Some Kind of Crisis and a Birthday
Author: Laura(Rauri)
Rating:?
Synopsis: Pairing: CJ/Toby. The staffers try to plan a surprise party
for Toby, while the President falls ill.


Part 1.
Okay, here it is folks. My first West Wing fic, or attempt at that.
Have fun reading it. Excuse all inconsistencies as I've only been
watching the show for about 6 weeks, and I'm still learning. Anyway,
enough, just enjoy. Excuse all the "fluff". American politics isn't
my forte.

"That's all folks. Will, tell Toby I wanna talk to him after he gets
back from his meeting. Now, get back to work, all of you." Leo, Chief-
of Staff, declared, placing his glasses back on and staring at the
piece of paper on his desk, while scratching his sandy hair. They had
just finished up morning staff, and Leo was anxious to get back to
the day. Surprisingly, he thought something would actually get done
today at the White House today. Provided, of course, that some kind
of war doesn't break out, no important person die, and no major P.R
problem surfaces. Okay, that would be a day in paradise in the West
Wing.

"Wait, just a second. " CJ stands in front of the door, not letting
the others exit. "Has anyone planned anything for Toby's birthday?"

"No." Everyone mumbles.

CJ fixes them with one of her death stares more commonly recognizable
to the White House Press Corp. "His birthday is in less than a month
away. He's going to be 45. That's five years past 40, or five years
away from 50, which ever way you want to look at it." She attempted
at humour to lighten the thick mood in the room.

"Then we have five years to plan for his 50th. Let's go." Josh runs
his fingers through his light curly hair as he attempts the door
again, but CJ won't let him out.

"Josh, I'm serious. This is one of our co-workers, and our friend.
Are you guys honestly telling me you're just going to forget his
birthday?" CJ steps away from the door, slightly.

Toby's "assistant" Communications Director, Will, laughs lightly. " We
never celebrate anyone else's around here."

"Yeah, CJ, no body remembered mine." Josh, Leo's Deputy Chief-of-
Staff, states in his humorous attempt at seriousness.

"That's because you're a fascist Yankee jackass, Josh." CJ states,
rolling her eyes.

"Wait a minute, I think I've heard you call me that before." Josh
laughs.

"Oh, for God's sake." Leo rolls his eyes dramatically as he redirects
his attention to the people at his door. "CJ, we'll think of
something to do for Toby's birthday, if it means that much to you.
Now I really have to get back to work, so get the hell out of my
office."

"Yes, sir." Will mock salutes as everyone files out of the room.

Once the door shuts, Josh turns to CJ. " You know you only yell at me
because you're secretly in love with me, right?"

"You're a pig, Josh. Go back to the place you call your office,
which, by the way, Donna really owns." CJ lifts her shoulders, flicks
her dark reddish-brown hair, and stomps off, triumphantly. It may be
hard to work with the same people seven days a week, but it was times
like these when they could all joke that she really didn't mind being
Press Secretary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Donnatella Moss, my faithful comrade, bring me some coffee." Josh
announces loudly as he flops into the plush chair behind his desk.

A young, petite blond appears at his door and glares at him. " What
do you want coffee for?"

"Why do you ask? I don't justify my requests to you, you just do
them." Josh places his hands behind his back and sits back.
Apparently this was a good day for him, too.

"Actually, Josh, I do what's best for you, and everything else you're
just lucky to get." Donna replies softly.

"I could get a new assistant , ya know." Josh states, turning to read
something on his computer.

"You wouldn't be able to function without me."

" You should be nice to me. I could die at any moment, ya know? Just
suddenly drop dead on the floor, or choke on something, or drown."

" I'll go get you an inflatable pool." Donna remarks coolly as she
steps out of the office.

"God, I love her." Josh laughs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Go on in." Ginger says to CJ as she points towards Toby's open
office door.

"Thanks," CJ replies and makes her way to the open door.

"Just, hold on a second." Toby says to the person on the other line
of the phone he's holding as he notices CJ in the door frame. " What
do you want?"

"Just to talk." CJ replies emotionlessly.

"Okay, okay then." Toby turns his attention back to the
caller. "Alright, fine, see you then. Bye." He turns back to
CJ. "Wanna take a seat?"

"No, I have to get to the briefing. I was just wondering what you
want for your birthday."

Toby looks at her confusedly. "I have a birthday coming up? Oh, yeah.
But it's not for another month or so."

"So, I wanted a head start. And I didn't want to forget your
birthday. So what da ya want?" CJ asks, shifting her weight.

"CJ, did you forget my birthday last year? Wait, did I forget yours?"
Toby asks, suddenly feeling guilty that he had forgotten one of his
best friend's birthdays.

CJ laughs softly. " Yeah, I sent you a card, remember? And I can't
remember whether you did anything for me or not; I don't keep track
of things like that."

"But you remembered this?"
"Well, yeah, you're my friend Toby. I've known you for over 20 years,
I think I'd remember your birthday."

"Okay, well, I don't know. I gotta go talk to Leo about my meeting
with Congressman Gyner. Good luck at the briefing." He pats her
shoulder as he brushes past her.

"Wait! Toby, I really want to know what to get you this year. Get
back to me, okay?"

Toby turns around and nods. Seeing the warmth and sincerity in his
best friend's eyes, he smiles. "Will do."

CJ never forgets, he thinks to himself. She's always been there for
me in so many ways over the last two decades. One of these days I
have to do something really special for her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 2

"That's all, folks. See you at the afternoon briefing. Try not to
miss me too much. " CJ winks and heads off stage, closing her eyes to
the shouting of her name and the flashing of the cameras.

Her assistant, Carol, greets her at the door of the Press Room. "
Toby said he wanted to see you at your earliest convenience. Nothing
important, he just wanted to ask you a favour."

"What does he want?" CJ asks, skimming through a file in her hands.

" I don't know. He didn't say."

"Why not?"

"Does he ever say?"

CJ stops. " No. Thanks." She enters her office to see Toby laying
back casually in her chair behind her desk.

"How do you know this is my earliest convenience?" CJ asks, walking
up to her desk.

"I had Carol check your itinerary." Toby smiles meekly.

" Out of my chair. What do you want? You got an idea about what you
want for your birthday?" CJ moves in to sit in her chair after Toby
gets off of it.

"No, not yet. I was wondering if you could do me a really big
favour." Toby sits on the couch.

"What?" CJ asks, directing her attention to a pending memo on her
desk.

"What have you got planned for your big weekend off?" Toby asks,
leaning back.

"Well, it's the one weekend in a million that I'm not supposed to be
here, so I'll probably drop by the office early Saturday morning.
Just to check in, ya know?"

"Wow, Ceej, you really know how to live life to the fullest." Toby
remarks sarcastically.

"What's your favour, Pokey?" Now that the joking had begun, nick
names were appropriate.

"Sit with me tonight." Toby states, shifting his hands to the pocket
of his tailored suit.

"Sit with you?" CJ places her glasses on and looks at Toby to explain.

"Uh…babysit, that is. Andy's decided to let me take the twins every
other weekend, and this is my first weekend alone with them. It may
sound bad, but I don't really want to do it alone. I'm afraid I'll
like…lose them or something. And CJ, they're my only two kids."

CJ laughs out loud. " Toby, they're ten months-old. They can't even
walk yet. I doubt you're going to lose them."
"What if they tag team me? I've seen the way Huck eyes me
suspiciously."

"Toby, this isn't like you. You're like nervous about nothing."

"I know. And it'd probably be fine, but can't you please just help me
out? I'll owe you."

"You already owe me immensely. But yeah, I guess I can do it. You
want me to come over tonight after work?"

"No, not exactly." Toby begins, almost nervously. " I thought maybe
on your lunch you could run home and grab an over night bag and stay
the weekend…Just until Sunday morning when Andy's picking them up."
Truth be told, Toby just wanted his ex-wife, Andy, to see that he was
responsible and despite his job, he really could take care of their
twins.

"Toby, don't you see a problem? You have a two bedroom apartment. One
room you converted into a bedroom for the twins. Don't you think
it'll be a little crowded with me there?" CJ asks, her attention is
now completely on Toby.

"That's why I figured I'd give you my room, and I'd take the couch,
seeing as it's not long enough for you to stretch out on." He cracked
a smile. He was the only one she'd tolerate cracking jokes about her
height.

"You really know how to sway me, ya know that? Fine. I'll give up my
only weekend off for you. But only because there is children
involved, and I don't want you to like kill them or anything."

"Thanks. I appreciate it. I'll drop by your office when I'm done
tonight. We gotta go to Andy's to pick them up."

CJ rolled her eyes. This was hardly going to be a stress-free weekend
being cooped up with two babies and a best friend who she secretly
had had some varying feelings for for the past twenty years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mr. President, he said he'd give us a legislative agenda that would
cause us so many problems you'd be forced to resign. He's going to be
school prayer, social security, gays in the military, you name it,
front and centre." Leo was addressing some of the day's little
problems to the president this evening.

"Leo," President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet began. " Have you ever heard
Josh tell someone to take their legislative agenda and shove it up
their ass?"

Leo's eyes widen in surprise. " Yes, sir, I believe I heard him tell
a senator that once."

"Sometimes we can learn from Josh. Hold on, did I say that?" The
President looks at the papers in his hands, confused. "Anyway, the
point is, Leo, that you don't need to worry about. Now, go."

Leo stand up and gathers his files. " Thank you, Mr. President."

"Thank you, Leo." The President gets off the couch and walks back to
his desk in the Oval Office.

The President's aide, Charlie, enters. "Sir, I just received word
that your daughter Zoey has safely arrived. She'll be at the
Residence in a matter of a couple of hours."

"Thank you., Charlie. Will you please tell whoever is in charge of
feeding me and my wife that our youngest daughter is in town and that
it is imperative that we have chilli for dinner tonight."

"Yes, sir. Have a great night, sir." Charlie goes to exit.

"Wait a minute, Charlie. Did you say earlier that Admirable
Fitzwallace wanted to see me tonight?"

"Uh, yes sir. Something about nuclear activity around Israel."

"Wonderful." The President replies sarcastically. " I hope you sleep
better than I will tonight."

"All part of the job, sir." Charlie smiles and closes the door behind
him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Josh, there's a rumour going around that we're having a surprise
party for Toby's birthday." Donna states unenthusiastically as she
enters Josh's office.

"Where'd you hear that?" Josh is leafing through some files on his
desk and he suddenly scrunches up his face in disgust. " I have to
meet with Senator Johnson on Monday… And John Hoynes? God, who makes
my schedule?"

"I do, Josh. And you didn't answer my question. Are we having a
surprise party for Toby?"

"And you didn't answer mine. Where'd you hear that?" Josh stands up,
ready to abandon his desk and the dreary list of things he had to do
that it held.

"Well," Donna began, following Josh out of the office. " Leo told
Margaret, who told Carol, who told me."

"You guys know that you're not supposed to talk to one another about
stuff like that, right?" Josh steps back into his office to grab his
back pack.

"Us who?"

"You guys, the assistants."

"It sounds like you think we're just supposed to ignore everything
that goes on around here and just serve you without complaint."

Josh smiles. " That's what we pay you to do."

"You really are a jack-ass, you know that Josh?" Donna teases,
knowing Josh was only teasing and that he truly did appreciate her
and all the other assistants.

"And you really have stolen my heart away, Donna." Josh smiles. He
goes to head out the door, then stops. " Toby's going to be 45.
That's old."

"You're not that far behind him." Donna comments, slipping on her
coat.

"I am way far behind him." Josh convicts.

"You're 42, Josh." Donna says without emotion.

"I'm.. 41, Donna." Josh has to think about it.

"It was two years ago we had that party in Manchester for your 40th.
You're 42." Donna says with even more conviction.

"Well, if I'm 42, which is still in question, that would make you….?"

Donna gives him a daring look.

Josh shrinks. " Twenty…. Three?"

Donna smiles triumphantly. " I take back what I said, you're not a
jack-ass."

"You really know the way to a man's heart, Donnatella." Josh jokes,
opening the door for her.

" So much charm, so many men." Donna winks and steps outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 3

"You ready?" Toby pokes his head into CJ's office later that night.

"Yeah, you bet." CJ doesn't take her eyes off the computer screen,
but starts to gather some things on her desk. After a minute, she
shuts down the computer, grabs her stuff and joins Toby just outside
her office.

"Andy's expecting us soon, so we better hurry." Toby states. " Did
you get an over-night bag ready?" He looks at the contents she's
carrying and notices a rather large suitcase.

"A suitcase." CJ states, almost dryly.

"Hey, CJ, if you don't want to do this, I understand. I don't want to
ruin your weekend." Toby says, taking the suitcase from her into his
free hand.

"It's not you, Toby. I didn't have a very good day. At the afternoon
briefing I made a huge mistake and I have to wait until Monday to
correct it. Leo got pissed at me and told me to stop acting like this
was my first day on the job."

"CJ, you realize you don't have to listen to him. He's not your boss,
I am..well, only technically. And after five years here, I think
you're entitled to a mistake or two."

"He's the Chief-of-Staff. We all listen to him…even the President.
Anyway, enough about work. Let's make this a work-free weekend and
not talk about anything to do with anything that has even remotely
anything to do with our jobs."

"I've never heard anyone use `anything' so many times in one
sentence." Toby remarks dryly.

"Well, you haven't heard anything yet." CJ smiles, glad she had
decided to really leave her work at the office.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
"Toby, how are you? Come in." The beautiful redhead ushers Toby
inside her house. She spots CJ standing behind him and smiles. " CJ,
I didn't know you'd be coming. It's nice to see you again."

"It's nice to see you, too, Andy." CJ smiles and follows Toby' s lead
into the foyer.

CJ and Andy had always gotten along fine, despite the original
tension. When Andy and Toby had first started dating, Andy would
sometimes get jealous of CJ and the attention Toby paid her whenever
she visited. CJ and Toby had been friends since college, and there
was always an unquenchable chemistry between them that didn't go
unnoticed to her, or anyone at the White House.

"I just fed them their supper, so they should be fine for a while.
You know where the nursery is." Andy let Toby and CJ wonder into the
nursery.

CJ had to admit that for a single mother, Andy did remarkably well.
Well, of course she would, she's a Congresswoman, CJ thought. Not
only that, but Andy had the looks to win any man over. She was cute,
small and had a great smile and terrific brain. CJ knew she didn't
stand a chance against a woman like that. Although, it had been over
a year and a half since Andy and Toby had had any romantic
encountering.

"They get bigger every time I see them." Toby states as he reaches
into the crib to lift them out. " CJ's gonna help me this weekend.
It's not that I can't do it by myself, I just thought they might miss
having a woman around." Toby knew at once that he shouldn't have told
Andy that. It made him look irresponsible, and like he was trying to
replace her with CJ.

"That sounds nice." Andy smiles. She knew it was more than that, but
she didn't want to make either of them more uncomfortable than they
already were. CJ looked slightly guilty as she took one of the babies
from Toby's outstretched arms.

"We promise to return them in the same order they came in." CJ
laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm sure you will. Anyway, here's there bag. Everything you need
should be in there, and anything else you can pick up along the way.
They really are good kids. I don't anticipate any problems."

"Most problems are not anticipated or they wouldn't really become
problems." Toby said in all seriousness.

"You'll be fine." Andy assured him. " Do you guys want to stay for a
drink or something?"

Toby glanced at CJ holding his son. " No, it's been a long day. I
think we'll just take these guys home and get them to bed."

"Alright then. Call if you need anything. If nothing goes wrong, I'll
see you Sunday." She pauses briefly to give Toby a quick peck on the
cheek. " Be nice. They miss their daddy." She said in all sweetness.

CJ suddenly picked up a vibe that said some part of Andy was trying
to win Toby back. But she knew deep down that neither of them really
wanted to get back together, so she had nothing to worry about.

"Okay. Bye. See ya Sunday." Toby and CJ filed out of the door
carrying the twins, their car seats and just about everything else
they'd need for the weekend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Okay, you've been here many times before so there's no need for any
kind of tour, I presume?" Toby said as he and Toby set the babies
down on the couch in the living room.

Toby's apartment was nice, but modest. When you walked in you entered
the kitchen and living room area. There was a small hall that
contained two bedrooms and a bathroom, and the whole place had a cozy
feel, but it also said that he was obviously a bachelor. A Busy
bachelor because some things weren't where they belonged in his place.

"That's right. Toby, these kids haven't even moved since we got them,
and they're not sleeping. Are they normally this quiet?"

"Yeah, usually. They're good kids. Especially Molly. Isn't her little
dress cute?" Toby asked as lifted her into his arms.

"Toby Ziegler, Communications Director and Proud Father." CJ laughed.

It was apparent that his children brought out the soften side of him.
Toby wasn't used to being overly expressive with feelings, but he
desperately wanted to build a good relationship with his babies. "
Leave me along, alright. I never get to see them."

"I know. Actually, I think it's cute. I love babies."

" I know. That's your biggest regret-not getting married and having
kids." He wasn't saying it to remind her of her failed relationships,
he was just demonstrating that he understood.

"I know. And now I'm probably way too old. And, it's too late anyway.
Let's uh, let's get these two to bed."

"No, I want to sit with them for as long as I can. Why don't you go
grab a bath, and I can start dinner for us." Toby places Huck and
Molly into their portable playpen he had set up next to the coffee
table in front of the t.v.

"A bath?" CJ asks in disbelief as she packs up their things and goes
to put them in their room.

"Yeah," Toby calls. " It's supposed to be your weekend to relax. Why
not start now? I can open a bottle of wine."

CJ peeks her head around and the corner and walks into the
kitchen. " Wine? Now you've got me hooked."

"Alright. I can go start the water for you, show you where all the
stuff is, and grab you a towel." Toby steps into action.

Maybe this weekend wouldn't be so bad, CJ thought. Toby is doing so
much to make sure it goes well for all of us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CJ leans back into the tub and lets the cool surface contrast the
warm water as she takes in a flowery scent. She couldn't remember the
last time she had taken a bath, or the last time she had the
opportunity to relax like this.

Her train of peaceful thought is broken when one of the babies begins
to cry. She can hear Toby grumbling-something more familiar to her
than his smiling and warm voice tonight- and the baby starts to wail
louder.

"CJ," Toby knocks on the door, his voice impatient and nervous.

"Hold on. I'll be out in a second." CJ calls back.

"Please hurry." Toby sounded desperate.

A few minutes later, CJ appears in the hallway door frame, wrapped in
only a towel.

Toby looks at her and almost laughs. She looks so different than she
does at the office right now. " Molly stopped crying. You can go get
dressed." Toby offered.

"Toby, there's a little problem." CJ states with a sigh.

"What?" He asks, getting up from the couch to walk to the kitchen.

"I must have forgotten to back pajamas in my haste to get ready at
lunch."

"You don't have pajamas here?" Toby asked, pouring a glass of wine.

"Yeah. I'm good, huh? So, do you maybe have something I could borrow.
Ya know, so I'm not sleeping in your bed with just my bra and
underwear on."

Whoa! Toby immediately thought. Okay, get that provocative image out
of your head you horny old man, he told himself. He had to clear his
throat before he could answer her. " Uh, yeah, sure. Follow me." Toby
came into the hallway and brushed past her, entering his room.

He begins to search through some dresser drawers until he picks up
and old grey shirt. " Okay, you can wear my Yankees t-shirt, but you
gotta promise not to steal it or spill anything on it." He warns.

CJ laughs from her position against the door. " Toby, are you
honestly telling me I have to be careful not to spill anything on
your stupid Yankees shirt?"

"Okay, just for calling it stupid, you don't get to wear a shirt to
bed." Toby shrugged, trying to be serious.

"Bet you'd like that." CJ smiles coyly. " Come on, Toby, I need to
get dressed. I'm freezing." She whines.

"Fine." He tosses her the shirt, then pauses to stare at her. It
wasn't fair that he had wanted her for twenty years and couldn't have
what stood in front of him. It wasn't just physical, she was his best
friend and there was so much he wanted to do for her.. With her.
Okay, idiot, keep staring and she'll be out of here quicker than you
can say `No, I was staring at your face, really.'

"Hmm…Toby, some bottoms, maybe?" She looked at him to finish the task.

"You need bottoms, too?" Toby joked.

"Well, I wouldn't want to scare the children, now would I?" CJ rolled
her eyes.

"Okay, okay." Toby sighed, then began searching the drawer again. He
finds a pear of boxers and tosses them to her.

"Boxer shorts? What, no pants?" She looks down at the small bundle in
her hand.

"CJ, do you really wear pants to bed in April? Besides, none of my
pants would be long enough for you."

"You're purposely making this hard, aren't you?"

"Just wear the damn shorts." Toby ordered, actually getting a little
annoyed with the conversation.

" Fine, but you're the one that's going to have to put up with my
long, hairy legs." CJ shrugs, stepping out into the hall to go into
the bathroom.

"There's really no appropriate way for me to respond to that." Toby
says dumbly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 4

After eating dinner and killing a bottle of wine, Toby and CJ were
completely comfortable sitting back on the couch and watching t.v.
The twins were beginning to fall asleep in their playpen, and for
once the t.v wasn't turned to CNN or C-SPAN. It was nothing short of
a miracle.

CJ begins flipping through the channels when the program they were
watching ends. "Ooo, you wanna stay up and watch `The American
President`" She smiled wildly.

Toby glared. " No. We are not watching anything that attempts to make
humour out of what we do."

"Fine, I was just teasing. We better get these guys to bed. It's
late." CJ stands up.

Toby has to admit that CJ had never looked cuter than she did in his
pajamas. She picks up Molly and carries her into the makeshift
bedroom. Toby follows with Huck.

After CJ carefully tucks Molly into the crib, she turns around to
smile at Toby. " They're so peaceful when they're sleeping. God,
you're lucky , Toby."

Toby cautiously sets his son down in the crib. "I know. But hey,
anytime you want to see them is okay with me."

CJ smiles thankfully. " I might take you up on the offer, Pokey."

Once they're positive the babies are asleep, they both wander back to
the living room.

"This is nice, isn't it?" CJ asks as she wraps the quilt lying on the
couch around herself and sits down.

"What is?" Toby asks, taking his seat beside her.

"Seeing each other outside of work." Sometimes it felt like they had
seen each other more before they came to work for the Bartlet
Administration-before they practically came to live in the West Wing.
Work had complicated their relationship immensely.

"Yeah, it is. And, uh, thanks for helping me out." Toby states
awkwardly.

"No problem." CJ says as she yawns. " I think I'm going to call it a
night." She says.

"Oh, okay. You need anything before you go to bed?" Toby asks, taking
the remote control from her.

"No, I'm good."

"Okay, if you need anything you know where to find me."

"Yep." CJ begins to walk down the hall when she remembers
something. " Don't forget to keep the baby monitor on." She calls
back.


Toby smiles. I could get used to this. This, CJ in my apartment, in
my clothes, helping me with my kids. This is the way it should be.
This is what feels right. If only I could get enough guts to tell her
what she means to me. That's it's not enough just to be friends with
her. But, she deserves more than this crappy apartment and two part-
time children. She needs a man who can give her everything. Someone
who isn't working eighteen hour days along side her, and who can come
home and cook a decent meal at a decent hour and have enough energy
to take care of her. That's what she needs. He had no business having
feelings for her. Hell, twenty years he's been putting his feelings
in the closet, and he could damn well do it for another twenty…
Provided, of course, that they didn't have any weekends like this
again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
CJ lies back in Toby's bed and breathes in his familiar scent off the
pillows and sheets, thinking that she hadn't felt this at ease in a
long time. In a business that literally never sleeps, it's often hard
for her to string more than four or five hours of sleep together
consecutively, let alone be able to go home and enjoy a good dinner
and a bath. And being with Toby and his babies added to the weekend
and ensured that it wouldn't be boring. Maybe she wouldn't even pick
up her cell phone and call in tomorrow. Maybe she'd lounge around in
Toby's pajamas and watch movies all day. She didn't really know, nor
did she care. For the time being, all her defences were down, and she
was enjoying herself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"CJ, CJ!"

CJ moaned as she felt someone shaking her shoulder. The next thing
she knew something in the room started crying and Toby was calling
her name again.

"CJ, I'm sorry, please wake up."

She shook her head and rolled herself on her back so she could see
Toby. " What's up?" She asked, groggily.

Toby began, already out of breath. "Molly won't stop crying. I don't
know what to do. I tried changing her, and feeding her, and rocking
her and…"

CJ props herself up on her elbows, noticing for the first time that
Toby is shirtless. Not that it would matter, she just wasn't accustom
to him wearing anything but a suit, let alone nothing at all.

"CJ!" Toby demanded her attention.

"Okay, okay. Give her to me." CJ reaches out her arms to take the
sobbing infant. She holds her close and begins rocking her back and
forth. "It's okay, there. Everything's going to be okay."

"Thanks," Toby huffs, placing his hands on his hips.

"I was talking to your daughter." CJ laughs lightly. " But I'm glad
you're feeling better."

"So, what's wrong with her?" Toby asks, sitting on the edge of the
bed.

"I don't know." CJ shifts the baby in her arms, and feels her
forehead and cheeks. " She's a bit warm. She may have a fever. Do you
have a thermometer?"

"Yeah, the one you stick in meat to see if it's cooked." Toby states.

"I don't think that will work." CJ rolls her eyes, but smiles.

"Should I take her to a doctor?" Toby asks quickly.

"No, I don't think so. Kids run fevers all the time. See if you can
find some Tylenol for her, and she might be fine."

Toby quickly when to retrieve the Tylenol.

Once Molly finally took the medicine, CJ lied her down on Toby's bed
and lied down beside her.

"What are you doing?" Toby asked when CJ settled in.

"I'll stay with her until she falls asleep. Then I'll take her back
to the room. Go on, go back to bed. She's fine."

"Are you sure?" Toby asks uncertainly as he stand up off the bed.

"Yes, go on." CJ offers him a comforting smile.

Thank God she's here, Toby thinks as he walks out of the bedroom. He
smiles to himself, remembering the small detail that CJ didn't wear a
bra to bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Early in the morning, Toby woke up with a deep sense of panic. His
sleep had been good enough, but he suddenly got the feeling that
something was wrong. It dawned on him that his daughter hadn't been
feeling well last night. He quickly jumps off the couch and rushes to
his room, where he was sure CJ had fell asleep with Molly.

He peeks in to find neither of the girls there, and starts to
panic. "CJ," He calls down the small hall. He enters the babies'
room to find CJ curled up with Molly in her arms in a an arm chair.
She must have fallen asleep when she was trying to get Molly to go
back to sleep, he thinks to himself.

He smiles to himself as he makes his way around to the corner of the
room where the arm chair sat. He lifted his daughter out of CJ's arms
and tucked her back into the crib alongside her twin brother. He then
goes back to the chair and shakes CJ's shoulder. "CJ, time to go back
to your bed." He says, trying to keep his voice low and even.

CJ merely mumbles.

Toby rolls his eyes at the realization that if he wanted his friend
to be comfortable, he was going to have to take her back to his room
the hard way. When he lifts her up and over his shoulder, he's
pleasantly surprised to learn that she wasn't as heavy as her height
would deceive someone to think.

She mumbles something against his neck as he sets her down on the
bed. " Good night, Claudia Jean. Or should I say, good morning." He
lets his hands linger on her shoulders until he forces himself to
pull away from her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later in the morning, CJ wakes up with a sense of warmth as she turns
in the sheets on Toby's bed. It took her a second to recognize where
she was, but as soon as she did, she couldn't help but smile. She
didn't want to get up and pull herself away from this peaceful
trance., but she knew she had to. Quickly putting her bra back on,
she gets up and heads out to the living room, where she could hear
noise coming from the t.v and kitchen.

She walks in to see Toby sitting on the couch, bouncing his two
babies on his lap and singing to them softly.

CJ smiles brighter that she had in a long time. " `Hush Little Baby'
was always my favourite baby song, too." She smiled at Toby,
remembering the lyrics and melody of the song he was singing and
humming.

Embarrassed that she had seen him sing, Toby clears his
throat. "Yeah, uh, mine too. So, how'd you sleep?" He asks, taking
the children one by one and placing them back into their playpen in
front of him.

"Just fine, thanks to you." She offered him a grateful smile.

Toby blushed. "You fell asleep, you didn't want to wake up. I had no
choice."

CJ sits on the opposite side of the couch. " I know. And thanks for
that."

"Hey, it was the least I could do. I had to wake you up to tend to my
responsibility."

"I don't mind in the least, Toby. Has anyone from the office called
yet?" CJ asks, standing up and walking to the kitchen.

"No, but I wouldn't know. I burned your cell phone and pager for you
last night."

CJ glared at him after checking the coffee pot. " You wouldn't dare.
I couldn't function without my technology. Is this coffee new?"

Toby nods. "Help yourself. I'm going to start breakfast in a minute."

"How's Molly feeling this morning?" CJ asks, pouring herself a cup
into a mug that was laid out on the table for her.

"Better. I figured out why she wasn't feeling well. I think she's
getting some new teeth in. She's been chewing on things all morning.
That might cause her to cry, right?"

"Yeah, that would. Good for you for figuring that out ,Toby." CJ
congratulations him sincerely.

"I'm not a complete amateur." Toby stands up and walks to join CJ in
the kitchen. " So, what do you want to eat?" He asks, opening the
fridge and examining the contents.

"How about roast duck… or greek salad. Ooo… you know what would
really be good right now? Vegetable soup, or those little goldfish
crackers."

Toby glared at her. "I got eggs."

CJ laughed playfully. " That's fine."

Toby starts the eggs and CJ goes back to watching t.v. This time, she
can't help but change the channel to CNN. Toby eventually comes over
to sit beside her, watching the national happenings from his living
room couch.

The phone on the coffee table in front of them starts to ring. Toby
grabs it on the second ring.

"Hello." He answers, obviously annoyed at being bothered at ten in
the morning on his day off.

Leo's voice fills the other line. " You gotta get down here, Toby."

Recognizing the strain in Leo's voice, Toby quickly sits up. " What's
happening?"

"The President just had a heart attack, Toby. He's at GW.I don't have
time to explain because I have to call the others. What's CJ's home
number? For some reason I can't find it here." Leo had begun to calm
down.

"Don't bother. She's here with me. We'll be in as soon as we can. See
ya." Toby hangs up the phone and looks at CJ who is glancing at him
questioningly.

"What's wrong?" She asks immediately.

Toby automatically begins to pinch the flesh of the bridge of his
nose, something he did regularly under stress. " The President… Had a
heart attack." He states emotionlessly
Part 5


Oh my god!" CJ practically screams. " Is he alright? It was just a
small one, right? Oh God, Toby, tell me he's going to be fine."
Normally CJ could handle something like this. Normally she would jump
into Press Secretary mode and want to fly down to the office and
address the press, convincing them that the President was going to be
fine. But now all she could think was that someone she cared about
was hurt, and that she usually lost someone when they got hurt.

"CJ, don't worry. I'm sure he's going to be alright." Toby watched
CJ, trying to understand what caused her sudden outburst of emotions.

CJ flung herself onto the couch and tried to collect herself. It took
all she had not to burst out in tears. Why whenever things seemed to
be going alright ,did something bad always have to happen? She was
Catholic, and greatly believed in faith, but sometimes she felt it
had a sick sense of humour.

Toby stared at CJ impatiently. "CJ, look you gotta get up, get
dressed, and go. Come on. Let's get ready to handle this."

"We shouldn't have to handle this, Toby." CJ mumbles into the pillow
she's clutching. Finally, collecting her self, she sits up. Come on,
CJ, you're 43 years-old for God's sake, you're not a child, she
mentally reprimands herself. "Okay, I'm coming." She takes in a deep
breath. " We can do this, right?" She looks at Toby to confirm.

He nods. " We're going to have to take the kids in, I guess." He
points out, watching the children playing, totally oblivious to the
adult world around them.

CJ nodded, wiped the few tears from her face, and decided to hide
behind her defences. The same defences she used to protect herself
from the White House Press Corp, men who only wanted sex from her,
and ultimately from getting herself too attached to anyone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
"Hey, what did we miss?" Toby asks as he and CJ walk into Leo's
office.

Leo looks up from his desk and simply stares as CJ and Toby walk into
his office, both caring a baby in their arms.

"Who are they?" He asks simply.

Toby gives Leo an offensive look. " These are my children, Leo."

Leo actually smiles. " Really? The last time I saw those two they
were about as big as my fist. What happened?"

CJ gives Leo a cold stare. " They grew, Leo. It's hard to believe it,
but at one point you were that size, too."

"Okay, no point in chit-chatting." Leo stands up as CJ takes a seat
on the couch, and Toby stands in the corner beside Josh. " As you all
know, the President had a heart attack late this morning. He's
recovering at George Washington, and so far the doctors haven't be
able to give us much more than that. The First Lady and the their
three daughters are there now, just waiting to see him, but it could
be hours before the doctors will let them in. Vice- President Robert
Russel is now in charge of the country." Leo rolls his eyes at the
last statement, obviously not pleased with leaving the VP with so
much responsibility.

"The Press?" CJ asks, wondering what she'd tell them.

"Not a word `til we're ready." Leo states.

"They all know it's supposed to be `Senior Staff Weekend Off',
they're going to wonder why we're here." Josh adds.

"So? Lie. You're all lawyers and politicians of some kind, lie. It's
what you do."

"So what are we supposed to do all day?" Toby asks. From his
viewpoint, they couldn't do anything at this time.

" I don't care what you do. For now, CJ, Toby, work on a statement
for the press. Ya know, something light and comforting. Assure them
that their president will be back in the Oval Office soon, and that
they won't have to worry about Bob Russel causing an international
war for much longer."

"Good, because mentioning the President having a heart attack and an
international war in the same sentence is very comforting." Toby
states in his dry tone.

"Work on it." Leo directs.

Josh takes a step closer to the desk. " What do you want me to do,
Leo?"

Leo sighs and rolls his eyes. " I don't care, Josh. Why don't you
help out with security? Make sure none of the press get in here. And
hey, before anyone goes: If any of this is leaked to the press, I
will hold the three of you personally responsible."

"Why me? I've got nothing to do with communications." Josh states
just as he's about to exit.

"You're the brains of the operation. Keep the press out, Josh. Now
all of you, get out. I'll get back to you as soon I hear from GW."

CJ and Toby took the babies to Toby's office so his secretaries,
Bonnie and Ginger, could watch them while they worked. The afternoon
went by pretty slowly as they waited for more news on the President's
status.

CJ gave a small briefing at about five o'clock explaining what they
knew, and attempting to get some control over the issue.
Surprisingly, the Press didn't ask a lot of questions and understood
that she didn't have all the information yet.

A while later, CJ and Toby are back at his office "Come on. " CJ
practically screamed. " It shouldn't be taking this long." She
complained, turning to face Toby who was sitting back in his chair .

Just then, Ginger steps into the office. "Toby, CJ, Leo wants you in
his office."

"Finally," CJ breathes, standing up quickly.

"Okay, watch Huck and Molly for us, okay?" Toby asks Ginger as he
grabs his suit jacket and follows CJ out of the office.

Once outside Leo's office, his secretary, Margaret, ushers them
inside right a way.

When they walk in they notice that Leo is sitting at his desk, his
face buried in his hands.

"Leo?" CJ asks tentatively.

Josh is already sitting on the couch.

"What's the deal?" Toby asks as CJ takes a seat beside Josh.

"The President is in bad shape, guys. It was a pretty bad attack. And
the biggest problem is that he's severely prone to having another one
if he doesn't cut back on his stress."

"He's already on a strict diet, and he has stress management therapy.
What more can they do?" CJ asks, concerned.

"Not too much. They brought in three of the top cardiologists in the
country, a neurologist and a nun. Don't ask me what the nun said, but
all the others said the same thing: That if he continues with his
present lifestyle, he risks burning out and even dying."

"What did they suggest?" Toby asks.

Leo sighs. " Resigning his presidency."

CJ gasps softly. " No, why?"

" It's the only way he can fully be treated and take on a new
lifestyle." Leo said, repeating the words of the doctor that had
called him.

"But there's gotta be something we can do." Josh suggests. " I mean,
maybe if we tried to take some of the stress off him…"

"There's not much more we can do. He's the Leader of the Free World,
Josh. You don't just cut back or delegate." Toby states.

"Anyway, there's no need to get too upset right now. The President
hasn't even been told any of this yet. So the only thing we can do is
say a little prayer, take a little oath and move on." Leo stands up.

Josh stands up, too. " I don't know about the rest of you, but I
serve at the pleasure of the President of the United States of
America, and I'll be damned if I see him surrender his second term
this way. What do you say?"

Toby takes a deep breath. " I'd say I serve at the pleasure of the
President."

"CJ?" Josh looks down.

"I serve at the pleasure of President Bartlet."

"How about you, Leo?" Josh looks to Leo with a smile on his face.

"I say may he stand by us and let God Bless America."

"Alright. Then I think we know what we need to do." Josh says.

" I think I'm going to be sick." CJ states suddenly, running out of
the room.

Everyone looks dumbstruck.

"Well, Toby, what the hell are you waiting for? Go see if she's
alright." Leo practically screams.

"Me?"

"Yeah, Toby, `cause you're her best friend. Now go on." Leo points to
the door.

"I don't even know what's making her so upset today." Toby states,
almost guilty.

"Toby, she just found out that we might not make it to the midterms,
she might lose her job, and the only decent guy we've had in the
White House for a while is about to be kicked out for something he
has no control over. I don't know about you, but my stomach's not the
sturdiest right now, either." Josh fidgets with his tie.

"I'll, uh, go try to find her." Toby states and moves out of the
office.

He searches Leo and Josh's area and doesn't spot her. He makes his
way back to his office and finally hers.

"Carol," Toby calls from inside CJ's office.

"Yes?" Carol appears at the doorway.

"Have you seen CJ?" He asks impatiently.

"I thought she was with you guys at Leo's office." Carol states
simply.

"She left. She wasn't feeling well. Do you think you can go see if
she's in a restroom?"

"Toby, do you know how many restrooms this place has?"

"No, and I don't care to find out." Toby remarks dryly.

Carol backs out of the room, timidly. " I'll go see if I can find
CJ." She runs off to go search out her boss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donna walks in to the Ladies Room and begins washing her hands
casually. After a second, she hears someone vomiting in a near by
stall. Her eyes widen in surprise. She hears it again, followed by
someone mumbling, "Shit!"

"CJ?" Donna whispered softly, not wanting to intrude on the other
person's privacy if it wasn't indeed CJ.

After a second, someone replied. " Yeah. Donna?"

"Yes, are you alright?" She walks closer to the stall CJ was in.

"Yeah."

Donna can hear the toilet flush and after a moment, CJ opens the
door. Her blouse is wrinkled and she looks terrible.

"What happened? Are you sick?" Donna asks, carefully putting her hand
on CJ's arm and leading her over to the sinks. She wets a piece of
paper towel and gives it to CJ to wipe her face.


"No, I'm just…not myself. Thanks, Donna." CJ sighs.

"No problem. You should go lie down for a while." Donna suggests
sympathetically.

"I'll be fine. Actually, I think I'm going to go home soon. Oh, damn,
I can't. I gotta go back with Toby." CJ whines.

Donna is unaccustomed to seeing CJ in any state other than eager and
ready to take on the world. It's odd to see the lead woman around
here looking so upset.

"Well, why don't you go find Toby and get him to take you back there?"

"Donna, are you going to be here long?" CJ asks, hopeful.

"No, probably not." Donna answers.

"Well, if you hear anything new, can you let me know?" CJ asks.

"Sure. But I think they're going to tell you everything before it
gets to me." Donna laughs. " I hope you feel better."

"Thanks. Hey, Donna, can this be our little secret?" CJ says
tentatively.

"It's safe with me." She smiles. " But what about all our other
little secrets?"

"They still stand." CJ winks. " See you tomorrow, probably. Bye." She
walks out of the restroom.

Immediately she spots Toby, wandering around like he was headless.

"Tobias!" She calls, laughing. She was starting to feel better after
seeing Donna.

"CJ!" He calls back, rushing to her side. " Are you okay? The guys,
they were worried when you just left."

"The guys were worried?" CJ asks, sceptically. " Look, Toby, can we
just get the kids and go home? I'm in dire need of a drink right now."

"I don't think you should drink when you're not feeling well." Toby
states as they walk back to his office.

" Toby, it's been a long day. I think we're both entitled to a drink
of some kind."

Toby frowns as they enter his office. With any luck, she'd forget
the whole thing and just come home and relax.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 6

The drive home hadn't been good. Toby and CJ had surrendered to
Secret Service protection in light of the day's events. CJ had been
nauseous again, and the twins were tired and whining.

Finally inside, Toby sighs and takes Huck from the Secret Service
Agent who had been carrying him since CJ was having trouble walking
herself. " Thanks, Bill." he says. " See you in the morning."

The agent nods and shuts the door behind himself.

"I'm just going to put these two to bed. You might wanna jump in the
bath or something." Toby calls as he ascends the hall.

A few minutes later he comes back into the kitchen to find CJ
rummaging through the cupboards.

"Pokey, where's your booze?" CJ asks, biting her lip in frustration.

"I don't drink." Toby states with a smile.

"You drink like a fish. Where's your booze?" She asks, unaffected by
his joke.

"CJ, why don't you go run yourself a bath and I'll start dinner? Come
on."

CJ gives up and slumps into one of the wooden kitchen chairs. " I
need something to make me feel better, Toby."

Toby joins her at the table as he pulls up another chair. "Well you
don't need anything to drink. You just need to relax and get into a
nice warm bath. You don't need alcohol."

"I DO need alcohol, Toby. Because I'm an alcoholic." She states with
out conviction, almost drunkenly.

"Since when?" He challenges.

"Since.. Now. I'm an alcoholic. I need alcohol when I'm anxious. And
then I'll drink the booze, and that'll make me more anxious, which in
turn will lead me to want more alcohol. See, I'm an alcoholic" CJ
smiles drunkenly.

"No, you've just defined an alcoholic. That doesn't make you one."
Toby sighs impatiently. " Why don't you go take a bath and get into
my pajamas?"

"Why is it so important to you that I take a bath?" CJ enquires
loudly as she stands up.

Toby stands up, as well. " Because I think you need to relax and gain
better control over your emotions right now. And a bath will help
that. Now, go on, I'll start dinner."

CJ sighs. Obviously he wasn't going to let her drink her way out of
her estranged state, so she might as well surrender and take a bath.
With any luck she'd fall asleep soon and not have to deal with any of
the thoughts rummaging through her head. Like how much she wanted to
jump Toby right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~
"Hope you don't mind, I made eggs. Ya know, since we didn't get to
eat them this morning." Toby sits beside CJ on the couch. She had had
her bath and looked a little more relaxed now as she sat curled in
the quilt. " I couldn't remember how you liked your eggs, so I
scrambled them." He states as he hands her a plate with some eggs and
toast.

"Thanks, Toby. And I like them Sunny Side Up, just like me. And just
how I like my men." CJ laughs and attempts the eggs.

"Good to know." Toby remarked casually between bites. "What are we
watching?"

"Music videos. Toby, do you know they take perfectly good music and
put it in film? Well, none of this is good, but that's besides the
point. They destroy perfectly good music."

Toby almost laughs. " If you want to listen to real music, go turn my
record player on."

"Why? What you got over there?" CJ looks towards the entertainment
centre in front of them and tries to get a glimpse of the various
records on a shelf.

"Just go put it on and see." Toby says nonchalantly.

CJ gets up, opens the glass door shielding the record player, and
starts it. She returns to her seat when music begins to play.

A little while later, CJ and Toby have finished dinner and are lying
back enjoying some familiar oldies on the record player. Glen Miller,
Frank Sinatra and the Beatles, among others, fill the room with sound.

Eventually Toby turns to his side to see CJ lying back on the couch,
falling asleep.

"CJ." He whispers softly.

"Shsh." CJ smiles with her eyes closed. " I love this song. Just
listen."

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isn't hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possessions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one

By the end of the song, CJ is nearly in tears. Toby looks over to
her.

"You okay?" He asks tentatively.

She nods softly. " Toby, we can't lose Jed Bartlet. He's the only
politician I'd ever really believe in. He may not be perfect, but he
sure as hell does his best. And he's so personable, and intelligent.
Toby, he's the only male hero I've ever had."

A smile spreads across Toby's face. "And here I thought I was your
only hero."

She gives him a pleading serious look.

Toby reaches out to take CJ's hand. " We won't lose him, CJ. I think
we've all done a good job running this country for the last five
years. His service will not go forgotten."

"But, but it's not fair that he has to be remembered for this. What
about when Leo said our legacy was going to be raising the level of
public debate? Now the only thing our grandchildren are going to
know about Bartlet is that he was the sick guy. The guy with MS who
couldn't handle stress, had a heart attack and resigned. He'll be
remembered for giving up. Toby, we haven't made a big legacy."

"Then what the hell have we been doing for five years? Come on, Ceej.
Look back at the good things, not all the things we've failed to
accomplish."

CJ sighs. " I don't know how I'm going to do it, Toby, but I'm not
going to let President Bartlet go down like this. What do you say,
will you help me?"

Toby smiles and leans back. " I serve at the pleasure of President
Bartlet."

CJ smiled, relieved. "Good. It isn't going to be easy, but we'll do
something. Boy, this has been some kind of day, huh?"

Toby nods. " Yeah. Some kind of crisis. But hey, it'll be alright.
Are you feeling any better?"

CJ shrugs. " I feel like I'm riding on an emotional roller coaster.
One I haven't been on in years. Toby, I'm too old for this." She
leans into the back of the couch and smiles.

Toby smiles. " Maybe, but you sure don't look it."

CJ opens her eyes. " Neither do you, there's not a grey hair on that
partially bald head of yours." She winks.

"Some men just have a naturally receding hairline."

CJ sits up. " I think I better get to bed before I fall asleep here."
Suddenly CJ feels lonely at the thought of leaving Toby and being all
alone.

"That's a good idea. Do you need anything before you go?" Toby asks,
picking up their glasses and taking them into the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah." CJ remembers something as she stands up. " The window
behind your bed is open. It was fine last night, but tonight's
supposed to be a little cooler."

"Okay, yeah, I'll close it. It can sometimes get cold this time of
year at night, huh?"

"And you said I didn't need to wear long pants to bed in April."

"Truth be told, I just didn't want you to know I didn't have any
clean pants to give you." Toby joked, thinking to himself. Truth be
told, I just wanted to see you in shorts with those long legs that
end at your neck. "Uh, let's go fix that window." Toby states,
composing himself as he tosses the glasses into the sink.

They go into Toby's room and CJ crawls under the covers as Toby leans
across the bed to shut the window.

"There, all set." Toby declares as he sits on the end of the bed.

"Thank you." CJ replies, almost nervously. "Toby, can you stay with
me tonight?" She looks to the empty spot on the bed beside her to
indicate what she wants.

Toby's eyes follow her gaze. He softly sighs as he realizes what
she's asking him to do. "CJ, I would, but I…"

CJ cuts him off. " It's just, I really don't want to be alone
tonight."

Toby then cuts her off. " I just can't." He looks down at her
desperately, wanting her to know that it was because he wanted her
that he couldn't sleep next to her. " If there's anything else you
need, I'm right out there. If you wanna talk or something, all you
have to do is come to me. But please, don't ask me to do this. It's
too hard." Because I've been in love with you for years and know I
can't have you, he wants to scream.

"Toby, please, we're best friends. I need you." CJ speaks sincerely.

Toby leans over and places a gentle kiss to her forehead, hoping
she'll understand that he really wanted to be there for her. "Good
night, Claudia Jean." He whispers and slowly leaves her, trying his
best not to turn around and see the small tears forming in CJ's eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of hours later, CJ awakens from a horrible dream. In it
were all the people she had loved and lost over the years, including
her mother and dead almost-lover, Simon. As the dream had progressed,
she found herself going through a sequence of events in which she was
constantly losing the people she loved the most. She saw her brothers
and niece burn to death in a house fire. Following that she saw all
her co-workers-Leo, Josh, Will, Donna, Carol, Mrs. Bartlet, the
President and even their daughters-being shot by a team of terrorists
outside the White House. Her father then died of Alzheimers in his
home, right in the middle of a fight with her. Next she saw President
Bartlet give his resignation speech and hand over the presidency to
an unqualified and immoral man who let democracy crumble at his feet
in a matter of months. Lastly, she saw Toby move away from her, get
back together with Andy and become a full-time father to Huck and
Molly. Soon after that, Toby and the twins died in a car accident.
Andy survived.

CJ was sweating when she woke up. She was panting and drenched from
head to toe. She was cold, but hot tears streamed her face. Her
throat was sore and dry, like she had been screaming, and it took all
she had inside not to vomit.

She was cold and shaking when she finally decided to step out of bed.
She slowly walked down the hall and into the living room, wondering
how Toby would react when he saw her. She didn't care at this point.
Last night she had been upset that her best friend wouldn't stay and
comfort her. She was pissed that he acted so insensitive and tried to
pretend he wasn't. But right now, all she wanted was his arms around
her.

When she reached the couch, she knelt on the floor beside the couch
and began uncharacteristically to sob, her face buried in her hands.

Toby awoke to hear someone sobbing beside him. He knew immediately
that it was CJ. He opened his eyes quickly. "CJ?" He asked, sitting
up and leaning forward.

She only began to cry harder.

"Shsh, it's okay. What's wrong?" Toby asks, removing her hands from
her face and gently pulling her onto the couch beside him.

CJ could barely speak. How could she tell him all she need was to lie
there and sob into his chest? "I..I.." Thinking that it'd be too
difficult and embarrassing to relay her dream to him, she searched
for better words. "Toby… I, I lose everyone I ever let myself get
close to. I can't stand it. I lost Simon just when I was about to
really let myself love him." She scrunches her face up in anger. " He
died because I got too close. I can never get close. And one day I'm
gonna lose all my family, too. Just like I'm losing the President
now." She threw herself into Toby's chest and began to sob
uncontrollably.

Suddenly it was clear to Toby. She had been upset all day not just
because she thought of Jed Bartlet as a second father, but because
she was regretful of ever letting herself get close to him and
everyone else. He wraps his arms around her and gives her a minute to
calm down before he speaks. When she doesn't cease, he begins to hum
the melody of "Hush Little Baby." After a minute he stops and
decides it's time to say something. " CJ, it's okay." He decides to
use the President's nick name to add a personal touch. " Jed is going
to be fine. We don't even know if he has to resign, yet. So please,
don't get upset over that. And you don't have to worry about losing
everyone you ever care for, because God would never let that happen.
I know you've had some really bad experiences in the past, but please
believe me when I say something good has got to come of the future."

CJ finally looks up at Toby. " I'm not too sure, Toby." She remembers
how he had pushed her away last night. How he wouldn't let himself
hold her. It was probably best if she just stopped caring about Toby.
But how could she when she wasn't even strong enough to pull away
from him now?

"Don't worry." He whispers softly. " You've just got to have a little
faith. Trust me."

CJ bows her head and leans back into Toby. "Toby, please don't leave
me tonight."

"I wouldn't dare." Toby breathes, entwining his fingers with CJ's. "
But I think we'd be more comfortable in the bedroom." He stand up,
taking CJ with him. Tonight he would be honourable. He wouldn't let
his best friend suffer because he was afraid that if he slept beside
her he'd get turned on. Whatever happened, he would be there for her
tonight.

He effortlessly leads CJ back to his bedroom, collecting himself.

CJ is hesitant at first, but as soon as Toby lies down and draws her
into his arms, she knows she made the right decision. "Toby," She
breathes as they settle into a comfortable position, holding and
facing each other at their sides.

"Yes," Toby sighs as breathes in the scent of CJ's still damp hair
that is splayed across his chest.

"Don't leave me, please." She nearly begs.

"Not a chance. I promise you've always got me." Toby responds softly.
After waiting over twenty years, he finally had the woman he wanted
in his arms. He didn't care if he couldn't kiss her and tell her how
much he secretly loved her, he was just glad to be holding her. It
was like a giant release.

"Don't promise. Because you just never know. Something could happen
to you and I'd be lost."

"CJ, I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon." Toby says
reassuringly, thinking that he didn't deserve her. Despite that, he
hoped and prayed that this was the beginning of the next step in
their relationship.

"Good, because I don't know how I can get through this without you.
Just promise me you`ll be here when I wake up." She yawns and
completely gives into all of her senses. The teasing scent of Toby's
cologne, the feel of his chest beneath her cheek, the sound of his
steady heart beating. This is what she deserved. What she had wanted
for so long. Before long, she finds herself dozing off in a deep,
peaceful sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few hours later, CJ comfortably drifts back into consciousness .She
immediately remembers where she is and the manner in which she fell
asleep earlier. A smile spreads across her face as she reaches to her
side to find Toby. Just as quickly, her smile fades as she opens her
eyes to see nothing but a ruffled sheet where Toby had been lying.

"Toby, " She calls softly, not wanting to wake the children in the
next room. Suddenly she wonders if he had went back to the couch to
sleep. Perhaps she had made him uncomfortable when she asked him to
stay with her. I shouldn't have done that. It wasn't fair of me to
ask him to do that. I know he has a bit of a crush on me and maybe I
was being a tease, she thinks to herself. How could I do that to my
best friend. I have to find a way to thank him.

She lies back down, realizing that Toby probably wasn't going to
return, just as Toby enters the room.

"Hey," He smiles. There was not a trace of awkwardness or regret on
his face. " I'm sorry I left. Huck was hungry, so I fed him." He
crawls back onto the bed.

"It's okay. You just said you'd be there when I woke up, and I held
you to it." CJ wraps her arms around Toby protectively as he crawls
under the covers with her.

"I'm sorry. Are you feeling any better now?" He asks, thinking that
it was way too ironic that it felt this good to wake up with her.
What had been holding him back from telling her how he felt all these
years? … The same thing that was holding him back from verbalizing
his love now: He didn't want to hurt her.

"Yeah, much." She says lazily.

"Then I should probably go back to the couch and let you get some
decent sleep." Toby suggests without conviction.

CJ turns to face him. " No. If you want me to get some sleep, it's
best if you stay. Please?"

Toby smiles coyly. " Alright, if you insist."

So they curl up in each other and spend the night dreaming of what it
would be like to be able to say the things they've longed to say to
each other for years.
Part 7

The morning began wonderfully for Toby and CJ.

CJ awoke feeling rested and content, not something she was accustom
to. Waking up like this caused her to open her eyes to see what was
so different than any other morning. And there it was: Toby's face
curled into her long neck and his arms wrapped protectively around
her small waist. She had to sigh. What would she ever do without him?
Nothing had felt this good before, and she didn't want it to end. But
a part of her knew that within the next hour and a half, both Toby
and herself would be walking into the White House, separating, and
pretending they were still the same two people. She had to do
something to tell Toby how she felt right now, and that after waiting
for this for as long as she could imagine, she didn't want to lose it.

Just as her thoughts were wandering, Toby shifted in his sleep as he
slowly woke up. He reached out blindly to pull CJ closer to him. Then
it dawned on him that they weren't together. That last night was
merely him helping her out. That she had no romantic interest in him
at all. So he removed himself from her hold and began to sit up.

"What's wrong?" CJ asks, reaching for Toby's hand. She didn't want
him to leave yet.

"Uh, we gotta …gotta get ready for work." Typical of him to find the
logical answer to why he couldn't sit and enjoy his time with the
woman he loved. He knew once they got back into the office, she'd
become the incredible media mogul that he couldn't have. They'd go
back to the regular work banter that they shared with all the other
co-workers. It was best if he tried to forget how she could make him
feel.

"We've got some time." CJ shrugged. They weren't exactly supposed to
be in the office today, but both of them wanted to see the President
as soon as they could. "Hey, I never thanked you for last night." She
sits up in bed.

Toby shrugs a shoulder. "You don't need to. I was glad to help."

CJ smiles coyly. "Oh, but I think I should still do something nice
for you. How's this…?" CJ leans over and gently touches Toby's cheek.
When he doesn't move, she moves closer and begins to meld their lips
together in a soft, gentle kiss. Sensing Toby's surprise, CJ backs
off and smiles. " What? Do I have morning breath?"

"No," Toby stated calmly as he played with the sheet in his hand.

CJ tilted her head. " Why, Tobias, I believe I've made you blush." CJ
laughs, then turns serious. " Seriously, Toby, it was just a kiss.
We've shared many before." But they never ended the way I wanted them
to….

"Not like that." Toby said, still staring at the blanket.

"Toby, what the hell? Are you alright?" CJ grows angry and concerned.
He was acting like a heartbroken teenager.

"No, CJ, I'm not alright. I can't stand this. I don't want to just
walk away from you, but damn it ,CJ, I'm not your toy." Toby was
frustrated. Nothing made him happier than sleeping beside CJ last
night. But this was the problem in their relationship, whenever
something good would happen, they'd both want more but were too
scared to make any commitment to getting it.

CJ simply stared. " Toby, I'm sorry… I never meant…"

Toby sighed dramatically. "That's the problem, CJ. God, you're so
smart, but sometimes you just don't think. Then there's times you
think too much. You say you need someone but don't have the guts to
be anything to them once you're done needing them."

CJ's eyes widened in shock and anger. Her face began to redden. "
Well thank you, Dr. Froid, for identifying all my life problems. Ya
know what, I'm just going to get out of here and leave you to your
miserable routine. Goodbye." She stands up and storms out of the room.

God, did he really just tell her she was dumb and didn't trust
anyone? "Wait, CJ!" Toby called after her, rushing to the living room.

She grabs the handle on the front door, fully prepared to leave.

Toby stops, out of breath and worried. " You can't go running away
all the time. We need to..we need to…" Toby grasped for the words.

"What, is the speechwriter speechless? I'm leaving, and contrary to
what you think, I'm not running away. And don't worry about your
precious , damn Yankees shirt. I'll get it back to you later." With
that, she stomps outside and slams the door behind her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After returning home and getting ready, CJ arrives at work frustrated
and tired already. She ignores the message Carol gives her saying
that Toby called and wanted her to meet him in his office before
Staff.

CJ simply growls. She wasn't ready to face Toby yet… Probably because
he was right about her. She shouldn't have led him on the way she
did. It was all or nothing. God, she wanted it to be all, but she
just wasn't ready yet. She knew she had to find a way to patch things
up with Toby, and more importantly, find a way to tell him that she
had every intention of following through with the leads she gave him.

When they both arrived at Leo's office at the same time, CJ didn't
even look at Toby at first.

Toby was first to speak. " CJ, I'm sorry about before. I think we
need to talk." Toby was trying to be as sensitive as he could. He had
had no business saying what he did to CJ, and knew that he had only
said it because he was too chicken himself to make a binding
commitment to her.

CJ rolled her eyes. " We're at work now, Toby. We have stuff to do.
We can talk about this later."

Margaret looks up from her desk, obviously interested in the
conversation.

When Toby and CJ look at her like she's intruding, Margaret simply
smiles. " You can go in now."

CJ sighs and drops her shoulders. " Thank you." She walks in first,
pretending Toby isn't right behind her.

Josh and Will are standing around casually, obviously waiting for
them to arrive.

"Good morning." Leo looks at CJ and Toby expectantly, wondering why
they weren't talking.

"Morning, Leo." Toby states sarcastically.

"Well, now that we've all exchanged pleasantries…" Will laughs
nervously.

Leo clears his throat. " The doctors have okayed us to see the
President this morning. After we're done here, we can go to GW and
see him. The media is handling the issue with little problems, which
is good. CJ, you'll give the 11 o'clock briefing, but nothing about
resignation." He looks up to see CJ confirm with a nod. He then
continues. " The President has been informed by his doctors of the
prognosis and treatment suggestions. I anticipate he'll have a talk
with us about his decision within the next couple of days. If there's
nothing that needs to be addressed, can we go to GW now?" He looks
around the room. Everyone shrugs to indicate that they had nothing
more to say. " Okay, let's go." Leo grabs his jacket from behind his
chair and everyone begins to file out.

"Hey, You feelin' any better? " Josh asks CJ as he matches her stride.

CJ smiles innocently. " What do you mean? Did Donna tell you?"

Josh takes on that confused look. "What, no. But what are you talking
about?"

"Nothing." CJ lies as they continue to make their way outside.

"What happened? What about you and Donna? Does Donna know something I
don't know?"

"Josh, we could write a book on what you don't know Donna knows."
This was actually amusing CJ.

Josh sighs.

"You two wanna join the group?" Leo turns around and asks as CJ and
Josh fell more and more behind as their conversation had continued.

CJ and Josh speed up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The President is ready to see you now. Please go in one at a time."
A young-looking attractive nurse addresses the staff who are waiting
in the Waiting Room at George Washington Hospital.

They all look around at each other, wondering who should be first.

Finally, Leo pipes up, " CJ, why don't you go first?"

CJ looks around. " Why me?"

"Because ladies always go first." Leo smiled sincerely.

"With all do respect, CJ isn't a lady." Josh almost laughs.

You wanna bet, Toby thinks to himself.

" If you're thinking I've had a sex change, Josh, I can take you into
the Ladies room and prove it to you right now that I haven't.." It
was hard, but CJ remained serious. It was okay to joke around with
Josh.

"Hey!" Toby yells, then reminds himself that it wasn't his place to
defend CJ, especially when she was handling it well on her on.

"Would you just go in?" Leo directs in frustration.

"Gladly." CJ stands up. " I'll be back soon."

" You had to make that comment, didn't you, Josh?" Toby asks, still
upset.

"Would you two drop it? You try to surround yourself with the best
political and legal minds in the country, and instead I get you
guys." Leo almost cracks a smile. Sometimes he didn't mind
playing "babysitter" to the younger guys.

"I'm just saying that you know full well that CJ is a lady and you
shouldn't be making comments about something so sensitive as that.
CJ's very vulnerable right now." Toby looks at his hands.

" You should know since she spent the last two nights at your place."
Josh says under his breath, then looks away.

"Josh!" Toby glares.

"Relax, Toby. Josh was concerned when I told him what you said about
CJ being over at your house yesterday morning. It's no big deal." Leo
was sensing some real tension between the two senior staffers and he
wanted it to stop.

"Well the way he said it was like I was sleeping with her or
something." Toby raised his voice.

"Well, are you?" Josh baited.

"No!" Toby screams. Well, not in the literal sense, he thinks to
himself as he calms down. " She's my friend, and my colleague. I'd
never…do that." Toby knew what he said wasn't true. Thank God they
didn't know what had went on last night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Good morning, Mr. President, how are you feeling?" CJ ask cordially
as she enters the President's hospital room. She had braced herself
for breathing tubes and one-sided conversations, but she was
pleasantly surprised to see him sitting up in bed and smiling at her.

The President beams. " My, my, Ms. Claudia Jean. You get taller every
time I see you… which was just yesterday."

CJ smiles. " Please don't joke about that, sir." Then she realizes
that he's sitting in bed, recovering from a heart attack, he could
joke about whatever he wanted to.

He continues to smile. " Well aren't you going to give an old guy a
hug?"

"I would ,sir, but there's about ten armed guards outside of here and
they might shoot me if I approached you too quickly." CJ makes her
way over to his bedside.

"It's okay. They know who you are." The President winks. " Have you
seen Abbey?"

"No, sir."

"Good."

" But I'm sure Mrs. Bartlet would tell you to rest up."

"CJ, this is a courtesy call, right? Let's drop the `sir' and `Mr.
President', we're not at the office." He smiles.

She smiles. " It's hard to change overnight." She admits.

"I heard you were concerned about me." It was more a question.

"Where did you hear that from?" CJ asks, slightly alarmed.

"Leo." Jed states simply.

"Well, I'm certainly not the only one. I heard the girls were very
upset."

Jed smiles and laughs his familiar New England laugh. " Oh, they're
pussycats, all of them."

CJ takes a deep breath. " Sir, are the doctors suggesting giving up
the presidency?"

Jed's smile fades. " They're all Republicans, CJ. Don't listen to
them. They just want me out of office."

"Mr. President, I'm sure they have your best interest in mind. I just
wanted to know what you were going to do."

"And you'll be the third person to know when I make a decision." It
was obvious he didn't want to talk about it.

"Third, sir?" CJ enquires, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, you'll know after my wife and Leo." Jed nods his head.

"Of course. " CJ agrees.

Jed sighs and leans back against his pillow. "CJ, I don't have a
final decision to give you yet."

"That's understandable, sir. This is very difficult for you." CJ nods.

"This is very difficult for all of us. This isn't going to be an easy
battle, CJ, and no decision will be made lightly. But, I promise if
I'm going to give up, it'll be on my own terms. I'm going to need all
of your help on this one."

CJ clears her throat. " And as always, I serve at your pleasure. And
I'm sure I can speak on behalf of all the staff in saying that you
have our full, loyal support."

Jed smiles. "And as always, CJ, you are an eloquent orator. Now, I
don't want to complain, but I'm supposed to be resting and there's
about four or five of my advisors out there who probably want to see
for themselves that I'm still breathing. So, if there's nothing else
you need…"

CJ gives a nod. " Of course, sir. I'll leave you alone. Enjoy your
rest."

Jed reaches out to take CJ's hand. " Thank you for being here. I
promise you that I'm going to do my best not to let you, or anyone
else I care about, down."

"Mr. President, there is nothing you could possibly that would make
us think any less of you."

Jed smiles warmly. "Awe, CJ, you give me too much credit. Now, go
away." He smiles again.

"Thank you, Mr. President. Rest up and we'll see you soon."

"Thank you, CJ." The President winks as CJ closes the door behind her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Toby, come on in. Take a seat." Jed smiles welcomingly as Toby
steps into the hospital room.

"Good morning, sir. How are you feeling?" Toby asks sincerely.

"Much better now that I've seen most of my staff. How are the babies?"

Toby pulls up a chair beside the bed. " Wonderful. Andy picked them
up this morning."

"Did you and CJ have a good time watching them this weekend? I feel
bad about ruining everybody's weekend off."

" Don't worry about it, sir. And, uh, how'd you know CJ was helping
me look after my kids?"

"Toby, I know everything that goes on the in the West Wing,
regardless of whether or not I'm in the Oval Office. Besides, Leo
told me."

"Fair enough, sir."

Jed pauses a moment. " It was nice of CJ to help you out."

"Yes, it was." Toby says simply.

"Have you thought of a way to thank her yet?"

"Excuse me." Toby clears her throat.

"Thank her, for helping you out?"

"I have expressed my gratitude, sir." It is obvious Toby is
uncomfortable.

"Good. Toby, she didn't help you out just because she loves children,
it was probably because she cares about you."

"As I care about her, too." Toby says as nonchalantly as he could.

Jed clears his throat. For a man recovering from a heart attack, he
looked remarkably calm and well. "Have you ever told her that, Toby?"

"I beg your pardon, sir?" Toby asks calmly.

"Have you told CJ how much you care about her?" Jed repeats.

Toby clears his throat, uncomfortably. " There have been occasions
when… That is to say I… No, not exactly. But she knows that I'm her
friend and that I will help her in any way I can."

"That's not good enough." Jed states with finality.

"Pardon me?"

"I said that's not good enough. Toby, neither of you are getting any
younger and the two of you obviously have feelings for one another
beyond friendship, so why don't you make a move?"

Toby almost smiles. " You're asking me, sir, you Communications
Director, to make a move on your Press Secretary whom you regard as
one of your own daughters?"

"Well, it's about time, isn't it? Toby, you're the man, do something.
Just don't push her. But never be afraid to tell CJ how you feel
about her. Her reaction may pleasantly surprise you."

"Sir, with all due respect, it's not that simple. Things are
complicated. And if she doesn't react the way I would want her to
react under the circumstances, more than my pride would be hurt."

"But, if you don't do something it'll pass over and you'll never get
a chance to experience the `what if'. And, you'll regret that, Toby.
Love is a lot like what we do in the office every day. If you don't
go after what you believe in-what you want- you'll never get that
good feeling, and you'll never be satisfied."

Toby sighs. " Sir, I appreciate you…giving me relationship advice,
but I'm not sure if now's the right time to…" Toby is starting to get
annoyed with this conversation.

Jed cuts him off with a knowing look. "Excuse, excuses, Toby. Life
is too short and you have to cease the day while you can. You know,
gather ye rosebuds."

" Mr. President, with all due respect, can we leave CJ's rosebuds out
of this?" Toby says in all seriousness.

Jed bursts out laughing and has to clutch his chest to contain his
laughter.

Toby stands up in surprise. "Mr. President, are you alright?" He asks
calmly.

Jed calms down. " What's the matter, Toby, never seen an old man
laugh? I was simply saying that you should cease the opportunity
while you've still got it."

Toby continues to stand, that bit of anger rising. " We had a fight,
damnit, I can't tell her I love her now!" Toby shouts spontaneously.
He pinches the flesh of skin on the bridge of his nose. He collects
himself. " I'm, I'm sorry. It's just, she won't believe me. And she
shouldn't…"

Jed clear his throat. " You know, you're the only one that hasn't
mentioned me having to resign." It was obvious that Jed knew he had
stepped on a nerve, and he didn't want to pester Toby.

Toby sighs. " Well, I didn't feel it was appropriate."

Jed leans back. " Fix the fight. Apologize for whatever you did, and
mean it, then move on. Tell her how you feel, mean it, and hope for
the best. And Toby, don't feel inadequate. As men, we are blessed
with all these amazing women in our lives, and it's okay to enjoy
that. CJ will tell you you have nothing to feel insecure about."

Toby rolls his eyes. " That's all you got?"

"Toby, I'm President of the United States of America, I'm certainly
no relationship therapist. But one thing I can tell you, you're
wasting valuable time. Don't put it off. Love is hard to find and
often only comes once in a lifetime, that's all I can say."

"Okay… I'll let you go now, sir. Is there anything you need before I
go?"


"No, but thank you, Toby. Now, go. Remember, gather ye rosebuds." Jed
winks.

"Thank you, Mr. President. Have a good day."

As Toby closes the door, the President's words of advice echoes in
his ears. Fix the fight. Apologize for whatever you did, and mean it,
then move on. Tell her how you feel, mean it, and hope for the best….
If it were only that simple, Toby thinks.

Part 8

CJ was lying back on her living room couch, leafing through some work
files, when she hears a knock on the door. It was getting late which
caused her to feel suspicious. She hated her apartment. It always
gave her the chills. One day soon she was going to move. It was just
finding the time.

She quickly got up and looked through the peephole, pleasantly
surprised to see Toby standing outside nonchalantly. She almost
smiles as she opens the door.

"Hey, what's up?" She asks, facing Toby.

Toby shrugs. " You forgot your bag at my place. I didn't notice until
I got home and I figured there might be something in it that you
couldn't live without. Or, something like that." He holds up her
suitcase.

CJ smiles. " Thanks, Toby. You didn't have to bring it over tonight.
You, uh, wanna come in?" She glances back inside. She wasn't quite as
neat as Toby, but she supposed her apartment was clean enough for
him. Time didn't always permit her to tidy up, and there was simply
no decent housecleaning service in the area.

"No, I better get going." Toby looks toward the end of the hallway.
It was awkward for him. Sure, he had spent enough time here, but he
got the sense that their pervious fight hadn't just dematerialized
while he was avoiding her. But, seeing her suitcase on his bedroom
floor told him he had to talk to her some time, if not for the sake
of acting like a mature adult.

"No, come on in. Have a drink. I guess I kind of owe you one." CJ
steps back into the living room, persuading Toby to follow her lead.

"You don't owe me anything." Toby said seriously.

CJ's apartment was much like Toby's in the sense that the living room
and kitchen sort of flowed into one another, and the hallway was at
the back of the room. It was a little classier with expensive artwork
along the wall and some autographs of famous musicians and actors
she met while in California.

CJ takes a seat on the couch. " I was going to put some tea on, you
want that instead?"

Toby supposed it was time for him to apologize, anyway. " Yeah, sure.
Thanks."

CJ walks in to the kitchen and starts to fill the kettle. " Toby,"
She raises her voice only loud enough for him to barely here her. "
I'm sorry about this morning… if it made you uncomfortable. The last
thing I wanted to do was tease you, and it was completely out of
line."

"No, don't apologize. I wasn't…uncomfortable. I just didn't
understand your intentions, if there were any. And I should be the
one apologizing."

CJ walks back into the room and takes a seat beside Toby on the
couch.

Toby continues as he removes his suit jacket. " What I said was
completely untrue and very much out of line. You know I didn't mean
anything I said, right?"

"Then what made you say it?" CJ asks.

Okay, time for some honesty, Toby preps himself. " I was saying it to
take some of the heat off me. It isn't you that can't make a
commitment, it's me. It's not that I don't want to, I just don't want
to ruin anything between us. Not.. Not that there's anything between
us. I mean, there's…" Toby sighs. Now that it was out, he was even
more nervous.

CJ merely smiles. "Toby, after twenty years of friendship, there
better damn well be something between us. And you don't have to worry
about ruining anything. Just be yourself. That's who I like. And, I
know I sometimes flirt to get my way, but my intentions with you are
always true. So, there's no reason to be nervous."

Toby nods as CJ reaches out to take his hand. "CJ…" He practically
begs.

She leans in and smiles. " Shsh…" This time she starts out slow but
quickly picks the pace of their kiss up. Just as Toby is about to
really relax and enjoy their splendid kiss, the kettle starts to
whistle in the kitchen.

CJ groans as she pulls away. "Wanna skip the tea?" She asks, going
into the kitchen.

"And do what?" Toby raises his voice a little so she could hear him.

CJ looks back and gives Toby a coy smile. " I can think of a lot of
things I'd like to do with you right now."

Toby's eyes widen as CJ turns off the stove.

She smile as she walks over to him and stands in front of him. " I'm
sorry, I'm extremely blunt. Coy is a bad colour on me. Come on." She
takes his hands and lifts him up off the couch.

"Wha, where are we going?" Toby asks as she leads him toward the
small hallway at the back of the room.

"Oh, I forgot, you've never actually been in my bedroom before, have
you?"

Toby's voice raises an octave. " CJ!"

CJ backs them into her bedroom, smiling. " Don't worry, Toby, after
twenty years of this cat and mouse, I'm not going to jump into bed
with you right away."

"Then what the hell is going on?"

CJ sits down on the end of her bed, dropping Toby's hands. She slowly
crosses her arms over her chest and slips the cotton button down over
her head.

Toby's eyes pop. " CJ, I thought you said…"

CJ laughs softly. " Toby, if you think you can just lie in bed with
me and hold me, I'd really like to do this."

Toby sighs. " I'm just so very confused." He watches as CJ throws her
slacks on the floor.

CJ reaches up and takes Toby's hands again, gently pulling him onto
the bed. " Toby, I've wanted this for a long time. Let's just sit and
talk and kiss and explore what we've both wanted to for so long now."
CJ was being as open and honest as she could be. She wasn't ready for
much of a verbal revelation yet, but she knew if Toby would let her
be close to him, she could assure him that she was "in".

"CJ, I don't know…" Toby says, rubbing her arms in his hands.

She smiles warmly. " All you have to do is hold me, Pokey. I think
this is the beginning of something new for us. I want you to know
that you don't have to do anything more. I'm in, I'm yours. Just,
don't break my heart, okay?"

Now it's Toby turn to smile. He gently touches her bare skin and
pulls her into his side as they both lay back to lie on their
sides. " I promise, that won't be a problem. I know of a lot of
people who will be keeping an eye on me if word of this ever gets
out."

CJ reaches up to begin unbuttoning Toby's dress shirt. " We're going
to tell people?"

Toby leans back and enjoys something he could have only dreamed
of. "Well, secrecy doesn't usually work in our line of work. I think
we should be honest and tell our colleagues that we're… romantically
interested in each other."

CJ stops sliding her fingers along her chest to think for a second. "
Is that what you would call us? Romantically interested?"

Toby looks down at her and rubs her bare shoulder, then sits up to
take off his pants. " I don't know. What would you call us?"

"See, now that's not fair. I asked you first."

Toby groans. What exactly were they? Well, to him she was his best
friend and the women he had secretly wanted for so many years. The
women he loved and cherished and wanted to give the world to, yet
didn't even have the guts to barely touch her. Not that he didn't
want to. It's just, here she was in front of him, completely
surrendering herself to him, his CJ. That strong woman who stood up
against men every day of her life and played what would be considered
a man's game of political hard ball. She was someone who rarely
expressed her real emotions and never wore her heart on her sleeve.
And yet, here she was. He didn't need to feel like he was taking
advantage of her, because he knew she really trusted him or she
wouldn't be lying here in his arms in just a bra and underwear. He
sighs. " But technically I was the one who brought it up."

"Toby…" CJ warns softly.

"Okay, you wanna know what I think? I think I should listen to the
President and gather my rosebuds."

"Excuse me?" CJ laughs softly.

"Never mind. The point is that you are an amazing woman and you're my
best friend ,and if you'll permit me, I'd like to have a serious
relationship with you outside of casual flirtation." He brings his
hands up to cup her face.

"Awe, and here I was thinking I could flirt with you." She smiles. "
Thank you, Toby. That's just what I wanted to hear. But, I'm sick of
talking. " She takes her hands which were resting on his forearms as
he held her face, and moved them down his shoulder and to his back as
they once again began a careful exploration of each other's mouths.

After they eventually break off, CJ leans back flat against the bed
and sighs. " This feels right, doesn't it?"

Toby gathers CJ into his arms, allowing her to rest her head in the
crook of his neck. " Yes, very right." He simply lies there, thinking
about all the time they had wasted.


When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby

Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you

Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...

Toby clears his throat. " CJ, you're not going to regret this, are
you?" The former insecurities the President told him to drop were
surfacing.

CJ almost smiles. " Toby, I've wanted this for a very long time.
Don't you dare think about running away now."

Toby tilts his head to look at her. " I could never even think about
leaving you. I just wanted to be sure you were okay with us. I know I
don't usually say stuff like this, but I can't remember a time when I
was happier than this. I keep noticing all of the small things."

This time CJ did smile. "Like what kind of small things?"

Toby guides CJ to lie on top of him. " Like how soft you are, and
how good you smell."

CJ laughs heartily. "Oh, Toby, no man has ever been that blunt with
me."

Toby grimaces. " Let's not talk about other guys."

CJ watches Toby's face. " Toby, I'm 43, there have obviously been
other men in my life."

"I know, but let's not talk about that."

CJ drags her fingers along Toby's bare chest. " Okay, then let's talk
about some of the other women in your life. Andy was wonderful…"

"CJ…" Toby groans. " What happened a year and half ago was just…
crazy. The only good that came of it was Huck and Molly. And as for
our marriage…it, it never felt like this. Andy is…not you." Toby
hated talking about this to CJ. Sure he had loved Andy and he still
cared about her, but she was always his second choice. He had always
felt like he wasn't giving his all to her, and that he had taken
advantage of her.

CJ contradicts. " Andy is younger, more gorgeous, brilliant and a
great mother."

Toby sighs. " I'll give you younger, but solely based on your dates
of birth and nothing else. As for everything else… You are absolutely
gorgeous, brilliant as well as charismatic, and I think you'd make a
terrific mother."

"Really?" CJ asks, sinking back into Toby.
"Absolutely."

"Then I'm glad I'm with a communications guy, because you can
certainly sway a girl with your words, Toby. Please, don't stop."
She closes her eyes.


"Well, there are a lot of things I've wanted to say to you for quite
a long time, now. But, I think we should get some sleep." Toby just
didn't want to push anything.

CJ opens her eyes again. " Ya know, this isn't awkward at all. I
thought it might be, but it isn't. I can see you as the
Communications Director when we're at work, and I can see you as…you,
when you're lying here beside me. And, I honestly don't think I'm
going to have trouble bridging the two."

"I think I'll have trouble separating the work-you from the you I see
now. I just hope I don't suddenly walk up to you in the Press
Briefing Room and grab you and kiss you or something" Toby smiles
jokingly. Deep down, though, he was serious. How was he going to go
to work tomorrow and pretend she was just his colleague?

CJ sighs, once again curling into Toby. " Don't worry about that. In
all honesty, if you did do that, it'd make work a lot more exciting."

"In our line of work, excitement isn't always a good thing." Toby
states. " Honestly, CJ, are we just going to go in there tomorrow and
pretend…nothing happened?"

CJ sighs again. " Toby, I never want to pretend I don't care about
you. But, for the mean time, let's just keep this strictly to
ourselves. There could be problems if something got out, and the
President doesn't need this right now. With the heart attack and
everything, the last thing we need is rumours about us going around.
We don't have to ignore each other, but we have to keep our personal
lives separate from our work lives."

"Okay." Toby agrees, reluctantly.

After a minute of silence, CJ resumes conversation. " Are you
comfortable?"

"Yes, very, how about you?" Toby tilts CJ's head so he could look at
her.

"Definitely. I don't know why, but I feel so much safer with you
here."

"Safer? Why, do you not normally feel safe here?" Toby grows
concerned.

CJ pauses a second. " It's not that I don't feel safe, it's just,
this place isn't as nice as it was when I first moved in. There's
been a lot of crimes committed around here, and it's starting to
lose some of the class it had before. I don't know, sometimes I wake
up and wonder if someone's right outside my window or something."

"That doesn't sound good, CJ. I think you should consider moving."
Toby suggested, pulling her back down into his arms in a comforting
gesture.

"I have considered it. I'm not sure, yet. But I really do feel better
knowing you're here."

"Well, I'm glad. I'll do anything I can. I don't want you to feel
unsafe in your own home. What about Secret Service protection?"

"Totally out of the question. I hate it. Makes me feel like I'm being
babysat. Let's just drop this, okay?"

"Yeah. But if you ever come home and don't feel good about staying
here, you can always stop by my place. I'll never lock the door to
you."

"Okay. I may have to take you up on that, Toby. For now, can you just
hold me like this all night?"

"Most definitely." Toby nods, wrapping his arms even more securely
around her and getting a sense of peace that was becoming all too
familiar to him. The hell with it, he could hold her forever. Now, if
only he could find the words to make all this final…

Part 9

Another morning had started wonderfully for Toby and CJ. They awoke
entwined in each other's arms and Toby cooked breakfast as CJ
showered. After breakfast Toby had returned to his place to shower
and dress. But, they didn't leave CJ's apartment until they
absolutely had to. Both of them had left with a positive feeling and
confidence that they could handle the day ahead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
"Okay, so Toby's party is going to be on the 29th?" Josh asks,
stepping out of his office and into the hallway where he met Donna.

"Say it a little louder Josh, there's a guy working the Concession
who didn't hear you." Donna states sarcastically as she proceeds to
walk away from Josh.

Josh sighs. " I was just clarifying. Remember how we talked about you
being nicer to me?"

"How quickly I can forget things." Donna says, stopping. " Josh, go
to Staff."

Josh rests his elbow against the wall. " But, I want to talk about
Toby's surprise party."

Donna raises an eyebrow. " You've got work to do, Josh. You know
where to find me if you need me." Donna starts to head back to
her "office". "Oh, by the way, you've got the ex-VP, John Hoynes, in
an hour."

Josh groans loudly. " And let me guess, we're jogging, aren't we?"

Donna calls back, "No, swimming."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Okay, I guess that about raps it up. The President wants to see all
of us in the Residence now. So, let's go." Leo removes his glasses
and then joins the group filing out of his office.

No one was saying much, which was very unusual. They were all nervous
and anxious to hear that the President wanted to talk to all of them
about some of the decisions he had made. None of the staffers could
imagine him saying he was going to resign, but then again, his wife
was a doctor. But they knew whatever decision he made would be made
with careful consideration, and the American people in mind.

A few minutes later, Leo, Toby, Josh and CJ all arrive outside the
master bedroom in the Residence. The guard standing beside the door
promptly lets them in.

This time when they all walked into his bedroom, they noticed that he
didn't look as good as he did yesterday. The bags under the
President's eyes were more noticeable, he looked paler, and in
general, he was not the stubborn-headed democrat they all knew and
loved. He looked like a small child about to confess to his parents
that he stole the cookie from the cookie jar.

When the President didn't say anything, everyone greeted in unison. "
Good morning, Mr. President."

Jed nodded and cleared his throat. " Good morning, all. I'd offer you
all a seat, but there doesn't seem to be enough. Why don't you just
come a little closer so I don't have to shout?"

The group filed around the end of the bed.

"Good morning, sir. I believe you wanted to see us altogether." Leo
states as more of a question.

"Yes, that's right. In the past twenty-four hours I have been seeking
the support and advice of intelligent individuals whom I admire and
respect. Among the long list, I spoke with doctors awarded Nobel
prizes, economists, my Priest, and various aides and lawyers. And,
for some reason I have a slight recollection of speaking with Paul
McCartney, but that may have been a dream. The point is, I didn't
want to make a decision without all of the facts and opinions. Now,
I'd like to hear what all of you have to say. I don't want to hear
from you what you think I should do, rather the pros and cons of each
option I have. Anyone have any advice?" Jed had never been so vague.
Had never asked his staff for their opinions like this. Sure he took
everything they told him into consideration, but for him to come out
and a blatantly say that he couldn't make a decision was very
uncharacteristic.

Everyone was silent. Leo decided to speak up. " Well, sir, what are
your options?"

Jed leans back. " It is not recommended that I finish my second
term. I could resign immediately and hand over power to the Vice-
President until an election occurs to have him officially voted in by
the people. Or, I can wait until re-election and just drop out and
then the winner will take my position. Or, I can stick it out for the
remainder of the term. I've listed those in order of professional
preference, rather than personal preference. But, I'm sure there are
other options, as well."

CJ pipes up. " Sir, you can't just resign. Think of the problems that
could cause from a PR standpoint."

"But, if your doctors are telling you not to finish the term, then
that's not an option, either." Josh adds.

"We could always call an election when we're ready and step down.
Take a bit of time to tie up all the loose ends and make sure you
leave with a solid legacy." Toby states without enthusiasm. Truth be
told, his mind was still back with CJ, lying in her bed with his arms
and legs entwined with hers. He could still remember the feel of her
and how she smelled and tasted. Still remembered what a great kisser
she was. It was getting harder and harder not to just grab her and
pull her into his arms right now.

"I like Toby's idea." The President states, staring into the air as
if it were the first time any one had mentioned that option.

"I do, too." Leo agrees.

"Are you sure it won't affect your recovery?' Josh enquires, still
concerned.

Jed sighs and rolls his eyes. "Of course it will affect my recovery,
Josh. But, sometimes we have to do what's best for the American
people. Plus, I really don't want to be known as the quitter."

"Sir, no one will think you're a quitter. Most people respect and
admire you as much as all of us do." It wasn't the warmest statement
on CJ's part, but she didn't want to go overboard.

"Oh, well, thank you, CJ, but I'm not so sure about that." Jed laughs
softly.

Toby smiles. " Don't mind CJ, sir, she's just very sentimental." Toby
winks at CJ, playfully. It was hard to look at her and not smile. It
was eerie.

"Toby!" CJ raises her voice and almost laughs.

"What? It's not you fault the President's your only male hero."
Toby's still laughing.

"Toby!" CJ is still shocked to hear Toby say that in front of
everyone.

Everyone is watching the exchange between CJ and Toby with surprise.
It was not common for CJ and Toby to be so friendly at work.

Jed has stopped laughing. "I'm a hero to you, CJ?"

CJ sighs and blushes. " Sir…"

"You're a hero to all of us, sir." Josh smiles, relieving CJ of her
discomfort.

Leo smiles and rolls his eyes. "Alright, kids, let's get back to
business."

Jed nods. " Yes, so I like Toby's plan. What do the rest of you
think?"

Leo looks at the others. " Sir, you've talked to dozens of doctors
and the Pope. You're honestly asking our opinion?

"Yes, not only because this will affect all of you significantly, but
also because in my opinion, no doctor could compete with the wonder
that is the four of you put together." Jed winks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CJ sighs with content. " You know, if we keep doing this, I'm going
to start to get used to sleeping next to you."

Toby merely smiles, pulling CJ closer to him, under the covers of his
bed, later that night. " I wouldn't mind that in the least."

It had all started earlier that day at work. A little while after
they had visited the President, CJ had returned to her office to read
the material for her afternoon briefing. Then Josh had walked in…

"CJ, Josh is here." Carol poked her head around the door.

CJ looks up from the computer screen. " Send him in."

Immediately Josh pokes his head into the office. "Hey, Toby's not
around , is he?" Josh asks as he steps into the room and slumps down
on the couch.

CJ shakes her head, then starts to blush. Why was Josh really asking
that? " Uh, why would you think he'd be around here?"

Josh looks back at CJ suspiciously. " Uh, no reason. I just wanted to
talk about the, ya know, surprise… thing."

CJ smiles, relieved Josh wasn't assuming she'd be with Toby. " Well,
it's going to be on the 29th . That way it's about a week before his
actual birthday and he won't suspect it." She returns back to her
work.

"Great. What can I do?" Josh sits up and leans forward.

CJ looks back at Joshing, peering at him through her glasses. " You
want to help? You, Josh Lyman?"

Josh rolls his eyes, a little uncomfortable. " Yeah, is that so hard
to believe? It's not a big deal, really. I think we should do
something nice for Toby."

CJ smiles. " You really are sweet sometimes. Now, go back to work.
I'll make a list and let you know if there's anything I need your
help with."

Josh stands up. " Okay, but just for the record, I'm the one that's
supposed to tell you to get back to work."


CJ shakes her head, affectionately. "Yes, but you've never had to do
that to date. So, get out of my office."

Josh turns to leave, then looks back at CJ. " You think the President
really meant it when he said the four of us were unstoppable
together? I mean, you, me, Toby and Leo."

CJ looks up again. " Well, when you surround yourself with the
best..." She winks.

Josh looks serious as he walks out. " Yeah, we are the best. We're
the men…Well…"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby entered CJ's office shortly after Josh had left.

CJ doesn't look up from the papers she is reading. " What's up,
Pokey?"

Toby steps in front of her desk. " Take a walk with me." He asks
nonchalantly.

CJ looks up at Toby through her glasses. " This must be a really slow
day because it looks like I'm the only one doing anything today. I
have to work, Toby, sorry." She goes back to her reading.

"Please, it won't take long?"

CJ sighs. "Fine. You've got five minutes, max." She stands up and
follows Toby out of the office. "Carol, I'll be back in five."

"Okay, but you've got to prep the President for the press conference
in fifteen minutes." Carol calls after CJ.

Turning a corner, CJ turns to Toby. " Where are we going, and why?"

Toby smiles suspiciously. " A little place in the West Wing I know
is never occupied. As for why, well I just wanted to go to a place
where I can hold your hand." He smiles, leading CJ down corridor
after corridor until they reach a hallway CJ hadn't known existed.

"Where are we?" CJ enquires as they stop and examine a deserted
hallway.

"I'd like to think of it as our spot. A place where we can meet
without worrying about the watchful eyes of the press."

CJ stares around the dark hallway, then she turns to Toby and smiles
coyly. " And, what exactly are we going to do here that the
reporters can't see?"

Toby takes both of CJ's hands in his and leans in for a gentle kiss.

"Mmm." CJ smiles as she pulls her lips away from his. " This could be
fun, but just down that last corridor we passed are dozens of people
who could easily catch us."

They continue to hold each other's hands. "Well, this corridor isn't
even lit, so I'm doubting anyone will come down here anytime soon.
Plus, if we have to sneak around, we might as well make the most of
it."

CJ smiles seductively. " How's this for making the most of it?" She
leans into claim a passionate kiss.

Toby winces when they break off. " God, I've missed you today."

CJ looks at Toby, confused. "What do you mean?"

Toby. " This.. Us. I can't stand not being with you."

CJ smiles, warmed, wrapping her arms around Toby's neck. " Toby, you
know you've always got me. I'll always be here."

Toby looks away. " It's not enough. I want to be able to tell
everyone and celebrate this. I don't want to miss you like this."

"Toby," CJ looked at him, pleadingly. " We have to be patient. Don't
worry, everything will work out. We're secure enough to handle this.
Understand?"

Toby turned away, obviously upset. " My five minutes are up. You
better get back to prep the President."

CJ sighs and releases her hold on Toby, feeling slightly dismissed.
It wasn't her fault they had very public jobs and reputations to
withhold. They couldn't just walk down the West Wing holding hands
and expect everyone to look away. Their relationship had to be
handled delicately before word of it got into the wrong hands.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of hours later, Toby comes back to stand in CJ's door frame.

"Carol gone?" He asks, looking back and noticing that no one had told
him not to go in.

CJ doesn't look up. "Yeah, like ten minutes ago. What can I do for
you?" It was apparent that she was still upset about their
earlier "outing".

"Come home with me." Toby says, bluntly.

This causes CJ to look up at Toby's open and honest face.

"Look," He starts, coming toward her desk. " I was an idiot back
there, earlier. I shouldn't have done that to you. I know you'd want
to tell everyone if you could. The fact is, you're right. We have to
take this slowly, and I realize that now."

"Then why did you invite me to your apartment?"

"Because, I thought you might like to join me for a drink. And,
because I owe you, and want to show you my appreciation." Toby says,
shying away.

CJ laughs out loud. " And because you want to get laid? Please, Toby,
I've heard it many a time before."

Tony's jaw drops in genuine shock that CJ would assume that of
him. "CJ…" Was all he could mouth.

CJ looks up at Toby's surprised face. " Toby, I was joking."

"Well I wasn't. I really want to do something nice for you… And, I
really want to be with you, tonight." He searches for his pockets to
rest his hands in.

CJ smiles. " You are too cute when you blush. Alright, as long as we
do everything at my pace. And trust me, you'll like it. Just give me
a minute here." …

Later that night***


"Maybe you wouldn't mind it, but if I start to get too close too you,
I could get clingy." CJ smiles, shifting on top of Toby, slightly.

"Impossible." Toby breathes. " This is too nice. Plus, no one knows
of the President being asked to resign because of his health."

CJ rests her head on Toby's chest. " Let's not talk about work."

"Okay," Toby drawls, letting a strand of CJ's hair fall between his
fingers. " I was wondering if you could make me a personal promise."

CJ pushes herself up slightly, to look at Toby. " What kind of
promise?" She knew she was getting excited for nothing. After all,
they had technically only been together for a couple of short days.

Toby sighs softly as he encourages CJ to lean on him again. " I want
you to promise me that you'll look for a new apartment. I checked out
some information on your building and the surrounding neighbourhood
on my lunch hour, and quite frankly I'm concerned."

CJ shakes her head, affectionately. " Toby, there's no reason to
worry."

"Yes, there is a reason. There's been shootings, robberies, rapes,
you name it, all in that area. I'm worried about you going back there-
especially late at night as you're prone to do."

"Toby…"

"Please, CJ. Look, I don't care what it takes. I'll help you look for
a new place. I just don't want to have to worry about you."

CJ sighs, giving in. " I had fully intended on finding a new place
myself. And, I will as soon as I get the time."

Both CJ and Toby had sat up by now.

Toby shakes his head. " That's not soon enough. I think that this
weekend we should go to your apartment, give your landlord his
notice, and pack up your things. Then we can start to look for a new
place for you. In the meantime, you can stay with me."

"Toby, that'll never work." CJ states, curling back into Toby and
lying down.

"Why not? That way we wouldn't have to sneak out when we go home
together, because we could tell everyone that you're just staying
with me until you find a new apartment."

It was funny, really, how he had planned the whole thing out. " Okay,
I'll make you a deal." CJ turns on her elbows to face Toby. " I will
look for a new apartment if you make a promise to me."

Toby smiles, relieved. " Anything."

CJ lays back against Toby. " Promise me you'll quit smoking."

"What?" Toby asks, calmly.

"Toby, it really bothers me that you smoke. I'm worried about your
health." CJ's eyes are begging and desperate. It is obvious that this
is something that has been troubling her for a long time.

Toby rubs CJ's shoulder. " Ceej, I'm not a heavy smoker."

CJ sighs softly. "I know, but you know how bad it is for you. Heart
disease, cancer, emphysema… you name it."

Toby smiles, affectionately. " I'm not going to get any of those, CJ."

"You don't know that. There are no guarantees. And… it's just that… I
don't want to lose you. You're the only person in my life's who's
always been there. You're, you're my rock. The one thing that I can
cling to, and you won't let go. And it feels so good to finally be
able to tell myself that is for real, and that I can let myself need
you."

There was so much raw emotion in her tone that it just made Toby want
to pull her in closer that she already is. " And I am so glad that
you have reached that point. And I promise, you won't regret it. I
swear to you that I'm not going anywhere. You can hold on forever,
and you'll never have to worry about me budging. You're everything to
me, CJ." He rubs her slender arms in his palms and kisses her neck.

CJ merely sighs. It was true. It didn't matter if they had to pretend
they weren't a couple at work, or even in public. They were together,
the needed each other, and they both knew that. They needed nothing
else.

The End

    Source: geocities.com/ww_executive_branch