to pick up my shirt and get it back on. Leo laughed at me. I turned to glare at him as he sat on the couch, buttoning his shirt. “And you I suppose you thought that was funny?” I asked him, thoroughly not amused that my new lover could be so insensitive. Leo shrugged and stood up. “ Sure. You look pretty in pink.” “Shut up.” I spat. “Oh, honey, come on.” He came over to place his hands on my hips and smile warmly at my pout. “ It wasn’t that bad. I mean, I know you were embarrassed, but at least we weren’t completely naked. And, hey, he likes the idea of us together, so we’re gonna be fine. Now we know we can do this.” So then we had the President on board. We packed up our briefcases and managed to sneak out of the Whitehouse unnoticed. When we got back to Leo’s apartment, we didn’t waste any time. It wasn’t awkward because I had been there several times, for social gatherings and the odd time that one of “our meetings” ran late and we decided it was safer to go to his place than risk strange glances from the custodial staff. At this point, I don’t even know if we made it to the bedroom or not before all our clothes came off and I just jumped into his arms. That whole night was spent in bed, we never left each other’s arms for fear that for one second we would have to think about the horror of the last week or that the doubts of our relationship would surface and we’d get cold feet and want to leave each other. I don’t know how many times we stopped and started that night, but needless to say by morning we were mentally and physically exhausted, and that’s the way we wanted to be after years and years of waiting so long to find that love that fulfilled you in that way. The night, to me, is a hazy memory of tender kisses and hot touches that lasted into the late hours of the morning. It was one night in the early days that I never doubted how much he meant to me, or how much I meant to him, or whether or not we could make it through. It was one night in the early days that we gave into total surrender and didn’t care what other people thought or what the consequences might be if we became too close that we might not want to separate. It was one night in the early days that was derived from one of “our nights” that was the most perfect of all.