Title: Sweet Release
Author: Laura H
Rating: Probably mostly PG-13
Disclaimers: Let's put it this way: I'm 16 years old and have about $
400 in my savings account. Do you really think I own these characters?
Categories: Romance, Friendship, Drama
Synopsis: Leo breaks over a decade of sobriety and CJ's there to save
the day… in more ways than one…
Authors notes: The original idea of Leo falling off the bandwagon was
given to me by my good friend Mel. So, I can't take full credit for
this. Takes places season 3 probably.

Part 1

Leo smiles, cradling the fancy glass in his hand . It had been a
light Friday at the office and tonight's State Dinner for the
Australian Prime Minister, John Winston Howard, was turning out to be
an enjoyable event. Leo takes a sip of his punch and immediately
stops walking toward the group of people he had been heading towards.
Something in that drink tasted like Vodka. He shrugs it off. It was
punch. A very unique punch he had never tasted before. He takes
another sip and proceeds to make his way.

"Leo! Get over here!" The President calls from his circle of
followers, so Leo quickly obeys.

"Good evening, Mr. President, Mrs. Ambassador and Mr. and Mrs.
Klein." He smiles cordially at the small group in front of him. The
President looks remarkably relaxed, Leo notes.

Jed smiles warmly. " You all remember my Chief of Staff and all
around good-guy, Leo McGarrey."

Leo takes another sip from his cup. This is good punch, he thinks to
himself. It slides down his tongue and throat with remarkable ease.
But the taste is so familiar it's haunting.

"Oh course, Mr. President. But if you'll excuse us, I think I see my
husband now." The ambassador smiles and excuses herself and the other
couple leaves with her.

"Have a good evening, all of you. Enjoy the pork tenderloin." Jed
calls cheerfully after them. He turns to Leo who is now proceeding to
down his glass of punch. "Leo, you thirsty there?"

Leo stops just before he empties the glass. " I beg your pardon,
sir?" He has to look closely at the President to focus. Yep, that was
damn good punch. Too good…

Jed looks at Leo oddly. " What have you got there?" He look at Leo's
near empty glass.

Leo shrugs. " Punch."

Jed's eyes slowly widen. " Leo… I wouldn't… I don't know if that
stuff…"

Shrugging again, Leo turns the cup in his hands. " It's fine, sir.
Don't worry about it."

Jed is incredibly doubtful. Leo's got this look on his face like he's
just stole a cookie from the cookie jar and it scares him. "Charlie!"
He calls, knowing his aide isn't that far away. He clears his throat
and wills himself not to panic and start to sweat. Surely if there
were alcohol in that punch Leo would have noticed and immediately put
it down.

"Yes, sir?" Charlie steps up behind the President, catching him off
guard.

The President snatches the glass from Leo once he recovers from the
temporary surprise of Charlie's sudden arrival. He hands the glass to
Charlie. "Have you had anything to drink tonight, son?"

Charlie immediately shakes his head. "Of course not, sir, I'm
working."

Jed looks Leo in the eye uncomfortably, not believing that he has to
do this. " That's not what I meant, but never mind. Charlie, take a
sip of that and tell me if you can taste any alcohol."

Charlie looks uneasily from the President to Leo.

Leo is starting to panic. Perhaps he really had tasted what he
thought he had tasted. This wasn't good. What had he done? "Sir,
don't make `im. I mean, it's fine. I'm fine. Don't do this." His head
was already starting to pound.

"Charlie..." Jed turns back to Charlie in dreadful anticipation. Was
it really possible that the man who had been sober for over ten years
had just had a drink?

Charlie takes one last look from Leo to the President, then drains
the glass. When he is finished, he licks his lips.

"Well…" The President prompts.

"There's definitely something in there, sir."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
Part 2

"Leo?" Jed turns his head slowly to look at his best friend, shocked
and a little frightened.

Leo meets his eyes. "Yes?"

"Why don't you go home and lie down?" Jed shrugs, not knowing what
else to suggest, but not wanting to let on his concern. This was not
something he had anticipated happening, and he still didn't know how
Leo could simply have ignored the alcohol in his drink.

"No, no, that's not necessary. I think I'm just gonna grab something
to eat and I'll be just fine. Honestly, sir, it's not that big of a
deal." But that wasn't what was really going through Leo's mind. His
emotions were mixed somewhere between guilt and thirst for another
glass of punch. He was wondering where this was all coming from.

"Leo, this is an incredibly…"

Charlie has to cut him off. "Sir, the Prime Minister has requested to
have a few minutes with you before his departure. So, if we're done
here I'd like to take you over to him now." He hands the glass he had
drank from back to the President, still not understanding why the
President had asked him to taste the contents of it.

Jed looks at Charlie, not really giving him his full attention. "
Alright. Leo, are you sure you're going to be alright?"

Leo sighs. "Yes, Mr. President, I am. Now, you've got to go schmooze
your guests."

Still not convinced, Jed gives Leo a rueful look. "Alright, then.
Come find me once you've had something to eat. Try to see some of the
other guests you haven't talked to, as well." He walks away with
Charlie hesitantly, leaving Leo to find his way to the bar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
Feeling light-headed and happily intoxicated, Leo makes his way down
the halls to his office, wandering aimlessly. He is smiling to
himself despite the awful taste in his mouth, the nauseating
throbbing headache at his temple and slight sense of guilt. His
vision starts to blur as bile threatens to spill out of his mouth
from his throat. He covers his mouth in time and sinks to the floor,
using the wall for support. Leo's head collides with the wall and he
curses. " Used to be able to go a lot longer than this before feeling
like this." He groans, only realizing then that talking and moving
was making it worse.

Suddenly he can hear footfalls coming from somewhere down a dark
corridor. He begins to panic and that only further increases the
severity of his headache. Josh rounds the corner and stops dead.

Josh's eyes dilate at the site of Leo on the floor outside Margaret's
office. "Leo? You okay?" He takes a step closer and notices the small
things. Leo reeks of scotch and his suit is wrinkled. The bags under
his eyes are heavy and his eyes are glazed. "Oh my God!" He
practically jumps at the realization that Leo is drunk. He's
shocked , scared and disbelieving all in one.

"Calm down." Leo whispers, rubbings his eyes. " And please lower your
voice." He was starting to get off his high horse. The realization
that he had indeed drunk was beginning to settle in.

"What happened?" Josh whispers in an unnaturally high-pitched tone.
It is evident he is the very definition of freaking out.

Leo buries his head in his knees, not wanting to have to explain to
his deputy that he had gotten drunk. " There was alcohol in my
punch. And then it just reminded me of how long it's been since I've
had a drink. So I thought I'd go up to the bar and just have one tiny
little shot. Three shots later it occurred to me that I'm an
alcoholic and I never have one glass of anything. So, here we are."

Josh clasps his forehead. "Okay, okay…" He rubs his temple, trying to
formulate a plan and wrap his head around this all at the same
time. "This is no problem at all. The recovering alcoholic Chief of
Staff is drunk after over ten year of being sober and I can't think
of anything to do… Okay, okay. You know what, Leo, you're probably
not going anywhere any time soon, so why don't you just hang out here
and I'm gonna go get Toby, alright?"

Leo rolls his eyes, then regrets it. "Great, let's bring more people
into this."

Josh shoves his hands into his pockets. "Sorry to break it to ya
buddy, but Toby is the least of the people you have to worry about
finding out about this." Josh sighs again, still not believing this
could happen. People like Leo McGarrey didn't relapse. They didn't
just spontaneously decided they need a drink. Leo was determined and
strong. What had gone wrong tonight?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~

"And he just went up to the bar and ordered shots?" Toby asks Josh
calmly.

Josh nods, looking down at Leo. "Yeah, that's what he said. I mean,
this is bad. It's beyond bad. It's bad for us but it's worse for him.
So, what do we do? "

Toby rubs his temple, feeling as helpless as Josh as they stare at
their boss sitting on the floor. "I guess the first thing we gotta do
is get him out of here."

Leo groans. "Would you two stop talking like I'm dead? I can hear
every word you're saying. I haven't passed out yet." He closes his
eyes again, thinking how this situation had only gone from bad to
worse. What had processed him tonight? What had made him crave so
much?

Josh runs a hand through his curls. "Okay, I can't take him anywhere.
I'm supposed to be talking to Congressman Killbank about the new bill
and if I don't make this work then we're screwed. We need the votes."

Throwing his hands up in the air, Toby raises his voice. "Well what
do you expect me to do? I'm supposed to be walking around with the
Australian ambassador and her neurotic husband."

It seemed they were at an impasse.

Ya know, this is all Sam's fault. If he hadn't of skipped out early,
we could have gotten him to take Leo home." Josh says as if that
would have been the perfect solution.

Suddenly Toby's face lights up. He couldn't believe it had taken him
so long to come to this conclusion. " We both must be a couple of
idiots. There's no reason CJ can't take him home. She's not doing
anything important. We get a driver to take the two of them back to
his place and she watches over him for the night to make sure he
doesn't do anything stupid or get caught. Why can't that work?" He
shakes his head. It was so simple.

Josh smiles, relieved. "Perfect. Let's do it. You go talk to her and
I'll get Leo out of this very public hallway where anyone could walk
by and spot him at any moment. Tell her I'll have a couple of Secret
Service agents meet her in his office to take them to his place."
This plan was going to work. Sure CJ would be pissed beyond belief at
them, but that was besides the point, they could make it up to her.
The important thing was that Leo would get out of here, and home.

Toby sighs. "Okay, but why do I gotta be the guy that tells her?"

"Because she likes you more." Josh grins as he bends to help Leo up.
This was going to be a gruesome procedure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby spots the Press Secretary swaying effortlessly on the dance
floor with a man he didn't recognize. He takes a deep breath and
prepares himself for a lot of complaining from her. He whimpers when
he sees she is obviously having a good time with the man she is
dancing with. This was going to be harder than he imagined.

"Excuse me, may I cut in?" Toby clears his throat, lightly tapping CJ
on the shoulder as he moves out of another couple's way.

CJ turns and glares at Toby. "No."

"CJ…" Toby whispers sternly, indicating that he needed to talk to her.

CJ's partner just watches the two, his hands never leaving CJ's hips.

CJ rolls her eyes. " Toby, meet Kyle Jacobs, Computer Specialist
Extraordinaire. Kyle, meet Toby Ziegler, Communications Director and
Jackass Extraordinaire."

Toby smiles cordially.

CJ removes herself from Kyle's hold. "I'm sorry, but duty calls. I
won't be long, I'm sure. Mingle if you like." She calls the last
sentence back as Toby drags her away from the dance floor.

"Alright, what do you want?" CJ asks with little enthusiasm as she
runs a hand through her hair. "This better be important. Kyle's hot!"

"Yes, I'm sure his intellectual ability can top that of those with an
elementary school education. But, the man can dance, so who am I to
complain?" Toby says in all sarcasm.

"Did you drag me away so you can criticize my choice in dates?
Because, really Toby, I didn't hear you offer to take me to this." CJ
was getting fed up.

Toby opens the door and they head into the corridors, escaping the
heat of the ballroom. " We have a situation."

"Am I really going to give a briefing at 10.30?" CJ asks, almost
whining at the prospect. "Because I'm really not dressed for it,
either. This dress is awfully low-cut." She glances down at herself
and looks up at Toby and smiles. "I'm joking Toby, jeez." She rolls
her eyes when Toby's stone face doesn't change expression. "What's
the problem?"

They walk past Margaret's desk and it only then occurs to CJ that
they're meeting with Leo in the middle of a State Dinner on a Friday
night at 10.30. There really must be a problem.

Toby opens the door to Leo's office slowly and steps in first,
followed by CJ.

Toby moistens his lips, staring at a motionless Leo lying on his
couch. " Leo's drunk. I don't know exactly how or why it happened,
but for some reason he got himself drunk. We need you to take him
home and keep him there tonight. We'll figure the rest out in the
morning." Toby sighs. "I can't believe he relapsed."

And CJ stands , unable to move, mortified as she stares at her boss
lying on the couch. She has to bring her hand up to cover her mouth
to prevent herself from screaming or bursting out crying. What had
happened? How could this have happened? She can feel her legs begin
to give and her body tremble….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 3

"Oh my God!" CJ practically screams. "How could this happen?" She's
somewhere between pissed ,scared and sad. She falls to the floor in
front of Leo's couch.

Leo slowly opens his eyes and moans. "Oh, for Goodness' sake, would
you all quit your shouting and get the hell out of here?" It doesn't
even bother him to be bitter towards CJ. Right now he's too pissed
and guilty. Seeing the disappointment in her eyes as she scans his
features is enough to make him want to keel over and die.

Her disappointment turns to pity as she offers him a warm
smile. "Leo?" She runs a hand over his cheek. "We're gonna take you
home now, alright?" She uses a tone a mother would with a small
child. " Everything's going to be okay. Just sit still for a
second." She stands back up and faces Toby who has been watching the
exchange with an odd look on his face. " We've got to get him out of
here."

Toby nods, looking a little more enthusiastic now. " So, you'll do
it?"

CJ sighs, looking back at Leo who has closed his eyes again. "Of
course. I'm not happy about this, but we can't have him stay here."
She shakes her head. "I still can't believe this happened. Okay, get
the boys, we're ready."

"CJ?" Leo mumbles from his position, half-lying, half sitting, as he
tries to sit up.

CJ rushes over, sitting on the couch next to him and helping him
up. "Easy does it, cowboy. Nothing too sudden. Don't worry, I'm
taking you to bed."

Leo looks at CJ and smiles goofily. "Thank God. It's about time my
fantasies come true." But as soon as it's out of his mouth he wants
to take it back because he thinks there was just a tad too much
honesty in that. He clears his throat uncomfortably.

CJ smiles coyly. "Yeah, well you just be a good boy tonight and do
what I tell you to and you'll be rewarded. Or at least, I won't kill
you, let's put it that way."

An agent walks in the room, interrupting their emotion-induced
attempt at flirting. "Ms. Cregg, we're ready for him now." The agent
walks over and helps CJ lift Leo to his feet.

Leo rolls his eyes. "Would you put me down?" He half groans, half
mumbles. " I can walk."

The agent releases Leo from under the arm, as does CJ.

Leo takes a step forward, but ends up stumbling backwards into CJ.
She and the agent quickly grab him.

"I'm usually very good on my feet." Leo pouts. "Did somebody change
the flooring in here today?" He looks down at the ground
questioningly as they help him out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~

"Where are we?" Leo wonders out loud, peeling his face away from the
cool car window.

CJ lifts her head from lying back against the seat. "We're almost
there. Just a few minutes longer." She doesn't open her eyes,
feeling too exhausted already. She had no idea how she was going to
get through this night
babysitting Leo. Especially when lately there had been these small
exchanges between the two of them that were unwillingly haunting her
dreams. Just small things like a heated glance across the room, or an
accidental brushing of limbs that sent shivers down her spine. Things
she knew held no significance and that she should just ignore
considering he was her boss and she knew he had no interest in her.
But the way he could walk into a room and just…

"Why didn't I just put the damn drink down when I thought it had
alcohol in it?" Leo announces in his drunken state. "I should have
damn well put it down and forgot about it. I'm a goddamn alcoholic
and I can't drink. How could I have been such an idiot?" He starts
bashing his head against the back of the seat and his face scrunches
up in attempt to drive all his shame and frustration out.

"Leo, stop, stop!" She gently takes Leo's head in her hands,
levelling their faces. "It's going to be fine. I don't know what made
you did it, but beating yourself up over it won't help." She's so
close she can smell the stale booze on his breath. The combination of
that and his cologne is enough to intoxicate her. "Just…relax." She
whispers, practically against his lips, locking their gazes.

Leo averts his eyes. He can't look in her eyes. He knows CJ is only
trying to help, but he doesn't need that right now. He also doesn't
need her on top of him, unintentionally turning him on when he's
drunk. "I need another drink." He states out of no where.

She rolls her eyes and pushes herself back to her position on the
seat, flattening her hair as she does. "You're an ass." CJ declares.

Leo looks at the frustrated woman beside him. "And you're beautiful.
I guess we just have to tolerate these things about each other and
get along." The sincerity in his voice amazes him, but then again, he
isn't too focused right now, so anything could amaze him.

CJ watches Leo. He seemed so much like he had meant that. And
suddenly he pouts and he's the drunken idiot in the seat beside her
again, closing his eyes and probably fighting off the impending
headache. She sighs, wondering why she's doing this. She could say
it's for the good of her country, but that'd be the biggest lie she'd
ever told. She doesn't have too much time to keep the thought because
the car pulls to a stop and the agent gets out and opens the door for
her.

"We're here, Ms. Cregg. Do you need help getting Mr. McGarrey into
the house?" He asks, poking his head inside and noticing that Leo
wasn't unconscious yet.

CJ takes a look at Leo and shakes her head. "No thanks. I think he
can walk. Come on, big guy." She takes Leo's arm and pulls him out of
the car. He reluctantly follows, but after a while he complies by
throwing his arm around CJ's shoulder and allowing her to drag him
into the house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CJ walks slowly into the dark bedroom, not wanting to wake Leo if he
had already fallen asleep in the five minutes she had left him alone
to lie on his bed. But he was still awake, just lying on the bed
with his eyes open wide and glazed, the moonshine streaming through
the windowing illuminating his features and making him appear even
more washed out.

CJ crosses the room and seats herself on the edge of the bed, placing
the few random articles in her arms on the nightstand. She continues
to watch him for a minute. He appears to be oblivious to her. After a
moment she picks up the glass of water and two caplets from the
nightstand. "Leo," She whispers ever so softly, not wanting to
startle him out of his daze. "Leo, you need to sit up and take these.
They're just painkillers but they'll make you feel a whole lot
better."

And Leo is suddenly warmed by her presence. The soft sound of her
voice that was guiding him through his troubles, the tantalizing
smell of her perfume that was lingering as she bent close to him.
This was too much. She shouldn't be here, and he shouldn't be awake.
He should have passed out by now. But he couldn't stop staring at
her. He clears his throat to gain composure. "Yeah." The sound of his
voice is hoarse.

She hands him the glass and pills and he swallows them with ease and
immediately flops back down on the bed, relieved not to be so close
to CJ's body.

She sighs, knowing what's next, and dreading having to do it. She
strokes Leo's cheek because he has closed his eyes again. "Leo, you
have to get undressed..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 4

Leo doesn't want to move. All he wants to do is give into
unconsciousness, but she isn't leaving. CJ is still there, taking
care of him in that nurturing way.

CJ sighs, slightly exasperated. " Leo, come on, help me out here. I
can't undress you by myself."

A smile plays at Leo's lips, although he tries to contain it. Did she
just mention undressing me? Maybe I'm a little more awake then I
thought I was.

CJ throws her hands up in frustration. "Fine. This is inevitable."
She takes in a deep breath before bending down to remove Leo's tie.
She carefully places the bowtie on the nightstand after she`s
finished. " The things I do for my job. `I serve at the pleasure of
the President.'" She mumbles sarcastically as she moves on to undue
Leo's collar.

Leo leans back into his pillow very comfortably-too comfortably.
Maybe this wasn't going to be such a terrible night after all. And
that thing before about his fantasies of him and CJ in bed together…
His eyes spring open when CJ begins to slowly unbutton his shirt. He
watches her carefully. She moves slowly and methodically, very
determined.

After a second CJ looks at Leo's face and smiles when she sees he's
watching her. "Don't try to enjoy this or anything." She whispers
huskily as Leo's eyes follow her. Truth be told, it was her who was
starting to get a little turned on at the site of Leo bare-chested,
so really she had no right to tell him to settle down. And she
shouldn't be staring in the first place because he's her boss, for
one, and he's drunk and she's supposed to be taking care of him, not
advantage of him. But the look they share is electric, and their
gazes lock, despite.

Leo swallows hard. The heat of her body and teasing scent of her
perfume is enough to intoxicate him regardless of whether or not he
already was drunk. He wished her dress wasn't a v-neck and that she
wasn't so close to him and being so nice to him. "You don't have to
do this, ya know." He wants to give her a chance to escape. He may be
drunk, but he knows this can't be something she wants to do. He had
to get this damn fantasy out of his head, because that's all it was,
a fantasy. A fantasy of her and him being able to walk the halls of
the Whitehouse together, hand in hand and it would just be expected.
They could have the worst day at the office, or the most successful
day of their career and it wouldn't matter because at the end of the
day they'd go back to their house and make love and whisper words of
devotion and talk of their future together. No one would care that he
was an alcoholic and fourteen years older than her and didn't deserve
her because she would swear he made her happy. That's what he wanted
more than anything in the world-just to make her happy. But he had to
forget about all those things because it didn't matter that she was
the most beautiful women he knew and could outwit any of the men he
worked with, she wasn't his and never would be. She was the Press
Secretary and he was the Chief of Staff. Not to mention the little
detail that she probably couldn't stand him, especially right now.

She gently places both hands on his warm ribs and pulls him up off
the bed slightly so she can slip the dress shirt off him. Their eyes
are still locked. " I know, but it's not like I had anything better
to do tonight." CJ smiles lightly to soften the electric mood. She
tosses the shirt over the side of the bed and boldly reaches for
Leo's belt. "Just lie back and let me take care of you." She
whispers against his ear. Was there some innuendo in that?

Nothing had ever felt so right. She thought she'd be right pissed
at Leo, and she had wanted to be. What he had done was nothing short
of stupid, and surely the administration would suffer somehow because
of it. When Toby had told her Leo had fallen off the bandwagon, she
had thought of the President and the problems this could cause for
them politically, but mostly she had hurt for him. She had wanted to
reach out and take him in her arms and ask what had happened, and
make it all better for him. In some way maybe by staying with him
tonight she could reach out to him, even if she didn't get to
physically console him and hold him the way she craved to.

He was in big trouble. CJ was proceeding to remove his slacks and he
was just a little more than turned on by her right now. How could Leo
come right out and explain that when she saw him? He reaches out and
takes her hand before she's able to slip his pants off past his
hips. "Wait, stop. I, I can do it." He says, trying to formulate a
sentence. Between the alcohol, his erection and the haze he was in
thinking of her and all she was doing for him, it was becoming harder
and harder to achieve coherent thought.

CJ looks at Leo, a little confused. "Are you sure?"

Leo nods and releases the breath he had not known he was holding,
relieved. "Yes." He breathes.

Straightening up, CJ runs her hand along Leo's arm
comfortingly. "Alright. I guess you don't need me then. I'll let you
sleep it off. Good night." She whispers the last part almost
hesitantly, and she hasn't let go of Leo's arm, as if she doesn't
want to leave. It isn't that she doesn't think he can be left alone
by himself, it's just that she really doesn't want to leave. He looks
so needy.

Leo's gaze follows CJ's slightly confused-looking one. He doesn't
seem to know how to let go, either. He wants more than anything for
her to leave him and to be able to give into this misery, but by
keeping her here he can prolong the inevitable and feel better. "No,
don't, don't leave." Leo can't catch it before it comes out just as
CJ stands up.

She smiles aloofly. She sits back down on the bed beside Leo, but
decides to do the somewhat noble thing given the circumstances. "Leo,
you need to rest. I'll be here all night if you need me." She rubs
his right shoulder reassuringly. " You'll be fine." CJ offers with
conviction, doing her best to resist the urge to just bend down and
kiss that doubtful face away.

Leo licks his lips, feeling like the for the first time in a long
time he might just start to cry. How could he have let tonight
happen? Not only would this erase the eight years of sobriety he had
worked so hard at, but it would hurt all the people he was close to,
including her, the only one who really mattered. And here she was,
comforting him when she should be shouting and screaming and slapping
him around for what he did. But all he wanted was for her to make it
go away, to make him never do it again. He couldn't say anything to
her, and he had to look away from her. It hurt too much to disappoint
her.


CJ watches him turn his head, and in the moonlight she swears she can
see a tear roll down his cheek. The emotion in his eyes is enough to
scare her. "Leo? What's the matter?" She bends close to him, her
voice a little shaky. She had never seen Leo this unglued.

Leo damns his current state and inability to control this sudden
outburst of emotions and wishes she wasn't here watching him. But she
was here and there was no changing that, so he had to share. He turns
to look into her big concerned eyes and he feels his heart constrict.
Suddenly the expression "let the flood gates open" makes a whole lot
more sense to him because CJ seems so inviting with her eyes and now
her hand coming up to wipe away that cursed tear that had managed to
escape.

"I'm just scared of what happened tonight… of what I did. I don't
know what got into me and it pisses me off that I'm just so stupid.
I've let down so many people, everybody….Toby, Josh, Sam, the
President, probably Mallory when she finds out…" He looks away
abruptly. "And you. And that`s the worst of all. And I can never take
it back. Oh, God I wanna take it back." He cries, sitting up, trying
to gain some composure.

"It's okay, it's okay, Leo." CJ consoles, taking Leo's hands and
rubbing them in her own. She feels so awful. He doesn't need this
guilt complex, least of all with her. " So, you made a mistake.
People make mistakes, Leo. You're human just like everybody else. And
I think we all forget that." It was so true. She was so used to him
being invincible that it was remarkable to see him so ashamed and
upset as they sat here in the dark bedroom. "Everything's going to be
alright. You'll go back to rehab, we'll cover it up and…"

"No, not that won't work!" Leo snaps, a little too harshly at her. "
Just, just forget it. I don't wanna put you through this. Forget it.
You don't understand."

CJ watches the various fiery emotions flicker through Leo's
eyes. "Then make me understand." She whispers sharply, honestly,
begging, her eyes boring into his. "What is it you want?"

Dangerous question, he thinks as her hands travel up his arms in
attempt to steady and soothe him. He takes in a deep breath, trying
to steady his heart beat and drive the drumming out of his ears. "
I...I…I want you to make this all go away. I…I want to go back to the
State Dinner and not pick up that glass of punch in the first place.
Or, I want you to be there when I would have picked it up so you
could have stopped me from drinking it. I want you to stay here so I
don't have to give into that horrible state of unconsciousness that
eventually leads to a hangover. I need you to replace that. I...I
want you to make it all go away, and make me better. Make me forget…"

"How's this?" CJ couldn't resist responding to Leo's request. She
leans in closer and takes Leo's face gently in the palm of her hands.
When he simply stares in eager anticipation, neither encouraging nor
pushing her away, she begins to softly brush her lips against his
comfortingly. Within a second, a simple brushing of lips isn't enough
when she feels the warmth of his lips invite her into the depths of
his soul and the pace of their kiss picks up.

It's like she's waited for this forever, but he isn't quite as sure,
because he needs a little prompting and reassuring. The spicy smell
of cologne and the unique unfamiliar taste of Leo's lips is enough to
drive her mad. She's waited so long and wants so bad to comfort him
and take this all away for him, and she knows this will help. CJ can
hear her breathing increasing rapidly and she can't help but want
more of this incredible man beneath her. She uses her tongue to part
his lips and grant herself access to the warmth of a region she has
wanted to explore for so long now-a region that has been off limits
to her since she has come to work for the Bartlet Administration.

Leo's mind is buzzing to the breaking point with all these sensations
as he instinctively draws CJ deeper into him, her body nestling
perfectly into his. He isn't fully aware of what he is doing, only
that the woman he is completely infatuated with is making out with
him. He brings his hands up to cup her face as he explores her
formerly forbidden regions and her hands come down to teasingly
caress his chest. The emotions she is evoking are enough to sober him
up and intoxicate him all at once and this is driving him over the
edge as he breathes her name into her mouth. This is what he has
fantasizes about for years, but these definitely are not the
circumstances under which he experiences it. He had imagined slow and
deliberate seduction on his part, but only after a perfectly elegant
romantic dinner to which he brought her a bouquet of red roses. He
wants to stop and slow down and ask CJ why she is doing this, but
he's becoming lost in her and the newness of it all. He's dreamed of
this and wanted to touch and taste her for so long, but it's like
sensory overload. CJ's body is firm and warm on top of his and he
brings his hands down, wanting to explore the delicateness of her
tempting curves while he still had the chance. But as his hands are
rounding her hips over her silk black evening gown and hers are
skilfully tantalizing his ribcage, he comes to the realization that
he has to stop and say something.

He draws his mouth away from hers, albeit painfully, fighting off the
aching, throbbing erection that had came so fast that he had only
just realized it was there. Leo takes in a deep breath, willing
himself some control. CJ's quizzical eyes almost hurt him. It's
obvious she is wondering why he has backed away. He licks his lips,
knowing he owes an explanation. "I, I don't know what's going on
here." He admits, truthfully.

A seductive smile play at the corner of CJ's lips after Leo says
that. She settles deeper into Leo's body and begins once again to
caress him first his thighs, then working her way up. She creates
light circle patterns within his chest hair, sending hot, electric
sensations right to his groin. She aligns their mouths. " I'm making
you forget…" She breathes, drawing his mouth back into hers and
returning them back to the time and place where they weren't senior
Whitehouse employees and he wasn't the drunk alcoholic who would have
to wake up and face the consequences in the morning. For tonight they
could forget and give in because all that lie ahead for them tonight
was complete and utter bliss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 5

Leo knew if he opened his eyes the bright morning sunlight streaming
through his bedroom window would scorch his eyes, blinding and
burning him. Needless to say, that would do nothing to help the
throbbing, aching headache that was preventing him from moving from
his twisted position in bed that next morning. Every muscle ached and
every inch of Leo's face felt like it was going to explode. And the
thick, heavy taste in his mouth sent a quiver of nausea right through
him that immediately forced him to sit up.

Bad idea, he thinks as sitting up only makes him more nauseous and
his headache more prominent. He groans in defeat, thinking that he
is too old for this. God, how old was he anyway? He couldn't
remember. He couldn't even remember where he was. Well, he knew this
was his house. Where was he last night? What day was today? "Oh,
shit." Leo grumbles. It occurs to him that he doesn't have the
vaguest recollection of how he had gotten home or even how he had got
drunk. Drunk…Drunk! "Oh my… Oh, shit!" Leo practically screams, then
covers his own ears. "Okay, shouting is a bad idea Oh, God, what have
I done? How did I get this way?" He moans, flopping back into a lying
position. Another wave of nausea hits him and he closes his eyes.
This was beyond bad.

CJ had heard Leo shout, so she thought she had better check on her
patient. She opens his bedroom door slowly, knowing that any loud
noise would not be well received by him. She pokes her head in and
has to smile at the sight of Leo curled up in the fetal position, his
hand over his stomach. She had never seen him look so sick and
desperate, and for some sick reason she found that incredibly sexy
and appealing. Maybe she just liked to be needed-to take care of
others, especially him.

Making her way over to the bed, CJ arranges the various things in her
arms: Tylenol, Alka Seltzer and water, a cold damp cloth and a small
bucket. She was fully prepared to give him everything he needed to
feel better.

Leo opens his eyes as he feels the bed sink beside him. He has no
idea who could be in his house, especially now. He's a little afraid
to open his eyes and find out. What had he done last night? He has to
blink twice because he's completely shocked to see CJ smiling down at
him, looking very comfortable in his boxer shorts and button-down
short-sleeve shirt. Leo's eyes widen and his jaw drops and he wants
to scream. Oh, God, what had he done to CJ?

CJ gives Leo yet another smile, this one a little lopsided because he
looks a little frightened when he looks at her. "Hey, kiddo. How you
feelin'?"

Leo simply stares, racking his brain, forcing it to remember.
Nothing. "Nauseated." It's all he can manage. He's mortified at the
thought that he could have potentially hurt her last night because he
has no idea what he hell he had done. And she would have seen him at
his worst. Had he really slept with her? Oh, he was such an ass.

CJ places all the articles except the water and Alka Seltzer on the
nightstand and hands them to Leo. "Well, here. Drink all this and
you'll feel much better." When Leo takes it, she smiles warmly and
reassuringly, rubbing her hands along his arm.

This was too awkward. Leo can't stop staring as he attempts to
swallow the disgusting liquid. Something had happened between them,
and he was so mad that he couldn't even remember. She seemed so happy
and peaceful, even willing to take care of his hangover. "Thanks." He
whispers as he hands the glass back to her and lies back down. This
has to be straightened out, he decides.

Placing the cloth along Leo's forehead, CJ watches him carefully. He
looks worn and confused. It was obvious he didn't remember a thing.
Oh well, it wasn't like it meant anything to her anyway. He had been
drunk, she shouldn't have blatantly seduced him. "This'll cool you
off a little. How's your head?"

"Three times too big." Leo replies bitterly, wishing he could
remember a night that must have been amazing. He no longer cares
about the fact that he had obviously gotten drunk, but that he had
done something with CJ Cregg and now he can't even justify it. How
can she even look at him after this? "CJ…?" His eyes are searching
hers, begging for answers to his unasked questions.

She knows. CJ can see it in his eyes that he is remembering, or at
least assuming. She smiles and feels the resemblance of a blush creep
up her cheeks. She sighs before responding. " I'm here because I was
told to take care of you all night so you wouldn't go and do anything
stupid, and so that no reporters or anyone would find out about you
drinking." Okay, so it was avoiding his direct question, but he was
avoiding asking it.

This relieves Leo slightly. "So, you're here to take care of me?"
He's still a little confused. Obviously no one trusted him, but that
was something he'd think about later. They had more important things
to worry about now.

CJ nods. " That's all. You were at the State Dinner last night and
for some reason…"

Leo nods, cutting her off. "Yeah, yeah." He closes his eyes, not
wanting to remember now that it was starting to slowly come back to
him. But another thing was coming back to him. Images. He can see her
above him, kissing him, running her hands up and down his body. He's
gripping her hips and kissing her all up and down her throat and
neck. He groans. It was real, he can see it and taste it-taste her.
He remembers so vividly that he's afraid she'll see how vividly he
remembers right through his silk boxers which he hadn't bothered to
cover since she had came into the room. "CJ, I'm sorry." He says
softly.

This catches CJ off guard. "Why? What for? " She adjusts his cloth.

Leo pauses, wishing this could all be easier. Wishing this had never
happened and he could have just asked her out like a normal person
instead of sleeping with her when he was drunk. "For, for taking
advantage of you." He sighs, no longer able to meet her eyes, wishing
he could pull that cloth down further over his eyes.

CJ is absolutely floored. Her jaw drops and she has to laugh slightly
because he looks so guilty. "You took advantage of me? Oh, oh no!"

Leo sighs, getting a little frustrated. Why was she letting him off
the hook? " I'm sorry, CJ, but my memory's a little hazy. Any help
you can extend me would be greatly appreciated. If I didn't take
advantage of you, what happened last night, because I know something
did?… I can remember that much."

CJ shakes her head affectionately and takes Leo's hand in
hers. "Nothing. You passed out cold."

He thinks his heart may have stopped beating there. "What? When?"

"Right when we were in the middle of… Well, we weren't in the
middle… `Cause that would be…"

Leo looks mortified and bright red in the morning sunlight. "Oh, my
God. CJ, I am so… I passed out in the middle of…?"

CJ shakes her head firmly. "No, no. We weren't… We were just kissing,
Leo. That's all we did." She reassures him by laughing heartily. He
really was too cute.

Now this time he really was relieved. Sure he had made out with CJ
in his drunken state, and who knows what they would have done had he
not passed out, but at least it hadn't went any further than that or
he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to forgive himself. "Well, that's
good. But, I'm still sorry. For, for everything I said and did last
night. You have to remember that I wasn't exactly myself last night. "

She knew he hadn't meant that to hurt her, but his words stung. Had
his actions last night not reflected any feelings he had toward her?
Had he simply just been drunk and horny and in need comfort? She can
feel her throat tighten up and she has to fight back tears. It had
felt so good to be with him last night, even if she had known it was
only going to be for the one time. She had thought it had meant
something to him. " Yeah, don't apologize. It's fine."

Leo relaxes a little, even offers her a smile. "You're wearing my
pajamas." He thinks it's cute. Seeing her in his boxers and taking
care of him made things seem easier, more comfortable between them,
like that was just the way they should be. Maybe things weren't so
bad now. Sure they had made out and that would complicate things, but
maybe she wouldn't hold him to it and they could start fresh. He
really did want to express his feelings like a normal person, if that
was even possible given who they were.

CJ smiles, but only slightly, still wondering how someone could touch
you with such passion and tender at the same time and have it mean
nothing. "Yeah, sorry. I didn't exactly want to sleep in my Donna
Karen."

"How was the guest room? Which one did you use?" Leo asks, for lack
of anything better to say. The morning relief aid was starting to
kick in because he was noticing the headache was lessening and he was
beginning to be able to think clearly again.

CJ stands up, feeling like she needed to put some distance between.
She knew it wasn't his fault that she had come on to him only to have
him pass out cold just as the clothes were coming off and things were
starting to get nice and comfortable between them. She realized they
could have quite the bedroom banter. CJ sighs, moving toward the
door. "I slept in the arm chair in here so I could watch you and get
you something if you needed it. But, of course, you never woke up."
It had been so important to her last night to be with him all night,
but now it seemed trivial.

Leo smiles and watches her, amazed that she would do that for him. "
You mean you sat in my chair all night? CJ, you really should have
used either of the two guest rooms. You must not have slept all
night." He felt even more guilty knowing that she had given up a
night's comfort for him.

CJ shrugs. "It was no big deal. I was just grateful that you didn't
snore." She was not going to mention that at one point during the
night when she simply couldn't get comfortable wrapped in the quilt
from Leo's living room couch she had snuck into his bed beside him
and laid her head against his chest for a while. Just hearing his
steady heart beat and breathing in the newly familiar scent of his
skin gave her comfort and told her that they would work everything
out somehow. But that was all gone now. No more friendly lover banter
for them. It had all been a mistake as far as she was concerned. She
pushes the door open wider for herself. "Let me know if you need
anything." She orders almost bitterly before shutting the door behind
herself.

She walks the few feet from the hall to the living room and collapses
on the couch, racking sobs hindering her of movement. She cries
silently but violently, banging her head against the back of the
couch. How I could have been so stupid, CJ wonders to herself. I knew
something like this was going to happen, I knew. I should never have…
And the stinging tears rush down her cheeks and she curses ever
letting herself get close to Leo McGarrey. She had no idea what she
was going to do next but she doesn't have long to think about it
because the phone rings.

Reluctantly, CJ reaches over to the coffee table and picks up the
abandoned phone. "Hello?" She sniffs, trying to compose herself so
the caller doesn't realize she is crying.

A calm and steady voice answers, "Are you alright, CJ?"

CJ physically relaxes into the couch, letting down all her
defences. "Oh, thank God. No, Mrs. Bartlet, I'm not." She doesn't
know why, but there was just something about hearing Abbey's voice
right now that made CJ so happy all of a sudden.

"Alright, honey, I'm on my way over, okay?" Abbey's voice responds.

CJ nods without answering, not really knowing what she is doing. She
lets her head fall against the back of the couch and closes her eyes,
giving into the confusion and exhaustion, wishing it would all go
away.
Part 6

CJ is awoken by a repetitive knocking at the front door. She forces
herself out of the emotion and exhaustion induced sleep she had fell
into. She pushes herself off the couch and rubs her eyes as she makes
her way across the dark hard wood floor to the foyer to answer the
door. It only occurs to her then how little sleep she got last night
watching Leo sleep when she starts to involuntarily sway as she
walks.

She peeks through the window and sees the First Lady on the expansive
porch. CJ sighs, relieved it wasn't someone from the media wanting a
story, or worse, someone from the office wanting to see how Leo was.
She opens the door and ushers Abbey inside. "Good morning, Mrs.
Bartlet."

One look at her husband's Press Secretary and Abbey knows there's
something wrong, and there's a little more to it than Leo drinking
last night. The first thing she notices about the woman she has come
to regard as family is that she is wearing Leo's clothes and looks
overtly exhausted. "CJ, you look awful." She offers a sheepish smile.

CJ runs a hand through her hair. "Thank you, ma'am." She mutters,
trying to cut down the sarcasm in that remark.

This time Abbey laughs. "Oh, honey, that's not what I meant." They
begin to make their way into the living room. " I just meant that you
look tired… and upset. Is everything alright? You sounded awfully
upset on the phone."

Slumping into the couch, CJ sighs. "No, ma'am, I'm fine. I was just…I
was overreacting. I was just really tired. But I've slept a bit since
then."

Abbey joins her on the couch. " How's Leo?" She runs a hand along
CJ's arm as a gesture of comfort.

CJ nods her head. "He's… he's well given what he's been through. I
gave him some Alka Seltzer earlier and I think he's feeling better
now." Truth be told , she hadn't checked on Leo since she had hastily
slammed the door on him. In fact, she had been a sleep for a good
half-hour, he could be needing her. Or even worse, maybe he took off
somewhere. Suddenly, despite the bitterness she felt toward his lack
of sensitivity, she wanted to rush into his room and hold him again,
making sure he was alright.

Abbey nods. "Good, I'm glad. We're all so worried. I don' t think Jed
slept a wink last night. He couldn't forgive himself for letting that
happen to Leo. He kept mumbling something about someone spiking the
punch and Leo drinking it right in front of him and him not doing
anything about it. And Josh and Toby have wanted to call here all
morning but Jed wouldn't let them because he has full confidence in
your ability to make sure our Leo is well taken care of."

CJ smiles at Abbey's warm comment and the President's faith in her.
She knew everyone would be concerned about Leo and how it would
affect the Administration. Pretty soon she'd have to step back into
Press Secretary mode and think of a way to spin this. "Thank you ,
ma'am."

Abbey watches the various emotions flicker through CJ's eyes. She can
tell CJ has taken this particular assignment personally and that
something happened here last night that has profoundly affected
her. "So, I hope Leo behaved himself last night." She smiles, but her
questioning statement is so honest.

A blush creeps up CJ's cheeks and she damns her alabaster skin. She
can't help but picture his warm, inviting body beneath her, urging
her to take him to a better time and place- a place where they could
be together, be one, and not have to deal with any consequences.

Abbey is still watching CJ with an inquisitive, searching and
embracing eye only someone who is a doctor, woman and mother all in
one can have. "CJ, what happened last night?" She asks calmly, taking
one of CJ's hands in hers.

She wants to hold onto that one speck of defence that is preventing
her from breaking down and crying out of sheer self-pity for her own
stupidity, but CJ can't contain herself any longer. She has to tell
someone about what happened last night after she left the Whitehouse
and they arrived at Leo's house. If she could talk to anyone, if
anyone would listen and not judge her, not reprimand her and force
her to think of the consequences this could cause for their side, it
would Abigail Bartlet. CJ licks her lips, not knowing how to word
this right. How could she tell the First Lady that she is falling for
the Chief of Staff and that the only remotely romantic attention he
has ever paid her was when he drunk and just about to pass out
cold? " I… I don't really know what you mean, ma'am."

She smiles, knowing the game CJ is playing. But Abbey can see it in
her dear friend's eyes. " Honey, you can come out and say it, I'm not
going to tell anyone. What happened between you and Leo last night?"

And CJ's lips start to quiver when she discovers that Abbey can see
right through her just like a mother would. Those damn tears are back
and she can't stop them from rolling down her cheeks this time and
she collapses into Abbey's embrace, knowing that it's time to
surrender, that she can't hold back. "Oh, Mrs. Bartlet, it's
horrible. I did something awful and everyone would hate me if they
found out."

Abbey takes in a deep breath, rocking CJ gently in her arms. She
smoothes CJ's hair back away from her face and glides a couple of
fingers down her cheek to dry the tears. " It's okay, sweetheart, I'm
sure it's not that bad. And for goodness' sake call me Abbey, I've
told you enough."

"Yes, Abbey." She sighs, breathing in a warm, nurturing smell off
Abbey's neck. It's not the usual brand of expensive designer perfume,
but something more soft and natural, more motherly. CJ closes her
eyes and just absorbs. She figures she could just stay here all day,
collapsing and giving in. It's been a hell of a long time since she's
let herself cry like this, probably years. But, she still needs to
explain. She pushes herself back to look at Abbey, missing the
comforting contact. She clears her throat. "Last night…I uh, well,
Leo and I…We sorta started to…" CJ shakes her head and drops her
head. This was futile. " I came on to him, alright? I… I seduced him.
I went and seduced Leo McGarrey when he was relapsing. He had no
control and happily went along with it, because really, what other
choice did he have?" CJ is growing hysterical and her voice is
reaching new heights. " That's right, I, Press Secretary CJ Cregg
have these unrequited sexual…feelings for the Chief of Staff. And
last night apparently I was idiotic enough to act on them simply
because I knew he was too weak to justify why we couldn't. What do
you have to say to that?" CJ stops, catching her ragged breath. She's
breathing heavily and energized.

A huge grins escapes from Abbey's lips. "Well, it's about time." She
shrugs, trying to be nonchalant.

Trying to steady her fast pumping heart, CJ sighs. "WHAT?"

Abbey smiles again. "You and Leo… it's about time one of you made a
move. You're so damn liberated we should have known it'd be you to
make him see the light."

CJ is just so confused and on such a high that she's just
lost. "What? I don't get it."

Abbey shakes her head affectionately, taking both of CJ's hands in
hers and willing her to get off that emotional roller coaster. "No
one, especially Jed and I, would ever hate you for acting upon the
feelings you have for Leo. Nobody thinks your just doing it for
kicks, or because you're sleeping your way to the top. I mean, come
on, honey, where else can you go from here?" She offers a worn-
looking CJ a warm smile. " We know the feelings you have are real and
pure, and I know for a fact that they are not unrequited. I think if
you took a few minutes and sat down and talked with Leo you'd
discover his feelings are equally matched, if not surpassed by your
own."

CJ hangs her head in defeat and sighs. "Mrs. Bartlet…"

"Abbey…"

"Abbey…" CJ repeats. " I just don't know how I'm going to explain
myself to him-why I did it. I mean, last night was so amazing, but he
can't remember a thing. What am I going to say to him?"

Abbey guides CJ's head to her shoulder, resting it there. "You tell
him the truth, and exactly how you feel. That's the only way, Claudia
Jean. You must be honest. And really, it'll make you so much happier
in the long run."

CJ seriously doubts that. "I can't blatantly confess my feelings.
What…what would happen if he didn't feel the same way back and things
were never the same between us. It'd make working together extremely
difficult. And, I…I just don't know if I could set myself up for that
only to be knocked down. I'm not the kind of person who wears her
heart on her sleeve, ya know?"

"You're just afraid of taking a risk. And I think you know you're
afraid of commitment. But it's okay if you're not ready for that yet,
nobody's pushing you down the aisle…yet. Just don't be afraid to tell
him how you feel, how you felt last night. Don't be scared to go
after what you really want in life. I know you tend to hide yourself
in the physical components of a relationship because that's where you
feel comfortable. Giving and giving and never really absorbing or
taking anything in because you're afraid it'll feel good and you'll
get used to that. And that would be the worst thing of all; To get
used to it and have that person who made you feel good leave you and
then you'd crave and feel lonely." CJ's deep eyes stare back at her,
stunned and a little scared.

She couldn't believe what Abbey was saying about her, but she
couldn't really deny it either. Wasn't that the exact reason why it
was so much easier to jump into a hot, physical one-night stand with
someone than have to worry about building a loving, committed
relationship? She had always lived that way, but she knew it was
about time she started acting her age and going after what she really
wanted-who she really needed-Leo. CJ nods at Abbey, but avoids her
gaze.

Abbey begins to stand up, taking CJ with her." But, I think this is
enough heavy relationship therapy for one Saturday morning, so why
don't we check on our patient, huh?"

CJ agrees with another nod, not knowing what else to do. She's one
part mad at Abbey for accusing her of using sex as a defence shield,
and one part grateful to have such a good friend who could see right
through her and force her to come face-to-face with reality. It was
times like this where she really missed having a mother around.

Noticing the deep sorrow and obvious regret on CJ's face, Abbey
moves forward and wraps her arms around CJ's thin frame, drawing her
close. CJ's head instinctively drops down to her shoulder and she
proceeds to run her hands through CJ's hair. "It's okay, baby.
Things'll be much different this time, you'll see. Just be yourself
because that's who we all love." She pulls away, slightly. "Now,
should I go in first and examine him and then let you have some time
with him?"

She has no idea how things have become so complicated so quickly, but
she has this deep understanding that she must work to make thing
right between her and Leo, even if it means risking everything that
is important to her and climbing out of that comfort circle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 6

CJ is awoken by a repetitive knocking at the front door. She forces
herself out of the emotion and exhaustion induced sleep she had fell
into. She pushes herself off the couch and rubs her eyes as she makes
her way across the dark hard wood floor to the foyer to answer the
door. It only occurs to her then how little sleep she got last night
watching Leo sleep when she starts to involuntarily sway as she
walks.

She peeks through the window and sees the First Lady on the expansive
porch. CJ sighs, relieved it wasn't someone from the media wanting a
story, or worse, someone from the office wanting to see how Leo was.
She opens the door and ushers Abbey inside. "Good morning, Mrs.
Bartlet."

One look at her husband's Press Secretary and Abbey knows there's
something wrong, and there's a little more to it than Leo drinking
last night. The first thing she notices about the woman she has come
to regard as family is that she is wearing Leo's clothes and looks
overtly exhausted. "CJ, you look awful." She offers a sheepish smile.

CJ runs a hand through her hair. "Thank you, ma'am." She mutters,
trying to cut down the sarcasm in that remark.

This time Abbey laughs. "Oh, honey, that's not what I meant." They
begin to make their way into the living room. " I just meant that you
look tired… and upset. Is everything alright? You sounded awfully
upset on the phone."

Slumping into the couch, CJ sighs. "No, ma'am, I'm fine. I was just…I
was overreacting. I was just really tired. But I've slept a bit since
then."

Abbey joins her on the couch. " How's Leo?" She runs a hand along
CJ's arm as a gesture of comfort.

CJ nods her head. "He's… he's well given what he's been through. I
gave him some Alka Seltzer earlier and I think he's feeling better
now." Truth be told , she hadn't checked on Leo since she had hastily
slammed the door on him. In fact, she had been a sleep for a good
half-hour, he could be needing her. Or even worse, maybe he took off
somewhere. Suddenly, despite the bitterness she felt toward his lack
of sensitivity, she wanted to rush into his room and hold him again,
making sure he was alright.

Abbey nods. "Good, I'm glad. We're all so worried. I don' t think Jed
slept a wink last night. He couldn't forgive himself for letting that
happen to Leo. He kept mumbling something about someone spiking the
punch and Leo drinking it right in front of him and him not doing
anything about it. And Josh and Toby have wanted to call here all
morning but Jed wouldn't let them because he has full confidence in
your ability to make sure our Leo is well taken care of."

CJ smiles at Abbey's warm comment and the President's faith in her.
She knew everyone would be concerned about Leo and how it would
affect the Administration. Pretty soon she'd have to step back into
Press Secretary mode and think of a way to spin this. "Thank you ,
ma'am."

Abbey watches the various emotions flicker through CJ's eyes. She can
tell CJ has taken this particular assignment personally and that
something happened here last night that has profoundly affected
her. "So, I hope Leo behaved himself last night." She smiles, but her
questioning statement is so honest.

A blush creeps up CJ's cheeks and she damns her alabaster skin. She
can't help but picture his warm, inviting body beneath her, urging
her to take him to a better time and place- a place where they could
be together, be one, and not have to deal with any consequences.

Abbey is still watching CJ with an inquisitive, searching and
embracing eye only someone who is a doctor, woman and mother all in
one can have. "CJ, what happened last night?" She asks calmly, taking
one of CJ's hands in hers.

She wants to hold onto that one speck of defence that is preventing
her from breaking down and crying out of sheer self-pity for her own
stupidity, but CJ can't contain herself any longer. She has to tell
someone about what happened last night after she left the Whitehouse
and they arrived at Leo's house. If she could talk to anyone, if
anyone would listen and not judge her, not reprimand her and force
her to think of the consequences this could cause for their side, it
would Abigail Bartlet. CJ licks her lips, not knowing how to word
this right. How could she tell the First Lady that she is falling for
the Chief of Staff and that the only remotely romantic attention he
has ever paid her was when he drunk and just about to pass out
cold? " I… I don't really know what you mean, ma'am."

She smiles, knowing the game CJ is playing. But Abbey can see it in
her dear friend's eyes. " Honey, you can come out and say it, I'm not
going to tell anyone. What happened between you and Leo last night?"

And CJ's lips start to quiver when she discovers that Abbey can see
right through her just like a mother would. Those damn tears are back
and she can't stop them from rolling down her cheeks this time and
she collapses into Abbey's embrace, knowing that it's time to
surrender, that she can't hold back. "Oh, Mrs. Bartlet, it's
horrible. I did something awful and everyone would hate me if they
found out."

Abbey takes in a deep breath, rocking CJ gently in her arms. She
smoothes CJ's hair back away from her face and glides a couple of
fingers down her cheek to dry the tears. " It's okay, sweetheart, I'm
sure it's not that bad. And for goodness' sake call me Abbey, I've
told you enough."

"Yes, Abbey." She sighs, breathing in a warm, nurturing smell off
Abbey's neck. It's not the usual brand of expensive designer perfume,
but something more soft and natural, more motherly. CJ closes her
eyes and just absorbs. She figures she could just stay here all day,
collapsing and giving in. It's been a hell of a long time since she's
let herself cry like this, probably years. But, she still needs to
explain. She pushes herself back to look at Abbey, missing the
comforting contact. She clears her throat. "Last night…I uh, well,
Leo and I…We sorta started to…" CJ shakes her head and drops her
head. This was futile. " I came on to him, alright? I… I seduced him.
I went and seduced Leo McGarrey when he was relapsing. He had no
control and happily went along with it, because really, what other
choice did he have?" CJ is growing hysterical and her voice is
reaching new heights. " That's right, I, Press Secretary CJ Cregg
have these unrequited sexual…feelings for the Chief of Staff. And
last night apparently I was idiotic enough to act on them simply
because I knew he was too weak to justify why we couldn't. What do
you have to say to that?" CJ stops, catching her ragged breath. She's
breathing heavily and energized.

A huge grins escapes from Abbey's lips. "Well, it's about time." She
shrugs, trying to be nonchalant.

Trying to steady her fast pumping heart, CJ sighs. "WHAT?"

Abbey smiles again. "You and Leo… it's about time one of you made a
move. You're so damn liberated we should have known it'd be you to
make him see the light."

CJ is just so confused and on such a high that she's just
lost. "What? I don't get it."

Abbey shakes her head affectionately, taking both of CJ's hands in
hers and willing her to get off that emotional roller coaster. "No
one, especially Jed and I, would ever hate you for acting upon the
feelings you have for Leo. Nobody thinks your just doing it for
kicks, or because you're sleeping your way to the top. I mean, come
on, honey, where else can you go from here?" She offers a worn-
looking CJ a warm smile. " We know the feelings you have are real and
pure, and I know for a fact that they are not unrequited. I think if
you took a few minutes and sat down and talked with Leo you'd
discover his feelings are equally matched, if not surpassed by your
own."

CJ hangs her head in defeat and sighs. "Mrs. Bartlet…"

"Abbey…"

"Abbey…" CJ repeats. " I just don't know how I'm going to explain
myself to him-why I did it. I mean, last night was so amazing, but he
can't remember a thing. What am I going to say to him?"

Abbey guides CJ's head to her shoulder, resting it there. "You tell
him the truth, and exactly how you feel. That's the only way, Claudia
Jean. You must be honest. And really, it'll make you so much happier
in the long run."

CJ seriously doubts that. "I can't blatantly confess my feelings.
What…what would happen if he didn't feel the same way back and things
were never the same between us. It'd make working together extremely
difficult. And, I…I just don't know if I could set myself up for that
only to be knocked down. I'm not the kind of person who wears her
heart on her sleeve, ya know?"

"You're just afraid of taking a risk. And I think you know you're
afraid of commitment. But it's okay if you're not ready for that yet,
nobody's pushing you down the aisle…yet. Just don't be afraid to tell
him how you feel, how you felt last night. Don't be scared to go
after what you really want in life. I know you tend to hide yourself
in the physical components of a relationship because that's where you
feel comfortable. Giving and giving and never really absorbing or
taking anything in because you're afraid it'll feel good and you'll
get used to that. And that would be the worst thing of all; To get
used to it and have that person who made you feel good leave you and
then you'd crave and feel lonely." CJ's deep eyes stare back at her,
stunned and a little scared.

She couldn't believe what Abbey was saying about her, but she
couldn't really deny it either. Wasn't that the exact reason why it
was so much easier to jump into a hot, physical one-night stand with
someone than have to worry about building a loving, committed
relationship? She had always lived that way, but she knew it was
about time she started acting her age and going after what she really
wanted-who she really needed-Leo. CJ nods at Abbey, but avoids her
gaze.

Abbey begins to stand up, taking CJ with her." But, I think this is
enough heavy relationship therapy for one Saturday morning, so why
don't we check on our patient, huh?"

CJ agrees with another nod, not knowing what else to do. She's one
part mad at Abbey for accusing her of using sex as a defence shield,
and one part grateful to have such a good friend who could see right
through her and force her to come face-to-face with reality. It was
times like this where she really missed having a mother around.

Noticing the deep sorrow and obvious regret on CJ's face, Abbey
moves forward and wraps her arms around CJ's thin frame, drawing her
close. CJ's head instinctively drops down to her shoulder and she
proceeds to run her hands through CJ's hair. "It's okay, baby.
Things'll be much different this time, you'll see. Just be yourself
because that's who we all love." She pulls away, slightly. "Now,
should I go in first and examine him and then let you have some time
with him?"

She has no idea how things have become so complicated so quickly, but
she has this deep understanding that she must work to make thing
right between her and Leo, even if it means risking everything that
is important to her and climbing out of that comfort circle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 8

CJ is completely caught off guard by Leo's sudden fervent kiss, but
it doesn't take long for her to sink into the comfortable ease that
is their passion that she had discovered last night. She tilts back,
allowing him total access to her mouth. This was nothing like how he
had kissed her last night. Last night had been her taking control of
everything. Every time he had tried to take over it had been almost
clumsy and awkward in his drunk state, but certainly not this
morning. Leo was fully awake and completely in tuned as he his tongue
explored her mouth. CJ whimpers, feeling like she's waited too long
for this, and that she could get used to it.

Leaving one hand behind her head to ensure that their mouths never
parted or lost contact, Leo snakes his other hand behind her back and
down her rib cage, wanting to explore all the regions he's afraid
he's forgotten since last night. He just can't seem to get enough
now, even though he knows he'll need to stop and explain. He caresses
the curve of one of CJ's hips before allowing himself to travel a
little higher, pushing up the fabric of her pajama top. As soon as
his fingertips meet the scorching heat of her bare skin, he can't
help but proceed to suck harder on her bottom lip.

CJ groans and begins to pull herself away, catching her ragged breath.

Alarm triggers through Leo. He knows he's blown it. He went too
far. "Uh, oh. I'm sorry." He quickly apologizes, but wants to
explain. The good thing is that CJ isn't moving out of his embrace.

CJ smiles warmly and dizzily. "It's okay…I just wanna know what this
is all about. I mean, besides the fact that you obviously wanted to
reiterate to me what an incredible kisser you are." She lets herself
melt more deeply into Leo's open arms. Her hands travel down the
expanse of his warm, bare chest.

Leo caresses her back and shoulder blades. "I…I just had to do that.
And I have to tell you that I'm sorry. But it's not for what you
think. I'm sorry for making excuses about last night. I don't regret
what happened between us. The only thing I regret was being too drunk
to remember how amazing I know I felt being with you."

"Leo…" CJ shakes her head affectionately, breathing in his unique
male scent and running her cheek along the abrasiveness of his cheek,
which was in need of a good shave. It sent shivers down her spine.
She wanted that roughness all over her body. She wanted to move this
into the bedroom and have him explain everything else another time.

Leo brings a finger up to rest on CJ's lips, preventing her from
speaking anymore. " I mean it. I regret it because it may have made
you doubt my feelings for you, and I don't want you to ever doubt
that. This is not the way I'd ever have imagined telling you how much
I care about you, or how we end up together, but at this point I
don't care anymore. Things'll be complicated, and people'll talk, but
I'm ready if you are. As long as I've got you I can get through
anything. And I realized that last night and this morning when you
walked into my room with a bucket and pills, and Alka Seltzer and a
cold cloth for my head." He pauses when he sees the tears starting to
form in CJ's eyes. He thinks they're the same tears just mirroring
his own that are threatening to spill. "And then you told me you
stayed up all night sitting in a chair so you could watch me sleep.
God, CJ, I don't know how I'm ever gonna pay you back… for this, for
everything, but hopefully just promising to always be there is a good
start. I thought I hurt you last night by making out with you. I
thought you'd think I was a dirty old man who had no moral values. It
was one of the hardest nights of my life, and I know I disappointed
you, and it kills me. But then I look at you now and hope that one
day if I work hard enough and prove to you that I really do care
about you and promise never, ever to pick up another drink again,
maybe you can forgive me."

CJ pulls away slightly, looking Leo in the eyes now more than
ever. "Leo, I can't forgive you. I was never mad or disappointed with
you." She laughs softly at Leo's confused expression. "Leo, stop
beating yourself up. Face the fact that we both wanted last night to
happen, and that I am not mad at you for drinking or for…for paying
me some interest. If, if anything it was my fault. I was the one who
came onto you, and although I don't regret it because it felt so good
and it brought us where we are now, I wish it had of been under
different circumstances, too. I was an idiot last night. I let things
get out of control because I let myself fall so hard for you simply
because I knew you couldn't push me away last night, and I'm sorry
for that. But I just…I just had to let out all the pent up feelings I
have for you. I know, I should have told you how I felt sooner. But,
it's too late to go back and change everything, so let's just
concentrate on here and now and doing things right. And that means
you can't blame yourself or feel guilty, okay ,Leo?" She searches his
eyes, hoping he'll accept her apology and agree to her terms.


Leo nods, but it's only because he's hypnotized by CJ's eyes. "But it
isn't your fault, either. It wasn't exactly like I was beating you
off with a stick or anything. And, you're right, I think we both
wanted it, and I think we should leave it at that." He grins
wildly. " I'm glad you let out those kept feelings out last night. I
only hope there's more to go around in the future."

She smiles back, seductively, moving her hands behind his neck and
linking them, drawing him in closer. " Honey, between the two of us I
think we've got enough feeling to last a lifetime." CJ brushes her
lips against Leo's and begins what could be the sweetest, most tender
kiss she has ever experienced. This kiss is nothing like the one
before. They slow down and take the time to explore and feel and make
one another whimper. Both of them know this will certainly not be
the last opportunity they have to do this, so they don't feel the
need to hurry anything up or stop and exchange anymore words or
promises. There would be time for them to whisper devoting words of
love and friendship later, for today enough has been said and right
now they just need to touch and hold each other and know that they
will always have each other.

"Look at you two. Two grown adults, clad in boxer shorts ,making out
in the middle of the living room." Abbey leans against the hallway
door frame with an all-too- knowing grin on her face.

Leo removes his hand from cupping CJ's cheek and slides it down to
rest on her hip. Their lips part as they turn to acknowledge their
audience member and Leo doesn't bother to remove his other hand from
CJ's. He likes the closeness and doesn't care if the First Lady sees
them this way or not.

"Can we help you, ma'am?" CJ can't help but smile because Leo's cheek
is pressed against hers and he is caressing her hip with the hand
that isn't entwined in hers. He isn't even embarrassed that Abbey is
staring at them. Maybe she shouldn't be, either.

Abbey laughs softly and walks into the living room, sitting on the
love seat across from the couch. "Oh no, Claudia Jean, I wouldn't
want to interrupt. Go back to kissing and being all comfortable." She
waves them off.

"What were you doing in there the whole time?" Leo asks, indicating
the bedroom. CJ guides Leo and they sit on the couch.

Shrugging, Abbey leans back into the couch. " Just listening. I
figured you were gonna go yell and scream, and if you did I would
have went and interfered. But, I didn't hear anything so I thought I
should come and investigate. I'm glad you two are working things out.
I should be going, I'll leave you to your passionate pursuit of each
other." She stands up, smiling widely.

CJ is kind of surprised. After all that advice Abbey was just going
to get up and leave because she saw her and Leo kissing? Oh well, she
shouldn't complain, more time for them to go back to where they left
off.

"… Oh, just keep in mind that Jed'll probably like to hear from you
at some point during the day. And I know he'd like to hear about the
two of you…" She winks, making her way over to the foyer.

CJ and Leo get up and follow her.

Leo shakes his head, still trying to wrap his head around the fact
that he really was with CJ now. "Well, can you refrain from saying
anything for now? I think we need a little time before we're ready to
say anything."

Agreeing with a nod, CJ steps forward to embrace Abbey with a hug. "
If we're going to say something, please let it be us doing the
confessing, alright? And thank you so much for all your…help,
earlier. I'll come by the office later."

"As will I." Leo pipes, and the women stare at him. "What, do you not
think I'll be able to hold myself or something? I'm not hung over
anymore, and I'm sure there are pending activities I must attend to.
CJ and I'll go in later. I can't hide from this."

Both CJ and Abbey knew what he meant. No use in hiding out here. So,
it was settled. They'd go in and deal with the problem and CJ would
do her spinning and hope for the best for her new lover.

Abbey nods. "Alright, I'll let Jed know you guys will check in later.
And your secret's safe with me." She picks up her purse off the floor
where she had dropped it when she had came in. " Just keep in mind
that when you are ready to go public with your relationship, Jed will
wholeheartedly embrace it because there's nothing he would like more
than to see two people he cares so much about in love. You're both so
important to the both of us, and I don't mean because of your jobs.
And we won't be the only two who'll be happy for you, you'll see."

CJ is slightly doubtful. She knows that if she and Leo were to ever
go public than there would be tons of people who'd say they shouldn't
be together. They had a long battle ahead, but hopefully with the
support of their friends and their faith in one another, they could
make it through. "Thank you, ma'am. We appreciate that."

Leo simply nods his agreement. " Yep, and thanks for dropping by."

They exchange goodbyes and Abbey leaves, hugging her friends before
she does.

Both Leo and CJ physically relax when the door closes. It isn't that
they didn't want Abbey around, just that is was such a crazy morning
and they would both appreciate some alone time right now.

He reaches out and starts rubbing CJ's arms in his hands,
smiling. "Well, one person down, all of America to go."

Rolling her eyes, CJ allows herself to be drawn in closer to
him. "Yeah, I don't know how we're gonna do it. But, if you say you
want to…"

"There's no question in my mind or heart that I want this to work
between us, CJ. You're everything to me, and I've felt this way for
as long as I can remember." He takes in a deep breath, appraising her
with loving eyes. "Now, we gotta get cleaned up and ready to go to
the office, I presume. New love may blossom but the government still
functions normally on a Saturday morning. And it looks like today is
going to be no slow news day."

"Don't remind me." CJ says, a little bitterly. How could she go in
there and spin this and give a statement about the man who was
holding her in his arms? How could she tell the world that he had
relapsed and done such a bad thing when he kisses her with such
tender and care? This man was in no way bad and didn't deserve what
he would surely be getting as soon as he stepped foot in the
Whitehouse. CJ hopes and prays no one has found out about it. She
shakes her head and decides to take their minds off what would
come. "We've got a little time before anyone expects us to surface,
so why don't we make the best of it?"

Leo smiles playfully. "What do you propose?"

She takes his hands and begins to back them toward the hallway as she
speaks, smiling coyly. "Oh, it has a little something to do with
whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears and telling each other
all the things we've longed to for years. That mixed in with a little
heated embracing and tonsil hockey."

"Ah, so that's what the young people are calling it these days? See,
I dunno if I like that. Us old fashion guys like to stick to good ,
dependable romance." Leo laughs heartily as CJ pulls him onto the
bed. He positions himself squarely on top of her and smiles down at
her, but his gaze quickly turns passionate and sincere. " God, CJ, I
want you so bad."

Her gaze matches his and it's equally demanding. " And you've got
me." She runs her hands up and down Leo's arms and begins to nip at
his lips, granting herself access. She wanted every part of this man,
and knew it would last forever. It was as if nothing else mattered.
All the mistakes of last night and every other night that could have
passed are swallowed as her hands travel down his chest.

I was never really breathing
My heart was never really beating
'Till you held me in your arms
And every love that didn't last
Every second of my past
Simply disappeared into the dark

He can't believe he's here. Leo can't believe after all the endless
wanting and dreaming CJ is here beneath him, offering him the only
thing he's ever wanted: Her heart. Last night she had captured him,
if he hadn't already been captured. Nothing would ever be the same
again, and he was thoroughly happy about that. Nothing mattered when
he was with her. Not work or their reputations, it all just stopped
being important. Since their kiss first kiss that morning he knew
they would spend a lifetime in eternal bliss together.

And with that first kiss I felt my life beginning
And the clock just froze
And the world stopped spinning
Now the magic of that moment
Is never ending
You make time stand still
..... And I'm loving every minute

She doesn't know just how she's gotten this lucky, but Leo has given
her everything she's ever wanted. For the first time she is excited
and not scared. She knows they will spend the rest of their lives
showing each other how much they love one another. But not that it
will be necessary, because she can already tell they'll be one of
those couples who are so in tuned with each other that it just comes
naturally and words aren't needed. But she also knows theirs is the
kind of love that strengthens through friendship and trust, and that
it will evolve and change over time, taking their love to new
limitless heights.

It's a need that never changes
A passion that is ageless
It consumes me like it did when it was new
You have led me to a place
Where everyday's the same
And I'm always falling more in love with you

And they both slowly slip into a state of blissful passion, kissing
and touching and exploring. They think of how they've gotten this far
and what'll be like in the future. But mostly they concentrate on the
feeling of soft skin beneath their fingertips and warm lips on their
own. They focus on fulfilling each other's needs, but more
importantly, each other's dreams of finding that someone who
completes you in every way. And that is what they are to each other-
the void that must be filled, the dream that must be fulfilled, the
aching that must be satisfied and the soul that must be nurtured and
loved.


And with that first kiss I felt my life beginning
And the clock just froze And the world stopped spinning
Now the magic of that moment
Is never ending
You make time stand still
..... And I'm loving every minute
Oh, and I'm loving every minute
Oh, loving you baby


THE END

    Source: geocities.com/ww_executive_branch