FINK: Welcome to the 25th Anniversary of Wrestlemania!
The camera pans over the huge crowd at Reliant Stadium.
FINK: Now here to perform America the Beautiful, Nicole Sherzinger.
The crowd listens respectfully to the song and cheers when she finishes.
JR: Welcome to Wrestlemania ladies and gentlemen, I’m good old JR along with my broadcast partner JBL!
JBL: This is what we live for JR, for us Wrestlemania is like Christmas, the Superbowl, the World Series, the Stanley Cup finals and New Year’s Eve all rolled into one!
JR: Also joining us are our Smackdown colleagues Joey Styles and Tazz.
STYLES: Thank you for the introduction JR, I am so excited to be here for the granddady of them all!
TAZZ: No doubt about it Joey, I don’t even want to waste time talking, let’s head up to the ring for the first match! I wish we were getting to call this one!
ARIEL AND MISHA VS EVE AND ANGELINA
LILLIAN: The following contest is a Divas tag team match. Introducing first, from Denver, Colorado, EVE TORRES
Eve gets a good reaction from the crowd as she makes her way to the ring.
JR: Eve was certainly in the middle of an awkward moment when she was harassed and accused by Raven of sleeping with the likes of Matt Striker. What a disturbing scene that was!
JBL: Raven is an idiot for letting this next Mrs. Layfield slip away!
LILLIAN: And her tag team partner, accompanied by her wife Dr. Williams, ANGELINA WILLIAMS
JBL: What? The shrink is coming with her? It’s bad enough she marries her therapist which is totally immoral and unprofessional on the doc’s part, now she is coming to the ring at Wrestle-freaking-Mania!
Eve doesn’t look at all impressed as Angelina and her bride make out. Angelina notices.
ANGELINA: Don’t look at us like that, Eve, there’s nothing wrong with showing public affection. But we have a very fun view of what our love life should be, we want this team to work, and we love a good threesome, so we want to invite you to a very special celebration after we win this match. Just the three of us…and maybe a hot tub, some…
Dr. Williams stops Angelina and tries to get her under control while Eve looks disgusted.
JBL: Well that sounds like a fun party…who wouldn’t want to see that?
JR: Eve for one. Seriously I have to wonder what kind of cohesiveness we will see from this team.
LILLIAN: And their opponents, first, MISHA
Misha comes out looking focused.
JR: Ironically, Misha, Eve and Ariel were all on the same team at Survivor Series with Angelina on the opposing team.
JBL: Angelina eliminated Misha from that match but Misha holds a one on one victory over Angelina. Some call it an upset, Angelina calls it luck, I say who cares she won and now she has a chance to prove it was no fluke.
LILLIAN: Her tag team partner, representing the Bloodline, ARIEL
Ariel walks to the ring, climbs onto the apron in a sultry manner and hangs upside down off the ropes.
The bell rings and we start off with Ariel and Angelina!
JBL: This is no surprise, these two had a very intense feud last year, Ariel won the womens title against Angelina and Melina in a triple threat, they fought on Alcatraz Island with Angelina snatching victory from the jaws of destruction, Ariel beat Angelina up and left her in a back alley behind a bite club, and some say Angelina has never been the same physically after that match.
Ariel kicks Angelina in the stomach as Angelina looks for a lock up, rams her head into a turnbuckle in a neutral corner and goes to work with kicks to the body. She then snapmares Angelina out of the corner, runs the ropes and kicks her right in the side of the head.
JR: Ariel is staring out very aggressively here.
JBL: As she should, this is Wrestle-freaking-Mania!
Angelina gets up and stumbles into the other neutral corner as the fiendishly smiling Ariel follows her in and chokes her with her foot. Ariel Irish whips Angelina and charges in but Angelina goes up and over her into a sunset flip….1…………Ariel kicks out. Angelina dropkicks Ariel, sends her into the ropes, gives her a hiptoss, then another dropkick. 1……………..2……………Ariel kicks out.
Dr. Williams is applauding at ringside.
JR: Well the good doctor seems happy with her, uh, wife’s performance here.
Angelina executes a flying headscissor and keeps the hold on.
JBL: You’ve often talked about Angelina’s leg strength and how she can use a scissor hold effectively. I don’t know if it’s exaggerated or not, she’d have to put the hold on me to test it out!
Ariel turns towards Angelina and gets to her knees in an effort to come out of the headscissor. Angelina takes the moment to slap Ariel on the butt! This angers her and when she does flip forward out of the hold she pummels away at Angelina on the mat instead of trying for a pin.
JBL: What is wrong with her? Even with her bride at ringside she is still carrying on like this…I mean I can understand wanting to touch Ariel’s ass but come on! Focus dammit!
Ariel sends Angelina into the ropes and gives her a Lou Thesz Press, unloading with punches to the face. She then gets off and throws Angelina out over the top rope to the floor!
JR: Angelina is taking some severe punishment in the early going of this match.
JBL: It may not be the early going if this keeps up.
Ariel follows Angelina out and whips her into the steps! Dr. Williams runs over in concern but Ariel shows her implanted fangs and chases her away. She then runs back, kicks Angelina in the stomach and gives her a neckbreaker on the floor!
JR: My God Ariel is trying to destroy Angelina!
JBL: And I like it, target the body part you know has been injured in the past! That’s how you win matches and settle scores in professional wrestling!
Ariel throws Angelina into the ring, rolls in and waits for her to stand. When she does, Ariel gives her a spear! She then stands up and runs her hands quickly over her figure, licks her lips and winks at the camera.
JR: Shades of Edge…do you think there was a message there?
JBL: I don’t know, but I’m sure Edge would like to spear Ariel if he hasn’t done so already…
Misha wants the tag and Ariel obliges. Misha grabs Angelina as she is just getting up, throws her back into a corner and hits a few hard kicks to the body, then Irish whips her chest first into the opposite corner. As Angelina stumbles back Misha gives her a German Suplex! 1………………2………………shoulder up but Eve was on her way in just in case. Dr Williams is pacing nervously and shouting, “Come on honey!”
JBL: That’s the first time we’ve heard Dr. Williams say that in public but I bet it’s not the first time she’s said it to Angelina…
Misha sends Angelina into ropes and goes for a clothesline but Angelina ducks and takes her down with a crucifix pin. 1…………..2…………..Misha kicks out and Angelina wisely makes a tag to Eve.
JR: That was a very good time for Angelina to tag in Eve Torres, she had taken a lot of punishment from Ariel and it would have been unwise to stay in the ring with a fresh and determined Misha.
Eve circles Misha and both women get into kickboxing stances.
JBL: Both of these women have backgrounds in kickboxing so this will be interesting.
Eve kicks Misha in the side and Misha retaliates with a kick to Eve’s side. Misha tries to follow up with a punch to the head but Eve ducks, kicks Misha and takes her down with an arm throw. Misha is up fast but Eve hits a one footed dropkick, then another and goes for the pin. 1……………..2……………Misha kicks out. Eve winds up the arm and looks for the tag to initiate a double team, but Angelina is down on the floor having her neck rubbed by Dr. Williams and this enables Misha to reverse the arm wringer, take Eve down and drive a knee into her back.
JBL: Dammit Angelina, focus! She just cost her partner big time.
Misha backs Eve up into the ropes and hits a few knees to the midsection, then tags in Ariel. Ariel hits a few chops to Eve’s chest, with a fanged smile. She sends Eve into the ropes and goes for a back body drop, but Eve kicks her in the chest.
JR: Ariel made a cardinal mistake by putting her head down too soon for that move.
Eve knocks Ariel down with a one footed dropkick and gets a two count, then sends her into the corner and runs in with a dropkick to the chest. Ariel falls to a seated position and Eve chokes her with her foot, then pulls her up, hits a few kicks to the body and then biels Ariel out of the corner. Ariel is up quick but Eve hits a high leg lariat. 1………….2…………….Ariel kicks out.
JBL: Eve is really impressing me in this match and I don’t impress easily.
Eve hiptosses Ariel, then goes for another but Ariel blocks and takes Eve down with a standing headscissor. Ariel follows it up with a flying mare when Eve stands up, drives a knee into her back and applies a kneeling abdominal stretch. Eve is in pain but refuses to submit when the ref asks her. She struggles to get up, but Ariel hits her in the side and then throws her backwards to the mat. She tags in Misha and holds Eve wide open for a hard kick to the body.
JR: Eve is being isolated here, and that to me shows that there is a lot more continuity between Ariel and Misha than there is between Eve and Angelina.
Misha drops Eve to her knees with a kick to the stomach, applies a standing headscissor and spikes Eve’s face into the mat. 1…………………..2……………Eve kicks out. Misha snap suplexes her. 1……………2…..Eve kicks out. She is still seated on the mat and Misha applies a leg nelson.
JBL: You don’t see this hold often, Misha is using her legs to apply pressure to both of Eve’s arms. Angelina should be getting in there to break this!
Eve screams in pain but doesn’t give up. She tries to inch her way towards the ropes but Misha is stopping her. Eve plants her feet on the mat and tries to push herself up and back, forcing Misha’s shoulders down. The ref starts to count but Misha quickly releases the hold.
JR: I have to hand it for Eve, that was a tremendous counter.
Misha sends Eve into the ropes and tries to clothesline her but Eve ducks and hits a one footed dropkick just as she turns. Eve turns to go for a tag but Angelina is turned away saying something to Angelina and Misha gets Eve from behind with a sleeper!
JBL: Dammit that’s the second time in this match that Eve has suffered because Angelina was messing around with her wife who has no damn business at ringside!
Misha falls back to the mat with the sleeper and also applies a bodyscissor.
JR: We have seen this hold from Misha before, she picked it up from her former mentor Lita. Angelina should be thinking about breaking this hold!
Instead Angelina actually turns to Dr. Williams and says, “Mmm, that gives me ideas…”
Eve tries to push her hands in between her neck and Misha’s arm to alleviate some of the pressure and avoid being put to sleep. Eventually she is able to roll Misha on her back. The ref begins a count but Misha rolls over onto her other side, maintaining the hold. This brings Eve close to the ropes though and she is able to get her foot on the bottom rope to break the hold.
JBL: Again Eve is forced to fight out of a dangerous hold alone because Angelina is no help at all! Dammit Angelina is disgracing herself here, at Wrestlemania she once captured the women’s title, she had a war with Morganna two years ago, last year she had a great match with Cindryn! But this year at the 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania she can’t even get mind off sex long enough to do her damn job and prove she belongs on the grandest stage of them all!
Misha tags Ariel back in. Ariel snapmares Eve and hits a flipover neck whip, covering her for a near fall. She then pulls Eve over to a neutral corner and hits a Tornado DDT! 1……………………………………2……………………………..
JBL: Ball game…
Eve gets her shoulder up! Ariel looks surprised and confronts the ref. While doing so she gets too close to Angelina, who grabs her and tries for the sexy spider!
JBL: Finally Angelina is doing something useful!
Ariel struggles to block it, knees Angelina in the midsection and then knocks her off the apron. Angelina lands right on her head!
JR: My God, did you hear that sickening sound?
Seeing Eve is still dazed, Ariel rolls outside to punish her hated foe. Dr. Williams is down tending to Angelina, but Ariel grabs her roughly by her business like jacket and throws her backwards!
JR: I don’t know if that was necessary…
JBL: I say it’s justified, she doesn’t belong out here and she is disrupting the quality of this match!
Ariel picks Angelina up and rams her head into the steps. Dr. Williams turns Ariel around and gets in her face but Ariel shoves her down roughly. The distraction enables Eve to catch Ariel with a kick as she comes back in, followed by a snap suplex. 1……………….2……………..Ariel kicks out.
Angelina stumbles over to Dr. Williams and helps her up. Dr. Williams winces in pain so Angelina asks, “Where does it hurt baby?”
Dr. Williams says her shoulder, so Angelina unbuttons the business attire she is wearing and takes it off, revealing a tank top. The crowd begins to whistle.
JBL: Hey that’s one good thing that has come from having Dr. Williams out here!
Angelina sees a small bruise and decides to kiss it better.
JR: Um, there is a time and place for this ant it isn’t in the middle of this match…
Eve looks down from inside the ring and shouts at Angelina to pay attention. She turns back around and Ariel kicks her in the stomach and hits a sitout facebuster!
1………………………………2……………………………………
Shoulder up! Ariel looks at the ref in shock.
JR: I can’t believe Eve was able to kick out of that. I thought for sure Ariel was going to get the three count.
JBL: I give Eve all the credit in the world, she knows this is Wrestlemania and she is pushing herself as she has never pushed herself before! It’s a total contrast to her partner!
On the floor, Dr. Williams turns around to face Angelina, apparently turned on by having her bruise kissed repeatedly. Angelina looks intently at her wife, then they both lose control and begin to make out on the floor! The crowd likes it. Angelina actually takes Dr. Williams tank top off, leaving her in a black lace bra.
JBL: THIS IS RIDICULOUS! HOT, BUT RIDICULOUS!
Misha tags in, hits a few kicks to the body, then a roundhouse to Eve’s face. 1……………………..2……………….shoulder up. Angelina and Dr. Williams are actually down on the floor going at it now!
JR: My God…
Misha tries to go for a single leg boston crab. Eve struggles to stay out of it, gets to her foot while Misha still has her leg, then hits an enziguri!!!
JBL: Atta a girl Eve. She’s got no quit in her.
Eve looks for a tag, then looks around for Angelina. When she looks out to the floor she sees Angelina and Dr. Williams still making out and shouts, “ANGELINA YOU STUPID #*@(*@(#”
Misha spins Eve around, kicks her and goes for a powerbomb but Eve backdrops her. Eve then stuns Misha with a roundhouse kick to the head. Angelina has finally gotten on the apron, but turns around to blow a kiss to Dr. Williams, who looks like she needs a cigarette and is looking for her top.
JR: This is one Wrestlemania moment I can’t believe we are seeing!
Eve angrily slaps Angelina across the head, then snapmares her over the ropes into the ring and gets out!
JBL: WHAT A TAG! I LOVE IT!
Misha meanwhile has also tagged out. Ariel rushes in, tackles Angelina down and pummels her. She Irish whips Angelina, hits a corner clothesline and grabs her by the throat. Angelina kicks free and DDTs Ariel. 1…………….2…………..shoulder up! Angelina goes to the top and tries the Flying Angel but Ariel moves and she crashes and burns!
JR: That could be it for Angelina and she just got back in after a lengthy, um, rest period on the floor.
Ariel gets into position to go for the kill but Dr. Williams gets on the apron, still without her tanktop. Ariel takes a swing at her. Angelina recovers and tries for the Kiss of Death!
JR: I didn’t know if Angelina would try for those sexualized moves with her wife at ringside…
Ariel turns her head aside, tears Angelina’s arms off her neck, then spins around behind her, still holding Angelina’s wrists. She then hits a Straightjacket Reverse DDT! 1………………………..2…………………………
Eve breaks it up!
Misha comes in and she and Eve trade kicks! Dr. Williams is clapping on the apron to encourage Angelina to get up. Ariel turns and knocks her off the apron!
JBL: YES!
Angelina stumbles to the ropes and looks over to see if her bride is ok.
Meanwhile Misha and Eve have rolled out of the ring and are still fighting. Ariel shouts at Angelina to turn around and seems upset that she isn’t focused on the match. She finally shrugs, spins Angelina around and gives her the Chokehold STO!
JBL: Ballgame.
Ariel sits across Angelina’s chest, facing away from her, and hooks one leg as the crowd whistles.
1……………………2……………………….3
HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS: ARIEL AND MISHA
Standing over Angelina, Ariel takes a bow to the delight of the fans and Misha gets in the ring to high five her and celebrate. Eve looks on at ringside in total frustration.
JR: I feel bad for Eve, this was her Wrestlemania debut and she worked as hard as anyone but her partner was not focused at all and robbed her of the chance to score a win on the grandest stage of them all.
Ariel and Misha leave, turning back on the stage for a last victory pose. Eve gets in the ring and she is yelling at Angelina, who is just trying to get up.
JBL: Boy is Eve ever mad!
Angelina starts to stand but Eve hits a high roundhouse to the head and knocks her back out!
JR: What a shot!
Eve then steps over Angelina and storms up the ramp as Dr. Williams crawls into the ring to check on her wife.
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: BRIMSTONE VS THE GREAT KHALI
Styles: You know what would Wrestlemania be with out a collision of two giants, and this year we have Brimstone taking on the Great Khali.
Tazz: Not for nothing it’s the proverbial King Kong butting heads with Godzilla.
A video package to the song More Human than Human by White Zombie shows the following clips. Khali kissing some beautiful girls and then Brimstone terrorizing them in the hall. Khali intervening causing the monsters to have a brawl. It shifts to the Great Khali waiting for Claudia to show up on his kiss cam, but instead we see Brimstone and her locked in room, with Claudia trying to escape. It ends with Mideon kidnaping Claudia while Brimstone battles with the Great Khali as a diversion.
Lillian: The following match is scheduled for one fall and is for the United States Championship. Accompanied to the ring by Runjin Sing, from India, weighing 420 pounds, the Great Khali
Khali gets a huge pop from the fans. He has an amazing entrance with Indian woman dancers coming out first and dropping flowers along the entrance way.
TAZZ: For Khali its about more than just the United States Title it is about putting a stop to the disgusting actions of not just Brimstone but of the Entire New Church.
Styles: If there is any man that can do that, it’s the over 7 foot tall Punjabi Nightmare, and believe me that’s the Khali we will see tonight. There will be no dancing and laughing tonight folks.
Lillian: Introducing his opponent, accompanied to the ring by the Sinister Minister James Mitchell, representing the New Church and weighing in at 305 pounds, the WWE United States champion Brimstone.
The eerie theme of the New Church blasts through the crowd as Brimstone makes his way to the ring wearing his battle gear. Mitchell laughs his way to the ring brandishing his walking stick.
Styles: Despite seeing Brimstone harassing Khali’s women we learned that Brimstone was actually doing so, searching for a mate for a dejected Mideon.
TAZZ: It’s absolutely twisted kidnapping a girl like that, but what do you expect from a family lead by James Mitchell.?
STYLES: You could say Khali is actually fighting for the honor and safety of women here, namely his intended Kiss cam guest Claudia.
Tazz: Well later we will see Hannibal fight Vampiro over Morganna and that’s what we have here, too.
Styles: Hey let’s not forget how Ariel has been possibly been starting something on the side with Edge.
Tazz: Joey I didn’t forget I just had no desire being the guy to bring it up.
Brimstone takes off his skull helmet and steps over the top rope and right away the monsters go face to face.
Tazz: Gentlemen Jurassic Park has come to Wrestlemania.
Ding Ding.
Khali goes for a pummeling blow but Brimstone dodges it and lays in some body shots. Khali stumbles a bit but gets in a huge knee and tosses Brimstone effortlessly to the outside.
Styles: OH I don’t think we have seen anyone slow this monster down and Khali just tossed him to the outside with ease.
Tazz: The mask may hide his true emotions but I think Brimstone must be in shock to find out just how strong Khali is.
Brimstone gets back in the ring, gets close to Khali and boots him in the gut and hits an uppercut, then a headbutt, then another punch. He continues to punch and kick away at Khali backing him up against the ropes.
Styles: Can Mitchell’s monster chop down this secoya sized superstar?
Brimstone tries to whip Khali off the ropes, but Khali pulls him back and tosses him over the top rope. Brimstone gets up and kicks the steel steps over in frustration. He gets on the apron and Khali lands a knee through the ropes and brings him back in with a double handed choke toss.
Tazz: Khali is dominating a guy that has been next to unstoppable this is amazing.
Brimstone gets to his feet and Khali sends him down with a short arm clothesline. He goes for the pin.
1....
2...
Kick out.
Khali picks up Brimstone, but he fires off a shot to the stomach, then an uppercut, then a boot to the mid-section. Over and over Brimstone rocks Khali into the corner. Brimstone takes a few steps in and connects with a massive clothesline, but Khali does not fall. Brimstone tries again but this time runs right into a big boot, sending him to the mat. Khali then locks in a nerve hold clamping his massive hands right on the shoulder muscles of Brimstone.
Styles: Again if we could see under that mask I am sure we would see the look of pure anguish.
TAZZ: Absolutely look at the way Khali`s hand envelopes the entire shoulder of Brimstone.
Brimstone battles to his feet and again we see him fire off big time blows that rock Khali into the corner. Brimstone frees himself and unloads with a big Chop the chest again and again. He then buries a knee into the gut. Brimstone climbs to the second rope and unloads with ton of vicious shots.
Tazz: Wow look at the speed and power behind each of those shots.
He then gets off Khali, who stumbles out of the corner and falls to the ground.
Styles: Well give the devil his due, that sick freak did it and has taken the Great Khali down.
Brimstone raises his arm in victory quickly then sees Khali trying to get up and he kicks him in the face. Brimstone runs off the ropes, drops a huge leg drop across the chest and goes for the cover.
1...
2....
Shoulder up.
Brimstone than wraps his arms around the neck of Khali and digs both hands into the neck of the big man, while ramming his knee into his back.
Styles: OH my God, have you ever seen anyone do that before?
Tazz: God someone needs to stop this before he digs those hands of his right through Khali’s flesh.
Khali screams in Indian, but slowly makes his way to his feet. Brimstone though releases the hold and clips the back of his leg with a quick boot to the calf muscle. Khali falls to his knees and Brimstone runs off the ropes and hits a running knee to the back of the head.
TAZZ: Damn it he may have knocked him out with that blow.
Brimstone goes for a cover,
1....
2....
2...99
Shoulder up.
Brimstone again locks in the same vicious hold, but Khali slowly gets to his feet and this time frees himself with a reverse elbow to the chin.
Khali then lifts up Brimstone for the PUNJABI PLUNGE, but Brimstone headbutts Khali breaking his grip. Brimstone lands on his feet and Khali fires back with the GIANT CHOP to the skull.
Brimstone falls like sack of hammers and Khali goes for the pin.
1.......
2.....
2..99
Shoulder up.
Tazz: It speaks volumes of how tough this Brimstone freakado really is. Not many men have been able to get up after that Giant Chop to the skull.
Khali gets to his feet and motions for the KHALI VICE GRIP and he applies it.
Mitchell gets up on the apron but just then Runjin Singh pulls him down , gets on top of of him and starts unloading.
Styles: Yes, get him Runjin nail that scumbag.
To add to the confusion from the back comes Claudia.
Styles: Hey its Claudia she’s free and looks she’s making a B-line to the ring.
Tazz: No doubt to watch this monster get his skull crushed by the Great Khali.
Claudia gets in the ring and walks towards Khali and Brimstone as Khali has the hold on tight. She then hits A LOW BLOW ON KHALI.
Styles: What the hell?
The ref calls for the Bell.
Lillian: Here is your winner by disqualification, THE GREAT KHALI.
Tazz: I am shock what the heck happened here?
Khali slowly turns around wondering what Claudia is doing, but from the back comes Mideon running. He first helps out Mitchell with Runjin pulling him off and tossing him violently into the ring.
Meanwhile Brimstone gets to his feet and is battling with Khali. Mideon gets in and now both men go to work on him. Khali does his best to fight back but the numbers overcome him. Over and over they kick away and punch Khali. Finally officials are able to reason with Mitchell and he calls them off.
Styles: I suppose I should remind our fans at home that a title belt does not change hands via a disqualification.
TAZZ: I am still in shock why did Claudia do this to Khali?
The last sight we see is Claudia holding Mideon’s hand, Brimstone walking away and Mitchell laughing devilishly while Kahli looks on in anger from the ring.
MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH.
Lillian: The following match is the Money in the bank ladder match. The superstar who climbs up the ladder to retrieve the briefcase will have a shot at any WWE title he chooses for up to one year.
Tazz: Hey there is nothing more fun than getting to call Wrestling’s most unpredictable match up, the Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Introducing first from Detroit Michigan, Big Daddy Cool Kevin Nash.
The NWO Wolfpac theme blasts over the P.A and out comes Kevin Nash to a mixed reaction.
Styles: Will it be the size of Big Daddy Cool, that will help him win this match?
TAZZ: Its not just size that he brings but clearly Nash is the strongest man here. If he uses a similar strategy that Demolition once used to win a ladder match he could win this match by just first beating the heck out of everyone in his way, then climbing the ladder.
Lillian: Next from Miami Florida, weighing in at 275 pounds, the Rock.
Do You Smell What the Rock is Cooking blasts over the P.A and out comes the Rock to actually a lot of boos, and you sold out chants.
Styles : Well its clear that the Texas fans share the same mindset of Christian and feel the Rock has sold out.
Tazz: Hey why not, I mean really what has the Rock done for the WWE as of late? The Noodnick didn’t even show up for Fan Axcess, even Morganna made an appearance and she hates the fans more than anyone.
Styles: Well, tonight we will see if the Rock is still committed to becoming a WWE champion or not. Case closed.
Lillian: Next, weighing 205 pounds Peppy
Styles: And here is the under dog, the dark horse to win this match. What a Wrestlemania moment this would be if Peppy came out on top tonight.
Tazz: It would indeed be something for sure but he has to go through a lot of stiff competition to do it. Peppy is in my opinion the fastest superstar in this match, and he is crazy as can be. That mind set that can work in ones favor in this match, but it can also lead to one making a big time mistake too.
Lillian: Next, from the Bowerie, weighing 248 pounds, Raven.
Raven is booed heavily as he makes his way to the ring. He is dressed in a black leather jacket and grey kilt.
Tazz: Well it could be my old ECW foe that could be the first man to win the Money in The Bank briefcase two years in a row. For Raven this is a chance to turn his life around. In recent months he has lost the WWE title and his girl friend Eve, but as Raven pointed out he is no stranger to clawing his way up from the bottom to the top.
My question is will the personal animosity between Raven and Christian Cage that was rekindled at the Royal Rumble come back to cost either man tonight?
Styles: Well I am still disgusted by that stunt he pulled with Eve and the way he shoved Christian right into her, causing poor Eve to get squished in the corner and suffer some minor injuries. Who knows those injuries could even have affected her performance here tonight and she couldn’t afford to be anything less than one hundred percent as she had little help from her tag team partner.
Lillian: And finally from Toronto, Ontario Canada, weighing 227 pounds, Captain Charisma Christian Cage.
Christian gets the loudest pop from the fans as he makes way to the ring slapping his chest and pointing to the fans in appreciation.
TAZZ: Here is the man with the most ladder match experience and it could be that know how, which could give Christian the edge here tonight.
Styles: And Christian has been on a big roll as of late, he was a survivor along with Gangrel at the Survivor Series and put on a heck of a performance in the Royal Rumble lasting nearly 30 minutes. If you ask me its Christian that has the momentum here.
Tazz: Well, maybe but lets not forget he’s been on the receiving end of the Raven Effect twice in recent weeks. Psychologically it may be Raven who is in the driver seat here, especially when you consider that he beat Christian in a ladder match for the WWE title at one time.
Ding Ding
On the outside Nash is double teamed by both Peppy and The Rock while, Raven does not leave the ring. He attacks Christian kicking him and punching him as soon as he gets in the ring. Raven grabs Christian by his jacket pulling him up and hooks Christian in for the Raven Effect. Christian pushes him off and connects with a standing drop kick that sends Raven staggering and Christian clotheslines him over the top rope.
Styles: Raven tried for the early cheap shot but it didn`t pay off, as Christian was more than ready for it this time.
Christian slaps his chest and tosses his jacket to the outside. Raven is furious and grabs a ladder looking to bring it into the ring. Cage though is one step ahead of him and hits a baseball slide, slamming the ladder into Raven`s face.
Tazz: Captain Charisma is on a roll right now, but how about the number the Rock and Peppy are doing on Nash?
Together they have brought Nash down to his knees. The Rock continues to wale away at him and he point to the top rope. Peppy makes the climb and takes out Nash with a high cross body. Peppy gets up and the Rock looks to go for the high-five, but Peppy shocks everyone drop kicking the Rock.
Tazz: Ha I love it, this Kid knows the rules very well, every man for himself.
Meanwhile Christian has pursued Raven to the outside and crashes his head off the announce table. He leads Raven to the steel steps and goes to bash his head off of it but Raven hits a back kick to the nether regions and Cage hunches over in pain. Raven unloads with a discus clothesline sending Cage completely down. He then mounts him and begins to rain down blow after blow as Christian tries to cover up.
Meanwhile Peppy decides to grab a ladder and brings it in the ring. He quickly sets it up and begins to climb.
Tazz: Hey look at how quick Peppy has made it up the ladder.
He`s half way up the ladder, when Raven see this, gets in the ring, quickly clocks Peppy in the back of the leg and then pulls him off the ladder. Raven delivers a quick swinging neck breaker to Peppy and then makes the climb himself.
Styles: Now its Raven who is primed to win this match.
Raven is nearly to the top, but in comes Nash and he grabs Raven by both legs and pulls the switch on the Electric Chair. Raven falls down hard crashing his head off the mat. Nash gets up and now he begins the climb to the top.
Tazz: Ok well I guess it`s Nash’s turn now. Can he make it?
Styles: Nash may not be as quick as the others but he is so tall he doesn’t need to climb nearly as high!
Nash is partway there but off the top rope comes Christian with missile drop kick hitting the ladder and sending Nash crashing down off of it.
Tazz: This action is getting too fast to even call, I didn’t even see Christian coming.
Christian is slow to get up, but does and sets the ladder back up. He looks to make the climb when the Rock spins him right around and unloads with shot after shot and caps it off with a clothesline. The Rock picks up Christian, sends him into the ropes and hits a big time back body drop. But Raven has brought in another ladder and he takes the Rock’s head off with it. Raven slams the ladder down on Christian, picks him up and body slams him right on top of it. Christian holds his back in pain as Raven smiles sadistically.
Styles: Now you are seeing how the ladder can be used as weapon and not just as a way to reach that coveted prize hanging above.
TAZZ: And no one has a more creative mind for violence than Raven!
Raven turns around sees Peppy coming off the top, side steps him and slams his fist right into the breadbasket.
Styles: Oh Raven was one step ahead of the under-dog, who just went for high risk and received a low reward.
Raven sets up a ladder and begins the climb. He’s nearly at the top, but Nash is able to get to him in time. He lays in a shot to the lower back of Raven and tries to pull him down, but Raven kicks away at him trying to get Nash off of him. However he is unsuccessful in doing so and Nash pulls him down hard. Nash crashes his head off one of the ladder’s rungs, then whips Raven off the ropes hits a big boot and Raven rolls to the outside.
Tazz: Well that’s no fun boys, Nash just about sent Raven to dreamland.
Nash begins the climb on the ladder, but Peppy lands a blow to the back that has little effect. Nash gets off the ladder and looks annoyed. He swings a hey maker but Peppy ducks it and kicks Nash in the leg. Nash holds it in pain and Peppy runs off the ropes and goes for a high-cross body, but Nash catches him in mid-air and hits a sidewalk slam on the fallen ladder.
Styles: Oh My god, he may have broke Peppy’s back with that huge sidewalk slam
Nash again looks to climb the ladder but Christian spins him around and unloads a shot to the stomach. Nash fires back a big right that sends Cage to his knees. He lays down another shot the head, but Cage covers up and gets to his feet. Nash unloads with another shot, and Cage fires one back in the stomach, than another and another and another that backs Nash against the ropes. Cage runs at him for a clothesline, Nash though back drops him over his shoulder. Cage lands on the apron on his feet. He grabs Nash from behind and snaps the back of his neck off the top rope.
Tazz: Simply amazing, I have to say I am really loving this match.
Just then Raven pulls Cage down from the apron and charges him right into the security barrier back first. Raven pulls out a ladder from under the ring and slams it into the stomach of Christian. He then rests it against the security wall, picks up Cage and executes a side-Russian leg sweep right against the ladder.
STYLES: Oh my God…
Raven turns back to the ring and is met by the Rock who attacks him when he gets on the apron. Rock brings Raven into the ring with a hip toss. Raven lands with a thud on his back and the Rock stomps away on him a bit. Rock picks up a ladder and wedges into the corner. He grabs the legs of Raven and catapults him face first into the ladder.
Styles: Solid unforgiving steel every man has tasted it and found it to be a very bitter pill to swallow.
The Rock sets the ladder up and begins the climb to the top. Slowly he makes his way there, but Peppy also sets up a ladder and makes his climb. The two both reach the tops of their ladders and a slugfest ensues. Peppy chops the Rock in the chest, Rock fires back with a right. Then from under them Nash tips over both ladders and both men land split legged on the ring ropes.
Styles: OH MY GOD!!
Tazz: You mean oh my testicles, if any choirs are looking for a soprano I think we have two candidates right here.
Nash sees Raven getting up and throws the ladder into his chest crushing Raven against the turnbuckle. Nash then measures Raven, taking a picture with his hands and hits the picture perfect elbow to the face.
Tazz: So far Kevin Nash has really dominated here, and I am a little shocked to see that.
Raven rolls under the ropes to the outside to regroup.
Christian begins to slide a ladder into the ring. Nash sees this, cuts him off halfway and reaches down, but Christian pushes down on one end of the ladder and the other side swings up connecting with Nash`s chin. Nash backs away and blood trickles from his mouth. Christian gets in and grabs the ladder. He clotheslines Nash with it sending him through the ropes. He sees the Rock getting to his feet and buries it into the Great One`s chest. Cage drops the ladder and hits a running clothesline that sends the Rock over the top rope. Cage turns around and Peppy chops him in the chest, kicks him in the leg and leaps up on Christian`s shoulders. He then takes Cage to the outside with a huricanranna, holding on to the top rope for leverage.
Tazz: Peppy is alone in the ring and no one is able to stop him from making the climb guys, we could see the underdog pull it out here.
Peppy though sets a ladder up right near the ropes, climbs to the top and comes off and nails everyone with a tremendous cross-body.
Styles: OH MY GOD, talk about High Risk, this kid is as crazy as they come.
Tazz: Well you kind have to be to willingly take on Kane as your wrestling instructor don`t you?
Peppy slowly gets to his feet and gets back in the ring. He sets up the ladder and begins the climb. However on the outside Raven has grabbed a steel chair. He clocks both Christian and Rock with it and gets in the ring. He climbs up after Peppy and buries the chair into his legs. Peppy then falls and his legs get hung on the ladder, leaving him upside down. Raven then swings the chair unmercifully against Peppy’s skull not once but twice and Peppy falls a bloody mess.
Styles: Peppy’s Wrestlemania dreams have possible been brutally destroyed by Raven.
Raven begins the climb now but Nash gets in the ring and clocks Raven in the back. He grabs hold of Raven and puts him into position for a JACK KNIFE POWER BOMB. Nash walks over to the ropes with Raven still set up.
Tazz: Oh if Nash hits this its over for Raven.
Raven though fires a flurry of shots to the head and grabs the top rope and gets off Nash landing on the apron. He fires off an elbow through the ropes, snaps Nash’s neck off the top rope and gets in the ring. Raven picks up a fallen ladder and drives it into the back of Nash’s leg! Nash falls to the mat holding his leg in agony.
Styles: Right in the back of the leg! Kevin Nash has had a history of knee surgeries and a torn quadriceps muscle! Raven may well have found his Achilles heel here!
Raven cruelly drops the ladder on Nash’s leg! The big man screams in pain. Raven opens the ladder on the mat, puts Nash’s leg inside and repeatedly slams the ladder on his leg. Nash is screaming in pain.
Tazz: We talked about the way Nash was imposing his physical will on his opponents, Raven is making sure to take him out of the match for good!
Raven lays out the ladder on the mat. After pulling himself up with the ropes, Nash approaches Raven but the demented one kicks him in the leg and hits
THE RAVEN EFFECT ON THE LADDER!!!
Styles: Oh Nash has been busted open.
Raven picks the ladder up and throws it out of the ring on top of Rock and Christian as they try to get up!
Styles: Oh my God…
Tazz: Raven has this match under control and no one can stop him now.
Raven begins the climb. He is near the top and has his hands on the briefcase.
Tazz: Raven’s going to win this for the second year in a row!
Just then Eve Torres runs from the back and into the ring.
Tazz: Hey not there is ever a bad time to see the lovely Eve Torres but what is she doing here?
Raven sees this and shakes his head no, shouting “DON’T YOU DARE BITCH!!!”
EVE KNOCKS OVER THE LADDER!!
STYLES: OH MY GOD!
Raven falls all the way to the outside and starts convulsing from the impact.
Styles: Ha it serves that jerk right if you ask me!
Tazz: Eve may have just cost Raven the match!
In the ring now both the Rock and Christian are battling with each other. Christian gets the better of the Rock with a big time knee to the gut and delivers a neck breaker. Cage sets the ladder up in the corner and leans the Rock against it. He runs full force for a splash but the Rock moves and Cage crashes into the ladder.
Styles: Captain Charisma just came up short with that big Splash and now the Rock is in firm control.
The Rock bashes Cage’s head against the ladder then fires a few shots to the head. He then takes a few steps back and runs full force at Cage, but Cage throws the ladder into The Rock’s face. The Rock gets up and Cage fires off a chop to the chest and whips him into the corner. Cage runs towards the Rock. The Rock tries to leap over Cage holding onto the top rope, but Cage stops short and hits a low blow.
Tazz: Oh No not in the People’s strudel.
The Rock shouts in pain and Christian sets up the ladder. He begins to climb it he’s so close and can touch it but the Rock is on him and clocks Christian with another ladder into the legs. Christian falls down and the Rock sets up his ladder, then begins the climb. Rung by rung The Rock comes that much closer, but Christian digs deep and he begins to climb back up the other ladder.
Tazz: It’s now a race to the top.
Both men then begin to lay in shot after shot with each other. Each blow staggers the other. The Rock though connects with a haymaker and locks Christian up for the Rock Bottom.
Styles: NO WAY, DON”T DO IT YOU’LL KILL HIM.
Cage though elbows free stunning the Rock. He then drops down two rungs on the ladder, flips his body upside down and connects with an amazing kick to the head of the Rock. The Rock falls off the ladder and Christian flips back. He reaches the top of the ladder and grabs the case.
LILLIAN: HERE IS YOUR WINNER CAPTAIN CHARISMA CHRISTIAN CAGE!!!!
Styles: Christian has won money in the bank and now has earned the right to be called Mr. Money in the Bank. Actually I think he wants to be referred to as Captain Money in the Bank.
Tazz: Well whatever you call him I say hats off to Christian for getting the job done tonight.
Styles: Now the question is when will Christian cash that title shot in?
Tazz: I don’t think will be tonight. He may have won the match but he took one hell of beating to do it. And like Peppy said, you go through this and your reward is currently a match with Kevin Thorn? Some prize!
Perched on the top of the ladder with the briefcase in one hand, Christian points at the huge crowd and slaps his chest a few times before climbing down.
WWE WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: ABSINTHE VS MORGANNA
History recap: Morganna was the first person to be trained for the ring by Kane, becoming one of the most dominant female competitors in WWE history and also becoming almost like a daughter to the Big Red Machine. She was popular, respected, successful. But then things changed. Frustrated that some fans began to cheer the sexual antics of her enemy Angelina, Morganna began to turn against all of the fans. At the same time, another young woman, an independent wrestler named Absinthe, became a protégé of Kane and Cindryn’s and in Morganna’s eyes she became a threat to the special bond she shared with her mentor.
Footage airs from the sparring session where Absinthe helped to prepare Morganna for a match with Angelina, with the newcomer sticking to technical moves while Morganna got caught up in the heat of the moment and landed Devestatia. This incident angered Kane even though Absinthe felt no ill will towards Morganna. A year ago at Wrestlemania, Morganna was booed when she turned on her tag team partner Trish Stratus…while Absinthe made her debut, carrying an asp to the ring after Cindryn defeated Angelina. This further planted the seeds of jealousy. As Absinthe’s popularity grew, and she earned the praise of many including Vampiro, Morganna’s jealousy grew. She began to give unwanted advice about not trusting anyone to Absinthe, causing greater tension with the generally positive and fan friendly upstart. She appeared in the crowd when Absinthe fought Beulah McGillicutty and appeared unhappy that her rival avoided causing injury during the match, expressing disgust at her technical offence.
The two ended up opponents when Absinthe was booked as Angelina’s tag team partner against Ariel and Morganna. When they squared off it was a classic battle of strength vs speed and agility, but Morganna seemed shocked by the tenacity and ferocity of her smaller opponent. The match ended in victory for Morganna’s side as Ariel pinned Angelina while Absinthe and Morganna fought at ringside. Ironically, the fierce attack of the smaller fighter eased the tensions between the two women, and Morganna even reluctantly invited Absinthe to a dinner at her home alongside Cindryn and Kane. She even teamed up with Absinthe against two of Kane’s trainees, even though their obvious personal differences prevented any true cohesion. When Absinthe was injured in a car accident, Morganna actually made a get well card for her that was signed by members of the roster. In turn, Absinthe arranged for Morganna to get a key to Kane’s gym, knowing Morganna had been upset that the practical minded Kane had given Absinthe a key some time before.
When Absinthe returned from injury the two even teamed successfully at Survivor Series, but Morganna was upset that she was disqualified from the match while Absinthe was one of the survivors. Later, when Absinthe won the women’s title from Ariel in Madison Square Garden, jealousy again reared it’s ugly head and Morganna offered insincere congratulations, putting down Absinthe’s pinning combination as luck.
Things took a disturbing turn for the worse when Mideon became obsessed with Absinthe. Thinking that it would be funny to embarrass her rival, Morganna convinced Mideon to pursue Absinthe relentlessly, claiming she was just playing hard to get. Absinthe was very disturbed by the stalking and when Mideon grabbed her on Piper’s Pit, earning a kick in the groin, he revealed that it was Morganna who convinced him this was the right course of action. Absinthe was furious and the fight was on. She teamed with Vampiro to take on Hannibal and Morganna, using her speed to embarrass Morganna in the early going. Morganna eventually used her power to womanhandle Absinthe and tried to make her beg for mercy with the Vampiric Embrace, but Absinthe escaped with a double chop to the neck and hit the Green Devil. In the end Vampiro pinned Hannibal. Morganna brought in a chair but Absinthe dropkicked it into her face and skateboarded it into her chest.
Morganna later apologized and asked to be paired with Absinthe in a tag match. Could she have seen the error of her behaviour? With each woman holding a tag team victory could she have been ready to call it even? During the match, Morganna tweaked her knee. Absinthe tagged in and finished the match, but the paranoid Morganna believed she had stolen the spotlight and hit her from behind with the Women’s Title belt. A match was signed for Wrestlemania. On Saturday Night’s Main Event, Morganna attacked Absinthe from behind after a victory over Michelle McCool, tied her hands with duct tape and tried to make her beg for mercy with the Vampiric Embrace, but Absinthe refused. The scene was one of the most disturbing in recent WWE history. It was Ariel who finally intervened, convincing Morganna that Absinthe had even turned her friends against her. Later that night Morganna tried to do the same thing to Absinthe’s friend Eve, but Absinthe intervened, giving Morganna a Taste of Absinthe and locking in the Wormwood Stretch.
Morganna’s paranoia grew as Kane stated in the View From Hell that he held Morganna responsible for the escalation of the feud and at one point in an unguarded moment, said that Morganna had broken his heart. Morganna seems unable to understand Kane’s reaction and has been on the verge of a break down during several public appearances. Many legends including Hulk Hogan and Stone Cold Steve Austin expressed their support for Absinthe over the Axcess weekend, and rumours have spread that there may be a relationship of some kind between Absinthe and Stone Cold. Morganna responded by vowing that she would defeat Absinthe and finally get her life back to normal. Tonight she and Absinthe will finally meet one on one to settle this year long dispute on Wrestling’s grandest stage.
LILLIAN: This contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the WWE women’s championship!
The Vampire Song begins to play.
LILLIAN: Introducing first, representing the Bloodline, from Los Angeles, California, MORGANNA
Morganna is on the receiving end of boos, jeers and Crow Ho chants. She is trying to ignore them, but when most of the people in a crowd of 72,000 plus are insulting you it’s hard and she has to fight back tears.
STYLES: This is certainly a contrast from the reaction Morganna got during her first Wrestlemania as a wrestler but she brought it on herself with her actions as of late!
TAZZ: Well Morganna is definitely a mixed up girl.
Morganna gets in the ring and paces, now letting her rage build up.
STYLES: Morganna has it in her head that Absinthe turned the world against her and she wants to do everything in her power to destroy the current women’s champion. We saw a disgusting example of that on Saturday Night’s Main Event when she bound Absinthe’s hands behind her using duct tape and put her in the Vampiric Embrace.
LILLIAN: Her opponent, the WWE Women’s Champion ABSINTHE!
Absinthe comes out in a new outfit, consisting of black and green pants with a mesh pattern, a black and green tanktop with the same mesh pattern, and serpentine green bands up her arms.
TAZZ: Hey I like the new outfit. Looks like she is maybe coming out her shell a bit.
Instead of running out as she usually does, Absinthe walks slowly, and we now see her ribs taped.
STYLES: Oh no…I wanted to believe Absinthe when she said she got through that ordeal without injury but obviously that isn’t the case.
TAZZ: And Morganna is going to zero right in on that!
Morganna smiles devilishly and waves for Absinthe to come to the ring. Absinthe rubs her side a bit and looks nervous. Morganna’s smile broadens and she says to the camera, “This time she will admit I am Kane’s best student…and she will beg for mercy!”
STYLES: Oh is she still on that!?
When she gets halfway to the ring, Absinthe begins to unwind the tape around her ribs.
TAZZ: Wait a minute what is Absinthe thinking? That tape is there for a reason…
Morganna still looks arrogant at this point. Absinthe takes off all the tape, slaps both of her sides with a grin and then begins to sprint to the ring. Morganna’s smile fades and turns to a look of disbelief.
STYLES: It was a trick!
TAZZ: She isn’t hurt! You don’t run like that with sore ribs!
As Morganna is stunned, Absinthe jumps onto the apron, throws the belt to Lillian and hits a springboard crossbody!
1……………………………..2…………………..Morganna powers out.
STYLES: Absinthe almost got the quick victory!
Morganna is up fast and, thrown off her game, throws a wild punch. Absinthe ducks and sweeps Morganna’s feet out from under her. 1……….kickout. Absinthe kicks Morganna in the stomach, doubling her over, then executes a flying sunset flip. 1………………2………………..kickout. Absinthe executes a quick hurricanrana and reaches back to hook the legs. 1…………………….2………………….Morganna powers out. After a dropkick, Morganna rolls out and slaps the apron in frustration.
TAZZ: I’m surprised Absinthe didn’t look to do more damage. You’d think she’d want to put Morganna in the hospital after all she’s pulled but she was going for quick pins.
STYLES: I’m surprised she didn’t try to feign the injury into the match to lull Morganna into a false sense of security. That may have been the better strategy.
TAZZ: Well I don’t think Absinthe wants to rely on deception, I think she just wanted to prove she isn’t injured and land a little blow to the ego of Morganna before the match.
Absinthe waits in the ring and waves Morganna on. Morganna is seething and slides in. She charges right into a drop toe hold. Absinthe applies a quick armbar, but Morganna fights to her feet, grabs Absinthe around the waist with her free arm and powers her back into a corner. The ref orders a break but Morganna knees Absinthe repeatedly in the ribs, then hits a Kane style uppercut to the face. Morganna chokes Absinthe with one hand to the count of four, sends her into the ropes and hits a Lou Thesz Press, bashing Absinthe’s head off the mat over and over. She then hooks the leg. 1………………..2……………kickout.
STYLES: Morganna’s dominating power really came into play there. She muscled Absinthe into the corner with one arm!
TAZZ: Yeah and she is already doing some damage.
Morganna puts Absinthe in a front facelock, knees her in the ribs, then drives a few clubbing forearms into her back. Absinthe shouts in pain and Morganna smiles before bodyslamming her. Absinthe is up quickly but Morganna stays on her with a few punches, then a knee. Morganna bodyslams Absinthe again, then chokes her on the middle ropes before driving her knee right into the back. Morganna pulls Absinthe up, punches her in the stomach, then sends her into the ropes. She goes for a tilt a whirl backbreaker but Absinthe flips out of it, lands on her feet behind Morganna and hits a dropkick to the back that sends her through the ropes.
STYLES: So far this has been all about power and brutality vs speed and technique.
This time Absinthe hits a baseball slide that sends Morganna backwards into the barricade. She then runs the ropes and hits a sommersault seated senton!
STYLES: OH MY GOD!
Absinthe quickly throws Morganna back in and hits a sommersault legdrop over the ropes. She hooks the leg….1……………………….2………………….shoulder up.
As Morganna tries to get up, Absinthe grabs her wrist, winds the arm up, hits three kicks to the ribs, then a hook kick to the face. 1……………………………..2…………………..kickout.
TAZZ: Well now Absinthe is doing damage. Those martial arts kicks will do a major number on Morganna and are a definite equalizer for Morganna’s power.
Morganna staggers back into a corner. Absinthe hits a spinning heel kick against the buckles, then drapes Morganna’s arms over the ropes. She hits three kicks to the body, then a step up kick to the face. Morganna falls to a sitting position and Absinthe hits a low dropkick to the chest! She drags her out and goes for a jackknife cover….1………….2………….kickout.
STYLES: That dropkick had to remind Morganna of having that chair skateboarded into her chest a few weeks ago on Smackdown!
Morganna gets up, but Absinthe winds up the arm again, then steps over it to apply more pressure, forcing Morganna to bend over forward. Morganna struggles to power out of the submission hold but she is bent over and unable to lift the champion. Absinthe then kicks back and up into Morganna’s face! Morganna stiffens up in shock and pain, enabling Absinthe to roll her up. 1………………..2…………..kickout. Morganna rolls out to the apron to get her bearings.
Absinthe jumps onto the top rope and hits a springboard dropkick that sends Morganna off to the floor again!
STYLES: Shades of Chris Jericho!
Morganna gets up looking dazed. Absinthe runs up the buckles and dives off for a crossbody on the floor but Morganna catches her in mid air! Absinthe has a look of shock on her face and Morganna rams her spine into the post, then drops her to the ground. Morganna looks down and smiles as Absinthe writhes in agony on the floor.
TAZZ: She went to the well once too often. Just like that the tide has turned.
Morganna breaks the count, then picks Absinthe up, rams her back into the apron, then the barricade, then into the apron again and throws her into the ring. She follows and shoves Absinthe into the ropes, driving a forearm to the back. She does it again, then gives her a backbreaker. 1…………………………2………………..kickout.
STYLES: The back and ribs will be the obvious target as I really think Morganna wants to win this with the Vampiric Embrace.
Morganna slams Absinthe, drops a knee to the ribs, then chokes her on the mat. She breaks on four, sends her into the ropes and hits a big time back body drop! Absinthe gets up holding her back and Morganna makes an attempt to get her in the Vampiric Embrace. Absinthe quickly twists away into the ropes and Morganna laughs.
TAZZ: Morganna seemed to enjoy that. I think in her mind that shows that Absinthe fears the Vampiric Embrace, and again in her mind I think that means she thinks that means she will be able to get the submission!
Absinthe takes a swing at Morganna, but she ducks and gets Absinthe in a full nelson!
STYLES: This is a hold that will really take advantage of Morganna’s height and strength advantage.
TAZZ: No doubt, Absinthe is going to have a hard time getting out of this one.
Absinthe struggles to free herself but Morganna lifts her off the ground and slams her down to a seated position with the hold still applied. Absinthe’s face shows she is in a lot of pain but she won’t give up. Morganna is now smiling arrogantly and taunting Absinthe.
STYLES: Do you think Morganna would be satisfied if she could win with this hold?
TAZZ: Yeah I think she’d love a submission win regardless of the hold but I think she’d prefer to get it with the Vampiric Embrace so that they are face to face if it does happen. I think Morganna wants to be able to look Absinthe in the eye and have her beg for mercy.
Morganna muscles Absinthe face down on the mat with the full nelson still applied. She continues to trash talk Absinthe while she has her down. Groaning with pain and effort, Absinthe is able to push herself up and gets back to a sitting position. She then somehow fires off a kick upwards, catching Morganna in the forehead! Morganna lets go with a look of shock on her face and puts her hands to her throbbing skull.
STYLES: Well she found a way out!
Absinthe hits a few quick kicks to the body, sends Morganna into the ropes and knocks her down with a spinning heel kick. 1………………………….2………………kickout.
TAZZ: And just like that the entire complexion of the match has shifted 180 degrees.
Morganna starts to get up only to hit with a running enziguri. 1…………………………2……………………..shoulder up!
Absinthe flips Morganna to the mat with a shoulder throw and applies a jujigatame!
TAZZ: This is a version of a crossarm breaker! Morganna might be the one who ends up begging for mercy here!
STYLES: And even if Morganna escapes the hold, this will help to negate her power.
Morganna actually screams in pain but won’t give up. She tries to stack Absinthe up for a pin but Absinthe is able to force her back down to the mat. Morganna kicks her legs out and gets to the ropes. The ref forces a break, but Absinthe doesn’t even let her up, kicking away at the chest as Morganna is in a seated position against the ropes.
STYLES: Now we are seeing that rare mean streak from Absinthe, a streak Morganna is particularly adept at bringing out!
Morganna gets to her feet only to receive knife edge chops to the chest. Absinthe goes to send Morganna into the ropes, Morganna reverses, but Absinthe leaps onto the middle rope and hits a springboard sidekick. 1……………………………2…………………….shoulder up!
STYLES: Absinthe is so hard to contend with because she is very intuitive. You can’t predict what she will do next because often she doesn’t even know what she’s going to do!
Absinthe again goes to send Morganna into the ropes, but this time Morganna pulls her back, lifts her up and drops her on the ropes stomach first!
TAZZ: Whoa what a counter! That was just raw power!
Morganna repeatedly knees Absinthe in the ribs, then gives her a gutbuster. 1……………………….2…………………shoulder up!
STYLES: Now Morganna will again focus on the ribs and back. There is a method to her madness.
Morganna backs Absinthe up against the ropes and repeatedly punches her in the stomach. She then whips the champion into the opposite ropes and buries a knee to the midsection, causing Absinthe to flip over her knee onto the mat. Absinthe sits up holding her stomach and gasping. Morganna applies a bodyscissor, sitting behind Absinthe and wrapping her long legs around her. Absinthe gasps in pain and Morganna smiles cruelly.
TAZZ: You know we often forget that Morganna has a lot of leg strength too. Again this is pressure on those ribs and it will prevent Absinthe from breathing properly so even if she gets out it will affect her later in the match.
Morganna gives a good squeeze and Absinthe shouts in pain. She tries to pry Morganna’s legs apart, but Morganna grabs both arms from behind and gives another squeeze with the bodyscissor.
STYLES: This could be a potential submission hold right here Tazz.
TAZZ: No doubt about it, Absinthe is a long way from the ropes so I don’t know how she’s going to get out.
As she applies pressure, Morganna goes back to taunting. “This is just a setup Abby…you know what’s coming don’t you? You know I’m going to put you in the Vampiric Embrace and this time I won’t let go until you beg for mercy and admit I’m better.” Absinthe doesn’t respond and instead focuses on an escape, but her struggles seem futile at this point. “In case you forgot…here’s a taste of what it’s going to feel like!” Morganna squeezes hard, making Absinthe scream in pain. Morganna actually laughs evilly. Absinthe leans back into the hold, then crosses her feet over one of Morganna’s ankles, applying downward pressure. Morganna screams in pain and immediately lets go of the arms and the body scissor. Morganna holds her head as she tries to withstand the intense pressure on her ankle!
TAZZ: That’s another martial arts move there. Morganna is now the one in danger of having to tap out!
Morganna furiously punches away to get free. Limping sliughtly, she goes for a press slam, but Absinthe twists out of it into a flying headscisssor takedown. Morganna gets up but looks dazed.
STYLES: What a spectacular counter to the press slam!
Absinthe goes for a thrust kick but Morganna catches her foot. Absinthe counters with an enziguri! 1…………………………..2………………….shoulder up. Morganna gets to her knees…Magistral Cradle. 1…………………2……………..kickout. Absinthe goes for a crossbody, Morganna catches her and tries for a bodyslam, but Absinthe counters it into a small package! 1………………2……………..kickout.
TAZZ: That was awesome.
Absinthe goes to apply the Wormwood Stretch but Morganna rolls quickly to the ropes before she can lock it in. Now it’s Absinthe who stands up, smiles and gestures that she was “this close” to getting it locked in.
STYLES: Another message was just sent there.
Absinthe kicks Morganna in the ribs, then goes to send her into the ropes but Morganna counters it into a tilt a whirl backbreaker. 1………………….2……………………shoulder up.
TAZZ: That’s one of Morganna’s favorite moves and it definitely turned the tide here.
Morganna Irish whips Absinthe so hard she flies out of the corner and lands face down. Morganna stomps on her back, then grabs her by the throat, lifts her up into the air and chokes her until the count of four before slamming her back to the mat.
STYLES: That was a frightening example of Morganna’s strength and ferocity.
TAZZ: Not to mention hatred.
Absinthe tries to stand but Morganna gives her a back suplex and covers for a two count. Morganna Irish whips Absinthe and tries to follow her in with a corner clothesline, but Absinthe kicks her in the chest. Absinthe leaps up to the second rope and goes for a flying tackle but Morganna catches her in midair with the Vampiric Embrace! Absinthe has a look of shock and pain on her face.
TAZZ: She’s got it!
Absinthe shouts in pain as Morganna quickly shakes her, then moves to the middle of the ring to squeeze the life out of her. Morganna is actually smiling now as she squeezes Absinthe.
STYLES: Morganna has her where she wants her now. If possible she’ll just squeeze until Absinthe is finished!
Absinthe refuses to give up while Morganna begins taunting and insisting she give up. “Don’t drag this out Abby, it’s just destiny that you beg…why do you think you keep ending up in this position!?”
STYLES: It’s not destiny it’s the fact that you are obsessed with winning this way!
TAZZ: Easy Joey.
Morganna gives another hard squeeze and Absinthe screams in pain but refuses to give up. Morganna taunts her continuously, saying, “As much as I enjoy making you suffer, don’t try my patience. If you just beg now I’ll let go right away but if you make me wait, I’ll hold on to you until I get bored! You’ll be crying like a baby before I let go!” Groaning in pain the entire time, Absinthe pushes up a bit on Morganna’s arms. Ignoring the constant verbal abuse, she gets herself up high enough for her planned escape, then hits a double chop to the neck. The hold is loosened as Morganna gasps in shock and pain, enabling Absinthe to slip up and out of the hold. As before, she stands on Morganna’s shoulders.
STYLES: We’ve seen this before…how embarrassing for Morganna!
Instead of just jumping off to safety, Absinthe flips backwards and executes a hurricanrana!
1…………………………………..2………………………..
Shoulder up!
TAZZ: This match is off the page Joey!
Absinthe knocks Morganna down with a roundhouse kick and hits a standing moonsault. 1…………………………2…………..shoulder up. She winds up the arm and hits a thrust kick to knock Morganna down, then hits the Split Legged Moonsault! 1…………………………………….2………………………….
Shoulder up! Absinthe tugs at her own hair in frustration.
STYLES: I may not like Morganna or her recent actions but I have to admit I’m impressed by her threshold for pain! Absinthe used that move as a finisher on the independent scene but Morganna was still able to kick out convincingly.
Absinthe goes for A Taste of Absinthe, but Morganna ducks and she crashes to the mat.
TAZZ: Hey Morganna obviously did her homework. It’s not often the opponent even has a clue that move is coming.
Morganna hits a spinebuster. 1……………………2…………………..kickout.
TAZZ: Absinthe is showing a lot of grit too. Both of these women are so determined to win.
Absinthe tries to get up but Morganna kicks her back down and hits a legdrop. 1…………….2……………kickout. Morganna measures Absinthe and puts her in a modified sleeper, using Absinthe’s own arm to try and choke her out.
TAZZ: That’s like a cross between a cobra clutch and a normal sleeper. With Morganna’s strength it’s pretty effective whatever you call it.
Absinthe quickly starts to elbow free with her other arm, but Morganna knees her in the back and then clotheslines her in the back of the neck. 1……………..2………….kickout. Morganna kneels on Absinthe’s throat, choking her until the four count.
STYLES: When the pace slows down like this Morganna becomes totally dominant.
Morganna press slams Absinthe! 1……………………….2……………………..shoulder up! She pulls Absinthe up by the hair and gives her a second press slam! 1……………………………………………2……………………………..shoulder up.
TAZZ: Morganna is able to do that so easily that it makes Absinthe look weightless.
Morganna pulls her up and presses her overhead again.
STYLES: She’s looking for a hat trick…
Instead, with a shriek of rage, Morganna throws Absinthe over the ropes to the floor!
STYLES: OH MY GOD!
Morganna follows Absinthe to ringside. The champion is trying to get up but she’s hurt, holding both her ribs and back. Morganna throws her backwards into the barricade, then bodyslams her on the floor. Smiling evilly, she picks Absinthe up in a bearhug position and rams her back into the post. Morganna throws her into the ring, then goes to the top rope.
TAZZ: She’s looking for that Kane style flying clothesline.
Morganna goes for it but Absinthe jumps up and dropkicks her in midair!
Morganna hits the mat hard and rolls out of the ring while Absinthe stays down in the ring trying to recover.
STYLES: I don’t think Morganna did that to get away I think it was just a combination of impact and momentum!
The champion is able to stand while the challenger holds her chest on the floor, trying to catch her breath after having the wind knocked out of her. Absinthe waits for Morganna to get up, runs the ropes and hits a Corkscrew plancha.
STYLES: OH MY GOD!
TAZZ: How bad does she want to win this match to still pull off moves like that after the punishment she’s taken here?
Holding her ribs, Absinthe throws Morganna back in and goes to the top. When Morganna stands up she hits a flying kick to the face.
TAZZ: Shades of RVD!
1…………………………………..2………………………..shoulder up. Morganna rolls to her stomach, but Absinthe quickly locks in the Wormwood Stretch!
STYLES: SHE HAS IT LOCKED IN!
TAZZ: Earlier we saw Morganna apply the Vampiric Embrace. Now Absinthe has her trademark submission hold locked in.
Morganna screams in pain and claws desperately at Absinthe’s legs to break the headscissor portion of the hold. Absinthe arches her own body, putting tremendous pressure on both the headscissor and the armbar. Morganna still refuses to give up but she is thrashing desperately. She is able to reach out with her leg and get a foot on the rope. The ref breaks the hold.
STYLES: Morganna is free but how much damage was done?
Morganna is crawling to a corner, cradling her arm.
TAZZ: It’s natural instinct to put a hand down and use your arms to help you get up. Morganna may not be able to do that now, something could be dislocated or even fractured.
Absinthe advances on Morganna, who is still on her hands and knees. Absinthe is shouting at Morganna “This is the fight you wanted, so get up and fight!” The ref tries to get her to back off so he can check and see if Morganna is injured but Absinthe won’t listen. When she gets close enough, Morganna grabs Absinthe and pulls forward, sending her face first into the turnbuckles.
TAZZ: Both of these women are so determined to win. Just when you think one of them is spent she finds some counter to turn the tide.
As Absinthe gets to her knees Morganna hits the Unlucky Charm!
STYLES: IT’S OVER!
1……………………..2………………………..
2.999………………….
SHOULDER UP!
Morganna looks shocked and slumps to the mat beside Absinthe.
TAZZ: That expression tells a story, now Morganna would be satisfied with a pinfall victory. She wanted to just end this match there.
Morganna pulls her up by the hair and again tries to put her in the Vampiric Embrace…but before she can lift her up, Absinthe hits a few chops the insertion of the shoulder.
STYLES: That’s the same shoulder that she was ripping at with the Wormwood Stretch! I think she has successfully negated that hold!
Morganna drives Absinthe back first into the turnbuckles in anger. Absinthe falls to her hands and knees in pain. Morganna backs up and measures her as the crowd boos, then shouts “DEVESTASIA!”
TAZZ: If she hits this it’s all over!
She goes for it, but Absinthe throws herself onto her back and kicks Morganna’s other foot out from under her! Morganna lands right on the back of her head! Absinthe dives into a cover. 1……………………….2………………….shoulder up. Morganna gets up using the ropes. Absinthe hits a few kicks to the body, then a spinning jump kick that sends Morganna over the ropes to the floor!
TAZZ: These two women are just beating the hell out of each other.
Absinthe rolls out after Morganna and gets her stomach down on the barrier, stunning her with a few punches to keep her in position. She then jumps up onto the apron and dives off with a splash onto Morganna’s back, driving her ribs into the barrier!
STYLES: A modification of one of Rob Van Dam’s moves and used to great effect here.
Thrashing in pain as soon as she falls off the barrier to the floor, Morganna gets back in the ring, holding her midsection in agony. Absinthe follows. She waits for Morganna to turn around and puts her in a bearhug!
TAZZ: What?
Absinthe shouts, “HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?” and squeezes hard enough to make Morganna shout in pain, a look of shock on her face.
STYLES: I don’t think Absinthe expects to win here, I think she is just showing Morganna what this feels like after all the times Morganna has done it to her!
Furious at having her own hold used against her, Morganna pounds free and knocks Absinthe down with a straight boot to the face. 1……………2………..kickout. Morganna Irish whips Absinthe into a corner, hits the corner clothesline and follows it up with a sidewalk slam! 1………………………2…………………..kickout. Morganna goes to the top rope and this time hits the Kane like flying clothesline. She hooks the leg. 1………………………..2………………..
Shoulder up!
With an animalistic snarl, Morganna goes for the chokeslam, but Absinthe kicks free before she can even try to lift her off the ground. Morganna knees her and goes for an Irish whip but Absinthe runs up the buckles and hits the Green Devil!
STYLES: That has to be it!
Absinthe rolls onto Morganna and hooks the leg.
1……………………
2…………………….
2.9999……………
SHOULDER UP!
Absinthe looks down at Morganna in disbelief.
TAZZ: Absinthe thought she had this match won and so did I! These two women are so determined not to lose to the other that they are pushing themselves beyond the limits of human endurance here!
Absinthe shouts at Morganna to get up, but she is down and barely moving. Wanting to go for A Taste of Absinthe, Absinthe grabs her by the hair and tries to get her on her feet, but Morganna can’t stand!
TAZZ: That may have been an instinctive kickout or maybe a last gasp. Morganna doesn’t know if she is Morganna, Devestasia or Jan Brady right now.
Frustrated, Absinthe goes for a split legged moonsault to try and end the match, but Morganna raises her knees! Absinthe rolls around holding her midsection in pain and Morganna uses the ropes to try and pull herself up. Absinthe actually gets to her feet first and stumbles over…but Morganna gets behind her and hits the Tear Drop Suplex!
STYLES: That could do it Tazz! I don’t think Absinthe can possible have enough left now to kick out!
Morganna drapes an arm on her rival’s chest. 1………………………2…………………..
2.9999………………………..
SHOULDER UP!
Morganna looks at the ref in disbelief and pounds the mat, looking like she will cry from frustration (as well as the constant Absinthe and “Crow Ho” chants). Absinthe pulls herself up with the ropes. Now the ref is checking to see if Absinthe is injured. After shoving the ref aside, Morganna advances on her but Absinthe hits a back kick to the stomach and she backs off. Absinthe is still leaning on the ropes. Morganna moves in but this time gets kicked in the face! She staggers back, then moves in but Absinthe sweeps her feet. She falls face down and Absinthe gets the headscissor on again. Morganna is fighting desperately to block the armbar portion of the Wormwood Stretch.
TAZZ: Morganna is fighting for all she’s worth to stay out of this.
Finally Absinthe is able to get it on and Morganna is screaming in agony. Absinthe shouts at her to tap out. Morganna shouts “NOOOO” but it sounds like she is on the verge of crying now.
STYLES: We are mere seconds away from the end.
Morganna lets out a shriek that sounds like a completely different voice and pushes up, trying to roll Absinthe into an awkward pinning predicament. Absinthe blocks it but is finding herself in an awkward position as well and is forced to release the hold.
TAZZ: She was able to counter out of that Wormwood Stretch! What a match.
Morganna tries to stand up, shaking awkwardly. Absinthe goes for A Taste of Absinthe again, but this time Morganna catches her in midair and awkwardly throws her backwards into the turnbuckles!
STYLES: I don’t think Morganna was even looking for a move there, she just wanted to avoid A Taste of Absinthe but it paid off!
Absinthe is down holding her back in the corner. The ref again goes to check on her. Morganna is leaning on the ropes, growling and mumbling to herself as she wills herself to go on. She is finally able to stand on her own and has a demented look on her face. Morganna shoves the ref aside and pummels Absinthe in the corner with a barrage of punches to the body that are actually lifting her off the mat. Morganna then repeatedly drives her shoulder into Absinthe’s stomach before choking her on the ropes until a four count. She grabs Absinthe by the hair, runs her across the ring and throws her head first over the buckles into the post!
STYLES: Oh my God.
Cradling her aching arm, Morganna wills herself not to feel the pain. As Absinthe stumbles out of the corner, she falls right into Morganna’s waiting arms.
TAZZ: She has the Vampiric Embrace locked in again.
Absinthe cries out in pain and Morganna shouts at the top of her lungs as she squeezes with every once of strength she has left.
STYLES: I don’t know if Absinthe has the wherewithal left to get out of this!
TAZZZ: Morganna certainly hopes she doesn’t. I think Morganna needs to win with the hold now. Her body has been punished so much that she may not be able to execute her other finishing moves!
Morganna has her head ducked in close to Absinthe to avoid a double chop, but Absinthe seems to be too out of it to even try it and only paws desperately at Morganna.
TAZZ: If that’s all Absinthe has left I don’t think she’s getting out of this.
Absinthe is now soaked in sweat, her hair plastered to her head. Morganna’s pale skin is shiny from her own sweat and her hair is drenched. Morganna by now is so frustrated she shouts, “Please just give up!”
Absinthe now looks like she is the one who might be on the verge of crying but she still refuses to give up. She hits a few punches but Morganna is holding on as if her life depends on it and Absinthe’s efforts to escape are slowing.
STYLES: I don’t think there was much behind those punches.
TAZZ: Yeah and Morganna has this on tight. Her arms are perfectly positioned for maximum pressure on the ribs and the back, and there is no space between their bodies which means Absinthe can’t expand her chest to get a proper breath of air. I think this is going to be it.
With her mouth hanging open and her eyes glazing over, Absinthe looks like she might be going out. After another fifteen seconds or so of merciless squeezing, her eyes close and her head droops forward against Morganna’s shoulder. The ref tries the arm and now Morganna is not insisting on a verbal submission.
STYLES: When she carried out that sickening assault, Morganna shook Absinthe to wake her up when it looked like she might pass out because she wanted to make her beg. Now she would be content if that arm dropped three times.
The ref tries Absinthe’s arm. It drops once…twice…but she holds it up the third time. Morganna shakes her head in frustration and keeps the pressure on.
TAZZ: There’s still some fight left in Absinthe.
Absinthe begins to try and push Morganna’s head back. Morganna gives another squeeze and Absinthe makes small pained noises that actually seem to give Morganna renewed energy. She even resumes trash talking and says, “That’s it…whimper. You’re not getting out this time. You’re done, I can feel it. After you submit, I’m going to make you beg into the microphone…but that won’t be good enough now, then I’m going to make you admit I’m better…then you’ll tell all these people you’re the one who started this not me. I’ll keep squeezing the entire time but I’ll let go as soon as you say it. But you need to submit before that happens so do it now.”
Absinthe shakes her head “no”, then closes her eyes and clenches one fist.
STYLES: What is she doing!?
She lets out a yell and somehow musters the strength for a double chop to the neck. Morganna lets go of the hold and falls to the mat, and Absinthe falls back into the ropes.
TAZZ: Both of these women are putting on a great match here, but the crowd is almost completely behind the champion. I don’t think there’s any way Morganna can make her give up with most of a crowd of over 70,000 people chanting Absinthe’s name.
Absinthe pulls herself up using the ropes. She tries to rush forward for a Taste of Absinthe but her back is too sore and she stops. Morganna kicks her and throws her over the ropes to buy herself some time, but Absinthe holds on and skins the cat. Morganna sees it and heads over, but Absinthe catches her with a headscissor.
STYLES: I think Absinthe is going to try to flip Morganna to the floor.
Morganna blocks it and overpowers Absinthe, pulling her right off the ropes and getting her up to try a TOMBSTONE!
TAZZ: She is trying to pay tribute to Kane here but the Big Red Machine may not appreciate it!
Absinthe struggles and hits Morganna’s injured arm. Morganna lets go with a scream and Absinthe slips down behind her. Morganna turns…Absinthe kicks her and hits a STONE COLD STUNNER!
STYLES: WHAT!??? ABSINTHE USED THE STONE COLD STUNNER!
Absinthe hooks both legs and pulls them up as far as she can.
1…………………..
2…………………..
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND STILL WWE WOMEN’S CHAMPION: ABSINTHE!
TAZZ: She did it! She beat Morganna!
STYLES: How insane is Morganna going to be now? This could push her right over the edge!
Absinthe rolls off and lies on her side with an exhausted smile as the ref hands her the women’s title belt. Morganna slowly sits up beside her, rubs her chin and looks around in disbelief as she hears “Devils” playing and realizes Absinthe has won the match.
TAZZ: Oh no I don’t think we even want to see this reaction.
The crowd is giving the match a standing ovation. Absinthe pulls herself up using the ropes and just takes in the moment.
STYLES: This is a moment Absinthe has probably dreamed of since she was a little girl and now she gets to live it.
Morganna looks around at the crowd and is yelling at them to stop. Absinthe sees her reaction and then gestures for a microphone.
ABSINTHE: Morganna, this reaction isn’t just for me. They’re giving US a standing ovation for that match!
Morganna doesn’t answer her.
ABSINTHE: Look, this match could have gone either way. Another second or two here or there and our roles could be reversed. I know how good you are and I don’t think I’m better than you are. You can even say we’re even, we each won a tag, and you did pin me when we sparred. You wanted to get people to embrace you again and you wanted things to be back to normal with Kane. How much prouder could he be if we tore down the house at Wrestlemania and then shook hands?
Morganna takes a step forward. She looks around, then reluctantly shakes Absinthe’s hand and raises it!
STYLES: Is there something wrong with my eyes Tazz?
TAZZ: I hate to spoil a moment like this but if I was Absinthe I’d be on my guard here just in case…
Instead Morganna turns and leaves the ring.
STYLES: Well I’ll be. I guess Wrestlemania can bring out the best in people…
ABSINTHE: Hey, Morganna…for what it’s worth I hope the right man wins tonight.
Morganna doesn’t look back. Absinthe turns away and climbs up on the ropes with her title belt to celebrate her victory.
TAZZ: A year ago Absinthe made her first WWE appearance carrying a snake for Cindryn after toiling on the indy scene. Tonight she gets a standing ovation with a win at Wrestlemania and even buries the hatchet with her biggest rival.
She goes to each corner and as she goes to the last one, notices the replay of the Stunner on the Titantron. She makes sure the camera is on her and holds up three fingers…then ten…then six.
STYLES: 3:16…a little thanks to Stone Cold for teaching her the Stunner.
The scene cuts to the Gorilla Position behind the curtain where Stone Cold is watching. He nods his head with a bit of a smile and then walks off.
Absinthe finally leaves the ring, looking around at the cheering crowd in awe all the way to the stage. There she turns around one last time to hold up the title belt.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: GANGREL VS THE GIANT
A quick video package shows the Giant issuing a challenge to Gangrel, running through the list of title holders and stating that he wanted to challenge Gangrel since he had never been Intercontinental champion and he felt Gangrel had had the belt long enough. The challenge was accepted by Gangrel, and the Giant said he would destroy him-not because it was personal but because he destroys everyone who stands in his way. The Bloodline as a whole vowed to take the offensive, and on Saturday Night’s Main Event with new members Kiara and Billy Blade, they surrounded the ring as the Giant was facing Edge. Gangrel spit blood in the Giant’s eyes, then he and Billy attacked the World’s Largest Athlete while Kevin Thorn was brawling with his two challengers Edge and Randy Orton. In the end the Giant was the victim of a bloodbath. Gangrel again stated that he did not fear the Giant, that he was now the aggressor and that he intended to prove himself to the world by overcoming his biggest obstacle to date. The Giant’s response was to totally decimate both Funaki for trying to get an interview as well an opponent on Superstars. The Giant even ripped out two of his opponent’s teeth, symbolic of his intent to de-fang Gangrel. Even the officials who tried to stop the onslaught weren’t safe. Will Gangrel end up paying the price for the bloodbath? Will the Giant de-fang him or will Gangrel overcome this huge obstacle?
JR: This started as just a match when the Giant requested a shot at the Intercontinental title, but it turned personal on Saturday Night’s Main Event when the Giant was attacked by Gangrel and his protégé the Lost Boy Billy Blade, ending up a recipient of the bloodbath!
JBL: After the way the Giant destroyed his last opponent I wouldn’t want to be in Gangrel’s shoes. I think my former Ministry teammate made a big mistake!
FINK: This contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the WWE Intercontinental championship! Introducing first, the challenger, standing over seven feet tall and weighing 441 pounds, THE GIANT!
Giant marches down to the ring looking angry.
JBL: That is not a look you want to see on the Giant’s face if he’s your opponent!
Giant steps over the ropes and does the signal for a chokeslam as pyro goes off.
FINK: And his opponent, representing the Bloodline, weighing 250 pounds, co holder of the WWE tag team championship and the WWE Intercontinental champion, GANGREL!
Gangrel rises up from a ring of fire on the stage with Kiara, Christine, Amanda and Billy Blade.
JR: That is certainly an eerie sight.
Gangrel leads the way to the ring while the Giant glares angrily at him. Gangrel climbs the steps, turns and begins to drink blood from the goblet…but the Giant runs up and hits him from behind, sending him flying off the steps with blood flying everywhere!
JBL: The Giant isn’t even going to wait for Gangrel to get in the ring!
Giant gets out and decks Blade, then chases the three vampiresses. Gangrel is trying to get up and take off his title belts. Giant headbutts him, then rams his face into the steps! Gangrel goes down with a very strange look in his eyes. Blade picks up a chair, but the ref sees it, steps between him and the Giant and orders him to the back!
JR: The referee didn’t even wait for Billy Blade to get involved in this match!
As Blade protests and storms to the back, Giant lifts Gangrel overhead and drops him chest first on the barricade. Giant picks up the top half of the steps to try and ram them into Gangrel, but he kicks the Giant in the leg and he falls, his face hitting the steps!
JBL: Giant almost cost himself this match by going overboard. He could have gotten disqualified.
JR: Maybe Gangrel’s strategy with the bloodbath will be effective in that case as long as he can weather the storm.
Gangrel unloads with a barrage of punches to the Giant, but Giant shoves him backwards over the bottom half of the steps. The Giant follows up with a headbutt, then throws Gangrel in the ring.
JR: Giant wants this in the ring. As angry as he is he doesn’t want to forget that this match came about because he wants the title Gangrel currently holds.
The bell rings to signal the official start of the match.
Gangrel rushes up and hits some body blows but Giant grabs him and drops him with a headbutt. Giant pulls Gangrel up and hits a bodyslam! Gangrel groans in pain and holds his back. The Giant pulls him up and drives an elbow into the back of his neck. Gangrel falls back against the ropes. Giant whips him into the ropes and sends him high into the air with a giant sized back body drop.
JBL: Gangrel was almost sent right out of this stadium with that one!
Gangrel holds his back in pain and tries to get up. Giant grabs him by the back of his shirt and launches him into a corner. He moves in and mauls Gangrel with fierce body shots.
JR: Right now the Giant is living up to his vow to destroy Gangrel. This match may not last long at this rate.
As the three vampire ladies look on in concern, Giant hits a reverse elbow, several kicks to the stomach and a frying pan chop. Gangrel’s eyes bug out as he clutches his chest and slumps down.
JBL: Looking at those ladies at ringside I have to wonder the same thing Edge did…how does Gangrel get these women? Like Edge said he didn’t pick up like that in the days of the Brood!
JR: Well let’s not forget at that point in time Gangrel was married to Luna Vachon. But right now that is totally irrelevant.
Giant Irish whips Gangrel with tremendous velocity. Giant charges in but Gangrel dropkicks his knee and Giant’s head slams into the turnbuckle!
JBL: I think Giant’s overzealousness cost him again. This is a risky strategy for Gangrel but maybe it will work.
Gangrel unleashes a barrage of vicious kicks to the ribs, then backs up and runs in with a spinning elbow smash to the face. Giant shoves him back and stumbles forward only to get a clothesline that staggers him. Gangrel runs the ropes and hits a discus clothesline that staggers Giant. He runs the ropes again and hits another.
JR: These high impact shots are taking a toll even though the Giant is still standing.
JBL: I like the way Gangrel is using the ropes to build momentum. He is using his brain.
Gangrel again hits the ropes and this time hits a flying reverse elbow. Giant is still on his feet! Gangrel fires off a few kicks to the leg, then runs the ropes again but this time Giant lunges forward and runs over him with a huge clothesline!
JR: Gangrel has to get this man off his feet if he has any hope of beating him!
Giant shakes his head a bit, then pulls Gangrel up, headbutts him, then gives him a vertical suplex! Gangrel starts to sit up holding his back but Giant forces him down for a pin. 1……………..2……………..kickout. Giant Irish whips Gangrel with such velocity that he flies out of the corner and lands on his back!
JBL: Even a simple Irish whip can be match altering when it is executed by the Giant!
Giant stands on Gangrel’s chest! The gothic one’s eyes bulge again and he is kicking frantically to try and get Giant off. When Giant steps off, Gangrel rolls to his stomach…and Giant walks across his back! Amanda covers her mouth in horror, Christine is cursing the Giant and Kiara is trying to encourage Gangrel.
JR: We figured going into the match that the Implant DDT and the plethora of suplexes Gangrel is known for would be taken away from him by the sheer size of his opponent. That is even more the case with the punishment his back is taking.
JBL: His ability to get up may have been taken away JR, never mind the suplexes and the Implant DDT!
Giant pulls Gangrel up and hits a huge back suplex. 1………………………2…………………..shoulder up.
Gangrel struggles to his feet only to be put in the world’s largest abdominal stretch.
JBL: Usually an abdominal stretch pulls at your abdominal muscles. When the Giant does it, it feels like your rib cage is being ripped right out!
Amanda, Christina and Kiara are all drumming their hands on the apron to encourage Gangrel. Gangrel doesn’t give up and uses his free arm to drive elbows into the upper thigh of the Giant. Giant finally knocks him down with a forearm shot in anger. Gangrel gets up and Giant hits a chop that sends him right over the ropes to the floor among his females.
JR: My God the Giant just backhanded a 250 pound man right over the ropes!
Giant steps out, causing the women to scatter. He picks Gangrel up on his shoulder but the champion slips down behind and shoves him face first into the post!
JBL: That’ll slow anyone down.
Gangrel lands a few kicks to the ribs, then backs up and hits a crossbody to the back that drives Giant’s face into the post again. Gangrel rolls back into the ring. Giant starts coming through the ropes and Gangrel gets on the second turnbuckle, hitting a flying elbow to the back of the neck! Giant is wobbly but still on his feet!
JR: Often times you see a man in Gangrel’s position make the mistake of thinking he can lift or suplex the Giant when their adrenaline starts pumping but Gangrel has not made that mistake. He has not even made an effort to go for a single suplex.
Gangrel hits a high leg lariat and the Giant still won’t go down! All three women are shouting encouragement to him.
JBL: Gangrel can win this match if he can get the Giant down, but so far he has hit him with every ounce of force he can build up and the monster is still standing!
Gangrel finally goes to the top rope. Giant staggers towards him and Gangrel comes off with a flying clothesline! Giant finally goes down! The three vampiresses are jumping around gleefully.
1…………………..2…………………Giant throws him off!
JR: He finally got him down but he needs to keep him down now!
Gangrel hits a low dropkick as Giant tries to rise up off the mat. He then hits a corkscrew elbow…and a second…a third…..a fourth….a fifth!
JBL: Five corkscrew elbows! That could do it!
Gangrel goes for the pin. 1……………………2…………….Giant sends him flying with his kickout. Gangrel looks around in frustration, then swarms Giant as he gets to his knees with kicks and punches…then a short barrel DDT.
1…………………………….2…………………
Kickout!
JR: I have to admire the ingenuity and adaptability of Gangrel here but so far it hasn’t got the job done.
Gangrel goes to the top rope as Giant gets up and comes off with a double axehandle between the eyes. Giant wobbles but stays standing. Gangrel decides to try a Russian Leg sweep but Giant throws him backwards into a corner.
JBL: Gangrel finally made a mistake.
Giant goes for an avalanche but Gangrel moves and he hits the buckles with his chest. Gangrel hooks both of his arms…
JR: He can’t possibly be thinking of going for that armtrap overhead suplex of his!
Gangrel climbs up on the middle rope with the arms trapped, then jumps off and to the side, using the momentum to flip the Giant over to the mat!
JBL: BY BRADSHAW THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST INVENTIVE THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN A MATCH!
Gangrel makes the cover!
1………………….
2……………………….
Giant gets his shoulder up! Gangrel slaps the mat and shows his fangs in frustration.
As Giant tries to get to his hands and knees, Gangrel jumps on his back and applies a sleeperhold. The weight and sudden pressure drives Giant down to the mat face down. The vampiresses are all leaning forward intently.
JBL: This is a smart move. Giant has to be dazed and Gangrel definitely knows how to apply this hold properly, he was trained by the Malenkos and the Harts.
JR: It doesn’t matter how big a man is if you cut off the flow of blood to the brain he will go out.
Giant is trying to push up but Gangrel shakes his head viciously and forces him back down. The Giant’s face is turning beet red and he is fading. The ref tries the arm.
It drops once.
Twice…..
He holds it up the third time and Gangrel’s eyes bug out again from rage. Giant begins to try to struggle to his feet. He eventually makes it, with Gangrel up on his back, but the hold is still applied and his knees are beginning to shake.
JBL: When you see the leg shake like that it means the man is in danger of losing consciousness. He has a very narrow window of opportunity to get out of this hold.
Giant begins to go back down.
But with a sudden burst of energy he stands up and drives Gangrel back into the corner, squashing him and breaking the hold!
JR: And once again the tide his turned completely in this match!
Giant leans back on Gangrel in the corner and hits a few butt bumps to the midsection.
JBL: This reminds me of Andre the Giant, he used to just lean all his weight back and drives his backside into an opponent’s gut to drive all the air out of him.
Gangrel slumps down to a seated position and the Giant sits on his chest!
JR: Only the Giant could sit down on the job and still be winning a championship match.
Giant gets off him and biels him across the ring. Gangrel slowly gets up, Giant doubles him over into a powerbomb position and gives him the Alleyoop!
JBL: That could do it right there!
1……………………………..2…………………………………..
Shoulder up!
Giant pulls Gangrel to his feet and gives him the Stepover Legdrop! 1…………………………………………2………………………………
2.9999…………………….
SHOULDER UP AGAIN!
Giant climbs up to the second rope facing the crowd.
JR: The Giant is looking for a Vader Bomb. If he hits this it’s academic!
He goes for the Vader Bomb but Gangrel rolls out of the ring! Giant lands hard and knocks the wind out of himself!
JBL: Gangrel didn’t just turn the tide, he saved his life there!
Gangrel climbs up to the top as Giant stands up and goes for another double axehandle but gets caught in midair. Giant slams him back against the turnbuckles. He then lands a few frying pan chops to the chest and then a headbutt that sends Gangrel through the ropes to the floor.
Giant follows. Gangrel is getting up but looking dazed. Giant goes for a knockout punch but Gangrel ducks and he punches the post!
JR: Oh my God he might have broken his hand!
JBL: The Giant’s temper cost him again JR!
Giant shouts in pain and holds his now injured hand. Gangrel grabs his wrist and slams the hand into the steps! Giant bellows in pain again and Gangrel rams the back of his hand into the post!
JBL: Never let it be said Gangrel doesn’t have a mean streak in him!
Gangrel goes back in to break the count. Giant tries to come in but Gangrel stomps on his hand! From his knees the Giant hits Gangrel in the gut, then headbutts him in the face! Gangrel falls and rolls away to the ropes to try and get up.
Both men get up, but Giant catches Gangrel with a boot. He then goes for the Cobra clutch but with his injured hand he can’t apply it properly and Gangrel elbows free.
JBL: The injury comes into play!
Gangrel goes for a discus clothesline but Giant catches him by the throat!
JR: Giant is thinking chokeslam here! If he hits it this match is over!
Giant goes for the chokeslam but Gangrel counters in midair with a DDT!
JBL: All of the Giant’s weight came right down on his head and neck!
1…………………………………2……………………………..
2.99999…………………………………………….
Giant gets the shoulder up! Gangrel looks around in disbelief!
As Giant tries to get up, Gangrel hooks the head, looking to go for another big DDT. Giant lifts him up and throws him over the ropes to the floor in front of the announce table!
JR: I THOUGH GANGREL WAS GOING TO LAND RIGHT ON US!
Giant sees the IC champ is down and hurt and steps over the ropes, chasing off the three vampiresses as they come to see if Gangrel is ok. The Giant backs Gangrel up against the apron and reaches into his mouth…
JBL: He’s going to try and de-fang him just like he did to that poor bastard on Superstars!
Gangrel struggles frantically and kicks Giant between the legs. Giant doubles over in pain but then clocks Gangrel with a huge punch to the side of the head! Giant shakes his hand in pain.
JR: That could be a knock out shot!!!
JBL: Yeah but he used that injured hand, instinctively he threw that punch with his usual hand!
Giant picks Gangrel up and grabs him by the throat.
JR: No not on the floor!
Giant lifts him up for the chokeslam, but Gangrel grabs the ring rope, gets his feet on the apron, then kicks off…hitting a huge DDT on the floor!
JR: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!
JBL: Those mats are utterly useless when a man’s head is driven into the floor with that kind of force!
JR: Gangrel is hurt too!
Both men are down and the ref begins to count. 1…..2….3…..4……5…..Gangrel gets up…..6…..
Gangrel is trying desperately to get Giant up so he can put him in the ring.
JBL: Gangrel is trying to get the Giant in the ring for a pin but he can’t get that huge body up off the floor!
7………..8………
Gangrel rolls in to beat the count, giving up on getting Giant into the ring.
9…………………10
HERE IS YOUR WINNER AS A RESULT OF A COUNT OUT AND STILL INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION GANGREL
JBL: Ordinarily I’d say a count out is a cheap way to win but Gangrel was trying to get the Giant back in the ring. He was just too big to be moved!
Gangrel leans on the ropes smiling in exhaustion as Kiara gets the title belts for him and Amanda and Christine get in the ring to support him.
JR: Even though he didn’t technically win by pinfall this is the biggest win of Gangrel’s career! I didn’t think he could get it done!
Gangrel raises both of his title belts and then rolls out of the ring. The Bloodline members head up the aisle as Giant gets up, shaking his head and trying to regain his bearings.
Gangrel and company stop on the stage. They turn back to face the ring and the ring of fire surrounds them. Gangrel raises the Interncontinental belt over his head as they descend back down into the ring of fire…
JBL: What a moment…and there are still plenty more to come!
LEGENDS OF WRESTLEMANIA TWELVE MAN TAG
HISTORY OF LEGENDARY FEUDS
One would need a scorecard to keep track of all the conflicts in the Legends of Wrestlemania 12 man tag. Here’s yours.
BETWEEN THE TEAMS:
Although they have never openly feuded there was always been questions about a confrontation between Hulk Hogan and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin once mocked Hogan during his ECW days and wrestling fans have always wondered who would win.
Psycho Sid and Stone Cold Steve Austin crossed paths rarely in years past; in fact Stone Cold actually helped Sid win the WWE championship from Austin’s then arch enemy Bret Hart, blasting the Hit Man with a chair when Bret had the Sharpshooter on Sid.
When Sid attempted to lay down the law and threatened to powerbomb Absinthe and Morganna if they didn’t get along, Stone Cold stepped up as a favour to Kane and got into a massive brawl with the Psycho one. They clashed again on Saturday Night’s Main Event and Austin came out on top, landing a Stone Cold Stunner on the massive head of Raw security…how will Sid react?
Sid has also had his issues with Jake the Snake Roberts. When Jake and the Undertaker crashed the wedding reception of Randy Savage and Elizabeth, Sid intervened. Since Randy Savage had been forced into retirement, it was Sid who took up the fight until he could be reinstated. During one incident, Sid was scheduled to face a masked jobber named the Black Demon…who turned out to be Jake in disguise. Sid was tied in the ropes and threatened with a King Cobra that night, and he missed his chance to take part in the Survivor Series against a team headed by Jake after injuries suffered at the hand of the Undertaker. Their feud was rekindled on Saturday Night’s Main Event when Jake menaced Sid with a Python, keeping him preoccupied so that Stone Cold could give him the Stunner.
Speaking of Jake, perhaps his most bitter feud was against the Macho Man Randy Savage. Jake threatened Elizabeth with a cobra at their wedding reception. Weeks later he goaded Randy into the ring, tied him in the ropes and got his King Cobra to bite the Macho Man in one of the most disturbing scenes in WWE history. Jake later claimed that he thought the snake had been devenomized, a claim WWE president Jack Tunney didn’t buy for a New York Minute. Tunney reinstated Savage and he met Jake at Tuesday in Texas. Savage was able to win the match but was determined to injure Jake. During the attempted post match assault Jake turned the tide and planted Savage with the DDT. Elizabeth came to the ring to try and help and the Snake repeatedly DDT’d Randy right in front of her, making her beg for her husband’s well being. The Snake even crossed the line when he struck Elizabeth across the face during the incident. Savage and Jake feuded bitterly, and after one match on Saturday Night’s Main Event the Snake waited behind the curtain intending to strike Elizabeth with a chair…ironically it was the Undertaker who intervened.
Jake made his Madison Square Garden debut with a very hard fought victory against none other than Leaping Lanny Poffo.
Jake also clashed briefly with Hogan during the 80s but the two were Survivor Series partners in 1989 and never feuded openly…but who can trust the Snake?
When Hulk Hogan went to WCW and became champion, he found himself feuding with the monster Vader, leading up to a leather strap match at Uncensored 1995 which was won by the Hulkster.
Jim the Anvil Neidhart and Psycho Sid used to team up occasionally in the mid 90’s but found themselves on opposing sides when the Hart Foundation waged war against the United States in general. Now those tensions have re-emerged, more heated than ever, as Sid has been critical of the Anvil as a security head, which prompted Neidhart to say his job is to restore order not provoke fights as Sid has done. They battled during the brawl on Saturday Night’s Main Event as well…
Neidhart also had issues with Randy Savage, assisting fellow Jimmy Hart protégé the Honky Tonk Man when Savage challenged him for the Intercontinental title. The Hart Foundation held Savage in place for a guitar shot on Saturday Night’s Main Event and Savage was ironically saved by Hulk Hogan. Savage later teamed with Strike Force to face the Harts and Honky in a six man cage match that was won by Savage’s team.
Mick Foley and Sid have clashed a few times over the years as well. During the early 90s, Foley was part of Herb Abrams’ upstart Universal Wrestling Federation, where he faced and defeated Sid! Mankind challenged Sid for the WWE title in 1997 in Germany with Sid retaining the championship. Shortly afterwards, Vader and Mankind defeated upcoming Wrestlemania opponents Sid and the Undertaker when their team fell apart and the psycho one made the mistake of powerbombing and abandoning his partner…a decision that only raised the ire of the Phenom.
Sid and Vader once teamed in WCW, but as wrestlers who both wanted to be the most feared monster in the land it wasn’t long before they became rivals. In the WWE, Sid teamed up with Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson to take on Vader, Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith at International Incident, which was won by Vader’s team. Sid would get his revenge at Buried Alive in October when he beat Vader in a number one contender’s match…Sid would go on to defeat Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series to win the WWE title, a belt never held by the Mastadon.
As Commissioner of the WWE, Sgt Slaughter often found himself at odds with the defiant Stone Cold Steve Austin, even enduring the Stunner on a few occasions. Sarge would play a role in several of Vince McMahon’s efforts to screw the Rattlesnake and also clashed with Foley during these years…Goldust also ran afoul of the Commissioner when he dressed as “Hunter Dust” to face Owen Hart in Triple H’s place. Slaughter wouldn’t let it slide and when Owen defeated Hunter Dust, Sarge declared that he also won the European Title that HHH was scheduled to defend in the match.
INTER-TEAM PROBLEMS
There are as many if not more feuds between team members as there are across teams, perhaps because Hogan’s team consists entirely of men who were all active in the same era.
The feud between Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan is one of the biggest in wrestling history. Originally, Savage was a challenger for Hogan’s championship, but after Hulk rescued Savage from an assault at the hands the Mega Powers were formed. Hogan helped Savage win the WWE title at Wrestlemania 4, but jealousy reared its head as the Macho Man felt he was being upstaged by Hogan even though he was the champion. Savage also began to suspect that Hogan lusted after Elizabeth. At the 1989 Royal Rumble Hogan accidentally eliminated Savage while eliminating Bad News Brown, who was holding on to Savage. On Saturday Night’s Main Event, Elizabeth was accidentally knocked out during a match with the Twin Towers when Akeem threw Savage out of the ring onto her. A distraught Hogan carried Elizabeth to the trainer’s room….Savage was furious and walked out on Hogan. The two had a confrontation backstage and Savage assaulted Hogan, as well as Brutus Beefcake, who came to try and break up the attack. This led to Hogan winning the title from Savage at Wrestlemania 5, as well as a series of matches between Hogan and Beefcake and Savage and Zeus, culminating in a steel cage match won by Hulk’s team. Hogan and Savage would briefly team in WCW but Savage never let his jealousy and hatred die. Believing Hogan had tried to ruin his career, Savage rejected all efforts to bury the hatchet, even releasing a rap song called “Be a Man” which bashed Hogan.
Savage’s brother the Genius also has issues with Hogan and Beefcake. The Genius holds a count out victory over the Hulk on Saturday Night’s Main Event, thanks in part to his friend Mr Perfect. Hogan gained some revenge when he teamed with the Ultimate Warrior against Perfect and Genius on the next SNME.
As for Beefcake and the Genius, because of Brutus’ friendship with Hulk he faced the Genius at the 1990 Royal Rumble, where Mr Perfect and the Genius broke the Barber’s ribs with a chair. After Beefcake defeated Perfect at Wrestlemania, he cut the Genius’ hair, humiliating him on wrestling’s grandest stage.
Who could forget the feud between Hogan and Sgt Slaughter? Slaughter was the most patriotic man in the WWE until Hogan came along. Upstaged and eventually released, Sarge was embittered. When he returned to the WWE he did so as an Iraqi Sympathizer. He faced Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 7. In the weeks leading up to their title match Sarge repeatedly attacked Hogan as well as his friends and fans. Hogan beat Sarge to win the title at Wrestlemania, but backstage after the show Slaughter threw a fireball in Hogan’s face, leading to a series of Desert Storm matches as well as a final confrontation at Summerslam 1991 when Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior defeated Sarge, Colonel Mustafa (The Iron Sheik) and General Adnan with Sid as the referee. Sarge later repented and re-embraced his country, but is there still animosity between himself and the Hulkster?
Sid and Hulk Hogan became friends after Summerslam, with Hogan even inviting Sid to come and pose with him in the ring. The friendship didn’t last. At the Royal Rumble Hogan was eliminated by Sid, who said “hey it’s every man for himself.” Hogan was furious and grabbed Sid’s arm from the floor, enabling Ric Flair to dump Sid and win the Rumble-and the vacant WWE title. Sid was furious but eventually apologized for losing his temper. The two men even teamed up on Saturday Night’s Main Event against the incredible team of Ric Flair and the Undertaker. But it was a setup. The vengeful Sid walked out, leaving Hogan for dead, and then challenged him to a match at Wrestlemania. Sid even trashed the Barber Shop set and threatened to re-arrange Brutus Beefcake’s surgically reconstructed face. Hogan won their match by disqualification, but Sid earned a place in history as one of the few men to kick out of Hogan’s legdrop.
As we saw on SNME, Sid seems incapable of getting along with anyone on his team.
Even Hogan and Brutus have had their issues. At one time in the 1980s Beefcake received a title shot against Hogan and was unsuccessful. Years later in WCW Beefcake actually turned on the Hulkster and they headlined a few pay per views before Beefcake reconciled with Hulk and joined the NWO as the Disciple. The two are best of friends now…
FEUDS WITHIN AUSTIN’S TEAM
The Rattlesnake has feuded with almost everyone at some point in time. He and Mick Foley were once tag team champions, but Foley later allied with Vince McMahon and challenged Austin for the WWE title in a series of controversial matches with Austin eventually coming out on top. A year later, Mankind had to beat Austin on Raw as one of a series of matches to earn the right to be the guest referee for Austin’s title match at Wrestlemania with the Rock…where Foley counted the pin when Austin won the title. Later that year at Summerslam, Mankind won the WWE title in a triple threat match with HHH and Austin, pinning the Rattlesnake with the Double Arm DDT.
Austin clashed with Dustin Rhodes in WCW, winning the United States title at Starrcade. In the WWE, Goldust also ran afoul of the Rattlesnake, including being on the receiving end of the Stunner for dressing up as Baby New Year.
In 1996 Stone Cold won the King of the Ring tournament, beating an injured Jake the Snake Roberts in the finals and mocking his religious beliefs, coining the phrase Austin 3:16. Years later (fed history) Jake abducted JR to get into Austin’s head and eventually gained a measure of revenge by pinning Austin in a backstage brawl. They seemed to co-exist on SNME…but can either trust the other?
One of Austin’s greatest feuds was with Bret Hart. At one point Austin was about to attack Bret, who was recovering from knee surgery and confined to a wheelchair, on the stage. Jim the Anvil Neidhart made a surprise return and threw Austin off the stage. They never wrestled one on one, but they were on opposing teams at Canadian Stampede in July 97 which was won by the Harts when Owen pinned Stone Cold. Neidhart would, like all Austin foes, receive a Stunner or two over the next few months.
Stone Cold and Vader have also had their battles, though never in a high profile pay per view bout. Still, one must wonder how Vader will respond to Austin describing his mask as a jockstrap on his face.
Cactus Jack and Jake the Snake Roberts were allies in WCW…Jake wrestled and lost to Mankind in the WWE. Years later Jake and Foley were two members of the Triad of Terror and Foley served as assistant GM to the Snake when he was running Smackdown. The two had a falling out over Jake’s tyranny and fought at the King of the Ring for control of Smackdown, with Jake emerging victorious. Foley gained a measure of revenge at last year’s Wrestlemania when he and Jake were the last two men in the ring for the Legends Battle Royal, with Foley emerging the victor. If they are on the same page they are a major force to be reckoned with…but if bad blood takes over it could be a disaster.
Mankind and Vader formed a tag team in the WWE, but Foley never forgot his alter ego Cactus Jack’s WCW feud with Vader, in which his ear was ripped off during a match in Germany. The team fell apart with Mankind emerging victorious…years later has either man forgotten the wars of their past?
Goldust and Vader were teammates in the 1997 Survivor Series, with Goldust walking out on Vader. This led to a bitter feud that saw Goldust throw rubbing alcohol in Vader’s eyes and hit him over the head with a hammer before Vader finally got revenge at the Royal Rumble. Will the short tempered Mastadon forgive and forget?
Will he trust Goldust not to betray him again?
Goldust and Mankind were once friends and allies, but they have also clashed.
As mentioned previously, Stone Cold won the 1996 King of the Ring against an injured Jake the Snake. The man who injured him? Vader. Jake defeated Vader in the semi finals but his ribs were injured in a post match attack. Previously they had been opponents in a six man tag at Wrestlemani, where Vader teamed with the British Bulldog and Owen Hart to defeat Jake, Yokozuna and Ahmed Johnson. Years later, Eric Bischoff brought Vader in to face Jake in an effort to weaken the Snake before the two GMs squared off at Wrestlemania, but it was the Snake who emerged victorious.
Then this past weekend at Axcess, Smackdown GM Roddy Piper announced that the man who scored the deciding fall would be crowned Legends Champion.
With so many bitter feuds between teammates and the prestige of being declared Legends Champion at stake, how will these teams function at Wrestlemania? And don’t forget about the referee…Roddy Piper has had high profile feuds with both Hulk Hogan and Goldust, and he has clashed with Stone Cold…how will the Rowdy One call this match?
FINK: Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for the Legends of Wrestlemania Twelve Man Tag team match! The man who scores the deciding fall will be declared the WWE Legends Champion! Introducing first your announcers…WWE Hall of Famers Mean Gene Okerlund and Jesse “The Body” Ventura!
Mean Gene and Jesse both get a good ovation from the crowd as they make their way to the ring.
MEAN GENE: Jesse the electricity in the air is so thick, you could cut it with a knife!
VENTURA: It’s awesome Mean Gene, over seventy thousand people here and millions watching around the world and we are about to see one of the biggest matches in wrestling history.
“No Chance” suddenly hits!
MEAN GENE: What? You have to be kidding me!
VENTURA: I don’t believe it, it’s Vince McMahon!
Mr. McMahon swaggers down to the ring and takes the microphone from Howard Finkel.
VINCE: You all look surprised to see me! Before this match gets underway I just have a few things I want to say. Twenty five years ago I had a vision for a wrestling extravaganza that would be bigger than the World Series, the Superbowl, or the Stanley Cup finals, and thanks to each and every one of you people here and watching around the world that vision has been a reality for the last two decades. So on behalf of myself and my family I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Now, this is the first time I have stood in my own ring in three years. Notwithstanding the circumstances that led to my retirement, I have to say that I am happy now to be able to sit back, to appreciate the important things in life such as my beautiful grand children and to experience with them the little moments in life I missed out on with my own children. I am content to leave the headaches and the hassles of running the WWE to the General Managers as I once left the day to day operations in the hands of the likes of Jack Tunney and Gorilla Monsoon. That being said, just once for old time’s sake I’m going to sit down at the broadcast booth tonight with Jesse Ventura and Mean Gene!
Vince gives the mic back to the Fink and goes to the broadcast team.
VINCE: How are you doing guys?
VENTURA: Great, I thought it was bad enough having to put up with Okerlund, now I have to deal with you too McMahon!?
VINCE: Haha, just like old times. Jesse nothing you can say is going to spoil my good mood tonight, this is Wrestlemania and I’m looking forward to just calling this match like a fan and an announcer without the headaches of having to fight with the wrestlers day in and day out. How about it Gene, isn’t the atmosphere incredible?
MEAN GENE: Vince there’s nothing like it. Now I understand that Roddy Piper found out that both Bret Hart and Chris Jericho would be ringside to support Jim Neidhart and Sid respectively so he will be adding two more enforcers to the four who were originally announced. But we have no idea who they’re going to be!
FINK: Now introducing the special ringside enforcers. First, the first African American world heavyweight champion and one half of the legendary APA, RON SIMMONS!
Simmons walks out to the ring and stops near the announce table.
FINK: From the Island of Tonga…HAKU!
Haku makes his way down to the ring and stops at one of the corners.
FINK: From Parts Unknown, the longest reigning tag team champions in history…Ax and Smash, DEMOLITION
Demolition stand at the two corners near the aisle.
FINK: WWE Hall of Famer….RICKY THE DRAGON STEAMBOAT!
MEAN GENE: What a great choice, Ricky Steamboat is a man who always embodied honor and fair play throughout his entire career. Few wrestlers can say that.
Steamboat gets a standing ovation as he heads to the ring. As he takes his place, some of the fans start a “ONE MORE MATCH!” chant.
VINCE: Alright Ricky Steamboat is one of the two surprise enforcers…but who will the last one be?
FINK: And…from San Antonio Texas…THE HEARTBREAK KID SHAWN MICHAELS
Michaels gets a huge pop and heads to the ring.
VINCE: What will it be like when Shawn encounters Bret Hart out here?
FINK: And now the special guest referee…WWE Hall of Famer and Smackdown General Manager ROWDY RODDY PIPER
Piper gets a huge pop as he comes out carrying the new legends title belt which is placed on a table near the timekeeper.
FINK: And now the participants…first from Hollywood California, weighing 260 pounds, GOLDUST!
Goldust comes out as gold glitter is fired off into the air.
VINCE: The bizarre Goldust is perhaps a bit underrated when it comes to getting credit for ushering in the attitude era.
MEAN GENE: There was certainly no one more controversial.
Goldust shimmies out of his robe…then comes face to face with Hot Rod! Goldust backs off a bit as the GM glares at him.
VINCE: Who could forget the Hollywood Backlot Brawl? Goldust doesn’t want to get on the wrong side of the Hot Rod.
FINK: His partners, first from the Rocky Mountains, weighing 450 pounds, VADER!
VENTURA: This man is one of the greatest big men I’ve ever seen, he can do it all and he’s as mean as they come.
Vader goes face to face with Goldust, warning him not to try any funny stuff this time.
VENTURA: I’m noticing a trend here, Goldust is not very well liked at all is he?
VINCE: Well his antics do get him on the wrong side of a lot of people but you can’t deny his ability.
MEAN GENE: The last time these two teamed up years ago it was a disaster when Goldust actually walked out on Vader. Vader certainly hasn’t forgotten.
FINK: From Calgary, Alberta Canada, accompanied by Bret Hitman Hart, JIM THE ANVIL NEIDHART
The Hart Foundation make their way to the ring and Bret stops and exchanges words with Shawn Michaels. Michaels seems to be trying to shake hands and Bret just says, “Try not to screw anyone over this time Shawn.” He then walks past the announce table and says, “That goes for you to Vince.”
VINCE: I’m just here to call the match. Nice to see you Bret!
Bret turns away.
FINK: From Stone Mountain Georgia, weighing 249 pounds, JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS
Jake comes out carrying a green canvas bag. He unties it at ringside and slides a python into the ring, clearing his own team mates out of the ring!
VENTURA: I don’t blame them for getting out, I hate snakes!
Jake holds the python up and walks around the ring before putting it away.
FINK: From Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, weighing 287 pounds, CACTUS JACK!
Cactus comes out and does the Bang Bang sign at the screaming crowd.
VINCE: Arguably the most violent and sadistic of Mick Foley’s personalities, Cactus Jack could be the most dangerous man in this match.
The scene cuts to the Gorilla Position. Austin is about to walk through the curtain but stops when he sees Absinthe is sitting there on a table. She gets up, kisses him quickly on the cheek and says, “For luck.”
FINK: And from Victoria, Texas, weighing 250 pounds…STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
When the glass shatters the roar of the crowd is deafening. Austin marches to the ring, poses on all four corners and begins to exchange words with his partners.
MEAN GENE: You have to wonder how either team can possibly co exist with their various personal issues and the addition of the Legends Title to the mix.
VENTURA: We need to be clear about something here, the enforcers are not Lumberjacks, the wrestlers can fight at ringside if they want, the job of the enforcers is to make sure no one from the outside interferes, they have to make sure the teams don’t fight each other to the point of letting the match deteriorate into a total free for all, and they need to keep an eye on each other too!
FINK: And now their opponents. First, accompanied by Raw General Manager Chris Jericho, from West Memphis, Arkansas, weighing 320 pounds, PSYCHO SID
Sid walks out with Jericho behind him under a pyro display shaped in the form of his name.
VINCE: This man is one of the elite few to have won the WWE title and the WCW world title, and he has also headlined two Wrestlemanias.
VENTURA: Yeah and the first one was against Hogan! I don’t think those two are going to get along at all!
Sid walks up to Michaels when he gets to ringside.
VINCE: At one time Shawn employed Sid as a bodyguard until he made the mistake of giving him the night off and was hospitalized by him.
VENTURA: That’s why I don’t think Jericho made the best choice asking this guy to be his bodyguard or his head of security. This guy is likely to snap on you at any second and he’s more of an agent of chaos than an enforcer of law and order.
GENE: Let’s not forget Sid beat Shawn Michaels to win his first WWE title and it was Michaels who ended that first reign.
Sid is threatening Shawn, who keeps saying, “You just focus on your match big man.”
FINK: His partners, first from San Francisco California, weighing 271 pounds, BRUTUS “THE BARBER” BEEFCAKE
VENTURA: This guy isn’t going to have a lot of hair to cut in this match and I don’t think he’ll really have time. Hey McMahon maybe he can give you a little trim.
VINCE: I had Brutus touch up my sideburns before the show actually.
GENE: There is some animosity between Brutus and Sid as well that was mostly a by product of Sid’s rivalry with Hulk Hogan. Brutus tried to get Sid to go back to the ring when he walked out on Hogan during a tag match and later on Sid destroyed the Barber Shop and threatened to re-arrange Bruti’s surgically reconstructed face.
FINK: From Paris Island, South Carolina, WWE Hall of Famer SGT SLAUGHTER!
GENE: Another former WWE champion, Sgt. Slaughter was once the most popular man in wrestling and at one time he was also as it’s most hated competitor, ironically when he was champion!
VENTURA: Yeah and don’t think this guy is going to want to play second fiddle to that chump Hogan. He may have gotten his country back but he never did get his belt back. I look for Sarge to stick it to Chump Hogan tonight!
FINK: From Downer’s Grove Illinois, weighing 243 pounds, THE GENIUS
VENTURA: Here’s a guy I think is extremely underrated. A lot of people are fooled by the poetry and the finery and forget he is a great technical wrestler and a high flyer.
VINCE: I would suggest he isn’t going to be reading any poetry here tonight at Wrestlemania.
VENTURA: How do you know? Maybe he has a special poem planned if he wins the Legends Title.
FINK: From Sarasota, Florida, weighing 245 pounds, MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE
Savage comes out to a great reaction pointing at the crowd, then gets in the ring and poses on a turnbuckle.
GENE: Unquestionably one of the all time greats…
VENTURA: If anyone is going to point out how good Macho is it’s going to be me, I was on his bandwagon before any of you guys were. Vince you have anything good to say about Randy or do you still carry a grudge over him jumping ship without telling you.
VINCE: No comment.
FINK: And, from Venice Beach, California, weighing 303 pounds, WWE Hall of Famer HULK HOGAN
Of course Hogan gets a huge pop as well and comes out pointing to the crowd, then to the ring.
VINCE: Listen to this crowd reaction. We don’t always see eye to eye but unquestionably Hulk Hogan is one of the greatest icons this sport has ever seen. But the same can be said for a few others in this match, not the least of whom is standing right in front of us, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Hogan tears off his shirt and then finds himself in a heated argument with both Savage and Sid! Genius sides with Savage, Beefcake backs Hogan.
VENTURA: This is going to explode before we even get a bell!
Demolition and Steamboat get in the ring to try and separate them. When HBK joins in, Sid shoves him. Michaels looks ready to fight and Jericho gets in the ring.
Y2J: Get out of here Michaels you son of a bitch!
HBK: Back off Jericho!
GENE: There is bad blood between Jericho and Michaels as well, I think we should watch for that to develop as this match progresses.
VENTURA: The ringside enforcers are just as likely to start a fight as the competitors here! Roddy Piper really put together a powder keg with this one!
Finally, Piper, Steamboat, Simmons and Demolition manage to restore order and Piper says Sid can start. Austin insists on starting for the other team.
VINCE: This showdown has been brewing for the past few weeks and we won’t need to wait for it at all!
Austin and Sid go right at each other with punches. Sid grabs Austin by the throat and tosses him into a corner. He tries to follow up with a big right hand but Austin moves, then unloads with punches to the head. He goes to work with kicks to the body, looking to stomp a mudhole in Sid, except the big man doesn’t go down to a sitting position so he goes back upstairs with punches. Sid knees Austin in the gut, then unloads with clubbing blows to the back of the neck and a short clothesline that knocks Austin down.
VENTURA: Austin may be damn tough but he is making a mistake standing toe to toe with a guy this much bigger than he is.
Sid pounds Austin on the ropes, then sends him into the opposite set of ropes to try a big boot. Austin ducks and comes back with a Lou Thesz Press! He unloads with punches on the mat, runs the ropes and drops an elbow to the throat of Sid. 1………..Sid kicks out.
VINCE: A premature cover there by Stone Cold. It will take a lot to beat any one of these men.
Austin hammers Sid with right hands when he gets up, then goes to send him into the ropes but Sid reverses and knocks Austin down with a boot. Hogan tags in!
VENTURA: Just like Hogan to steal the spotlight!
Sid is furious but reluctantly steps out. Jericho protests against Hogan from the floor but is ignored by everyone except Sid, who nods in agreement and says “Don’t worry boss he’ll pay for that!”. Hogan waits for Austin to get up with a big fist cocked and unloads with right hands when Stone Cold is up.
GENE: Hogan and Austin is another one of those fights these fans were dying to see.
Hogan sends Austin into the ropes and knocks him down with a clothesline. He drops three elbows and then rakes his boot over Austin’s face! Hulk hits a few chops when Austin stands, sends him into the ropes and hits a running elbow to the head, knocking Austin down for a two count. He follows up with an Irish whip and charges in but Austin kicks him in the face, then knocks him down with a clothesline. Austin tags in Cactus Jack!
Cactus backs Hogan into a corner with punches, beats him down to a sitting position, then backs up and runs in with both knees to the face!
VINCE: I’ve been on the receiving end of that, it’s not a fun way to spend a Sunday night let me tell you.
Cactus gives Hogan a neckbreaker and pins him for a two count. Members of both teams were coming in.
VENTURA: This is where you really need eyes in the back of your head, your own partners aren’t going to want you to score the fall because they all want to be the Legends Champion.
Vader tags in. He rams Hogan into a corner and goes to work with punches to the ribs and the head.
GENE: Vader is one of the most dangerous punchers in the business. He could do some serious damage in a short period of time with these shots.
Vader sends Hulk into the ropes and knocks him down with a double armed clothesline. 1………….2…………..Hulk kicks out. Vader sends him staggering back into the corner with a big right hand, then Irish whips him. He charges in for an Avalanche but Hulk boots him in the face and knocks him down with a clothesline. Both men tag out and now Goldust is in with Brutus!
VINCE: I believe this may be the first time these two have met! Both men are around the same size so this should be one heck of a confrontation!
They meet in the middle of the ring trading blows. Beefcake eventually kicks Goldust and begins to wring his arm over and over. Goldust is dancing in pain as Beefcake puts more and more pressure on his arm, but finally finally hits a shot to the Barber’s face to break the hold. He backs Bruti into a neutral corner with a series of hard shots, Irish whips him, hits a corner clothesline and then a bulldog. 1……………….2……………Beefcake kicks out and again members of both teams were coming in.
GENE: So far no one man or team has been able to build a sustained advantage.
Goldust doubles the Barber over with a kick to the stomach and then drops down to a hit an uppercut. He then goes to whip Brutus into the ropes but he reverses and hits a high kneelift!
VENTURA: He got Goldust right on the chin with that one!
Goldust struggles up only to get a bodyslam, then an atomic drop that propels him right into a right hand from Hogan! Goldust staggers into a clothesline from Bruti. Slaughter tags in and hits Goldust with a few shots to the face, then sends him into the ropes, drops down to one knee and hits an elbow to the gut as Goldust runs back! The impact causes him to flip over Sarge to the mat!
GENE: A shot to the stomach like that will knock the wind right out of a man!
Goldust holds his stomach and kicks his feet in pain. Slaughter gives him a gutbuster and hooks the leg. 1………….2……………kickout. Sarge tries to lock in a Cobra Clutch but Goldust lunges forward and sends Slaughter face first into the turnbuckle.
VENTURA: You don’t want to go for moves like that prematurely and get caught. I think Sarge thought he had Goldust in a more compromising position than he really did and he paid for it.
Goldust rams Sarge into his corner, hits a few punches and tags in the Anvil. Neidhart repeatedly buries his shoulder into the ribs, then brings Slaughter out of the corner with a big bodyslam. The Anvil knocks Sarge down with a pair of shoulder blocks and then a dropkick!
VINCE: A dropkick from a 280 pounder, you don’t see that every day.
Slaughter stands up and Neidhart propels him towards a corner with such velocity that his head hits the post instead of the turnbuckle! Slaughter holds his head in pain and falls backwards to the mat. Neidhart pins him. 1……………………2……………….kickout.
GENE: Again you saw members of both teams looking to intervene. I don’t believe for a second that Neidhart’s partners were looking to guard the pin!
The Anvil sends Sarge into the ropes and goes for a back body drop but Sarge kicks him and hits a Slaughter cannon! Neidhart falls and rolls towards his corner. Slaughter tags in Macho Man and the Anvil tags Jake the Snake!
VINCE: One of the most bitter rivalries in the history of sports entertainment is about to be renewed here!
They meet in the middle of the ring and exchange punches. Savage knees Jake in the stomach, then sends him into the ropes and knocks him down with a reverse elbow. Jake is up quick but Savage is all over him with right and lefts. He Irish whips him and runs in but Jake catches him with a knee to the face. Savage backs up, stunned, and Jake unloads with a series of jabs, then comes off the ropes with a big right hand to the jaw that drops the Macho Man.
VENTURA: Again we’re seeing that overzealousness is a good way to get caught! Savage ran right into a knee from Jake the Snake.
Jake hits another kneelift and pins Savage for a two count. He follows up with a gutbuster! Savage is writhing in pain and Jake repeatedly drives his knee into the fallen Macho Man’s chest. The Snake winds up the arm and goes for the short clothesline but Savage ducks and hits a knee to the back. Jake is sent throat first into the ropes and stumbles back into a double sledge to the face! Savage slams Jake, drops a knee to the chest, then goes up top and hits a double axehandle! 1………………2……………..Jake kicks out. Savage grabs Jake by the hair and leaps over the ropes, snapping his neck on the top rope!
GENE: Vintage Macho Man!
Savage makes the cover. 1……………2………….kickout. The Genius tags in and comes over the ropes with a sommersault right onto the Snake’s chest. 1………………2………….kickout.
VINCE: Let’s not forget that Randy Savage, the Genius and Sid have a pact to try and take out Jake the Snake here.
Genius winds up Jake’s arm, steps over it and flips him to the mat into an armlock. Jake struggles to his feet and hits a stiff jab, then tries to clothesline the Genius but he ducks and rolls the Snake up. 1……..Jake kicks out. Genius applies a headlock but Jake counters out into a hammerlock. Genius reverses, Jake elbows him in the face, then applies a wristlock. Genius dances in pain as Jake puts pressure on the wrist, then lifts the Genius up with the wristlock and slams him down on his back! Savage takes a swing at Jake from the apron, but the Snake blocks and knocks Randy off the apron with a stiff jab.
VENTURA: The Snake is really on top of his game tonight.
Genius hits a right hand, and Jake fires back. They trade punches and Jake gets the better of it, eventually knocking Genius down. Savage tags in as his brother falls and Genius wisely gets his legs around Jake’s ankle to prevent him from getting out of enemy territory. Savage hits a double axehandle to the head and Jake goes down.
VENTURA: See how smart the Genius was? Even on the receiving end of things he made sure they didn’t let Jake out of their side of the ring.
Savage hits a dropping clothesline and gets a two count on Jake. He unwinds some tape from his wrist and uses it to choke Jake. He breaks on four, then winds up Jake’s arm and kicks him right in the chest. Savage points to Sid and tags in the big man.
GENE: As we were just saying there is a pact of sorts between the Macho Man, the Genius and Sid to take out Jake the Snake Roberts.
Sid drives Jake back into a corner and repeatedly kicks him in the stomach before choking him. Sid then scoops Jake up and slams him viciously to the mat before dropping a big leg to the chest. Jake rolls to his stomach and tries to crawl to the ropes, but Sid picks him up and hits a clubbing forearm to the back. Sid then Irish whips Jake with tremendous velocity. Jake leans awkwardly against the corner.
VINCE: The lower back of Jake the Snake really hit that middle turnbuckle hard. He could be injured.
Sid pulls Jake out and tries to set up for the Powerbomb but Jake fights free. Sid connects with a blow to the side of the head that rocks Jake and goes for a boot, but Jake ducks and chopblocks him!
GENE: That’s the same ankle that Sid snapped in one of the most sickening injuries I have ever seen! Jake Roberts obviously did his homework.
Jake stomps the ankle and tags in the Anvil. Anvil says something to Jake and he nods. When Sid tries to get up, Jake pulls on the ropes, slingshotting the Anvil into the ring with a huge shoulderblock to the chest of Sid!
VINCE: What a tremendous double team maneuver!
Sid rolls to the ropes and the Anvil is all over him with forearms to the chest, then sends him into the ropes and hits a flying shoulder that knocks Sid back down. Sid is up quick but Neidhart tackles him back into a neutral corner, buries a few shoulders to the gut, Irish whips Sid and spears him against the opposite corner. Sid staggers out into a front powerslam from Neidhart!
VENTURA: Imagine the strength it took to get that big behemoth up on the Anvil’s shoulder like that!
Anvil makes the cover but Sid kicks out at 2. The Anvil goes out onto the apron and slingshots himself in with a splash to Sid! 1………..2…………Sid kicks out but again members of both teams were on the way in. Neidhart goes to pick Sid up again but Sid punches him in the gut, then grabs him by the goatee. He pulls forward and sends the Anvil face first into a turnbuckle.
VINCE: Unbelievable, the trademark goatee of Jim the Anvil Neidhart was used against him!
Sid grabs the goatee again with one hand and repeatedly punches Neidhart with the other hand. He then uses the goatee to whip Neidhart through the ropes! As the Anvil flies through Austin tags himself in and attacks Sid!
VENTURA: I think Sid should have gone for a tag while he had the chance!
Austin hammers Sid against the ropes, then doubles him over with a kick and takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker. Austin gets up on the second turnbuckle and hits a flying elbow smash to the chest. 1……….2…………shoulder up! The Rattlesnake quickly grabs the legs and turns Sid over into a Texas Cloverleaf!
GENE: Austin saw Jake the Snake target that ankle and filed the information away for use as soon as the opportunity presented itself!
Sid actually screams in pain but pushes up and kicks Austin off!
VINCE: The power of Sid is frightening. Steve Austin weighs 250 pounds and he was kicked off like a small child!
Austin goes right back at Sid when he gets up with right hands, stunning the big man. He tries to send Sid into the ropes, Sid reverses, but Austin comes back with another Lou Thesz Press attempt…except this time Sid catches him in midair and drops him throat first on the ropes!
VENTURA: Whoa a stungun for Austin! That’s insult added to injury right there!
Austin gets up holding his throat and Sid gives him a sidewalk slam. He pins Austin and gets a two count. As Sid stands up, Hogan tags in!
VENTURA: Again! This is the second time Hogan has tried to steal the spotlight from Sid!
GENE: You just said Sid should have been looking for a tag Jesse!
Sid is irate and shoves Hogan! Hogan shoves back! Beefcake gets in the ring to support Hulk.
VENTURA: It’s all breaking down now!
Jericho gets on the apron but Michaels grabs him by the leg and pulls him down! Jericho turns around and knocks Michaels down with a right hand! He yells, “You SON OF A BITCH!” and kicks HBK in the ribs. Michaels gets up and fights back!
VINCE: We’re getting a bonus match up on the floor with Michaels and Jericho!
Michaels lights up Jericho with a few chops and goes to whip him into the post but Y2J reverses and Michaels hits back first! Bret grins and says, “Come on Chris!”
VINCE: As you might expect Bret Hart enjoyed that!
Meanwhile, Austin shoves Hogan into Sid and rolls the Hulkster up! 1…………….2……………Hogan rolls free. Austin unloads with right hands on the Hulkster and goes to send him into the ropes, but Hulk reverses and attempts a back body drop. Austin kicks Hogan in the chest. They clothesline each other!
Meanwhile on the floor Jericho is trying to put the Walls of Jericho on Michaels while Steamboat and Ron Simmons are trying to reason with him. Michaels kicks Jericho away into the steps. He gets up and tries to get at Jericho. Haku grabs Michaels from behind to restrain him and Jericho connects with a low kick to HBK!
GENE: Many people don’t know it but Haku and Jericho are actually good friends. I don’t think Haku inadvertently held Michaels open for that at all!
VENTURA: You are such a conspiracy theorist Mean Gene!
Hogan and Austin roll to the ropes and the Genius and Goldust tag themselves in.
VINCE: What a strange match up this is. The Master of the Mind Game and the Mastermind!
Genius and Goldust circle. When they go to tie up, the Genius skips aside and taunts Goldust. Goldust responds by rubbing his hands up his front in his trademark taunt. The Genius looks a bit put off.
VINCE: I don’t think Lanny Poffo ever encountered an opponent quite like Goldust.
They tie up. The Genius gets a headlock, transitions quickly into a hammerlock, Goldust reverses, Genius reverses again, hiptosses Goldust and then gets a headlock on the mat. Goldust counters with a headscisor and tries to force Poffo’s face into his crotch! The Genius struggles like crazy and pulls away, wiping his face in a corner and complaining to Piper.
GENE: The mind games of Goldust seem to be working right now wouldn’t you agree Jesse?
VENTURA: Of course the Genius is upset, that sick freak just tries to molest him. He has dirty crotch sweat in his face now!
The Genius swings a right hand, Goldust ducks and applies a waistlock…then feels up the Genius’ chest! Poffo struggles away desperately and bails out of the ring!
VINCE: The Genius has definitely been unnerved here.
As the Genius complains to Ron Simmons, the nearest enforcer, Goldust grabs him by the hair! The bizarre one pulls the Genius up onto the apron, but Poffo snapmares him over the ropes to the floor!
VENTURA: Brilliant!
The Genius rolls in, waits for Goldust to get up and slingshots himself over the ropes onto the bizarre one!
GENE: This man used to go by the name of Leaping Lanny Poffo and with good reason!
Genius throws Goldust in and goes to the top rope, but Goldust shoves Piper into the ropes and the Genius gets crotched! He falls off the ropes in pain.
VINCE: That move paid off in the short term but I don’t think Roddy Piper will appreciate it at all. It’s already a well known fact that Hot Rod can’t stand Goldust!
Goldust tries to set Poffo up for Shattered Dreams, but Piper is furious. He spins Goldust around and drops him with a stiff right hand to the jaw!
VENTURA: Goldust asked for it when he puts his hands on Piper!
The Genius is quick to capitalize, picking Goldust up and giving him a backbreaker near the corner followed by a knee drop to the chin. With Goldust stunned he climbs up the turnbuckles…
GENE: The Genius is looking for that trademark moonsault of his!
VENTURA: Give him credit, even though he’s in his fifties now he can still pull this off!
The Genius goes for the moonsault! Goldust tries to roll away but he is too late. Genius lands the moonsault on Goldust’s side but he gets hurt as well!
VINCE: Both men are injured! Goldust tried to get out of the way and wasn’t successful but I believe the Genius at the very least knocked the wind out of himself.
VENTURA: I think he landed on Goldust’s elbow, he could have injured a rib!
Goldust is on his side grimacing in pain and the Genius is holding his midsection gasping for air. Poffo struggles to his feet first and tries to set Goldust up for something, but the bizarre one hits a low blow! He pulls on the Genius trunks and sends him face first into a turnbuckle. Goldust kicks the Genius in the back and hits the Curtain Call, not noticing that Savage tagged himself in!
Savage comes in with a boot to the side of the head of Goldust. He pummels him on the mat, then goes for a slam but Goldust counters with a small package. 1……….2………….Savage kicks out. He runs the ropes but Jake knees him in the back!
VINCE: Its so hard in a match like this with six men on each side of the ring to use the ropes the way you normally would.
Goldust hits a flying butt bump to the face of Savage and Jake tags in. The Snake hits a quick series of jabs to the head of the Macho Man, then picks him up and gives him snake eyes! Savage staggers into a big right hand from Roberts that puts him down. Jake stomps on Randy’s hand, then winds up the arm and pulls him into a short clothesline.
GENE: That’s usually the set up for the DDT! Jake could be closing in on the Legends Championship here.
Jake signals for the DDT and puts the front facelock on, but Savage drives him backwards into a corner. Jake holds his ribs in pain and Savage stumbles back. The Macho Man runs in for reverse elbow strike, but Jake is able to raise a knee and it gets Savage in the side.
VENTURA: These are two of the most dangerous and cunning men in wrestling. One misstep against either of these guys could be your last.
Savage stumbles to the far corner holding his ribs in pain. Jake lunges for a big time kneelift but Savage side steps and sweeps the leg out from under Jake. The Snake flies up and lands hard on the back of his head! He thrashes around and rolls to his side of the ring while Savage tags out to Slaughter. Slaughter gets in just as Jake tags Cactus.
VINCE: Here come two hard hitters!
Cactus and Slaughter exchange punches, with Cactus getting the better of it. He backs Slaughter into the ropes, then whips him into the opposite set of ropes. As Sarge comes back Cactus hits a reverse elbow that sends him through the ropes! Slaughter scrambles back in but Cactus hits a legdrop to the back of the neck, driving Sarge’s throat down into the rope. 1………….2………….shoulder up. Cactus tags Austin and holds Slaughter open for a big right hand. Stone Cold backs Slaughter into a corner, beats him down and stomps a mudhole in him. He then whips Slaughter across the ring with such velocity that he flies over the buckles headfirst into the post and then plummets to the floor!
GENE: Oh my God! Sgt. Slaughter could be seriously injured here!
Cactus Jack runs down the apron and drops an elbow on Slaughter!
VENTURA: Is he crazy? If Slaughter wasn’t out of commission before he definitely is now!
Cactus throws Sarge into the ring and Austin pins him. 1…………….2…………….kickout as members of both teams came in.
VINCE: That was a mistake by Cactus Jack, he hit the elbow and threw Slaughter to Austin. Does he not want to be the champion?
Austin measures Slaughter and gets him in the Million Dollar Dream!
VENTURA: Slaughter could get beat with a version of his own hold!
Slaughter struggles into the ropes and hits a low kick! Austin falls to the mat and Cactus tags in.
VINCE: Unbelievable, after all that punishment Sgt. Slaughter is still fighting!
Cactus comes in, doubles Sarge over with a kick and sets up for the Double Arm DDT but Slaughter shoves him backwards into a corner. The back of Foley’s head snaps into the post!
GENE: Oh God…
Slaughter tags out and now Hogan is in with Cactus. Hulk unloads with right hands, then sends Cactus into the ropes. He goes for a backdrop, Cactus tries to kick him, Hogan catches his foot, but Cactus pivots out and clotheslines him!
VENTURA: Anyone who beats up Hogan gets my approval! Come on Cactus get crazy on him!
Cactus picks Hulk up, but Hogan hits him with a shot to the face that spins him around and then backsuplexes Jack! 1…………2…………..kickout. Sid tags himself in and now Hogan is the one who looks pissed off. Sid kicks Cactus in the ribs and then whips him into the ropes with such velocity that Foley flies in between them and gets his neck caught in the ropes!
GENE: He’s hanging! Get him out of there!
VINCE: This is the same way he lost an ear!
Cactus struggles to get free. Savage undoes the ropes and Cactus falls to the floor.
VENTURA: Savage didn’t do that out of mercy, he just knows the match can’t end with a guy in the ropes.
Cactus struggles up onto the apron. Sid hits a boot and Cactus flies backwards off the apron and hits the back of his head on the floor!
GENE: Someone call an ambulance! This man is probably concussed!
Sid goes out after Cactus and whips him knees first into the steps! Cactus flies right over them to the concrete.
VINCE: Cactus may be the hardcore legend but I don’t see how his knees can keep taking this kind of abuse.
Sid throws Cactus into the ring and follows. He signals for the Powerbomb.
VENTURA: Even Mick Foley isn’t going to kick out of this!
Sid goes for it but Cactus somehow backdrops him. Sid lands on his ass and looks embarrassed. He gets up angrily but Cactus catches him with a few right hands to the face. Cactus doubles him over to try for the Double Arm DDT but Sid shoves him back. Cactus rebounds off the ropes and Sid grabs him by the throat. Cactus locks in the Mandible Claw!
GENE: What a contest of wills this is! Will Sid be able to chokeslam Cactus or will he fall prey to the Mandible Claw!?
Sid’s knees begin to shake. He gives one last burst of strength and manages to Chokeslam Cactus while the Claw is still applied, but the force drives Foley’s fingers back hard into his mouth! Sid sinks to the mat gasping while Cactus is on his back barely moving.
VENTURA: That was a gag reflex magnified about a thousand times! They might have just taken each other out!
Both men crawl for their corners. Austin and Hogan both tag in! The crowd goes crazy as they meet in the middle of the ring trading punches. Hogan momentarily gets the advantage but Austin knees him in the stomach, backs him into the ropes with punches and then whips him across the ring, not noticing that Slaughter made a blind tag. Austin nails Hogan as he comes back with a double sledge to the face but Slaughter spins Austin around and hits a Slaughter Cannon! 1……………2……………kickout.
VINCE: I’m personally shocked that Slaughter is already back in the ring after the pounding he took. Talk about the will to win and be the Legends Champion!
Sarge puts Austin in a headlock and rams the top of his head into a turnbuckle. Austin goes down in pain and Sarge drops a knee to the throat. Austin rolls to his belly and starts to get up. Slaughter measures him and applies the Cobra Clutch!
VENTURA: This could be it! Slaughter could win the match and pay Austin back for using his own tactic against him earlier!
Austin struggles and throws himself forward into a corner. Sarge’s head hits the post again!
GENE: That’s the second time this has happened to Sgt. Slaughter in this match!
Sarge is busted open and looks to be out on his feet.
Austin kicks him and hits the Stunner! Sid runs in and boots Austin in the head!
VINCE: Both men are laid out again!
Austin rolls to the ropes first and Vader tags in. Sid tags himself in as the stunned Slaughter rolls to that side of the ring instinctively.
Sid and Vader lock up and neither man gets the edge.
GENE: Talk about the irresistible force meeting the immovable object!
Both men tire of matching strength at the same time and begin to exchange punches. Again neither man can get the advantage. Sid knees Vader, but Vader hits a forearm to the face in retaliation. He tries to send Sid into the ropes, Sid reverses, Vader ducks a clothesline and both men go for boots at the same time! Beefcake tags in.
Vader gets up and Beefcake hits a clap to the ears, then a series of right hands. He hits a knee to the chest, then winds up Vader’s arm. Vader retaliates with a stiff forearm shot to the face! Beefcake is down thrashing in agony.
GENE: I hate to point out something unpleasant but remember that Brutus Beefcake’s face had to be surgically reconstructed after a tragic parasailing accident. Vader could have undone that work with that brutal shot!
Vader pulls the Barber up and hits a few headbutts, then sets up for a powerbomb. In desperation Beefcake flips over Vader and tries a sunset flip. Vader resists and goes for a sitdown splash but Beefcake moves and Vader hits nothing but canvas! As Vader holds his butt in pain, Beefcake tags Hulk. They send Vader into the ropes and nail him with a huge double clothesline. Beefcake guards the pin….1……………….2……………Vader kicks out.
VENTURA: What kind of sucker is Beefcake? Why should he help Hogan become Legends champion?
GENE: Maybe for him friendship comes first.
VENTURA: Yeah well nice guys finish last!
Hogan measures Vader and unloads with punches, then hits a running elbow that has the Mastadon wobbling. Hogan gestures that he is going to slam him!
VINCE: Can Hulk Hogan get the Man They Call Vader up off the canvas?
Hogan tries to lift Vader but the Mastadon hits a clubbing blow across the back and then a diving short clothesline when Hogan puts him down. Vader sends Hulk into the ropes and hits a double armed clothesline shot around the head! Hogan goes down in pain and pulls himself up in a neutral corner. Vader hits an Avalanche to the back!
VENTURA: HAHA! Squash him Vader!
Hogan falls to the mat and Vader splashes him. 1………………2……………kickout as Beefcake was about to break the pin! Vader tells Beefcake to get lost, then waits for Hulk to get up in a corner. He hits an avalanche, then lifts Hogan up on his shoulders and slams him to the mat.
VINCE: I think Vader is looking to put the finishing touches on Hulk Hogan. I believe the Vader Bomb is coming up.
Vader starts to climb up for the Vader Bomb, then changes his mind and goes all the way up!
VENTURA: NO! He’s thinking Moonsault! This could be the end of Hulkamania and I love it!
Vader goes for the moonsault but Hogan moves and the Mastadon crashes to the mat!
VINCE: The entire ring shook with the force of that impact!
GENE: If Vader had hit that I don’t think even the Hulkster could survive!
Hogan gets up and starts to Hulk up. Vader gets up and Hogan bodyslams him! Hogan runs the ropes but Savage tags himself in. Hogan hits a legdrop and is quickly told by Piper that he isn’t the legal man! As Hogan looks on in shock, Savage comes off the top with his trademark elbow to Vader! Hogan grabs Savage and pulls him to his feet!
VENTURA: Damn that Hogan! He’s going to screw the Macho Man over again!?
Savage punches Hogan! Hogan retaliates with a shot of his own. The Genius comes in and so does Beefcake!
VINCE: All hell has broken loose!
Demolition, Haku, Simmons and Ricky Steamboat all get in to break up the fight. Savage turns and knocks Steamboat down with a cheap shot to the head while the Dragon was trying to get the Genius out of the ring!
GENE: What a cheap shot!
Savage kicks away at Ricky, tears his shirt off and chokes him with it! Meanwhile the other enforcers have gotten Hogan, Beefcake and Genius separated. Savage throws Steamboat out of the ring and turns back to Vader, who has rolled to his stomach. Steamboat slides back in, spins Randy around and hits a few chops followed by an armdrag!
VENTURA: I don’t believe it! Steamboat isn’t supposed to be fighting he’s a ringside enforcer!
GENE: Come on Jesse Savage is the one who assaulted the Dragon!
Savage knees Steamboat and throws him over the ropes but Ricky skins the cat. Beefcake makes a blind tag and Savage turns to argue with him. Steamboat is perched on the top, waits for the Macho Man to turn around and comes off with a crossbody!
VINCE: Listen to this ovation for the Dragon!
Savage rolls out of the ring as Steamboat strikes a martial arts pose.
MEAN GENE: Steamboat is in great shape!
Still fired up, the Dragon goes to the top rope and comes off with a flying chop to the head of the Macho Man at ringside!
VINCE: UNBELIEVABLE!
Beefcake waits for Vader to try getting up and puts him in the sleeper!
VENTURA: Beefcake’s gonna steal it!
Vader struggles as the Barber tries to put him out. With a last ditch effort he throws himself backwards, mashing Beefcake into the buckles. Vader falls face down to the mat, barely conscious.
VINCE: Vader has to tag out, he was nearly put to sleep by Brutus.
Cactus Jack comes in, pulls Beefcake up and gives him a piledriver!
GENE: What was that for!?
VENTURA: They’re on opposing teams Mean Gene! He wants to make sure Bruti doesn’t get the upper hand here!
Vader gets up shaking his head, but instead of tagging he climbs to the second rope….VADER BOMB!
VINCE: That’s gotta be it!
1………………….2………………
JAKE KICKS VADER IN THE FACE!
VENTURA: Never trust a Snake!
Vader takes a swing at Jake but he ducks. Austin tags himself in. Beefcake gets up and falls into his corner. Hogan tags back in.
As he goes to step in, Sid steps in as well and shoves Hogan aside!
VENTURA: Good, Hogan keeps trying to steal the spotlight from Sid!
Austin punches Sid, Hogan punches Sid, Austin punches Hogan…then everyone gets in the ring! Vader hits Beefcake in the ribs, throws him out of the ring and follows.
GENE: We’ve got a free for all now!
VENTURA: And Piper’s loving it!
Jericho gets in the ring but before he can assist Sid, Michaels tackles him to the mat and they exchange punches. The Anvil hits a shoulder block to Sid, then goes for another but Sid sidesteps and throws him out! He lands right at the feet of Demolition. They try to get him up, but the Anvil doesn’t trust them and shoves them away! Demolition exchange looks…then begin to beat the Anvil down with double axehandles!
GENE: Hey come on!
Bret runs over and helps the Anvil!
VENTURA: We have the Hart Foundation fighting Demolition!
Anvil is brawling with Ax and Bret is trading blows with Smash. Slaughter and Goldust end up brawling in one corner of the ring. Goldust is knocked through the ropes but lands on his feet and pulls Sarge under the bottom rope, unloading with punches to the wound on his head! Michaels and Jericho roll out and trade blows on the floor. Haku comes over to try and break up the fight between the Harts and Demolition but Smash punches him in the face. Haku unloads with chops to the chest and Smash fights back.
VINCE: The enforcers are supposed to be breaking up fights between team members but now they’re fighting each other!
In the ring, Jake doubles the Genius over with a knee and sets up for a DDT but gets clotheslined by Savage! Savage goes to the top rope and goes for the Flying Elbow but Jake moves! Savage crashes and burns! Genius tries to help him but Cactus spins him around and hits a Double Arm DDT!
GENE: That’ll be it for the Genius!
Jake hits Savage with the DDT! He tries to cover him but Vader pulls Jake out! Jake ducks a right hand, hits a few jabs…Vader fires back but Jake ducks and Vader ends up hitting Ron Simmons, who was on his way to break up the fight! Simmons staggers back holding his face, shouts “DAMN!” then attacks Vader! Jake joins Simmons in a double team on Vader! In the ring, Hogan, Sid and Austin are in a three way punchout while Piper is just laughing!
Steamboat comes over to try and break things up. He tries to pull Jake away, but the Snake turns and hits him!
GENE: Don’t forget that Jake Roberts and Ricky Steamboat once had a very bitter feud!
Steamboat fires back with chops to the chest and now he and Jake are in a full fledged brawl!
Michaels stumbles into Bret Hart after being shoved by Jericho! Bret thinks Michaels was attacking him and hits him with a big right hand! HBK fires back and now they begin to brawl!
In the ring Austin hits a low blow on Hogan and backs Sid up with punches, but Sid knees him and tries for a powerbomb. Austin twists free, kicks Sid and goes for the Stunner, but Sid shoves Austin off into a head to head collision with Hogan!
VENTURA: Both Hogan and Austin are stunned now!
Sid looks around as both Hogan and Austin struggles to their feet, smiles….
SID POWERBOMBS HOGAN!
GENE: WHAT!?
VENTURA: HAHA! Sid was tired of Hogan trying to steal the glory so he took him out! I love it!
Austin hits a few right hands on Sid…then out of nowhere Cactus hits a Cactus clothesline and both he and Sid go over the ropes! Foley reaches under the ring…and pulls out a barbed wire bat!
GENE: What on earth!?
VINCE: Sid tried to do some serious damage to Cactus Jack earlier and I think he is looking to retaliate!
Sid sees it, ducks a wild swing and kicks Cactus. The two maniacs struggles for the barbed wire bat. In the ring, Hogan is getting up….
STUNNER!
Austin makes the cover.
VENTURA: NO ONE ELSE SEES IT!
1………………………..2…………………………….
HOGAN KICKS OUT AND HULKS UP! AUSTIN CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
VENTURA: NO!
Austin hits a few punches that have no effect. Hogan points and says, “YOU!” The Hulkster unloads with three huge punches, sends Austin into the ropes, hits a big boot…then the legdrop! 1…………………………2………………………
2.9999………………………….
AUSTIN KICKS OUT!
GENE: This is unbelievable!
Hogan is amazed! On the floor all of the brawls are still going on and no one is aware of what’s going on inside the squared circle. Seeing this, Hogan slams Austin, then goes for another legdrop…
AUSTIN MOVES! HOGAN WRITHES IN AGONY.
VENTURA: He missed! Come on Austin!
Both men get up…
Austin kicks Hogan…
STONE COLD STUNNER!
VINCE: Can Hogan kick out of the second Stunner?
1………………………..
2…………………………
2.999………………………..
3!
VINCE: AUSTIN PINS HOGAN!
FINK: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS, THE TEAM OF CACTUS JACK, VADER, GOLDUST, JIM THE ANVIL NEIDHART, JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERST AND THE FIRST EVER WWE LEGENDS CHAMPION STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
The brawls all stop on the floor and everyone turns to look in disbelief at the ring, realizing that Austin has just pinned the Hulkster.
Piper gets the Legends Belt and hands it to Austin.
GENE: In his home state of Texas, Stone Cold Steve Austin is inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame one night and becomes the first Legends Champion the next night by pinning the Immortal Hulk Hogan! What a weekend for that man!
Austin raises the belt and then signals for beer. He catches two cans, cracks them open and pours them both into his mouth.
His teammates get in the ring. Austin looks at them and sees they are grudgingly applauding him. Hogan leaves with Beefcake, Savage and the Genius leave together looking pissed off, Slaughter walks off wiping blood from his eyes, and Sid glares back at the ring with hatred before Jericho convinces him to leave. Bret has words with Shawn on the floor and Michaels is trying to explain that Jericho pushed him into Bret. The other enforcers walk off.
Bret finally gets in the ring to congratulate Austin.
Stone Cold waves for a cooler. He opens it and tosses a beer to each of his teammates.
VINCE: Will they accept or will we see another free for all?
One by one they open their cans and drink.
GENE: Austin may be the one who gets the belt but let’s not forget that all of the members of this team are going into the record books as winners at the 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania! That’s a huge accomplishment.
Austin walks over the broadcast table and gives a beer to JR. He stands up, clinks cans with Austin and has a beer with him.
VENTURA: Why don’t you go have a beer with him Vince?
VINCE: I’d just as soon get through tonight without getting a Stunner. I’ll congratulate Austin from here.
As Austin heads up the aisle, he catches a couple more airborne beer cans and drinks them. On the stage he turns back and raises the Smoking Skull Belt.
JR cuts in now: By God, STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD HAS BEEN CROWNED THE FIRST EVER LEGENDS CHAMPION AND HE PINNED HULK HOGAN! WHAT A MOMENT!
A commercial for Bad Blood, the next PPV, airs…
Backstage Vince and Shane are talking.
SHANE: The people could hardly believe you were out there. I couldn’t believe the reaction.
VINCE: I know and it was awesome to just soak up the response. I like spending time with the grandkids and enjoying myself but it was an adrenaline rush to just walk back out there after so long…I don’t miss the fighting and the headaches but I miss that rush…
Shane’s face suddenly goes pale as Cindryn walks by them.
In a good mood, Vince says hello to her. She nods politely.
“Hi Vince. Shano…”
Vince’s jaw drops, his eyes go wide with fright, and he turns around slowly to see Kane standing there.
VINCE: Uh, Kane…
SHANE (stammering): H-Hey, Kane…how’s it going?
Kane glares.
VINCE (nervously): You look ready to rip someone to shreds!
KANE: And you look a lot better than you did the last time I saw you!
Vince gulps a bit. Shane goes to say something, then decides to just keep his mouth shut.
KANE: I’m surprised to see you back here. You wouldn’t be thinking of trying to run the show and screw with people’s lives again, right Vince? Because that would really piss me off.
SHANE: No no Kane it’s not like that, he’s retired and I’m really happy to just stick to working in marketing…
KANE: Is your name Vince?
Shane shuts up.
VINCE: Look Kane, I meant what I said out there about being happy with my retirement. I’m more than happy to let other people handle all the head aches of actually dealing with the wrestlers. I’m enjoying the good life now, just like you, well at least before this idiot decided to stick his nose in your life. (Kane tenses up) Wait, hold on, calm down. There’s no need for this to get physical…actually I’ll even admit I was wrong to screw you out of the WWE title, when the financial returns came in for the time period you had the belt ratings and ticket sales actually turned out to have gone up…so I made a rare mistake! I’m human.
Kane just glares at him.
VINCE: Look let’s let bygones be bygones, that was years ago! And for the record I hope you kick that son of a bitch’s ass tonight!
KANE: Oh you do? Well then you’ll enjoy what happens…I’ll make him suffer the way I made both of you suffer.
Kane smiles dementedly. The McMahons don’t look very happy at all. Shane forces himself to say something that hopefully won’t make Kane mad.
SHANE: Yeah, that would be great…you didn’t bring a car battery did you?
KANE: No.
SHANE: Just checking. That bygones thing applies to me too…I’m over that whole getting torn apart in the cell…I feel like we can get past all of that and really be tight, you know?
VINCE: Right and in hindsight we really made a memorable Wrestlemania moment together right? Even though it was forced on me I even learned to take the time to appreciate the important things in life like spending time with my grandkids so, um, no hard feelings…
KANE: No hard feelings? And you’re thanking me for teaching you that life lesson, right Vince?
VINCE: Uh, yeah sure whatever you say…
KANE: If you really want to thank me and make up for old times, why don’t you do me a favour?
VINCE: Wha---what favour?
KANE: Why don’t you call my match?
Vince and Shane exchange shocked looks. Vince looks back at Kane in disbelief.
VINCE: You want me to call the match?
KANE: Who else would be able to give more insight into facing justice at the hands of the Brothers of Destruction than you? You could give them first hand insight into the suffering Toshio is going to experience! When he feels unbearable agony that will make him curse the night he was conceived, you’ll be able to tell everyone who bears witness to the match exactly how it feels to be in his place!
VINCE (very uncomfortable): Uh, sure I could do that…but you know it took me months of painful rehab to get over the beating you gave me dammit!
KANE: Good. That was the idea. What’s your point?
VINCE: Well you could do something for me to bury the hatchet too.
KANE: Don’t push it Vince. I might just “bury the hatchet” in the middle of your face!
VINCE: I was just going to say I want you to make sure he suffers as much as I did for disrespecting my industry when it’s my company that pays his damn paychecks!
KANE: You’re in luck then. I was planning just that. But for me, Cindryn, my brother and my father…not for you.
VINCE: I can live with that as long as he gets his. Ok then deal.
He offers his hand. Kane glares…then shakes it. Vince’s jaw clenches until Kane releases the hand shake.
KANE: Shano…
He claps Shane on the shoulder in a “friendly” way, knocking him against the wall, then walks off.
When is out of sight Vince wrings his aching hand.
VINCE: Dammit!
SHANE: What’s wrong?
VINCE: That big son of a bitch almost crushed my hand!
The scene cuts to the Evolution locker room where Randy Orton is getting warmed up for his WWE title match later in the night. Flair and Lesnar walk in. Flair shakes Orton’s hand.
FLAIR: Are you ready Randy?
ORTON: You bet I’m ready. Tonight is my night.
LESNAR: Evolution’s night.
ORTON: Right. Of course Brock. (he rolls his eyes when the big man can’t see)
FLAIR: You know we’ve got your back right?
ORTON: Yeah but listen. This is important. I need to win this myself. I know I can do it. After tonight the whole world will know it. But unless one of those bloodsucking freaks or someone Edge hired shows up, just support me from back here.
FLAIR: You sure about this?
ORTON: Yeah I’m sure. And I’m confident. Just wait back here, cheer me on, and keep the champagne on ice because tonight we’re going to celebrate Randy Orton becoming the WWE Champion!
FLAIR: You’ve got that right…WOOOOO!
Next the scene goes to Edge in his locker room, studying pictures of himself when he was champion…and the provocative coffin photo Ariel sent him. Maria walks in.
MARIA: Hi Edge.
He jumps.
EDGE: Maria don’t you knock!?
MARIA: Why so jumpy? Are you nervous for tonight?
EDGE: Nervous? Why should I be nervous, because Team Edge has been taken out one by one, because Kevin Thorn has an..an army of Bloodsucking freaks with him and because Orton has Evolution while I have NO BACKUP! Because Thorn says he’s going to scar me for life? No I have nothing to be nervous about.
MARIA: So…you and Ariel huh?
EDGE: Like I told Joey Styles, I won’t kiss and tell…(Edge sees she looks doubtful)…Oh you don’t believe me? You saw her lick my lips, you see this card she sent me with a photo of herself…you saw her use my spear tonight and touch herself oh so sexually…and you still don’t believe? Well fine…I might not KISS and tell, but after I win the WWE title tonight, well…maybe I’ll show and tell…yeah, maybe I’ll get Ariel to come out to the middle of the ring for a Live Sex Celebration! And let me tell you this, for that night I will be the Rated X Superstar…yeah, you people will be left with the image of my live sex celebration and the sound of Ariel screaming my name…for the entire duration of the broadcast! Because when you share a passion like we have, well your stamina is just endless!
MARIA: Umm…have you ever actually slept with Ariel?
Edge looks angry that Maria doesn’t seem to believe him.
EDGE: Let me ask you a question. Are you religious?
MARIA: Not really…
EDGE: Well let me tell you a Bible story. There was an apostle known as Doubting Thomas because he wouldn’t believe in the miracles of Jesus unless he saw them. You’re a doubting Thomas but you’ll believe it when you see me “spear” Ariel over and over! Now if you don’t mind I have a match to get ready for!
Maria leaves looking unconvinced while Edge looks like he is trying to convince himself.
The scene cuts to the locker room of the champion. Thorn is standing alone in the candle light, his fangs bared in an almost inhuman snarl…
LOVE HER OR LEAVE HER MATCH: VAMPIRO VS HANNIBAL
JR: You know the Great thing about tonight is that every match has that Main Event feeling to it.
JBL: You bet your sweet ASS, Jimmy this is Wrestlmania the grand daddy of them all.
JR: And one of its staples is that Wrestlemania is a place to end long standing feuds and I can’t think of any one more personal than that of Vampiro and Hannibal. Lets take a look.
A video package airs to the song “Love them leave them” by Kiss. The clips include Vampiro vowing to leave Morganna at Summerslam. The beginnings of her relationship with Hannibal. Vampiro’s return at Survivor Series. The brutal beating in a parking lot that Vampiro took at the hands of both Hannibal and Morganna. Hannibal burning precious memorabilia of Vampiro’s and the infamous bedroom promo. Clips from their match at the Royal Rumble, which Hannibal won. Followed up with Vampiro getting a quick roll up on Hannibal in a mixed tag match. We then see Hannibal destroying Vampiro’s friends the ICP and then delivering a post match beat down on Vampiro. Next we see Vampiro defeating Bruce Hart and then a bloody Hannibal standing over a defeated and even bloodier Abdullah the Butcher.
It then shifts to Vampiro standing in front of the crucifix making the sign of the upside down crucifix. The video ends with an images of both men face to face and Morganna’s image is in the middle.
JR: My god after seeing the Hell Vampiro has been put through all in one video I can’t understand just why he’s put himself through it.
JBL: Look few people know more about the relationship of Vampiro and Morganna than I do, and I will say this, my old partner does love Morganna. I have seen it myself Jimmy the man has it bad.
JR: It’s really is one of the strangest love triangles I have certainly seen John.
Backstage we see a despondent Morganna pacing back and fourth by the entrance way.
JBL: Well there you see our Hellish Helen of Troy and I want to know where does Morganna stand on this one?
JR: We have heard from Hannibal himself that he had a fight with Morganna and we all know how pleased she was with that stunt with that fan named Crystal.
JBL: Well that’s a far cry from the things she’s done to Vampiro. I don’t know Jimmy but I agree this love triangle is weirder than the one in Bermuda.
Morganna makes her way to the ring to no music or fan fare.
Lillian: The following match is a love her or leave her match. The winner of the match will get the right to be with Morganna and the loser must vow to never pursue her again. Introducing first from Ottawa, Ontario Canada, weighing 295 pounds. He is the Extreme Rules Champion the Apocalyptic Nightmare, Hannibal.
Ironman blasts over the P.A and Hannibal comes out and taunts the crowd, even feigning a punch at some teenage boys. Morganna plants a peck on the cheek before he gets in the ring and poses on the top rope taunting the fans further.
JR: Hannibal sure looks confident tonight.
JBL: Why shouldn`t he, in one on one competition the score is Hannibal one and Vampiro zero.
JR: If you ask me Hannibal`s key to success is to stay on Vampiro. The man may have a track record for being a sadistic brawler but he is also an outstanding mat wrestler.
JBL: And Jimmy he`s nearly 300 pounds of solid muscle, when a guy like him slaps on a move like the Cobra Clutch he can cause serious neck damage in no time.
JR: And Hannibal would love to make Vampiro tap out as much as Morganna wanted to do the same to Absinthe.
JBL: Well frankly I may never again be a member of the Vampiro fan club, but he is not the give up type and from what we heard from him in that church Vampiro isn`t going to tap. Just the same a human is human and he could pass out should Hannibal lock him in one of his trade mark holds.
Lillian: Now introducing his opponent from Thunder Bay Ontario Cannada, weighing 257 pounds, The Living Vampire, Vampiro.
The Lights turn off soon a spot light is cast on the stage and a band takes the stage.
JR: What in the world?
JBL: I don`t believe it J.R it’s the 69 eyes they sang Morganna’s original theme. Vampiro brought them back. I have to hand to Vampiro, he has it bad.
JR: Well I guess that’s a romantic gesture for sure.
JBL: And was that a smile I just saw on the face of Morganna, can we get a replay I am sure I saw one.
The band plays the song the Lost Boys as Vampiro makes his entrance to a tremendous pop.
Vampiro comes out dressed in his old WCW attire and is wearing a spiked leather jacket. He gets on the stage and poses with the band. Vampiro heads to the ring and he picks up a steel chair.
JBL: Hey come on fang face, this isn’t an extreme rules match. What’s he doing with that damn chair?
Vampiro walks towards Morganna and opens it.
JBL: Oh I am going to be sick.
Morganna actually takes a seat but shakes her head.
JR: Now that’s what a real gentleman is made of John.
JBL: Are you kidding me, this is the same guy that wrote slut all over Misha’s naked body. This is the same guy that set Morganna up to be molested by the WWE’s female rapists Angelina and you are calling him a gentleman?
JR: People Change John.
JBL: Not in my book Jimmy.
JR: Earlier we discussed what Hannibal needs to do to win, what does Vampiro need to do John.
JBL: He needs to keep the pace fast, strike hard and quick JR. Vampiro is a master of a variety of different styles of fighting and he needs to use them all to keep Hannibal off his game.
JR: That’s a good point John, Vampiro is not going to match hold for hold with Hannibal nor is he going to be able to out muscle the larger Hannibal. Still if you ask me from the look in Vampiro’s eyes I got to think he wants it just that much more.
JBL Never underestimate how good Morganna is in the sack JR, maybe that’s all the motivation Hannibal needs.
JR: You really are a fine example of the human condition.
JBL: I am a God Jimmy never forget that.
DING DING
The match begins with Vampiro shoving the ref out of the way. He circles Hannibal who advances and Vamp stuns him with a quick kick to the leg, then another to the left leg and as Hannibal hunches forward Vamp leaps up with an Enzguri that brings Hannibal down to his knees.
JBL: He has him down already!?
Vampiro begins to rain down fists to the face and Hannibal covers up and rolls the outside.
JR: Vampiro has been waiting for this for sometime, John.
JBL And you don’t think that Hannibal hasn’t been?
Just like that Vampiro runs and leaps over the ropes and hits a slingshot plancha.
JR: Vampiro has come out full force John and listen to these fans my god they are loving this.
Vampiro gets off Hannibal and he lays in a kick to the gut. He grabs Hannibal by the head and tries to crash it off the steel steps, but Hannibal blocks the attempt with his two hands. He then unleashes an elbow to the chin that backs up Vampiro. Hannibal then runs him over with a clothesline. He picks up Vampiro and tosses him in the ring. Hannibal gets back in the ring and fires off a punch to the head,stunning Vampiro as he gets to his feet. Hannibal whips Vampiro off the ropes and tries for a clothesline but Vamp ducks it and comes back hitting a spin wheel kick.
Vampiro goes for a quick cover.
1....
2...
Kick out.
JR: Vampiro with a very early quick cover, nearly just won that match.
JBL: Oh please he’s going to have to do a lot better than that to win this match.
Vampiro picks up Hannibal and fires off a clubbing blow to the back. He then locks in a front face lock and hits a neck breaker. Vampiro goes for another pin.
1....
2...
Kick out.
JBL: Well what Vampiro is doing here is actually smart. Every time he goes for a pin he forces Hannibal to expend that much more energy.
JR: You sound surprised John.
JBL: Well I figure he must of picked that up from me.
Vampiro stomps away at Hannibal’s back and goes to the top rope. He measures Hannibal for a diving clothesline and leaps off the top rope. However, Hannibal catches him in mid air and hits a huge powerslam.
JR: My god what power!! That’s a 250 pound man and Hannibal just slammed him with ease.
1………………..2……………shoulder up! Vampiro holds his back in pain and Hannibal gets up with a big smile on his face. He picks up Vampiro, tosses him off the ropes and takes him down with a belly to belly Suplex and floats over into a front face lock.
JBL: Now we are seeing what makes Hannibal so unique; he may be a sadistic loud mouth but like so many Canadian wrestlers the man is flawless technician.
Hannibal begins to do a little trash talking:
Hannibal: Vampiro just give up now, and get out of Morganna`s life. She`s mine and mine alone.
Vampiro refuses to quit and slowly gets himself to a vertical position while Hannibal still has the hold locked in. Vampiro pushes Hannibal off and runs off the ropes, but runs right into a big boot. Hannibal rubs his hands together and then gets to one knee and locks in an inverted face lock and a body scissors.
JR: He`s like a damn Anaconda squeezing the life out of him.
Vampiro still refuses to give up and with his hands he pulls himself closer and closer to the ropes.
JBL: JR that`s a near 300 pounds of muscle ripping at your neck and damaging your ribs, if this keeps up its going to be a very short and one sided match up. You know this reminds me of some of the strategy Morganna tried against Absinthe earlier.
JR: Yeah but she lost.
JBL: It’s still sound strategy dammit!
Amazingly Vampiro gets to the ropes. Hannibal of course uses the full count before letting go.
Vampiro gasps for air as Hannibal offers himself a congratulating applause.
JBL: Don`t gloat yet damn it, the match isn`t over to the fat lady sings and I don`t see Mrs. Ross offering us a serenade.
JR: You really are the god of jerks if you ask me.
Vampiro gets to his feet and Hannibal lays in a shot to the back, then connects with a knee to the gut. He backs Vampiro into a corner and lays in a chop to the chest, but it seems to fire Vampiro up. Vampiro shouts in rage and Hannibal delivers another one and again Vampiro`looks even more intensified. Hannibal goes for a big time hey maker but Vamp ducks it, spins him around and connects with a spin kick to the gut. Vamp unloads with big time rights and lefts, knocking Hannibal to his butt. He then begins to stomp away at Hannibal and the referee backs of Vampiro a bit. As Hannibal gets up Vampiro runs full force, hits a Stinger Splash and lets out WOOOO!!!
JR: A big time Stinger Splash by Vampiro.
JBL: No doubt mocking his long time adversary, I swear he better not pull out any of my moves or I will sue his ass for trademark infringement.
Hannibal comes out of the corner holding his stomach in pain and Vampiro takes him by the head and bashes it off the turnbuckle then sends him to the outside, tossing him through the middle rope. Vampiro pursues Hannibal and crashes his head off the apron and gets another kick to the ribs. He tosses Hannibal in the ring and climbs to the top rope. He leaps off and hits a huge splash.
Vampiro holds his ribs in pain, but slowly goes for a cover.
1....
2....
2..5
Kick out.
JR: I am not sure who got the worse of that one. Hannibal early on had done a lot damage to Vampiro`s ribs and mid section. I think Vamp made an emotional mistake using a splash.
Vampiro picks up Hannibal, whips him off the ropes and connects with a flying forearm and follows it up with running cork screw elbow drop. Vamp hooks the leg.
1....
2....
Shoulder up.
Vampiro stomps away at the face of Hannibal and tries for a snap suplex, but Hannibal blocks it. Vamp tries again but Hannibal counters with an Elbow and then lifts Vamp up and hits suplex of his own.
JBL: I have said it before and I will say it again, I always was the brains of our team. What on Earth was he thinking, trying to suplex Hannibal like that, when he knows how hurt his ribs are!?
JR: Vampiro is wrestling on a lot of emotion here, and sometimes that may just cause him to make a mistake, but it sure is understandable in my books.
JBL: WHAT BOOKS ARE THOSE? HARLEQUIN ROMANCE? COME ON!
Hannibal takes Vampiro out with a double leg take down again he locks in a body scissors. He tries to get the front face lock but Vampiro keeps fighting him off. Hannibal then unloads with a shot the back of the head that has Vamp seeing stars. Hannibal picks up Vampiro and muscles him into the corner and begins to choke the life out of him. The ref quickly orders him to break the hold and he does at a count of 4.
Hannibal then grabs the knuckle of Vampiro and applies a Greco-Roman Knuckle Lock. Vamp screams in pain and drops to his knees.
JR: That`s one hell of a handshake John.
JBL: And a sure fire way to break a few metacarpals while you are at it too.
Hannibal continues to apply the pressure and laughs at Vampiro. “ I guess you will never get to offer your HAND in marriage to Morganna now ha ha”
JR: As bad as that hold is I have to think Hannibal’s jokes are even worse.
Vampiro refuses to give up and finds the strength to get to his feet. Hannibal lifts Vampiro up in the air with one hand by his hand and slams him down to the mat, back first.
JR: That’s raw power.
Hannibal goes for a pin.
1.....
2....
Shoulder up..
Vampiro crawls to the ropes holding his ribs and hand in pain and Hannibal runs and leaps on his back. He then rams his knee into the back of Vampiro’s neck and chokes him with the middle rope. The ref backs him off and he picks up Vampiro and slams him, going for another cover.
1....
2....
2...99
Shoulder up.
Hannibal goes back to a rear chin lock, burying his knee into the back of Vampiro for extra pressure.
JBL: So far Hannibal has done exactly what he needs to do to win here and that is stay right on Vampiro.
Vampiro refuses to give up despite Hannibal shouting at him to do so. He gets to his feet and Hannibal shifts the chin lock to a sleeper.
JBL: Nighty Night Vampiro, Hannibal has that Sleeper synched in perfectly.
JR: Oh do you have to take such joy in the man`s suffering?
JBL: I don`t have to but I sure do like it.
Hannibal: Come on Vampiro go to sleep, because you are only going to see Morganna again in your dreams.
JR: I have to wonder if Morganna picked up all this trash talking from being around Hannibal.
The ref now goes to check the arm of Vampiro.
It goes up and down once, twice but on the third time Vamp keeps it up. His body shakes and he buries a series of elbow to the chest of Hannibal freeing himself. Vampiro runs off the ropes and ducks a clothesline. He comes back and Hannibal catches him and lifts him up for a military Press Slam, but Vampiro escapes down the back and out of nowhere hits a reverse DDT.
JR: MY GOD, WHAT A COUNTER.
JBL: But Vampiro hasn’t even got a clue where he is.
Vampiro slowly crawls for a cover and gets one arm on Hannibal.
1.....
2....
Shoulder up.
Vampiro slowly gets to his feet as Hannibal gets to his. Vamp unloads with a right and Hannibal fires right back. Vamp lets loose with kick to the leg, then chop to the chest, then a headbutt backing Hannibal against the ropes. Vampiro runs off the ropes and sends Hannibal over with a huge clothesline.
JR: Vampiro is digging deep to get back in this match.
JBL: Yeah, Yeah,
Vampiro climbs to the top rope and comes off it with a double Ax Handle to the back of Hannibal. He whips Hannibal right into the steel steps back first.
JR: I will never enjoy the sound of human flesh connecting with solid steel but knowing its Hannibal making the noise doesn’t sound as bad to me.
JBL: How about some impartiality?
JR: ME? How about…oh forget it.
Vampiro then moves in and unloads with a kick to the head that whips Hannibal’s head back against the steps.
Vampiro tosses Hannibal back in the ring and again climbs to the top rope, waits for Hannibal to get up and hits a RVD like kick right to the face. He goes for a cover
1..
.2...
2..999
Shoulder up.
Vampiro then calls for the Nail in the Coffin making the sign of the upside down crucifix.
He some how gets Hannibal off his feet but falls to the mat with Hannibal landing on him.
1....
2....
Kick out.
JBL: HA HA HAVampiro was just crushed by his own ego I love it. There is no way he’s going to hit the Nail in the Coffin on Hannibal forget it. Not with the beating he’s taken.
Hannibal gets to his feet first and takes out Vamp with a clothesline. He picks him up, muscles him into the corner, then lifts him on to the top rope. Hannibal then climbs on to the second rope and hits an amazing Belly to Belly suplex. Hannibal goes for a pin.
JBL: BALL FREAKIN GAME
1....
2...
2..99
Kick out
JR: HE KICKED OUT!! HOW DID HE DO IT? If you want to talk about guts, if you want to talk about passion. Well here it is right here, Vampiro is demonstrating this big time.
Hannibal can’t believe it and he now stands over Vampiro and raises his hand in the air. As Vampiro gets to his knees Hannibal connects with the CLAW HOLD!!!!
JR: This is one of Hannibal’s favorite moves.
JBL: Hannibal’s big mitts are squeezing every nerve in Vampiro’s face right now.
Hannibal: Ha, no girl is going to love you when I am done disfiguring you Freakpiro.
Hannibal continues to apply the pressure as Vampiro on his knees, twitches and shouts from the pain. The ref continues to see if he will tap but Vamp refuses. Vamprio slowly gets to his feet and Hannibal can’t believe it. The fans are all screaming VAMPIRO VAMPIRO!!!! Vamp kicks away at the legs repeatedly and escapes the hold. He runs off the ropes and tries for a clothesline but Hannibal ducks and locks in THE COBRA CLUTCH.
JBL: The Claw Hold now the Cobra Clutch, some one call the boys in Iraq because Vampiro is out of gas.
Hannibal begins to shake Vampiro violently.
Hannibal: Give it up Vampiro, Morganna’s is mine. She will never be yours again. SHE”S MINE YOU HEAR ME!!!!?
Vampiro shouts: NEVER and with a feat of superhuman strength he lifts Hannibal up on his back and rams him back first into the turn buckle, breaking the hold.
JR: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!
JBL: ME NEIHER.
Hannibal slowly gets to his feet and Vamp pulls himself up with the help of the rope. He charges at Hannibal for spinning heel kick but Hannibal ducks and Vampiro takes out the referee.
JR: Oh we have no referee now, what are we going to do?
Vampiro goes to wake up the ref and Hannibal uses the distraction to get a low blow. He then spins Vampiro around and hits a gutwrench power bomb.
Hannibal goes for a pin and the ref slowly makes a count.
1.......
2......
2...99
JR: NO Not like this!
Shoulder up.
JBL: Come on Vampiro hit the referee he should be disqualified damn it.
JR: It was an accident come on.
The ref collapses again and Hannibal goes to the outside. He then shouts at Morganna to give him her chair.
JR: Come on this is ridiculous.
Morganna stands up and Hannibal grabs the chair. Just then Morganna yanks it out of his hands from behind and shouts “ NO!!”
Hannibal is shocked.
Morganna: If you want me, then beat him with your own hands.
Hannibal can’t believe it and shouts, “GIVE ME THE DAMN CHAIR!”
Morganna: NO!!!!
Hannibal pushes Morganna to the side and brings the chair into the ring.
JR: WHAT A JERK!!!
He measures Vampiro with it but Morganna gets on the apron and takes it right out of his hands in mid swing.
JR: I don’t believe it Morganna just saved Vampiro!?
JBL: How is that for gratitude? Women they are nothing but trouble. Except for my beautiful wife Meredith…she’ok with the next Mrs Layfield jokes but I don’t want to sleep on the couch of our penthouse when I get back to New York, even though my couch is more luxurious than your bed HAHA!
JR: How about we focus on the match!?
Hannibal is irate and shouting at Morganna, just then Vampiro spins Hannibal around and unloads with a super kick right to the chin.
JR: Shawn Michaels couldn’t have executed a better super kick than that one right there.
Vamprio then goes to the top rope and comes off with a huge double leg drop.
He goes for the cover and the referee slowly counts.
1......
2......
2....99
3...
Lillian: Here is your winner, VAMPIRO.
JR: Believe in fairy tales folks. At Wrestlemannia Love has won out this is one of the greatest moments in Wrestlemania histoy.
Vampiro is spent and has to use the ropes to get up as Morganna is heading towards the back. Just then the fans are all chanting “KISS HIM” Morganna turns around at entrance way and stands looking in the ring as Vampiro gets to his feet.
JR: I think if nothing else Morganna can see which man loves her and which man only wanted her body…
The “Kiss him” chant continues and Morganna runs as quick as her injured body can take her and Vamp holds the ropes open for her and the two Kiss..
JBL: I am going to be sick.
JR: John PUT A SOCK IN IT! Believe in miracles folks Vampiro and Morganna are back together.
Fireworks explode as the two kiss and Hannibal regains consciousness just in time to see it all.
HALL OF FAME CLASS OF 2009
LILLIAN: Now to present the Hall of Fame class of 2009 please welcome Hall of Famers BOBBY THE BRAIN HEENAN AND JERRY THE KING LAWLER
JR: This will be interesting.
The King and the Brain each have a microphone. Both men get a pop from the crowd.
KING: Thank you very much for the reception. Bobby I just want to say it’s a pleasure to be able to host this segment with you.
HEENAN: Thank you. The pleasure is all yours.
Heenan grins at the camera and the King just smiles and shakes his head.
KING: Before we get down to this celebration let me just make one another announcement that’s worth celebrating. Tonight’s sell out attendance is 72,744! Give yourselves a big hand!
The crowd cheers.
HEENAN: Now let’s bring them out.
The Hall of Famers come out on the stage.
HEENAN: First from Amarillo Texas, two of the all time greats, Terry and Dory JR, the FUNK BROTHERS!
The Funks gets an ovation from the home state crowd.
KING: A legendary wrestler and promoter, COWBOY BILL WATTS!
HEENAN: If the World Wildlife Fund wanted to see some wildlife, they should have seen this guy, the birdman KOKO B WARE.
KING: Representing the legendary Von Erich Family, KEVIN VON ERICH
HEENAN: The guy with the most distinctive voice in wrestling next to myself, HOWARD FINKEL
LAWLER: You saw him earlier tonight and he looks like he should have been wrestling in that legends match, RICKY THE DRAGON STEAMBOAT!
Steamboat gets a huge ovation.
HEENAN: And the guy who won the Legends Championship, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
Wearing a suit, Austin steps forward, holds up a beer can and then has another drink, getting half of it on his suit.
HEENAN: Well you had to know that suit was getting ruined.
LAWLER: Let’s here a last round of applause for the Hall of Fame class of 2009!
Austin turns, walks backstage…then comes back out in a t-shirt with another cooler. He tosses a beer to each Hall of Famer inductee and they share a last toast.
JR: Well this has been a Hall of Fame introduction that we will never forget!
THE BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION VS TOSHIO AND UMAGA
Years ago, Toshio Sakamura helped a teenaged Cindryn fight off men who had hideous intentions. She was taken in by his parents, trained in the martial arts. They were as close as brother and sister, but Toshio wanted more. Thinking of him as a brother, Cindryn rejected these advances. She traveled to America where she achieved global fame in the WWE while also meeting the one person who could truly understand her. Kane. Together they actually found happiness and understanding. They were able to let go of the rage that had led them to their respective careers and prevented them from living normal lives.
But time did not change things for Toshio. His obsession with Cindryn grew. Before Cindryn officially retired from wrestling she went through a brief separation with Kane. Under the guise of friendship, he tried to get Cindryn to leave with him. She rejected the advance, reminding him that she loved Kane. Toshio would always be a brother to her. Furious, he drove off into the night and out of her life.
Cindryn and Kane would eventually marry and leave the WWE. But Toshio would not let go of his obsessions. After a chance meeting at a museum he was invited to a dinner at Cindryn and Kane’s home, taking every subtle chance to drive a wedge between husband and wife. Cindryn was blind to this while Kane seethed, recognizing what was going on but unable to do anything about it. Toshio even tried to exploit his father’s declining health, inviting Cindryn to come home to Italy with him-without Kane. She did not accept the offer, but remained blinded by a sisterly form of love. She clashed with Kane continuously until Toshio appeared in the WWE, revealing all of the details of their past and then challenging Kane to fight. She gave her blessing to Kane and he accepted the challenge to face Toshio at Summerslam 2007.
For Cindryn’s sake, Kane tried to win the match using his wrestling skills rather than seeking to destroy his rival. In the end, after a lengthy fight, Kane was poised to chokeslam his rival to hell. But seeing the pain in his wife’s eyes he released his grip and gave Toshio the chance to just walk away. It appeared that he was going to do just that, but no sooner had the smile crossed Cindryn’s face than Toshio turned and attacked Kane from behind. Toshio attempted a martial arts stomp but Kane blocked the blow and finally defeated him with the chokeslam. After the match Cindryn stood over the battered and beaten Toshio and made this declaration.
" How could you do this to me? How could you do this to Kane? This man, who you say is a brute and a monster, has been nothing but loving and understanding and gentle with me since we first met. He has gone out of his way to do things to make me happy. There is not a man in this arena who could even come close to loving me the way Kane does.”
“Your father would have been happy for me and given me his blessing. You are nothing like him now. What would he say if he saw you here? He wouldn’t know you either." Cindryn turns to leave but stops for a moment. She walks over to him and kneels down right in front of him and looks right into his eyes.
"I'll always love Toshio, but you are not him. If he ever comes back, tell him I’m thinking of him." Then suddenly she leans down and kisses him gently on the mouth.
Her choice had been clearly made, but Toshio seems to have misinterpreted the good bye kiss he received. Word has been leaked that he even tried to get his father to talk Cindryn into leaving Kane, leading to a falling out with his own parents when the elder Sakamura refused and lectured his son. When Mr. Sakamura fell ill, it was ironically Kane who paid for him to come to America and receive medical treatment. Of Toshio there was no trace…
Until he was discovered fighting in an underground league by non other than Paul Heyman. Heyman lured Toshio into the bright spotlight of the WWE, seeing him as a potential champion. But Toshio had no respect for the very industry paying his bills and affording him a luxurious lifestyle. He remained obsessed with getting revenge on Kane and gaining the love of Cindryn.
At the Royal Rumble, Toshio made a point of trying to eliminate the Undertaker as a message to Kane. But it was the Undertaker who ended up eliminating Toshio. In a fit of rage Toshio pulled the Undertaker out of the ring, robbing him of his chance to win the Royal Rumble. They fought but the Deadman was also attacked by Umaga, who had been eliminated by the Undertaker mere moments before Toshio. Earlier in the night the Deadman had also eliminated Armando Estrada, who had implied that Morganna had brokered a deal between himself and the Phenom. With the vengeful Estrada urging him on, Umaga joined Toshio in an attempt to destroy the legendary Undertaker, hitting a splash off the ringsteps to the floor and leaving the Deadman prone for Toshio’s martial arts stomp.
This heinous attack was enough to bring Kane out of retirement at his brother’s request. The Undertaker made the challenge with this simple pronouncement: “At Wrestlemania, you will face destruction….The Brothers of Destruction.”
But Toshio escalated the feud almost on a daily basis. He appeared on the Funeral Parlour, kicking Kane’s father and the Undertaker’s long time manager Paul Bearer into a casket, causing him to suffer a heart attack in the process. He appeared on the Peep Show, questioning how Cindryn could have fallen in love with Kane and speculating she was the victim of a spell or too much alcohol consumption. He vowed to “rescue” her from her marriage to Kane.
When Kane and the Undertaker interrupted a match on Saturday Night’ Main Event featuring Umaga and Toshio in tag team competition, it appeared that the Big Red Machine wouldn’t wait till Wrestlemania to destroy his rival. But the distraction of Pitbull Gary Wolfe, who was chokeslammed by Kane for interfering, enabled Toshio to knock Kane down with a martial arts kick and connect with the martial arts stomp while the Undertaker was fighting with Umaga. Toshio smiles arrogantly…until Kane sat up. The Brothers of Destruction lived up to their name, decimating officials and giving Gary Wolfe a spike Tombstone. Backstage Kane continued to hunt Toshio, interrogating the Miz, who was rescued by the Undertaker only to be thrown against a wall for thanking him. Toshio left the arena looking stunned but insisted he would destroy Kane.
Even after the terrifying display of the Big Red Monster’s anger, he continued to push and push, staging an elaborate fantasy scene in which Cindryn had left Kane for Toshio and Kane had degenerated into a mindless animal put on display by Toshio. He even attempted to turn Kane’s estranged student Morganna against her mentor.
His continued antics have only increased the rage of both Kane and the Undertaker. The Deadman appeared in the deserted funeral parlour vowing to destroy Toshio, later building a special casket and claiming that Toshio: “Shouldn’t worry about gaining that which is unobtainable, the love of my brother’s wife…he should worry about something that is even less obtainable…something that is even further from his grasp…HIS SURVIVAL!”
Kane was so enraged he also appeared on WWE television, declaring that:
” People say I’m a monster. People say I am a demented, sadistic, violent sociopath bent on destruction and torture. Some have even said I have a Jeckyl and Hyde personality.”
Kane looks down at the floor with a tortured frown on his face…then looks up with the twisted, evil smile most people hoped was just a memory.
“Those people are right. You’ve made me go back to the darkest places of my soul, the most sadistic recesses of my mind, places I never wanted to go back to. You have re-awakened the monster that has been in hibernation ever since I found my soul mate. People would condemn you for doing that, Toshio, condemn you out of fear for what might happen to them now that the monster is back. Except there won’t be anything left of you to condemn when I get done with you!”
The evil smile is gone now and replaced with an enraged sneer, another expression most people hoped never to see again outside of old footage. Kane’s voice rises the longer he keeps talking as the volcanic rage erupts out of him.
“Words can’t describe the anger I’m feeling, and there are no words to describe the horrors I am going to inflict on you! My brother said it best…you are going to suffer pain so severe you will wish you had never been born! You will rue the day of your birth and curse the night of your conception! Your future won’t look anything like the one you’re imagining! Your future doesn’t hold a relationship with your imagined version of Cindryn. Your future holds three things and these three things only!”
In a fit of rage, Kane raises both hands and throws them down violently, igniting flames around him as he would do in an arena.
“HELL, FIRE AND BRIMSTONE!”
Back in the arena, Vince McMahon has joined JR and JBL at the broadcast booth.
JBL: Mr. McMahon welcome back!
VINCE: Thank you, John.
JR: Notwithstanding your interaction with Kane earlier, I have to ask what your real thoughts are on this match.
VINCE: I think this is one of the most extraordinarily personal situations we have ever witnessed in the WWE and quite frankly I really do hope Toshio gets exactly what’s coming to him. I don’t see eye to eye with Kane by any means and I will never forget what he did to me, but I am on his side tonight. It’s one thing not to respect your opponents, but it’s another matter not to respect the very industry that gives you your livelihood and Toshio doesn’t respect the WWE or wrestling in general. I take that as a personal offence. As far as Kane goes, no matter what I think of him personally, at least he has been a huge asset to this company and he has given back to the business by training some of the most exciting competitors of the present and the future.
JR: I never thought I would live to see the day that Good Old JR, JBL and Mr. McMahon would all be in agreement on anything, but I think all three of us believe Toshio needs a trip to the woodshed.
JBL: Trip to the woodshed, Kane should lock him inside the woodshed and set it on fire!
JR: Both of the brothers of destruction can wrestle, but I think we aren’t going to see much scientific wrestling here.
VINCE: You’re right about that JR. I know from experience that Kane can demonstrate a hammerlock but in the frame of mind he’s in he’s likely to use a real hammer to do it.
FINK: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and there will be no count outs or disqualifications. Introducing first, the referee, TIM WHITE!
Tim White waves and gets a standing ovation.
JR: Tim White’s career as a referee came to an end inside of a Hell in a Cell match but, the owner of the Friendly Tap bar and grill is back tonight because no other referee wanted any part of this!
VINCE: I don’t blame those referees one bit. If I was still active in running things here I wouldn’t even fire them for refusing.
JBL: I think Tim White is just going to sit back, let ‘em fight and ring the bell when someone gets pinned or gives up.
FINK: Now introducing the manager…Armando Alejandro Estrada!
ESTRADA: Ladies and gentlemen, everybody listen to me! My name es Armando…Alejandro…ESSSSSTRRRRRAAADAAA! And at this time I want to introduce to you the next WWE champion and the man who will help destroy the Brothers of Destruction, my Samoan Bulldozer….UUUUUUMAGAAAA!
Umaga comes out to his signature theme music, slaps the steps with both hands, utters a savage war cry and gets in the ring.
JBL: As imposing as his opponents are, we can’t forget that Umaga is just as imposing.
JR: At 350 agile and ferocious pounds Umaga may well be the wild card here. If the Undertaker and Kane are too focused on dismantling Toshio this man could be the difference.
VINCE: They won’t be. They’re smart enough to know they can’t overlook a 350 pound savage. That being said this is going to be one hell of a war.
FINK: And his tag team partner, accompanied by his manager Paul Heyman, from Italy, weighing 245 pounds, TOSHIO SAKAMURA.
Toshio walks out looking confident. Heyman looks terrified and stays very close to Toshio.
JR: Like him or not…
JBL: No one likes him except himself and Heyman!
JR: Ok well notwithstanding the fact that he is an ass, this is one of the most dangerous competitors we have ever seen in the WWE and outside of his confrontations with the Brothers of Destruction he has looked to be utterly unstoppable.
Toshio slowly removes the robe he wears to the ring and takes the microphone.
JBL: Oh no…someone kill the mic and spare us whatever this jerk is going to say!
TOSHIO: Tonight I will destroy Kane while my partner Umaga deals with his brother. Then Cindryn will see the light and realize that I am the man she truly wants to be with. But Kane when you lose everything, I will prove that I am not the heartless man these people think I am. I will allow you to catch a glimpse of Cindryn now and then by offering you a job as my butler! You can see her in my arms where she really wants to be!
JR: This man is completely delusional.
VINCE: I would suggest he is in for a severe dose of reality.
Chanting now echoes loudly over the sound system as twenty five torch bearing druids walk out and stand along the stage.
VINCE: It’s getting very eerie here…
JBL: It’s one thing to talk trash but when you are standing in the ring seeing those druids and knowing whose arrival they are heralding you can’t help feeling goose bumps and having butterflies the size of eagles in your stomach!
JR: The confident look has not left Toshio’s face!
“OHHHH YESSS….”
JR: What?
A funeral dirge begins to play and Paul Bearer emerges from the back. He walks part way down to the ring.
JBL: I thought he was still in the hospital. Obviously he wants to be here in person to see Toshio get dismantled!
Bearer stops near ringside and says, “It’s all over for you Toshio!”
Toshio takes an angry step forward but flames explode from the posts, along the aisle and the stage, stopping him dead in his tracks as Bearer laughs.
Kane’s entrance theme begins to play.
FINK: Introducing the opponents, first, accompanied by Cindryn, weighing 326 pounds, KANE!
Kane walks out with Cindryn beside him and walks through the torches being held up by the druids. He is glaring with murderous intent at Toshio, who seems a bit taken aback that Cindryn is walking down at Kane’s side.
JR: Cindryn is not walking in front of or behind Kane, she is walking at his side and I think there is a message being sent there.
VINCE: I have to say even though Kane isn’t coming for me I feel very uncomfortable just looking at the expression on his face. I certainly do not envy Toshio right now and I would suggest Paul Heyman should start looking for a new client.
Heyman and Estrada convince their men to get out on the floor for a strategy talk.
Kane steps over the ropes, raises his hands and throws them down as flames erupt from the posts again. He glares at Toshio with his teeth clenched, and Cindryn is also glaring angrily at the man she once thought of as a brother. Toshio seems more taken aback by her anger than Kane’s.
A bell tolls and all the spotlights go out.
FINK: His partner, from Death Valley, weighing 299 pounds, THE UNDERTAKER
Undertaker walks out in his long coat and hat and walks to the ring through the assembled druids. Kane stands in their corner glaring across the ring at their opponents the entire time his brother is walking to the ring.
VINCE: It has gotten very eerie here…there is a chill in the air as the Undertaker makes his way to the ring.
JBL: Until you have actually stood across the ring as the Undertaker makes his entrance you have no idea at all what it’s like. It doesn’t matter who you are or how ready you are, it raises goosebumps on your flesh! I should know I’ve been there!
Undertaker climbs the steps as fog swirls around him and raises his hands, bringing the lights back. Paul Bearer gets in the ring with him and takes the Undertaker’s coat. Taker then takes his hat off, his eyes rolling back in his head as thunder rumbles.
JR: Many men are beaten before they ever make physical contact with the Demon of Death Valley. For my money there has never been a more intimidating presence in this business and you could make a strong case that the Undertaker could be the greatest of all time.
Kane and Taker exchange words and Umaga and Toshio get in the ring. The Brothers of Destruction attack immediately and Tim White signals for the bell.
JBL: The fight is on!
Kane is fighting Toshio and Undertaker is fighting Umaga. Kane lands a few punches, then Toshio retaliates with a few kicks and chops to the body of the Big Red Machine. Undertaker gets the better of the exchange of punches and unloads with a flurry of rights and lefts, staggering Umaga back into the ropes.
JBL: They don’t call the Undertaker the best pure striker in the WWE for nothing!
Kane hits Toshio with an uppercut that knocks him down hard.
VINCE: I’ve felt that uppercut, it would knock down a grizzly bear.
Kane pulls Toshio up and rams him into a turnbuckle. He goes for a big right hand but Toshio ducks, hits a few kicks to the ribs and a jump kick to the face. Umaga meawhile is fighting back with chops, a back kick to the stomach and a headbutt that staggers the Undertaker. Kane grabs Toshio by the throat and tosses him into the corner, hitting a kick to the stomach and another uppercut that buckles the martial arts expert’s knees. Umaga sends the Undertaker into the ropes, misses a clothesline and gets knocked down by a flying clothesline!
JR: That was vintage Undertaker!
Kane is unloading with heavy punches in the corner and Toshio is actually covering up.
JBL: Toshio came into this match with no respect for Kane or for professional wrestlers in general, but right now the Big Red Monster is beating that respect into him!
VINCE: Toshio is blocking the punches but I would think that it’s taking a toll on his forearms. He may not be getting hit in the face but those are crushing blows no matter where they land!
Kane slips one uppercut right up under Toshio’s guard and gets him in the face. Cindryn is actually encouraging her husband at ringside and so is Paul Bearer. Undertaker has Umaga backed into a corner and is going to work with elbows to the side of the head. Kane chokes Toshio with one hand while Undertaker chokes Umaga. Tim White isn’t even counting!
JR: Tim White was told to forget about the rule book and let this fight go and that’s exactly what he is doing.
The Brothers look at each other. Kane charges across the ring and hits a corner clothesline to Umaga while Taker hits one on Toshio. They then charge back to their original opponents, with Taker hitting the corner clothesline on Umaga and Kane hitting Toshio! Taker runs the ropes and hits a boot that sends Umaga out of the ring! The Deadman follows and rams Umaga into the ring steps, sending the big man stumbling into the barricade, then hits a boot that sends him over the barricade into the crowd.
Estrada and Heyman are both having a fit at ringside. Taker gets out onto the apron.
In the ring, Kane snapmares Toshio, runs the ropes and hits a low dropkick to the face. Instead of going for a cover, Kane chokes him with one hand on the mat, then hits a few stiff punches to the face. Kane picks Toshio up by the throat with both hands, holds him high in the air and chokes him, but Toshio hits a downward chop into the face to free himself. He hits a few kicks to the body, then sends Kane into the ropes and knocks him down with a spinning heel kick. He goes for a cover….1……….Kane throws him off and sits up.
JBL: This match is not going to end early, not one of these men will be easily beaten.
Toshio hammers Kane on the ropes with chops and kicks to the body, then hits a knee to the face. He goes to send Kane into the ropes, but the monster reverses and knocks Toshio down with a big boot as he runs back. Toshio gets up only to be knocked down with an uppercut. He falls into his own corner and Umaga tags in.
JR: The Big Red Machine and the Samoan Bulldozer are face to face here.
Umaga shoves Kane backwards into the ropes. Kane comes right back with a clothesline, but it doesn’t budge Umaga! The Samoan Bulldozer throws up his hands and lets out a savage war cry
JR: My God that clothesline from Kane didn’t even phase Umaga!
…but Kane hits him with an uppercut that sends spit flying into the air and stuns him.
JBL: The clothesline had no effect but the uppercut did!
Kane pounds Umaga back into the ropes. He goes to send him into the opposite ropes, but Umaga bulls him back into a belly to belly suplex! 1…………..2…………..Kane kicks out. Umaga hits a few hand thrusts, but Kane fires back with an uppercut. Umaga charges but Kane catches him with a modified belly to belly suplex over the ropes to the floor!
JR: Good God almighty, that’s a three hundred and fifty pound man he did that to!
Toshio runs in and kicks Kane in the back from behind, then hits a roundhouse kick that knocks him down. Undertaker spins Toshio around, hits a series of right and lefts, then throat tosses him over the ropes! Kane hits a baseball slide to Umaga, sending him crashing into Toshio! Both men fall into the aisleway. They struggle to their feet trying to clear the cobwebs.
VINCE: Oh oh, both Toshio and Umaga are out near the aisle.
Kane looks at Taker and nods. Taker runs the ropes…
AND DIVES OVER THE ROPES ONTO TOSHIO AND UMAGA AT RINGSIDE!
JR: MY GOD THE UNDERTAKER WENT AIRBORNE RIGHT ONTO BOTH MEN!
All three men are down as the crowd begins a “Holy Sh@!” chant. Toshio and Umaga are looking hurt and dazed. Taker rolls out of the way knowingly while they get up …
KANE DIVES OVER THE ROPES ONTO TOSHIO AND UMAGA!
JBL: DOUBLE YOUR PAIN AND DOUBLE THE BROTHERS’ PLEASURE! KANE WASN’T ABOUT TO BE OUTDONE!
Kane pulls Toshio up and rams his face into the steps. Toshio falls near Cindryn. Undertaker rams Umaga’s head into the apron, hits a few hard body shots, then gets him in the ring with his head hanging out over the edge of the apron. Taker drives an elbow into his throat, then kicks Umaga in the head. Kane picks Toshio up and rams his back into the apron…then the barricade…then back into the apron…then into the ringpost! As Toshio is leaning back on the steps in pain Kane connects with an uppercut that sends him falling over the steps to the floor!
VINCE: Take it from me, Kane is absolutely relentless when he has a vendetta. This brings back some bad memories…
Undertaker gets up on the apron with Umaga’s head still sticking out over the edge…
LEGDROP OFF THE APRON!
JR: The Brothers of Destruction are living up to their name now! They came into this match seeking retribution and so far they have been the aggressors while referee Tim White has just stood back and watched.
JBL: As he should do! Let em fight and forget about a bunch of sissy rules!
Kane rams Toshio’s face into the steps…then into the barricade…then back into the steps! Toshio falls face down to the floor but to his credit starts getting right back to his feet. Kane knocks Toshio back down with an uppercut and throws him into the ring. He follows. Toshio stumbles into the ropes in pain. Kane moves in but gets caught with a crescent kick to the stomach, then a high kick to the chest that staggers him. Toshio winds up his arm, hits a pair of kicks to the ribs and then a jumping kick to the jaw that knocks Kane down. 1………………..2…………….kickout. Toshio gets Kane down with a martial arts throw and drops a knee to the chest. 1………Kane kicks out.
JR: Don’t underestimate Toshio, he is as dangerous as they come.
Toshio hits a chop…Kane hits him with a big right hand, but Toshio hits a palm thrust to the throat and tags in Umaga.
VINCE: Toshio is quickly learning the value of a tag team partner here.
They hit a double kick to the chest that knocks Kane down. 1………….2………..kickout. Umaga backs Kane into a corner and hits a few chops, followed by a headbutt. He Irish whips Kane and charges in…Kane raises his boot but Umaga catches it…Kane counters with an enziguri!
JR: Kane’s agility is uncanny. Few men his size move as well.
JBL: Few men of any size can pull off the feats of agility we’ve seen from these two brothers JR.
Kane backs Umaga into the Brother’s corner with a choke, hits an uppercut, then tags in the Undertaker. Taker unloads with body shots, then winds up the arm to go for Old School. He climbs up…Umaga pulls him off, but Taker lands on his feet and armdrags Umaga!
VINCE: That was unbelievable!
Umaga gets up with a look of shock on his face. Taker tries to follow up with a clothesline but Umaga catches him with a reverse STO! 1………………2…………..kickout.
JR: This Umaga may be a savage but he is an incredible wrestler in his own right.
Umaga slams Taker near the ropes, then uses them to step up and hit a sit down splash to the chest. 1…………..2…………..Taker kicks out. Umaga hits a headbutt that staggers Taker back into the corner. Toshio hits Taker…but Taker fires back, connecting with punches to both Umaga and Toshio until Umaga catches him with a thrust kick to the face! 1………………2……………..kickout.
VINCE: I thought the Undertaker was going to fight his way out of that corner but he was shut down by that huge kick from Umaga.
JBL: Toshio and Umaga need to try and keep one of the brothers isolated and wear him down. I’m sure Toshio would rather do that to Kane, but if you get the Undertaker in any kind of trouble you can’t let him make a comeback.
Taker sits up, gets to his knees and hits a series of rapid fire body shots followed by an uppercut. Umaga staggers and Taker gives him a Reverse STO of his own! Umaga gets up but Taker kicks him in the chest, winds up his arm and repeatedly drives his shoulder into Umaga’s. He then pulls Umaga to the corner and climbs up.
JR: He got pulled off when he tried this earlier…
Taker connects with Old School! He tags in Kane. Kane comes in with a dropkick! Umaga staggers back into his corner and Toshio tags in. Kane is calling him to come on and fight.
Toshio rushes right at Kane and they exchange blows in the middle of the ring, Toshio using martial arts kicks and hand strikes and Kane firing off big punches. Kane gets the better of it and knocks Toshio down with a stiff uppercut.
VINCE: Toshio’s arrogance will be his downfall. He’s crazy to try and exchange blows toe to toe with Kane!
Kane whips Toshio into a corner and charges in with a clothesline. He chokes Toshio, then climbs up and begins to punch away with the fans counting….1…..2…3…4…5….6….7….8….9….10…
Instead of climbing down, Kane goes nuts and hits repeated lefts and rights to the head of Toshio.
JR: Unlike their first fight at Summerslam, this time Kane is not going to show any restraint at all. He’s been pushed too far!
He then climbs down, Irish whips Toshio and catches him coming out with a tilt a whirl into a front powerslam! Toshio tries to sit up, holding his back in pain with a look of shock on his face.
JBL: Tell me if you respect professional wrestlers or not now you no good piece of human excrement!
Kane chokes Toshio on the mat, then brings him to his feet, hits a knee lift, then a swinging neckbreaker. As Toshio sits up in pain holding his neck, Kane stands behind him and applies a neckvice. Kane does a bit of trash talking now: “I gave you the chance to walk away before you son of a bitch, this time you won’t walk out at all! Do you understand me Toshio!?”
JR: Shades of Demolition.
VINCE: Kane will twist his head right off if he can.
Toshio is actually screaming in pain, but manages to turn towards Kane and hits a martial arts punch to the stomach. Kane lets go of the hold and Toshio knocks him down with a jump kick. 1…………..2…………..Kane kicks out. Toshio kicks him back down as he sits up, then lifts his legs and stomps right on the “extreme lower abdomen”. He grins as he does it and glances at Cindryn.
JBL: That no good son of a bitch…hitting a low blow in front of the man’s wife and thinking it’s going to help him get her!
Kane starts to get up but Toshio stuns him with a roundhouse to the head that staggers the monster but doesn’t knock him off his feet, then leaps to the top rope. Toshio hits a spinning heel kick off the top rope!
1………………………..2……………………..Kane kicks out. Toshio stands behind him and applies a nerve hold with one hand and a top wristlock with the other. Kane fights up to his knees, tells Tim White to go to hell when he checks to see if he wants to give up, then uses his free hand to uppercut Toshio. This stuns Toshio and enables Kane to hit a huge side suplex!
VINCE: This has been a war so far and I have a feeling it will get more brutal before it ends.
Kane bodyslams Toshio and hits a huge legdrop to the chest. Toshio gets to his feet and Kane gives him a backbreaker, then picks him back up and drops him stomach first on the top rope. Kane stuns Toshio with a few punches, then goes to the top rope and leaps off with a flying fist to the back. The impact drives Toshio and the ropes downward, with the ropes then sending Toshio flying off the floor as they snap back up!
JR: My God what a sadistic move by Kane!
JBL: I kind of like it! Kane should do that over here so he crashes through an announce table when the ropes send him flying…
Kane goes out, picks Toshio up and rams his spine into the barricade over and over, then punches Toshio in the face and throws him back into the ring. Kane gets in and puts Toshio in the tree of woe, kicks him in the chest a few times while he is hanging upside down, then goes out to the floor, grabs Toshio’s head and pulls back! Heyman is screaming “ARE YOU INSANE! HE’S LIKE A BROTHER TO YOUR WIFE!” Paul Bearer is clapping his hands and smiling evilly.
VINCE: There will be no mercy from Kane here tonight, and to answer Paul Heyman’s question, yes he is insane. I know it from personal experience!
Umaga runs over to try and help but Taker meets him with a big right hand and tosses him over the barrier! The Deadman follows and pummels Umaga among the fans, then rams his head back into the barricade and clotheslines him back over to ringside! Toshio falls free from the tree of woe, but from ringside Kane grabs his feet and his chin and bends him backwards around the ring post, planting his own foot against the post to increase the pressure! Bearer shouts, “OHHHHH YESSSSSS SNAP HIM KANE!”
JBL: He’s going to break him in half!
Cindryn looks a bit uncomfortable. Toshio is screaming in pain. Heyman actually walks over towards Cindryn and is actually trying to get her to reason with Kane…until she fires off a warning kick in his general direction. Kane gets in the ring, bring Toshio to their corner, and tags Taker. Kane holds Toshio open for a vicious body shot from the Deadman. Taker then winds up the arm and hits Old School on Toshio!
VINCE: Well it looks like Kane wanted to share with his brother…
Taker measures Toshio against the ropes and connects with a few stiff punches. He then lifts him up on his shoulder and hits snake eyes, followed by a running boot and legdrop. 1…………………………2………………………shoulder up by Toshio. Taker measures Toshio for the chokeslam.
JR: The Undertaker has a score of his own to settle with Toshio over the Royal Rumble…
Taker grabs Toshio by the throat but he saves himself with a few kicks to the ribs and a thrust kick that knocks Taker down. He sits up as Umaga tags in. Umaga comes in with a knee to the ribs and a few headbutts, then gestures to his partner and rams Taker into Toshio’s boot.
VINCE: As much as I dislike Toshio he and Umaga are starting to show some cohesion.
Taker staggers back against the ropes and Umaga clotheslines him over the ropes….but he lands on his feet! Taker trips up Umaga, then grabs both Estrada and Heyman by the throat! Toshio comes off the apron, kicks Taker in the back to make him let go and knocks him down with a kick to the face! Kane runs over and attacks Toshio! While they are brawling, Taker gets up only to be rammed into the announce table, then the barricade by Umaga. Umaga Irish whips Taker knees first into the steps!
JR: My God what a sickening impact!
Taker is trying to get up as Toshio and Kane return to their corners. Umaga slams the steps onto Taker’s back, then rolls him into the ring. Umaga drops a headbutt to the chest. 1………….2………….Taker kicks out and sits up.
He fires back with a few punches, but Umaga chops him in the chest and hits a Samoan Drop! 1…………………..2………………shoulder up. Umaga tags Toshio and holds Taker open for a thrust kick to the ribs. Toshio knocks Taker down with a roundhouse. 1……………………..2……………..shoulder up. As the crowd boos like crazy, Toshio winds up Taker’s arm, hits a few kicks to the chest, then an axe kick across the back of the neck. 1………….2………….Taker kicks out. Toshio tags Umaga back in and whips Taker into a spinning heel kick from the Samoan Bulldozer. Toshio knocks Kane off the apron with a cheap shot kick while Umaga covers Taker.
1……………………………2……………………………….shoulder up!
JBL: I hate to say it but that was a smart move by Toshio to try and prevent Kane from helping the Undertaker out of that predicament.
Umaga sends Taker into the ropes for a backdrop but Taker counters with a flying DDT!
JR: What a spectacular counter by the Demon of Death Valley!
JBL: Just when you think you have the advantage the Undertaker reverses the momentum.
Taker leans on Umaga while Kane runs in and knocks Toshio off the apron with a right hand. …..1………………..2……………..shoulder up!
Undertaker goes for the chokeslam on Umaga, but the Samoan Bulldozer hits a palm thrust to the throat. He sends Taker into the ropes and hits a Blackhole Slam! He goes for the cover…
UNDERTAKER LOCKS IN THE DEVIL’S GATE!
JR: It’s that lethal submission hold! This one could be over!
Estrada is freaking out but Toshio runs in and kicks Taker in the head to break it up. Kane runs in and unloads on Toshio with punches, beating him down in his corner and then stepping on his throat. Kane finally goes back to his corner. Taker and Umaga both tag and now Kane and Toshio are legal!
VINCE: I never thought I’d say this but GET HIM KANE!
Kane kicks Toshio in the stomach and staggers him with a big right hand, but Toshio fires back with a back kick to Kane’s stomach. He backs Kane into the ropes with martial arts strikes, then sends him into the ropes but Kane comes back with a flying DDT of his own! He Irish whips Toshio, hits a corner clothesline, sends him into the opposite corner, hits another corner clothesline, then a sidewalk slam!
JBL: That’s one of his patented moves.
Kane goes to the top rope. He goes for the flying clothesline but Toshio catches him with a thrust kick to the head while he is in midair! Kane crashes to the mat!
JR: OH MY GOD!
Toshio hooks the leg. 1…………………………….2………………..shoulder up! Toshio hits a few vicious kicks to Kane while he’s down, then rams him into his and Umaga’s corner. Umaga chokes Kane with the tag rope while Toshio kicks away at the body. Taker runs in and decks Umaga!
While the Deadman goes back to his corner, Toshio kicks Kane in the ribs, then hits a chop to the back of the hamstring that drops Kane to one knee. He then runs the ropes and hits a low spin kick to the face! 1……………………..2………………shoulder up by Kane.
JBL: Kane has been motivated more so than he usually would be, it’s going to be almost impossible to keep him down. Just ask his brother, the Undertaker had to Tombstone Kane three times to beat him at Wrestlemania 14 because he kept kicking out!
Toshio takes Kane down with a modified STO and gets another two count. He then applies a version of a triangle choke!
VINCE: Toshio is trying to make Kane tap out, which won’t happen, or pass out, which could happen.
Undertaker is pacing like a man possessed on the apron while the crowd is chanting Kane’s name. Kane plants his knees firmly on the canvas…
JBL: He’s trying to stack Toshio up…
Instead Kane gets to his feet and lifts Toshio up. Toshio looks around in shock as he is lifted up off the canvas….DIVING POWERBOMB BY KANE!
JR: My God that will be all!
Kane falls into a cover while Taker runs over and knocks Umaga off the apron with a boot. 1…………………………………..2…………………………………..
2.9999……………………
Toshio kicks out! Bearer shouts at the ref that his count was too slow and Cindryn looks disappointed that it isn’t over. Kneeling beside Toshio, Kane glances at his brother…then tries to put Toshio in the Devil’s Gate!
JR: What!? I had no idea Kane knew how to do this!
JBL: Who do you think he trained with before this match, the Easter Bunny? The Undertaker taught him how to do it!
Toshio is struggling desperately to keep Kane from getting his leg across Toshio’s throat, but Umaga runs in with a diving headbutt to Kane to make sure!
JR: Dammit.
Undertaker runs in and unloads with punches on Umaga! While they’re fighting, Toshio knocks Kane over the ropes to the apron with a kick. He bends Kane back to drives a chop into his throat, but Kane reaches back, grabs Toshio’s head and drops off the apron, snapping his enemy’s throat on the ropes! Kane comes back in and the Brothers of Destruction hit a double boot to Umaga! Umaga rolls out of the ring and Taker goes out after him. Kane then signals for the chokeslam!
VINCE: Toshio’s going to get it now!
Estrada jumps up on the apron! Kane turns and hits him with an uppercut, but while this is happening Heyman throws a chair to Toshio. Kane turns around and Toshio hits him right in the head with the chair! Toshio goes for the pin while Umaga reverses a whip on the floor and sends Taker back first into the barricade!
1………………………….2………………………..
Kane gets the shoulder up!
JR: The tide has turned against the Brothers of Destruction again and this huge crowd doesn’t like it one bit!
Umaga mauls Taker with punches against the barrier. In the ring, Toshio backs Kane into a corner, hits a few kicks to the body, then backs up and hits a spinning kick that drops him to a seated position. Toshio picks up the chair and skateboards it into Kane’s face! 1………………………2………………….Kane dumps Toshio through the ropes with his kickout!
JBL: Come on Kane!
Kane gets to his feet while Toshio gets back on the apron. The Big Red Machine connects with an uppercut that sends Toshio crashing onto the announce table! He slides right off into the laps of the announcers!
JR: My God Toshio was sent right into us!
Undertaker has battled back with rights and lefts on Umaga, who rolls into the ring. Kane follows Toshio to ringside.
JBL: Get out of my lap Toshio! Idiot.
Kane walks over and begins to punch away at the face of Toshio, who is still in the laps of the announcers.
JR: Get him away from here! I don’t want my head taken off!
VINCE: (on his feet and backing away in fear): Get him in the ring Kane!
Kane rams Toshio’s face into the announce table a few times, then chokes him on the table. Taker gets on the apron but Umaga tries to knock him off with punches. Taker blocks one, hits a reverse elbow strike, then snaps Umaga’s neck off the ropes like Kane did to Toshio.
The Deadman then goes to the top rope and hits a Flying Clothesline on Umaga!
JR: He beat the likes of the late great Yokozuna and the Giant Gonzalez with that clothesline but Umaga is still trying to get up!
Kane climbs up on the announce table and picks Toshio up by the throat. He looks around with a sick smile as the fans go crazy.
VINCE: Kane is going to chokeslam Toshio right here on our table!
Toshio saves himself with a low blow! Kane falls down on the table and Toshio rolls off onto the floor. Toshio pulls Kane off the table and puts him in a front facelock, but Kane drives him backwards into the post! Kane then picks him up in a bearhug position and rams his back into the post again! Toshio is leaning on the post in pain. Kane gives him an uppercut that smashes Toshio’s head back into the post! He falls to the ground in pain and Kane smiles.
In the ring, Taker has Umaga in a Dragon Sleeper!
JBL: Undertaker is one of the most lethal submission specialists in the business guys. This could be the end of Umaga, but if I’m not mistaken Kane and Toshio are the legal men right now.
Estrada comes in with a chair and hits Taker in the back! Taker lets go of Umaga and looks at Estrada with fury in his eyes. Estrada has a look of terror on his face. He tries to swing the chair again but Taker kicks it back into his face!
Taker then raises one fist to signal for the Last Ride.
JR: The Undertaker’s hometown fans here in Houston are going crazy!
Taker pulls Estrada up, doubles him over…and hits the LAST RIDE!
VINCE: That takes care of Estrada!
JR: The Undertaker vowed that both Estrada and Paul Heyman would go down with their respective protégés. He has made good on half of that promise!
Umaga has rolled out to the floor to clear his head. Kane throws Toshio into the ring. Paul Bearer slides the chair Estrada was using to Kane. Kane picks it up, looks at it, then looks at Toshio who is pulling himself up using the ropes. Kane shakes his head and throws the chair out of the ring, then hits a corner clothesline on Toshio and begins to beat the hell out of him with punches.
JBL: Kane didn’t want to use the weapon, he wants to destroy this jerk with his bare hands!
He Irish whips Toshio and hits another clothesline in the corner. Toshio falls to the mat. Heyman sneaks over and passes in a pair of nunchucks!
Cindryn sees it, runs over and spins Heyman around. He begs off but she unloads on him with a barrage of kicks, then rams his head into the steps!
JBL: Haha, get him Cindryn!
JR: I don’t think Kane is aware that Toshio has a weapon!
In the ring Kane goes for the Tombstone, but Toshio swings the nunchuks down into his stomach! Umaga runs over and pulls Taker down off the apron, beginning an exchange of punches. In the ring Toshio hits Kane in the leg, the shoulder and then the head with the nunchucks! 1…………………………2……………………….shoulder up.
VINCE: Kane kicked out but he’s been hurt.
Undertaker reverses a whip and Umaga flies hard into the barricade. The Deadman gets back on the apron. Paul Bearer and Cindryn are trying to urge Kane on, but the Big Red Machine is dazed. Toshio begins to choke him with the chain from the nunchuks. Kane struggles, grabs the chain and pulls on it with all his might.
THE CHAIN BREAKS!
JR: That was a scary display of strength!
Toshio looks at the broken nunchucks in disbelief. From his knees, Kane knocks Toshio down with an uppercut. He catches Toshio by the throat as they both stand out and tries to chokeslam him, but Toshio swings out and lands on his feet behind Kane, then hits a spin kick to the back of the neck! He shoots the half…1…………………………..2………………..kickout.
Toshio staggers Kane back into the corner with a high kick to the head. Umaga holds Kane in place from the outside and Toshio runs in with a vicious kick to the head!
VINCE: My goodness what a sickening shot!
Kane falls to the mat with a glazed look in his eyes and Toshio makes the cover. 1…………………………..2……………………………
Kane gets his shoulder up! Toshio tags Umaga. Umaga sends Kane into the ropes and hits a huge Samoan Drop! 1……………………..2………………..shoulder up. Umaga slams Kane, then goes to the second rope and hits a Diving headbutt. 1………………2…………….shoulder up.
JBL: Kane’s been in there a long time, he needs to tag the Undertaker.
Toshio tags in and works over Kane with kicks to the body against the ropes, then rams him into a turnbuckle and knocks him down with a jump kick. 1………………..2…………….shoulder up. Toshio runs over, tags Umaga, then runs back and chokes Kane in the corner with his foot while Umaga cheap shots Taker off the apron. Umaga then gets in the corner opposite Toshio and charges…Toshio sidesteps at the last minute so that Umaga can hit the Samoan Wrecking Ball on Kane!
1…………………………….2……………………shoulder up!
Kane is trying to get up and Umaga signals for the Samoan Spike while Toshio claps enthusiastically.
VINCE: I cannot believe what we’re seeing…after everything that has happened here in this match the Brothers of Destruction are on the verge of being defeated…
Umaga goes for the spike but Kane catches his wrist and grabs him by the throat…
JBL: Kane still has fight left in him!
Umaga struggles…Toshio tries to come in and stop Kane, but the Big Red Machine shoves Umaga backwards into him! Toshio is sent flying through the ropes…
KANE CHOKESLAMS UMAGA!
JR: It’s over!
Kane instinctively goes for the pin. 1…………………………..2………………………
2.9999……………………………
HEYMAN PULLS THE REF OUT OF THE RING!
JR: DAMMIT! KANE HAD THE MATCH WON!
Kane reaches through the ropes and grabs Heyman by the throat, but Toshio kicks him in the side of the head. Undertaker runs over on the floor towards Heyman.
Heyman backs up. “OH MY GOD NO PLEASE!”
Taker decks Heyman with a right hand, then gets into a mount position and beats the hell out of him!
VINCE: YES I LOVE IT! I ALWAYS HATED HEYMAN!
Kane is trading blows with Toshio while Umaga is down and just starting to move. The Big Red Machine gets the better of it and knocks Toshio through the ropes. He turns back to see Umaga slowly rolling to his knees, still looking like he is out of it. Kane looks like he is going to finish him off, but from the apron Toshio kicks Kane in the small of the back!
JBL: That isn’t like a normal kick in the back guys, Toshio is a martial arts expert. Who knows what kind of damage that could do to Kane?
Kane doubles over, but turns around and decks Toshio with an uppercut that knocks him down to the floor. Taker throws Heyman over the barricade into the crowd and follows, beating him up among the fans.
VINCE: This may be the last we ever see of Paul Heyman! Undertaker did vow to destroy him for continuing to associate himself with Toshio after that heinous attack on Paul Bearer.
Kane turns…
AND UMAGA LEAPS TO HIS FEET WITH A SAMOAN SPIKE!
JR: NO!
Umaga immediately goes for a pin!
1……………………..2………………………
JBL: Undertaker can’t get there in time!
2.9999………………..
Kane gets his shoulder up!
Umaga is still hurt from the chokeslam and kneels against the ropes. Toshio tags in.
VINCE: This creep sees his chance to try and finish Kane off…
Toshio runs across the ring and knocks Taker off the apron with a cheapshot just as he is climbing back up to grab the tag rope. He then knocks Kane down with a thrust kick.
MARTIAL ARTS STOMP TO THE HEAD!
JR: NO!
Toshio makes the cover while Cindryn looks like she will cry.
1…………………..
2………………….
2.999……………..
KANE GETS HIS SHOULDER UP!
Toshio looks around in total disbelief and begins to slap his hands on the apron in frustration. Kane slowly starts to sit up…and falls back down.
VINCE: That may have been the last bit of energy Kane had left.
Toshio smiles and goes for another Martial Arts stomp, but Kane catches his ankle! Toshio looks surprised and tries to keep his balance but Kane throws him off to the ground. Kane sits up. Toshio starts to get up but Kane grabs him by the throat.
JBL: These fans are chanting for a chokeslam and I think we’re about to see one.
Toshio kicks Kane in the knee!
JR: You could hear a collective sign of disappointment from these fans.
Toshio climbs back to the top rope. He comes off looking for a flying kick but Kane sidesteps and hits an uppercut to the throat while Toshio is still in the air!
JR: OH MY GOD!
Toshio falls to the mat, holding his throat and gasping for air. As he tries to get up he spits out a bit of blood! Kane climbs to the top rope and measures him. Toshio stands up…and Kane hits a flying clothesline to the throat! Kane signals for the chokeslam but Toshio fell near his corner and Umaga tags in.
Kane curses.
JBL: I think that says it all, Kane wanted to chokeslam Toshio but Umaga tagged in…
JR: I think Umaga knew Toshio was hurt and needed a respite!
Umaga runs in but Kane tags him with an uppercut, then tags Taker! Taker unloads on Umaga with punches. Umaga hits a palm thrust to the throat and tries to grapple Taker, but the Deadman grabs him around the waist and hits a side suplex! Toshio starts to come in but Kane heads him off with a boot to the face. He rams Toshio into a corner and beats him down with a barrage of punches. He then goes out to the floor and positions Toshio with his legs on either side of the post. He looks around evilly…
JR: Oh no…
JBL: What do you mean “oh no”…DO IT!
Kane pulls Toshio’s groin into the post and laughs as his enemy screams in pain.
VINCE: I would suggest that will put a bit of a damper on his lust for Cindryn.
I’ve had it done to me so I know. One of his testicles will swell up to the size of a grapefruit and the other will be the big one!
Kane pulls a table out from under the ring and sets it up. In the ring, Undertaker is pummeling Umaga in the far corner, beating the Samoan Bulldozer down. Kane pulls out a can of gasoline and douses the table. Toshio is holding his aching manhood and groaning in agony. Heyman has crawled back over the barricade, a bloody mess and constantly moaning “OWWWWW…..OWWWWW….”
Kane then pulls out a match…
JR: Oh my God…this is going too far…
Kane sets the table on fire!
JBL: TOSHIO IS GOING TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL!
Kane pulls Toshio onto the apron and grabs him by the throat.
VINCE: HE’S GOING TO CHOKESLAM HIM RIGHT THROUGH THAT BURNING TABLE!
Cindryn steps up onto the apron and says, “Kane that’s too far. Don’t…”
Kane hesitates…and Toshio hits a low blow…
JBL: DAMMIT CINDRYN LOOK WHAT YOU DID NOW! I SAID IT ONCE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN, OTHER THAN MY WIFE WOMEN ARE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE!
TOSHIO KICKS KANE OFF THE APRON THROUGH THE BURNING TABLE!!!!!
JR : MY GOD NO!!!!!
Kane thrashes around in pain on the floor, trying to stand up but falling back down! Cindryn gets down saying, “Kane, I’m sorry!” and then curses at Toshio. Toshio rolls into the ring with a smile on his face as Kane crawls over to the barricade, growling and cursing in pain and rage. Both Cindryn and Bearer are trying to check on him but Kane keeps swatting them away!
JR: I can’t imagine what that must feel like or what childhood trauma it must be reminding Kane of right now. I don’t think he’s trying to shoo his wife and father away, I think he’s just been driven crazy by the pain! He could be delirious and may not know exactly what’s going on!
JBL: And it’s Cindryn’s fault!
JR: She didn’t mean for that to happen…but right now I bet there are conspiracy theorists saying she did it on purpose to screw Kane over.
Undertaker actually walks over the ropes and shouts his brother’s name in concern…
JBL: I never thought I would see the day that the Undertaker would show concern!
Toshio kicks Taker in the back!
VINCE: That no good…
Taker staggers and Toshio and Umaga hit a double thrust kick! Umaga makes the cover………………..1…………………………………….2……………………
JR: NO COME ON KICK OUT TAKER!
UNDERTAKER KICKS OUT!
Taker sits up with a growl of rage. Toshio and Umaga look at each other in frustration. On the floor Kane is somehow back on his feet and stumbles over to the ring.
JR: How on earth is Kane back on his feet!?
VINCE: Anyone else would be leaving in an ambulance.
Toshio and Umaga go for another double kick, but Taker ducks and Kane slides unnoticed back into the ring. Without having to say a word the Brothers of Destruction are on the same page. Umaga and Toshio turn around only to both be grabbed by the throat! Taker has Umaga and Kane has Toshio!
STEREO CHOKESLAMS!
JBL: Ball game!
JR: It’s amazing to see how the Brothers of Destruction timed that without even communicating with each other!
Paul Bearer claps and shouts “OHHHH YESSSSSSS” while Cindryn watches intently. Undertaker and Kane look at each, then slide their fingers across their throats as the crowd of seventy-two thousand plus goes crazy.
JBL: Finish them off now!
Taker picks up Umaga and Kane picks up Toshio…
VINCE: No one would be able to survive this!
SIMULTANEOUS TOMBSTONES!
VINCE: I think Undertaker and Umaga are legal but it really doesn’t matter, both Umaga and Toshio will rest in peace after that!
Undertaker crosses Umaga’s arms across his chest, his eyes rolling back into his head and tongue sticking out demonically.
1……………………………
2…………………………….
3!
HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS: THE BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION
JR: They had to walk through Hell, Fire and Brimstone to get it, but the Undertaker and Kane have gotten their revenge and ended this feud with an emphatic victory!
Leaning on the ropes, Kane is still seething with pain and anger from going through the burning table. Both Umaga and Toshio are out cold on the mat. Undertaker walks over to check on his brother. Cindryn gets in the ring apologizing and gently touching Kane’s back. Kane says something back to her and kisses her lightly.
Then he takes a step forward and looks down at Toshio…then at his brother.
Kane grabs Toshio by the throat and pulls him back to his feet as the Undertaker’s music stops playing.
JBL: Kane’s not satisfied!
Heyman has crawled onto the apron and is begging Tim White to stop them from doing anything else. Taker grabs Heyman, pulls him into the ring and puts him in the Devil’s Gate!
JR: I don’t like Paul Heyman but I feel sorry for him right now!
Kane chokeslams Toshio again while Taker keeps the pressure on even as Heyman is tapping out. When Heyman bleeds from the mouth Taker releases him. Umaga begins to move a bit so Taker picks him up, grabs him by the throat and calls Kane over.
JBL: Umaga tried to shatter the Undertaker’s rib cage…Taker hasn’t forgotten it and I think in his mind Umaga needs to suffer a bit more.
DOUBLE CHOKESLAM ON UMAGA!
Kane says something to Taker, and he goes to the top rope. Kane picks Toshio back up and says, “Who’s going to get destroyed, huh? Who’s going to lose it all!? Last time I tried to give you a pass…THIS TIME I’LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER BOTHER US AGAIN!”
Kane picks Toshio up in a Tombstone position and approaches the corner where Taker is perched on the top rope.
JBL: Ordinarily I’d say no one deserves this but Toshio does!
SPIKE TOMBSTONE!
VINCE: With bodies everywhere maybe now Kane and the Undertaker are finally satisfied.
The Undertaker’s music starts up again and all lights turn purple. The Phenom goes down on one knee and raises his hand in his ritual victory salute while Kane stands behind him, raises his hands and summons flames from the posts. Cindryn walks over to Kane, puts her hands on his face and pulls his head down to kiss him.
JR: A picture is worth a thousand words. After witnessing Kane and his brother deliver a spike Tombstone on Toshio, Cindryn kisses her husband. Even Toshio should be able to understand that message!
Taker exits the ring first along with Paul Bearer. Cindryn holds the ropes apart for Kane to make sure he can step through without touching the ropes with the burn on his back. She then follows and gives Kane another kiss without even glancing back at the fallen Toshio.
VINCE: As far as I’m concerned Toshio got what he deserved tonight, and hopefully now Kane will get to just enjoy his retirement…for everyone’s sake!
The Brothers of Destruction stop at the stage and look back over their shoulders at the ring. They turn away after a moment and raise their fists up in a last gesture of victory as a final rumble of thunder echoes over the stadium.
WWE TITLE: KEVIN THORN VS EDGE VS RANDY ORTON
JR: What a night it has been tonight John and its all been building up to this match.
JBL: JR there is no prize bigger in this sport and to compete for or defend it at Wrestlemania is in my opinion the greatest honor one could have.
JR: Tonight the seemingly unbeatable WWE Champion Kevin Thorn faces off against not one challenger but two of them, as both the legend killer Randy Orton and the Rated R Superstar look to walk away tonight with WWE Gold. Let’s just see how this all came about.
A video package begins showing Gregory Helms being injured and Edge taking his place at the Royal Rumble. Then it shifts to the controversial ending that saw both Orton and Edge be deemed co-winners of the Rumble. It shifts then to various clips of Kevin Thorn’s impressive victories over the likes of Raven, Christian and Vampiro. Next we see clips of Orton brutally assaulting HHH, causing tension between him and Flair. Next is a highlight of Edge harassing Ariel at ringside while Thorn was fighting Los Conquistador, with Thorn eventually scoring a huge victory and then cornering Edge, who was saved at the last minute by Hurricane Helms. Also included is Orton losing to Helms on Saturday Night’s Main Event after Thorn connects with a right hand after stopping Orton from using the ropes to score a pin. This is followed by Mark Henry saving Edge from Thorn only to be beaten to a bloody pulp by the champion. Thorn is shown holding up his blood covered hands while Edge looks concerned. Next is a clip of Edge saying Thorn can pick his opponent, adding he wouldn’t mind going a few rounds with Ariel, with Ariel later flirtatiously telling Edge that Thorn chose the Giant. Then highlights are shown of the expanded Bloodline surrounding the ring during the Giant vs Edge match, with Thorn attacking Edge, and Orton attacking Thorn leading to a three way brawl. Ariel is shown licking Edge’s lips during the event to fire him up, Edge spearing Orton, and then Thorn nearly getting the Dark Kiss on Edge, who is saved by Helms again. Edge is shown finally admitting he was the one who attacked Helms, and also implying he has been having an affair with Ariel. This clip is followed by highlights from Thorn’s sit down interview and a later promo in which he states his hatred for people like Orton and Edge and vows to make his mark, the mark of the vampire, on them and on Wrestlemania. The various times Ariel has been flirting with Edge is also shown, while Thorn looks enraged. It all ends with all an image of Edge and Orton on each side of Thorn with the title belt over his shoulder.
FINK: The following triple threat match is scheduled for one fall and it is for the WWE Championship. Introducing first. Ariel
Ariel makes her trademark entrance, complete with hanging upside down on the ring ropes.
JR: Now why in the world has Ariel entered first I don’t get it? She’s not even in this match and shouldn’t she be with Kevin Thorn?
JBL: JR why question it, let’s just be glad she’s here.
JR: Could there be some romantic tension in her relationship with Kevin Thorn? We have seen her flirting and making numerous advancements towards the Rated R Superstar.
JBL: Hey Edge himself admitted they are having a relationship…
JR: Do you actually believe that nonsense!?
FINK: Next hailing from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing 248 pounds. Representing Evolution, the Legend Killer Randy Orton.
Burning in my light blasts over the P.A and Orton walks coldly to the ring and makes no notice at all of Ariel.
JBL: There really must be ice running through this man’s veins to not pay attention to the sexiest vampire I know.
JR: Well, Randy is focused on one thing tonight and that is becoming the WWE Champion
Lillian: Next, from Toronto Ontario Canada, weighing 250 pounds, the Rated R Superstar Edge.
Edge makes his way to the ring amidst an impressive array of fireworks and is booed heavily.
JR: Well, Edge has finally admitted that it was he who attacked Hurricane Helms at the Royal Rumble to steal his place in the Rumble. Frankly I don’t like the fact that he’s even getting to be here to fight for the WWE Champion.
JBL: I couldn’t disagree more. Edge is the ultimate opportunist and he saw an opportunity and took it away from Helms for himself. That’s pretty much what the essence of good business is. When you see an opportunity you take it. That’s what has made Edge so successful and me so stinkin rich, hahahaha.
Edge looks at Ariel and she is smiling flirtatiously at him.
Just then the lights go off and a flashing red light begins to cover the entire arena. An odd clopping sound can be heard from the stage area, and from the entrance way comes out two huge black steeds pulling a carriage. It makes his way up the ramp and out of it comes Kevin Thorn, dressed in a long black flowing coat.
JR: Well talk about an entrance. Kevin Thorn arriving in style here tonight, but he’s doing it with out Ariel.
JBL: My, Bradshaw that’s nearly as impressive as arriving my limo.
JR: Thorn looks like a modern day real life Count Dracula with this entrance!
Orton and Edge look on as Thorn slowly descends from the carriage. As Thorn gets in the ring Ariel gets on the apron and motions towards Edge to come outside. Like a sailor to a siren he follows with a big smile on his face. She pulls out a chair from ring side and tells Edge to sit down.
Meanwhile Orton is focused on the match and Thorn explodes with a clothesline taking him down. He begins to pound away on Orton as Edge is practically hypnotized by Ariel who is now giving him one of the sexiest lap dances one has ever seen.
JBL: Its not often a god envies anyone but I think this is one of those times, JR.
JR: Maybe but Edge is totally oblivious that the match has already started.
Thorn backs Orton into to the corner and unloads with a huge right to the head, then a kick to the gut and caps it off just driving Orton’s head right into the turnbuckle. Orton drops down to his knees and Thorn delivers a running knee to the face, then kicks away at the Legend Killer’s face.
JR: Thorn is one of the quickest starters in the WWE Today. He can really maul a man in mere moments.
JBL: I have said it before that, this guy reminds me of the Undertaker for just that very reason. There is a reason this guy is the WWE Champion. He might take Orton out of the game before Edge is done getting his lap dance!
Meanwhile Edge is still enjoying Ariel who is now grinding her body on the Rated R Superstar’s lap.
JBL: Right now Edge probably can’t stand up without making an embarassing scene…
Thorn chokes Orton right on the bottom and stops on a count of 4.
Thorn approaches Orton who lands a few blows to the stomach but Thorn catches one, lifts Orton into an inverted atomic drop position and hits a sitdown Jaw Breaker. He kicks Orton in the face and goes for a cover.
1.....
2...
Kick out.
JR: Thorn nearly won that match, and Edge didn’t even see the pin.
JBL: Oh I get it now, ok Edge I know she’s hot but damn it the WWE title is on the line. Get in the ring damn it.
Almost as if he hears this Edge gets up but Ariel bends over and shakes her toush and Edge again is hypnotized.
JR: I think I see the strategy here, Ariel is keeping Edge occupied and allowing Thorn to focus on Orton!
JBL: Are you implying she’s setting Edge up?
JR: Yes I am…
JBL: I think Ariel just can’t control her burning desire for the Rated R Superstar! It’s just like Angelina earlier tonight, she wants Edge and she wants him now! She’s just picking the wrong time…
JR: Oh please…
Thorn then drives Orton’s head right into the mat viciously and whips him off the ropes, connecting with an elbow to the jaw, then picks him up and delivers a sitout spinebuster.
JBL: Thorn has targeted the jaw over and over of the Legend Killer. No doubt looking to set him up for his finisher the Dark Kiss.
Thorn goes for a cover and Edge turns and sees this. Ariel gets in his way, but Edge shoves her aside and Thorn sees this and gets off Orton just as the Legend Killer’s shoulder comes off the mat. Orton rolls to the outside in a pain. As soon as Edge gets in the ring Thorn is all over him, exploding with rights and lefts. He tosses Edge off the ropes and drives him down with a huge clothesline
JBL: Right now Edge is probably wishing he just let that lap dance go a little bit longer.
JR: I’m not sure, but maybe this was a plan by Thorn to take Orton out early so he could get his hands on Edge one on one.
Ariel has gotten up and is now screaming at Thorn to get Edge and he does indeed locking him in a one handed cross face and laying in shots with his free hand.
JBL: Is she really cheering for Thorn or is she just covering up her real desire for Edge?
JR (ignoring the remark): The WWE Champion has dominated both challengers. What’s it going to take to bring this man down?
JBL: If Edge and Orton are smart they will put aside their differences for a while and take out Thorn because frankly I don’t know if either of them can get the job done alone. Thorn has come to Wrestlemania for one reason only and that is to fight.
Thorn picks up Edge and clobbers him in the back, then muscles him into a corner and then repeatedly drives his forearm right into the back of Edge.
The ref orders him to back off a bit.
JR: Thorn will bring the physicality in a major way.
Edge walks out of the corner holding his back in pain and Thorn boots him in the gut and hits a back breaker.
Thorn goes for the cover.
1....
2.....
Kickout. Thorn doubles Edge over, them lifts him up into an overhead sitdown backbreaker! He goes for the cover. 1………………….2……………….
Orton breaks it up dropping a forearm but Edge was getting his shoulder up anyway. Orton stomps away at Thorn as he tries to get to his feet. Orton then picks up Thorn, whips him off the ropes and leap frogs him but Thorn catches him in mid air. Just then Edge clips Thorn’s leg.
Ariel then holds her leg in pain and screams slamming her fist in anger.
JR: Have you ever noticed that sometimes it’s like Ariel can feel the pain of Kevin Thorn?
JBL: To say their relationship is unusual would be a huge understatement in my books.
Thorn slowly gets up and Edge holds in a head lock while Orton unloads with two pummeling blows to the back. Edge whips Thorn off the ropes and takes him down with a drop toe hold and Orton runs and drops an elbow.
JBL: See I told you this is what needs to be done to get Thorn down.
They continue to kick away at Thorn. Together they whip Thorn off the ropes and drop low for a double back body drop. Thorn goes up but counters with a double DDT.
JR: OH what a counter, a double DDT.
JBL: That’s what makes Kevin Thorn even more dangerous he’s not just big and strong, the man is resourceful too.
Thorn gets to his feet, picks up Edge by his tights and tosses him out of the ring. He goes back to work on Orton locking him in a sleeper and violently throwing him to the mat. Orton sits up in pain and Thorn connects with a running boot to the small of the back. He then sends the Legend Killer into the ropes and hits a powerslam. Thorn hooks the leg………….1…………………..2…………….Orton kicks out. Edge gets on the apron but Thorn hits him with a boot and he flies off into the barricade. Orton crawls to the ropes but Thorn reaches over them and starts to just claw away at Orton, then drags him to the center of the ring, while punching away at his shoulder. Thorn tosses Orton into the ring post shoulder first.
JR: Thorn is all over Randy Orton. The man just does not stop until the bell rings.
Thorn lifts up Orton and hits a vertical suplex and goes for the pin.
1.....
2.....
Shoulder up.
Meanwhile on the outside Edge has set up a table and watches the ring.
Thorn picks up Orton, whips him into the corner and comes in with a huge clothesline.
Edge creeps in the ring and spins Thorn around. Thorn unloads with a jaw jacking uppercut.
JBL: Edge was trying to pick his spot, but if you ask me he picked the wrong one.
Thorn goes to work on Edge kicking him in the gut then lifts Edge up into a torture rack but Orton runs a knee right into his exposed mid section. Both Thorn and Edge fall hard to the mat.
JR: Thorn was looking to hit that sit down torture rack of his but in doing so left himself open to the viper like Randy Orton!
Thorn struggles to his feet but Orton knocks him down with a dropkick. Edge gets up and again both men stomp away and lay in a ton of punches. They toss Thorn off the ropes and hit a two man flap jack. Edge then points to the outside and Orton smiles and nods.
JR: Edge and Orton are making a heck of a team and I don`t think they are planning on serving up dinner to Thorn on that table.
Both men throw Thorn to the outside and follow. Thorn tries to battle back charging Orton into the security barrier. Edge fires off a ton of blows to Thorn`s back and Orton lets loose with some too. Both men then drag Thorn to the table and they deliver a DOUBLE SUPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE.
JBL: That`s how you do it, right through the table.
Ariel screams in both anger and pain and runs right over to check on Thorn. Thorn rolls onto his side holding his back.
Edge and Orton celebrate and then Orton unloads with a boot to the gut and tosses Edge into the ring.
JR: Well that`s the end to this alliance.
Orton climbs to the top rope and connects with a high cross body into a pin.
1....
2.....
2..99
Shoulder up.
JR: Orton was that close to stealing one here.
Edge gets up but Orton dropkicks him and covers for another two count. Orton tosses Edge off the ropes, but he bails to the outside. Orton chases after him and Edge quickly gets back in the ring. He takes a swing at Orton as he gets in but Orton ducks it and hits a thumb to the eye. Orton picks up Edge who is on his knees holding his eye and connects with a European uppercut. Edge drops to his knees and crawls to a corner. Orton is right on top of him choking Edge with the middle ring rope. The ref calls for a break and Orton just grabs Edge by the head, leads him into the adjacent corner and crashes his head off the turnbuckle. Orton unloads with three right hands and snap mares Edge out of the corner. Orton begins to execute the Randy Orton Stomp.
JBL: Orton has really taken advantage of the situation here. Thorn is down from that suplex through a table and now he has Edge at his mercy,
Orton finishes stomping each joint and drops a knee to the face. He hooks the leg and goes for a cover.
1.....
2.....
Kick out.
Orton mounts Edge and delivers a few rights and lefts and slaps Edge in the back of the head as he gets off.
JBL: When he is in control Randy Orton is as lethal as they get!
Orton picks up Edge and hits another European uppercut and Edge backs into the corner and pleads for mercy. Just then as Orton approaches Edge grabs the front of the tights and tosses Orton shoulder first into the ring post. Orton falls through the ropes to the floor.
JR: Orton had everything under control until then Edge suckered him in!
JBL: This is the chance Edge needs to get back into this match. Don’t forget that same shoulder hit the ring post earlier!
Orton gets up on the apron but is clearly dazed holding his shoulder. Edge runs full force off the ropes and hits a running shoulder block
JR: Look out John!
Orton goes flying so hard that he lands on the announce table.
JBL: If Edge can capitalize on this he could win the title!
Edge brings Orton back in the ring and goes for a pin.
Ariel is still screaming at Thorn to get back into the match.
1....
2...
Kick out.
Edge in anger kicks away at Orton and picks him up in a sleeper position. Orton elbows free and runs off the ropes, but Edge takes him down with a spinning heel kick. Edge quickly crawls for a cover.
1....
2....
Kick out.
Edge goes to the top rope, but Orton meets him with a right hand that stuns Edge. Orton climbs up and fires off a few more shots to Edge. He hooks him up for a superplex but Edge fights back and stuns Orton with a rake of the face. Edge then executes a front face suplex from the top rope.
JR: OH MY GOD HE CRUSHED HIM!!
Edge slowly crawls for the pin.
1......
2......
2....99
Thorn breaks it up.
JR: My god where did Kevin Thorn come from?
JBL: I am amazed he can even stand after being driven through that table.
Thorn picks up Edge and buries a knee to the gut, then picks him up and hits a gut buster.
He goes for a pin while Orton rolls to the ropes with a vacant look in his eyes.
1,....
2....
Kick out.
Thorn leads Edge into the corner and goes to work on him with rights, lefts and kicks to the body.
JBL: I think they made the Walking Tower of Angry mad!
From behind Orton has gotten up and he runs for a splash on Thorn but the big man shows his quickness and moves out of the way and Orton crushes Edge. Thorn then grabs hold of Orton and slams him down with a sleeper slam. He picks him up and hits two tremendous short arm clotheslines. Edge tries to take a swing at Thorn but the champion boots him in the gut, lifts him up and it’s a sit down chestbuster.
Ariel cheers on the outside and slams her hands on the mat, shouting for Thorn to end this.
Orton crawls to the ropes and Thorn is right on him. He kneels on Orton’s back so he’s choked on the middle rope and lays in some clubbing blows. Thorn then goes to the apron and nails Orton with a big kick on his head that is hanging under the bottom rope. Just then Edge dropkicks Thorn off the apron, gets right on Orton and goes for a pin.
JR: Edge is trying to steal one.
JBL: SMART!!!
1.....
2....
2..99
Orton kicks out.
Thorn grabs Orton’s foot and drags him to the outside. Thorn takes out Orton with a big time clothesline. He gets in the ring but Edge is ready for him and unloads with a spinning heel kick.
JBL: This match is really going past even my expectations.
Thorn kicks out of a pin attempt. Edge picks up Thorn, whips off the ropes and hits a big boot. He goes for a pin. 1
1....
2.....
Shoulder up.
Edge hits a baseball slide, sending Orton over the barricade into the crowd, then gives Thorn a swinging neckbreaker. 1………2…………Thorn kicks out. Edge gets up quickly and waits for Thorn to get up. Edge tries to whip him off the ropes but Thorn pulls him back into a powerslam.
1...
2....
2..99
Shoulder up.
JR: My god what resilience on behalf of the WWE champion.
Thorn waits for Edge to get up and goes for a clothesline, but Edge ducks it and hits the EDGE-O-MATIC. Edge hooks the legs for a pin.
1....
2...
2..99
Kick out.
Edge can’t believe it.
Orton pulls himself up on the apron but Edge kicks him back off. He now measures Thorn for the spear in the corner.
JBL: Like a shark in the water, Edge smells blood and is about to strike.
Just as Edge is measuring Thorn for the Spear from the back comes Gregory Helms. He is still unnoticed by the competitors.
Edge charges for the Spear but Thorn lunges forward and catches him with a one man flap jack! Edge gets to his feet looking dazed. Thorn doubles him over with a kick to the stomach, then lifts him up and hits a Crucifix Powerbomb!
JR: My God what an impact! Edge might be knocked out!
As Thorn gets down to try for a pin, Orton runs in and hits the Punt Kick to Thorn’s head!
JBL: That could be the shot that slays the vampire!
Orton quickly hooks Thorn’s leg. 1…………………………..2……………………….
JR: Orton’s got it here!
2.9999…….
Shoulder up!
Orton looks up at the lights with a glazed over look in his eyes, then slowly snaps out of it, rolls to his stomach slams his hands into the mat in frustration.
JR: Orton can’t believe he isn’t the champion yet! It looks like he is about to have some kind of meltdown!
JBL: Randy you’ve got to get it together here!
The Legend Killer gets to his feet while Edge rolls to the ropes in a daze and Thorn is trying to get up with a vacant expression on his face. Ariel looks worried.
JBL: Is she worried about Thorn or Edge?
JR: Will you stop!?
Orton measures Thorn for the RKO.
JBL: This is Orton’s chance! Thorn has to be out on his feet after that punt to the head and Edge just took a Crucifix Powerbomb!
Orton goes for the RKO, but Thorn blocks it and shoves him off…
RIGHT INTO A SPEAR BY EDGE!
JR: My God that came out of nowhere! I thought Edge was down and out!
Edge goes for the pin 1………….2………….Thorn kicks him off! Thorn lifts Edge up, Edge slips down behind and hooks the head to try for the Edgecution, but Thorn throws him backwards into a turnbuckle. As Edge flies forward Thorn hits him with a Reverse Elbow to the jaw!
JBL: It’s that elbow! That’s the elbow that has knocked out the likes of Balls Mahoney, the Great Khali and Mark Henry!
Thorn goes for the cover. 1…………………………2………………………
2.9999……………………..
Edge gets his shoulder up! Thorn is now the one who looks shocked. He slumps down in frustration and exhaustion and all three men are down.
JR: My God how did Edge get his shoulder up from that? He has taken all sorts of punishment, the Crucifix Powerbomb, then the elbow from hell, and he still has enough left to kick out!
JBL: Edge’s natural greatness and will to win has been magnified by the passion of Ariel…
Ariel gets up on the apron and waves Thorn over. He walks over and she gives him a very passionate kiss and whispers something to him.
JR: You were saying?
Thorn turns back towards Edge, who has gotten to his knees and points at Ariel, shouting, “What about us!?”
JR: Is he delusional? Hasn’t he clued in yet?
JBL: Well I guess it does look like she was setting Edge up…but Edge said they share something special!
JR: I think Edge was spewing BS and wishful thinking!
While Edge is still pointing accusingly at Ariel, Helms pulls out Edge out of the ring by his ankles and begins to lay in rights and lefts.
JR: PAY BACK CITY.
JBL: What the heck is he doing? Edge has a world title match!
JR: What do you think he’s doing John? Edge had this coming!
JBL: NO not during a title match damn it.
Helms whips Edge into the steep steps and his head crashes off of them.
Helms then runs full force and hits the Shining Wizard against the steps!
JBL: NO!
JR: Edge took Helms out of the Royal Rumble and Helms is taking Edge out of the main event at Wrestlemania!
Meanwhile Orton has gotten back to his feet and is on the attack on Kevin Thorn, knocking him down with a clothesline in the back.
JBL: Never take your eyes off the Legend Killer!
Thorn tries to get up and Orton fires off more punches trying to keep him down. Thorn pushes him off the ropes and tries to back drop Orton. Orton lands on his feet and hits his INVERTED BACK BREAKER!!!
Thorn falls to the mat and Orton goes for a cover.
1....
2...
2..99
Kick out.
JR: This match has more near falls than I have cowboy hats.
Orton slams his fists in anger but gets up to his feet and measures Thorn for the RKO.
Like a viper he gets down low and waits for Thorn to get to his feet.
JBL: This is Randy Orton’s moment!
Thorn rises and Orton leaps up for it. Thorn though catches him in mid air and positions Orton on the top rope and hits the DARK KISS!!
JR: MY GOD WHAT A COUNTER!!!!
JBL: SOMEONE CALL THE FAT LADY!!!
1......
2......
2...99
3...
FINK: Here is your winner and STILL WWE CHAMPION KEVIN THORN!!!!
JR: MY god what a match up John. What a Wrestlemania I am almost out of breath from calling this match..
JBL: Hats off to Kevin Thorn. He has defeated two men tonight to retain his title at Wrestlemania. Even I have to applaud him.
The entire Bloodline even Morganna come to the ring applauding Thorn’s efforts.
JR: The Mark of the Vampire has certainly been left on Wrestlemania!
Orton stumbles up the aisle cursing and shouting “NO! THIS WAS MY NIGHT!” Ric Flair comes out to try and console him.
JR: A lot of people don’t like Randy Orton but I will say this must be a heartbreaking moment for him.
JBL: What about Edge? He was set up by Ariel, duped and deceived, then taken out of the match by Hurricane Helms who had no business out here!
In the ring Thorn is spent but gets up and raises the title belt high in the air. Ariel gets in and the two embrace one another as fire works explode and confetti falls from the ceiling. Ariel jumps up into Thorn’s arms with her legs around his waist, bending back so he can lower his mouth to her neck.
JR: Thank you everyone tonight for watching and we hope you enjoyed the show.
JBL: They better have damn it, these WWE Superstars each gave it a 100)% tonight.
JR: For JBL I AM JIM ROSS SAYING GOODBYE!!
Wrestlemania ends with a highlight video set to the official theme song “Shoot to Thrill”.